Latest / Dear Chelsea / Marrying Yourself with Tiffany Haddish

Transcript

Marrying Yourself with Tiffany Haddish · Dear Chelsea

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, guys, here are my dates for the High and
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Mighty Tour. In August you can find me in Red Bank,
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: New Jersey, Montclair, New Jersey, and Calgary. That's Canada. And
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: September I will be in Santa Barbara, San Diego, New
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: York City, Philly and New Haven, Connecticut. October is Atlanta, Baltimore, Saginaw, Michigan, Pittsburgh, Toronto, Boise,
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: Idaho and Spokane. And then in November I'll be in
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: San Francisco. I'm coming to Salt Lake City, Austin, Houston,
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: Dallas Babies, I'll be there. And then in December I
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: am closing out my tour in Denver and Vancouver. So
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: get your tickets at Chelseahandler dot com for the High
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: and Mighty Tour.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea.
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: How is the handsome Spaniard situation over there?
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: Oh?
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: I'm so focused on my studies. You know that I'm
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: not even looking at men. You know me. When I
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: have a one focus of attention, it is to learn more.
• 0:56
  Speaker 4: The consummate students.
• 0:58
  Speaker 5: Estoya Key Para ap there no inter ma Interesa and
• 1:04
  Speaker 5: Los Ombres Manana until tomorrow. That is where I'm actually
• 1:12
  Speaker 5: being set up with a man, So we'll see how
• 1:13
  Speaker 5: that goes.
• 1:14
  Speaker 6: Nice.
• 1:15
  Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, we'll check back next week.
• 1:17
  Speaker 5: Well, I'm going for a little apparatzivo. How is your
• 1:20
  Speaker 5: como tefue vision.
• 1:23
  Speaker 7: Wavian weilindo la pisin At the tempo, we were just
• 1:28
  Speaker 7: floating in the pool the entire time and did almost
• 1:32
  Speaker 7: nothing and it was really lovely. Don't they if we
• 1:34
  Speaker 7: stayers and Cancun. Uh so it plamhrs near Cancun and
• 1:41
  Speaker 7: it was really lovely.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: Was it hot?
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: You know what?
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: I was worried it was gonna be like muggy and crazy,
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: but it actually was quite comfortable. Like during the day
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: you definitely wanted to be like in the pool, in
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: the water, but yeah, the evenings were like fine and.
• 1:55
  Speaker 6: It was really it was really delightful.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's nice.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: That's nice.
• 2:00
  Speaker 4: It was just like full relaxation.
• 2:02
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 2:03
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I have to say Madrid is one of the
• 2:05
  Speaker 5: most special cities I've ever spent time in. I've been
• 2:07
  Speaker 5: here for now for two weeks almost sally Endo Sabado
• 2:12
  Speaker 5: el Sabado, and I've been going to school every day
• 2:15
  Speaker 5: like a good little girl with my I have people
• 2:18
  Speaker 5: in my class.
• 2:18
  Speaker 9: It's very cute.
• 2:19
  Speaker 5: I go from nine thirty to one pm, and then
• 2:23
  Speaker 5: I go and I take myself to some ridiculous meal.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: Where I drink white wine and eat the freshest fish.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: They fly the fresh fish into Madrid. Every day. There's
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: fires everywhere, unfortunately.
• 2:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah, what's the deal, what's going on with that?
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 2:38
  Speaker 5: There's fires everywhere in Europe, but this air is pretty bad.
• 2:41
  Speaker 5: It's like you can feel it when you're walking around.
• 2:45
  Speaker 5: But I'm just enjoying my life, like Elouise at the Plaza.
• 2:48
  Speaker 5: I'm staying at a really beautiful hotel. I already have
• 2:51
  Speaker 5: set up like all these doctor just close to me.
• 2:55
  Speaker 5: I get my backcracked, I get dry needling. I'm like,
• 2:59
  Speaker 5: I'm just living my best life until I have to
• 3:01
  Speaker 5: come home, and yeah, it's pretty exciting. I'll see everybody
• 3:05
  Speaker 5: in Montclair or no red Bank red Bank assault out Montclair,
• 3:09
  Speaker 5: and then I have Calgary on the thirteenth of August,
• 3:12
  Speaker 5: I believe, or the fourteenth or the fifteenth, it could.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: Be any one of those days. Second say, yeah, it's
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: one of those days.
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah, go to Chelseahanler dot com to find out.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm coming back on tour. I'm back and on track.
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: This has been my reprieve, my respite.
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: I can tell you're arrested. Yeah, I can tell you're
• 3:29
  Speaker 4: rested and restored.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: I've been sleeping a lot.
• 3:33
  Speaker 6: Good.
• 3:34
  Speaker 5: That's excellent. Our guest was so fun this week. Oh yeah,
• 3:37
  Speaker 5: she's one of my favorites. She's been one of my
• 3:39
  Speaker 5: favorite friends for so many years. And I think she's
• 3:43
  Speaker 5: coming to my house in my worka next month. So
• 3:45
  Speaker 5: that's going to be really fun because I don't think
• 3:47
  Speaker 5: we've ever vacationed together. But she is a comic, she's
• 3:51
  Speaker 5: an actress, and she's a star of the upcoming Haunted Heist,
• 3:55
  Speaker 5: which is in theaters now. Please welcome Tiffany Hattish.
• 3:59
  Speaker 6: Oh look you. It reminds me of.
• 4:01
  Speaker 10: Mitzvah, reminds me of You're but totally perfect.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: It was really cute.
• 4:09
  Speaker 9: That was a party that I'm glad I really didn't miss.
• 4:11
  Speaker 6: I'm glad because that was the best party ever.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: It was. It was a great party. Who did I
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: sit with Billy Crystal? Billy Crystal and his wife, and
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: they were so proud of you.
• 4:22
  Speaker 9: It was like they were your parents.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: It was so Sweetlome Who did I go to that?
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: Who did I go to your party with Sarah?
• 4:30
  Speaker 8: Yes?
• 4:31
  Speaker 9: Yeah, it was a jew parade.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: You're a bunch of juice parading around a bunch.
• 4:36
  Speaker 6: Of Jews, a bunch of black people too. It was
• 4:39
  Speaker 6: the perfect civil.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: Rights You're here to promote your new movie, which is
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: called Haunted Heist.
• 4:46
  Speaker 9: It's gone video on demand.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: First of all, I was watching a bunch of your
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: stuff in the last couple of weeks. You like a
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: fucking murder mystery, don't you? You love that ship, you
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: liked it. You were a detective like three different times.
• 4:59
  Speaker 11: I was like, I love I wanted to be the police.
• 5:02
  Speaker 11: You know, I slept with so many.
• 5:04
  Speaker 9: So many police officers.
• 5:06
  Speaker 6: Yeah, and I want to be the police.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: With a lot of police officers I have, how many?
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: Do you think?
• 5:12
  Speaker 6: Probably?
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  Speaker 9: For really, I don't think that I've ever.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: Slept with a police officer to get out of something.
• 5:19
  Speaker 11: No, No, to get into something, to get something out
• 5:24
  Speaker 11: of it. And one of them turned into a judge,
• 5:28
  Speaker 11: went from police lawyer judge.
• 5:30
  Speaker 9: And did you ever get something out of it from them?
• 5:32
  Speaker 11: No?
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.
• 5:34
  Speaker 11: I got some life lessons and I picked up some
• 5:38
  Speaker 11: character traits and I'm able to like, I picked up discernment.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: That's right. I've also picked up discernment and later in
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: my later years. I didn't get discernment until a couple
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: of like years ago. It's pretty recent, and it's kind
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: of shocking when you do. When you do achieve discernment,
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: you're kind of like, wow, I was really fucking stupid
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: before that. Stupid is like and and no one would
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: ever look at me or you and think that they were.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: We are easily taken advantage of. But I have been
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: taken advantage of by friends, by lovers, by so many people.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: And not that I'm a victim, I'm not saying that,
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: but just like you would think I would be smarter
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: than that, and I'm not.
• 6:21
  Speaker 6: Yeah, well I am a victim.
• 6:24
  Speaker 11: I am a victim, and the victim side of me
• 6:26
  Speaker 11: has taken all that, all that energy and mutated it
• 6:30
  Speaker 11: into something good.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: I know, Well, things are going really well for you.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: Now they're going okay, No, they're going well, okay, they're
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: going well. Right, I'm going to say they're going well,
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: and that's gonna We're going to invite in the positivity.
• 6:41
  Speaker 6: Well, you know, the door is wide open for all
• 6:43
  Speaker 6: positives found the negative.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: We you started off this year with your Sports Illustrated cover,
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: which was badass. Thank you and you were so excited
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: and Chrise. Tiffany with full disclosure, was one of my
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: first dinner guest at my house when I had to
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: christen it with good vibes. Nice Tiffany, my friend Sarah,
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: my friend Jane, Jane Fonda was here, and then Ya
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: Minika was here, but she was in a real fucking
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: funk that night, so luckily we were like, get the
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: fuck out of here. She came downstairs to meet Jane
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  Speaker 1: Fond and she had a migraine and she didn't even
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  Speaker 1: acknowledge Jane. She sits down and she just like looks
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  Speaker 1: up and Jane's like hello, And so that was ridiculous.
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  Speaker 4: Someone had to bring the bad vibes.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: But yeah, so you helped Chris in my new house
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: and put it in the good vibes. But I want
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: to talk about your Sports Illustrated because I know you
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: were so proud of that, and I was so proud
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  Speaker 1: of it. When you told me, I was like wow,
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: and then I saw it all the time, Like you
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: guys did a runway show, do they make you do
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: all of this stuff.
• 7:44
  Speaker 11: When you're on the cover, they don't make you do it,
• 7:46
  Speaker 11: but they definitely would like.
• 7:48
  Speaker 6: For you to do everything right. And there was so
• 7:51
  Speaker 6: much more.
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  Speaker 11: I didn't do everything that they wanted because everything counts
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  Speaker 11: with the big check.
• 7:57
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm tipyad.
• 7:59
  Speaker 9: Tiffany likes to get for everything.
• 8:01
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I do want to be paid. I want to
• 8:03
  Speaker 6: be compensated.
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  Speaker 11: No exploitation without compensation. That is something that I picked
• 8:08
  Speaker 11: to discernment.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: But we both at a charity event the other night
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: for Jane, and we didn't get paid for that, unless
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: you had a side hustle going no, no, we did.
• 8:17
  Speaker 6: Not get paid for that.
• 8:18
  Speaker 11: But I feel like there was compensation in that because
• 8:21
  Speaker 11: we get the friendship of Jamee Fonder and that is
• 8:25
  Speaker 11: very valuable. Like I mean, she changed the light switches
• 8:28
  Speaker 11: in my house so that I could have demurs.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: She did that night.
• 8:33
  Speaker 11: Yes, she said it's too bright in here, and she
• 8:37
  Speaker 11: sent a very sexy electrician over and.
• 8:40
  Speaker 6: He came through and he changed my switches.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: Wow, Jane is amazing.
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: Like she's in there with a screwdriver.
• 8:50
  Speaker 6: But she said the very end, it's just amazing. That's
• 8:54
  Speaker 6: what real friends do.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: I know, I know she It's amazing to me how
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: much shit she gets done every single day, Like she
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: is tireless.
• 9:03
  Speaker 9: I've never seen anybody like that.
• 9:04
  Speaker 11: I think she stares at the wall. Have you heard
• 9:07
  Speaker 11: this new? This thing is it's new to me, but
• 9:09
  Speaker 11: it's probably as old as time. But when you take
• 9:12
  Speaker 11: a break, like actually take a break, like don't do anything,
• 9:16
  Speaker 11: don't pick up your phone, don't look at pictures and nothing,
• 9:19
  Speaker 11: just stare at the wall or just stare at a tree,
• 9:22
  Speaker 11: but just stare at something for like ten to twenty minutes,
• 9:24
  Speaker 11: like empty your brain out.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: Just stare at something and then start again and then
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: start again. Yeah, that's like meditation.
• 9:32
  Speaker 11: Yeah, and I think she does that because I feel
• 9:35
  Speaker 11: like she does it in the middle of conversation.
