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Things I wish I Knew About Success When I Came Out Of College with Jeffrey Gitomer · The Missing Secret Podcast

• 0:04
  Kelly Hatfield: We believe life is precious. This is it. We've got one shot at this. It's on us to live life to the fullest to maximize what we've been given and play the game of life at our full potential.
• 0:17
  John Mitchell: Are you living up to your potential? Are you frustrated that despite your best intentions, you just can't seem to make the changes needed to take things to the next level. So you can impact your career relationships and health.
• 0:31
  Kelly Hatfield: If this is hitting home, you're in the right place. Our mission is to open the door to the exceptional life by showing you how to play the game of life at a higher level. So you're playing at your full potential rather than at a fraction as most people do. We'll share the one thing that once we learned it, our lives were transformed. And once you learn it, watch what happens.
• 0:59
  John Mitchell: Welcome to the Think It Be It Podcast. I'm John Michell. And today we have a very special guest, the legendary Jeffrey Gitomer. Now, Jeffrey is in the Speaker's Hall of Fame, and is the king of sales, literally, the king of sales. He's really the foremost authority on sales in the United States. But beyond that, he has had a profound influence on my life when I was 41 years old. So before I share that story, though, Geoffrey, welcome. How are you doing?
• 1:37
  Jeffrey Gitomer: John? It's always nice when you set such low expectations for this year.
• 1:44
  John Mitchell: Wow, you, I know you're gonna blow us away today in probably so many ways. And maybe maybe the way to start is to, to review before
• 1:54
  Jeffrey Gitomer: We start, let's review the football score from last week when Eagles played the Cowboys, you know,
• 1:59
  John Mitchell: well, I have to edit that out and said Jeffrey, yeah, you know, yes, you won at home. That's a big deal. You gotta be playing banlist. And
• 2:09
  Jeffrey Gitomer: We tried to give you that game, and you wouldn't take it. You refuse to take it?
• 2:16
  John Mitchell: Well, we didn't. We didn't want to win at your place. So we were we were good house. And so we'll kick your ass in Dallas. So get ready. I'm ready. So I'm going to tell our audience how how you and I met, which, you know, amazes me even today. So when I was 41 years old, I was in Dallas, and and everybody that listen to this podcast, no, that was that I wasn't as successful as I wanted to be when I turned 50. And so the same was true at 41. And I had gotten turned on to Jeffrey, from reading the Dallas Business Journal. But he did a weekly sales column in all of the Business Journal's around the country, Bardsley. And I was always totally impressed with just how sharp he was not just math, sales, but about everything. And I thought, Man, I would love to buy an hour of his time. And so I contact him and find out he's going to be in Dallas, in a in a month or so. And so we arranged to to have lunch. And I write him a $500 check, which was the said in the 90s. That was a nice bit of change at the time. And so we meet for lunch, and he gives me an amazing pearl of wisdom. He says you need to turn your car into a mobile University. I hear that and I'm going wow, that makes a lot of sense. You know, partly from from well, from a lot of angles, the saving time standpoint, the consistency of it. And so after that, keep in mind listeners, there were no cell phones. There was no Spotify. You could if you didn't read it into paper, or on a CD or cassette tape, you di dn't get it.
• 4:16
  Right. Right. Well, and you know, so after the meeting, I'm like, Boy, that's a great idea. And so I proceed to try and do it. But ultimately don't do it. Because I was lying. Candidly, but when I turned 50 As I'm really trying to say grad how to change my life I remember that visit with Jeffrey and I'm like you know right there right there there's there's your problem right there a big part of your problem is that you're not growing intellectually and and Jeffrey gave you the answer but you you out of indebtedness didn't apply I, and to fast forward, I saw that the problem on my end was I needed to create a system for personal growth. And y'all tell the story real quick. I'm like, Okay, well, how do I do that and, and my wife, Ginger had given me a copy of Success Magazine. Back then it had each week, Darren Hardy would interview our each month with Darren Hardy would interview four people, each interview is about 15 minutes, and they'd have a CD in the in the magazine. So I bought it, I listened to the CD thought it was great, I ended up contacting Success Magazine in ordering, like literally 36 back issues, I get all the magazines, pull out the CDs, throw away the magazines, and I create a drawer in my office, and I throw all the CDs in there. And I committed myself to that I was going to every Monday morning for saying I was going to go into that drawer, I was going to close my eyes, I was going to pull out the two CDs that the universe that I needed that week. And then I'd march in my car, but march into my garage and put them in my CD player. And my commitment to myself was I was going to listen to them, both of them by the end of the week. And again, I'm I'm confirming this system in my daily visualization that I created from thinking Grow Rich, what what happened is after about six months, you know, I mean, I'm, I'm learning all sorts of stuff, you know, it's, it's all built around, you know, being successful as an entrepreneur. So I'm learning things about sales, about marketing about employee empowerment. And it got to the point where, you know, my team, when I had like, 175 employees, they'd be like, Where the hell are you getting these ideas? It's that idea a week. That's cool. And I told him, I said, you know, they're not my ideas. They're the ideas of brilliant people, I just, I become a conduit of learning. And it was so powerful, because that power was amplified by the fact that from my 12 minutes today, and application of thinking Grow Rich, I had amazing control over my life. So that is I got ideas, I had no trouble implementing them. And so and, and truly, this personal growth, commitment started with Jeffrey so you know, let me just publicly thank you.
