Latest / Pursuit of Sassiness / Is Being Single Good At Any Age??
Transcript
- 0:15Speaker 1: Hey, I do Part two. I am not Amy Robach.
- 0:18Speaker 1: I'm not TJ. Holmes, I'm not Jenny Garth. I'm not
- 0:20Speaker 1: Jana cram Or. My name is Easton Allen. Thank you
- 0:22Speaker 1: for joining me here on this wonderful bomby evening in
- 0:26Speaker 1: Los Alivos, California. We're doing something really exciting here. I
- 0:31Speaker 1: am here with two lovely single women, and we are
- 0:35Speaker 1: going to discuss dating, etiquette, activities, customs, things going on
- 0:43Speaker 1: in the world. These are two women from different generations,
- 0:45Speaker 1: been on the same path looking for love, trying to
- 0:48Speaker 1: find their forever person, someone special to spend the night with.
- 0:52Speaker 1: I got Kathy Schwartz, one of our favorite people from
- 0:55Speaker 1: The Golden Bachelor. Say hello, Kathy, Hello, Hello Hello.
- 0:58Speaker 2: There is one big difference between your two guests tonight.
- 1:02Speaker 2: I am definitely Chapter two and she is definitely Chapter one.
- 1:08Speaker 1: That's the beauty of this. We're also here with Evvy.
- 1:11Speaker 1: Can I say your last name? Evvy? Do you want
- 1:12Speaker 1: to just be Eavy? Do you want to be a different.
- 1:14Speaker 3: Name, Evvy like Chevy.
- 1:16Speaker 1: Right, I'm here with Evvie. Like Chevy. We will not
- 1:19Speaker 1: be revealing her last name nor her home address. I
- 1:21Speaker 1: apologize everybody.
- 1:23Speaker 3: Or social security numbers.
- 1:24Speaker 1: Yeah, we're here with Evvy. Evvy's from a younger generation
- 1:28Speaker 1: and she's going to be sharing her experiences dating as well.
- 1:31Speaker 1: Gen Z, gen Z, gen Z and Boomer head to head.
- 1:40Speaker 1: This is very exciting. I'm really pumped to find out
- 1:42Speaker 1: what's going on here. Now, let's let's start off things
- 1:45Speaker 1: with a let's do a softball. Let's do a softball.
- 1:49Speaker 1: When you're dating, when you're looking for a guy to
- 1:52Speaker 1: take you out, how are we doing this? Are we
- 1:55Speaker 1: on apps?
- 1:56Speaker 2: Are we on I'm screaming from rooftops.
- 1:59Speaker 4: Yeah, I can say that I've actually never been on
- 2:03Speaker 4: dating apps. Wow, you have never I've never never made
- 2:08Speaker 4: a profile.
- 2:09Speaker 2: I've never I've done it at all.
- 2:11Speaker 3: Yeah, but I.
- 2:12Speaker 4: Kind of good old fashioned meeting in a bar, really
- 2:16Speaker 4: making eye contact, seeing what's casting out the line, seeing
- 2:20Speaker 4: what sticks.
- 2:22Speaker 1: Okay, Well, how about this when you do meet someone,
- 2:26Speaker 1: be it on an app, at a bar, on the street,
- 2:29Speaker 1: on social media, how are you getting in contact with them?
- 2:32Speaker 1: Are you exchanging numbers? Are you are you giving out snapchats?
- 2:35Speaker 1: Or what's happening here?
- 2:36Speaker 2: Okay, So I have the solution for all single women
- 2:40Speaker 2: out there when I've been on dating apps. I will
- 2:43Speaker 2: text them on the dating app, but you know what,
- 2:46Speaker 2: you can only do that for so long. I get
- 2:48Speaker 2: right to the heart of the matter. I give them
- 2:51Speaker 2: my phone number, but not just any phone number.
- 2:53Speaker 3: Oh yeah, this is good.
- 2:54Speaker 4: You told me this today.
- 2:55Speaker 2: It's right, I did. I give them my Google phone number.
- 2:59Speaker 2: Because of Google phone number is not traceable, so they
- 3:03Speaker 2: can't find out my address or anything about me. So
- 3:06Speaker 2: that's the next step. After I'm on the dating app
- 3:09Speaker 2: and we've texted, and I make sure that their pictures
- 3:12Speaker 2: are current, then I give them my Google phone number.
- 3:14Speaker 1: All right, heavy, do you have a similar line of
- 3:18Speaker 1: protection for yourself.
- 3:18Speaker 4: And give out your phone her Kathy taught me about
- 3:22Speaker 4: this today, and I have just been raw dogging it
- 3:24Speaker 4: and giving it out my number left and right. Didn't
- 3:28Speaker 4: know that I was in danger, but yeah you do, ranger.
- 3:32Speaker 4: I know, I get I should be more concerned about
- 3:34Speaker 4: my safety, but I just give them my number. I've
- 3:37Speaker 4: moved on, I think when I graduated from colleges, when
- 3:39Speaker 4: we moved on from Snapchat, I really don't. I'm not
- 3:43Speaker 4: interested in sending a phone out of myself.
- 3:45Speaker 2: You meet guys on Snapchat.
- 3:47Speaker 3: No, this is not anymore or I'm above it now.
- 3:51Speaker 3: Now it's just phone numbers, yeah.
- 3:53Speaker 1: Okay, not social not Instagram or anything.
- 3:57Speaker 3: There's okay. I did meet a guy once and.
- 3:59Speaker 4: He did he he didn't ask for my phone number,
- 4:03Speaker 4: and he was like, I'll see you next weekend.
- 4:04Speaker 3: I'm like, well, how are you going to see me
- 4:05Speaker 3: next weekend?
- 4:06Speaker 4: And he's like, I'll you.
- 4:07Speaker 3: Know, follow you and shoot you hit you up in
- 4:09Speaker 3: the d MS.
- 4:10Speaker 2: That's what he told me. He's the love of my life.