• 9:36
  Speaker 6: Sometimes I feel like I'm telling her a story and
• 9:40
  Speaker 6: she's like, I've seen it.
• 9:44
  Speaker 9: I've definitely seen her look at you like that.
• 9:46
  Speaker 8: Sure.
• 9:47
  Speaker 9: Okay, so you got married to your you got married this.
• 9:49
  Speaker 6: Year to myself? Yeah? Last year?
• 9:52
  Speaker 11: Was it?
• 9:52
  Speaker 6: The year before?
• 9:53
  Speaker 11: I don't know, two your anniversaries coming up?
• 9:56
  Speaker 9: It's how did you decide to do that?
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: Well?
• 9:58
  Speaker 11: I just was really real, like, okay, so everybody sol Tiffany,
• 10:01
  Speaker 11: who are you with?
• 10:02
  Speaker 6: Who you with? Who you're dating? And that kind of
• 10:03
  Speaker 6: bothered me.
• 10:04
  Speaker 11: I don't like that because I remember before fame, nobody
• 10:07
  Speaker 11: cared who I was dating. I could be whatever kind
• 10:09
  Speaker 11: of horror I wanted to be, and nobody thought about it,
• 10:12
  Speaker 11: nobody asked questions about it. And then I started like,
• 10:15
  Speaker 11: I'm dating these different guys and like they all want
• 10:18
  Speaker 11: to be with me so bad, but then I'm not
• 10:21
  Speaker 11: wanting them like that, and then they're not like really
• 10:23
  Speaker 11: serving me, and then I'm like, how can I expect
• 10:26
  Speaker 11: them to make me happy if I don't know exactly
• 10:28
  Speaker 11: what makes me happy? And how am I going to
• 10:30
  Speaker 11: make a real commitment if I'm not making any commitment.
• 10:32
  Speaker 11: I've never made a commitment to myself, except like to
• 10:35
  Speaker 11: fulfill my dreams, but nothing like for like let me
• 10:38
  Speaker 11: take care of you, let me love on you, Like
• 10:40
  Speaker 11: I've never really committed like that, except for I guess
• 10:42
  Speaker 11: when I got married for real life to a man
• 10:46
  Speaker 11: and then I had the fore clothes on him that
• 10:47
  Speaker 11: didn't work out.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: That did not work out, No, I didn't, no, I.
• 10:52
  Speaker 6: But discernment came with that lesson.
• 10:54
  Speaker 9: So how did you celebrate your wedding to yourself.
• 10:56
  Speaker 11: So basically, I invited my best friends and we went
• 10:59
  Speaker 11: to Africa and I had a ceremony and marry me
• 11:03
  Speaker 11: and then we danced a little bit, ate some food.
• 11:06
  Speaker 11: And now every year on my anniversary, I take me
• 11:09
  Speaker 11: to like the bel Air hotel.
• 11:12
  Speaker 6: I take me.
• 11:12
  Speaker 11: Somewhere nice and that has a jacuzzie, and I basically
• 11:16
  Speaker 11: buy me flowers and I do all this nice stuff
• 11:18
  Speaker 11: for me that I would want my man to do
• 11:19
  Speaker 11: for me. And I made a manual basically, and I'm
• 11:23
  Speaker 11: about to I think I kind of want to publish it,
• 11:25
  Speaker 11: but then I think that might be too much. But
• 11:27
  Speaker 11: I'm going to give it to the guy that I
• 11:29
  Speaker 11: think is the guy and be like, this is all
• 11:31
  Speaker 11: the stuff you got to do to just make me happy.
• 11:33
  Speaker 11: This is how you win me over. Yeah, this is
• 11:35
  Speaker 11: how you can, you know, get whatever you want out
• 11:36
  Speaker 11: of me. This is how you win you know.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: What's really annoying is when you tell people directly what
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: you want, especially men that you're dating. If you tell
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: them directly what you want and they don't follow that, Like, you're.
• 11:46
  Speaker 11: Like, that's why I put it in a manual with
• 11:48
  Speaker 11: sketches and stuff, and then like I can. And if
• 11:52
  Speaker 11: you can't do this, then we wasn't supposed to be together.
• 11:55
  Speaker 11: You can't put this, you can't put this together.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. It's like listen, if we're telling you like
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: we're self empowered, that means we need that in order
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: to stay with you. So if you're not following the manual,
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: then you're not going to get to stay with us.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: This is a very frustrating thing. Being direct is like,
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: sometimes you think I want to ask you a question.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: I know you've had a lot of breakups, Like I.
• 12:15
  Speaker 11: Just went off on somebody earlier today on the way here.
• 12:19
  Speaker 6: That might be why I came so early.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: I've never seen you early in your life, so it
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: was shocking.
• 12:26
  Speaker 11: And I'm always early if I think it's work. If
• 12:30
  Speaker 11: it's work, I will show it's true. Yes, yes, yes,
• 12:33
  Speaker 11: and social I behind.
• 12:35
  Speaker 6: I'll get there when I get there.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: Between hanging out, why did you do? What happened today?
• 12:40
  Speaker 11: So this guy that I've been talking to that lives
• 12:42
  Speaker 11: in New York, we've been talking for a while and
• 12:45
  Speaker 11: we ended up hooking up, and I was.
• 12:46
  Speaker 6: I didn't enjoy it. I didn't enjoy it.
• 12:48
  Speaker 11: I just didn't and but I like him as a person.
• 12:51
  Speaker 11: But then it just the more he would talk to me,
• 12:54
  Speaker 11: the more I just don't want to talk, you know,
• 12:56
  Speaker 11: like once to somebody and if it's bad, or it's
• 12:58
  Speaker 11: not necessarily bad, it's just good enough for me. It's
• 13:01
  Speaker 11: just like, yeah, I don't want to I don't want
• 13:03
  Speaker 11: to be bothered. Yeah, I don't want to be bothered.
• 13:05
  Speaker 11: And that might be mistakes. Happened like two years ago,
• 13:08
  Speaker 11: it has happened since, but I still be like entertaining
• 13:11
  Speaker 11: the conversation, and so I'm like, look, I can't keep
• 13:14
  Speaker 11: entertaining this no more. Like I'm not into you. I'll
• 13:18
  Speaker 11: never be into you. You ain't seen me naked in
• 13:20
  Speaker 11: a long ass time. I don't want to see you naked.
• 13:23
  Speaker 11: Like and he's a beautiful man, but just don't don't
• 13:27
  Speaker 11: don't be putting your hopes on me.
• 13:29
  Speaker 6: I hope you got other girls you're talking to you.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: This is the difference between women and men is that
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: we will I will put out a flame on behalf
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: of the other person. Like what you're saying is you're like,
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: I don't want to give you any false hope, right,
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: Whereas men want to keep women lingering around so they
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: don't definitively tell you when they're not interested, whereas we're
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: not trying to waste anybody's time. I don't want to
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: break your heart. If you're into this and I'm not
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: into this, I want to just cut you loose and
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: be respectful of another person, right, be nice if everyone
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: behavior yeah.
• 13:58
  Speaker 11: Yeah, well, because it's like, well to me, they I
• 14:00
  Speaker 11: think they do that case this one that I really
• 14:02
  Speaker 11: want to be with, don't want to give me no
• 14:03
  Speaker 11: ask today? Maybe this one that I kind of like,
• 14:06
  Speaker 11: which is cool.
• 14:07
  Speaker 6: I get it. I have dudes that are online for that.
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 14:10
  Speaker 11: That's just like you know, if I need some I'll
• 14:12
  Speaker 11: give you a car. But it's not like I don't
• 14:16
  Speaker 11: want to be I don't want to be your thing.
• 14:17
  Speaker 11: I don't want to be your main person.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: What is the lowest thing that you've ever done during
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: a breakup?
• 14:22
  Speaker 6: The lowest thing do you have?
• 14:24
  Speaker 8: Do you have a.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: Regret any regrets about the way you've handled a breakup?
• 14:29
  Speaker 6: Nah? Really?
• 14:31
  Speaker 11: I mean I've shitten in shoes, but I don't regret
• 14:33
  Speaker 11: shitting in them shoes I have I have made uh
• 14:37
  Speaker 11: sex videos, made copies of the dude sex state that
• 14:40
  Speaker 11: he had with the bitch that he was cheating on
• 14:41
  Speaker 11: me with.
• 14:42
  Speaker 6: I didn't regret that at all.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: You got videos of the affair. Yeah, how did you
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: do that?
• 14:48
  Speaker 6: He had? He's stupid.
• 14:50
  Speaker 11: He was stupid, he he he was dumb as fuck.
• 14:54
  Speaker 6: So okay.
• 14:54
  Speaker 11: So he was trying to film me. He wants to
• 14:56
  Speaker 11: film me and him having sex. This is We're twenty
• 14:58
  Speaker 11: one years old. He wanted to film us having sex together.
• 15:01
  Speaker 11: And I was like, no, no, I don't want to
• 15:03
  Speaker 11: do that. And then one day, this is like a
• 15:05
  Speaker 11: few days after my birthday, I wanted to film it.
• 15:08
  Speaker 11: I'm like, let's film it. Okay, let's do this. I've
• 15:10
  Speaker 11: been thinking about it. Yeah, you know, we only be
• 15:12
  Speaker 11: young for so long. We need to capture our bodies
• 15:14
  Speaker 11: the way they are now. And I say, so good, Yeah,
• 15:16
  Speaker 11: this is gonna be great. And I grab the camera
• 15:18
  Speaker 11: and I start to push record. When I grabs the
• 15:21
  Speaker 11: camera and it was on top of the TV, he
• 15:23
  Speaker 11: yanks the camera from me, scratches my face.
• 15:25
  Speaker 6: I still got a scratch on his.
• 15:26
  Speaker 11: Cheek from it, and he takes the tape out, goes
• 15:29
  Speaker 11: outside in the rain, throws the tape in a dumpster.
• 15:33
  Speaker 6: So I'm like, what the hell is on that tape? Right?
• 15:36
  Speaker 11: So I play dumb or whatever. We start making out,
• 15:38
  Speaker 11: like ooh, my stomach making wear noise.
• 15:40
  Speaker 6: Let me go to the bathroom real quick. I go
• 15:41
  Speaker 6: to the bathroom.
• 15:42
  Speaker 11: I wait like twenty minutes in the bathroom, just staring
• 15:45
  Speaker 11: at the wall, deciding how I'm a murder this motherfucker.
• 15:48
  Speaker 11: And then I was like, okay, I can't make I'm
• 15:49
  Speaker 11: not gonna commit murder. I got a lot of life
• 15:51
  Speaker 11: to live. I want to do that. But I'm I'm
• 15:53
  Speaker 11: gonna go in that dumpster. So I tell him I'm sick.
• 15:56
  Speaker 11: I'm really sick. I cannot do this. I gotta go home.
• 16:00
  Speaker 6: I get in my car and I drive.
• 16:01
  Speaker 11: About three blocks away, come back around park about a
• 16:05
  Speaker 11: half a block away from his place, walk down, go
• 16:09
  Speaker 11: down into the garage area where the dumpsters are, and
• 16:12
  Speaker 11: I get the dumpster diving.
• 16:14
  Speaker 6: It's raining too, it's.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: Nasty, it's outside the yeah.
• 16:18
  Speaker 6: And it's raining and it's raining, and I'm out there.
• 16:20
  Speaker 6: I find the tape.
• 16:22
  Speaker 11: Okay, I needed one of those adapter VHS tapes to
• 16:25
  Speaker 11: see what was on there because it's a little high eight.
• 16:27
  Speaker 11: So I drove around till three o'clock in the morning
• 16:30
  Speaker 11: to every drug store, Walmart, I mean everywhere, Kmart, Target,
• 16:34
  Speaker 11: I was driving everywhere CVS.
• 16:36
  Speaker 6: I don't even think CVS existed.
• 16:38
  Speaker 11: Then I think it was Savin's and Walgreens. Girl, I
• 16:41
  Speaker 11: was driving down ever trying to find that damn adapter.
