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163. Empower Leadership | Emotional Intelligence · The Kathie Owen Perspective Podcast

• 0:00
  Kathie: Leadership, especially leading with compassion is one of my heartfelt favorites and here's why.
• 0:10
  Kathie: It happens in the corporate wellness industry and leading with compassion and the role of emotional intelligence is super helpful.
• 0:20
  Kathie: and important to understand.
• 0:23
  Kathie: And that's what we're talking about today.
• 0:26
  Kathie: You're listening to Kathie's Coaching Podcast.
• 0:29
  Kathie: I'm your host, Kathie Owen.
• 0:31
  Kathie: So effective leadership extends beyond traditional management strategies to encompass a deeper understanding of human emotions and well being.
• 0:41
  Kathie: At the heart of this approach lies emotional intelligence.
• 0:46
  Kathie: A crucial attribute that empowers leaders to navigate complex interpersonal dynamics, foster a culture of empathy, and prioritize the holistic well being of their teams.
• 1:00
  Kathie: Today we're going to dive deep into the significance of emotional intelligence in corporate wellness leadership and explore how leaders can cultivate empathy, self awareness, and relationship management skills to better support their team's overall well being.
• 1:19
  Kathie: You know, it's funny this topic comes up today because one of the VPs in a company that I work with brought this up in a meeting with his team, the team leaders, and he's going to be discussing emotional intelligence and relevance to leading a team.
• 1:39
  Kathie: Why is this important?
• 1:41
  Kathie: To me, it is because as a leader, we need to be aware of when we are acting.
• 1:47
  Kathie: as a victim, as well as be aware of when we are acting as a victimizer to our team.
• 1:55
  Kathie: And I talk about this cycle all the time in my content.
• 2:00
  Kathie: In the victim, victimizer, I'm going to have on my YouTube channel and inside the blog post that goes along with this, the picture of the triangle.
• 2:09
  Kathie: At the top of the triangle, there is a victor.
• 2:13
  Kathie: At the bottom of the triangle on each corner, there is a victim and a victimizer.
• 2:19
  Kathie: And whenever we confront a situation where we're with somebody and we disagree about something, and it doesn't even have to be an argument, it comes to where somebody's right or somebody's wrong or somebody's not doing this job the way I told them to do it, etc.
• 2:40
  Kathie: Et cetera.
• 2:41
  Kathie: There's a victim and a victimizer at the bottom of the triangle.
• 2:45
  Kathie: So if you feel like you've been victimized by your team leader, you're going to go into victim mode.
• 2:53
  Kathie: And there is this circle eight at the bottom of this triangle where you're going from victim to victimizer, victim to victimizer.
• 3:03
  Kathie: So the team lead says, Hey, I need you to do this, this, and this.
• 3:08
  Kathie: And.
• 3:09
  Kathie: The person only does one of those three things.
• 3:12
  Kathie: And when they only do one of those three things, the team lead is like, Well, I told you to do all three.
• 3:17
  Kathie: Why didn't you do all three?
• 3:19
  Kathie: Well, this is where emotional intelligence comes in, because we want to be aware of why maybe they thought the way they did.
• 3:28
  Kathie: Maybe they didn't realize they needed to do all three, or maybe things weren't quite right.
• 3:32
  Kathie: Fixed the way they wanted it to be and maybe they just didn't understand.
• 3:37
  Kathie: And when we become self aware and when we become aware we go up into Victor and we don't victimize and we also don't become a victim ourselves because what can happen is if somebody stays too long in victim mentality they will start victimizing and it's a never ending cycle.
• 3:58
  Kathie: The only way out of it is to go into Victor.
• 4:01
  Kathie: and become emotionally aware, self aware of how you are expressing your emotions, and how you view the situation.
• 4:09
  Kathie: And that's what we're talking about today.
• 4:13
  Kathie: Because when we are aware of emotions and those that we are leading, we can maintain true leadership qualities, and our team will follow in suite.
• 4:22
  Kathie: Ideally.
• 4:25
  Kathie: So what is emotional intelligence?
• 4:27
  Kathie: Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to recognize, understand, and manage both our own emotions and those of others.
• 4:36
  Kathie: It encompasses four key components.
• 4:40
  Kathie: Number one, self awareness.
• 4:42
  Kathie: This is the ability to recognize and understand your own emotions, your strengths, your weaknesses, and their impact on others.
• 4:52
  Kathie: Number two is self regulation.