- 4:19Speaker 4: Yeah, that really so great sliding he did, and he did,
- 4:26Speaker 4: and he he then asked and then I when he
- 4:29Speaker 4: slid in the d MS, I just hit him with
- 4:31Speaker 4: my phone number. I didn't respond to his message. I
- 4:33Speaker 4: just hit him with my phone number. Yeah, and then
- 4:36Speaker 4: he like he used it, but he never fall I
- 4:39Speaker 4: think that it's been the issue in my generation is
- 4:44Speaker 4: I get ask for my phone number all the time,
- 4:45Speaker 4: and people do nothing with it.
- 4:47Speaker 3: I give it to them.
- 4:48Speaker 4: Really they do nothing, and then okay, you're busy.
- 4:56Speaker 3: I just yeah, I don't. Yeah, that's what I don't understand.
- 4:59Speaker 2: You know what, You just get to the heart of
- 5:00Speaker 2: the matter. That's the problem. You young'uns. You you're like
- 5:04Speaker 2: in bars and you're giving numbers and you're chat you're
- 5:09Speaker 2: doing all these things. You just need to get to
- 5:11Speaker 2: the heart of the matter.
- 5:12Speaker 3: Heavy, Well, what would you suggest that I do, Kathy?
- 5:15Speaker 4: If I give my number to somebody and then they
- 5:18Speaker 4: don't do anything with all.
- 5:19Speaker 2: You have to make yourself so appealing that they like
- 5:23Speaker 2: they have their your number engraved on their wrist and
- 5:26Speaker 2: they're calling you the next day.
- 5:28Speaker 3: I think I'm bad.
- 5:30Speaker 4: So I had a boyfriend for three years, so I'm
- 5:32Speaker 4: out of the game. I think I'm bad at the whole,
- 5:34Speaker 4: like games cat and.
- 5:36Speaker 2: Sorry, I was married forty six years. Yeah, so you're
- 5:41Speaker 2: gonna do something better?
- 5:43Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, I think I'm just bad.
- 5:46Speaker 2: Dating really for me has been like you have to
- 5:49Speaker 2: learn it on the fly, and I've learned that men,
- 5:53Speaker 2: Oh how much time do we have? Men put pictures
- 5:56Speaker 2: up of themselves in bathrooms with their shirts off, when
- 6:01Speaker 2: God knows they should leave their shirts on, you know.
- 6:06Speaker 2: They they ask questions that they shouldn't ask.
- 6:10Speaker 1: Like what kind of questions?
- 6:12Speaker 2: Oh, really, give me a taste of it.
- 6:17Speaker 3: I want to know what are they saying.
- 6:18Speaker 2: I've had men ask me. No one's going to listen
- 6:22Speaker 2: to this right.
- 6:24Speaker 1: No, this is this is just between us, Okay, just.
- 6:26Speaker 2: Between us girls. Okay. So I've had men ask me literally,
- 6:32Speaker 2: I'd like to take you out. You seem very smart,
- 6:34Speaker 2: you're beautiful, but I have to know that you're going
- 6:36Speaker 2: to have sex with me pretty quickly into this, because
- 6:40Speaker 2: that's and I'm.
- 6:42Speaker 3: Like Kathy's that they never change. Ever, men never change.
- 6:45Speaker 2: Oh I was telling you that on the way up.
- 6:47Speaker 2: Are telling men just get gray hair. Their personalities don't
- 6:52Speaker 2: really change.
- 6:52Speaker 1: They do change, they get worse.
- 6:55Speaker 2: Okay, So I have a Can I ask you a
- 6:58Speaker 2: question because we have this conversation, please my question for
- 7:02Speaker 2: our generations. I think that men men say that they
- 7:08Speaker 2: want independent, smart, aggressive, funny, witty. I mean, that is
- 7:16Speaker 2: my name all over it. But I think they're all liars.
- 7:20Speaker 2: I think men say that's what they want, but they
- 7:23Speaker 2: really want to be the knight enshining armor to come
- 7:27Speaker 2: and rescue, and they want to earn more than you do.
- 7:30Speaker 2: The patriarchy is alive, and well what do you think?
- 7:34Speaker 1: I completely agree.
- 7:35Speaker 2: So I'm screwed. I'm never going to find a guy
- 7:37Speaker 2: because I can't be anybody other than I am.
- 7:40Speaker 3: I think that.
- 7:43Speaker 4: Nowadays, like women can I mean women can have children
- 7:46Speaker 4: on their own.
- 7:47Speaker 2: Now women are trust me, women have always had children
- 7:51Speaker 2: on their own.
- 7:52Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 7:52Speaker 4: But I'm just I think that like women can be
- 7:56Speaker 4: like self sufficient, you know, you can take care of
- 7:58Speaker 4: yourselves whatever.
- 8:00Speaker 3: And I think men need to feel useful or wanted
- 8:04Speaker 3: in some way.
- 8:05Speaker 4: So I think I think in dating sometimes you have
- 8:07Speaker 4: to give a little bit of that. I give a yeah, yeah, general,
- 8:14Speaker 4: I love a man who opens the door.
- 8:15Speaker 2: Yeah. But I think dating is very different in our generations.
- 8:20Speaker 2: And I'm just gonna jump in if you will let
- 8:22Speaker 2: me please women in I'm not casting this versions. I'm
- 8:28Speaker 2: not directing this at you heavy. I think women in
- 8:32Speaker 2: your gen x gen z, whatever the hell you are,
- 8:35Speaker 2: what are you gen z gen z? I don't even
- 8:38Speaker 2: know what gen x is. It's something, it's it's a thing.
- 8:42Speaker 2: I think young people today, hello, how are you? Let's
- 8:48Speaker 2: have sex?
- 8:49Speaker 3: There's definitely more of a hookup culture.
- 8:52Speaker 2: A hook up on a first date, second date. I
- 8:55Speaker 2: on the other hand, people in my generation like, we
- 8:59Speaker 2: grew up, Oh you're having sex. You're a slut, you know.
- 9:03Speaker 2: I'm sorry, that's how we grew up. So when I
- 9:07Speaker 2: date a guy, if that's what he's after on the
- 9:11Speaker 2: first I mean, first date. Are you serious? Like I'm
- 9:14Speaker 2: gonna make sure he's going to pay the bill for
- 9:16Speaker 2: my ice cream dessert.