• 7:47
  It's really my pleasure. The reason I'm able to give you that kind of advice is because it's what I did. Right? You know, I'm in the 70s. I'm listening to Denis Waitley. And all the people out of that genre, right? Whether they were comedian guys, or they were, you know, Zig Ziglar. It's, you know, the gamut of legendary people. And I listened to Glenn Turner, classic guy. But as the as the 70s progressed, I became a distributor for Nightingale Conant so that I could buy all this stuff for half price. Wow. And reselling it only just bought it for half price. So that was the that was the challenge. For me. I never went anywhere without a tape in the car.
• 8:36
  Right? You created yourself out of pure intention by learning correct wisdom of others. Correct. And
• 8:43
  Jeffrey Gitomer: If funny, when you were saying that I go, Well, that's what I did. You know, I realize how that whole thing came about. Right? I have always been a student once I dropped out of college, right, yeah, I get that. I get it because I didn't really care. You know, college was not compelling. And it's sad that many of the college professors, even at the highest level, have never had a job, right?
• 9:12
  John Mitchell: Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's academia.
• 9:16
  Jeffrey Gitomer: I just, I can't believe that. But for me, I didn't really care I wanted. You know, my father was a businessman. My grandfather was a businessman. My mother was a businesswoman. They all everyone in our family had their own business. That's what I wanted to do. Right. Right. That's how you make it. Well, and
• 9:37
  John Mitchell: You know, Jeffrey, I tell you this, this is so amazing. A success is no more complicated than what we're talking about. Because I see that, that, you know, you have to borrow from the wisdom of others. And the growth has to be consistent, and it has to be strategic relative to what you want to accomplish. Yes. How often today, you know, I talk to people and I ask, do you grow? 100% of them? Say they do. And then when you dig in, they say, Well, yeah, sure I listened to children haven't done that in a while. That's what they'll say, right? Well, yes. Well, though he did say that, or, or I listened to like Joe Rogan. And I'm like, That's not growth. That's Entertainment. You know, I don't know. It's just amazing that so few people really have a system for personal growth, because that's, that's where I, it took me what, nine years to figure out why I was so lame and couldn't implement your great advice. But it it ultimately I saw I had to create a system. And I've come to realize you got to have a system for everything. That's why I think it'd be it is, you know, everything's assist. But, but you know, today, I want to, here's the topic today, the things I wish I knew about success when I came out of college. And let me set this up a little why I came up with this. So as you know, I teach at the University of Texas, and I teach with the former Chancellor and President. And so he called me up last week, and he says, Listen, will you go to my class for my graduate students, for the MBAs and law students and, and oversee the class because he's, he was in, I think, Philadelphia for the Lincoln Financial board meeting. So I'm laying there for the Eagles game. I know what he was there.
• 11:36
  Well I know he wouldn't waste time on that. But so I go to the class. And keep in mind, these are MBA students and law students. And I'm looking at the class, there's, you know, and after the class are all coming up with questions and things, but they all want to be successful, but they're all clueless as to how to be successful. And so let me let me throw this when do you? What do you wish somebody had told you, when you were like 21 years old about the real world and being successful?
