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Stupid Sexy Selkies · Hocus Pocus Lack Of Focus

• 0:22
  Deal with all this project, the Hocus Pocus Lack of Focus, the
• 0:25
  very uneducational podcast that brings you on a newly divergent
• 0:28
  journey through topics such as witchcraft through crime,
• 0:31
  paranormal activity and a plethora of shy talk.
• 0:34
  Today we will be talking about Selkies, the shape shifting seal
• 0:37
  people of Celtic folklore. With today's episode feeling
• 0:40
  decidedly Gaelic, I have a special introduction.
• 0:46
  Hello there and welcome. My name is Justy and today I
• 0:50
  will be your owl, Shanahi. I'll spin you a yarn of some
• 0:54
  sweet misery. And nor did I mention my baby HT
• 0:58
  Diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle law.
• 1:04
  And may I introduce the man with the facts who struggles to keep
• 1:09
  this old podcast on track. He's a well travelled man by the
• 1:13
  name Ocean or Burn and one day he hopes the Soviet Union
• 1:18
  returns. Diddle diddle, diddle, diddle
• 1:24
  diddle. The next one's as wild as the
• 1:27
  continuity rah and her big mammy milkers put a strain on her bra.
• 1:32
  She's Danny or Thomas and she loves hockey jism and she has a
• 1:37
  weird kind of ocean autism. Delayed diddle Lord, it'll do.
• 1:42
  Delayed it'll, it'll do. So sit back and relax and we'll
• 1:47
  try not to bore. This is Hokkal de pokal de lack
• 1:51
  of folklore. Delayed.
• 1:52
  It'll do. Diddle, diddle do.
• 2:00
  That's, ah, spectacular. That's very, very impressed.
• 2:06
  I can see why you're excited about that earlier on today.
• 2:09
  I just, I just came. I was rocking around with the
• 2:13
  idea. I was like, oh, we're doing a
• 2:14
  kind of a Celtic episode of like what, where we could do it.
• 2:17
  Asha look. Well, I'll do a bit of little
• 2:19
  thing for the totally tropical taste.
• 2:22
  I am just first, first time I've ever done it.
• 2:26
  So that'll be. Theme song now.
• 2:30
  You've set like a bit of a benchmark here because like
• 2:33
  we're going to do some more like Celtic, like Irish, Scottish,
• 2:36
  well, stuff, yeah. And then you're going to have,
• 2:39
  you've set like a very high standard for yourself here now.
• 2:42
  I really hope because I really got into I own
• 2:46
  uncharacteristically done a lot of work for today's podcast
• 2:49
  because I just I kind of fell in love with the idea of the
• 2:54
  selkie. Something that I've I've known
• 2:57
  about but haven't like listened to a lot of the kind of stories
• 3:03
  the the folkloric stories and the days lead not to this.
• 3:07
  I've been absolutely flooding my face with with some selfie
• 3:11
  stories because I just. Also the first episode that you
• 3:14
  haven't threatened to kill yourself so.
• 3:21
  Suicide. Suicide will be a main theme
• 3:24
  during this episode. Yeah.
• 3:28
  Just so you know, just over here.
• 3:30
  Is everyone, though? Everyone's had a good week,
• 3:32
  Everyone's all right. Super duper, yeah.
• 3:35
  I'm doing fucking great. We were talking about our shits
• 3:39
  before we hit record, so we're sorry that you guys had to miss
• 3:42
  that. We probably should have.
• 3:43
  We don't mention it. We're having it.
• 3:45
  Yeah. Lovely little podcast.
• 3:47
  And then, yeah, you've ruined us.
• 3:49
  Yeah, we were going. To talk, we were going to talk
• 3:52
  about weird shape shifting women and now you've ruined it.
• 3:55
  Yeah, like a. Weird shape shifting woman would
• 3:58
  to be fair. Because what way are you going
• 4:00
  to do this? I don't know.
• 4:03
  I was reading the group chat when you guys were trying to
• 4:05
  structure it and I was just like, sure, so whatever,
• 4:08
  whatever you want to do. I have, uh, for the first time
• 4:12
  in my life. Well, the first time since I was
• 4:13
  forced to write stuff in school. I've written this kind of a
• 4:17
  short story, which will take a few minutes, and if you will, if
• 4:21
  you'll indulge me, I kind of. I'm very excited to hear this.
• 4:25
  Very, I would love to hear your. Story.
• 4:27
  Taken some of the kind of themes and some of the the kind of
• 4:30
  tropes from a few of the selfie stories and I've thrown them
• 4:34
  into one to kind of make it like, you know, just just so we
• 4:38
  can have a chat about like the, the different kind of to.
• 4:40
  Bring like multiple elements together, yeah.
• 4:42
  Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I don't know.
• 4:45
  Like again, this is my first time, so if it sounds like a
• 4:49
  child has written it and also I don't read books so I don't know
• 4:54
  how things are structured. So if if you're.
• 4:58
  Just. Going to end it with and it was
• 5:00
  all a. Dream good, Tobin.
• 5:03
  She woke up. No, I will.
• 5:07
  I'll leave it. I will take a constructive
• 5:10
  criticism and anybody who wants to switch off because it's dire,
• 5:15
  I don't blame you. And go.
• 5:16
  Alex. Claire, if you're out there
• 5:18
  listening, yeah, they are our one listener.
• 5:21
  Claire's our favorite Clara quotes the episode every week,
• 5:25
  which is which is proof she actually listens to it, which
• 5:29
  fair play to work. Umm.
• 5:30
  Alex is going to add in some like Moody music here.
• 5:33
  Yeah, that's. Why I like?
• 5:34
  That well, yeah. You think this is me?
• 5:38
  This is me requesting that he does.
• 5:40
  That's how this works. Alex just hears his name and
• 5:43
  he's like OK my bitch wife is asking me to do something all.
• 5:50
  Right, let's go hear your story. OK, justy take it away.
• 5:52
  And here it goes. The moon hung high in the night
• 5:57
  sky as a fisherman stood ankle deep in the cold Atlantic.
• 6:02
  His thoughts were of his beautiful wife as he stared out
• 6:05
  into the unusually calm waters. She passed six months ago while
• 6:09
  giving birth to their second child.
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  Little karmic. His thoughts now drifted to the
• 6:14
  children. Eva was 3 and the image of her
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  mother. It comforted him to look at her,
• 6:20
  but at the same time it broke his heart.
• 6:22
  How would they survive without him, He thought Probably then
• 6:26
  they were doing with him. He felt ashamed of his thoughts.
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  They were there in the bed, in the small cottage.
• 6:33
  Behind them he could see the turf fire, small from the
• 6:36
  chimney, from the beach. If he dared to turn around.
• 6:40
  He didn't, he kept looking out at the moon, like glistening on
• 6:44
  the cold, gently swelling waters.
• 6:47
  His tired eyes filled with tears as he pulled the courage out of
• 6:51
  the pit of his stomach. It's now on every thought as his
• 6:55
  ears broke into the cold night air and rolled down his
• 6:57
  weathered beaten cheeks. As the drops hit the water, he
• 7:01
  wondered if this is how the oceans began.
• 7:04
  His grief could fill an ocean, he thought as he made his first
• 7:08
  and last step. And now he stopped him.
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  His concentration broke as the seal broke the silence of the
• 7:16
  night. At least, he thought it was a
• 7:18
  seal. His eyes were full and blurry.
• 7:22
  It must be a seal, he thought as he raised his hand and wiped his
• 7:25
  eyes. As his vision came back, he
• 7:27
  could hardly believe what he was seeing.
• 7:29
  The most beautiful woman he had ever seen, waist deep directly
• 7:33
  in front of him. She was wearing a beautiful grey
• 7:37
  cloak that shimmered under the light of the green and blue of
• 7:40
  the Aurora to fill the night sky.
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  He hadn't noticed the Northern Lights happening until just that
• 7:45
  moment as she gracefully waded towards him.
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  She was humming a tune he knew but he couldn't play.
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  By the time she stood in front of him, the cloak had slipped
• 7:56
  past her shoulders. Her hair was dark and hung like
• 7:59
  the kelp that washed up on the shore.
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  Strange, he thought, It's born dry.
• 8:05
  He stopped thinking about that as he noticed her eyes, dark and
• 8:08
  deep as the wild Atlantic. Were they grey or green or blue,
• 8:14
  or? He was distracted once again as
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  the cloak now dropped to the sand, revealing her naked form.
• 8:21
  The world stopped spinning for a moment as he took the image in.
• 8:25
  Her skin was as pale as the moonlight, and as he examined
• 8:29
  her, he could not pick one floor.
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  She was a vision of perfection. He wanted to speak, but words
• 8:35
  stuck somewhere between his neck and lips.
• 8:38
  What could he say? Words could not do justice to
• 8:41
  his feelings. Just as he gained the nerve to
• 8:44
  speak, she kissed him. She pressed her lips and then
• 8:47
  wrapped her arms around him. His arms naturally found their
• 8:52
  way around her. She was warm to touch.
• 8:55
  It felt like home. They spent the night in this
• 8:57
  embrace. He had never felt his passions
• 9:00
  rise like this in all his years. The night was bliss as the sun
• 9:05
  broke over the hills behind the cottage.
• 9:07
  He was shocked as his new love was still beside him.
• 9:10
  He thought it might have been a dream.
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  I have to go home, he heard her say.
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  Me too, he thought. He squinted as he looked towards
• 9:18
  his cottage, but she was looking the other way, out into the
• 9:21
  wild. He knew then what he suspected.
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  She was a selkie. His mother used to tell tales of
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  the creatures that shed their animal skin to seduce men on the
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  shore. He never believed it, not until
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  he had lived it. He grabbed her cloak and stood
• 9:37
  in one motion of desperation. He suddenly felt shame.
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  He was ashamed of a lot of things, of him leaving his
• 9:44
  children for the night, the thoughts of ending his life, the
• 9:48
  fact that he hadn't thought of his wife for hours.
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  But the shame he felt most was for what he was about to do.
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  Won't you stay? He asked her.
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  I don't belong. She explained that she raised
• 10:00
  her hands to retrieve her skin. He stepped back and clutched the
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  clock to his chest. I'll give you a good life, he
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  blurted out. You'll be my wife and you'll
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  want for nothing. I don't belong here, she said
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  again. This time her sadness broke her
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  words. With that, he ran to the
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  cottage, leaving her behind. He desperately fumble at the
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  door. He woke karmic as he crashed
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  through the door and the baby started crying.
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  That walk Eva who waited asleep from her eyes before seeing her
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  father stuff something into the eaves of the house where
• 10:31
  detached roof met the crooked walls.
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  He then turned and reassured Ava that everything was all right as
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  he turned his attention to little Carmel.
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  She was next to his cot, the selkie.
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  She lifted the crane child and held him to her breast.
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  He calmed as he felt her warmth. She shushed him and gave him a
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  gentle bounce. Ava was staring at the naked
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  beauty who was holding her little brother.
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  The selkie gave her a smile and even returned it with interest.
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  In that moment, the selkie knew she was needed here and she
• 11:01
  resigned to the fact that she would not be going home.
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  I'll give you a good life. The fisherman said again, this
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  time with a hopeful smile. 14 years had passed.
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  The fisherman had made good on his word.
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  He was kind and generous, and the selkie lived the life that
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  he promised. She learned to make the best of
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  her situation. She even loved the fisherman as
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  his wife. As an incredible mother to EFA
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  and Carmel, she made herself busy by keeping the home.
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  She became a talented seamstress and an amazing cook.
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  One day, as the fisherman and Carmel were out catching the
• 11:38
  night's dinner, EFA was learning to solve from her stepmother.
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  I want to make a claw, she told The sulky. 1 is beautiful as
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  yours. EFA was now 17 and almost a
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  woman, but she remembered the day her new mother came into her
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  life. How could she forget?
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  The selkie's eyes widened. IFA couldn't figure out what
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  colour they were. My claw.
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  The selkie said with a slight panic.
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  The one my daddy put away for you.
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  IFA answered. Where?
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  The selkie leaned close and grabbed IFA's hands in the roof.
