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Authentic Leaders are Servants First with Leadership Expert, Dan Owolabi · Authentic Living

• 0:01
  Welcome to authentic living with Roxanne, a place where we have conscious conversations
• 0:08
  about things that really matter in our lives.
• 0:12
  And now here's your host, Roxanne Derhodge.
• 0:37
  Hi, everyone.
• 0:37
  It's Roxanne Durgesh.
• 0:39
  Thanks for tuning in again this week.
• 0:41
  This week, I have a colleague Dan Oh oh, Labby.
• 0:45
  Is that correct, Dan?
• 0:46
  Oh, I see it correctly?
• 0:47
  Yeah.
• 0:47
  That's good.
• 0:49
  Dan's a colleague of mine from a mastermind coaching, program that we've, both been
• 0:55
  involved with, for quite a while and we're both professional speakers.
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  So, Dan, thanks so much for coming in and giving us your time today.
• 1:03
  Good to be here.
• 1:04
  So
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  I'm gonna tell you a little bit about Dan's background, and, we're gonna get we're gonna
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  get into talking about servant leadership, which is, I I love the concept and, how to be
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  authentic in in servant leadership So Dan's, always believed in the greatest leaders of
• 1:20
  servants first.
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  That's why he's made his decision to help others achieve exceptional results by leading
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  from a mindset of serving.
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  Drawing on his talent for storytelling, which I've heard, which is amazing and is a passion
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  for connecting with others.
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  Dan has spent almost 15 years, working to empower those around him.
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  After being a teacher and a pastor, he has developed his passion for developing leaders to
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  a wider audience, and he's now the executive director of branches worldwide and travels the
• 1:52
  world identifying and investing in leaders.
• 1:56
  So, Dan, is there anything that I've missed that maybe you wanna highlight in your bio?
• 2:01
  No.
• 2:01
  No.
• 2:01
  That that kinda hits most of it.
• 2:03
  Yep.
• 2:04
  Okay.
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  Perfect.
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  So what I would like to do is kind of, obviously, you ended up in in leadership.
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  So you've got a, you know, you've had a different path that Tell me a little bit about
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  your story and kinda where you began and, kinda what how it led you into becoming a pastor and
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  now becoming a keynote speaker.
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  Yeah.
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  Yeah.
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  Absolutely.
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  So, you know, the short version of my story is that, my my family is a really unique family.
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  My mom and dad were both deaf.
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  I mean, they couldn't hear.
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  They were both 1st generation, immigrants to the United States from Nigeria.
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  So if you think about their their journey and the way that they came into the job market.
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  It was just really difficult, not being able to speak the language or even speak at all, not
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  being from the country.
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  But for me being able to watch them, grow and develop and become leaders in the community,
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  leaders in the region, it was really inspiring.
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  Saw a lot of things that I probably couldn't have learned anywhere else about servant
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  leadership.
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  So we'll probably talk about that a little bit later in the podcast, but, So my mom and dad,
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  both deaf.
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  My dad was a pastor.
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  So being a being a ministry was kinda like the family business.
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  And in a lot of ways, I kinda saw the insides and outsides of it.
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  You know, when I graduated from college, I became a a teacher and then really felt called
• 3:25
  to go back into ministry where for a long time, I had kind of resisted it.
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  I was a pastor for for 10 years, it was a great experience.
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  Met a lot of great people, helped a ton of people and really got to live out a passion of
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  mine.
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  But then it came time for a transition.
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  I was ready for a new challenge and, I gave a talk at a conference about servant leadership.
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  And, you know, I went in there and kinda just did my best and it it was a smash hit.
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  I mean, it was it was way better than I expected, and I think it was, something that
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  really kind of tapped into something deep in me.
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  And so From there, I started a, speaking company because a lot of requests started
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  coming in about speaking around the country, around the region, And so, started a company
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  based on that.
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  And then, that's where I am today.
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  So define servant leadership because I think, you know, just by listening to the words, I
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  think I can understand, but I just want you to define it from your perspective.
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  So I people listening could have a an understanding of what that is.
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  Yeah.
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  Absolutely.
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  Yeah.
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  So certain leadership really begins with an attitude of wanting to help people That's
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  that's really where it starts.
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  And oftentimes leaders have an agenda, which they should, you you have a place you wanna go,
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  but servant leadership is really about figuring out where people need to go.