• 12:18
  I don't, maybe my situation was slightly different. But let me share with you what it was, okay. I grew up in a family where everyone owned their own business. So I just assumed that that's what was going to happen to me. Right? When my dad played pinnacle, every Thursday night, it was with three other business owners. And I would sneak downstairs and hide behind the wall. So I could listen to them play cards, and talk to each other. Yeah. All smoking cigarettes or cigars, you know, old drinking a beer or whatever, right? I mean, that's how life was in the 60s. Right? No, and I wasn't even driving a car yet. So I mean, for you know, I already had college education, sitting around a table, go into a party. When people came over for dinner, I already had that kind of understanding, right when I went to college, and I found out that it wasn't the same as my dad's discussion. I didn't have a compelling reason to stay. Right. So I worked. And I went to school. And I can remember clearly the day that I went into a finance class. And I asked my professor, what do you do when a guy bounces a $10,000? Check? And he said, we don't cover that here. Wow, I had to go. Why would I be there? And had that not be that real world? Sure. Sure. And literally, I had a guy named Mike McKenna teaching economics the guy that was the guns and butter guy. And that was kind of interesting. And my English composition class was kind of interesting. And my archery class is kind of interesting. And that's it. Right? That's it i i ended up buying two racehorses and went to the track literally every night for a year. So it was easy for me to drop out. I wouldn't do anything. Rise, make it move. I was already I was already making their money selling football poles for my bookie, literally selling homework, taking kids back and forth to school and charging him. So I already I always had money in my pocket. Right? Right. I always understood that it was my responsibility to put that money there. Most of the kids in college, get given money. Yeah. Most of the kids in college, especially a higher price school, are working for a living after class. They have an expectation. They have an entitlement. And I never did. Yeah, maybe that was my family. Listen, John, I, I can't explain it. But I just assumed that my dad was smart guy. I'm a smart guy, he's successful, I'll be successful. Yeah.
• 15:10
  Well, you you get the education of success through through your dad and the school of hard knocks? Yes. Well, you know, you know, here's, here's what I think that someone had told me when I graduated, is that your competition is not that sharp. I mean, and began, I say that, because when you look at people, and again, at 21, I had no clue about this, because the people around me, in school at the University of Texas, were all seem pretty sharp. But what I wish somebody had said, is, when you get out in the real world, first of all, the people you're competing against are not that organized on a scale of one to 10, they're probably a five or six. And, and they're not planning their day, the night before, they're not time blocking their day. So right off the bat, they're not organized. Then the second thing in this covers what we were talking about a minute ago, they're not growing, you probably heard this stat, Jeffrey, that 40% I think it's 40% of people who graduate from college never read another book after they graduate 40%. So, you know, your competition isn't growing. They're also not setting aside time to do something that everybody should do, which is just set aside time to think two times a week. This is something I know you and I share a belief in. But I'm like, how easy is this? I mean, this is a habit the top entrepreneurs in the world do, but very few people do it. So they're not thinking, stepping back and thinking. They're also not impacting their mindset, you know, 80% to 90% of people have a negative inner voice, wow, you're gonna put up with that. And also, they're not controlling their daily actions, 95% of which are unconscious. So the point of all that is, if you do if you fix those five things, you're at such an advantage over everybody else. And of course, that's what we teach and and think it be it, but I never would have realized how inept my competition was. And I had to learn that and I and I was inept. For my point too many years. Myself, I might add. Yeah, but I damn sure don't let anybody I teach be inept like that. Yeah,
• 17:50
  I didn't. I want to clarify something for your listeners. I didn't go to the school of hard knocks, I went to the School of bounced checks.
• 17:59
  And that the same thing,
• 18:01
  Jeffrey Gitomer: Kind of, because then you have to go collect them. Right? Yeah. Yeah. No, kid. No, kid. But But I will say this. And I've had this phrase for years, most people won't do the hard work that it takes to make success. Easy. Yeah, that's a great, yeah, great line. And that's it's gross for salespeople to most salespeople won't do the hard work it takes to make sales easy, right? For some people, sales is hard. But the work I did to prepare myself, that was the hard work, the sale bar was easy part. Right? There was execute. Right? When you
• 18:38
  John Mitchell: say the preparation will give us a feel for that.
• 18:43
  Jeffrey Gitomer: Okay. If I had a one hour presentation, I'll work for three hours to get ready. Right? I'm trying to get every kind of background I can. I'm going to call a couple of people that I know to find out what they know. Now I've got the the power of Google and their websites and all their social media platforms. Never had that when I was doing it. Yeah, I you know, I used to use like the Thomas register, or whatever else I could find. But the bottom line today is you don't get ready for your call. Something's drastically wrong. Yeah, you're watching Netflix and drinking a beer like an idiot. Right? And I love those guys, because I pass them all every day I pass those people. Right. But the real challenge, and this is a subtle secret, John, very subtle. If you don't love what you do, you're never going to get ready. Yeah, there's no there's no passion behind it. There's no desire, but you're going to escape by and do whatever you can maybe make a goal, maybe make the President's Club and think you're gonna have something to do with it. But you're not going to rise above the rest. Right? You're gonna stay in the pack.
