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Encore: The Mind Thrives on Order · The Missing Secret Podcast

• 0:00
  Kelly Hatfield: Welcome to The Missing Secret Podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield,
• 0:06
  John Mitchell: Hey, and I'm John Mitchell. So the title of our episode today is the mind thrives on order and and obviously Kelly, you know, when you're feeding the succinct articulation of your life to yourself each day, it's creating immense order in your, in your in your mind, right?
• 0:25
  Kelly Hatfield: Yep, absolutely. That clarity provides a ton of order.
• 0:30
  John Mitchell: You know, one thing that you said, that I thought was fascinating, is that once you started doing this methodology, you felt lighter. Would you explain that to our audience?
• 0:43
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, I think it's a perfect it drives home the point of this particular episode perfectly, where we're talking about the mind thriving on order, because so much prior to this methodology, and, you know, implementing this into my life on a daily basis, I had so many like, and I'm sure so many people who are listening will be able to relate to this, where you have so many like half thoughts, like something comes into your awareness, to your consciousness, you think, oh, you know, that's a great idea. Then it kind of starts running around in the background here, in your subconscious, you know, kind of bumping around in there and everything. So half thought, then another thing comes in, oh, I need to do that. You've got this, you know. So I'd have all of these half thoughts going around which were creating a lot of just stress, you know. And so when I would feel lighter, when I say that this methodology helped me feel lighter, it was because by getting things in order and being able to turn half thoughts into full thoughts through some of the different techniques that I've learned, and through this methodology, it would organize what was going on in my head. Everything kind of had a place to live, and it would bring that order in. And so when I said I would feel I felt lighter, it was because I just felt so less stressed my brain was running like a fine oiled machine, instead of this thing that was like, you know, again, just things coming half thoughts coming in and out and not having that clarity to get, you know, so so much more to it than that. But for me, I think when I said lighter, I think I was just, I felt less stressed, right?
• 2:19
  John Mitchell: And I think probably a contributing factor to that is that the habit of deep thinking two times a week, because, yes, you know, that's really taking those half thoughts and fully forming them. And then when with those fully formed thoughts that you really like, then you put them in your your visualization. And you know, I'm always fascinated by this, this ongoing dance between the conscious mind and the subconscious mind, with with your conscious mind figuring out your intentions, and then when you feed it to your subconscious mind that that controls your daily actions and makes your intentions actually show up, and whatever you're feeding yourself, that's who you actually become. Is All You know, fits pretty nicely. You know, I share something with our audience that has been really that illustrates this idea that the mind thrives on order, and it's through music and Kelly, I know I told you this story, but you know, when I moved to Austin, you know, I started playing golf. And, I mean, I'd been playing before, but Austin is much prettier than Dallas, and I lived near a great course, but as I got, you know, in my latter 50s, I'm like, Well, you know, I'm not gonna be a play golf forever, because I have a sort of a bad back that that I had a couple of back surgeries on from playing football. And so I took up blues guitar, and so I started learning how to play blues guitar, and I get in a band, and it was totally fine. It is totally fine. And so I saw that it made me enjoy music more. And the reason is that as I'm learning how to play blues guitar, I had to learn timing and and what that really means is every song is divided into basically four beats, and there's a beat about a second apart from each other, and they continually loop around. And you know now the amount of time between different beats can vary depending on how fast the song is, but on average, it's about a second between each B and when you're playing music, that's important,
• 4:45
  because if you're playing blues and it's you're playing lead guitar, you got to know exactly when you're going to come in and start playing your lead solo, because if you come in at the wrong time, you can tell. Well, the timing is just off. You people hear it in their their ear. And so I'm going to teach our audience how to do this. And so I need a willing participant in you to join me in this. All right, and so I'm going to, I'm going to play the song Billie Jean, and we're going to listen to it, and then I'm going to I'm going to count the beats again. I'm going to go, 12341234, and one of the things you're going to notice is that on the one, you're always going to hear the bass or a distinct note in Billie Jean, you're going to hear the distinct note a little more, especially when the song gets gets going, and so I'm going to count it, and then we'll stop it, and we'll try it again, and you count it, and I want to see how easily it is for you to pick it up. Okay? And it may take us a couple of tries, but the end result is two things. It's going to prove how the mind thrives on order, and it's going to cause you to enjoy music more. So you ready to go? I'm ready. Okay, let's see if I can pull this off. Here we go. You 1234123412341234,
• 6:33
  I'm not sure why it did that.
