Latest / The H. G. Wells Library / The New Machiavelli Chapter 13 Part 2
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Chapter thirteen, Section two of the New Machiavelli by H. G. Wells.
- 0:06Speaker 1: This LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by
- 0:10Speaker 1: Antonyogus five. But before things came to that pass, some
- 0:17Speaker 1: months and many phases, and a sudden journey to America intervened.
- 0:23Speaker 1: This thing spells disaster. I said, you are too big,
- 0:27Speaker 1: and I am too big to attempt this secrecy. Think
- 0:30Speaker 1: of the intolerable possibility of being found out at any cost.
- 0:35Speaker 1: We have to stop, even at the cost of parting,
- 0:39Speaker 1: just because we may be found out, Just because we
- 0:42Speaker 1: may be found out. Master, I shouldn't in the least
- 0:45Speaker 1: mind being found out with you. I'm afraid I'd be proud.
- 0:50Speaker 1: Wait till it happens. There followed a struggle of immense
- 0:55Speaker 1: insincerity between us. It is hard to tell who urged
- 0:59Speaker 1: and who resisted. She came to me one night, to
- 1:03Speaker 1: the editorial room of the Blue Weekly, and argued and
- 1:07Speaker 1: kissed me with wet salt lips, and wept in my arms.
- 1:11Speaker 1: She told me that now passionate longing for me and
- 1:14Speaker 1: my intimate life possessed her so that she could not work,
- 1:19Speaker 1: could not think, could not endure other people for the
- 1:22Speaker 1: love of me, I fled absurdly. That is the secret
- 1:27Speaker 1: of the futile journey to America that puzzled all my friends.
- 1:32Speaker 1: I ran away from Isabel, I took hold of the
- 1:36Speaker 1: situation with all my strength, put in Britain with sketchy,
- 1:40Speaker 1: hasty instructions to edit the paper, and started headlong and
- 1:44Speaker 1: with luggage from which, among other things, my shaving things
- 1:48Speaker 1: were omitted upon a tour round the world. Preposterous flight
- 1:52Speaker 1: that was. I remember as a thing almost farcical, my
- 1:56Speaker 1: explanations to Margaret, and how frantic anxious I was to
- 2:01Speaker 1: prevent the remote possibility of her coming with me. And
- 2:05Speaker 1: how I crossed in the Tuscan a bad wet boat,
- 2:08Speaker 1: and mixed sea sickness with ungovernable sorrow. I wept tears.
- 2:14Speaker 1: It was inexpressibly queer and ridiculous, and good God, how
- 2:19Speaker 1: I hated my fellow passengers. New York inflamed and excited
- 2:25Speaker 1: me for a time, And when things slackened, I whirled
- 2:28Speaker 1: westward to Chicago, eating and drinking. I remember, in the
- 2:32Speaker 1: train from shoals of little dishes. With a sort of
- 2:35Speaker 1: desperate veracity, I did the queerest things to distract myself.
- 2:40Speaker 1: No novelist would dare to invent my mental and emotional muddle.
- 2:45Speaker 1: Chicago also held me at first amazing lapse from civilization
- 2:50Speaker 1: that the place is, and then abruptly with hosts expecting
- 2:54Speaker 1: me and everything settled. For some days in Denver, I
- 2:57Speaker 1: found myself at the end of my renunciations and turned
- 3:01Speaker 1: and came back headlong to London. Let me confess, it
- 3:06Speaker 1: wasn't any sense of perfect and incurable trust and confidence
- 3:10Speaker 1: that brought me back, or any idea that now I
- 3:13Speaker 1: had strength to refrain. It was a sudden realization that,
- 3:18Speaker 1: after all, the separation might succeed. Some careless phrasing in
- 3:23Speaker 1: one of her jealously read letters set that idea going
- 3:26Speaker 1: in my mind. The haunting perception that I might return
- 3:31Speaker 1: to London and find it empty of the Isabelle who
- 3:34Speaker 1: had pervaded it, honor, discretion, the careers of both of
- 3:38Speaker 1: us became nothing at the thought. I couldn't conceive my
- 3:43Speaker 1: life resuming there without isabel I couldn't, in short stand it.