• 19:52
  John Mitchell: Well, and you know, the other thing that I'd love your take on this. The thing that I came to realize really probably more in the last 10 or 15 years than any time before is that only 2% of people are driven most of them more success is merely a preference. I never would have thought that primarily because I was looking at it the world from my eyes, I was driven. But what's what's your take on that you
• 20:19
  Jeffrey Gitomer: Buy them, I'd always heard it was 4%. But we're in the same category, right, that most people are willing to settle. And most people have low aspirations for themselves, because they don't have a deep belief in themselves. Yeah, I learned early on when I was broke, and really needed money, that studying attitude was the way out of it. Right? Not getting a job, but rather having an opportunity and moving forward with that opportunity. And that your attitude and your belief system played such an amazing, major role in that process that I had to study attitude and dig into my own personal self confidence and belief in myself, you know, to be able to make that happen. I always had fun at it. Right? Right.
• 21:03
  John Mitchell: You know, tell that story about when you were, it was 1971. And you were in a Think and Grow Rich book club, tell that story. I
• 21:12
  was working for an MLM It was run by Glenn Turner, who was that that point known as the king of network marketing, right. And they didn't call it multi level, they call it network marketing, because multi level marketing people were illegal, they went to jail and all the other stuff, Glenn ended up going to jail. But every day, we read one chapter of thinking grow rich, and then did a book report on it. Five Guys in the in the in the club? Well, there's only 15 chapters. So every three weeks, we're done with the book, maybe you got to and went back to chapter one. And you do remember, you put into practice, you do the things that he was talking about that employee Hill talks about, regardless of the chapter. And some of them were phenomenal, as you know. But after a while you begin to live them. Repetition is the mother of mastery. And if you read thinking grow rich one time, you're doing yourself the biggest disservice on the planet. It's a 10 times read book, you should read it every three months. Right? And that way, you get the it's an old fashioned written book of the language is not the same as ours. But I can promise you the translations and the definitions are they're spot on the money. Still today. 85 years later, right? Right. So I recommend that that takes place. And I'll tell you what, there was one day in the middle of the studies. I'm walking down my steps from the living room to the basement where I had a pool table and a jukebox. And I said to myself, oh, oh, I got it. I understand my attitude. I understand myself. I can't explain it. It was just like one of these feelings that just comes over your whole body. And literally from that day on, I have been impenetrable. You can have everything in my life. You cannot have my attitude. And
• 23:20
  so it's it was at that moment that you knew you were going to be successful. Oh,
• 23:24
  Jeffrey Gitomer: Totally. I always thought about it. And literally I had successful businesses, but I struggled them. Yeah, once I once I got the attitude, the struggle went away. Right. It became a love. Not a work. Right.
• 23:40
  John Mitchell: Yeah. I can see that as a Yeah, it's interesting how, how you got to have a come to Jesus visit with your son. Yeah. I mean, you had that I had it at 50. And, you know, but attitude is everything. You know, what? Don't you think?
• 23:58
  Jeffrey Gitomer: Totally. Ah, let me share a secret with your listeners. Okay. If you're still blaming people for what you are not doing, you don't get it? Yeah. It took you 250 to take responsibility for yourself in your actions. I was lucky. I got it around for 26. But taking responsibility for the fact that if shit didn't turn out, well, that's my problem. Right? That's right. That's, you know, that's and the guy one of the guys who was teaching me referred to problems as temporary situations. And my dad, one day I came home from college, I'm slamming doors. My dad goes problem, son. I go. He goes anything 10 grand wouldn't you're like, No, I thought he'd give me 10 grand is not needed. Did not but think of think of you think if you're a listener right now to this podcast. Think of what 10th $1,000 would cure in your life, even 50 years later, right? 50 years later 10 grand, and maybe it's 20 but I guarantee you, there's a number that makes your problems go away.
• 25:14
  John Mitchell: Right? Right. Well, you know, I've I've come to realize that success is amazingly simple. Because, you know, nobody will argue with the concept that that your success in life as well as your enjoyment in life comes down to the thoughts that are going on in your head on on an ongoing basis. And through using proper system like thinking be it you can, you can create the thoughts that you should be having going through your head. But again, most people are going to do it. That's the beauty of being of success is so freakin easy. Because nobody else is going to do this stuff. Right? It's
• 25:56
  Jeffrey Gitomer: A very, very the best lane. The passing lane is always empty. Yeah.