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  And then doing everything you can to help them see what they need and then getting them on
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  board and then taking them there.
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  So the entire time you're taking someone there to a particular place, whether it's, financial
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  health or physical health or becoming a better leader or whatever it is, they're enrolled the
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  whole time and wanting to get themselves, and you're just a guide to help them get there.
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  That's really what servant leadership is all about.
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  So are there specific things that leaders should be considering if they if they think
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  about it.
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  I think most leaders wanna do well.
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  Oftentimes, they are super busy.
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  They can be stressed.
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  I talk a lot about them being their mental well being being the key for them to be in a space
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  so that they can connect to others or re really even be able to absorb what what's happening
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  around them.
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  Sometimes there's they can be up that high that and so stressed that it's difficult for for
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  them to hear.
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  What kind of things works or should leaders consider so that they could be in that space of
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  of serving.
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  Mhmm.
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  Yeah.
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  You know, I'm glad you're asking that Roxanne.
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  I'm actually working on a book right now on that.
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  And one of the pieces of it is making sure exactly talking about making sure that you have
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  a good handle on yourself.
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  So, understanding your own insecurities, understanding your own motivations, Once you're
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  able to get to the heart of that, you can see moments when you attempt to manipulate people
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  to get them to do what you wanna do, and that's not really serving.
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  So if you know yourself well and you're able to lead yourself well, then you put yourself in a
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  position to really lead other people.
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  So once you've settled that, and you understand, okay, I'm okay.
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  You know, I don't really need anything from you.
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  I don't have anything to hide from you, and I don't have anything to prove to you.
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  I just wanna help you.
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  When you're in that position, then it becomes really easy to identify people's needs and then
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  figure out what your needs.
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  So it's all it's it's the opposite of control, really, is what you're talking about.
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  It's about recognizing, okay, at the end of the day, you you you have an objective as a as a
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  leader, a CEO, or a senior executive.
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  Oftentimes, it's the people that, stay too tactical in my experience, so they're the ones
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  that kinda get lost along the way.
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  Just from, you know, my experience in executive consulting, that would oftentimes be what would
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  happen is because and we're gonna use the word communication, which I think is completely
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  overused, but their their direct lines of communication down seems to miss certain key
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  things, that allows the people beneath them you know, to be able to to to siphon the necessary
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  information for people at the front line to stay connected.
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  Right.
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  Right.
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  So servant leadership really is the opposite of that.
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  It's kind of the element of transparency is what you're saying.
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  I'm a normal person.
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  Yeah.
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  I know I'm the, you know, the woman or the man at the top, but, really, I have the same goals
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  as what you do.
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  That's right.
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  That's right.
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  And I'm secure enough to tell you that I'm a normal person and then to connect with you on a
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  human level.
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  Right.
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  So tell me about you know, not to pick on senior leaders, but tell me about some people
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  that you've kind of experienced that have done, maybe gone from not doing it so well, to doing
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  it, very well to be in that space of, servitude.
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  Yeah.
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  Absolutely.
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  So I worked with a with an executive about 3 years ago.
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  And when he first started in his role, he was very much command and control.
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  Mean, one of the things that really stuck out to me about him was when he would write emails,
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  he would use all caps on a regular basis, like screaming at people.
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  Yeah.
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  Yeah.
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  But his level of self awareness was low enough that he didn't understand.
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  Even that, you know, you don't understand how much that said to people he was focused much
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  more on the the project than, you know, the content of of his words, but not so much
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  exactly how he said it.
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  And so, you know, we work together and eventually, he got to a point when he was
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  really doing a lot of things with his team that had very little to do with the actual
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  objectives and much more to do with connecting with them.
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  And so, for example, where he would do, staff meetings at his office across the desk you
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  know, huge desk.
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  He realized the impression in that huge office, huge desk.
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  So he would go to them on location and then he would take a walk with them in the parking lot.
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  So it's a shoulder to shoulder side by side walking in nature, that kind of conversation.
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  And suddenly, he found that people were much more willing to tell him the real answers about
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  what was going on in the community and in the business.
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  As opposed to the right answer when he was sitting across the table from them.
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  And that helped him get to his objectives much faster.
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  He was able to slow down and actually create an environment that was serving people.