• 16:44
  Speaker 11: And then I remember that my homegirl Anna, Anna, had
• 16:48
  Speaker 11: the same video camera that he had. I had to
• 16:50
  Speaker 11: start going into my memory like who do I know
• 16:52
  Speaker 11: they got cameras?
• 16:53
  Speaker 6: Who do I know?
• 16:54
  Speaker 11: Like literally, when I tell you, I was sitting in
• 16:55
  Speaker 11: my Geo Metro trying to manifest the thoughts, trying to
• 16:58
  Speaker 11: find trying to the knowledge, and then I was like, oh, Anna,
• 17:02
  Speaker 11: Anna has the same sony camera. So I called Anna
• 17:06
  Speaker 11: like five in the morning and I said, Anna, I
• 17:08
  Speaker 11: will bring you whatever alcohol, beverage you want.
• 17:12
  Speaker 6: Whatever weed, tobacco, whatever you need.
• 17:15
  Speaker 11: I will bring it to you right now if you
• 17:16
  Speaker 11: let me borrow your camera for a couple of days.
• 17:19
  Speaker 6: And she said what do you need it for?
• 17:20
  Speaker 11: I said, girl, I got this this acting project I'm
• 17:23
  Speaker 11: trying to put together. And she said, okay, yeah, just
• 17:26
  Speaker 11: bring me. Just bring me like a six pack and
• 17:28
  Speaker 11: some six I said, all right, bet what brand you want,
• 17:31
  Speaker 11: got her the brand, got her the cist out and
• 17:33
  Speaker 11: got her some black and miles, and I got her
• 17:35
  Speaker 11: at fifthy Weed.
• 17:36
  Speaker 6: I was not playing.
• 17:37
  Speaker 11: Okay and bro out of and she gave me the
• 17:40
  Speaker 11: camera and I went home. I was home probably about
• 17:43
  Speaker 11: about seven in the morning. I plug up the camera,
• 17:47
  Speaker 11: I put the taping in. I rewinded all the way
• 17:50
  Speaker 11: to the beginning before I push play, now, push play,
• 17:53
  Speaker 11: and then I hear me going, come.
• 17:54
  Speaker 6: On, let's make a movie. We making this movie. We
• 17:58
  Speaker 6: gotta be something sexy. Our body's gonna look so you
• 18:02
  Speaker 6: know this.
• 18:03
  Speaker 11: And then it cuts to it cuts to him saying, no,
• 18:06
  Speaker 11: that's not how Tiffany do it.
• 18:08
  Speaker 6: When you do it, you gotta do it like this.
• 18:10
  Speaker 6: This is how Tiffany do it.
• 18:11
  Speaker 11: And and like he's telling her, he's basically teaching this
• 18:15
  Speaker 11: bitch all my moves, and then they're like and then
• 18:18
  Speaker 11: it's it's dark, it's dark. And then all of a sudden,
• 18:20
  Speaker 11: the picture comes up and he's blowing this girl's back
• 18:23
  Speaker 11: out and he ain't got no kind of all. And
• 18:26
  Speaker 11: I watched it probably fifty times. That was so hard,
• 18:31
  Speaker 11: and I I wanted I wanted to I wanted to
• 18:35
  Speaker 11: destroy this man soul because it was it was killing
• 18:37
  Speaker 11: my soul.
• 18:39
  Speaker 6: It was like, HER's so bad.
• 18:42
  Speaker 11: So I went to hit and went down to the
• 18:45
  Speaker 11: swap meet and uh, and I had got that movie
• 18:50
  Speaker 11: Charlie's Angels on bootleg and I was like, I'm gonna
• 18:53
  Speaker 11: watch this. This's gonna make me feel better, right. So
• 18:55
  Speaker 11: I was watching that and then he called me and
• 18:58
  Speaker 11: was like, what's up, y'all?
• 18:59
  Speaker 6: You feeling you feeling better? I was like, nah, I'm
• 19:01
  Speaker 6: still sick.
• 19:02
  Speaker 11: But the more sick I get, the more I just
• 19:04
  Speaker 11: think I don't think we should be together no more.
• 19:06
  Speaker 11: I want to break up with you. I told him
• 19:08
  Speaker 11: my mom break up with him. He told me, I'm crazy.
• 19:10
  Speaker 11: Are you tripping? He come banging on my door. I
• 19:12
  Speaker 11: don't answer the door, and then he leaves, and he
• 19:16
  Speaker 11: leaves like flowers and stuff at the door, like.
• 19:18
  Speaker 6: You need you just tripping.
• 19:20
  Speaker 11: And then his mama call me, his aunt, he's called me,
• 19:24
  Speaker 11: his grandmama call me. They all tell me I'm crazy,
• 19:26
  Speaker 11: I got a mental problem. How could you break up
• 19:29
  Speaker 11: with him? This man loves you, He'll do anything for you,
• 19:33
  Speaker 11: And I'm like, that's bullshit, that's bullshit. But you know
• 19:38
  Speaker 11: I still want to honor him, you know. But they
• 19:40
  Speaker 11: kept on pressing me, kept pressing, and it was pissing
• 19:43
  Speaker 11: me off. How they was pumping this man up.
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: And I started, did you tell them the truth?
• 19:47
  Speaker 6: Not yet? Now yet yet?
• 19:50
  Speaker 8: Not yet?
• 19:51
  Speaker 6: I just said, I like when.
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: Women aren't reactive and they hold onto their evidence and
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: then decide when they're going to.
• 19:59
  Speaker 11: I just said to him, you need to talk because
• 20:00
  Speaker 11: his sister warned me. His sister two months before told
• 20:04
  Speaker 11: me you not my brother cheating on you. You know, my
• 20:06
  Speaker 11: brother be sleeping with the neighbor girl, like every time
• 20:09
  Speaker 11: you leave for mother here, when my mama go to work,
• 20:11
  Speaker 11: keep me with the neighbor girl. He just little Jamaican girl,
• 20:13
  Speaker 11: so you know, don't you know he'd be cheating. And
• 20:16
  Speaker 11: his sister's like eight, And I'm like, this little girl lying,
• 20:18
  Speaker 11: This little girl just don't want.
• 20:19
  Speaker 6: Me to be with her brother or whatever.
• 20:21
  Speaker 11: But then I just start thinking about it, like, man,
• 20:24
  Speaker 11: she's always attached to me. She's like the girl always
• 20:28
  Speaker 11: wants to play with me, laugh with me, Like I
• 20:31
  Speaker 11: don't think she They'll start being like she might not
• 20:33
  Speaker 11: be lying. So then I ask him and he's like
• 20:36
  Speaker 11: she's making that up. I don't know where she get
• 20:38
  Speaker 11: that from. So, and I want to believe him. I'm
• 20:40
  Speaker 11: twenty one, I'm stupid, fully dumb, so whatever he say,
• 20:44
  Speaker 11: I believe. But after I saw that video, yes, So,
• 20:46
  Speaker 11: then I got so mad. I got so mad, and
• 20:49
  Speaker 11: I got so in my head, and I had my
• 20:51
  Speaker 11: homegirl come over and watch with me. I said, what
• 20:53
  Speaker 11: you think I should do? I think I'm a destroy
• 20:55
  Speaker 11: this man. She was like, did you break up with him?
• 20:58
  Speaker 11: I said, yeah, we broke up. And I'm like, his
• 21:00
  Speaker 11: family keep harassing me, but it's really bothered me. I
• 21:03
  Speaker 11: just really want to destroy him, like I feel like
• 21:05
  Speaker 11: he's destroyed me. And she said, do what you think
• 21:09
  Speaker 11: is right. And he had left some shoes at my house.
• 21:12
  Speaker 11: So I do do it in those shoes, I ate corn,
• 21:17
  Speaker 11: I do do it in them. But before that, I
• 21:20
  Speaker 11: went ahead and I got a bunch of blank of
• 21:22
  Speaker 11: VHS tapes. This is the early two thousands, by the way,
• 21:26
  Speaker 11: and I took that Charlie's Angels movie, and right in
• 21:29
  Speaker 11: the middle of the Charlie's Angels movie, I put his
• 21:33
  Speaker 11: sex tape and I made enough copies for every single
• 21:36
  Speaker 11: family member that called me and told me this man,
• 21:38
  Speaker 11: love you, and for Christmas, I sent it to every
• 21:43
  Speaker 11: single one of those family members.
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: And did you tell them I was imperative to watch
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: the movie because what if they weren't interested in Charlie's Angels?
• 21:49
  Speaker 6: No, no, I did not.
• 21:50
  Speaker 11: Say it was imperative to either they watch it or
• 21:52
  Speaker 11: did don't watch it? And right in there I put
• 21:54
  Speaker 11: Corn's angel.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: His name was, His name was Cornelias old us that part,
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: that's an important part of the story for you eating
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: corn and then taking a shadubi and his shoes. This
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: is a strong play, yeah, very strong move. This is
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: another level of breaking up.
• 22:12
  Speaker 11: Actually, I wrote about that in my book and I
• 22:15
  Speaker 11: named him TuS Titus in the book. So his name
• 22:17
  Speaker 11: is Titus, middle name Cordinelius.
• 22:24
  Speaker 9: Have you had nice breakups with men?
• 22:26
  Speaker 6: Yeah, pretty much. Most of my breakups have been pretty nice.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: That's nice.
• 22:29
  Speaker 11: But they all turned into a little bit of a
• 22:31
  Speaker 11: stalker for a little bit and.
• 22:33
  Speaker 9: The yeah, men can be like that.
• 22:37
  Speaker 6: And I could too. I might have been a little
• 22:39
  Speaker 6: bit of a stoker.
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Once or twice I went through
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: a phase like that once. Tiffany and I, this is
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: a story. Tiffany and I I don't remember where we
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: were what we were doing, but we were Backsta. We
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: were doing something and she was like, you were like,
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: come over here, and you were talking about we're talking
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: about how much like we pay for other people and
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: family members and stuff like that, and she's like, I
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: need you to come here and look at my bank
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: account balance and she's like, does this seem right to you?
• 23:09
  Speaker 10: No, this does not right for the amount that you
• 23:13
  Speaker 10: are working, this is not the right balance.
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: And I was like, this, something has got to change.
• 23:19
  Speaker 11: That was that's because I really admire you, and I
• 23:22
  Speaker 11: feel like you should not like you can see my
• 23:25
  Speaker 11: career better than yeah. And I'm like, you tell me
• 23:29
  Speaker 11: what you think this, if this is right, because I.
• 23:31
  Speaker 6: Feel like this is wrong.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 23:33
  Speaker 11: Maybe, and maybe I'm crazy, Maybe I'm just over thinking
• 23:36
  Speaker 11: too highly of myself or maybe I'm just going extending
• 23:40
  Speaker 11: myself too much. And so I was like, can you
• 23:42
  Speaker 11: tell me if this is right? And you look at
• 23:45
  Speaker 11: them numbers and you said, NAHVI, this is.
• 23:50
  Speaker 6: When you were doing your show.
• 23:52
  Speaker 10: When you were doing your game show, she was working
• 23:54
  Speaker 10: like fucking five shows a day, filming like and I
• 23:57
  Speaker 10: was like, there, no, no, we all need I know well,
• 24:01
  Speaker 10: women especially need an education and find out.
• 24:04
  Speaker 11: What I feel like it was so important for us
• 24:06
  Speaker 11: to talk about that though, like I think, women we don't.
• 24:09
  Speaker 6: Talk about that with each other.
• 24:11
  Speaker 11: Men do and they're like, yeah, man, I'm getting paid this,
• 24:13
  Speaker 11: so then they know what to go ask for, but
• 24:15
  Speaker 11: we don't do that. So then in that moment, that's
• 24:17
  Speaker 11: when I decided I'm finna start asking my friends that
• 24:20
  Speaker 11: I think is successful and I know it's doing well
• 24:22
  Speaker 11: from my point of view what they see in this
• 24:25
  Speaker 11: because maybe I'm tripping and so and you've been so.
• 24:28
  Speaker 6: Good with that.
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: Thank you with that.
• 24:30
  Speaker 11: You're definitely like, no, bitch, you broke right now, that's
• 24:32
  Speaker 11: not that's not okay. Somebody is stealing from it.