- 3:49Speaker 1: I don't even excuse my return. It is inexcusable. I
- 3:53Speaker 1: ought to have kept upon my way westward and held
- 3:56Speaker 1: out I couldn't I wanted Isabel. I wanted her so
- 4:01Speaker 1: badly now that everything else in the world was phantom
- 4:04Speaker 1: like until that want was satisfied. Perhaps you have never
- 4:08Speaker 1: wanted anything like that. I went straight to her. But
- 4:13Speaker 1: here I come to untellable things. There is no describing
- 4:18Speaker 1: the reality of love. The shapes of things are nothing.
- 4:22Speaker 1: The actual happenings are nothing, except that somehow there falls
- 4:26Speaker 1: a light upon them, and a wonder of how we met,
- 4:30Speaker 1: and the thrill of the adventure, the curious, bright sense
- 4:33Speaker 1: of defiance, the joy of having dared. I can't tell.
- 4:38Speaker 1: I can but hint of just one aspect of what
- 4:41Speaker 1: an amazing lark. It's the only word it seemed to us.
- 4:46Speaker 1: The beauty which was the essence of it, which justifies
- 4:49Speaker 1: it so far as it will bear justification elude statement.
- 4:56Speaker 1: What can a record of contrived meetings, of sundering, de
- 5:00Speaker 1: difficulties evaded and overcome signify here? Or what can it
- 5:05Speaker 1: convey to say that one looked deep into two dear,
- 5:08Speaker 1: steadfast eyes, or fell to heart, throb and beat, or
- 5:13Speaker 1: gripped soft hair softly in a trembling hand, robbed of
- 5:18Speaker 1: encompassing love. These things are of no more value than
- 5:22Speaker 1: the taste of good wine, or the sight of good pictures,
- 5:25Speaker 1: or the hearing of music, just sensuality and no more.
- 5:30Speaker 1: No one can tell love. We can only tell the
- 5:32Speaker 1: gross facts of love and its consequences. Given love, given mutuality,
- 5:39Speaker 1: and one has affected a supreme synthesis and come to
- 5:42Speaker 1: a new level of life. But only those who know
- 5:46Speaker 1: can know. This business has brought me more bitterness and
- 5:50Speaker 1: sorrow than I had ever expected to bear. But even
- 5:53Speaker 1: now I will not say that I regret that wilful homecoming. Altogether,
- 5:58Speaker 1: we loved to the uttermost. Neither of us could have
- 6:02Speaker 1: loved any one else as we did and do love
- 6:05Speaker 1: one another. It was ours that beauty. It existed only
- 6:09Speaker 1: between us when we were close together, for no one
- 6:13Speaker 1: in the world ever to know, save ourselves. My return
- 6:17Speaker 1: to the office sticks out in my memory with an
- 6:20Speaker 1: extreme vividness because of the wild eagle of pride that
- 6:24Speaker 1: screamed within me. It was Tuesday morning, and though not
- 6:29Speaker 1: a soul in London knew of it yet except Isabelle.
- 6:32Speaker 1: I had been back in England a week. I came
- 6:35Speaker 1: in upon Britain and stood in the doorway. God, he said,
- 6:39Speaker 1: at the sight of me. I'm back, I said. He
- 6:43Speaker 1: looked at my excited face with those red brown eyes
- 6:46Speaker 1: of his. Silently, I defied him to speak his mind.
- 6:51Speaker 1: Where did you turn back? He said? At last six
- 6:58Speaker 1: I had to tell what were so far as I
- 7:01Speaker 1: can remember my first positive lies to Margaret in explaining
- 7:06Speaker 1: that return. I had written to her from Chicago and
- 7:10Speaker 1: again from New York, saying that I felt I ought
- 7:13Speaker 1: to be on the spot in England for the new session,
- 7:16Speaker 1: and that I was coming back presently. I concealed the
- 7:20Speaker 1: name of my boat from her and made a calculated prevarication.
- 7:25Speaker 1: When I announced my presence in London, I telephoned before
- 7:29Speaker 1: I went back for my rooms to be prepared. She was,
- 7:33Speaker 1: I knew, with the bunting harblows in Durham, and when
- 7:36Speaker 1: she came back to Radnor Square, I had been at
- 7:39Speaker 1: home a day. I remember her return so well. My
- 7:45Speaker 1: going away, and the vivid secret of the present had
- 7:48Speaker 1: wiped out from my mind much of our long estrangement.