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  IFA nodded towards her father's secret hiding place.
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  With that, the selfie left to her feet and ran to the wall.
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  She reached and blindly felt around the eaves of the cottage.
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  Finally, she felt the warm, smooth feeling that was suddenly
• 12:23
  so familiar. She yanked her skin from its 14
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  year resting place and screamed with joy.
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  She ran to the stone leaf and embraced her.
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  Tell your father I'm sorry, but I don't belong here.
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  She stripped as she ran through the door and down to the shore.
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  She dove into the air and twisted as she threw her cloak
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  over her shoulders. There was barely a splash as she
• 12:44
  disappeared into the wild Atlantic.
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  The fisherman heard the water break next to his boat.
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  Looks at Karma. A seal.
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  The fisherman's heart sank. It sank in his chest as he
• 12:57
  turned to what he feared to be true.
• 13:00
  A seal. Who eyes he knew.
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  What colour were those eyes? Bama gave a wave and the seal
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  turned and swam away. She was gone every day since.
• 13:11
  The fisherman stood at the shore, looking out like a
• 13:14
  lighthouse over the sea, waiting for his love to return.
• 13:18
  The children grew and left home. They visited when they could,
• 13:23
  but there he stood. He grew older and 10 as he
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  barely ate her slept. They begged him to forget his
• 13:30
  lost love and to look after himself.
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  The cottage became dirty and dilapidated overtime.
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  For 14 years he kept her in domestic prison and for 14 years
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  after, he was a prisoner to that beach.
• 13:43
  One day, IFA visited the fisherman.
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  He was nowhere to be seen. She wondered if the selfie had
• 13:50
  returned and brought him to her world.
• 13:53
  But she knew the truth. Her father had gone into the sea
• 13:56
  and he too wasn't coming back. Her eyes filled with tears as
• 14:01
  she thought of her father's wasted years.
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  As her ear dropped into the ocean.
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  He heard a splash as the water broke.
• 14:08
  That was fucking great. That was amazing.
• 14:12
  That was really, really good. Yeah, it was.
• 14:15
  So, so like that like it really does like encapsulate all of the
• 14:21
  like the major elements as like Danny is going to get into of
• 14:24
  like selfie lower and like I think like so many like Irish
• 14:28
  mythology and Irish like legends.
• 14:32
  There's like all of these like themes of like sorrow, loss,
• 14:36
  loneliness, grief, like all these like really Irish things
• 14:39
  that we like to sink our teeth. Into miserable bastards, it's.
• 14:42
  Your misery? Really.
• 14:43
  Yeah, yeah. It's it's misery that is like
• 14:46
  wrapped in romanticism. Yeah, it's this.
• 14:49
  Thing of like longing and the romance behind it, but then
• 14:52
  there's also the absolute soul crushing loneliness that drives
• 14:56
  a lot of it and like the the selfie just completely captures
• 15:00
  all. Yeah, I think if I was to give
• 15:03
  myself a bit more time and like for me, the selfie is kind of
• 15:12
  it's what the story is about, but she's not the main player in
• 15:14
  the story here. And if I was to to get some time
• 15:17
  to write an actual story about this like that was that was long
• 15:20
  and drawn out, I'd like to give her a little bit more like
• 15:24
  depth. You know what I mean?
• 15:25
  This story is not really passing the fucking back nail test at
• 15:28
  all. Like, because it is kind of, eh,
• 15:31
  centered on the fishermen and, and how he feels and, and his
• 15:35
  kind of their longing and loneliness and both like it kind
• 15:43
  of at its, at its core, this the, the, the story that I've
• 15:48
  written, Umm, is kind of it. It, it's kind of about the
• 15:54
  fisherman and how he like flawed he is as a man.
• 15:59
  And like, it's also about the selkie and how, you know, eh,
• 16:06
  like female autonomy at the time and like how, what kind of a
• 16:10
  life they would have been like, did the average, eh, you know,
• 16:15
  woman at the time, wife or, or just your average woman really
• 16:21
  at the times like in medieval or, or like a, you know, a
• 16:26
  couple of 1000 years ago, even from whatever everyday stories
• 16:29
  kind of originated, eh, that the woman's place is kind of, it's
• 16:35
  in the home. She's domesticated.
• 16:36
  She's, she's a kind of a prisoner to the lifestyle and
• 16:43
  the kind of a society that they had at the time.
• 16:46
  And it's not women. I suppose there is a wildness to
• 16:54
  them that it's it's like a like you capture any kind of an
• 17:01
  animal. And not to say that women are
• 17:04
  animals, but like when you put something into the zoo, let's
• 17:09
  say you get like a, a, a beautiful fucking bird of
• 17:13
  paradise and you take it out of its natural habitat and you put
• 17:17
  it in a cage. It's not the bird of paradise
• 17:21
  that it was. It might sing a song, but it's
• 17:24
  not singing the songs of the jungle anymore, if you get me.
• 17:28
  Yeah. So again, not to compare, not to
• 17:31
  compare women to animals, but because like this is such like
• 17:34
  an allegory. Do you remember years ago there
• 17:37
  was a polar bear in Dublin Zoo? Oh my God, yes.
• 17:39
  This is this is what I always the egg, right?
• 17:43
  The polar bear in Dublin Zoo. Literally got fucking depressed
• 17:48
  and was just like sitting in the corner.
• 17:50
  Back and forth. Walking back and back and forth,
• 17:53
  like at one stage it was head building a wall and it was just
• 17:55
  like it like it knew that it was captain.
• 18:00
  It knew that it was like in this place, it shouldn't be in it.
• 18:03
  And it was lonely, you know, like, and it was like, I
• 18:05
  remember people like hearing people who were like went to see
• 18:08
  it. And they were just like, I am
• 18:09
  depressed after seeing that bear because like, you can see that
• 18:12
  that bear is upset. I have literally used the polar
• 18:18
  bear in Dublin Zoo as an example while I was in therapy.
• 18:24
  Yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah.
• 18:27
  Like I, it was how I was feeling at the time of like, yeah, you
• 18:31
  know, being kind of, it was after COVID and I was just going
• 18:36
  through like the, the emotions of like feeling captive within,
• 18:44
  like the world. I used to feel like such a wild
• 18:47
  person, yeah. You were very, so you were
• 18:49
  always very social. As well.
• 18:51
  Yeah. And I think like there was a
• 18:52
  regression for me. Jordan Corvid and exactly like
• 18:55
  what, eh, what you were saying there about the polar bear.
• 18:58
  That's exactly the, the, umm, the example that I, I gave to,
• 19:04
  to try and explain how I was feeling at the time.
• 19:07
  And yeah, this very coincidental that you might actually bring
• 19:10
  that up, because in my head, before I said a bird of
• 19:13
  paradise, because I wanted to keep it a little bit more
• 19:15
  feminine, in my head, I was thinking of that polar bear in
• 19:18
  Dublin Zoo. That's like it's such a so
• 19:21
  there's a place that's near here.
• 19:23
  It's called like Longley. It's like a best of fire.
• 19:26
  Yeah, yeah. TV shows very good.
• 19:29
  Yeah, but they most of those animals are like bred in
• 19:35
  captivity. So you don't kind of get that
• 19:39
  that dead look in the animal's eyes.
• 19:41
  I think you can tell like a mile away the ones that aren't bred
• 19:45
  in captivity or they're either there for some kind of injury
• 19:50
  and they can't be rehabilitated. Like they can't be released.
• 19:53
  They have to stay there. Like you can tell it like a mile
• 19:55
  off as well with those animals. And it's like it is really sad
• 19:58
  with that polar bear. Like I the first obviously like
• 20:01
  going up to Dublin for the day was a fucking massive treat.
• 20:03
  You had to overnight at the fucking beehive.
• 20:07
  This is still there, yeah. Go by fucking horse and carriage
• 20:13
  like in the 90s and like I remember like we we only got to
• 20:16
  go because my dad borrowed someone's car.
• 20:18
  He was off for the week, but we went up and my cousin.
• 20:22
  Yeah, me, my mom, my dad, my cousin and that bear just even
• 20:26
  now I can still see it. I've only ever seen it once.
• 20:29
  I'm was maybe about 8 or 9 and that that still sticks with me
• 20:34
  as just a meal. And he was grey, like he wasn't
• 20:37
  white, certainly mean he just didn't look.
• 20:40
  And he was really, really skinny and like obviously because he's
• 20:42
  not fucking catching and eating like seals and stuff like that.
• 20:46
  Like he's not getting like the diet that he would be.
• 20:48
  Like he's just, you see polar bears on TV and they're these
• 20:50
  magnificent creatures. And then you just see this poor,
• 20:54
  sad, emaciated like. You know, I think for the likes
• 20:58
  of polar bears and stuff, we should have a Dole lottery and
• 21:02
  people, people who are who don't want to get a job like, you
• 21:06
  know, like people who are are constantly not people who can't
• 21:08
  get a job, but people who will just will refuse to never get a
• 21:11
  job. This is getting very right wing
• 21:13
  actually. But what I think we should?
• 21:16
  Do reform. Yeah, unless they apply for jobs
• 21:20
  and actually go on fucking do do some stuff, they they are
• 21:23
  entered into a lottery and if you if your number gets pulled,
• 21:28
  you get fed to the polar bear in Dublin Zoo and OK, I think.
• 21:31
  Do you get a do do they do they get a weapon like you know, no
• 21:34
  why? Would.
• 21:36
  They no you're. You're afraid.
• 21:38
  Look, OK, look, if I can take this into a darker area.
• 21:41
  If you're going to make someone go one to one-on-one with a
• 21:44
  bear. If you're going to make someone
• 21:46
  go one-on-one with a bear, you have to telephone like you have
• 21:49
  to show people. 100% like how are we going to profit you know
• 21:51
  of? Course.
• 21:52
  And it's like, you know, you give them a weapon, but not like
• 21:55
  not like a powerful gun. You give them like a dagger, you
• 21:58
  know, And it's like, look, if you can take down a bear with a
• 22:00
  dagger, like, you know, we will, we will pay you for the rest of
• 22:04
  your life. But we know that's not going to
• 22:05
  follow. I don't have no dagger, but the
• 22:07
  reason why I wouldn't give them a dagger is because I'm standing
• 22:09
  in front of a polar bear the the the world's largest carnivorous
• 22:13
  fucking animal. I will fucking.
• 22:15
  Of course. I will jump on that fucking
• 22:17
  dagger, yeah. Did you see that picture going
• 22:21
  around? And it's like basically this I,
• 22:24
  I, whatever fucking vehicle they're in in Antarctica and the
• 22:27
  polar bear is like up on the window and he's got. 2 paws.
• 22:30
  Looking. In.
• 22:31
  And people are like, I like my, my toxic trait is I would think
• 22:35
  I could be his best friend. Yeah, I feel like, come on in.
• 22:39
  I trust too hard. There's an amazing bit of
• 22:41
  footage of this, a wildlife photographer who puts them in
• 22:49
  cases himself into this perspex box and they leave it out in the
• 22:52
  Arctic and. Oh.
• 22:56
  No, a polar bear comes up. The polar bear comes up and
• 22:59
  tries its best to get into the box.
• 23:02
  So much so that it's nose actually like gets into a crack
• 23:07
  and if he could get his teeth around to RIP out he probably
• 23:12
  could have opened that box. Now I don't know how sturdy that
• 23:16
  box was, but literal nose in the box and people in the comments
• 23:20
  were. I just want to boot.
• 23:22
  That's new. You're not.
• 23:24
  You're not booting the polar bears.
• 23:26
  No, it is true. But you, you're just going to
• 23:29
  get torn apart. No, no, no, no you.
• 23:31
  See, bears and stuff like, umm, especially in America, like
• 23:35
  areas where there's like camping and things like that.
• 23:37
  And if it's like, is it the the black bear, that's like
• 23:39
  relatively harmless. No, the black bears have bastard
• 23:42
  that well. What's the the black?
• 23:44
  Bear that one of them is the. Brown bear isn't as aggressive.