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: Like you, it seems like you've repositioned yourself. You have
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: different management, you have different people around. It seems like
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: everything is moving in the right direction.
• 24:46
  Speaker 12: It is.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: I noticed, I noticed, Okay, we're gonna take some callers, Okay,
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: give some advice. Yes, I know, I know, since you
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: take a sermon, this one.
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: Is really juicy, so we yes.
• 25:02
  Speaker 4: He says, Dear Chelsea.
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: I started dating my boyfriend about four months ago before
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: we slept together for the first time we had a
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: conversation about contraception, and I explained to him that I
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: wasn't on birth control because my body doesn't react well
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: to it. He said that it was no issue at
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: all because he'd had of a sectomy. He already had
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: two kids from his previous marriage and doesn't want anymore.
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: So he said he'd made the decision to get snipped
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: or so.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: I thought, Oh, this is like that fucking but documentary
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: on Netflix, paternal Instinct woman who did.
• 25:32
  Speaker 6: The fine?
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: Can you believe? First of all, let's just let's break
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: stop down for a second, because we need to discuss
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: that maternalist.
• 25:39
  Speaker 11: I haven't seen it yet. Oh it's good, Okay, that
• 25:41
  Speaker 11: was good. I couldn't take my eyes off of.
• 25:43
  Speaker 9: The level of white trash in this country.
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: And I listen, I don't use that term loosely, but
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: the level of miseducation, Like this guy couldn't even string
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: a sentence together. He couldn't even put the right tenses together.
• 25:56
  Speaker 4: What's what's the premise?
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: Okay? Sorry, sorry, I'm going I'm too upset about the grammar.
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: I just couldn't believe the dumb assness of these people.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: It's like, no wonder we have fucking Trump in office
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: when people like this are just wandering around our country.
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: So the premise is, you want to take.
• 26:13
  Speaker 11: A woman two kids already meets handsome cowboy type du
• 26:18
  Speaker 11: that Okay, I was, I was dts Anyways, she she
• 26:23
  Speaker 11: wants to lock him in.
• 26:24
  Speaker 6: Now.
• 26:25
  Speaker 11: She's had a topic pregnancies before and had her tubes removed. Okay,
• 26:31
  Speaker 11: tubal ligation like she removed it. Oh, they had to
• 26:36
  Speaker 11: take the whole uter risk.
• 26:37
  Speaker 6: It's the directomy. Okay, she had a full kiss directedmy
• 26:41
  Speaker 6: she dating this dude, she trying to trap them. Okay.
• 26:44
  Speaker 11: She tells him, okay after a few months, a day,
• 26:46
  Speaker 11: not even a whole year, that she's pregnant. Okay, she
• 26:50
  Speaker 11: starts pretending to be pregnant, and her family is letting
• 26:53
  Speaker 11: us lie. This woman done told a thousand lies. Her
• 26:56
  Speaker 11: family is not saying nothing. She had a gender review,
• 27:00
  Speaker 11: a baby shower.
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: Oh my god.
• 27:03
  Speaker 11: Nobody's in her family saying nothing because she got something
• 27:05
  Speaker 11: over their.
• 27:06
  Speaker 6: Head or whatever. A few people here and there are
• 27:08
  Speaker 6: saying some one.
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: Of the boy family, it's starting.
• 27:12
  Speaker 11: And the mama, the mama, his mama calls up to
• 27:15
  Speaker 11: the or one of the friends or sister. Somebody in
• 27:18
  Speaker 11: this family calls the doctor's office because it's a small town, right.
• 27:21
  Speaker 6: The doctor's office see her posting stuff on Facebook.
• 27:23
  Speaker 10: My baby on the way the doctor's office.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: They gave her the hystoryctic and.
• 27:27
  Speaker 11: They're like, they're like, she not having no baby nowhere
• 27:31
  Speaker 11: else she having a baby, right, And the one of
• 27:34
  Speaker 11: the family members called in. They're like, they can't because
• 27:37
  Speaker 11: of hippos. They can't say she had to disrect me.
• 27:39
  Speaker 6: But they saying.
• 27:40
  Speaker 11: Double check, I would pay attention in five of you,
• 27:45
  Speaker 11: Like they can't tell that this woman that had to
• 27:47
  Speaker 11: disrect me. But and they can't say that she can't
• 27:49
  Speaker 11: get pregnant because who knows God makes miracles?
• 27:51
  Speaker 6: But no, right, so what she do with.
• 27:54
  Speaker 11: This this crazy b She pretend like she pregnant. She
• 27:59
  Speaker 11: she just a big girl, right, but then I guess
• 28:00
  Speaker 11: she put a little fake belly on.
• 28:01
  Speaker 6: But how you hitting that, sir?
• 28:03
  Speaker 11: You?
• 28:03
  Speaker 9: This is this is what is so dumb asses.
• 28:06
  Speaker 11: And like the level foot push it through the belly,
• 28:09
  Speaker 11: nothing like babies a.
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: Level Some asses in this country is astonished.
• 28:15
  Speaker 11: And thinking she ate milk. Maybe she tells the tolerant
• 28:17
  Speaker 11: and you know how when you eat milk. You could
• 28:18
  Speaker 11: fill that rumble, like.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: She had a fake pregnancy suit on that she ordered.
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: But like at some point the husband or the boyfriend
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: would see her naked or have sex with her, or
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: see her walk into the bathroom.
• 28:32
  Speaker 11: Now, but he'd like, pig farmer, dude, that's what I need.
• 28:37
  Speaker 11: If he ain't a pig, he don't.
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: Know, and he'd be like, I didn't know she had
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: she been. He'd be like, I didn't know she'd been expected.
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: Like the like the sentence structure was, I couldn't even
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: get past people.
• 28:50
  Speaker 11: But people talk like this. No he talked, They talked
• 28:53
  Speaker 11: like He's like, I don't know how in the hell
• 28:56
  Speaker 11: she was, adding, she says she suspected, so we like
• 29:01
  Speaker 11: it just sounds very slavey and it's like borderline slavery
• 29:04
  Speaker 11: slash like almost for your type.
• 29:06
  Speaker 6: It's just bad. It's just bad grammar, bad everything.
• 29:10
  Speaker 11: And she basically went and befriended this woman that she befriended,
• 29:14
  Speaker 11: took pictures of this woman at her wedding and everything.
• 29:17
  Speaker 11: She's a photographer to the woman's the lion ass bitches
• 29:19
  Speaker 11: a photographer. Okay, took pictures of her friend at the
• 29:22
  Speaker 11: mother fucking wedding after her friend's baby shower at her
• 29:27
  Speaker 11: friends party, go over to girl let's.
• 29:29
  Speaker 6: Hat tea lest whatever.
• 29:30
  Speaker 11: I've come kicking with my friend and all the other friends.
• 29:32
  Speaker 11: And the friend is very pregnant. And now she's ten
• 29:36
  Speaker 11: months and everybody's like, hey, you fourteen days behind your
• 29:39
  Speaker 11: do date?
• 29:39
  Speaker 12: What's up?
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: Point? Everyone has safe yet, Like even the mother of
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: the guy was like, hey this, we don't trust this woman.
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: We don't think she's pregnant. We don't believe she's pregnant.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: She passed her due date by like a month, which
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: is like, are you an elephant?
• 29:53
  Speaker 9: That doesn't happen?
• 29:53
  Speaker 4: Right?
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: And and then so they were telling him and he's like,
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: oo nude.
• 30:00
  Speaker 11: And then and then this bitch go over to the
• 30:03
  Speaker 11: homegirl house right when everybody gone to work and stuff,
• 30:07
  Speaker 11: and her baby in near sleep, her daughter in there sleep.
• 30:09
  Speaker 6: This bitch come over early in the morning, kills her friend,
• 30:12
  Speaker 6: slices her baby.
• 30:14
  Speaker 11: Out of her bed, okay, leaves her on the floor,
• 30:18
  Speaker 11: takes the baby, starts driving a radical lead like she
• 30:21
  Speaker 11: had it to the hospital because she told her husband
• 30:23
  Speaker 11: to her boyfriend to meet her at the hospital because
• 30:25
  Speaker 11: she having a baby.
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: The baby still have the umbilical court on. But everyone
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: had been kind of red alerted in this town, the
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: hospital and the police both because they knew that she
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: was lying and everyone knew the story. So when they
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: got there, they filmed everything, and and she's like, i mean,
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: talk about a dumbouse. She's like, what, like she could
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: and they're like, well, let's see your vagina and make
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: sure you're okay.
• 30:51
  Speaker 9: Basically, you just.
• 30:52
  Speaker 6: Deliver the baby. Sure, stupid. She should have did that
• 30:55
  Speaker 6: shit when she was all her period.
• 30:57
  Speaker 11: Oh wait, you don't have periods because you got a
• 30:59
  Speaker 11: hysterict So she didn't even got no blood. You know,
• 31:03
  Speaker 11: you got a little blood on your pants, little blood
• 31:05
  Speaker 11: on the back of the pajama bottoms or something you
• 31:06
  Speaker 11: will be bleeding through.
• 31:08
  Speaker 6: She came out of there with just a little bit
• 31:09
  Speaker 6: of blood on her shirt from the bleeding.
• 31:13
  Speaker 4: The woman survive.
• 31:19
  Speaker 6: The doing life in jail. But I'm like, she's so dumb.
• 31:21
  Speaker 11: She should have put that blood of the lady all
• 31:23
  Speaker 11: between her legs or something like either white, but it
• 31:26
  Speaker 11: doesn't matter. Why are you taking somebody else's back?
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that, but also, how do you think that plan?
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: You think that you're gonna steal someone's baby from their belly,
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: take it out of their stomach, and they're not gonna
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: find out.
• 31:39
  Speaker 4: Right, They're not gonna find a body like what.
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: I just don't understand how stupid people are. It's I
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: guess you're just so crazy that it supersedes the stupid.
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: But then it's like a permanent state of psychosis.
• 31:54
  Speaker 11: All your friends, your neighbors, like everybody, like they just
• 31:57
  Speaker 11: let you keep talking that ship, like her mom and
• 32:01
  Speaker 11: dad said, they we don't deal with her at all.
• 32:03
  Speaker 6: She's a pathological lion. We don't deal with her at all.
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: What was really sad was after the husband or the boyfriend,
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: whatever he is, the farm or the pig farmer he is,
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: he's like, you know what was the most touching part
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: was how much his mother loved him and was like,
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: I just wish he had listened to me, Like I
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: warned him. I told him, but he was getting angry
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: at the people who were telling him the truths, as
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: one does. And then he's been shunned and ostracized by
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: the community and society because he was with her.
• 32:30
  Speaker 9: And so now this poor guy, and.
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: You know who I liked in that documentary, he's best friend,
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: he had some fucking soul. He came and he was like,
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: you have to listen to me. Forget about all this gossip.
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: You have to listen to me, Manda. Man, this woman
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: is out. She's not right, something's wrong with her, and
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: he couldn't listen to her because it's the power of
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: the pussy.
• 32:47
  Speaker 6: Yeah, she even.
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: Though he wasn't getting any pussy, because if he was,
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: he would have known she wasn't.
• 32:51
  Speaker 11: Pregnant, right, But he probably don't know the difference between
• 32:53
  Speaker 11: pregnant pissy and not pregnant pisty.
• 32:55
  Speaker 6: She probably really just.
• 33:00
  Speaker 11: Hobbing on a knob and keeping them drunk every night.
• 33:02
  Speaker 11: And then she probably had gas, so she's like, look,
• 33:04
  Speaker 11: the baby's moving with gas bubbles and stuff it. Then
• 33:07
  Speaker 11: I probably gave her liberty to fart and like freely
• 33:10
  Speaker 11: and stuff, and he's just thinking, oh, she's making my baby,
• 33:13
  Speaker 11: but really she's a nasty, dirty Okay.
• 33:15
  Speaker 9: Anyway, that was a slight sidebar.
• 33:17
  Speaker 4: A tiny sidebar. Minutes later that is taking this email
• 33:21
  Speaker 4: sound very tame. Okay, go, we'll pick back up where
• 33:25
  Speaker 4: we left off.
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: So you know, she thought that he had He told
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: her that he had had a vaseectomy, or so I thought.