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  He found that he was able to move much quicker.
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  So just the humanness of that individual is what's what what people experience because,
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  obviously, you know, you kinda think of your boss.
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  Like, I'm sure you've had bosses over the over the years like I have, and then you kinda
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  think, okay, if there's a respectful, separation you need to have because, obviously,
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  you report to them.
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  I've absolutely.
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  But what you talk about, what I hear you saying clearly is that that senior person is
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  recognizing and not utilizing that space with the employee.
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  They're just saying, yes.
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  We do have these different roles, but inadvertently, we are really trying to to
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  connect on a on a deep level.
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  I'll give an example, you know, I I worked with, a CEO and I was going out to meet with
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  them 1 quarter, and I'm walking into, you know, the corporate building, and he's out front.
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  And there's somebody trying to I think it was like, I don't know if it was, someone disabled
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  or, you know, just kind of probably panhandling or something like that.
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  And he stopped.
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  And now I make I'm coming up and I'm stopping, and he's talking to this person that I'm
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  talking.
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  We get engaged.
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  So we start to talk about, you know, he says to me, what is it about?
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  We were joking around because I knew him pretty well.
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  He said, What is it about your face that people stop to talk about you?
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  He says, because I have the same thing.
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  And I said, because I often, you know, I grew up in, Trinidad, Tobago, And I grew up with a
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  father who was an executive, and he all he always said, feed everybody with the same
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  respect.
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  You never know who you're gonna meet.
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  You know, it could be the person that's opening the door for you in the front of the building,
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  to maybe the person that could be the if you've never really know who you're talking to, so to
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  treat people with the same respect.
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  You know?
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  And clearly, that particular day, we were talking about it, and he said, he said to me,
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  here I'll say, that's what I do.
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  He says, I just treat people, the way I wanna be treated, regardless of who they are.
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  Yeah.
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  Yeah.
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  That's good.
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  That's good.
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  That's good.
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  And I would imagine that sort of consistency over time would really build a lot of rapport a
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  lot of respect among your colleagues and among your customers.
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  Yeah.
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  That's great.
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  So for people that are listening, whether they're in HR or that are having to coach some
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  of these CEOs or just set a a senior executive, you know, kind of table.
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  Maybe they have someone that is a bit more difficult to deal with.
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  What kind of things would you suggest that they start to do or start to consider doing to maybe
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  shift someone like that that may be a bit more tactical and and and objective driven to have
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  them get more into a place of servitude.
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  Yeah.
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  Yeah.
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  No.
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  That's right.
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  You know, oftentimes when people are are drivers like that and they they really wanna
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  sort of achieve an objective at the expense of their team.
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  Oftentimes they don't really know the damage that they're doing.
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  And giving them an opportunity to really see that and see how it's slowing them down.
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  That's the key.
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  And so assuming the HR director or whoever it is, doesn't have a good relationship with that
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  person.
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  I would suggest 2 things to start.
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  Establish mutual trust, meaning establish a mutual respect for each other and then also
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  establish, mutual purpose.
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  Like, hey, Bob.
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  We're after the same thing here.
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  We both wanna cheap.
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  We both wanna build this building.
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  We both wanna do this thing.
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  But understand the way that you're doing it isn't necessarily helping you.
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  And so, you know, as an HR representative, what you'd wanna do is you wanna put yourself in a
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  position to say, we're after the same thing.
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  I'm trying to help you.
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  And so if he's able or she's able to understand that, the next step is to really show them
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  evidence, just clear evidence of where their behavior is hurting the bottom line or hurting
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  the end goal, that's what I would do.
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  Now I I listened to this, and I think We're leaders in so many parts of our lives.
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  I mean, I know you you have 2 little ones.
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  I I think I remember hearing.
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  And, you know, we are constantly in that space where we we're having to lead.
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  And we often think of leaders sometimes as being, you know, the the senior executives, but
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  we're also having to lead like you said, with your mom and dad in your in your community,
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  your new, you know, your your parents, your friends.
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  There's so many ways that this could be applied.
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  Is it any different with with serving in different relationships to a corporate
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  relationship?
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  Yeah.
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  That's a great question.
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  Not much.
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  There are some differences.
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  You know, for example, when you're in a typical relationship with someone and you make a
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  suggestion, you're not their boss or anything.