• 23:48
  The black bear is aggressive. Grizzly bear is just.
• 23:51
  That's death. Like just.
• 23:52
  Yeah, you see that you're like, but they all of these kind of
• 23:56
  areas that like the the bears have gotten.
• 23:59
  So we used to people. That.
• 24:01
  They'll it's kind of like pigeons nearly coming up and
• 24:06
  just sitting by you while you're eating.
• 24:07
  They kind of just go and they'll sit across the table, like
• 24:11
  across from the table like just a few feet away and wait for you
• 24:14
  to finish and leave stuff behind that they're not.
• 24:15
  They're not used to people. Yeah, they don't, they don't
• 24:17
  even take kind of notice of you. Like they don't, they're just
• 24:21
  waiting to finish your food because they're yeah, the at
• 24:24
  that stage they become kind of a omnivores, like, yeah, yeah,
• 24:29
  they're, they're just looking for whatever they can get at
• 24:32
  that stage. But they, I think it's the black
• 24:34
  bear. Make yourself big and make noise
• 24:37
  and then the grizzly bear is make yourself make.
• 24:39
  Yourself small and play dead and just play.
• 24:41
  No fucking way am I playing dead If it's a grizzly bear, I'm
• 24:43
  shaking my pants, whatever I'm trying to run.
• 24:45
  There's no from a from a grizzly.
• 24:47
  There's no hiding because people are no, I'll just climb a tree.
• 24:50
  You think a grizzly bear can get up a tree?
• 24:52
  It's like I'll jump in the river.
• 24:54
  Grizzly bears swim. They dig, they climb, killing.
• 24:57
  And their their their paws are like a photo cross and they have
• 25:01
  like that is a day 5 or 6 like like talons on. 6 I think.
• 25:07
  Like, yeah, they're, they're absolute freaks.
• 25:10
  Like they're just killing machines.
• 25:11
  Yeah, and it's like that video of Did you see Us?
• 25:14
  Like when, you know, the guy like screams at the grizzly bear
• 25:16
  with the grizzly bears like tearing towards this group of
• 25:19
  like hikers or whatever. And they all, it takes all of
• 25:23
  them to scream and run at it for it to kind of just veer off.
• 25:28
  Well, like if that was just one person on one person stopping
• 25:31
  one. Person or two people yeah, and
• 25:33
  they'll eat you they eat you alive as well as the thing like
• 25:36
  they'll they don't they don't kill you like they.
• 25:39
  Play with their food like they like they like to.
• 25:41
  Hear a big cat will a big cat will go off your neck and
• 25:44
  suffocate you so like you get you get got by a like a bobcat.
• 25:48
  A bobcat will kill you before it eats you, but a bear doesn't
• 25:52
  have doesn't have to do that because it's.
• 25:54
  Rip your guts open. Yeah.
• 25:55
  So it's it's it's it's so big that I could hold you down and
• 25:58
  each away let's it's, it's unhappier.
• 26:01
  Yeah. So.
• 26:03
  Danny, tell us about the Selkie. The selkai umm.
• 26:09
  OK let me find my notes I was getting.
• 26:11
  I was really into this talk about bears, sorry.
• 26:15
  But yeah, just just to head back to the, the, the kind of, the
• 26:21
  overall themes of all of these stories from the, the, the
• 26:25
  Selkies is, uh yeah. The kind of it's, if you listen
• 26:31
  to a lot of like old Irish songs and Irish folklore, they do love
• 26:36
  the idea of this wild woman. They're like shagging seals.
• 26:39
  Yeah. Well, it's not all about
• 26:41
  shagging seals. And but I did this, this what
• 26:44
  like even like when you think about the the field and the
• 26:48
  tinker's daughter, she was this thing like this wild thing that
• 26:53
  was beautiful because it was wild, but it could be tamed.
• 26:57
  The there's that. What was that that song?
• 27:01
  She was a rare thing, a spine as a bee's wing.
• 27:04
  Go away. That one there.
• 27:06
  That was about that was about OK, Daddy, so.
• 27:09
  The cat, sorry. That was about a traveler girl
• 27:12
  as well and the the song, I forget that the name of that
• 27:16
  fucking song eh? But anyways, it's, it's about a
• 27:20
  traveler girl as well. And it's the, the beauty of this
• 27:23
  wildness. Like, I mean this like even when
• 27:26
  we talk about a, umm, the idea of your ideal Celtic Woman, back
• 27:32
  in the day it was this pale skinned, wild, fiery haired wild
• 27:37
  woman. But the problem with that is
• 27:40
  there's a like, it's kind of like men want that wild woman,
• 27:46
  but when they have that woman, she can't be wild anymore.
• 27:50
  Yeah, they want to tame her, Yes.
• 27:51
  Yes, but then the beauty's gone. So it's this kind of this thing
• 27:59
  that like if, like when, when, when you capture the butterfly.
• 28:04
  Now I hear fucking butterflies. But like I'm sure other people.
• 28:06
  Will Will. Will understand this one when
• 28:10
  you capture that butterfly and you want you observe it and you
• 28:15
  touch its wings, that butterfly can't fly anymore.
• 28:18
  It's not wild now because you've you've soiled it by owning.
• 28:23
  It fucked it. Yes you fucked that butterfly
• 28:26
  and but that's kind of what we're we're looking at here and
• 28:30
  when it comes to the to the to the men of these stories and now
• 28:35
  not all stories are are that way.
• 28:37
  There is male selfies, female, eh, Yeah.
• 28:42
  Well, obviously just women. And.
• 28:44
  But like, yeah, there is that. That's how you bet.
• 28:47
  And that's a slightly different story.
• 28:49
  But with the men in these stories, they're all flawed men
• 28:52
  who do a terrible thing. And that is kind of led by
• 28:57
  either desperation or grief or just lost love.
• 29:02
  Like all of these things kind of will lead to the man doing a
• 29:07
  terrible thing. Now, some versions of the story,
• 29:10
  eh, there is redemption. Some versions of the story, like
• 29:15
  my one, there is just a, you know, a compounded misery, uh,
• 29:22
  where, where nobody is happy at the end of it.
• 29:24
  And I think that's the the the reason why I went with the
• 29:28
  really sad, shitty ending is because that is the one that
• 29:33
  kind of sticks in Irish folklore more than anything like the
• 29:37
  Children of Lear. Double up that sadness.
• 29:39
  Yeah, like, you know, like the stories like that that are just
• 29:42
  like fucking just when you think it's eh, there's the twist is
• 29:47
  coming where everything comes good.
• 29:49
  It doesn't. There's just another layer of
• 29:51
  sadness on top of it. I think that's why I went for
• 29:53
  the the no redemption at the end of it and just a little bit of
• 29:57
  extra sadness, but. I also loved her, she was like
• 30:00
  fucking see her as. Soon as she had the chance to
• 30:03
  go. Be wild again.
• 30:04
  She's like. Yeah, that's exactly.
• 30:05
  When you let a bird out of a cage that you've captured.
• 30:08
  Yeah, the moment they can go, they're gone.
• 30:10
  Yeah, that's it. And the the only the only thing
• 30:16
  with it. Well, like some of the stories,
• 30:20
  she just goes with my story. I at least had it that she
• 30:27
  acknowledged to Eva that she was gone and she appeared at the
• 30:32
  board bought some stories. The next time you see that seal
• 30:38
  it's out to sea and because it's just a wildness.
• 30:42
  But I gave, I gave the selkie and just a little bit of a
• 30:50
  acknowledgement that I'm going let let them know that you're
• 30:52
  going and. Yeah.
• 30:55
  Yeah, I think I, I think it's these, these stories are very
• 31:02
  kind of emotionally intricate. I think when it comes to like
• 31:08
  the two different sites, the the, the selkie side and the
• 31:12
  fisherman say like or whoever, whichever way they're using the
• 31:16
  story, whoever the the, the characters are in the story, the
• 31:20
  males in this female selkie story are always very flawed
• 31:25
  human beings who very seldom get a redemption.
• 31:29
  It's more of a kind of a cautionary tale to men who want
• 31:33
  to mistreat women. It's kind of like the the whole
• 31:37
  manic Pixie dream girl thing where it's like you're.
• 31:40
  Going to have to explain that one.
• 31:43
  So have you seen? I'm trying to think of like a
• 31:46
  movie that would 500 Days of Summer for example.
• 31:49
  Yeah, yeah. Oh, I get you now.
• 31:51
  Yeah. Yeah, OK.
• 31:52
  Yeah, and it's that kind of quirky, weird girl that like,
• 31:56
  you know, he's going to fix all his problems.
• 31:58
  And it's like like Eternal Sunshine of Spotless Mind.
• 32:02
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that, that kind of kind of
• 32:05
  thing as well. This is quite like reminiscence
• 32:07
  of like that whole the wildness can't be tamed kind of thing.
• 32:12
  It's like, oh, this is going to solve all my problems if I can
• 32:14
  just get this girl fucking settle down and just, you know
• 32:16
  what I mean? Do what I want her to do.
• 32:19
  That's a really good kind of comparison there and.
• 32:24
  Thanks. Yeah, Scott Pilgrim, one of
• 32:27
  those movies. Oh absolutely.
• 32:30
  Yeah, 100%. Yeah, I would say so.
• 32:32
  Because. She's her hair.
• 32:33
  She's like, she's so different. She's like so different and
• 32:36
  she's so interesting. And she is.
• 32:38
  She is the the girl that like he imagines that he would want to
• 32:43
  come into his life and literally in Scott Pilgrim, she like
• 32:46
  roller skates into a room and he like is transported into this
• 32:51
  dreamlike state where it's like, is this woman real?
• 32:54
  Have I imagined her? And how would she come into my
• 32:57
  life? I have to have her.
• 32:59
  I have to do whatever it takes. I have to engage with her.
• 33:02
  I have to, I have to she has to become mine.
• 33:04
  And then a lot of times with the manic Pixie dream girl and with,
• 33:08
  you know, with a lot of like folklore, when they catch the
• 33:10
  wild woman, they don't quite know what to do with her.
• 33:13
  So they often just will find nefarious ways to hold on to her
• 33:16
  like, you know, they they like with the selkie, you take her
• 33:19
  skin, you hide the skin, you keep her.
• 33:21
  And there is this whole thing of, you know, she, she is, her
• 33:26
  wings have been clipped and. It is because you have just.
• 33:30
  Imagined this hypothetical woman, the manic Pixie dream
• 33:34
  girl like even the name like refers to the layers of
• 33:38
  mythology that can be involved in So Danny the legend of the
• 33:42
  selkies, yes. Legend of the selkie.
• 33:45
  OK, all right, so the origins. So the legend of the selkie.
• 33:52
  I wasn't fucking far off though, because they can also be
• 33:54
  referred to as Silkies. I put a video on last night
• 33:59
  while I was trying to research for this because sometimes it
• 34:02
  helps me fall asleep. I'll take in the information for
• 34:06
  that. I just type into you.
• 34:08
  I was already asleep. I woke up and I was like,
• 34:10
  alright, I can't really fall back to sleep.
• 34:12
  I'll put this in a YouTube video.
• 34:14
  I'll just let them talk at me about them for a while.
• 34:17
  And I typed in like selkie. With.
• 34:20
  One eye open and I just just put the laptop down and I rolled
• 34:24
  back over and then they started talking about like silky
• 34:28
  chickens for a good 5 minutes before I realized they're not
• 34:32
  going to talk about the selfie are they at 1:00?
• 34:34
  Point. When they were talking about
• 34:35
  chickens, are you like? And now the selfie enters.
• 34:39
  I. Don't know.
• 34:40
  It was 3 in the morning. I had like woken up and I put it
• 34:44
  back up. I fell back and see and I heard
• 34:46
  like the word silky and just I was like, that's close enough.
• 34:50
  Like that's it. They started talking about
• 34:53
  chickens. I was like, maybe they're on a
• 34:54
  farm by the sea. I don't know.
• 34:57
  But yeah, it was, it was about actual chickens.
• 34:59
  And I woke up. I just closed it.