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: I missed my period this month, but still thought nothing
• 33:33
  Speaker 3: of it and assumed it was due to stress or
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: lack of sleep. But when I still didn't get it
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: weeks later, I decided to take a pregnancy test. Well
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: it was positive. I'm hurt and upset that he lied
• 33:43
  Speaker 3: about something so serious. I'm not someone who wants to
• 33:45
  Speaker 3: carry a child and have never wanted kids. Even though
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: I adore his children, I still don't want one of
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: my own. Because of this, I've decided to terminate the pregnancy.
• 33:52
  Speaker 3: I'm trying to figure out how I should handle these feelings.
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: Things haven't been going well for us, and I've been
• 33:57
  Speaker 3: wanting to break things off anyway. But do I first
• 33:59
  Speaker 3: tell him that I'm pregnant and demand an explanation on
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: why he lied to me? Or do I go through
• 34:04
  Speaker 3: this alone and keep it to myself. I feel incredibly betrayed,
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: and any advice you have in the situation would be
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: greatly appreciated.
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: What do you think, oh, my nass? Though she wants
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: to play a trick on him, I'm evil.
• 34:19
  Speaker 6: I'm evil.
• 34:20
  Speaker 11: No, I would tell him his vasectomy doesn't work, and
• 34:24
  Speaker 11: I would if she wants to terminate the pregnancy, do
• 34:27
  Speaker 11: the little peel or whatever.
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: But absolutely don't fucking tell him anything. He doesn't get
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: to know because he's untrustworthy to lie about something like that.
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: It's very deceptive and something's wrong with him. So get
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: him out, get rid of him as quickly as possible.
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: If you want to confront him after the fact, go ahead.
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: But I mean, I know there's some self satisfaction you
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: think you're going to get by confronting people, but usually
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: no psychopath that you're just going to get moral lies.
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think if you're already thinking about bringing
• 34:55
  Speaker 3: up on him anyway, this is like way way way
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: right now.
• 34:58
  Speaker 9: This would be a reason to break up with someone
• 35:00
  Speaker 9: if you weren't.
• 35:00
  Speaker 4: Even if you weren't totally okay. Can viseectomies not work?
• 35:04
  Speaker 4: Don't they like work all of the time?
• 35:05
  Speaker 6: Or are there Well, it depends on how they did it.
• 35:08
  Speaker 11: Now, if they burnt the ends of the tubes, then
• 35:10
  Speaker 11: it should be done, unless he didn't get out eighty
• 35:13
  Speaker 11: nuts before.
• 35:14
  Speaker 6: But he got to visect me years before he meet.
• 35:17
  Speaker 11: So the only other thing is if they tied it
• 35:19
  Speaker 11: in a knot, then an could come untied and then
• 35:23
  Speaker 11: it could float through the Those are the only two
• 35:25
  Speaker 11: ways that I know of.
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean well, yeah, wow, I didn't even
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: think about that.
• 35:29
  Speaker 9: Maybe it didn't work.
• 35:30
  Speaker 11: I mean I would, I would handle business and I
• 35:33
  Speaker 11: would let him know that I need to go back
• 35:35
  Speaker 11: to the doctor. Yeah, and get your stuff checked because
• 35:38
  Speaker 11: you because as far as I'm concerned, you're a liar
• 35:41
  Speaker 11: or the doctor messed up the malpractice, because that's that
• 35:44
  Speaker 11: is not true.
• 35:45
  Speaker 6: Yeah, you have a visect me. It's not true.
• 35:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah, all right, d best of luck to you.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: I'm with a lot of medical stuff because I'm a doctor,
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: I know, but I'm a doctor.
• 35:55
  Speaker 9: I'm a pharmacist or a doctor.
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: She's a and I'm a pharmacist. We should of our
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: own doctor medical facillin. Allow, we should open one up
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: in my work gut.
• 36:03
  Speaker 6: We could do it. We could, Yeah, we couldn't.
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: Natural men diagnose them and then I prescribed.
• 36:13
  Speaker 11: Well.
• 36:13
  Speaker 3: Our first caller today is Miles, and Miles says, I
• 36:18
  Speaker 3: was in a relationship for fifteen years and when it ended,
• 36:21
  Speaker 3: I felt like I lost everything. I lost my wife,
• 36:23
  Speaker 3: my house, my family, and the future I thought I
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: was going to have. Now I'm living on my own
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: for the first time. I'm finding it hard to make
• 36:29
  Speaker 3: new friends, and honestly, the silence and loneliness can be overwhelming.
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: One of the hardest parts is knowing my ex has
• 36:35
  Speaker 3: already moved on and is in a new relationship while
• 36:37
  Speaker 3: I'm still trying to figure out who I am on
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: my own. How do I learn to be alone without
• 36:42
  Speaker 3: feeling lonely? How do I build a new life when
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: I feel like I'm starting from scratch? And how do
• 36:46
  Speaker 3: I truly move on when the person I thought I'd
• 36:48
  Speaker 3: spend my life with has already moved on?
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: Miles, Hi, Miles, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello. This is our
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: special guest today, Miss Tiffany Hattish is here.
• 36:58
  Speaker 6: Hello.
• 36:59
  Speaker 12: Oh my god, I saw you recently in Sydney. You're amazing.
• 37:04
  Speaker 6: Yes, this person you were with a Bogan.
• 37:10
  Speaker 12: Again.
• 37:11
  Speaker 11: No, okay, I know, I know you're not all Bogans.
• 37:15
  Speaker 6: I know that, I know.
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 37:17
  Speaker 6: I was just checking.
• 37:18
  Speaker 9: Well, that sounds like you're going through a really difficult time.
• 37:22
  Speaker 12: It's been a lot.
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's been a lot. I'm reading this book. It's
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: called This Is What Happens When Women Read that's the
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: name of the book, and it's about someone going through
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: not your exact situation, but like a kind of a
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: complete like breakdown of what she thought was her life
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: and the end of one of, you.
• 37:38
  Speaker 9: Know, of a part of her life.
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: And while that transition period, like what you're in right
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: now is so scary and unknown and like you feel
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: so destabilized, I can imagine and this is what you
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: expected from your life. This period of time is temporary,
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: it's not permanent, and what you do with this time
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: time is going to is going to matter for the
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: rest of your life. Like how you build and rebuild
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: your life from here is going to be really vital
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: to how you go through the rest of your life.
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: And it's a huge opportunity for intense growth and immense growth,
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: Like you want to really just dive in to actually
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: sitting alone and being alone with those feelings. Really, I
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: know it doesn't sound desirable and it's not fun to
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: be feeling this way, but the best way to get
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: through these things is to go straight through them and
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: not to numb yourself with alcohol or drugs or any
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: of that stuff, or exercise or whatever. Like you want
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: to do whatever you're doing, but you don't want to
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: numb yourself to what you're dealing with, because it's intensely painful,
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: I understand, and you want to experience that pain because
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: through that darkness you will find your light.
• 38:52
  Speaker 9: I promise you.
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: Everyone goes through really dark periods in their lives. Some
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: are more intense than others. But you have I have
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: a choice of how you handle it and how you
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: come out the other side.
• 39:03
  Speaker 11: And as someone who's been divorced and felt like everything
• 39:07
  Speaker 11: like that, when yeah, it felt like it was death,
• 39:09
  Speaker 11: death to the relationship in my mind kind of like
• 39:12
  Speaker 11: he's dead to me, Like everything was like, yeah, it
• 39:16
  Speaker 11: was dark. And what I did was I wallowed around
• 39:19
  Speaker 11: in that shit for a little bit. I ain't gonna
• 39:20
  Speaker 11: lie to you. I wallowed around in it, and I
• 39:23
  Speaker 11: did get drunk, and I did a lot of stupid stuff,
• 39:26
  Speaker 11: and I caused myself a lot of problems. Okay, And
• 39:30
  Speaker 11: then my grandma snatched me up and she said, like,
• 39:33
  Speaker 11: baby girl, baby girl, how long you're gonna be sad
• 39:36
  Speaker 11: about this man that's probably not sad about you, that's
• 39:38
  Speaker 11: probably already moved on, probably already doing somebody else. Like
• 39:42
  Speaker 11: do things that you enjoy. Just start doing things that
• 39:45
  Speaker 11: you enjoy, and if you don't enjoy nothing, pretend like
• 39:48
  Speaker 11: you enjoy it. So I got myself a little groupine.
• 39:50
  Speaker 11: I went to the little paint and sit classes. I
• 39:53
  Speaker 11: didn't my girlfriends wanted to take me places, but they
• 39:55
  Speaker 11: reminded me of him because that we all hung out together.
• 39:58
  Speaker 11: So I didn't want to really be around this that much.
• 40:01
  Speaker 11: I went to mail strip clubs. I watched men dance,
• 40:05
  Speaker 11: and I threw money at them, twenty dollars. I never
• 40:07
  Speaker 11: spent more than twenty dollars.
• 40:08
  Speaker 6: And I yelled.
• 40:10
  Speaker 11: I yelled really crazy things to them. Made I objectified
• 40:13
  Speaker 11: those men, and that made me feel good. Now, probably
• 40:16
  Speaker 11: was wrong, Probably should have been nice to those young men,
• 40:18
  Speaker 11: but I was not. I let me say that dick
• 40:20
  Speaker 11: slang motherfucker, dance better, bitch like. I was yelling stuff
• 40:24
  Speaker 11: like that, and it was a good time. And then
• 40:28
  Speaker 11: eleven months eleven months, I didn't date anybody else. And
• 40:31
  Speaker 11: then I just like kind of like really started figuring
• 40:34
  Speaker 11: out what do I want to do with my life,
• 40:36
  Speaker 11: what do I want to be? I started getting I
• 40:39
  Speaker 11: enrolled in acting classes. I enrolled in a calligraphy class,
• 40:42
  Speaker 11: which was weird as hell because I have the worst
• 40:44
  Speaker 11: handwriting and it was still bad. I failed back class,
• 40:47
  Speaker 11: but also took a voice vocal lessons, a dialect lessons,
• 40:53
  Speaker 11: like at speed reading class. I just started taking classes,
• 40:57
  Speaker 11: any kind of class. I went to the am the
• 41:00
  Speaker 11: AMAX at me.
• 41:02
  Speaker 6: You know, they had the speakers and the people that
• 41:04
  Speaker 6: teach little things.
• 41:05
  Speaker 11: And then like, I went to the community College for
• 41:07
  Speaker 11: a little bit, took a grooming dogs class, like and
• 41:10
  Speaker 11: I'll just meet people in these classes. And then I
• 41:11
  Speaker 11: would get on stage as much as possible because I'm
• 41:14
  Speaker 11: a comedian. I would talk about my problems and the
• 41:17
  Speaker 11: jokes didn't make no sense.
• 41:18
  Speaker 6: Baby, y'all. It was bad. I was bombing, but it's okay.
• 41:20
  Speaker 11: I was getting stuff off my chest, and I went
• 41:23
  Speaker 11: to therapy. And after eleven months, then I started dating.
• 41:27
  Speaker 11: And I started like, it's like the fog finally cleared.
• 41:30
  Speaker 9: How long has it been for you?
• 41:34
  Speaker 12: Well, it's been twelve months. But we lived together.
• 41:36
  Speaker 6: Oh yeah, you gotta get out of there.
• 41:39
  Speaker 12: Yeah no, no, we're not anymore. So we had to
• 41:40
  Speaker 12: live together. We have a five year old boy, so
• 41:43
  Speaker 12: we had to sell our house. I moved out in March,
• 41:45
  Speaker 12: bought my own place, so you know, I focused on,
• 41:48
  Speaker 12: you know, getting in a promotion at work, making sure
• 41:52
  Speaker 12: I bought my own place, so of all the right things,
• 41:55
  Speaker 12: and then it's you know, now twelve months later, I've
• 41:58
  Speaker 12: been living, you know, out on my own since March,
• 42:00
  Speaker 12: and then all of a sudden, the craziness stops, and
• 42:03
  Speaker 12: you know, all of the things that I wanted to
• 42:05
  Speaker 12: achieve I've done, and now it's just like emptiness.