- 7:53Speaker 1: Something too had changed in her. I had had some
- 7:57Speaker 1: hint of it in her letters, but now I saw
- 8:00Speaker 1: it plainly. I came out of my study upon the
- 8:03Speaker 1: landing when I heard the turmoil of her arrival below,
- 8:07Speaker 1: and she came upstairs with a quickened gladness. It was
- 8:12Speaker 1: a cold march, and she was dressed in unfamiliar dark
- 8:15Speaker 1: furs that suited her extremely and reinforced the delicate flush
- 8:20Speaker 1: of her sweet face. She held out both her hands
- 8:24Speaker 1: to me and drew me to her unhesitatingly, and kissed me.
- 8:29Speaker 1: So glad you are back, dear, she said, Oh, so
- 8:33Speaker 1: very glad you are back. I returned her kiss with
- 8:37Speaker 1: a queer feeling at my heart, too undifferentiated to be
- 8:42Speaker 1: even a definite sense of guilt or meanness. I think
- 8:45Speaker 1: it was chiefly amazement at the universe and myself. I
- 8:51Speaker 1: never knew what it was to be away from you,
- 8:53Speaker 1: she said. I perceived suddenly that she had resolved to
- 8:57Speaker 1: end our estrangement. She put herself so that my arm
- 9:01Speaker 1: came caressingly about her. These are jolly furs, I said,
- 9:07Speaker 1: I got them for you. The parlor maid appeared below,
- 9:11Speaker 1: dealing with the maid and the luggage cab. Tell me
- 9:15Speaker 1: all about America, said Margaret, I feel as though you've
- 9:19Speaker 1: been away six years. We went arm in arm into
- 9:23Speaker 1: our little sitting room, and I took off the furs
- 9:26Speaker 1: for her and sat down upon the chintz covered sofa
- 9:29Speaker 1: by the fire. She had ordered tea and came and
- 9:33Speaker 1: sat by me. I don't know what I had expected,
- 9:37Speaker 1: but of all things, I had certainly not expected this
- 9:40Speaker 1: sudden abolition of our distances. I want to know all
- 9:44Speaker 1: about America, she repeated, with her eyes scrutinizing me. Why
- 9:49Speaker 1: did you come back? I repeated the substance of my
- 9:53Speaker 1: letters rather lamely, and she sat listening. But why did
- 9:58Speaker 1: you turn back without going to Denver? I wanted to
- 10:02Speaker 1: come back. I was restless, restlessness, she said, And thought
- 10:08Speaker 1: you were restless in Venice. You said it was restlessness
- 10:12Speaker 1: took you to America. Again, she studied me. She turned
- 10:17Speaker 1: a little awkwardly to her tea things and poured needless
- 10:21Speaker 1: water from the silver kettle into the teapot. Then she
- 10:26Speaker 1: sat still for some moments, looking at the equipage with
- 10:29Speaker 1: expressionless eyes. I saw her hand upon the edge of
- 10:34Speaker 1: the table tremble slightly. I watched her closely. A vague
- 10:39Speaker 1: uneasiness possessed me. What might she not know or guess?
- 10:46Speaker 1: She spoke at last, with an effort, I wish you
- 10:49Speaker 1: were in parliament. Again, she said. Life doesn't give you
- 10:53Speaker 1: events enough. If I was in parliament again, I should
- 10:58Speaker 1: be on the conservative side. I know, she said, and
- 11:02Speaker 1: was still more thoughtful. Lately, she began, and paused, lately,
- 11:09Speaker 1: I've been reading you. I didn't help her out with
- 11:14Speaker 1: what she had to say. I waited. I didn't understand
- 11:18Speaker 1: what you're after. I had misjudged. I didn't know. I
- 11:24Speaker 1: think perhaps I was rather stupid. Her eyes were suddenly
- 11:28Speaker 1: shining with tears. You didn't give me much chance to understand.
- 11:34Speaker 1: She turned upon me suddenly, with a voice full of tears. Husband,
- 11:38Speaker 1: she said, abruptly, holding her two hands out to me,
- 11:42Speaker 1: I want to begin over again. I took her hands,
- 11:46Speaker 1: perplexed beyond measure, my dear, I said, I want to
- 11:51Speaker 1: begin over again. I bowed my head to hide my face,
- 11:57Speaker 1: and found her hand in mine and kissed it. Ah,
- 12:02Speaker 1: she said, and slowly withdrew her hand. She leant forward,
- 12:07Speaker 1: with her arm on the sofa back, and looked very
- 12:09Speaker 1: intently into my face. I felt the most damnable scoundrel
- 12:14Speaker 1: in the world. As I returned her gaze, the thought
- 12:19Speaker 1: of Isabel's darkly shining eyes seemed like a physical presence.