• 35:00
  I did everything this morning. So legend of a Selke comes from
• 35:05
  the mist covered islands of Ireland, Scotland and Ocean help
• 35:10
  Farrows. Where are the fair islands?
• 35:14
  They are northeast. Scotland.
• 35:16
  Yeah, between Scotland and Iceland.
• 35:19
  So while mermaids are like. Look at Saint Brendan, Brendan,
• 35:22
  Voyage every now and again. Will you just have a fucking
• 35:24
  reader? Actually, let's do a fucking
• 35:26
  episode that. Never mind, Go go.
• 35:28
  Please, please, future episode planner.
• 35:31
  Yeah. So while mermaids are like kind
• 35:34
  of the glamour models of the ocean with their tails and stuff
• 35:38
  like silkies are like indie soulful manic Pixie dream girl
• 35:42
  type cousins. In the water they look exactly
• 35:46
  like grey seals, big liquid eyes and sleep bodies.
• 35:49
  But once they reach a secluded shore under a full moon, they
• 35:53
  unzip their skin to reveal humans of surpassing beauty,
• 35:58
  glowing skin, dark hair, and an energy that is just different
• 36:02
  from everyone else. So the skin isn't just a
• 36:07
  costume, it's a biological horcrux.
• 36:09
  It is described as being cold to the touch, an incredibly soft
• 36:13
  smelling of brine. And which if you're going to
• 36:16
  fuck a girl and she smells like brine?
• 36:18
  Who's Brine? Brine and ancient magic.
• 36:28
  Like it's not exactly very alluring sounding, you know, No.
• 36:31
  Like. Cold, cold to the touch, soft,
• 36:34
  nice but but smells like seaweed.
• 36:38
  It's. Like soft.
• 36:41
  Cool to the touch. Smells like the sea.
• 36:43
  Definitely my day chat. My girlfriend smells like brine.
• 36:47
  Should I break over there? Like what?
• 36:50
  Like I I don't understand that being alluring in any way.
• 36:54
  Like I have a candle that burns and it's basically the scent is
• 36:59
  is sea air and it's it smells like sea and salty but doesn't
• 37:04
  smell like. Brine kind.
• 37:05
  Of fishy smell. I.
• 37:08
  Well. I think it's more like like a
• 37:11
  shoreline. So you're going to get a smell
• 37:13
  of like, salt air and like seaweed and you know, that kind
• 37:17
  of, oh. I get.
• 37:19
  Yeah. I don't like it's not it's not
• 37:21
  it's not a fishy kind of a smell.
• 37:24
  It's more of a yeah, like kelp, like a like a yeah, but again,
• 37:30
  the sea is the sea. It all smells like salty water.
• 37:33
  But I don't I don't think the idea like from just I'll let you
• 37:39
  continue. But like, the difference, like
• 37:43
  depending on who's telling the story of what they, they feel
• 37:46
  like they're the writer. Like the clock feels like silk,
• 37:51
  smooth silk. And it smells like the CA or it
• 37:55
  smells like something that you can't describe, you know, like
• 37:58
  it all depends on like, where where it comes from.
• 38:01
  Like these stories are hundreds of years old and have made their
• 38:04
  way all the way around the kind of Celtic Isles like so.
• 38:07
  I mean, I took to to go to your story, though I do feel like if
• 38:11
  you saw a woman physically walk out of the sea, you'd be like,
• 38:14
  it makes sense that she smells like Brian.
• 38:16
  But if you're in the pub and some young one comes up to you
• 38:19
  and like fucking stink a Brian offer, you'd be like, I'm not
• 38:22
  really into. This sounds like a big insult.
• 38:26
  Do you know what I mean? I think it's like, unless you
• 38:29
  saw her walk out of the ocean, I don't think you'd be OK with the
• 38:33
  fact that she smelled like Brian.
• 38:35
  Like. I think people like these these
• 38:38
  descriptions of what the like the shed skin is that like you
• 38:42
  know, when it's like you were saying it's it's almost like a
• 38:46
  Lovecraftian thing where it's like it feels like something you
• 38:48
  can't describe. It feels it feels special, it
• 38:51
  feels magical. It feels other worlds.
• 38:55
  While yes, it may smell bad. Like, like, OK, nothing get
• 39:00
  crass here, guys. Because we know we're not a
• 39:02
  crass a podcast, are we? Not a podcast like back in my
• 39:11
  evening when you were a little kid.
• 39:14
  Or let's say not a little kid, but like an adult.
• 39:18
  I have no idea where you're going.
• 39:20
  With this little girl and you'll be like smells like fish, smells
• 39:24
  like fish tastes like chicken. Either way, I'm looking.
• 39:27
  But like, it's, it's, yeah, it's the kind of thing that maybe
• 39:31
  guys were like, she smells like brain.
• 39:33
  Maybe she smells like a pussy. When her pH balance is all off
• 39:38
  and she needs medicated soap. Like.
• 39:41
  She'd be smelling like Brian at. All I don't think in medieval
• 39:44
  Ireland and Scotland and particularly the fair islands, I
• 39:49
  don't think they had pH balancers and you know, I think
• 39:53
  I think like their kind of their solutions to problems would have
• 39:56
  been find some leeches, you know, cut a hole in you and just
• 40:02
  you have too much blood, you need to lose your blood and you
• 40:06
  know, like that would have been medical solutions to various.
• 40:08
  Problems and give you some cocaine.
• 40:11
  No, that's, that's the 1920s. Yes, that is the 1920s.
• 40:16
  Well, I think the Victorians did a lot of that as well.
• 40:19
  So when was that? That was the that was in the
• 40:21
  1818. Hundreds and they make you a way
• 40:25
  to sea actually, which is if you go be by the sea, it'll help
• 40:28
  your hysteria. Oh, that was like a very like
• 40:31
  that was a very like field upper class.
• 40:33
  That was a very like upper class thing where like if you were
• 40:35
  suffering from any kind of maudlin ailment, they were like,
• 40:38
  you need to take in the sea air, Yeah.
• 40:40
  So they would go. Me though, to be fair, like I, I
• 40:43
  like to go to the to the sea when I'm depressed.
• 40:45
  It does help. Maybe I in another life I was a
• 40:48
  Victorian slush, right? I'm moving on to this.
• 40:52
  We're not going. To get to it otherwise.
• 40:54
  So there was like, so if a selkie loses their skin, wait,
• 40:59
  no, hang on. Oh, the transformation.
• 41:01
  Not a painful werewolf style change.
• 41:03
  It's more of like taking off a heavy winter coat after coming
• 41:06
  inside from the cold. If a selkie loses their skin,
• 41:10
  they don't die, but they lose their spark.
• 41:12
  They become land bound and while they can live as humans, they
• 41:16
  always feel a phantom pull toward the tides.
• 41:19
  Their eyes often remain seal like wide, dark and filled with
• 41:23
  a sort of eternal nostalgia. So again, it's just that that
• 41:29
  thread going through all of this, like the the sorrow, the
• 41:33
  grief, the sadness, you know, like the men who meet these
• 41:36
  sulkies on the shore are sad and then like when they're captured,
• 41:39
  they're sad. Just everyone who's sad, making
• 41:42
  everyone else really sad. Sad squared.
• 41:46
  So the stolen skin trope, basically some of the most
• 41:52
  famous self selfie stories are pretty dark.
• 41:56
  Typically, a lonely fisherman spots a group of selfie women
• 41:58
  dancing on the sand and instead of saying hello, basically
• 42:03
  steals one of their skins and hides it in a chest or under the
• 42:06
  floorboards. The selfie, unable to return to
• 42:10
  the sea, is forced to marry this dude.
• 42:13
  She makes a Good Wife, but she never truly smiles.
• 42:16
  She's basically like the the sad girl aesthetic.
• 42:18
  She's. Lost her smile.
• 42:20
  Yeah, it's a. Wrestling reference for
• 42:22
  everybody. Yeah, she has children who have
• 42:27
  webbed fingers or toes and a genetic wink to their aquatic
• 42:33
  heritage. These kids usually love the
• 42:35
  water more than anything else. No I haven't read too much into
• 42:40
  like this side of the story where the selkie will have a
• 42:44
  child with a human, but like would those children have the
• 42:48
  ability to develop a skin of their own or are they eternally
• 42:54
  in between the two worlds? I've heard two, two different.
• 42:57
  Well, not I've heard of a bunch of different tellings, but
• 43:00
  there's there's umm, the story. There's OK, they're my story.
• 43:08
  They didn't have a child of their own.
• 43:10
  I played with it. Yeah.
• 43:12
  And that gets she she took it. She took the child away.
• 43:14
  But, and that would be another kind of eh, layer on top of it.
• 43:20
  But there is stories where they have kids, eh, there's, I
• 43:27
  actually, I would say three different stories.
• 43:29
  There's, there's, there's the story where she just abandons
• 43:32
  her kids and goes to the wild and the child, eh, just throws
• 43:37
  up, not knowing that the mother. And there was another story
• 43:42
  where the selkie was, eh, very vengeful, kind of a malevolent
• 43:49
  presence in the in the fisherman's life, where she told
• 43:54
  the fisherman that whatever, whatever you take from the sea,
• 43:59
  the sea will reclaim back from you with interest.
• 44:02
  Like like a yeah. So it respect the sea.
• 44:06
  Yeah. So when he, she warned him a
• 44:09
  bunch of times and said you can do this, but there's going to be
• 44:16
  consequences and there's a. Price to pay.
• 44:18
  Yes, so they ended up having uh, some kids and the, uh,
• 44:27
  eventually she finds her skin and she takes the kids and the
• 44:32
  fisherman is left with nobody. So she's gone with all the kids
• 44:35
  and their sea reclaimed her and the children.
• 44:40
  There's also another very sad tale with the male selkie.
• 44:45
  So. So a woman who?
• 44:46
  I have a little bit of the male selfie.
• 44:49
  But I'll just to go through like with the the children so that
• 44:55
  the male selfie comes ashore. A woman who is dissatisfied with
• 45:00
  life as this is the troll with the the women and she is
• 45:05
  dissatisfied with her her life and I'm not Sometimes she has a
• 45:10
  husband. Most of the time she doesn't and
• 45:13
  what she finds this eh dark stranger she meets at the beach
• 45:18
  and they have a fling, eh this eh particular story there,
• 45:24
  Selkie came to the shore and there's lots of different kind
• 45:27
  of. So it's not just always like eh
• 45:29
  in the stories that it's a full moon that the southeast change
• 45:32
  and sometimes it's the tide has to be right, eh.
• 45:35
  Sometimes it's eh every seven years and seven years seems to
• 45:40
  be the eh eh. That's why I gave it the 14
• 45:43
  years. Eh, for me it was longer work,
• 45:46
  just as a kind of a nod to that like, but it was them.
• 45:49
  Every seven years the the selkies can come, come to shore
• 45:54
  or whatever. But this male selkie fell in
• 45:59
  love with the the woman. They had a kid when the kid yeah
• 46:06
  came to be about 6. So he was The selfie said he
• 46:09
  longed to get back into the the ocean.
• 46:13
  It was 7 years since and he needs to go back to the ocean.
• 46:16
  The wife was heartbroken but she knew he had to go and child
• 46:23
  wanted to go with the father and they both went.
• 46:28
  But she gave the child a chain and put it around his neck so
• 46:31
  that she'd be able to recognize him when she saw him swim, swim
• 46:33
  out at sea. And eventually they left a few
• 46:38
  years past and she had married another fisherman who came home.
• 46:47
  Yeah, well, he came home one day and he had a chain in his hand
• 46:53
  and said, I got you this gorgeous chain, this beautiful
• 46:55
  chain. And and the minute she saw the
• 46:58
  change, she knew what happened. He was down at the shore and he
• 47:02
  saw he saw a couple of seals that are overly close and he
• 47:07
  killed them and butchered them and brought her back chain.
• 47:10
  So her, her love, her true love, her first love and her child
• 47:15
  were butchered by her mass like and he didn't.