• 42:09
  Speaker 11: Oh yeah, Now fill that up with something you always
• 42:13
  Speaker 11: wanted to do. Crochet sew when maybe learn how to
• 42:16
  Speaker 11: do here. Maybe become a dental high gennis, maybe you
• 42:19
  Speaker 11: become a mechanic.
• 42:21
  Speaker 6: Just pick up a little thing. You know.
• 42:23
  Speaker 11: You went Australia. It's a gang of finance man out there.
• 42:26
  Speaker 11: I would be hanging out at the little Is it
• 42:28
  Speaker 11: a woman or a man that you're with where you
• 42:30
  Speaker 11: were with?
• 42:30
  Speaker 12: I was with a woman for fifty I would try
• 42:34
  Speaker 12: a man.
• 42:34
  Speaker 11: Now, see how I try try something different, Just see
• 42:38
  Speaker 11: how it goes.
• 42:39
  Speaker 6: You might not like it.
• 42:40
  Speaker 11: You might be like, you know what, No, but it
• 42:42
  Speaker 11: says a gang of finance min it's a gang of
• 42:44
  Speaker 11: finance women too, so I would go enjoy it.
• 42:47
  Speaker 12: I definitely have tried that.
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: I think listen, first of all, you have to be
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: grateful for all of the things that you have, Like
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: you're not going through this and having financial struggles. You're
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: not going through this and you're unhealthy, or you're sick,
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: or you're kids sick or anything like that. Like you're
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: feeling emptiness. That's a completely valid human emotion to feel.
• 43:06
  Speaker 9: And feel it.
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: But because it's not going to last forever, I promise you,
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: you have to just feed your soul. You have to
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: read books that are going to help you move on
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: with your life. And what Tiffany is saying is great.
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: I didn't know you did all that shit when you
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: were going through your divorce.
• 43:19
  Speaker 9: I mean, that's bad ass.
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: To fill yourself up, Like do something that you never
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: thought you do. Take a sailing class, or go take
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: a pottery class, or do something that appeals to you,
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: whatever that is. But just start giving to yourself more
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: than you're giving in. It's okay to feel empty, it's
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: okay to feel lonely, but you have to remember, like
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: even the good times aren't permanent, so the bad times
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: can't be permanent either.
• 43:43
  Speaker 6: Or you could marry yourself. We could have a wedding
• 43:46
  Speaker 6: for you, girl. We could put this out there together.
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: Definitely just married herself two years ago. She's sending up
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: on a two year anniversary.
• 43:52
  Speaker 11: I'm coming up on that to year anniversary in August.
• 43:54
  Speaker 11: Your congratulations, Yeah, I'm married me.
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: Do you have a big support system?
• 43:59
  Speaker 9: Do you have a good support system?
• 44:01
  Speaker 12: So obviously I have my family, but you know, we
• 44:03
  Speaker 12: were together a long time and we built a friendship
• 44:06
  Speaker 12: group together. I think when she ended it, I stepped
• 44:10
  Speaker 12: away because I didn't want to say anything hurtful or
• 44:13
  Speaker 12: mean when I was angry to you know, mutual friends.
• 44:16
  Speaker 12: So I'm slowly trying to get back into, you know,
• 44:20
  Speaker 12: that friendship group that we had, but it's still awkward
• 44:23
  Speaker 12: for me. I do have, you know, three really close friends,
• 44:27
  Speaker 12: which is enough. Yeah, But now that I'm sort of
• 44:29
  Speaker 12: living in back in the city in Sydney, you know,
• 44:32
  Speaker 12: I want to go out and meet new people, but
• 44:34
  Speaker 12: it's I feel like I'm not myself. It's just it's awkward.
• 44:38
  Speaker 12: I've never been alone. And then obviously, you know, in
• 44:41
  Speaker 12: terms of support, I have my son half the time,
• 44:43
  Speaker 12: which is incredible.
• 44:45
  Speaker 11: But you're a new self. You're not yourself. You're not
• 44:48
  Speaker 11: yourself anymore. You're not that woman anymore that was married before.
• 44:51
  Speaker 11: You are a new person now, so it's like, yeah,
• 44:54
  Speaker 11: it's time to get to know you. It's time to
• 44:56
  Speaker 11: get to know what you're really into it. For fifteen years,
• 44:58
  Speaker 11: you were always consider it of this other person and
• 45:01
  Speaker 11: what they liked and what can we do together? Now
• 45:04
  Speaker 11: is what do I like? And what can I do
• 45:07
  Speaker 11: with me that other people would want to do with
• 45:10
  Speaker 11: me too?
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I understand that you're like experiencing this is a
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: great loss, but like you have to kind of flip
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: the script on this because it's a new beginning in
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: your life and even though it's not one that you
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: necessarily chose, you have it now. You have all this
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: opportunity for a whole new life and that's while that
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: can be daunting, it's super fucking exciting also, So like
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: you just want to change the way that you're talking
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: to yourself about this experience. This is this is this
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: can be the beginning of something very positive, and I
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: know that it is. Every breakup leads to some rebirth,
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: a new experience for people like no one. I mean,
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: it's very rare that you hold on to a breakup
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: for years and years and years. So I think let
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: go of the fact that it's been a year, and
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: let go of that time stamp in your head. It's
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: not that pertinent. What you want to do is really
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: a wake up and write down five things that are
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: going well for you in your life. Write down how
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: much you love your son. That you're grateful for your job,
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: that you're grateful you've got a promotion, that you're financially
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: secure and independent, that you have a beautiful house. Write
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: down all of these things so you remind yourself of
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: how lucky and fortunate you are. You're not sick, you're
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: not broke, you're not you know, you have friends, you
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: have family, you have wonderful things. You're just holding onto
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: the pain, and in order to release the pain, you
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: need to remind yourself of what's going well.
• 46:28
  Speaker 6: Great advice, and don't be afraid to cry.
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, don't yeah, lean out so you laugh, yeah yeah,
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: because you will start laughing.
• 46:36
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 46:37
  Speaker 11: Crying is just a removal of all beliefs and a
• 46:39
  Speaker 11: replacement of numans to create some new beliefs.
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: But just try to shake off that feeling of awkwardness.
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: When you feel that, like, try to let it loose,
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: like just like let go of that. That's the old
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: you that's somebody who's holding onto the past. So every
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: time you think of that, just think of that Taylor
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: Swift song. Shake it off, just like literally shake your
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: body and be like, no, that's not who I am anymore,
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean, And move through your life
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: with that energy and just start uplifting yourself, because really,
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: this is all you can ever do is be your
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: own best advocate. You can't rely on other people to
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: lift you up. You have to do it yourself.
• 47:17
  Speaker 6: Now, are you trying to get back out there dating
• 47:18
  Speaker 6: again or no? Not yet or what?
• 47:21
  Speaker 11: No?
• 47:21
  Speaker 12: No, not yet? I mean I have sort of gone
• 47:25
  Speaker 12: out and met a few people, but no, I've just
• 47:27
  Speaker 12: been trying to focus on my son, make sure he's
• 47:30
  Speaker 12: mentally okay.
• 47:32
  Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, focused on that.
• 47:33
  Speaker 11: If you decide you want to start dating other people,
• 47:36
  Speaker 11: let me know, because I know a few millionaire bitches
• 47:39
  Speaker 11: that's you know, popping in Australia.
• 47:43
  Speaker 12: You know, I'm not saying don't send them my wife.
• 47:46
  Speaker 6: There we go.
• 47:47
  Speaker 11: That's there because they know me while I was happy.
• 47:52
  Speaker 4: That's the spirit that they were.
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: But treat yourself with love and compassion. Okay, you are
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: your best advocate and your happiness is important for your
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: child happiness. So you got to just wake up every
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: day and try and find the gratitude in where you
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: are in this moment. And you're going to look back
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: at this time in another year or two, I promise,
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: and you're gonna be like, wow, that was really tough
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: and I got through that like a fucking champ.
• 48:15
  Speaker 12: Oh you guys are incredible. I'm s so much better already.
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: But what promised me that you'll wake up and write
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: down five things every day that you're grateful for.
• 48:24
  Speaker 12: Absolutely. I do love journaling, so.
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: Okay, great, So yeah, do that every day because that
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: just sets you up for success for your day. And
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: when you get off track and you get sad it,
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: do the same thing. Write it down again, write down
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: another five things. Just every time you start to feel
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: like you're not on your right path and that like
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: spirit of like shaking it off and lifting up, then
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: just remind yourself that you're healthy, you're strong, you're vibrant,
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: you have a son, like things are going well.
• 48:52
  Speaker 6: You winning?
• 48:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah all right, myles, let us know what you sign
• 48:56
  Speaker 3: up for, what you start doing, what you start enjoying
• 48:58
  Speaker 3: that you didn't think you would enjoy.
• 49:00
  Speaker 12: Yeah, let's see. Let's see, I'm looking forward to meeting
• 49:03
  Speaker 12: those millionaire baches.
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: We'll send you a direction link to Tiffany's website.
• 49:08
  Speaker 6: I got got you.
• 49:10
  Speaker 11: I'm for it, all your information information to know you,
• 49:14
  Speaker 11: I'm gonna get you.
• 49:15
  Speaker 6: You know what, I'm gonna just tell you what. I
• 49:16
  Speaker 6: be hanging out.
• 49:22
  Speaker 12: So lovely to make you guys.
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: Thanks Miles, Thanks Miles, sending you lots of love.
• 49:28
  Speaker 12: Na, thank you.
• 49:30
  Speaker 4: Oh sweetie.
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: It breaks my heart when people's hearts are broken, I know.
• 49:35
  Speaker 3: And she's really only like three months out of the
• 49:37
  Speaker 3: chaos part of it, so it's interesting that she says, like,
• 49:40
  Speaker 3: now it just feels like there's nothing because there is
• 49:42
  Speaker 3: some Like it's so stimulating to me in the chaos,
• 49:45
  Speaker 3: even though.
• 49:46
  Speaker 4: It's like bad. Yeah, yeah, that's interesting.
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: It's like when you realize after a breakup there's a
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: drama that comes with the breakup, right, and then when
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: that goes away, it's almost like, well, now there's no one,
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: you know, like even in the aftermath of the breakup,
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: there's a there's a possibility of reconciliation, or there's drama
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: attached that keeps the engine going.
• 50:07
  Speaker 11: I don't have that much drama after my breakups just
• 50:10
  Speaker 11: because I disappeared.
• 50:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they had to like live together for like nine
• 50:13
  Speaker 3: months after.
• 50:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that would be that's messy.
• 50:16
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I disappear. You know, I'm a foster kid.
• 50:19
  Speaker 11: I know how to evacuate the premises quickly and never
• 50:22
  Speaker 11: show up again. I know how to do that. I
• 50:25
  Speaker 11: hate that I do that. I hate that I do that,
• 50:27
  Speaker 11: But I do that.
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: Well, why do you hate that? You do it?
• 50:31
  Speaker 11: Because I know that the other person wants to say
• 50:34
  Speaker 11: more and do more, but it's like there's nothing else
• 50:36
  Speaker 11: that could be said. There's nothing and I would love
• 50:39
  Speaker 11: to be that ear for them to like pour their
• 50:41
  Speaker 11: little heart out into. So they're not talking about me
• 50:45
  Speaker 11: all over the world, but they gonna talk about me anyway,
• 50:47
  Speaker 11: So just let it go.
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, sometimes you're Yeah, sometimes there's just too many conversations
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: around the breakup.
• 50:53
  Speaker 11: Right, And I don't even want to have them when
• 50:55
  Speaker 11: I broke up with you know, a few people the
• 50:57
  Speaker 11: last like I would say, the last four relationships I had.
• 51:00
  Speaker 11: I think they thought I was gonna be like, why
• 51:02
  Speaker 11: you don't want to we kept work on this. I'm like, uh,
• 51:06
  Speaker 11: this seems like you want this to be over okay, cool,
• 51:09
  Speaker 11: let's okay, you got your way.
• 51:11
  Speaker 6: I'm gonna go mind and get my little defel bag. Bye.
• 51:15
  Speaker 6: And they're like, wait, that's it, that's it, were done.
• 51:20
  Speaker 12: Bye.