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  They they can take it or leave it if they want to.
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  And if they leave it, there really are no consequences for you.
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  I mean, it just it is what it is.
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  They took they chose not to follow your advice.
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  But when you're a corporate relationship or you're in a business relationship in they work
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  for you.
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  If they refuse to take your suggestion, there are some ramifications there, you know.
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  Right.
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  And so I would liken it to you know, spending time with my daughter and spending time with a
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  a couple of employees, you know, if I would say say to one of my employees, hey, I need you to
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  go clean up your office space.
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  They would get a completely different, feeling from me if I then if I ask my daughter, hey,
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  can you clean up a room?
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  I mean, the response I would get would be just night and day.
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  Because in one one relationship I have authority in the other relationship, I have a
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  little less.
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  Right?
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  Or it's just different, if I should say.
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  So that would that would be my experience.
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  For sure.
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  So it's it's you're you're having the different, dynamics in the relationship.
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  But at the end of the day, I would think that even leading with your parenting, you could try
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  to take control, but you know, we know that how well that works.
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  I've been a parent for a long time, but it's, again, you're trying to demonstrate to your
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  daughter potentially certain things that you would like for her to do versus kind of telling
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  her what to do.
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  Yeah.
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  Yeah.
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  You know, to your point, I think, the bottom the the bottom line or the underlying principle
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  behind both relations ships is influence.
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  And if I'm able to get into a position where my daughter understands that I care about her and
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  she understands that I trust her and the suggestions I'm making to serve me but to serve
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  her and serve the family, it's much easier for her to say, yes.
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  I'll do that.
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  And, ultimately, if I resort forcing her to do it by grounding her or doing something like
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  that.
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  It'll work for about, you know, a week or 2, but after a couple years, she's gonna get tired
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  of that.
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  I'm really gonna start to lose inflow.
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  So with your employees, it's the same way.
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  I mean, ultimately, you've got to treat them as if they're, as if they're volunteers.
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  As if at one point they can just walk away and say, you know what?
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  I'm done with this.
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  I'm done with you and I can find another job.
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  And in an economy like this where it's oftentimes hard to find good people.
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  People can walk away faster than you think.
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  And so treating them as if they're volunteers and earning influence with them as opposed to
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  just telling them what to do that's that's the way to go.
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  And serving leadership really helps with that.
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  Now you work with, well, you work with companies.
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  So you also you also coach, and I know you speak.
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  And do you also do trainings, or is it mostly coaching and the speaking?
• 16:45
  Yeah.
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  You know, I I happen to lead an international nonprofit And what we do is we find the best
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  young Christian leaders that we can around the world.
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  And we come alongside them and we give them mentoring and coaching and training to help
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  them become better entrepreneurs and better business leaders.
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  So I spent a lot of time across cultures trying to help people in different parts of the world
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  become better leaders.
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  And sometimes it's through workshops.
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  Sometimes it's through just one on one coaching.
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  But there's a lot of different things you can do to help people grow.
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  So and what what was the
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  It's called branches worldwide.
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  That's the name
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  so tell me where you came up.
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  Obviously, you're a pastor, then you start to speak, then the the sir the, serving element or
• 17:29
  servitude came into, and then you decided that you wanted to start this.
• 17:32
  How long ago did you start this, Dan?
• 17:34
  Branch's worldwide has been up and running for about a year.
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  And we just got our 501c3 are, about a week ago.
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  So, man, we are really excited, but we've taken about to we've taken 2 trips overseas.
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  It's been a fun experience.
• 17:50
  Wow.
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  And where have you gone so far?
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  So far we've been to Thailand.
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  That's the main hub that we've met leaders in.
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  We've got a trip coming up to Nicaragua in Jamaica in about 2 weeks.
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  So, things are moving fast.
• 18:03
  Wow.
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  You're going in my neck of woods in the Caribbean then.
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  Yeah.
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  Yeah.
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  You said, Tobago.
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  Is that where you're from?
• 18:09
  Trinidad.
• 18:09
  Well, it's Trinidad and Tobago, but I was born in Trinidad.
• 18:12
  Okay.
• 18:13
  Okay.
• 18:13
  Good.
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  Or is it any different when you when you take this concept of servant leadership to different
• 18:19
  parts the world compared to North America with you being in the US?