• 47:19
  Know such, it's such a perfect, umm, you know, kind of, uh, tale
• 47:26
  of warning kind of story. And like you're saying, the
• 47:29
  compounding of misery, like the, the new love of her life
• 47:33
  murdered her family. And now obviously she will
• 47:37
  resent him for the rest of her days and her love for him will
• 47:41
  be destroyed. And it's just, it's the perfect,
• 47:44
  like Celtic myth, just compounded misery.
• 47:49
  Yeah, it's fantastic. There is a there's another one
• 47:53
  I've I've had it. There's a couple of stories
• 47:55
  there where the this stealthy and the main male protagonist, I
• 48:01
  don't know if you call it a protagonist, but they don't fall
• 48:03
  in love. There's just that kind of a
• 48:05
  something that happens like a little.
• 48:08
  One night stand. Not even, not even on, on this
• 48:11
  particular 1A man was walking on the beach and saw a lone seal
• 48:17
  pulp was a struggling on the, the, the sand.
• 48:22
  And he says, you know what, this will actually make for great
• 48:26
  fodder. And so, so I can eat this, I can
• 48:31
  eat the seal pulp. So he grabs the seal pulp and
• 48:34
  makes his way up the beach and he could hear, he can hear
• 48:39
  screaming on the the beach. And he turns around and he sees
• 48:43
  the seal and he goes off. Fuck.
• 48:49
  And he sees that the motor of the the seal is in distress.
• 48:52
  And he kind of thought, well did seal was going to die anyways, I
• 48:55
  might as well eat it. But now that he sees that the
• 48:57
  motor is there, he's like, OK, the seal goes right.
• 48:59
  So yeah. So he goes back and he leaves
• 49:01
  the seal down, eh in the ocean. And the motor comes and reclaims
• 49:06
  the seal that the the the seal pop and they swim off.
• 49:11
  And years later, this guy, he's now married, he didn't know she
• 49:17
  was a selkie or what was going on.
• 49:18
  You know, he's married. And not to give away the the.
• 49:24
  Twist is that. He was a selkie.
• 49:27
  But yeah, he, he, he's married and he has three kids and the
• 49:31
  three kids make their way down to the shore and they're all out
• 49:36
  picking Winkles or whatever the fuck it is, and they're her.
• 49:41
  They're. They're down.
• 49:42
  They're. Doing whatever bullshit on the
• 49:44
  shore, Yeah, whatever. It is whatever shit little
• 49:47
  winkle pickers winkle pickers sounds winkle pickers.
• 49:50
  Good insults for an Englishman it's.
• 49:52
  That is a really good insult. It sounds like an insult for
• 49:55
  English children for. Coastal pickers.
• 49:59
  Yeah. Like coastal English children?
• 50:03
  Winkle Picker. A big fucking winkle picture.
• 50:11
  That's after that's. That's pic of me now that's
• 50:14
  that's new in my in my ball. Pad.
• 50:17
  I like that. Oh yeah.
• 50:18
  Just making. I'm making a note of that, Alex.
• 50:22
  Alex, do something with that that's that's no Gen.
• 50:25
  Z slang. The kids get a little bit of the
• 50:28
  stress and the youngest starts getting carried out to see it
• 50:34
  starts at the current starts taking a month.
• 50:36
  The the oldest child swims out and tries to, you know, bring
• 50:43
  the bring the child back in and how all three of the kids are in
• 50:46
  distress. And just as they thought all was
• 50:53
  lost, they saw a woman swimming towards them, not a seal, a
• 50:59
  woman. And she says calm down,
• 51:03
  everything will be OK. Eh, She tells them, don't fight
• 51:10
  the current and don't swim towards the shore, just let the
• 51:15
  current take. Yeah.
• 51:16
  The kids wouldn't understand that this was against the
• 51:20
  everything natural to them. But they found themselves that
• 51:23
  when they did everything kind of calm down the sea, calm down,
• 51:28
  everything calm down. And the woman gently walk them
• 51:32
  back onto the land. And she told them, give your
• 51:38
  father this warning from me. What you or the sea, the sea or
• 51:43
  what you take from the sea, the sea will take from you 3 times
• 51:48
  as bad, you know. Oh chill.
• 51:50
  So what he has done, he's done a kindness to this, to the ocean.
• 51:54
  And that was she backed up. She saved 3 of.
• 51:57
  His kids. But she didn't leave it that it
• 52:01
  was a kindness that she did that was just a death that was owed
• 52:05
  to him. So the warning was, maybe don't
• 52:08
  let your children out of your sight from now on because they
• 52:11
  won't be so lucky next time. Yeah, like the sea has saved
• 52:15
  your children this time, but the next time it won't.
• 52:18
  Yeah, yeah. And it's kind of there's this is
• 52:21
  the, the selkies are kind of linked to the ocean itself.
• 52:25
  And a lot of these stories where they're not just of the ocean,
• 52:30
  they're kind of are eh, an eternal kind of eh, spirit of
• 52:36
  the ocean. They, they have like the, the,
• 52:38
  the, they are one with the ocean.
• 52:41
  So when they talk about eh, it's owing to them, it's owing to the
• 52:46
  ocean, not just to the South itself like.
• 52:49
  Yeah, they're like a, they're like a personification.
• 52:52
  Of exactly like the. Ocean and what the ocean can do
• 52:56
  to you and what you can do for it.
• 52:58
  Yeah. I find that that's like a common
• 53:00
  theme in like not just Irish folklore, but just just like
• 53:04
  Celtic folklore in general, where it's like a you've done me
• 53:07
  in kindness and then years down the line it comes back.
• 53:10
  And I talked about with the werewolves that time.
• 53:12
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very.
• 53:14
  And all these, these animals that we think like especially
• 53:18
  shape shifting animals, but these these animals that we
• 53:20
  think are a, they're in, in a lot of other mythologies,
• 53:25
  they're actually, yeah, evil kind of just animals, just
• 53:28
  creatures that are evil. But for, for, eh, Celtic
• 53:32
  mythology, a lot of these animals are kind of like
• 53:35
  guardians of the environment. So like the werewolves were like
• 53:38
  the guardians of the woods and the forest.
• 53:41
  And it's the same with the selfie.
• 53:42
  They're kind of the guardians of the ocean or the the North Sea
• 53:46
  where where it's North Sea and Irish Sea as well.
• 53:49
  Yeah, it's like, I don't know if you've you guys don't spend as
• 53:53
  much time on that take talk as I do, but there's been like.
• 53:56
  A. None at all.
• 54:00
  Pure white stag spotted up in in Scotland recently.
• 54:06
  You know, it's, it's everywhere. Anyone who's.
• 54:11
  Into animals as far as they would.
• 54:13
  That's for you. But this this white stag
• 54:18
  apparently signifies the return of the faith, like fairy, fairy
• 54:24
  folk, right? And the only people who are
• 54:27
  excited about this and making all these videos are Americans,
• 54:31
  Americans, Scottish people, Irish people.
• 54:35
  They're like, you don't fucking want the fae up here.
• 54:38
  Are you fucking mental? Like that's not a good thing
• 54:41
  that we've got fae and fairies. They're they're demons.
• 54:43
  Like we don't want them. But if I'm.
• 54:45
  Like a bunch of bastards, I'm sure.
• 54:48
  I'm sure it's just like a bunch of American women who are just
• 54:51
  like, Oh my God, it's like the fairies are coming back and it's
• 54:55
  like really good for me and I'm going to do this.
• 54:58
  And and then they're probably burning some bullshit incense.
• 55:02
  And meanwhile like Irish people are like not they bought in shit
• 55:05
  again. Yeah, yeah, like my my friend
• 55:08
  Anna. Sorry.
• 55:09
  Go ahead. No, no, it's OK to talk about
• 55:11
  your friend Anna. So she lives in the middle of
• 55:13
  nowhere, up the country somewhere, I don't know me, but
• 55:18
  back end Irish Mead somewhere and she always likes so she.
• 55:25
  Yeah, me. This is not the country.
• 55:27
  Dublin Anyway, so she, she, she lives in the middle of nowhere
• 55:32
  and the whole thing that she has done, which is really, really
• 55:35
  cool with her front garden, she just turned it into like a
• 55:38
  wildflower garden. Planted That's that's actually
• 55:41
  my dream. I want to buy some land and
• 55:43
  yeah, reboiled it. I'm watching a lot.
• 55:45
  It looks like videos right now. Yeah, so she she's done all of
• 55:48
  that with her front garden because she's got like fuck all
• 55:51
  in her back garden, but the front is like really long, long
• 55:54
  driveway. So she's like fuck it.
• 55:55
  Like so she had she posts all these things all the time like
• 55:59
  well, if that isn't a fucking fake trap if I ever saw.
• 56:02
  And she posted one the other day and it was like mushrooms that
• 56:06
  have been growing, but they're like in steps.
• 56:09
  And she's. Just like phaedra phaedra.
• 56:11
  So she's just like. No, not going here, fuck off.
• 56:15
  And like, post some pictures of it and stuff and everyone's
• 56:17
  like, oh, your garden is beautiful.
• 56:18
  And she's like Phaedra. I remember on my my old school
• 56:22
  grounds in in county leash, there was a like a fairy ring.
• 56:27
  It was a ring, a tree. Yeah.
• 56:29
  And it was now the the estate that the school was on was like
• 56:32
  an old big house from like the Lords of the fucking, you know,
• 56:35
  like. The landed Gentry.
• 56:37
  Exactly. And it was very much like a man
• 56:40
  made fairy rings, but it was a fairy ring and nobody went near
• 56:45
  it. Like even like a bunch of
• 56:47
  cynical teenagers, a bunch of cynical teenagers.
• 56:49
  And there was 600 people in my school.
• 56:52
  Nobody ever fucking went near it because people were just like,
• 56:55
  you know, people would dare each other to go up there.
• 56:57
  But even still, they're just like, I don't know, I'm not
• 56:59
  going to fuck. With that, I think we're
• 57:01
  probably the last generation that are that have the fear of
• 57:05
  fairy rings like my mother puts a.
• 57:07
  Beer, Yeah. Bearings into me like we I'm
• 57:09
  right beside the current and we've got a lot of like a well
• 57:13
  probably were all ring forts that yes the Curry is awesome
• 57:18
  yeah so like when you go go out there like you don't really see
• 57:22
  it as much anymore but you would see visible just rings in the in
• 57:27
  like indents in the ground where it would have been an yeah no
• 57:30
  trees or anything like that but like it just would have been so
• 57:32
  and my mother would tell me that that's that's a fairy for fairy
• 57:36
  ring and never never go near it never go near it and in my head
• 57:40
  it's like if I see a circle on the ground like I'm not like
• 57:42
  that's a. Walk around it.
• 57:44
  Yeah, I'm not. I'm not.
• 57:45
  Going to go. Near a fucking a fairy ring or a
• 57:48
  hawthorn Bush. Like to do not put a hawthorn
• 57:50
  Bush. I just don't switch it like a
• 57:52
  hawthorn tree. Just go.
• 57:53
  Don't go near it. So I obviously I with spells and
• 57:57
  stuff, I'll use halt on berries and.
• 58:00
  You fucking idiot. For certain things, really,
• 58:07
  they're like, so they're very, very good in protection spells,
• 58:11
  but also banishing spells. So the two opposite ends of the
• 58:16
  spectrum is what they'll do. They're really hard to come
• 58:18
  across. But yeah, no, we used to have
• 58:20
  like all like all kinds of things like that in like in
• 58:22
  Wexford, because it was just like fucking like basically it
• 58:26
  was a housing estate built in the 70s in the middle of the
• 58:28
  fucking woods. And then it just kind of
• 58:30
  expanded for this. So in the 90s we still had like
• 58:32
  a lot of swamp and like woodland and stuff around it.
• 58:36
  So like you'd see like loads of that stuff.
• 58:39
  And like, again, like people wouldn't go near it.
• 58:41
  Like you'd have like the older people who wouldn't go near it.
• 58:43
  But he also had like errors, like I'm not fucking touching
• 58:44
  that. Like he'd go and touch the wall
• 58:46
  in school, that mentor, you're gay if you touch that wall, like
• 58:49
  the gay wall, you'd go and do that no problem, but you would
• 58:52
  not go. Here just in case.