• 6:35
  Kelly Hatfield: We did a weird skip in it. Yeah, I don't know if it was the connection or Yeah. I 12341234123412341234123412341234123412
• 7:00
  John Mitchell: 123412341234123412341234, so does that sort of make sense?
• 7:16
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, and I think what? So when we're talking about the mind thriving on order, like, what? So what's the connection to what to this exercise?
• 7:25
  John Mitchell: Well, you know, once you're able to get the timing down and count it, you start to see how much order there is in music and and today, when I listen to a song with if I'm really getting into it. Sometimes I'll just count in my head, 1234, and you can it just, it just engages you, and it takes enjoyment of music to a whole new level. Let's if you don't mind, will you try and count it? You think you can count it like I was counting it? I will see
• 8:01
  Kelly Hatfield: I'm not looking at a equalizer or anything like that, so I'm just listening to it,
• 8:05
  John Mitchell: Right, right, yep. Okay, let's you. It's, it's sort of and, oh, the other thing to realize, not only is there distinct note on the one, if there's ever a chord change, it's always on the one, and you can tell that there's a chord change by, you know, the pitch of the song going up or down. So it's, you'll see, without learning a whole lot about music, is pretty powerful. So let's, let's start it sort of right here, a little of the drum beat before the music, but when and you'll have to sort of find your your place. But just start counting. 1234, like I was,
• 8:55
  Kelly Hatfield: 1234123412341234, 2341234, is that right? Is that right? Okay, yeah, now I'll continue it here. Okay, 123412341234123412342,
• 9:20
  John Mitchell: 41234, it's pretty interesting. I think,
• 9:25
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, no, it's very interesting.
• 9:29
  John Mitchell: And so with your favorite song, to our audience. For your favorite song, try that, because I'm telling you, you you'll appreciate how how profound the order in music is, and that's why you like music, because it's order. And you know, especially when you know the song, you know what's coming up. And that's the analogy is, when you're meeting the succinct articulation of your life to yourself each day, you're creating that same level of bore. Were in the mind,
• 10:01
  Kelly Hatfield: I love that. No, that's cool. I had never made that connection before. I thank you for sharing that.
• 10:06
  John Mitchell: You know, it's funny. When I taught it to my class, it's funny. I so I teach it to them, I go through the same thing I just went through, and I go, Okay, now everybody counted 1234, nobody counts it, nobody. And so I see the next time I teach it, I'm going to go, okay, nobody's doing it. I'm like, I want, I want to hear everybody count because they got to experience it to really appreciate it totally, you know, I tell you, the thing that really always comes back to me is how the thoughts that are going on in your head determine not only your success, but your enjoyment of life. You know, isn't that so simple to understand.
• 10:58
  Kelly Hatfield: It really is. And I think too, if you, you know, are listening, and you think about it, think about when you've been in a, you know, like, not a great mood, you know. And like, so the lens you're looking through, and everything that you're looking at, I mean, it goes back to what, what I've said before, whatever you look for, you'll find whatever energy you're bringing to a situation is the energy you're going to get back if you show up, you know, and come in hot, the people are going to come in hot back at you, you know what I mean? And I look at this all the time in interviewing, you know, if somebody comes in and they're all slumped over in their seat, you know, like there, it affects their whole energy and how they show up in the interview. And so I believe that absolutely, the thoughts that are going on in your head you know, are what dictate, you know, the quality of your life. If you're always like bummed out, then bummer things are going to keep happening to you, and you're going to look at everything through that lens and only see those things you know, right?