- 9:18Speaker 3: I think I.
- 9:19Speaker 4: Think it's less about like what the guy wants, and
- 9:21Speaker 4: it's more like what do I want out of this?
- 9:23Speaker 2: Like I respect, do you want to see the guy again?
- 9:26Speaker 4: Yes, But I don't think it's like an equal equation,
- 9:29Speaker 4: like if I have sex with them on the first date,
- 9:30Speaker 4: then they're automatically not going to respect me. I think
- 9:33Speaker 4: it's a little more like something I can suss out,
- 9:37Speaker 4: not saying that that's what I do, like, I'm.
- 9:39Speaker 3: Just saying like I think I can kind of.
- 9:42Speaker 2: Which is why Abby's not giving us our last name.
- 9:49Speaker 2: I'm just saying, listen, sweetie, I could be your mother,
- 9:52Speaker 2: almost your grandmother. And I am telling you men, everyone
- 9:57Speaker 2: raise your hand if you disagree. Men take home to
- 10:02Speaker 2: Mama the women that they respect, who they think they
- 10:06Speaker 2: can build a life with, not a woman that sleeps
- 10:10Speaker 2: to them on the first night, because tomorrow night she's
- 10:13Speaker 2: sleeping with somebody else. That's just my take, So you
- 10:16Speaker 2: know that's I live differently. I'm not saying I believe
- 10:20Speaker 2: me I had sex before marriage. I've had sex since marriage,
- 10:24Speaker 2: but it's not high. How are you let's have dinner
- 10:27Speaker 2: and by the way, we're going home and have sex.
- 10:29Speaker 3: I think it's more. I think the more of like
- 10:32Speaker 3: the point is not.
- 10:36Speaker 4: Is taking it less out of like the men the
- 10:39Speaker 4: man's hand, and like, oh, if he's gonna respect me
- 10:42Speaker 4: if I wait for three dates or five dates or
- 10:44Speaker 4: ten weeks or whatever it is, and more about like
- 10:47Speaker 4: what do I want out of this situation?
- 10:49Speaker 3: And what do if I just like, if I just
- 10:53Speaker 3: want sex.
- 10:54Speaker 4: I'm just saying, if I or any other girl just
- 10:57Speaker 4: like and want sex and not something serious, then like the.
- 11:03Speaker 3: Just saying, or or.
- 11:06Speaker 4: If you want something casual, if you want something more
- 11:08Speaker 4: serious than maybe you would yeah, maybe you would hold off.
- 11:11Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I've got one more question that I'm going
- 11:12Speaker 2: to zip it.
- 11:13Speaker 3: No, No, well you're I think the point is that
- 11:15Speaker 3: we don't zip it.
- 11:17Speaker 2: I'm so I am, like, I'm worried for this generation
- 11:25Speaker 2: about sexually transmitted diseases? Am I the only one who's
- 11:29Speaker 2: worried about this? Well?
- 11:31Speaker 4: No, it's always, definitely always should be predicted. I think
- 11:34Speaker 4: if you want to if you want to be respected,
- 11:36Speaker 4: I don't think you.
- 11:37Speaker 3: Want an STD that's for sure. It's like the number
- 11:39Speaker 3: one thing.
- 11:40Speaker 1: It's interesting. I'm hearing conflicting things though, because I'm I'm
- 11:43Speaker 1: reading in other places that like gen Z and younger
- 11:45Speaker 1: are having less sex than ever. I know it's interested
- 11:48Speaker 1: in sex.
- 11:49Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's true.
- 11:51Speaker 2: She said, shrieking less sad.
- 11:55Speaker 4: Yes, it's it's in general like gen Z is like
- 11:58Speaker 4: dating less, having sex, having doing, being monopoly, TikTok, doing
- 12:07Speaker 4: anything but scroll.
- 12:11Speaker 3: They're just like no, they're just doom.
- 12:14Speaker 2: Scrolling, scrolling Jesus.
- 12:16Speaker 3: Frying their brains.
- 12:17Speaker 2: I'm so glad your parents paid for a college education.
- 12:20Speaker 2: What's your kid doing? Doom scrolling?
- 12:33Speaker 4: I was driving up here with with Kathy. I was
- 12:36Speaker 4: driving up What was our How long was our car?
- 12:38Speaker 1: Bay?
- 12:38Speaker 3: Three and a half hours? Kathy, Kathy knows if you want.
- 12:41Speaker 4: A lesson on banter tech banter, text, you gotta you
- 12:46Speaker 4: gotta sit in a three and a half car ride
- 12:48Speaker 4: with Kathy voice texting into her phone everything that she's saying.
- 12:54Speaker 4: I mean, I learned so much from you today.
- 12:56Speaker 2: Seriously, I didn't tell you, but you must always be careful,
- 13:00Speaker 2: Okay who you are texting? Don't text them, You're texting
- 13:03Speaker 2: the right person, the right message.
- 13:07Speaker 1: Experience, Kathy, what happened? Does something tell us who did
- 13:11Speaker 1: you text?
- 13:12Speaker 2: Clips? Or that would be a capital I know.
- 13:15Speaker 1: Okay, okay, how about this. If a male suitor is
- 13:20Speaker 1: looking to take you out, do you think it's up
- 13:23Speaker 1: to him to make the plans to pick where you're
- 13:26Speaker 1: going on.
- 13:27Speaker 2: A first date?
- 13:28Speaker 1: First date?
- 13:28Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, I think I had a first date recently
- 13:34Speaker 2: and he gave me so everyone thinks I'm a hard ass,
- 13:38Speaker 2: but here's the truth. He gave me a choice of
- 13:42Speaker 2: two restaurants, but I'd heard him before mention one of them,
- 13:47Speaker 2: so I said the one I knew he wanted to
- 13:50Speaker 2: go do Okay, interesting, and then I ordered the most
- 13:54Speaker 2: expensive thing on the menu.
- 13:56Speaker 1: Good move. I like that.
- 13:59Speaker 4: I think when your first, yeah, you first meet someone,
- 14:02Speaker 4: your first texting guy, like saying the least amount.