- 12:23Speaker 1: Between us. Tell me, I said, presently, to break the
- 12:28Speaker 1: intolerable tension. Tell me plainly what you mean by this.
- 12:34Speaker 1: I sat a little away from her, and then took
- 12:37Speaker 1: my tea cup in hand, with an odd effect of
- 12:39Speaker 1: defending myself. Have you been reading that old book of mine?
- 12:44Speaker 1: I asked that in the paper I took a complete
- 12:48Speaker 1: set from the beginning down to Durham with me. I
- 12:51Speaker 1: have read it, over, thought it over. I didn't understand
- 12:56Speaker 1: what you were teaching. There was a little pause. It
- 13:01Speaker 1: all seems so plain to me now, she said, and
- 13:04Speaker 1: so true. I was profoundly disconcerted. I put down my teacup,
- 13:12Speaker 1: stood up in the middle of the hearth rug and
- 13:15Speaker 1: began talking. I'm tremendously glad Margaret, that you've come to see.
- 13:20Speaker 1: I'm not altogether perverse, I began. I launched out into
- 13:25Speaker 1: a rather trite and windy exposition of my views, and
- 13:30Speaker 1: she sat close to me on the sofa, looking up
- 13:33Speaker 1: into my face, hanging on my words, a deliberate and
- 13:37Speaker 1: invincible convert. Yes, she said, yes, I had never doubted
- 13:44Speaker 1: my new conceptions before. Now I doubted them profoundly. But
- 13:49Speaker 1: I went on talking. It's the grim irony in the
- 13:54Speaker 1: lives of all politicians, writers, public teachers, that once the
- 13:59Speaker 1: audience is at their feet, a new loyalty has gripped them.
- 14:04Speaker 1: It isn't their business to admit doubt and imperfections. They
- 14:08Speaker 1: have to go on talking. And I was now so
- 14:11Speaker 1: accustomed to Isabel's vivid interruptions, qualifications, restatements, and confirmations. Margaret
- 14:21Speaker 1: and I dined together at home. She made me open
- 14:24Speaker 1: out my political projects to her. I have been foolish,
- 14:29Speaker 1: she said, I want to help, and by some excuse
- 14:34Speaker 1: I have forgotten. She made me come to her room.
- 14:38Speaker 1: I think it was some book. I had to take
- 14:40Speaker 1: her some American book I had brought back with me
- 14:43Speaker 1: and mentioned in our talk. I walked in with it
- 14:47Speaker 1: and put it down on the table and turned to
- 14:49Speaker 1: go husband. She cried and held out her slender arms
- 14:55Speaker 1: to me. I was compelled to go to her and
- 14:58Speaker 1: kiss her, and she twined them softly about my neck
- 15:02Speaker 1: and drew me to her and kissed me. I disentangled
- 15:07Speaker 1: them very gently and took each wrist and kissed it
- 15:11Speaker 1: and the backs of her hands. Good Night, I said.
- 15:16Speaker 1: There came a little pause. Good night, Margaret, I repeated,
- 15:22Speaker 1: and walked very deliberately and with a kind of sham
- 15:25Speaker 1: preoccupation to the door. I did not look at her,
- 15:29Speaker 1: but I could feel her standing watching me. If I
- 15:33Speaker 1: had looked up, she would, I knew, have held out
- 15:36Speaker 1: her arms to me. At the very outset that secret,
- 15:41Speaker 1: which was to touch no one but Isabel and myself
- 15:44Speaker 1: had reached out to stab another human being. Seven The
- 15:53Speaker 1: whole world had changed for Isabel and me, and we
- 15:56Speaker 1: tried to pretend that nothing had changed except a small
- 16:00Speaker 1: matter between us. We believed, quite honestly at that time,
- 16:05Speaker 1: that it was possible to keep this thing that had
- 16:07Speaker 1: happened from any reaction at all, save perhaps through some
- 16:11Speaker 1: magically enhanced vigor in our work upon the world about us.
- 16:16Speaker 1: Seen in retrospect, one can realize the absurdity of this belief.
- 16:21Speaker 1: Within a week I realized it. But that does not
- 16:24Speaker 1: alter the fact that we did believe as much, and
- 16:27Speaker 1: that people who are deeply in love and unable to
- 16:30Speaker 1: marry will continue to believe so to the very end
- 16:33Speaker 1: of time. They will continue to believe out of existence
- 16:37Speaker 1: every consideration that separates them until they have come together.