• 51:22
  Speaker 11: See you're around. I'm always smiling. I always say hello
• 51:24
  Speaker 11: when I see you.
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you actually you're right, you're I mean,
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: obviously you're right because it's your life. But you aren't
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: dramatic with breakups. Yeah, it's much better when it's not dramatic.
• 51:34
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's much more assault like.
• 51:37
  Speaker 11: It's better because they'd be like, you never really loved me.
• 51:41
  Speaker 11: I'm like, but a man, you didn't fight for me.
• 51:44
  Speaker 11: I'm not fighting. I'm not fighting for no man. There's
• 51:46
  Speaker 11: too many of y'all out here.
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: I was looking up the definition the difference between suppress
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: and repress earlier because I always get confused by those
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: two words, which one is conscious. Suppress is consciously when
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: you consciously suppressed it, and repress is uncon I just
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: thought i'd throw that out there in relation to what
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 52:11
  Speaker 9: And breakups.
• 52:16
  Speaker 3: Well, our next question comes from Olivia and she says,
• 52:18
  Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea, I never pictured myself writing into a podcast
• 52:21
  Speaker 3: for advice on how to navigate men in the dating world.
• 52:24
  Speaker 4: But here we are.
• 52:25
  Speaker 3: I'm turning thirty five in May, and I have been
• 52:27
  Speaker 3: seriously single for about six years. I have a good job,
• 52:29
  Speaker 3: hobbies like camping and film photography, a dog, solived friendships,
• 52:33
  Speaker 3: and a wonderful relationship with my family. I have my
• 52:36
  Speaker 3: own radio show once a week on one of the
• 52:38
  Speaker 3: local community stations here where I play tunes and chat music.
• 52:41
  Speaker 3: I feel I have a lot to offer in a partnership,
• 52:43
  Speaker 3: and that's exactly what I'm seeking a partner. I moved
• 52:46
  Speaker 3: out to California on my own four years ago, and
• 52:48
  Speaker 3: now I want someone to explore with. I'm on several
• 52:50
  Speaker 3: dating apps, have been for a long time, and also
• 52:53
  Speaker 3: try my hardest to put myself out there in the wild.
• 52:55
  Speaker 3: But it seems, whether via an app or in person,
• 52:57
  Speaker 3: there's no follow through from the guys, and they just
• 53:00
  Speaker 3: seem lackluster about dating in general. Yeah, if and when
• 53:03
  Speaker 3: I get a match, there is barely any follow through
• 53:05
  Speaker 3: from them about wanting to get to know me or
• 53:07
  Speaker 3: meet in person. It's beyond discouraging. I'm almost to the
• 53:10
  Speaker 3: point where I've decided that my life might be better
• 53:12
  Speaker 3: off without a man. I've enjoyed a lot of these
• 53:14
  Speaker 3: last six years with just my dog. We have a
• 53:16
  Speaker 3: peaceful existence and do as we please. Deep down, as
• 53:18
  Speaker 3: much as I tell myself it doesn't matter. In the end,
• 53:20
  Speaker 3: I want a partner. How do I keep putting in
• 53:22
  Speaker 3: the effort when it feels totally unreciprocated by the opposite sex?
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: Olivia, Hi, Olivia, Hello, This is Tiffany Hottish, our special guest.
• 53:32
  Speaker 6: Hi girl, Hey, Hi, Hi.
• 53:36
  Speaker 9: The good news is you're not alone.
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: Many women are feeling this way, and I do think
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: the apps and the social media aspect of everything has diminished.
• 53:44
  Speaker 11: It's too many prositutes out here. Most of these women
• 53:47
  Speaker 11: is prostitutes. Now they're making me so easy.
• 53:49
  Speaker 6: No, this is real talk.
• 53:49
  Speaker 11: I don't talk about fifty two dudes over the last
• 53:51
  Speaker 11: seventeen days, and they all said, it's just really easy
• 53:54
  Speaker 11: to just get us hundred dollars, and you can get
• 53:58
  Speaker 11: a bed a beautiful woman for two hundred dollars and
• 54:00
  Speaker 11: should do nasty things to you and go away.
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but you would do nasty things to somebody for free.
• 54:05
  Speaker 6: So yeah, but it's gonna take them a year for
• 54:07
  Speaker 6: me to do.
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I would just say, you're open. You've put
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: yourself out there, so that's like all you can really do.
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: You and you you seem like a go getter. You've
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: moved to California on your own, you have your own
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: radio show, you have all these things going on for you.
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: Like I would really just invest in yourself and just
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: know that when the person comes along, they're going to
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: come along, and you're gonna be ready for them, you
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: know what I mean. Enjoy your time without the expectation
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: of meeting the guy.
• 54:35
  Speaker 9: And it's a guy you're looking for, not a woman.
• 54:37
  Speaker 8: Yeah, right, I wish it was.
• 54:39
  Speaker 9: I know it would be so much easier.
• 54:42
  Speaker 8: I feel like it'd be so much easier. Yeah. And
• 54:44
  Speaker 8: in fact, I'm back in Connecticut visiting my family right now,
• 54:47
  Speaker 8: and I kind of told them that I was going
• 54:49
  Speaker 8: to be talking to you guys. And I fight. I
• 54:53
  Speaker 8: fight the I feel like oftentimes women are fighting the
• 54:56
  Speaker 8: tide of like societal pressure, you know. When I talk
• 54:59
  Speaker 8: to Catherine pre interview, I've been happy, like the last
• 55:03
  Speaker 8: six years, right doing my thing, moving to California, but
• 55:06
  Speaker 8: I do sometimes find myself camping around adventures, saying like
• 55:12
  Speaker 8: it would be nice to have someone sitting here with me,
• 55:14
  Speaker 8: like drinking a glass of wine, or jumping in this
• 55:17
  Speaker 8: lake or sleeping in a tent.
• 55:19
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 55:19
  Speaker 8: So I'm very confident and fine traveling alone.
• 55:24
  Speaker 11: You know.
• 55:24
  Speaker 8: I went to Italy for a month last year by myself,
• 55:27
  Speaker 8: always just these lit Did you.
• 55:28
  Speaker 6: Meet some guys there? And I say they horny Italy?
• 55:31
  Speaker 12: Yeah?
• 55:31
  Speaker 8: Girl, no what I know? And so oh I got.
• 55:36
  Speaker 11: To say, you gotta come hang out with me. I
• 55:37
  Speaker 11: gotta see what you're doing in these streets.
• 55:40
  Speaker 9: You think you can help her?
• 55:41
  Speaker 8: Just think so, sitting on the Spanish steps in Rome,
• 55:44
  Speaker 8: saying it'd be nice to like have a glass of
• 55:46
  Speaker 8: wine with someone. I'm loving traveling alone, but there are
• 55:49
  Speaker 8: moments where I say to myself, it really would be
• 55:52
  Speaker 8: nice to I think men too, I find between the
• 55:55
  Speaker 8: ages of thirty five and thirty nine, think that have
• 55:58
  Speaker 8: this like predisposition to think that women are looking for
• 56:00
  Speaker 8: ringing and I just want someone to adventure with, have
• 56:02
  Speaker 8: a good time, a committed partner in a way.
• 56:05
  Speaker 12: You know.
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah I like that, I do.
• 56:06
  Speaker 8: And yeah, it's just the last few experience I've had
• 56:09
  Speaker 8: have just been a total letdown.
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: So why don't you do this? Why don't you get
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: off this call and write down the twenty things that
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: you want in a man. Write down everything that you're
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: looking for. It doesn't matter if it's materialistic or superficial,
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: like the way they look. Whatever it is that comes
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: into your head, the really most important twenty things to you.
• 56:28
  Speaker 1: Write that down on a piece of paper, put it
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: in a drawer, and don't look at it again, and
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: go about your business and go about your life being
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: grateful that you don't have the wrong guy in your life,
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: or somebody who's draining you, or somebody you know what
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: I mean, that you're not in a toxic relationship, you're free,
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: you're independent, you have all this stuff going for you.
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: The fact that you went to Italy for a month
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: by yourself, that's badass. I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: go to Italy by myself for a month. I don't
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: even know how to find my way around, you know,
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: places like I So like you're crushing life, and any
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: guy that would get to be with you is a
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: huge addition.
• 57:01
  Speaker 9: It has to be a huge addition.
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: And so I don't doubt that you're going to meet
• 57:06
  Speaker 1: somebody that's going to fit the criteria. But I think
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: you need to really put it out there and put
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: it in your drawer and just leave it there and
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: you can continue on the apps or you cannot, but
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: really just enjoy the time that you have by yourself,
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: and because it won't be forever, there will be somebody
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: that comes along. There always is, whether it's your forever
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: person or just somebody for a few months, somebody will
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: come into your life.
• 57:30
  Speaker 8: I think I go back and forth about the apps
• 57:33
  Speaker 8: because they can become a really dark ye at a
• 57:36
  Speaker 8: dark place, and so that was also something I wanted
• 57:38
  Speaker 8: to pick your brain about the apps, because I know
• 57:41
  Speaker 8: I've heard you do your stand up and talk how
• 57:43
  Speaker 8: you dabbled in the apps. I think for like a bit,
• 57:46
  Speaker 8: and I'm at to the point now where I don't
• 57:49
  Speaker 8: want to pay for them anymore and I kind of
• 57:50
  Speaker 8: just want to delete them and maybe, like just as
• 57:52
  Speaker 8: you were saying, let the chips fall, kind of real
• 57:55
  Speaker 8: they will. I just feel like there's no success on there.
• 57:59
  Speaker 3: Are you ever asking somebody out when you like are
• 58:02
  Speaker 3: out in the wild and you feel a vibe with
• 58:04
  Speaker 3: like the cube race.
• 58:05
  Speaker 8: Or when I did that. I did that about a
• 58:08
  Speaker 8: month ago. I met a guy at a birthday party
• 58:10
  Speaker 8: and we hit it off. I was traveling, he was traveling.
• 58:13
  Speaker 8: We said, let's get in touch when we get back.
• 58:16
  Speaker 8: He got in touch with me. We went to a
• 58:17
  Speaker 8: little music festival up the coast. We had a great time,
• 58:21
  Speaker 8: invited him back down tour I was living. We didn't
• 58:25
  Speaker 8: have sex or anything. We hooked up. He in fact
• 58:27
  Speaker 8: said that he was trying to approach his relationships differently
• 58:31
  Speaker 8: and take things slow. So I thought, okay, these are
• 58:34
  Speaker 8: like green flags and as it goes and what I've
• 58:37
  Speaker 8: been experiencing the last last six years. The next morning,
• 58:41
  Speaker 8: he was saying how he could. He thought his summer
• 58:44
  Speaker 8: was going to be like his alone time and he
• 58:47
  Speaker 8: wasn't ready to like commit to anything yet, but that
• 58:49
  Speaker 8: we should stay in touch. And you know, I asked
• 58:52
  Speaker 8: him to hang out a few more. It was kind
• 58:56
  Speaker 8: of just like a ghosting thing, like I asked him
• 58:58
  Speaker 8: to hang out again. I told him my coming up
• 59:00
  Speaker 8: to San Francisco, and I just never heard from him.
• 59:02
  Speaker 6: Girl block that motherfucker.
• 59:04
  Speaker 1: Well, she doesn't have to block him because he's not
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: to connect with her.
• 59:08
  Speaker 8: Tiffany, what this guy still does is he'll like my
• 59:10
  Speaker 8: Instagram stories.
• 59:11
  Speaker 1: Okay, so this is, So are you listening. I hope
• 59:20
  Speaker 1: you are sending this episode, because honestly, I hate this
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: ship with this idea that a man like this is.
• 59:28
  Speaker 1: This is why they I know, but don't.
• 59:32
  Speaker 11: That's the hole, okay, And that's what he wanted to
• 59:34
  Speaker 11: be was a how did he eat your ask at
• 59:36
  Speaker 11: least like at the end of the day, like like,
• 59:43
  Speaker 11: and that's why you move on, move on if I
• 59:46
  Speaker 11: was you personally, Okay.
• 59:47
  Speaker 6: So I like Bumble. I don't know about y'all, but
• 59:49
  Speaker 6: I like going on. I like going on Bubble.