- 14:04Speaker 3: Is possible and seeing what they do with it. Yeah,
- 14:06Speaker 3: so like letting them know.
- 14:09Speaker 4: Like I met somebody I live in LA and he
- 14:12Speaker 4: lives in San Francisco, and I met him and then
- 14:14Speaker 4: I like told him two weeks later, oh I'm back
- 14:17Speaker 4: in San Francisco, and I just that's all I said.
- 14:19Speaker 3: And I just wanted to see what he would take
- 14:20Speaker 3: with it.
- 14:20Speaker 4: And he was like, oh, great, can you do Wednesday Thursday?
- 14:24Speaker 4: I'm around, Can I get can I pick you up?
- 14:27Speaker 4: I have a reservation, whatever, Like, just let him make
- 14:29Speaker 4: the plan and see what they do.
- 14:30Speaker 2: Yeah, I think, men, I think. I don't know. I
- 14:35Speaker 2: can only speak for myself. I like it when a
- 14:37Speaker 2: man says gives me either a couple of choices or says,
- 14:41Speaker 2: let's do this. But I love spontanaty. I was out
- 14:45Speaker 2: with this guy, I'm telling you. We went to dinner
- 14:47Speaker 2: at a restaurant and then we were talking about dessert
- 14:50Speaker 2: and we both love butterscotch, and he said, he looked
- 14:54Speaker 2: at his watch and said let's go, and he paid
- 14:55Speaker 2: the bill and we drove across town and went to
- 14:58Speaker 2: this other restaurant just for their fabulous butter scotch dessert.
- 15:02Speaker 1: Like that.
- 15:02Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, good move.
- 15:06Speaker 1: And that's another question I have is does the man
- 15:10Speaker 1: pick up the bill on the first date you?
- 15:13Speaker 2: Yeah?
- 15:14Speaker 4: No, I think I think the first few dates, I
- 15:20Speaker 4: would say, first three dates, the man picks up the bill.
- 15:24Speaker 3: At least at.
- 15:25Speaker 2: Least the guys that I've dated will never let me
- 15:32Speaker 2: pick up the check, and any guy that has is
- 15:35Speaker 2: a guy that I'm never going to see again. I
- 15:37Speaker 2: will say. I will tell you there's been a few
- 15:40Speaker 2: dates that I've had where I knew I was never
- 15:43Speaker 2: going to see the guy again. I looked in his
- 15:45Speaker 2: eyes and all I saw was black, Like I'm out.
- 15:50Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, There was nothing there, and
- 15:59Speaker 2: I insisted on paying half. And I don't think he
- 16:03Speaker 2: realized it at the time. Why, but it was I
- 16:05Speaker 2: was walking away feeling guiltfrelly because I knew I didn't
- 16:09Speaker 2: see this guy again. But most men my age who
- 16:13Speaker 2: take me out or you know, in my generation, they
- 16:17Speaker 2: will not let me pay.
- 16:20Speaker 4: Well, yeah, I'm not saying that, they're Yeah.
- 16:22Speaker 2: I think it won't matter second date, third day, fourth day.
- 16:26Speaker 4: Like, no, I think at some point I don't want
- 16:29Speaker 4: not At some point I wouldn't pick up a whole
- 16:31Speaker 4: I don't know if i'd pick up the whole bill.
- 16:33Speaker 4: But like if we're say, like we're having a longer
- 16:36Speaker 4: date and it's like we are going out, I guess
- 16:39Speaker 4: it's hard because I like my baseline is like I
- 16:41Speaker 4: was in a relationship, so at that point, like having
- 16:44Speaker 4: them pick up every single bill think yeah, but but
- 16:48Speaker 4: I think, like I means by me, the house, the car,
- 16:53Speaker 4: but there's more more than just dinner, vacation. Yeah, but
- 16:58Speaker 4: I think like after it, it'd be like going to
- 17:02Speaker 4: dinner and then maybe I pick up, like if we
- 17:04Speaker 4: get drinks after, like I'm getting the two eight dollars
- 17:07Speaker 4: coronas and then there's my there's my piece.
- 17:09Speaker 2: I think that's I think that's a generation thing. I
- 17:11Speaker 2: really do. I think it's a generation.
- 17:13Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know.
- 17:15Speaker 1: Yeah, so, and this thing goes there's a tradition that
- 17:20Speaker 1: goes back many generations. But the third date rule, you
- 17:23Speaker 1: gotta If it's just not a kiss on the third date,
- 17:27Speaker 1: then it's not going to happen.
- 17:28Speaker 3: Oh, there's got to be a kiss before the third date.
- 17:31Speaker 3: I'm out, third date, third.
- 17:33Speaker 1: Date, that's the thing, right, kiss, Yeah, kiss, I kiss
- 17:37Speaker 1: good night.
- 17:37Speaker 2: Wait a second, I think gen Z and Bloomers just agree.
- 17:42Speaker 2: We give me five first date.
- 17:46Speaker 4: First date, first Oh god, if there's not a kiss
- 17:49Speaker 4: for how am I going to vet you? Well?
- 17:51Speaker 2: If i'm if, I'm yeah, exactly. Wait, if you don't
- 17:55Speaker 2: kiss the guy on the first day, If I don't
- 17:56Speaker 2: kiss a man on a first date, he's never getting
- 18:00Speaker 2: second date.
- 18:00Speaker 4: And here's what I'm going to add to that. If
- 18:03Speaker 4: there's not like sparks or butterflies.
- 18:07Speaker 2: Is she's saying tongue, Is that where you're going?
- 18:09Speaker 4: Oh no, God, Karthie, I was saying, if there's not,
- 18:14Speaker 4: if there's if there's a kiss and I don't feel
- 18:16Speaker 4: like sparks, you're done, you're out.
- 18:19Speaker 3: You're not a good kisser.
- 18:20Speaker 1: So there has to be a kiss on the first date.
- 18:22Speaker 1: And that's how you determine chemistry.
- 18:24Speaker 3: No, no, what are all these days?