• 4:54
  Kathie: This is the capacity to manage and control one's emotions, your impulses, and your reactions, especially in challenging or stressful situations.
• 5:05
  Kathie: Number three, empathy.
• 5:08
  Kathie: This is the skill of understanding and empathizing with emotions, perspectives, and experiences of others, fostering deeper connections and relationships.
• 5:20
  Kathie: And then number four, Relationship Management.
• 5:23
  Kathie: The ability to effectively navigate interpersonal relationships, communicate with empathy, and resolve conflicts constructively.
• 5:33
  Kathie: These four things Incompass emotional intelligence.
• 5:39
  Kathie: So that's self awareness, self regulation, empathy, and relationship management.
• 5:47
  Kathie: I also want to include some key books that I have read on emotional intelligence and leadership.
• 5:53
  Kathie: And number one is the book by Daniel Goldman titled Emotional Intelligence.
• 5:59
  Kathie: This is the groundbreaking book that redefines what it means.
• 6:03
  Kathie: To be smart.
• 6:04
  Kathie: Yes.
• 6:05
  Kathie: Why?
• 6:06
  Kathie: Emotional intelligence matters more than time.
• 6:10
  Kathie: Intellectual intelligence.
• 6:13
  Kathie: And this is a number one bestseller.
• 6:16
  Kathie: I'll have a link to the book in the show notes and description below.
• 6:19
  Kathie: And then of course, Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek.
• 6:24
  Kathie: He's the author of Start With Why.
• 6:27
  Kathie: But Leaders Eat Last is why some teams pull together and why some teams don't.
• 6:32
  Kathie: These two books put them together.
• 6:35
  Kathie: Understand them will help with your emotional intelligence in leadership positions.
• 6:41
  Kathie: And honestly, it doesn't matter if your title has a leader on it or not.
• 6:47
  Kathie: This applies to you because you are a leader at some aspect in your life, whether it be your home, whether it be your social life, whether it be something that you have going on in the moment, you are a leader.
• 7:02
  Kathie: in your own life.
• 7:03
  Kathie: Remember that as we continue today.
• 7:08
  Kathie: So the significance of emotional intelligence in corporate wellness leadership is this.
• 7:14
  Kathie: It's, it's where the well being of employees is paramount.
• 7:19
  Kathie: Emotional intelligence plays a pivotal role in driving positive outcomes.
• 7:24
  Kathie: And here's why emotional intelligence is essential for effective leadership in this context.
• 7:32
  Kathie: Number one, cultivating empathy.
• 7:34
  Kathie: Empathy lies at the core of of compassionate leadership and is instrumental in understanding and addressing the diverse needs and experiences of team members.
• 7:46
  Kathie: Leaders with high emotional intelligence can empathize with their employees, with their challenges, with their concerns and their aspirations, fostering a supportive and inclusive work environment.
• 7:59
  Kathie: So empathy, remember we talked about that just a moment ago, but it is the skill of understanding people's emotions, their perspectives, their experiences.
• 8:09
  Kathie: We all have different experiences.
• 8:11
  Kathie: We all have different emotions.
• 8:14
  Kathie: And, When there is empathy in relationships, it fosters a deeper connection.
• 8:22
  Kathie: Number two, promoting psychological safety.
• 8:26
  Kathie: Psychological safety is characterized by a climate of trust.
• 8:30
  Kathie: Respect and openness and it is essential for fostering well being in the workplace.
• 8:36
  Kathie: Leaders with strong emotional intelligence create a safe space where employees feel comfortable expressing themselves, seeking support and sharing feedback without fear of judgment or reprisal.
• 8:50
  Kathie: Oh lordy, this is the reason I Started on my corporate wellness journey.
• 8:57
  Kathie: I have been a corporate wellness professional for 11 years now.
• 9:02
  Kathie: And back in February of 2023, I ran into a problem where I was not psychologically safe in the workplace.
• 9:12
  Kathie: I was threatened because I wasn't clocking in and out.
• 9:15
  Kathie: I had never clocked in and out.
• 9:17
  Kathie: I am what they call an employee who is not.
• 9:23
  Kathie: over certain people.
• 9:24
  Kathie: I'm not a manager.
• 9:25
  Kathie: I'm not a team lead.
• 9:27
  Kathie: I don't even think team leads qualify for salary employment, but we switched over to a new system and my supervisor called me in her office and she had HR in the office and HR had a notebook and I'm like, what the freak?