• 26:05
  John Mitchell: In that beautiful though, because you know, most people Geoffrey are fine with the average life. I hated the average life. I'm like, all you losers, if they want to be there the average life, go enjoy. I'm not gonna be playing that game.
• 26:21
  Jeffrey Gitomer: Everybody in the world needs to read thinking Grow Rich, at least a half a dozen times, and then you'll understand what game you're playing. Right? Yeah. Right? Because Napoleon Hill throws the challenges at you, and says, okay, dude, what are you doing? Why are you thinking like that? Right? What's your What are your outcomes gonna be? Who are you associating with? What do you believe in? What's your level of faith? And I took faith to be not just religion, but faith in yourself and belief that other people will do their thing. Right
• 26:59
  John Mitchell: Away. You know, it all starts with belief in yourself. Yeah, you know, and this, this thing that so many people have this negative inner voice. I'm like, Man, why is hard enough with that shoe piling on you, you got to you got to be your own best friend. You got to you got to believe you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. Right. And Hill
• 27:20
  Jeffrey Gitomer: Was brilliant in that. In the beginning of the book he put desire. Yeah, right. What do you want? Why do you want it so bad? And if you can define that, you're gonna win. If you can't define that. You're gonna go home and watch Netflix and drink a beer? Yeah, that's
• 27:39
  John Mitchell: Right. Well, you know, it's interesting. You know, can I share with the audience why I think you're successful. I got a couple of observations. So in full disclosure, I went and saw Jeffrey, what, two or three weeks ago, so fun, he lives in Charlotte. And we got reconnected after, what, 30 years. And we hung out for a day and a half. And it was so fun. He has an amazing house, one of the coolest houses I've ever seen. It's a museum, we just had a ball, but I'm watching. And you're like, we go out to eat. And there is nobody that Jeffrey doesn't talk to, you know, he's talking to the maitre d at the restaurants we go, and then we're talking to the the waiters. And then, you know, later when he drops me off the airport, the baggage people, and he's in or he's engaging. He's just not just talking to him, he is engaged. And it's a great way to do life, I think because, you know, there's when you're dealing with Jeffrey, there's an exchange of energy, at least from his dad, it's it's very positive energy. And I think that that sort of goes back to what you said, Jeffrey, about loving life and loving what you do. I mean, you love being youth.
• 29:05
  Unknown: You know, the funny part is, I don't think of it as an energy exchange, I just think of it as an information exchange, or an idea exchange, and not really fully realizing that it's energy as well. Right. So thanks for pointing that out. But I think that, that the secret of it is I make friends with people right away, right? And I am vulnerable enough to do that. I'm not like on guard like, Oh, why am I talking to this person? Who are they? It's opposite from ours raised because you don't talk to strangers, you make no eye contact with anybody. And you know, growing up in a big city that basically those are the rules, but I found that when I violated them, nothing happened. Then only the only things that happened, were good. I kept violating the rules. Well,
• 29:53
  John Mitchell: And you know, the other thing that I found interesting with you is, is you would always live Lead with a question. You weren't telling people stuff you were leading by making them think, which is a powerful concept if you want to influence people is lead with a question.
• 30:12
  Jeffrey Gitomer: And I don't let people give me bullshit answers. Right? Right. So if I asked the Skycap at the airport, how's it going? Oh, it's fine. I go, That's bullshit. What's really going on? Right? Yeah. All right. Well, the airports taken away our tips, and they're taken away to do that. And they get through this whole diatribe of what they're doing. Right. But sometimes you have to ask the same question twice, and call bullshit in the middle. Right?