- 18:25Speaker 2: It's so much time for Listen, I can't speak to
- 18:29Speaker 2: my generation. But I'm about to please. When I look
- 18:33Speaker 2: when I meet a guy and I look in his eyes,
- 18:37Speaker 2: if I don't feel it like bring the check now,
- 18:42Speaker 2: wow for me. But I've been around the block. I
- 18:45Speaker 2: mean I'm older, I've you know, even though I was
- 18:48Speaker 2: made a long time. So so for me, it's not
- 18:52Speaker 2: like I don't have to wait for a kiss.
- 18:54Speaker 1: So you know almost right like right away, would you say,
- 18:56Speaker 1: like when down the table?
- 18:58Speaker 2: Yep?
- 18:59Speaker 1: Before then yep?
- 19:00Speaker 3: Oh, I can tell right away.
- 19:01Speaker 2: I can tell right away from out and these people
- 19:05Speaker 2: that say and at my age, I don't know about
- 19:07Speaker 2: you heavy. But people will say, oh, give them a
- 19:10Speaker 2: second date. Nope, Nope. I've learned if I'm not feeling
- 19:14Speaker 2: it in the first date, it's a second date's not happening.
- 19:18Speaker 3: No, because I can tell right away, like if you're
- 19:21Speaker 3: I don't know. I feel like we said this lot today. Kathy.
- 19:24Speaker 4: Game recognizes game, like if you're smart and you're attractive
- 19:28Speaker 4: and you're in the mix, like, I'm like, okay.
- 19:31Speaker 3: I can tell.
- 19:31Speaker 4: But if you're that's I can immediately tell if you
- 19:34Speaker 4: if you're I don't know, if you're not my vibe,
- 19:36Speaker 4: not my style.
- 19:37Speaker 2: It's just there's I think these are too strong. These
- 19:41Speaker 2: are too strong women.
- 19:42Speaker 3: Which apparently meant we're too strong.
- 19:44Speaker 2: Women, and so we're not gonna work. We think we're
- 19:48Speaker 2: you're a catch, right.
- 19:50Speaker 3: Just say yeah, sure, I'm a catch.
- 19:53Speaker 2: Yes, And I'm not sure all women have that confidence.
- 19:56Speaker 2: And I think the question of confidence comes in.
- 20:00Speaker 3: Okay, here's I think, Kathy, you're onto something we talked
- 20:03Speaker 3: about this day.
- 20:03Speaker 2: On the car.
- 20:04Speaker 1: We talked a lot.
- 20:06Speaker 4: I mean we were on we were on a one
- 20:09Speaker 4: way train to Yap City, so we were on Kathy.
- 20:12Speaker 2: We drove through some of the most beautiful northern weather. Hell,
- 20:16Speaker 2: we are southern California, northern somewhere in California.
- 20:20Speaker 1: Beautiful, central California.
- 20:22Speaker 2: Central California. It's just mountains, beautiful lakes. It was beautiful.
- 20:27Speaker 2: And what do we do?
- 20:28Speaker 4: We missed all of the way. We yapped the entire
- 20:31Speaker 4: time we did. We did't see any What was that
- 20:34Speaker 4: national forest we were in?
- 20:35Speaker 2: Kathy lost something lost Padres Padres Padres National Forest? We got,
- 20:41Speaker 2: which means the father's case.
- 20:43Speaker 5: You're curious, yes, okay, well, okay, But what we were
- 20:48Speaker 5: talking about is that I think a lot of times
- 20:53Speaker 5: women in my generation are like and I will say,
- 20:57Speaker 5: and I.
- 20:57Speaker 4: Have friends who are from college who have gone all
- 21:00Speaker 4: different cities. We're in New York or London, who're Chicago, La,
- 21:03Speaker 4: San Francisco, And I think every girl thinks that their
- 21:07Speaker 4: city is the worst city to date. And I just
- 21:11Speaker 4: think that we were talking about it. But I think
- 21:14Speaker 4: dating ninety percent of it is energy, Like it's all
- 21:18Speaker 4: the energy that you give out. It's not like the
- 21:21Speaker 4: prettiest girl in the room, because if you're closed off,
- 21:25Speaker 4: I mean, there's a baseline, but I.
- 21:27Speaker 2: Mean I'm going to take issue with that. I think
- 21:30Speaker 2: if a blonde bomb walks in with artificial you know,
- 21:36Speaker 2: doesn't ever real body parts. Men are going to take notice.
- 21:40Speaker 4: You think even if she's like looks like she's in
- 21:42Speaker 4: terrible mood and she's like closed off and.
- 21:46Speaker 3: Yeah really yeah, you think a guy will still go
- 21:49Speaker 3: up to her.
- 21:50Speaker 4: Yep, because I've seen it, Like some of my best
- 21:53Speaker 4: friends from school were like the most gorgeous people, but
- 21:55Speaker 4: I think they like were turned off and didn't have
- 21:57Speaker 4: the right energy.
- 21:59Speaker 2: I know it. Energy is something. But we're back to
- 22:02Speaker 2: this where we talked about initially men my age say,
- 22:08Speaker 2: I think it takes for us we are confident women.
- 22:11Speaker 2: I think it takes a strong, confident man who's not
- 22:15Speaker 2: intimidated by us. And I don't care what generation you're
- 22:18Speaker 2: talking about. I think that crosses age boundaries. Okay, yeah,
- 22:25Speaker 2: I agree, Kathy.
- 22:26Speaker 4: I want I have some questions, sorry, what would be
- 22:29Speaker 4: your number one tip for girls in my generation on
- 22:33Speaker 4: like how.
- 22:35Speaker 3: On how to pick up a guy?
- 22:38Speaker 1: Like what would be a good question?
- 22:40Speaker 3: How well in the wild, not on an app in
- 22:43Speaker 3: the wild. Oh, I've got the answer to this because
- 22:45Speaker 3: I've seen you in action.
- 22:46Speaker 2: I can yess you have uh make it make that
- 22:50Speaker 2: sound a little better than that.
- 22:51Speaker 3: Just I've seen you crushing it.
- 22:53Speaker 2: Thank you much better. Okay, I honestly I'm going to
- 22:57Speaker 2: tell you, and I have children who are little bit
- 23:00Speaker 2: older than you, this is what on my own patcast.