• 58:55
  Just to. Just to.
• 58:56
  Prove the points like, Oh yeah, I'll show you guys, yeah.
• 58:59
  And like we, I think. Really.
• 59:01
  Yeah. I think we like we are going to
• 59:03
  do more stuff on like Irish mythology and Celtic mythology,
• 59:06
  yeah. We.
• 59:07
  Can go. I think an episode on the
• 59:09
  fairies is like you could do like a three-part episode on.
• 59:13
  Fairies. I think every episode we've
• 59:15
  done, we mentioned how like the fairies are bad.
• 59:17
  So we. Want people?
• 59:18
  If there's anyone listening, we just want them to know.
• 59:20
  And if there's anyone listening who is a hot Polish girlfriend
• 59:24
  of mine, you can stop listening now.
• 59:26
  But the dignification of the fairies, Yeah.
• 59:30
  Why? You've got a bunch of Americans
• 59:32
  being like, oh, I wish I could see some fairies.
• 59:34
  You see fairies, You see death. OK, Yeah.
• 59:38
  Exactly. They are.
• 59:39
  And it's like, you know, you get those things that create little
• 59:42
  fairy doors that you stick on your starting boards.
• 59:44
  Like don't invite them in. You're just inviting them in at
• 59:47
  that point. I I think those are cute because
• 59:49
  like kids can have a look at them.
• 59:51
  I always associate. Like Tom and Jerry with that,
• 59:54
  you know, they like Jerry always has like the little door on the
• 59:57
  skirting board. Yeah, but no.
• 59:58
  Anyway, so. Fairies aren't going to come to
• 1:00:01
  a fake door you put on the fucking skirting boards, Danny.
• 1:00:03
  They're going to knock a door, they're going to fucking knock a
• 1:00:06
  hole through your wall. That's what they're going to.
• 1:00:08
  Do they're going to be scratching out your windows in
• 1:00:10
  the middle of the night like fucking Salem's Lot?
• 1:00:12
  Like the? Devil lives in my room, so like
• 1:00:16
  I think he does. Actually, actually, yeah.
• 1:00:18
  You've never told Osheen that story was we'll, we'll tell that
• 1:00:22
  to Osheen after, but that's that's a pretty story.
• 1:00:25
  So anyway, selfie, she has the kids.
• 1:00:32
  Kids love nothing more than water, blah, blah.
• 1:00:34
  So the climax of almost every selfie story is the moment of
• 1:00:37
  self actualization. Years later, the selfie woman
• 1:00:40
  finds her skin hidden in the house.
• 1:00:42
  She doesn't beg for an apology. She doesn't pack a bag.
• 1:00:45
  She just grabs the skin, runs to the cliffs and dies back into
• 1:00:48
  the freezing North Atlantic. Some stories say her seal
• 1:00:52
  husband is way. I think Seal husband is a good
• 1:00:58
  is a good way to describe a lot of the men that you're into.
• 1:01:01
  Yeah, they. Divorced.
• 1:01:06
  No more kids. From my ex-husband.
• 1:01:12
  That's the best joke I'm going to ever make and I'm sorry for
• 1:01:14
  going in on you. Anyway.
• 1:01:23
  Sorry Yoshi, I can only apologize.
• 1:01:25
  And it's all good. Fuck it I can't.
• 1:01:34
  I don't know what to fill this. Time with you just.
• 1:01:37
  I'm going to just finish this last one.
• 1:01:39
  So like, while she is recovering there.
• 1:01:40
  So some stories say her seal husband is waiting for her in
• 1:01:44
  the waves, having waited years for his queen to return.
• 1:01:47
  It's a bittersweet ending. She leaves her human family
• 1:01:49
  behind, but she finally becomes whole again.
• 1:01:53
  That's the fact that you can't keep a wild thing caged, no
• 1:01:57
  matter how much you love it. So like we were talking about
• 1:01:59
  earlier, it's that thing of like the wild animals will always
• 1:02:02
  want to be wild as she is laughing her asshole.
• 1:02:05
  That's the fullest animal we have over.
• 1:02:07
  Yeah, you see, there's the wild animal.
• 1:02:09
  She will always just want to like, you know, be laughing at
• 1:02:12
  tragedy. I've.
• 1:02:21
  Been that's been hocus pocus, like a pocus, I'm good.
• 1:02:26
  I'm back. I'm back.
• 1:02:27
  So I want to hear about these. I want to hear about the male
• 1:02:30
  sulky. OK from from me or from Danny?
• 1:02:35
  Well, Danny has a bit. She said earlier that she had.
• 1:02:37
  OK, she has, yeah. She had some.
• 1:02:39
  Stuff a little bit. Where are we?
• 1:02:42
  Oh. My God, no I haven't actually.
• 1:02:46
  I just thought that seal joke just really, what did you just
• 1:02:56
  say or she? So the the male, the male sulky.
• 1:03:00
  The frustration, the bubbling frustration in ocean, right?
• 1:03:04
  Now that's. That's the first time I've
• 1:03:08
  really seen like, any hint of autism come out of ocean there.
• 1:03:12
  Why aren't you? On track.
• 1:03:16
  Why aren't you on track like I am?
• 1:03:18
  So the male the male selfie which you could probably you
• 1:03:24
  could probably call Heidi Klum's husband.
• 1:03:28
  Male selfies are said to come ashore to seek out those who are
• 1:03:31
  dissatisfied with their lives. So lonely housewives in your
• 1:03:35
  area. In your area.
• 1:03:42
  If a human woman cries 7 tears into the ocean, these bitches
• 1:03:46
  are always crying at high tide. A handsome selfie man will
• 1:03:50
  appear to comfort her. Comfort her and so, like we
• 1:03:55
  mentioned earlier, sensual. Seal skin.
• 1:03:59
  But you, you mentioned earlier about there was a part of
• 1:04:02
  selfie, selfie path, selfie mythology about 7 years and
• 1:04:08
  there's seven tiers here. So like I have often noticed in
• 1:04:10
  a lot of mythology, the number 7 is kind of magic.
• 1:04:13
  Number. So I've I've put together a
• 1:04:15
  small list of like the number seven different mythologies
• 1:04:19
  around the world. So the Sumerians had seven gods.
• 1:04:23
  There are 7 wonders of the world, there are 7 seeds.
• 1:04:27
  Atlas had the God had seven daughters, which formed the
• 1:04:32
  constellation known as the Pleiade.
• 1:04:34
  Christianity has seven virtues. Islam allows 7 wives.
• 1:04:40
  Buddhism has seven fundamental elements of the world.
• 1:04:43
  There are 7 chakras and the rainbow has seven colors.
• 1:04:50
  Seven in spirituality 777 is look and witchcraft.
• 1:04:55
  So the number. 7 is just like it's, it's in all these
• 1:04:58
  mythologies that are all over the world and these mythologies
• 1:05:01
  were like created and developed and nurtured over hundreds of
• 1:05:05
  years when all these cultures had no like contact or no
• 1:05:08
  connection to each other. But the number 7 has always been
• 1:05:11
  this thing that is like within us as part of our mythology.
• 1:05:14
  Like it's AI don't personally, I don't believe in magic numbers,
• 1:05:18
  but it's a, it's a magic number. Like I think you need to.
• 1:05:21
  Put that number to be yeah, prevalent in all of these.
• 1:05:24
  But like again, does it go back to what we would say as we all
• 1:05:28
  came from one, one spot like like, yeah.
• 1:05:32
  So like when again, I'm going to mention it every time
• 1:05:37
  civilization is older than we believe it is, but it's what we
• 1:05:41
  come back to this, back to this race of people who instilled all
• 1:05:45
  the knowledge into US is the #7 like, do all of these kind of
• 1:05:51
  sevens come from that origin? And then spread around the
• 1:05:57
  world, Yeah. Because I think even in the
• 1:06:00
  Bible there's like the seven, there's like seven hills and.
• 1:06:03
  Hydra has seven or seven heads of the the the fucking. 7 realms
• 1:06:10
  as well as another thing. Yeah, so, so I just put together
• 1:06:13
  a small list, but like that list could be like double or treble
• 1:06:16
  because like they're. Also the the the number of the
• 1:06:20
  beast 666. There's some people that argue
• 1:06:23
  that that was a mistranslation and it should be 777. 666 is.
• 1:06:29
  Is is spiritual protection, divine, divine guidance
• 1:06:33
  apparently in Wiccan. I don't, I don't subscribe to
• 1:06:35
  Wiccan, but that's the part of what that is.
• 1:06:37
  But there's like even like in in witchcraft, there's like this
• 1:06:42
  the 77 portal. So the 7th of July, umm,
• 1:06:46
  apparently is like a really powerful day to do like like
• 1:06:50
  manifestation rituals around money and things like that.
• 1:06:53
  Because 7 is a lucky number. It's funny that we're talking
• 1:06:57
  about times as well, something that came up with me and this
• 1:07:03
  isn't anything to do with seven. Sorry you just while I jumped
• 1:07:05
  into my head, it's something that is associated with the
• 1:07:08
  selfies. A lot is September and that I've
• 1:07:13
  I've noticed people talk about that September is a the.
• 1:07:18
  Equinox. Yeah, it's, it's the the one
• 1:07:22
  between the. Yeah.
• 1:07:25
  Yeah, yeah, it's. Like.
• 1:07:27
  It's apparently it's, it's a month where a change happens.
• 1:07:31
  So it's like with the people who, who talk about this kind of
• 1:07:35
  bad stuff, like as I, I, you'll know more about Danny with
• 1:07:40
  fucking wickers and kind of or retards that, that those, those
• 1:07:48
  people will see September as this kind of fluid month where a
• 1:07:51
  lot of things will change, where the earth sign becomes the water
• 1:07:55
  sign. And it's there is this kind of
• 1:07:59
  balance between sea and land. And that's why cell keys, I
• 1:08:04
  think are kind of associated with with September for some
• 1:08:07
  reason. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:08:09
  But then again, set is 7 and uh, they moved yeah.
• 1:08:13
  So September maybe the the timing is actually it should be
• 1:08:18
  where July, like September technically was where July is
• 1:08:20
  before, before the Romans got in and fucked everything up.
• 1:08:23
  Because if you think about. It added in some extra months.
• 1:08:25
  But the actual new year is March.
• 1:08:28
  That's the actual like, yeah. Chinese and.
• 1:08:34
  Yeah, but it's like basically it's like the the New Year's is
• 1:08:37
  like is it the 31st of March? I don't know if that that
• 1:08:39
  actually is it. I think the spring equinox,
• 1:08:42
  Yeah. Because if you think of it this
• 1:08:45
  way, it's like everyone starts. Yeah.
• 1:08:47
  And everyone starts January being like, oh, like, you know,
• 1:08:50
  new year, new me, I'm going to get fit.
• 1:08:51
  I'm going to do all this when we're human beings or animals
• 1:08:55
  and we don't follow time, we follow the weather.
• 1:08:57
  Like, we just basically like. And when everyone's starting to
• 1:09:01
  kind of try and get out there and go to the gym and stuff,
• 1:09:02
  when it's so dark and it's so cold and like everyone's broke
• 1:09:06
  and miserable, it's spring when you should be doing these things
• 1:09:09
  because that's when the animals start coming into hibernation.
• 1:09:12
  They're all shagging each other. And, you know, I mean, like, it
• 1:09:15
  just is a general everything comes back to life or at least
• 1:09:19
  starts to come back to life. So that is kind of where you
• 1:09:21
  should be starting. Your year would be around March,
• 1:09:25
  springtime, which would make the most sense.
• 1:09:27
  But yeah, if that was the new year, then you've got like
• 1:09:29
  March, April, May, June, July, August, September, which would
• 1:09:32
  be the 6th month would be halfway into a year.
• 1:09:35
  Well, that would make sense. Technically the Romans just
• 1:09:38
  started shuffling everything around because they just.
• 1:09:41
  Shoehorned a bunch in, yeah. Yeah, they they went with like
• 1:09:44
  they took out. So if you look at the the and
• 1:09:48
  the, the months now like open till September.