- 16:42Speaker 1: Then they will count the cost, as we too had
- 16:45Speaker 1: to do. I am telling a story and not propounding
- 16:50Speaker 1: theories in this book, and chiefly I am telling of
- 16:53Speaker 1: the ideas and influences and emotions that have happened to me,
- 16:57Speaker 1: me as a sort of sounding board for mine world.
- 17:01Speaker 1: The moralist is at liberty to go over my conduct
- 17:04Speaker 1: with his measure and say, at this point or at
- 17:07Speaker 1: that you went wrong, and you ought to have done so.
- 17:10Speaker 1: And so the point of interest to the statesman is
- 17:14Speaker 1: that it didn't, for a moment occur to us to
- 17:16Speaker 1: do so, and so when the time for doing it came.
- 17:21Speaker 1: It amazes me now to think how little either of
- 17:24Speaker 1: us troubled about the established rights or wrongs of the situation.
- 17:29Speaker 1: We hadn't an atom of respect for them, innate or acquired.
- 17:34Speaker 1: The guardians and public morals will say we were very
- 17:37Speaker 1: bad people. I submit in defense that they are very
- 17:41Speaker 1: bad guardians, provocative guardians. And when at last there came
- 17:46Speaker 1: a claim against us that had an effective validity for us,
- 17:50Speaker 1: we were in the full tide of passionate intimacy. I
- 17:55Speaker 1: had a night of nearly sleepless perplexity after Margaret's return.
- 18:01Speaker 1: She had suddenly presented herself to me like something dramatically recalled, fine, generous,
- 18:08Speaker 1: infinitely capable of feeling. I was amazed how much I
- 18:13Speaker 1: had forgotten her in my contempt for vulgarized and conventionalized honor.
- 18:19Speaker 1: I had forgotten that for me there was such a
- 18:22Speaker 1: reality as honor, And here it was warm and near
- 18:26Speaker 1: to me, living, breathing, unsuspecting Margaret's pride was my honor.
- 18:33Speaker 1: That I had had no right even to imperil. I
- 18:36Speaker 1: do not now remember if I thought at that time
- 18:39Speaker 1: of going to Isabel and putting this new aspect of
- 18:42Speaker 1: the case before her. Perhaps I did. Perhaps I may
- 18:48Speaker 1: have considered even then the possibility of ending what had
- 18:51Speaker 1: so freshly and passionately begun. If I did, it vanished
- 18:56Speaker 1: next day at the sight of her. Whatever regrets came
- 19:00Speaker 1: in the darkness, the daylight brought an obstinate confidence in
- 19:03Speaker 1: our resolution. Again we would, we declared, pull the thing off.
- 19:09Speaker 1: Margaret must not know, Margaret should not know. If Margaret
- 19:13Speaker 1: did not know, thenn no harm whatever would be done.
- 19:17Speaker 1: We tried to sustain that for a brief time we
- 19:21Speaker 1: have been like two people in a magic cell, magically
- 19:25Speaker 1: cut off from the world and full of a light
- 19:27Speaker 1: of its own, and then we began to realize that
- 19:31Speaker 1: we were not in the least cut off, that the
- 19:33Speaker 1: world was all about us, and pressing in upon us,
- 19:37Speaker 1: limiting us, threatening us, resuming possession of us. I tried
- 19:43Speaker 1: to ignore the injury to Margaret of her unreciprocated advances.
- 19:48Speaker 1: I tried to maintain to myself that this hidden love
- 19:51Speaker 1: made no difference to the now irreparable breach between husband
- 19:55Speaker 1: and wife. But I never spoke of it to Isabelle,
- 19:59Speaker 1: or let us see that aspect of our case. How
- 20:02Speaker 1: could I The time for that had gone. Then, in
- 20:08Speaker 1: new shapes and relations came trouble. Distressful elements crept in
- 20:13Speaker 1: by reason of our unavoidable furtiveness. We ignored them, hid
- 20:18Speaker 1: them from each other, and attempted to hide them from ourselves.