• 9:45
  Kathie: Am I getting fired?
• 9:47
  Kathie: I felt unsafe.
• 9:51
  Kathie: There was no psychological safety.
• 9:53
  Kathie: The conversation started out like this.
• 9:56
  Kathie: Kathie, you're not clocking in and out.
• 9:59
  Kathie: Back in 2012, you told us you were not clocking in and out.
• 10:05
  Kathie: I said, that's not what I said, but okay.
• 10:09
  Kathie: And I was petrified.
• 10:12
  Kathie: I almost quit the job that I absolutely love because I felt Not understood.
• 10:21
  Kathie: Granted, a year and a half later, I have talked to the CEO of the company, I've talked to HR, everything worked out just fine, and actually it's better.
• 10:31
  Kathie: I make a lot more money because I clock in and out.
• 10:35
  Kathie: And that conversation was dysfunctional.
• 10:38
  Kathie: Why?
• 10:39
  Kathie: Because there was no empathy.
• 10:41
  Kathie: Because there was no psychological safety.
• 10:44
  Kathie: And we're going to go to number three where we're talking about enhancing communication with emotional intelligence.
• 10:52
  Kathie: Effective communication is the cornerstone of successful leadership, particularly in the context of wellness initiatives.
• 11:00
  Kathie: I'm the corporate wellness director and I did not feel psychologically safe.
• 11:05
  Kathie: I was not communicated with properly and I have seen this happen so many times in my department and I hate to, to bring this up because I feel like I'm calling out this leader but she, she's a really great person.
• 11:20
  Kathie: Here's where the emotional intelligence of myself comes into play.
• 11:24
  Kathie: I understand what she's trying to do.
• 11:27
  Kathie: And in fact, this person has told me she does not want this initiative on campus.
• 11:32
  Kathie: She specifically told me that.
• 11:34
  Kathie: She goes, no offense to you, but I would not have a gym on campus if it was up to me.
• 11:40
  Kathie: Oh, okay.
• 11:41
  Kathie: That just feels so wonderful.
• 11:43
  Kathie: Let me tell you, you, there was no empathy.
• 11:46
  Kathie: There's no communication.
• 11:47
  Kathie: There's no psychological safety.
• 11:49
  Kathie: So why am I going to communicate with you in a way where I'm going to get feedback on my job?
• 11:56
  Kathie: You don't even want me here.
• 11:58
  Kathie: I've even heard her say to other people in my department, Oh, Kathie just does her own thing.
• 12:05
  Kathie: We just let her do her own thing.
• 12:06
  Kathie: Well, yeah, that's true, but I sure would like my input from my supervisor, but I don't even look at her as my supervisor because the communication has never been there.
• 12:17
  Kathie: The safety has never been there.
• 12:19
  Kathie: The empathy has never been there.
• 12:21
  Kathie: And so, therefore, I just bypass it.
• 12:24
  Kathie: It's just something I don't even look at.
• 12:26
  Kathie: And imagine in a workplace, there's other people that don't even have the power to bypass it because they've got to deal with people like that.
• 12:34
  Kathie: And that is where I come into play.
• 12:38
  Kathie: This is why I started my corporate wellness program.
• 12:41
  Kathie: This is why I focus on corporate wellness.
• 12:44
  Kathie: In a nutshell, this was why.
• 12:47
  Kathie: I mean, I love my job.
• 12:48
  Kathie: I get to train people all the time, I get to work out, I get to understand people's wellness initiatives, what's going on, how they're feeling, how they're feeling mentally, physically.
• 13:00
  Kathie: It, it's so rewarding at the same time to sit there and be And I just close my mind to those shutdowns.
• 13:11
  Kathie: I don't look at the 3D world, what's going on out there.
• 13:15
  Kathie: I go, what's going with my intuition, with my inside.
• 13:22
  Kathie: Which leads me to number four, which is building resilience.
• 13:27
  Kathie: Obviously, that's exactly what I did.
• 13:30
  Kathie: I built resilience in a stressful workplace environment and resilience is key to navigating challenges and maintaining your well being.
• 13:42
  Kathie: Leaders who possess emotional intelligence can support their teams in building resilience by providing encouragement, modeling adaptive coping strategies, and fostering a culture of learning, See, this is why I do what I do and how I built resilience started many, many, many years ago.
• 14:05
  Kathie: I've built resilience over my life through all of the struggles that I may have embraced.