• 1:09:52
  So we've got September, October, November, December, that's
• 1:09:55
  78910. Whereas it's the, you know, it's
• 1:09:59
  fucking 9 till 12 obviously. But yeah.
• 1:10:04
  And what they're doing was August, August is Augustus.
• 1:10:07
  So he came and just was like, I want that moon and after me.
• 1:10:10
  July is Julius Caesar. I want that and after me.
• 1:10:13
  And then the rest are kind of like fucking named after gods
• 1:10:17
  and whatever, like, you know. Yeah, and I talk about this all
• 1:10:21
  the time, but like, studying demonology and things like that,
• 1:10:25
  they were seen as like old gods back before Christianity and all
• 1:10:30
  this kind of took over and like, well, no, that's sinful.
• 1:10:32
  There's only one God. You should only be worshipping
• 1:10:34
  one person. Whereas you had all like older
• 1:10:36
  than that, you had like Dionysus, you had, yeah, you'd,
• 1:10:40
  you'd all of that. And then you had demons even
• 1:10:43
  well before that. And it's just kind of like, like
• 1:10:45
  I, I always tell just you this, what my favorite fact about
• 1:10:48
  demonology is that there is a demon for literally anything.
• 1:10:51
  There's demons that represent, well, shut up.
• 1:10:54
  There's demons that represent like Rd.
• 1:10:56
  Works which like I just picture him in a little Hive is just
• 1:11:00
  being angry down in hell it is like.
• 1:11:04
  Just get off your phone and switch that stop thing.
• 1:11:06
  Road work. Is, yeah, road work is and he
• 1:11:09
  just works for the council. Yeah.
• 1:11:11
  And there's like. Book is sitting at a pothole.
• 1:11:14
  There's even. Like smoke smoke in like 2
• 1:11:16
  rollies. Just breast feeding the
• 1:11:18
  shoulder. There's like a book that I have
• 1:11:21
  that basically gives you a list of like the best demons to use
• 1:11:24
  for which there's like 16 for cot death.
• 1:11:28
  Like cot death, that's 16 demons, yeah.
• 1:11:31
  But like, that makes sense because like back in the fucking
• 1:11:33
  day, like, yeah, it was like it was, it was something that like
• 1:11:36
  people lived with on a fucking day-to-day basis.
• 1:11:39
  Danny, I'm going to get into it right now.
• 1:11:41
  Go on. I just listened to a whole
• 1:11:43
  Lilith podcast and caught that we loved her baby.
• 1:11:47
  We like, let's put that on the list.
• 1:11:50
  Literally, let's put. A pin on that.
• 1:11:52
  Yeah, I've got a whole, there's a whole her being Adam's first
• 1:11:55
  wife thing. And he goes.
• 1:11:56
  Let's get back to it. So Danny, why would you say that
• 1:12:00
  we are still obsessed with the selkie?
• 1:12:03
  So the reason that we still love Selkies today is because they
• 1:12:06
  represent the dual nature of just being a woman.
• 1:12:09
  Basically, we all have that feeling of being between worlds
• 1:12:16
  or not totally fitting in where we are.
• 1:12:18
  Selkie's story is fundamentally about a woman getting her power
• 1:12:21
  back. It's a reminder that your skin
• 1:12:24
  or your essence, your magic belongs to you and nobody else.
• 1:12:28
  So from silky dresses that was like big puff dresses to coastal
• 1:12:35
  ethereal look the in so everyone says like mermaid corps they
• 1:12:38
  belong WAVY hair like silky corps is.
• 1:12:40
  Actually, a thing like it's when you, yeah, type it in, yeah.
• 1:12:44
  The influence is everywhere. It's about being soft but also
• 1:12:47
  having the strength of the entire ocean behind you.
• 1:12:51
  Like saying like selfie core rather than mermaid core is like
• 1:12:55
  when you have like, you know, like some.
• 1:12:57
  More mysterious. But it's like when you have like
• 1:13:00
  Halloween and then Irish people like, you know, it was a Pagan
• 1:13:02
  holiday first. Actually, the Irish actually
• 1:13:06
  come up with we used to cut turnips, you know it, It feels
• 1:13:10
  like it's the same kind of things like did.
• 1:13:12
  You have a brack, No? Well, shut up.
• 1:13:15
  There is, there is kind of a there, there is a big difference
• 1:13:18
  between like, again, I, I said big, but like there is, there is
• 1:13:21
  like differences between the the mermaid and the selkie that you
• 1:13:27
  would point out that it's like, you know, the trolls.
• 1:13:30
  I I I think that there's a little bit more to the selkie.
• 1:13:34
  Like there's again, I'm not saying that the fucking the
• 1:13:37
  Scandinavians and their mermaid that that's not like a tragic
• 1:13:42
  story. Fuck me like you thought they
• 1:13:44
  they make some seriously tragic stories up there.
• 1:13:47
  But I think the difference between don't.
• 1:13:51
  They cut her her in half or something.
• 1:13:53
  A Little Mermaid isn't there? Isn't that a lot darker?
• 1:13:55
  And I. Think oh the original.
• 1:13:57
  Like all of those ones are like, horrific.
• 1:13:59
  Tans Christian Andersen wasn't it?
• 1:14:00
  And but apparently they like big big big big decapitate her or
• 1:14:03
  something or something. They chopped her, fucking her.
• 1:14:07
  Like legs or her her. Don't they just?
• 1:14:08
  Chop her in half. Like to kind of have one pure or
• 1:14:11
  the other one or something like that.
• 1:14:13
  I can't. Remember I.
• 1:14:14
  Know I've heard it was fucked up but we're.
• 1:14:16
  Afraid, tried to have sex with the like.
• 1:14:20
  I just lay my legs over there. First, why couldn't she?
• 1:14:26
  Be the other kind of mermaid. It's a fish half on top and the
• 1:14:30
  human part on the bottom. Going to want to be taking you
• 1:14:35
  let dance. It's Atlanta, the city of
• 1:14:39
  Atlanta. Zoe Brick has his little his
• 1:14:42
  little shell home. And he's really.
• 1:14:43
  Happy, yeah. And then vendor fucking breaks
• 1:14:46
  it. And also not get into more
• 1:14:49
  future and. We can do that on every episode
• 1:14:54
  for every fucking topic that we talk about.
• 1:14:56
  But yeah, I think that the differences between the the
• 1:14:59
  mermaid and the sulky, I just think like there's just a little
• 1:15:03
  bit more like the skin changing part, like the I think with the
• 1:15:08
  mermaid, the beauty of the mermaid was always there and
• 1:15:12
  like the image of a mermaid sitting on the rock, like
• 1:15:15
  flicking her fish tail around and like men are coming on.
• 1:15:18
  Here. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:15:19
  And I don't want. That's that's why she smells
• 1:15:26
  like Brian. Yeah, stop.
• 1:15:29
  Coming in the mermaid's air. It's like to warn you first
• 1:15:33
  before that, but I will I will give you a fun fact on that
• 1:15:38
  Homer made thing. So the closest and.
• 1:15:43
  I guess you're saying this like you don't mention on every
• 1:15:46
  podcast. No, I actually haven't.
• 1:15:48
  Actually, the closest animal vagina to human woman's is a
• 1:15:53
  manatee. You mentioned all the exact
• 1:15:55
  like. Yeah, you said it the last day
• 1:15:58
  we recorded like. I'm a drunk, never mind me but
• 1:16:01
  basically the vagina but like the woman is is a manatee.
• 1:16:05
  But like the manatee is like they.
• 1:16:06
  Used to be called mermaids. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:16:09
  Because they would spot these things out in the ocean and they
• 1:16:11
  would be like the sailors would be drunk and horny and they
• 1:16:14
  would see a manatee and be like, that's that.
• 1:16:17
  And it'd just be like, that's a woman.
• 1:16:19
  Yeah, it's. Like that's a woman.
• 1:16:21
  It's not gay, it's prison sex. Yeah, you're a woman tonight.
• 1:16:29
  But like, yeah, so that that was like a whole thing where because
• 1:16:32
  they're so like Placid as well, and they have like, so you can't
• 1:16:35
  touch them if they swim up to you because they will swim right
• 1:16:37
  up to you. And I told you, yeah, you, you
• 1:16:41
  super sexy manatees, but you're like, you're not allowed to
• 1:16:44
  touch them. And then like.
• 1:16:45
  My guessing be if you're not allowed.
• 1:16:48
  Why not touch him if? You're not like, touch him.
• 1:16:51
  I want to touch the manatee. But you're out at sea.
• 1:16:55
  Like, surely if you're far enough out.
• 1:16:57
  No one can hear them scream. What are you getting?
• 1:17:00
  At, well, like you're in international waters.
• 1:17:02
  The implication, yeah, I'm doing the international waters.
• 1:17:04
  Yeah, and I'm in international waters.
• 1:17:06
  I can gamble, shoot a gun and fuck a manatee.
• 1:17:10
  I call them more manatees just so it doesn't feel gay.
• 1:17:13
  Oh, OK, OK, that's OK then. That's that's that's OK.
• 1:17:16
  Yeah, it's as long as it's not gay.
• 1:17:21
  We just start calling fat chicks that were manatees.
• 1:17:25
  No, we would never do that. Danny, you're such a woman.
• 1:17:27
  Haver. What?
• 1:17:29
  A terrible thing to do. We love and respect women on
• 1:17:31
  this podcast. Shame you're gay, bitch.
• 1:17:33
  I can see you both winking. And.
• 1:17:39
  Yeah. So there is.
• 1:17:41
  Enough, enough. Manatee fucking yeah.
• 1:17:43
  Yeah, let's let's get back on this.
• 1:17:45
  There's the ideas of like where this came from.
• 1:17:49
  So like I, I think like that they will.
• 1:17:51
  And again, to my, to my absolute dismay, what I hate is that it's
• 1:17:57
  not altogether an Irish story. And they would talk about it
• 1:18:01
  being the original tales from this will come from the Orkney
• 1:18:05
  Islands, which are like Scottish islands.
• 1:18:08
  They're out there a kind of eh, up in the, the North Sea and
• 1:18:14
  it's eh, kind of eh, closed off from, from a lot of the world.
• 1:18:19
  Like people who live there, they, they don't see a lot of
• 1:18:22
  the world. They just see the Orkney
• 1:18:23
  Islands. And so the ideas of like, where
• 1:18:27
  would this have come from? And like, again, like you say,
• 1:18:30
  then it could it be the idea of they saw seals and we're like,
• 1:18:34
  oh, they're beautiful. Like their eyes are gorgeous.
• 1:18:38
  You can get lost in them. And then now I want to book that
• 1:18:40
  thing for the, the, the there is some kind of a theories behind
• 1:18:47
  what would have been like, eh, the Norse coming down from
• 1:18:54
  Scandinavia or across from Scandinavia.
• 1:18:58
  And these kind of new people who did never would have seen before
• 1:19:03
  would have been in the Arctic and obviously hold they would
• 1:19:10
  have made their coats and also their their skins of their their
• 1:19:17
  boats would have been made out of seal skin.
• 1:19:20
  So it wasn't that literally these people wearing seal skin
• 1:19:24
  who came to the course and shed their actual seal skin that, you
• 1:19:29
  know, that this would have bred to a story of a you know what
• 1:19:34
  the selfies like. Oh, they, they, these people can
• 1:19:36
  because when, when they talk about there's, there was still
• 1:19:39
  people who like generations like not so long ago, we're still
• 1:19:46
  talking that they were descendants of seal people.
• 1:19:49
  And they would have said that like, oh, our descendants were
• 1:19:52
  seal people and they, they, they, the legend is like, we've
• 1:19:56
  still got them out when we were talking about the werewolves.
• 1:19:58
  There's say in Kilkenny, there's.
• 1:20:02
  Uh, people who come from like a certain area or a certain family
• 1:20:05
  inbred that my uncle Kenny, my sister married a Kenny man.