- 23:04Speaker 2: Let me just tell you. If you're not listening to
- 23:06Speaker 2: Golden Hour un Bachelor Happy Hour, you should be. But
- 23:10Speaker 2: I say this on my podcast all the time. If
- 23:12Speaker 2: you want to meet a guy, you need to put
- 23:18Speaker 2: yourself out there and do things that you love. If
- 23:22Speaker 2: you love to kayak, go join a kayak group. If
- 23:25Speaker 2: you like to run, join a running group, whatever it is,
- 23:29Speaker 2: art crawl, I could name you one hundred things, go
- 23:32Speaker 2: to a beer craft, lesson, whatever it is. If you
- 23:36Speaker 2: do the things you love, the right people will come
- 23:40Speaker 2: into your life. But you have to show who you
- 23:44Speaker 2: are to get the right people to come into your life.
- 23:47Speaker 3: Okay, I really like that.
- 23:48Speaker 4: I also think that ties into what we were talking
- 23:50Speaker 4: about with like good energy, Like you're putting good energy
- 23:53Speaker 4: out positivity, Yes, out in the world.
- 23:55Speaker 3: You're doing what you love.
- 23:56Speaker 2: Yeah, no guy want Frankly, no guy wants to meet
- 24:04Speaker 2: you know, Winne the Pooh, You know who am I
- 24:07Speaker 2: thinking of? Heffalump? No, the one, the guy the negative here.
- 24:12Speaker 2: Nobody wants a New York. Oh, nobody wants a New York.
- 24:16Speaker 2: I mean I I will tell you for me. I
- 24:19Speaker 2: have dated so many men who say to me one date.
- 24:24Speaker 2: When I say dated, let's not get carried away. You
- 24:27Speaker 2: are so funny, You're you're so entertaining, and I want
- 24:30Speaker 2: to look at them. And I'm not mean, so I
- 24:32Speaker 2: don't say it, but I want to say, how about you? Like,
- 24:37Speaker 2: you have to bring equal measures of humor. You have
- 24:41Speaker 2: to you have to be funny and loving. All those
- 24:44Speaker 2: things have to come together, and you got to find
- 24:47Speaker 2: the person that brings that to you and that you
- 24:49Speaker 2: give it to. And they're not And by the way,
- 24:51Speaker 2: I have a just in case you were curious. They're
- 24:54Speaker 2: not going to come and knock on your front door. Yeah.
- 24:57Speaker 3: I think that's yeah, that's important.
- 24:58Speaker 2: And I think I think so social media, and not
- 25:00Speaker 2: that anyone's asking. I think that social media has presented
- 25:05Speaker 2: a huge problem because people sit behind their computers and
- 25:08Speaker 2: they think, oh, I want so easy to swipe? Yes, no,
- 25:11Speaker 2: and it becomes all about physical features. Yep.
- 25:24Speaker 3: Can I tell you my number one trick?
- 25:26Speaker 2: What tell me? Okay?
- 25:28Speaker 3: So what I do.
- 25:29Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 25:29Speaker 4: So if I'm in a bar or somewhere restaurant and
- 25:31Speaker 4: I see someone that I like, I just like just
- 25:34Speaker 4: stare at them until they look back.
- 25:39Speaker 2: That's when they call the manager say she's looking weird.
- 25:42Speaker 6: It's Los Angeles and they think I'm one of like
- 25:47Speaker 6: some question. I don't want something, okay, okay a restaurant
- 25:51Speaker 6: or out or at a whatever, and you just I
- 25:54Speaker 6: just stare until they look back, and they notice I'm
- 25:56Speaker 6: staring and they look away and I go back, and
- 26:00Speaker 6: like nine times out of ten it works.
- 26:02Speaker 3: They come up to me, Wow, eye contact.
- 26:06Speaker 1: Do you do you just blankly stare at them or
- 26:08Speaker 1: do you like smile a little bit or do you
- 26:10Speaker 1: just like I'm very curious what you.
- 26:14Speaker 3: Have to say.
- 26:16Speaker 2: I did this tonight at the restaurant we were at
- 26:21Speaker 2: with the farmer. So we're here in Los of Levos
- 26:26Speaker 2: to meet the three farmers who are on season four
- 26:30Speaker 2: of Farmers Wants a Wife. Now they don't know it yet,
- 26:33Speaker 2: but they're going to ditch who they've chosen and they're
- 26:36Speaker 2: going to take me. But that's a whole that's a
- 26:38Speaker 2: whole nother story. But we wants a Cathy Farmer needs
- 26:42Speaker 2: a cafe. So we're sitting at this restaurant tonight, and
- 26:47Speaker 2: you know, I start staring at this guy because I
- 26:49Speaker 2: am sure he is one of the farmers. I am
- 26:52Speaker 2: so sure. Very good looking guy, very good looking guy.
- 26:55Speaker 2: The three farmers who I'm going to meet, I can
- 26:57Speaker 2: hardly wait. We're going to meet him tomorrow and I'm
- 27:00Speaker 2: going to interview them and I'm going to convince them
- 27:02Speaker 2: that they've made the wrong choice. But needless to say,
- 27:05Speaker 2: I stare at this guy and then he gets up
- 27:07Speaker 2: to go to the bathroom. I go over and I
- 27:09Speaker 2: say to the woman he's with, is he one of
- 27:13Speaker 2: the farmers from from ats a wife? Well?
- 27:15Speaker 4: Okay, but before that, Kathy, you asked me and you
- 27:17Speaker 4: said that's what I was.
- 27:20Speaker 3: And I said, no, it's not.
- 27:21Speaker 2: I stared. The point was heavy. The point here is,
- 27:25Speaker 2: let's get the point straight.
- 27:26Speaker 3: The po went.
- 27:27Speaker 2: I stared at him. First of all, I'm old enough
- 27:29Speaker 2: to be his mother. But he looked at me like
- 27:31Speaker 2: you're a creeper, and so I went over and talked
- 27:34Speaker 2: to her, and needless say, it was not. It was not. However,
- 27:37Speaker 2: he's from Austin, Texas, which is where I'm from. Interesting,
- 27:40Speaker 2: what a coincidence. So I don't think it always pays.