- 20:23Speaker 1: Successful love is a thing of abounding pride, and we
- 20:27Speaker 1: had to be secret. It was delightful at first to
- 20:30Speaker 1: be secret, a whispering, warm conspiracy. Then presently it became
- 20:36Speaker 1: irksome and a little shameful. Her essential frankness of soul
- 20:42Speaker 1: was all against the masks and falsehoods that many women
- 20:45Speaker 1: would have enjoyed. Together. In our secrecy, we relaxed. Then,
- 20:51Speaker 1: in the presence of other people. Again, it was tiresome
- 20:54Speaker 1: to have to watch for the careless, too easy phrase
- 20:58Speaker 1: to snatch back one's hand, and the limitless betrayal of
- 21:01Speaker 1: a light, familiar touch. Love becomes a poor thing at best,
- 21:06Speaker 1: a poor beautiful thing if it develops no continuing and
- 21:10Speaker 1: habitual intimacy. We were always meeting and most gloriously loving
- 21:16Speaker 1: and beginning, and then we had to snatch at remorseless
- 21:19Speaker 1: ticking watches, hurry to catch trains, and go back to
- 21:23Speaker 1: this or that. That is all very well for the
- 21:27Speaker 1: intrigues of idle people, perhaps, but not for an intense
- 21:31Speaker 1: personal relationship. It is like lighting a candle for the
- 21:36Speaker 1: sake of lighting it over and over again, and each
- 21:40Speaker 1: time blowing it out. That, no doubt, must be very
- 21:43Speaker 1: amusing to children playing with the matches, but not to
- 21:47Speaker 1: people who love warm light and want it in order
- 21:50Speaker 1: to do fine and honorable things together. We had achieved.
- 21:55Speaker 1: I give the ugly phrase that expresses the increasing discolouration
- 21:59Speaker 1: in my life mind. Illicit intercourse to end at that
- 22:04Speaker 1: we now perceived wasn't in our style. But where were
- 22:08Speaker 1: we to end? Perhaps we might at this stage have
- 22:12Speaker 1: given it up. I think if we could have seen
- 22:15Speaker 1: ahead and around us, we might have done so. But
- 22:19Speaker 1: the glow of our cell blinded us. I wonder what
- 22:23Speaker 1: might have happened if at that time we had given
- 22:26Speaker 1: it up. We propounded it. We met again in secret
- 22:31Speaker 1: to discuss it, and our overpowering passion for one another
- 22:35Speaker 1: reduced that meeting to absurdity. Presently, the idea of children
- 22:41Speaker 1: crept between us. It came in from all our conceptions
- 22:45Speaker 1: of life and public service. It was we found in
- 22:48Speaker 1: the quality of our minds that physical love without children
- 22:52Speaker 1: is a little weak, timorous, more than a little shameful.
- 22:57Speaker 1: With imaginative people, their very speed comes a time when
- 23:01Speaker 1: that realization is inevitable. We hadn't thought of that before.
- 23:06Speaker 1: It isn't natural to think of that before. We hadn't known.
- 23:11Speaker 1: There is no literature in English dealing with such things.
- 23:15Speaker 1: There is a necessary sequence of phases in love. These
- 23:19Speaker 1: came in their order, and with them unanticipated tarnishings on
- 23:23Speaker 1: the first bright perfection of our relations. For a time,
- 23:28Speaker 1: these developing phases were no more than a secret and
- 23:31Speaker 1: private trouble between us. Little shadows spreading by imperceptible degrees
- 23:37Speaker 1: across that vivid and luminous cell eight. The hand Itch
- 23:45Speaker 1: election flung me suddenly into prominence. It is still only
- 23:50Speaker 1: two years since that struggle, and I will not trouble
- 23:53Speaker 1: the reader with the detailed history of events that must
- 23:57Speaker 1: be quite sufficiently present in his mind for my purpose.