• 30:37
  John Mitchell: Well, you know, I tell you, I know exactly what you mean. Let me share something that happened to me last week that I'd love your take on it. So I have a potential client found in me that wants to learn, think it be it. And so we're, I'm, I'm sort of interviewing or to see if she's a good fit. And she, I say, Well, you know, what percentage of your potential Do you do you think you're playing the game of life had today? And she goes, 25%? I'm like, Okay, why do you think that is? And so she muddled through, it doesn't really know, I say to her? Well, let me tell you why. It's obvious to me. I mean, 95% of your daily actions are unconscious. And the significance of that is that if your daily actions determine your success in life, and 95% are unconscious, and you're not controlling those unconscious daily actions, of course, you're playing at 25% of your potential. I mean, it's pure math is simple, it's easy. And so she hears all that, and then we continue our discussion. And literally, probably 10 or 15 minutes later in the discussion, I go, so why are you playing at 25% of your potential? Which she doesn't know. And I'm like, okay, so Whose fault is this? Is it mine? Or hers? And I came away with a, it's mine. Because I told her the answer, I didn't make her discover the answer, like you probably would have. I told her the answer. And like, if I had to do that over again, I would have made her discover through questions that are daily aces determine her success in each area of her life. And then, you know, I would let her down that road of discovering that 95% of her daily actions are unconscious. And so at the end of the day, in terms of accepting her as a client, I'm not so sure she is a good fit. But But I also am factoring in that I just do a poor job of, of making her realize it. So I'm undecided. What's your take on all that? I
• 33:01
  Jeffrey Gitomer: Would take her in, because she's already admitted that she said 25% of capacity. Right? Then I would start out by saying, how do you think we can just get to 30%? Right, and not give her that whole long? Like, oh, I can never get to 100%. I'm only 25%. But I can probably get the 30%. Right. So what is going three things that you can do that will get you to 30%. And you write down those three things. And I'll write down three things of my own. And let's compare them. Yeah. She's making a plan for herself to get better. Right. And then I'll say, Well, have you ever thought about changing your morning routine? Yeah. What do you mean? Well, most people wake up pee, brush their teeth, get dressed, get a cup of coffee and go to work. Right. Okay, so that morning routine is one thing that I'm going to say, Well, what do you read at night? And you just think that might be able to help if you change television to a funny book or a nonfiction book. Right? What do you think what? Maybe it's only three nights a week. You can still piss off. You're there the other four nights a week? Yeah. And then then finally, I'm saying, okay, who's guiding you? What do you mean? Well, you know, who calls you up on the phone? Literally. I used to get a call from Todd Boyd, who was my mentor here speaking in Charlotte. And he would call me every single Sunday night. He had the voice of God and we go Greta mer, what are you gonna be doing this week? I'm like, and, and calling me out on what I was or wasn't doing. Right. And so you have those elements, your your morning routine is critical. What you read is critical, and who mentors you is critical. And if you can harness those things, 5% becomes 10% in a real short period of time, and they nap you can do it. So I would, I'd say, look, you're a project, but you're a project with opportunity. So I'm going to take the opportunity, if you will, I'll charge you my normal fee, even though I should be charging your fucking triple because you're gonna be a pain in the ass. I literally John, one time I had a client in St. Louis, I was fixing t shirt factories. And I quote, my fee is $5,000 For the week, this is 1975, maybe 76. And I said, but before I start, let me take a tour of the factory. It was the worst place I've ever been in, in my life. I came back in I said, Listen, my fees, not 5000 is 10,000. And I don't want this job. Because it's going to be the biggest fucking pain years on the planet. Right? And they hired me. And literally, I turned that place around in a weekend, all piles of garbage are gone. They had a whole production system that rearranged some way I did all by myself over a weekend. And they had like 60 employees. So they're all coming to work on Monday, like, Whoa, look at this place. So the challenge is, can you do what you say you're going to do? So if you're going to take on this woman has a coaching customer, you want to make sure you can give her the goods that will fix her. That's critical. Because he's got to come online say listen, John didn't didn't want to hire me. And then, so I begged them. And then here's what happened. Right?
• 36:27
  John Mitchell: Well, you know, I give them a money back guarantee. And so that's usually not a problem. But I'm also going to make sure they understand the transfer mortgage should transformation that's going to happen. And you know, like I told her, I said, you know, you're just winging life. That's all you're doing. You're just get up every morning. You're weighing in life doing the best she can. And that's a formula for an average life. I said, you know, where we're going is, is you're going to stop weighing in life, because we're going to create a morning routine where you're going to feed this a saint articulation of your life. Alright.
• 37:05
  I have an idea. Okay. Mrs. Jones, Mary, whatever your name is, every Friday night for a month, I want you to go to a wing place. And I want you to get a dozen wings, super hot ones. And I want you to eat them with beer. And then for the next month, every Friday night, I want you to go have steak. The best food money can buy with a glass of wine. So you understand the difference between drinking beer and eaten wasteland slob being a slob? Or going to a place where they have a tablecloth and a knife and fork. And people come and serve you and you elevate your own status. Yeah. That would be that would be transformation. Mentally. Yeah, right. I like it. Yeah. I think it's a good one. I think it's a good one. And, and they can see themselves that this is I don't want to live in a fucking wing bar. Yeah, you gotta hear smell like a wing.
• 38:06
  You don't want to smell like a wink.
• 38:09
  It's a perfect metaphor to the winging it.