- 27:43Speaker 2: I think when you're young and beautiful like you are,
- 27:46Speaker 2: you could pretty much stand there and look stupid and
- 27:48Speaker 2: some great guys going on.
- 27:50Speaker 4: Now I'm saying there is there is truth to the
- 27:53Speaker 4: ick too, sticky eyes. If you're if you if someone
- 27:56Speaker 4: catches you looking at them and then you look away,
- 27:59Speaker 4: you know, I'm barrassed, and then you look back.
- 28:03Speaker 3: I failed.
- 28:05Speaker 2: I failed it fail.
- 28:08Speaker 4: But I do think there's something like I don't know
- 28:11Speaker 4: it's powerful about about eye contact.
- 28:14Speaker 1: If the eye contact doesn't work, do you have a
- 28:16Speaker 1: backup Let's see handkerchief.
- 28:18Speaker 2: Would you buy a drink?
- 28:20Speaker 1: Yeah, when you buy a drink, I will not.
- 28:23Speaker 4: One time I bought a guy a drink and I
- 28:26Speaker 4: had no idea what I was I I guess I
- 28:29Speaker 4: I walked away and I was like, I can't believe
- 28:31Speaker 4: I just bought that guy a drink like it was
- 28:34Speaker 4: And then then you know what he did, yes for
- 28:37Speaker 4: my number, and they never did anything with it.
- 28:39Speaker 3: So that's what happens.
- 28:40Speaker 2: If you I'm just going to say I'm going to
- 28:43Speaker 2: go out on a limb here, you need to rethink.
- 28:48Speaker 3: Am I failing? Am I fail. I think Kathy's disappointed
- 28:52Speaker 3: in my dating.
- 28:52Speaker 2: No. I think you are a beautiful, young, lovely woman.
- 28:56Speaker 2: I really do. But I think that the generations are different.
- 29:01Speaker 2: I mean, but in some ways they're different and in
- 29:04Speaker 2: some ways are the same. Katy.
- 29:06Speaker 4: Can I tell you something that happened to me the
- 29:07Speaker 4: other night? Do tell the other night again? I was
- 29:11Speaker 4: at a bar.
- 29:13Speaker 2: Excuse me, excuse me, Eavy, do you work, because you
- 29:16Speaker 2: spend a hell of a lot of time at bars.
- 29:20Speaker 4: That's I guess what my generation should be doing, trying
- 29:23Speaker 4: to meet people out.
- 29:24Speaker 2: Here's here's a women's nowhere else to find Evy saying
- 29:31Speaker 2: I'm working remotely, and there's loud noise in the background
- 29:35Speaker 2: and clinking of glasses, and she's like, yeah, I'm washing dishes. No, No,
- 29:40Speaker 2: you're at a bar. Carry on, carry on.
- 29:43Speaker 4: Okay, I deny all of those statements. I just I
- 29:47Speaker 4: just I'm just having just living life. But anyways, I
- 29:51Speaker 4: was at a bar the other night and this guy whatever,
- 29:57Speaker 4: who I've talked to you be for whatever, came up
- 29:58Speaker 4: and bought me a drink and we were talking kind
- 30:02Speaker 4: of dancing, and then he ran over and went like
- 30:05Speaker 4: right in front of me, went and like was talking
- 30:06Speaker 4: to another girl and I heard him tell her, You're
- 30:10Speaker 4: unlike anybody I've ever met before.
- 30:12Speaker 3: And then he came back to me and he told
- 30:15Speaker 3: me before I left and got on my Uber because
- 30:18Speaker 3: I was like out of here. He goes, you have
- 30:22Speaker 3: a beautiful soul, and I hope you have a great night.
- 30:24Speaker 4: And I just I think when people say the dating's bad,
- 30:28Speaker 4: it's it's the worst in La.
- 30:30Speaker 3: I'm telling you right now, beautiful soul.
- 30:33Speaker 4: I was like, you talked to me for fifteen minutes
- 30:34Speaker 4: and you bought me a Heineken.
- 30:36Speaker 2: But well that okay, you know what set your standards hire. Okay,
- 30:40Speaker 2: I have one more question here. Okay, I have one
- 30:43Speaker 2: more question having sex.
- 30:48Speaker 6: Okay.
- 30:49Speaker 2: I don't drink out of paper cuts. I don't sit
- 30:53Speaker 2: on the toilets in public bathrooms like I'm a hygiene freak.
- 30:57Speaker 2: So you can imagine what I think about sexually transmitted diseases.
- 31:03Speaker 2: I can't wait to get one. So I have to
- 31:07Speaker 2: tell you, I'm going to admit to what I did.
- 31:08Speaker 2: I'm going to because no one's listening to this podcast ever,
- 31:12Speaker 2: using no names.
- 31:13Speaker 3: What did you do?
- 31:14Speaker 2: Okay? I this guy that I met wanted to sleep
- 31:20Speaker 2: with me. And remember, I'm the girl that looks in
- 31:22Speaker 2: your eyes and I can tell you. But stupidly, I
- 31:26Speaker 2: gave this guy a second date, and there in lies
- 31:28Speaker 2: the rub. On that second date, he told me how
- 31:32Speaker 2: he can't believe I'm admitting to this. He wanted to
- 31:36Speaker 2: sleep with me, wanted to have sex with me, and
- 31:38Speaker 2: I'm thinking of my in my head, what I'm thinking
- 31:42Speaker 2: is hell has frozen over when that happens. But what
- 31:46Speaker 2: I say to him is the right to remove this
- 31:53Speaker 2: from this podcast. I said to him, you need I
- 31:56Speaker 2: need to see blood work. You know I need see
- 32:00Speaker 2: I need to see a clean bill of health. And
- 32:04Speaker 2: you're not messing around, Kathy. Here's what I thought.
- 32:06Speaker 3: You would just take their word for it.
- 32:08Speaker 2: Hell no, hell no, I'm kidding. Here's what I thought.
- 32:12Speaker 2: I thought. You know what, he's going to go away
- 32:13Speaker 2: from this evening. He's going to get sober. I was sober.