• 14:11
  Kathie: And I look back at those and I go, wow, I got over that.
• 14:14
  Kathie: I got over that.
• 14:15
  Kathie: I get over that.
• 14:16
  Kathie: I can get over this.
• 14:18
  Kathie: And I got over that.
• 14:20
  Kathie: And in fact it was the fuel that set my fire to changing workplaces where this takes place.
• 14:30
  Kathie: So the significance of emotional intelligence and corporate wellness leadership is it cultivates empathy, number one.
• 14:38
  Kathie: Number two, it promotes psychological safety.
• 14:41
  Kathie: Number three, it enhances communication.
• 14:44
  Kathie: And number four, it builds resilience.
• 14:49
  Kathie: While some individuals may naturally possess higher levels of emotional intelligence, It is a skill that can be cultivated and developed over time.
• 15:00
  Kathie: And here are some strategies for cultivating emotional intelligence in corporate wellness leadership.
• 15:06
  Kathie: Number one is self reflection.
• 15:09
  Kathie: I want to encourage you to engage in regular self reflection.
• 15:13
  Kathie: This helps to enhance self awareness and gain insight into your emotions, your behaviors, and your behavior.
• 15:20
  Kathie: The impact that those emotions and behaviors have on others.
• 15:25
  Kathie: So, self reflection can help you become aware of where you made a mistake with somebody, where you didn't communicate properly with them, because we are going to make mistakes.
• 15:38
  Kathie: In fact, when I go back to my story back in 2023 where I was met by HR and met by my supervisor, I made mistakes myself.
• 15:50
  Kathie: I didn't communicate properly.
• 15:52
  Kathie: There were things that I messed up on.
• 15:54
  Kathie: And self reflection is helpful to help you understand where okay, I did this right, I did this wrong, I can make this better.
• 16:03
  Kathie: And don't shame and condemn yourself.
• 16:05
  Kathie: This is something that I go over with my fitness clients when they're having issues and they can't get past that hurdle.
• 16:14
  Kathie: Just reflect on it.
• 16:15
  Kathie: Understand what works, what doesn't.
• 16:18
  Kathie: We made a mistake.
• 16:19
  Kathie: We will pick up the pieces where we left off and go to the next phase.
• 16:24
  Kathie: And so that leads me to number two, which is active listening.
• 16:28
  Kathie: When you are a leader, practice active listening and active listening is helping you understand, okay, when I'm listening to this person, maybe they're going to express to me why they didn't do those three jobs.
• 16:42
  Kathie: Why they only did one of those three.
• 16:44
  Kathie: When active, listen to them.
• 16:46
  Kathie: Without condemnation, without shame.
• 16:51
  Kathie: It's a foundational skill that enables you to understand other perspectives.
• 16:56
  Kathie: And validate people's emotions.
• 16:58
  Kathie: And build trust and rapport.
• 17:00
  Kathie: So let's go back to my situation where my supervisor was That was just a plain statement.
• 17:08
  Kathie: She did not understand where I was coming from.
• 17:11
  Kathie: I always worked off of salary, was my mindset.
• 17:16
  Kathie: And I hadn't clocked in for years, for eight years.
• 17:19
  Kathie: And all of a sudden, now you want me to clock in?
• 17:22
  Kathie: Just explain it to me and listen to me why I didn't clock in.
• 17:27
  Kathie: I was a believer that I earned what I made.
• 17:32
  Kathie: And you have to trust me.
• 17:34
  Kathie: You have to trust that I'm going to do my job.
• 17:36
  Kathie: In fact, I go above and beyond on my job.
• 17:40
  Kathie: I work from home.
• 17:41
  Kathie: I do things at home all the time that have to do with my job.
• 17:45
  Kathie: This is why I'm going into corporate wellness programs.
• 17:49
  Kathie: Because by teaching those programs, I could teach others how to do this in their company.
• 17:54
  Kathie: And this doesn't, this does the same thing that I do at work.
• 18:00
  Kathie: But at the same time, I'm helping others and if somebody had just taken time and listened to me and validated my emotions, it would have built trust and rapport and that conversation would have never had to take place.
• 18:14
  Kathie: And I promise you, because that leader leads like that and she doesn't practice active listening, she runs into problems all day long because they're, the people are not going to trust her.
• 18:26
  Kathie: They're not going to have rapport with her.
• 18:28
  Kathie: I've even been in her office one time where somebody said, I was talking to her and then somebody was else was in the office and then she turned to that person.