• 38:12
  Yeah. Yeah. That is a, that's a good point. I like that. I like that. So what other pieces of wisdom about success come to mind, as we saw around this,
• 38:26
  Jeffrey Gitomer: The first one is the most important one. If you don't love it, get the hell out of there. Because it's gonna do you no good. Now, maybe when you graduate from college, you take a job because you have to, or you take a job for experience, even though you don't like it that well. But don't stay at it too long. Get the experience you need. Get the hell out of there. Make your list of a dozen things that you want to do it they're worried work for free, make that list. And if you can land a job at one of those places, you're already halfway up the ladder. Right? You're working where you want to be. Rally did perform?
• 39:04
  John Mitchell: Well, and he always goes back to that idea that only 2% of people considers that success a necessity as opposed to Yeah, a preference. So movement away from being a preference
• 39:17
  Jeffrey Gitomer: to people who buy lottery tickets. Yeah. Yeah, they all fall into the same category of fucking idiots. Right? And they'd rather piss away the money on a lottery ticket than to buy a book. Yeah.
• 39:31
  John Mitchell: All right. You know, I've never thought that something the state should promote is people to gamble because of people that are the least able to afford it or do it is the gambling. Exactly.
• 39:43
  Jeffrey Gitomer: I see people scratching numbers off of a of a card. Yeah, hoping that they hit the lotto. Like, seriously, that's what you have to do with your life. Like seriously?
• 39:53
  John Mitchell: Yeah, you know, I tell you, either the other day I went into 711 and I see a guy or two or get some cigarettes and a lottery ticket. I'm like, Okay. I already know about this guy's life. Not good. He's over. Yeah, he's and I think he had Twinkies as well. Oh, yeah. Well, there's something
• 40:14
  Jeffrey Gitomer: to be said for them. So let's not this up, bash them all at once. Well, you know, I
• 40:18
  John Mitchell: hear you I liken
• 40:19
  Jeffrey Gitomer: it to snowball things. I can't help it. I see him in the store. I go look at it. It's one package. Because when I was growing up in Philly, the Tasty Cakes, right? He's like heroin. And I'm like a butterscotch krimpet. Guy. And every once in a while, someone will literally send me a box of them in the mail. Because they know what I like.
• 40:39
  John Mitchell: Right? Right. Yeah, I hear you, I hear you. Well,
• 40:43
  Jeffrey Gitomer: I'll say that, you know, if you really want to be successful, you have to find something that's fun that you love that you want to dedicate your time to. Right? I mean, you know, you're not gonna marry somebody you don't like, you're gonna marry somebody you love. Same with your job, you got it, you're gonna marry it, you're gonna be there, eight hours, 10 hours a day for years. Find something you love, Babe and do that?
• 41:08
  John Mitchell: Well, and you know, I agree with that. And then I'd add on, do the modicum of things that most other people won't do, which is such as being organized, growing consistently, setting aside time to think, you know, all that stuff is really easy to do, but most people won't, won't do it. And I see that so many people today, live life has such a shallow existence, you know, which I think is promoted by social media that, you know, we're thinking shallow Lee, and they're just going through the motions, when you know, if you'll just grab a hold of your life and make it what you want. I mean, it's just not that hard.
• 41:50
  Jeffrey Gitomer: Let me read the fine, thank you for just a minute. People wake up and think, What do I have to do today? Where's my to do list. And so I would recommend people make two to do lists. One the shit that they got to do today, or the things that they promised somebody else that they would do make the longest list you possibly can, before you go to bed at night. That's the first list, set it aside. Second list, things you really want to do. Whether it's go to Paris, or get a new car, or go fishing on the weekend, whatever it is that you want to do, make that list, but make it second. So that your mind your your brain when you're sleeping will focus on the last thing you did. And it will be the most fun thing that you did. And you'll sleep better. And you'll wake up and you have to worry about what you're going to do your you got a written down, right. I like that. Yeah, I think you should voiced I have been doing it for years and years, I make a list of everything I got to do. And I'm I'm at peace, right. And sometimes I will have forgotten something in the list. And I'll pick up my phone and voice to text myself and set it down. Not to worry about it, not to think about it not to do anything. I have already recorded it down on some kind of data thing. And I'm done. It's a system. It is a system. And I'll tell you, I didn't think about it as the system until you and I met and talked about it. But my morning routine is my system. Yeah, right. And I non I never miss. I never miss, right? Because it's for me. I'm selfish. Attitude is selfish. Belief is selfish, or self confidence is selfish. But you end up if you if you don't have attitude, belief, self confidence. How are you going to help anybody else? Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, well, you're going to try to be a martyr. Like I gave you the best years of my life. Well, there were the best years wanting you to like, keep a couple for yourself.