- 32:17Speaker 2: He's going to realize I'm not doing that. Like no,
- 32:20Speaker 2: but no, this idiot goes and brings A week later,
- 32:25Speaker 2: calls me and he comes up. I'll be damned. He
- 32:29Speaker 2: brings me a labsheet and he says to me and
- 32:32Speaker 2: he's clean right, And oh my god, he said. And
- 32:36Speaker 2: he goes, you know, I paid seven hundred dollars for
- 32:39Speaker 2: this test, and I'm telling Evy this story today and
- 32:42Speaker 2: she goes, did he have health insurance? Emoyed gen Z
- 32:47Speaker 2: or gen X or what again? Whatever you are? And
- 32:50Speaker 2: so I looked at him and I said I wasn't serious,
- 32:58Speaker 2: and he sort of got a little upset, and I said,
- 33:00Speaker 2: but here's the good news. Here's the good news. The
- 33:03Speaker 2: next girl you date, you could just bring this like
- 33:06Speaker 2: on the first date and show her like asume. So
- 33:10Speaker 2: that's your part of your resume, your CV. So here's
- 33:12Speaker 2: my question for you. Do do people your age worry
- 33:17Speaker 2: about STD?
- 33:18Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.
- 33:19Speaker 2: I feel like if you're having sex on the first
- 33:21Speaker 2: date and it's on a calendar, J John Sammy Paul, Like,
- 33:26Speaker 2: what do you do to protect yourself?
- 33:28Speaker 4: Well, I feel like these are I'm not just to
- 33:32Speaker 4: set the record straight, there has been no Sammy John Paul.
- 33:36Speaker 2: Or none of those.
- 33:37Speaker 3: I like, I'm just speaking from my single friend.
- 33:40Speaker 2: I don't mean you. I do not mean to insult you.
- 33:43Speaker 2: I just mean in general, So we don't. Yeah, it's
- 33:45Speaker 2: like when the sex meant something. Now it's like, Hi,
- 33:50Speaker 2: how are you? How tall are you? What do you weigh?
- 33:52Speaker 2: What color is your hair? What you know? What's your
- 33:54Speaker 2: astrological sign? And when we're going to bed?
- 33:57Speaker 4: Like I think I think maybe now more than ever,
- 34:01Speaker 4: women are more like protected and worried about STDs because
- 34:04Speaker 4: it's like so much more educated and you know people,
- 34:07Speaker 4: so people are worried about oh one hundred per I
- 34:09Speaker 4: feel like people are getting tested and nobody I mean,
- 34:11Speaker 4: I don't know, like.
- 34:13Speaker 2: Unprotected systems in trouble. We cannot afford to perform.
- 34:17Speaker 3: I think I think women are very aware of that.
- 34:19Speaker 2: Okay, yeah because I but okay, that's good to know
- 34:23Speaker 2: because so many women seem to have sex as as
- 34:29Speaker 2: they get to know you instead of meaning something.
- 34:34Speaker 4: So we all learned something today that before you, before
- 34:36Speaker 4: you go on a date, you need to get They
- 34:38Speaker 4: need to get seven hundred dollars worth of blood.
- 34:41Speaker 2: Well they want if they want to second date with me? Yeah,
- 34:44Speaker 2: probably is going to happen.
- 34:45Speaker 1: Let's close this out with a fun one. Okay, celebrity crush.
- 34:50Speaker 3: Oh gosh, okay.
- 34:52Speaker 1: Think I'm curious to see if they align or if
- 34:55Speaker 1: they're wildly different.
- 34:57Speaker 2: I mean I used to love Alan. But I heard
- 35:01Speaker 2: he's mean, so he's dead to me.
- 35:09Speaker 1: But to Kathy's he is not dead.
- 35:13Speaker 2: Wait, words matter, he is not dead. He's dead to me.
- 35:17Speaker 2: If he's mean, I mean, I think Bradley.
- 35:20Speaker 1: I've heard great things about Alan.
- 35:22Speaker 2: Okay, then let's get him on this show. I want
- 35:23Speaker 2: to him. Hey, wait, I will wait. If you get Alanalda,
- 35:28Speaker 2: I will bypass the blood test for him.
- 35:31Speaker 1: Okay, we have that on tape.
- 35:36Speaker 3: Skip the first first day kiss, right.
- 35:38Speaker 2: Honey, he'll get that. Yeah, hello, are you? He'll get it.
- 35:43Speaker 3: Okay, we'll be writing. He'll be right.
- 35:45Speaker 4: He'll be right along with the gen z who's yours automatically,
- 35:49Speaker 4: Ryan Gosling.
- 35:50Speaker 3: I love him on Hair Blue Eyes.
- 35:55Speaker 2: A Wait, does anyone know who Allanalda is?
- 36:01Speaker 1: Well?
- 36:01Speaker 2: I do. I'm sorry, you know I could be his
- 36:07Speaker 2: younger wife. I wouldn't that be fun to date a
- 36:10Speaker 2: guy who says I got me a hot young thing.
- 36:14Speaker 2: There we go, of course he does say all do.
- 36:21Speaker 2: It's time for a change, Kathy.
- 36:24Speaker 4: I just want to say I had so much fun
- 36:25Speaker 4: with you today, our car ride.
- 36:28Speaker 2: Another one tomorrow.
- 36:29Speaker 3: I'm going right back down there later tomorrow.
- 36:30Speaker 2: I just got to get my textings. I gotta get
- 36:33Speaker 2: you know, I got a lot of I got a
- 36:34Speaker 2: lot of going on here.
- 36:35Speaker 1: Well, thank you both for being so open and honest
- 36:38Speaker 1: and vulnerable with me tonight. This has been so much fun.
- 36:41Speaker 1: Heavy and Kathy just the absolute greatest. Do you need
- 36:44Speaker 1: some advice on how to navigate life? In chapter two?
- 36:47Speaker 1: Call us or email us. All the infos in the
- 36:48Speaker 1: show now it's follow us on socials. Make sure to
- 36:51Speaker 1: rate and review the podcast I do Part two and
- 36:53Speaker 1: I heard radio podcast where falling in love is the
- 36:56Speaker 1: main objective.