• 59:53
  Speaker 11: And what I've noticed is okay, So I'll go to
• 59:56
  Speaker 11: a new place, uh, and I'll like pick you know,
• 59:59
  Speaker 11: you could pick. Look, and so I look for guys
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 11: where I'm going to go, Like I'm going to Louisville,
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 11: Kentucky this week. So I look for guys on there
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 11: and their shock that is me. They're like, don't believe
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 11: it's me. And what I love about Bumble is you
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 11: can FaceTime with them through the app and they never
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 11: have your phone number, right, It's so hard I could tell.
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 11: And I tell them, Look, I'm not trying to have
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 11: no boyfriend. I'm not looking for nothing serious. I'm coming
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 11: to your town. I want to do something fun. I
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 11: want you to take me somewhere in your town that's fun.
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 11: You're gonna have to and it better be a good time.
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 11: And don't be smelling funny, don't be looking crazy. Don't
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 11: be there, because I will talk about you to your face, sir.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 11: Every single one's like, oh, Mary, challenge accepted, like and
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 11: they show up right and I just give them kind
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 11: of like a criteria of what they gotta do before
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 11: they even like, get in my space if you're trying
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 11: to be in my space, because I think men love challenges,
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 11: men love rules and and rules of engagement, and like,
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 11: oh can I push the boundaries with her? And then
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 11: and then I'll tell them by the end of the
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 11: day that like, hey man, this was super fun. Thanks
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 11: for taking me to this music. Thanks for showing me
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 11: a piece of your town. I don't ever want to
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 11: see you again. They'd be like, what, yeah, I'm cool
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 11: on you, bro, like this, but this was an amazing experience.
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 6: I had a good time.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 11: Then that guy is constantly sending me messages in Bumble
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 11: like can you hang out again?
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 6: Then he starts following me on.
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 11: Instagram like hey, it was really you, and I really
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 11: want to hang out look to check out this thing,
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 11: and then they're sending me facts about their town and ship
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 11: like and I appreciate it, but that that wasn't the
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 11: guy for me. But also girl farmers only dot com
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 11: if you it's some men with land that know.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 6: That understands cycles.
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 1: Instinct.
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 6: Yeah, but they understand available patient.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 11: You could tell them any motherfucking thing you let you
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 11: get away with it, like the guy from.
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 8: No. I don't know about success I have.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 11: I've had fun. I've had fun. I haven't had sex
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 11: with anybody on there. I don't have a boy friend
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 11: from there. But I've made some really great friends. I've
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 11: learned a lot about the land. I've learned a lot
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 11: about the vessels. And you know, as a business woman,
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 11: you know, I'm always like and I'm into food and stuff,
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 11: so I want to I only want to be around
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 11: people that's into what I'm into. Right, So I've been
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 11: learning so much. I done made some investments too land. Yeah,
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 11: in farmland, not necessarily a guy who I was dating Farmland,
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 11: but like in anyways, it doesn't matter. I made investments
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 11: meeting these guys, and I'm learning. I think I'm learning
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 11: a lot. Like at the end of the day, I'm
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 11: not going into it thinking of, oh, I'm gonna get
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 11: a husband. I'm going in like I want, like you said,
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 11: a partner. I want to grow with somebody. I want
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 11: to learn something. Can you teach me something? Like I
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 11: ask every guy, can what you're gonna teach me today?
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: Like I don't want to teach me something.
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 11: I'm like thirsty for knowledge, sir. Some of these women
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 11: out here thirsty for dick. I'm thirsty for knowledge.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: Another thing you can do is can you can geo
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: target where you live? You know what I mean? And
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 1: for Instagram and kind of slide into people's dms.
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 8: Oh interesting, you know.
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 1: What I mean, Like look at their profile. That kind
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 1: of gives you a nice full picture of what's happening
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 1: if they're married or if they have a girlfriend, or
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 1: you know what the situation is, and like look within
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 1: your area and just start like you know, browsing, use
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 1: that as a dating app.
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 6: That makes to yet a dmy You're.
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 1: Fully you know, you're you have no problem like approaching
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: a man. I mean, listen, you're my hero. From this call.
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 1: You're doing everything fucking right. So like I love it.
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 1: A lot of women don't have the balls to go
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 1: up and ask men like to go out.
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 8: You know.
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 1: I can even be shy around that myself, which doesn't
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 1: really make much sense.
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 9: Yeah, just because yeah, yeah, I don't know why.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: Just girl stuff. But I love what you're doing. I
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 1: love everything you're doing, and it's just like, enjoy yourself.
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 6: Are you afraid to date younger?
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 8: I'm not afraid to date younger, but I do I
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 8: feel like there should. I feel like my cap is
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 8: like twenty eight.
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 11: Because I noticed twenty six year old dude, he's six
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 11: foot two, very hands, he might be six foot fowhere.
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 1: Where do you live in California?
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 8: Santa Cruz, California.
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 6: Oh he's in LA.
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 8: Here's my thing. Like, even guys who are like the
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 8: immaturity just lasts for like so long. So my fear
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 8: with dating younger is like, yeah, I can't even get like.
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 11: But if they're a business man, there's younger business Like,
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 11: there's all souls out here.
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 6: They approached me all the time. There's some young bro
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 6: men out here.
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 8: I think one of my good qualities is that I
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 8: am open.
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 3: So Okay, this might not be your vibe, but just
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 3: hear me out. I think a lot of women who
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 3: are into a masculine guy need to start seeing about
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 3: dating transmen because you have like the personality you have,
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 3: like they were raised right.
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 4: And then you have all the masculine qualities of a man.
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: If this is the second time you've brought that up,
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 1: it feels like you want a data transfer. I mean,
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 1: and you're happily married, but you know, I mean, you
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 1: shouldn't really transmit out.
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 8: No, I'm not there's I'm not really like I said,
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 8: I'm very open. It's just the years keep rolling on.
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 9: You know, how old are you?
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 8: She's thirty, I'm thirty five.
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 9: I think you're probably going to meet somebody, you know.
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 1: I don't know that you're going to marry someone, but
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 1: you're definitely going to meet a couple more guys in
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 1: your life like that.
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 11: State sales, funerals. It's always vulnerable men at funerals.
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 6: I've met. I've dated a lot of men at.
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 11: From funerals, and they spoil you too because they trying
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 11: to feel better. Uh didn't I say it? Stay sales
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 11: auctions are usually good. There's a lot of good men here.
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 11: Grocery stores near gyms, a place to meet. Your grocery
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 11: store near the gym is the best place, not in
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 11: the gym, but ba.
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 1: So if you're in Santa Cruz, join a biking group
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 1: or join a hiking group or whatever, rock climbing, whatever,
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 1: you're in services and find some you know, find some
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 1: different kind of groups of people that way.
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 8: Yeah, joining groups, that's something. Yeah, I moved there. I've moved.
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 8: I've been in California for four years. I've been in
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 8: Santa Cruz for a little over a year, so still
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 8: kind of I've just now started feeling applimated.
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah. You so you're new to that area, So yeah,
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 1: give it a little bit more time.
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 9: I bet you're going to meet someone.
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 11: Yeah, you're pretty. You're gonna pull fast if you just
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 11: like I just gonna have fun. Ah, yes, she will
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 11: be mine.
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 8: This is a good story to tell. My girlfriends were like,
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 8: you got to tell this story. I met a gay
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 8: a dating app in San Francisco, and it very soon
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 8: into the day. I was like, oh, this is going
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 8: to be a good time, not a long time sort
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 8: of situation, which I was into because again just trying
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 8: to like make connections. We ended up being in Las Vegas,
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 8: at the same time for a concert, and he met
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 8: up with a bunch of my friends and I hadn't
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 8: gotten laid in a really long time, and they were like,
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 8: this is your night, like the guy from San Francisco's
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 8: in Las Vegas, like perfect, perfect, perfect. We go back
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 8: up to the hotel room. We're hooking up. Inches from penetration.
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 8: He tells me has an STD.
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 6: Oh hell, it's not the time.
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 1: At least he told you, I know, But at least
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 1: he told you what was the STD? What was the STD?
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 8: Herpes?
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 1: And was he having an outbreak or herpy outbreak or
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 1: he just.
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 8: He wasn't having an outbreak?
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 1: But oh well, that's very responsible.
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 8: But I wasn't an out But he didn't have a condom?
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 9: Right, yes, but he did the right thing.
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 6: I'm a jack you off.
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 1: But where is that guy now?
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 8: He's traveling the world somewhere.
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 1: Catching more stvs. So okay, well, okay, well, at least
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 1: he told you. So that's not the worst thing in
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 1: the world.
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 8: No, it's not. But between that interaction and the one
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 8: who keeps liking my Instagram stories, I just am like,
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 8: those are the latest interactions I've had with the male species.
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 1: My my Listen, there are a lot better than some
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 1: of the other stories that are out there. And my
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 1: advice to all women is to stop fucking looking to
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 1: check and see who is looking at your Instagram stories.
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 1: It doesn't matter. If that person wants to contact you,
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 1: there will, and it's not because they're looking through your
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 1: stories like it's like watching someone watching TV. It does
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 1: Does it matter who's looking through your Instagram stories? It
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 1: doesn't matter unless that person sends you a message about
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 1: your Instagram story and then you want to talk, and
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 1: then they're initiating a conversation. So I would just stop
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 1: looking at that.
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 8: You're very right. I think it's just this this kind
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 8: of like maddening, Like Okay, I never heard from him, right,
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 8: and he didn't text me back? Why is he liking
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 8: my story? Like get out of my life? So Tiffany's point,
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 8: I think I'm just gonna like remove him.
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 6: Yeah, mute is as black and black?
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 11: What he what he got to call you to be like, hey,
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 11: I can't see you on the stories more. Well, you're
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 11: not supposed to see me no more. You're a ghost
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 11: boom all right, keep us posted. Will you let us
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 11: know a few months if you meet someone.
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 6: What the vibe is.
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 8: Okay, I will do that, and I am gonna take
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 8: your advice.
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 11: I want to invitation to your baby shower and to
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 11: your wedding. I predict that in two years she will
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 11: be getting married. Okay, it will be very pregnant, and
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 11: I'll make sure invitation. Okay you want, okay, whatever, You're
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 11: gonna be pregnant if you might not have it, but
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 11: in two years, in two years, mark my word, In
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 11: two years, you're gonna be like dang, Tiffany said. I'm
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 11: not saying I'm psychic, but my instincts tell me in
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 11: two years, it's you're gonna be hemmed up. You're gonna
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 11: be cooking and cleaning and all this stuff and happy
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 11: as here.
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 8: Okay, I like that mindset. I'm gonna take your advice, though, Chelsea,
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 8: and write down, put it in a.
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 11: Drawer, write it down, help and right down. Tiffany said,
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 11: in two years, I'm gonna be in a relationship.
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 4: Recorded.
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 11: Yes, I want the invitation to the wedding and the
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 11: baby shower, because I know you say you're not you're
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 11: not thinking about having nobody's but you're gonna have a baby.
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 6: You're gonna have two of them.
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 11: We will come and we will be like the party.
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 1: Okay, thank you so much, take care of Thank you.
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 1: That was that was she was awesome.
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 9: She's great. That was great.
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 6: Guests.
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 1: Thank you you you're a great guest. Tiffany, I promise.
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 4: With your nonsense.
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 1: Her full name is Tiffany Sarah Cornelia Hattish.
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 9: Did you know that?
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 6: I knew that?
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 9: Did you?
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 6: Yeah?
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 1: And her new movie, Haunted Heist is on video on
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 1: Maya Baby Yea.
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 6: I love you, I love you.
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 3: If you want advice from Chelsea, right into Dear Chelsea
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 3: podcast at gmail dot com. Dear Chelsea is a production
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 3: of iHeartMedia. Follow Chelsea on all socials at Chelsea Handler
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 3: and find Katherine on TikTok at flash Cadabra. Dear Chelsea
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 3: is edited and engineered by Brandon Dickert executive producer Katherine Law.
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 3: Find full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix, and
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 3: get tickets to see Chelsea live at Chelseahandler dot com