• 18:23
  It is.
• 18:24
  It is.
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  I mean, the underlying principles are the same.
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  Know, putting yourself in a position to want to serve people and then disciplining yourself to
• 18:31
  actually serve people and then finding out what they need.
• 18:34
  I mean, all that is is the same.
• 18:36
  But across cultures, what what you'll find are the, what's the word?
• 18:43
  The interpretation of your behavior is much different than you would think.
• 18:47
  You know, in Thailand, for example, they tend to be a little bit more of a of a friendly
• 18:53
  culture, a relational culture.
• 18:54
  And so moving too fast in a relationship can really burn bridges, but in Germany and in
• 19:00
  England, if you move too slow, people that you're an idiot and they don't want anything to
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  do with it.
• 19:05
  So really getting to the point there, makes a huge difference.
• 19:09
  So what I'm learning is that Even though the the the underlying principles are the same,
• 19:13
  finding out who you're serving and then finding out how to serve them, that's key.
• 19:17
  But, you know, ultimately how you do it, it depends on the region.
• 19:22
  It depends on the person.
• 19:23
  And so that's such such as a case.
• 19:25
  Right?
• 19:25
  Like, because even when people come to Canada from the US and I know with our coaching, it's
• 19:30
  mostly a combination of both, and they often say that Canadians and ice, and the Americans
• 19:34
  are too more to the point.
• 19:35
  Right?
• 19:36
  Yeah.
• 19:36
  Yeah.
• 19:36
  That's right.
• 19:37
  It's but really, it's it's so true.
• 19:39
  It's just so the context depending on the culture might shift how you approach it, but at
• 19:44
  the end of the day, it's you're looking for the same thing, which is ultimately trust.
• 19:48
  Yes.
• 19:49
  Yes.
• 19:49
  And it gives you an servant leadership essentially gives you a North Star because if
• 19:52
  you're a leader, you'll find yourself in all kinds of unusual situations where you're
• 19:56
  interacting with people who didn't grow up in your hometown.
• 19:59
  They don't have the same background that you do.
• 20:01
  And so being able to be ambidextrous if you will and switch from one culture to another
• 20:06
  without losing a step or connect with one sort of person to another sort of person without
• 20:11
  losing a step.
• 20:12
  That makes a huge difference.
• 20:14
  So, Dan, this has been amazing.
• 20:16
  I'm sure we could spend a more time, and I know we have a hard stop, in a couple of minutes.
• 20:21
  So for anyone that's looking, to have you speak or to do some coaching, with them on sovereign
• 20:30
  leadership, where where can everyone reach you?
• 20:33
  Yeah.
• 20:34
  Great question.
• 20:35
  So you can go to my website, danowalabi.com.
• 20:38
  I also have a Facebook page, Oalabi leadership.
• 20:42
  You can message me there.
• 20:44
  You know, but ultimately, what I love to do is I love to talk to, you know, business leaders,
• 20:49
  business owners about how to be more authentic in their relationship with their employees,
• 20:53
  with their family.
• 20:54
  And then ultimately, I love to talk to audiences about how they can use their own
• 20:58
  personal history just to be authentic about who they are and connect with others in a way that
• 21:02
  serves their needs.
• 21:03
  So I'd love to talk to anybody about that.
• 21:05
  Awesome.
• 21:06
  Well, Dan, thanks so much for your time.
• 21:08
  And for people listening, at the end of the day, you know, I talk about being authentic
• 21:12
  connected yourself, through mental well-being.
• 21:15
  Dan talks about, being transparent so people can feel you and experience you regardless of
• 21:20
  the level of the organization that you're in so that you can make a a better impact.
• 21:25
  So think about that.
• 21:26
  Think about what is it that you could do in your position to be a bit more authentic, to
• 21:30
  get connected with those around you so you can make a difference.
• 21:34
  So, again, thanks again, everyone.
• 21:36
  Thanks, Dan.
• 21:38
  I will talk to you soon.
• 21:40
  Thanks for tuning in to authentic living with Roxanne, creating the space for positive,
• 21:45
  healthy change.
• 21:47
  Roxanne is a keynote speaker, psychotherapist, and coach, to work with Roxanne, visit
• 21:53
  rocksandurhaj.com/blueprint We'll see you next time on authentic living with Roxanne.