• 18:37
  Kathie: She goes, what do you want?
• 18:39
  Kathie: And that person just said, Oh, I wanted to say good morning and walked away.
• 18:44
  Kathie: And as we walked away together, she said, well, I did have to ask her this, this, and this, but I'll, I'll wait till later till a better time.
• 18:51
  Kathie: What?
• 18:52
  Kathie: What a waste of time.
• 18:54
  Kathie: What a waste of energy.
• 18:55
  Kathie: What a waste of effort, which leads to the next thing, which is empathy training.
• 19:02
  Kathie: It could be very helpful to offer workshops or training focused on empathy.
• 19:07
  Kathie: You could practice empathy building exercises.
• 19:12
  Kathie: Perspective taking activities and role playing scenarios.
• 19:17
  Kathie: And this helps your leaders develop greater empathy and compassion towards their team members.
• 19:22
  Kathie: Because, obviously, my supervisor hasn't had that empathy training.
• 19:28
  Kathie: She didn't understand.
• 19:30
  Kathie: It's, it's so ironic because this leader is such an empathetic person when it comes to personal issues.
• 19:38
  Kathie: She understood that perspective and it just blows my mind that sometimes she has the most awesome empathy.
• 19:47
  Kathie: She's so kind.
• 19:48
  Kathie: She's so nice.
• 19:49
  Kathie: But then sometimes she turns around and she's so mean.
• 19:51
  Kathie: I don't know.
• 19:52
  Kathie: Maybe a workshop would help her where she could practice perspective taking activities and role playing scenarios.
• 20:03
  Kathie: Where she could watch somebody that was in her office that needed to ask her a question.
• 20:08
  Kathie: And you don't say, what do you want?
• 20:10
  Kathie: Like that.
• 20:11
  Kathie: It, it would have helped her to change her perspective on that.
• 20:17
  Kathie: And then conflict resolution skills.
• 20:19
  Kathie: This is also important in emotional intelligence.
• 20:23
  Kathie: You want to provide your leaders with training on conflict resolution techniques, negotiation strategies, and constructive feedback mechanisms to effectively manage conflicts and promote positive relationships within their teams.
• 20:37
  Kathie: Remember that victim victimizer cycle?
• 20:40
  Kathie: So when you have conflict resolution techniques, which takes you to Victor.
• 20:47
  Kathie: Or when you have negotiation strategies which help both sides of the story be heard constructively.
• 20:55
  Kathie: And then you provide feedback mechanisms to effectively manage conflicts.
• 21:01
  Kathie: It promotes positive relationships and therefore your team works better.
• 21:05
  Kathie: They're more productive.
• 21:06
  Kathie: And then there's feedback and coaching.
• 21:11
  Kathie: This is another thing that's never taken place in my job.
• 21:14
  Kathie: I've never been coached on my job.
• 21:16
  Kathie: But I do need the feedback.
• 21:17
  Kathie: It helps me because I want to hear what I'm doing right.
• 21:21
  Kathie: What do you like?
• 21:22
  Kathie: I want to do more of whatever you see working.
• 21:25
  Kathie: But when you offer ongoing feedback and coaching to support your leaders, it develops.
• 21:32
  Kathie: Emotional intelligence.
• 21:35
  Kathie: It encourages open dialogue, it provides constructive feedback, and it also recognizes and celebrates growth and progress.
• 21:46
  Kathie: So emotional intelligence is a fundamental aspect of effective leadership, particularly in the realm of corporate wellness, which is why I include leadership development inside my corporate wellness programs.
• 22:00
  Kathie: Leaders who possess high emotional intelligence can cultivate empathy, self awareness, and relationship management skills to better support their teams and overall well being.
• 22:13
  Kathie: By prioritizing emotional intelligence and fostering a culture of compassion and understanding, Organizations can create environments where employees thrive both personally and professionally.
• 22:26
  Kathie: As we continue to navigate the complexities of the modern workplace, let us lead with compassion and empathy.
• 22:34
  Kathie: Championing the world.
• 22:36
  Kathie: the holistic well being of our teams all right, that's my episode for today.
• 22:43
  Kathie: I trust that you found it helpful.
• 22:45
  Kathie: If you know someone who could benefit from this, please share it with them.
• 22:49
  Kathie: And until next time, I will see you next time.
• 22:52
  Kathie: Peace out and Namaste.