• 43:56
  John Mitchell: Right? Those are your best. Are you kidding me? Man?
• 44:00
  Jeffrey Gitomer: I don't want to. I don't want to get into the definition of what some people define his best. But I do want to talk about being a martyr. Is it not a good place to be? Oh,
• 44:11
  John Mitchell: No kid, never be a victim.
• 44:13
  Unknown: Unbelievable. And many people are, right. Rather they play the victim card.
• 44:20
  John Mitchell: Well, and you know, one of the things I obviously teach is personal responsibility. And as you know, I went and saw the President at High Point University and, and they they teach life skills there. And you know, one of the things they teach is, is personal responsibility, which which more specifically means never being a victim owning your results. You don't like your results change your behaviors. But you know, one of the things I observed is that is it so many thought leaders will espouse things like that personal responsibility or, or having the attitude that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to? Well, you know, when I see that I'm like, that's basically useless, because all it's doing is impacting intention, unless you're grinding that into your subconscious mind through the daily repetition, which is what think it'd be it is, it does, you know, good, you've got to make it a part of your, your subconscious before it's going to actually show up in your life. And, and I see that's the biggest flaw in the personal development space is that all people are doing is impacting intentions. They're not actually impacting who people become. And that's where I'm most proud of would think it'd be it.
• 45:43
  Unknown: I think, though, that just me personally, from what I've done myself over the years, if I don't intend to do something, it's less likely to get done, than if I put on a piece of paper. Right? Yeah, I want I want the intention to be there, that will lead to the actual action that will lead to the actual thing, assuming I'm not a procrastinator, assuming I'm not just a, you know, pie in the sky person. Right. I don't want to look at it and go, Well, that's going to be too hard. I'll skip that and do something else. Right. Right. I'm gonna do it no matter if my ass falls off. Yeah. But it's, it's not the goal, is the intention. Because if you have a written down goal, and you don't intend to do it, it's just not gonna get done. So read the minor
• 46:28
  John Mitchell: role. Well, Eric, everything starts with an intention. I mean, I mean, everything's got to be an attention at some point. But usually, that's where it starts and ends. Yeah. And so yeah, my boy, I'm with you. Why this is, this has been fun. We've had to do this again. And so any any final words for our audience? John,
• 46:50
  Unknown: I want to thank you for that check. That you gave me to do this episode. I totally appreciate it.
• 46:55
  John Mitchell: You haven't cashed it yet. Have you? No, no, no,
• 46:58
  Unknown: don't worry about it. That's good. I saved them. And I just wallpaper my walls with?
• 47:04
  John Mitchell: No, you'd be putting into practice that bounced check idea.
• 47:08
  Unknown: Yeah. But here's the deal. If you're a listener of this, there's no way we would exchange money for something like this. It's just not what friends do. Right. And like John said, Well, can you come on my bucket? Yeah, I love what we're going to talk about, how are we going to do it? That's how I look at it. Because I get to participate in a way where I know there's going to be ending impact. So intention, leads to impact. Intention leads to completion. And you have to complete in order to have anything. Be careful about how you complete because there's, there's a follow through. And you can't just complete and leave a mess. Yeah, made my bed but my closets a mess. And no, that worked. But you all the way through everything. And everything has to be in his order. And in its place. One of the things that you should follow, John Michell on is is systems, because he's got a system for everything. And there's a reason for it. And the read, there's a two word reason for systems. They work. And once you realize that, you have everything you need, I think, but more important than that, we have a very, very important game coming up in December, where my Eagles will play your piece of shit cowboys. And it's either we're gonna split out and buy a new barbecue in Charlotte, you're buying me barbecue in Dallas, or you're gonna own me to barbecues. Al,
• 48:37
  John Mitchell: you know, you may have to once you come to Texas for that game. Okay, that might be fun.
• 48:43
  Unknown: I don't know what it is. But if I'm not in Paris, I'll be in Texas.
• 48:48
  John Mitchell: Okay. Okay. Or the other alternative is we wait until they play playoffs in Philadelphia. Now you're talking. That might be even more fun. You can wear your Dallas gear so you can catch beer in midair. Yeah, I can't wait. Okay. Well Until next time, we'll see you.
• 49:11
  Kelly Hatfield: Thanks for listening today. If you've had your own aha moment from today's episode, send me or John an email. We'd love to share your epiphany with our audience. So email us at kelly@thinkitbeit.com or john@thinkitbeit.com. In the meantime, live the exceptional life