- 24:00Speaker 1: Already huge stacks of journalism have dealt with Handitch and
- 24:05Speaker 1: its significance for the reader very probably as for most
- 24:09Speaker 1: people outside a comparatively small circle. It meant my emergence
- 24:14Speaker 1: from obscurity. We have pruded no editor's name in the
- 24:18Speaker 1: Blue Weekly. I had never as yet been on the
- 24:21Speaker 1: London hoardings. Before handich I was a journalist and writer
- 24:26Speaker 1: of no great public standing. After handich I was definitely
- 24:31Speaker 1: a person in the little group of persons who stood
- 24:34Speaker 1: for the young imperialist movement. Handich was, to a very
- 24:38Speaker 1: large extent my affair. I realized then, as a man
- 24:43Speaker 1: comes to do, how much one can still grow After
- 24:46Speaker 1: seven and twenty in the second election, I was a
- 24:50Speaker 1: man taking hold of things at Kinghamstead. I had been
- 24:54Speaker 1: simply a young candidate, a party unit led about the constituency,
- 24:59Speaker 1: told to do this and that, and finally washed in
- 25:02Speaker 1: by the great anti imperialist flood like a starfish rolling
- 25:07Speaker 1: up a beach. My feminist views had earned the mistrust
- 25:12Speaker 1: of the party, and I do not think I should
- 25:14Speaker 1: have got the chance of Handich, or indeed any chance
- 25:17Speaker 1: at all of Parliament for a long time, if it
- 25:20Speaker 1: had not been that the seat, with its long record
- 25:23Speaker 1: of liberal victories and its liberal majority of three thousand,
- 25:27Speaker 1: six hundred and forty two at the last election, offered
- 25:30Speaker 1: a hopeless contest. The liberal dissensions and the belated but
- 25:36Speaker 1: by no means contemptible socialist candidate were providential interpositions. I think, however,
- 25:43Speaker 1: the conduct of gain Crup and Tarvril in coming down
- 25:47Speaker 1: to fight for me, did count tremendously in my favor.
- 25:51Speaker 1: We aren't going to win, perhaps said Krupp, but we
- 25:55Speaker 1: are going to talk. And until the very eve of
- 25:58Speaker 1: victory we treated Handitch not so much as a battlefield
- 26:02Speaker 1: as a hoarding. And so it was. The endowment of
- 26:06Speaker 1: motherhood as a practical form of eugenics got into English politics. Plutus,
- 26:12Speaker 1: our agent, was scared out of his wits when the
- 26:15Speaker 1: thing began. They're ascribing all sorts of queer ideas to
- 26:19Speaker 1: you about the family, he said, I think the family
- 26:22Speaker 1: exists for the good of the children, I said, is
- 26:25Speaker 1: that queer not when you explain it, But they won't
- 26:29Speaker 1: let you explain it. And about marriage, I'm all right
- 26:33Speaker 1: about marriage, trust me, of course, if you had children,
- 26:38Speaker 1: said Plutus rather inconsiderately. They opened fire upon me in
- 26:44Speaker 1: a little electioneering rag called the Handitch Sentinel, with a
- 26:48Speaker 1: string of garbled quotations and misrepresentations that gave me an
- 26:53Speaker 1: admirable text for a speech. I spoke for an hour
- 26:57Speaker 1: and ten minutes with a more and more crumpled copy
- 26:59Speaker 1: of the Sentinel in my hand, and I made the
- 27:03Speaker 1: fullest and completest exposition of the idea of endowing motherhood
- 27:07Speaker 1: that I think had ever been made up to that
- 27:09Speaker 1: time in England. Its effect on the press was extraordinary.
- 27:15Speaker 1: The liberal papers gave me quite unprecedented space, under the
- 27:19Speaker 1: impression that I had only to be given rope to
- 27:22Speaker 1: hang myself. The conservatives cut me down or tried to
- 27:26Speaker 1: justify me. The whole country was talking. I had had
- 27:31Speaker 1: a pamphlet in type upon the subject, and I revised
- 27:34Speaker 1: this carefully and put it on the bookstools. Within three days.
- 27:39Speaker 1: It sold enormously and brought me bushels of letters. We
- 27:43Speaker 1: issued over three thousand in hand itch alone a meeting.
- 27:48Speaker 1: After meeting, I was heckled upon nothing else. Long before
- 27:52Speaker 1: polling day, Plutus was converted. It's catching on like old
- 27:57Speaker 1: h pensions. He said. Wish the Liberals to think that
- 28:01Speaker 1: such a project should come from our side. But it
- 28:05Speaker 1: was only with the declaration of the poll that my
- 28:08Speaker 1: battle was won. No one expected more than a snatch victory,
- 28:13Speaker 1: and I was in by over fifteen hundred at one bound.
- 28:18Speaker 1: Cossington's papers passed from apologetics varied by repudiation, to triumphant praise.
- 28:25Speaker 1: A renaissance England breeding men, said the Leader in his
- 28:30Speaker 1: Chief Daily on the morning after the polling, and claimed
- 28:33Speaker 1: that the Conservatives had been ever the pioneers, insanely bold,
- 28:38Speaker 1: constructive projects. I came up to London with a weary
- 28:43Speaker 1: but rejoicing Margaret by the night train. End of chapter thirteen.