• 12:00
  John Mitchell: You know, it's my opinion that probably 70 to 80% of people, if you said that the thoughts going on your head determine your success and enjoyment in life, they go, Oh, that's I get out of here. That's a budget. You think that's why
• 12:21
  Kelly Hatfield: I think that, I think that people don't think about this. And so I think that when you first say it, you know, let the thoughts going in, you know, in your the thoughts in your mind, in your head, are determining the quality of your life, you know. And if you really stop to think about it, you know, and be like, Okay, well, what are the thoughts that I have going on, right? You know. And then, am I happy? You know, are my is the outcome and the results that I have, you know? Am I happy with those? I think, right? Well, it requires some clarity first, because I don't think people think about their thoughts at all, right, quality of their thoughts. So I think that's part of why there might be some initial resistance to that idea, is because people really don't evaluate what is going on in their heads and what their thoughts are. You know what I mean? This goes back to that clarity piece, you know? I think that, yeah,
• 13:11
  John Mitchell: So there's, there's a lot of people that are that way, like my best friend Bobby, if I talk to him about this, he's like, it's, it's a he's oblivious to it. He doesn't want to think about it, you know? And that's okay, you know, we're all made a little different and, and I see that for people to embrace this methodology, you got to be, I think, reflective about your life, and be and be a thinker. Because, you know, once you realize that every action, well, let me back up, your actions determine your success, and every action is preceded by a thought. You can't do an action without a thought, then you start to, you know, connect the dots that, Oh, yeah. Then I see where the thoughts going on in my head would affect my success, but it's also affects your enjoyment of life as well, because the thoughts give context to what's going on in your life and and I see that that in life, life is tough. I mean, there's times where life is fabulous, and there's times where it's really, really tough. But if you sort of get this idea that that I'm going to understand how the human mind works, and I'm going to use it to my advantage, and I'm going to influence those thoughts, and the way I'm going to do it is by feeding my ideal life to myself every day. You know, then you start to see, oh, you know, there's this, this constant dance between the conscious mind and the subconscious mind. You know, the conscious mind is created. Creating the ideal you, and recreating your identity. And of course, all that sort of creates order in the mind, just from the fact that you're creating this summary of your life, and you're condensing it down to essentially two pages on the life GPS template. So that's a whole conscious mind thing, and then once you feed that to yourself every day, now you're impacting who you really are, because that's where your thoughts are getting created. And so it's just a powerful thing when you orchestrate that dance between the
• 15:36
  conscious mind and the subconscious mind.
• 15:40
  Kelly Hatfield: No, and I love, you know, going back to and just as we begin to wrap up this conversation on the mind thriving on order, you know, last week or the week before, we talk about it all the time, but that reticular activating system, you know, part of the mind thriving on order is, you know, again, I love to use that analogy of of when you are searching for things in Google, you know, and, and likening that to the reticular activating system, the more refined you know, your search is, the more quality of information that you get back, right? That, when you don't have a lot of clarity, like so many people do, and they're out there scrolling, and they're out there, and then the next thing pops up and they're like, oh, and the next thing pops up and they're like, Oh, I'm going to go this direction. You know, it's an it's overwhelming. But when you have a lot of clarity, and you've, you've, your reticular activating system knows it will exactly, you know what to look for and what you want, then it begins to sort it pushes all that other noise out. You know which, which helps your mind, you know, have order, gives it focus, and that's where so much of the thriving comes into place. Is because you, you know, have given it its instructions. Basically you've given its marching orders. It knows what to do. And now that part of where that order comes from too, right?
• 16:57
  John Mitchell: And you know, it's so important to override being wired for survival, because you know what happens in light of the fact that 95% of your thoughts and actions are unconscious. You know, like you've pointed out, that means that they are controlled by your autopilot, meaning, meaning that you're not consciously taking those actions and having those slides, it's it's all happening automatically in your autopilot. And if you do nothing to impact it, you're innately wired for survival. So all of that is being tainted with a, oh, an influence towards being fear based and reactive. And so, you know, if you're not taking control of it, that's how your thoughts are evolving. They're fear based. They're reactive and and, you know, one of the things that has been fascinating to me in my class is seeing how virtually every one of the students feels like they're not enough. They're not good enough. You know. Keep in mind, these are 20 year olds, and, you know, that's exactly the same thing 40 and 50 year olds feel, except they've got 20 or 30 years more of, you know, negative experiences, and it becomes very ingrained. And I'm like, What a lousy way to live. That's why I was telling Marquez. I'm like, That is a lousy way to live, especially when I'm giving you a way to not live that way to live confidently. I understand because, you know, of course, I'm not throwing them under the bus because I lived that way until I was 50. Oh, yeah, yep. So it's not like throwing them under the bus. I'm just saying, you know, I've lived it both ways, and trust me, it's 1000 times better to live life confidently, focused on what you're trying to accomplish, and even if you're not trying to make millions dollars a year, just being comfortable with who you are as a person. And you know whether your big goal is raising kids really well or whatever, whatever is important to you. You know having a purpose to life is and feeding that purpose to yourself each day, and feeding
• 19:19
  your goals and how you're going to achieve them. It's just a great way to do life. I then
• 19:24
  Kelly Hatfield: Absolutely game changer for sure.
• 19:27
  John Mitchell: Okay, well, until next time, we'll see you.