• 1:20:10
  So I hope you're not listening, but they talk about these people
• 1:20:16
  used to be wolves. That's that they were skin
• 1:20:19
  changers and that like up until a few generations ago, people
• 1:20:23
  were still talking about that we're descendants of skin
• 1:20:25
  changers. And so I like the theory is it's
• 1:20:30
  not. So it's not that I wonder, it's
• 1:20:32
  that there is a theory out there that it was just that these
• 1:20:35
  Norsemen or even eh, people from eh further feel like Greenland
• 1:20:41
  and stuff like eh yeah, in Inuit people who would have eh,
• 1:20:45
  traveled and you wouldn't have liked these kind of, they've got
• 1:20:49
  darker skin, these eh, brown deep.
• 1:20:54
  So yeah, they look like completely different from these
• 1:20:57
  fucking ginger inbred pale fucking Scots.
• 1:21:01
  So Ginbread. That's good.
• 1:21:05
  Ginbread sounds delicious. Lucky for you, I have historical
• 1:21:11
  receipts of the signings of these selfies, the first one
• 1:21:16
  being the Orkney siding in 1830. So this is one of the most
• 1:21:22
  famous eyewitness accounts. A group of fishermen off the
• 1:21:25
  coast of Orkney in brackets, the absolute hub of of selkie
• 1:21:29
  activity, reported seeing a pod of seals swimming near their
• 1:21:33
  boat. They claimed that the leader
• 1:21:36
  wasn't a seal, but a beautiful woman with long dark hair who
• 1:21:39
  was swimming right alongside them.
• 1:21:41
  They were so convinced that she was a selkie that they didn't
• 1:21:44
  even try to fish, they just watched her and the seals in
• 1:21:48
  total awe. Like at the time, like, you
• 1:21:51
  know, the, like, when you know, the like, say, Ireland and
• 1:21:56
  Scotland were such like isolated basics, like the idea of someone
• 1:22:01
  having like long dark hair, like, which is something that
• 1:22:03
  turns up a lot in these stories. Like, yeah, it's this exotic
• 1:22:07
  kind of thing because we were all just like, you know, mousy
• 1:22:10
  brown and ginger. And for someone to have like,
• 1:22:13
  you know, dark hair or white hair, it turns up in mythology
• 1:22:16
  again, again, again, because it's this thing of like, oh,
• 1:22:19
  they are from this other world. They are from this other place
• 1:22:22
  that is very special and they look different.
• 1:22:25
  And it's it's like really like celebrated cross cross
• 1:22:28
  mythology. And and then like Orkney.
• 1:22:31
  Orkney is a super interesting place.
• 1:22:33
  And like, it's this, like you said, it's a whole book, sulky
• 1:22:36
  activity. It's also a whole book like
• 1:22:38
  Neolithic activity. Yeah, the pigs.
• 1:22:40
  Yeah, have a shit load of yeah, butched kind of Neolithic
• 1:22:45
  changes there. So recently, or well, I say
• 1:22:48
  recently, sometime in the last 20 years, there was like this
• 1:22:50
  massive storm that hit the Orkney and it like wiped away
• 1:22:55
  like a bunch of this, I guess, like sand dunes and it unveiled.
• 1:22:59
  I think yeah, like a build up of like, yeah.
• 1:23:02
  Yeah, and it unveiled Scarabray, and it is an intact town and
• 1:23:07
  it's so fucking well preserved. So good.
• 1:23:09
  It's so like. There is, there is town,
• 1:23:12
  there's, it's a town, there's houses, there's roads, there's
• 1:23:14
  like, they know how these people live.
• 1:23:16
  They know how to interact with each other.
• 1:23:18
  They know how they they know how they traded goods to each other.
• 1:23:21
  They call it the Scottish Pompeii.
• 1:23:23
  It's yes, yes. It's incredible, like.
• 1:23:26
  And then like, you know, there's stone circles there.
• 1:23:28
  So you have all these like Neolithic, like, you know,
• 1:23:31
  flavours and Neolithic traditions that are there that
• 1:23:34
  are all over Ireland. Like, you know, IA couple of
• 1:23:37
  years ago, I spent a week in June driving around West Cork
• 1:23:41
  and Kerry just visiting Neolithic monuments.
• 1:23:43
  And there's stone circles down in like the the southwestern tip
• 1:23:48
  of Ireland. And then there's stone circles
• 1:23:50
  in the northeastern most tip of Scotland on this like isolated
• 1:23:54
  island. And it's just, it's the same
• 1:23:56
  people. Like we're all, you know, we're
• 1:23:58
  all just cousins and the same. The same designs, the spiral
• 1:24:03
  designs that you'll see on stuff like that, that they for
• 1:24:06
  whatever. Don't get me into fucking the
• 1:24:09
  the new range theories, but like, it's these, these designs
• 1:24:14
  that you'll see from one side of the British Isles to the next is
• 1:24:19
  fucking incredible. Yeah.
• 1:24:21
  And also on Orkney there is a town called 12.
• 1:24:24
  Yes. Love that for.
• 1:24:27
  That yeah, I've seen that as well.
• 1:24:30
  Yeah, I just wanted to end it on that, my little bit about
• 1:24:32
  Orkney, because I've always like lovely stuff about like, you
• 1:24:34
  know, Neolithic monuments and no, but.
• 1:24:37
  That you already asked up as well.
• 1:24:39
  Yeah, exclamation point. Yeah, I'm very interested in the
• 1:24:46
  the picks as well. And the thing the thing about
• 1:24:50
  this is like there's also the kind of the theories that like
• 1:24:56
  there was stuff there before the like, like Newgrange, for
• 1:25:01
  instance, is older than the Celts, like by a fucking long
• 1:25:05
  way. And they did, they assumed that
• 1:25:09
  it was made by these people. They called the Beaker people.
• 1:25:11
  The only reason they call them the Beaker people is because
• 1:25:13
  they found beakers like, yeah, implements for drinking out of
• 1:25:17
  like, so they just call these the beaker people, but they
• 1:25:19
  don't know anything else about these people that eh, were
• 1:25:23
  around when Newgrange was possibly built.
• 1:25:26
  Eh, So like the Celts stumbled across a lot of this stuff.
• 1:25:29
  So when we talk about these Neolithic structures and things
• 1:25:32
  like that, that would have been eh, they eh called pick dish
• 1:25:37
  Druid druids would have like put up these core cans of these
• 1:25:40
  diamonds and this this kind of stuff.
• 1:25:42
  And but they're not actually sure if it was depicts or if it
• 1:25:46
  was before those people as well. And because you can't date stone
• 1:25:51
  you now we can know we can have a look at the carvings and how
• 1:25:55
  we. Usually find like some animal
• 1:25:57
  bones and stuff like that. Yeah, animal.
• 1:25:59
  Bones but. But they could have been used
• 1:26:01
  hundreds of years after it was built, yes.
• 1:26:03
  Because they'll find these places where they have
• 1:26:06
  ritualistic animal and fires and stuff like that, yes.
• 1:26:09
  And they'll find hundreds of years of this.
• 1:26:11
  They'll. Find layers.
• 1:26:13
  Yes, exactly. They'll find how like, say you
• 1:26:15
  know, the like, let's say the Celts would have found something
• 1:26:19
  along the lines of new range or a dolman and they would have
• 1:26:22
  been like, they would have known that this is some kind of sacred
• 1:26:24
  space, and then they would have used it for what they would have
• 1:26:27
  interpreted as the same. Reason as exactly yeah,
• 1:26:30
  different religions using these different spaces.
• 1:26:32
  So what I was getting at with this is like where they call it
• 1:26:36
  the I think depict this spiral And yes, like those stones could
• 1:26:40
  have been there 1000 years before anyone carved on them.
• 1:26:44
  So we don't know, for instance that it.
• 1:26:46
  Could have been graffiti. Exactly.
• 1:26:48
  Like they even talk about that like in the in the great
• 1:26:52
  pyramids, like a lot of the right and that could have
• 1:26:54
  happened, could have been like they're like they say like, oh,
• 1:26:58
  this is 4000 years old. Not the writing is 4000 years
• 1:27:00
  old. You don't know how big this or
• 1:27:02
  how long this stroke is there. So.
• 1:27:04
  It's like Stonehenge even. It's like all those rocks are
• 1:27:11
  from a Welsh quarry. Yeah, there's like, there's no
• 1:27:14
  way that they could have, like it would have been fucking very,
• 1:27:17
  very difficult for them to haul them all the way up there.
• 1:27:20
  And that's where the whole aliens theory comes in, because
• 1:27:23
  it's like they had no way of like dragging all of those rocks
• 1:27:26
  for. Whales.
• 1:27:26
  Giant theories as well. There's that.
• 1:27:28
  They they. Yeah, we should.
• 1:27:30
  Do an episode of Giants. I love that so much.
• 1:27:33
  My my friend like from from here.
• 1:27:35
  So she didn't she'd never heard of the now I only loosely
• 1:27:39
  remember it, but the, the whole Giants Causeway thing.
• 1:27:42
  Oh yeah, yeah. And I didn't go into like I
• 1:27:45
  didn't Google or anything to like to.
• 1:27:47
  I just told her basically it's like, oh, there was 2 giants
• 1:27:49
  fighting from Scotland and Northern Ireland more than built
• 1:27:53
  a bridge. That's how the Giants Causeway
• 1:27:54
  was built because he walked across.
• 1:27:57
  Yeah. I can't remember Scottish Booker
• 1:28:00
  rang knock or something like that, but he was, yeah, he was a
• 1:28:02
  bad who are. Is that not?
• 1:28:04
  Who's your man who hit the the schlitter down the that?
• 1:28:08
  Was cool, Colin. That was cool, Colin.
• 1:28:10
  That was, yeah. But yeah, yeah, Mccool is either
• 1:28:13
  a hero or a giant, depending on the story.
• 1:28:16
  That is because he's basically Ireland's Hercules.
• 1:28:19
  Yeah. So we've all every.
• 1:28:20
  Yeah, like we've all got that archetypal hero.
• 1:28:24
  And then so he's a giant for the Giants Causeway.
• 1:28:27
  But then there's other stories where he's just a normal dude.
• 1:28:31
  Well, it's a big stronger. Like, I think that like there's
• 1:28:34
  another episode like, you know, Fiona and the FINA.
• 1:28:37
  And yeah. And yeah, like there's like, I
• 1:28:40
  want us to do more on like Irish and Celtic.
• 1:28:43
  That was fun and I want to do a whole tag that episode.
• 1:28:45
  Why aren't we doing the? Tag that, but yeah, but yeah,
• 1:28:50
  that was Fiona Mccool with the salmon and knowledge and then as
• 1:28:53
  well, Yeah. Oh no, Fiona is in, like so much
• 1:28:56
  of. Our.
• 1:28:57
  Mythology. And then his son or she's.
• 1:29:00
  Is in the salmon and knowledge well he's the older guy and
• 1:29:04
  that. That he meets at the campfire,
• 1:29:06
  isn't it? Yes, that's the guy.
• 1:29:07
  Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:29:10
  OK, so need. To refresh on all this.
• 1:29:12
  I. Remember them?
• 1:29:18
  I went to see King Lear actually as part of my exams in 6th year.
• 1:29:26
  King Lear kind of came off while I was researching the Salky
• 1:29:31
  stuff and I listen to it and the the king of your story because
• 1:29:35
  obviously, uh, Celtic tale of transformation.
• 1:29:39
  And yeah, the swan trope is kind of as out there as the sea trope
• 1:29:43
  as well. Like you've got.
• 1:29:44
  Like the children of Lure that was with the with the Swans.
• 1:29:48
  Yeah, and also like I. Think.
• 1:29:50
  Of that right. Yeah, yeah, like and like the
• 1:29:52
  the big dog and mythology of Ireland as well.
• 1:29:55
  Like, you know, so it's like Statanta, but there's also like,
• 1:29:58
  yeah, there's places in Ireland that like, you know, they're
• 1:30:00
  like stalked by the black dog that has like ires eyes, like
• 1:30:03
  fire and stuff like that. And again, that's something that
• 1:30:06
  like is across multiple, it's across multiple cultures and
• 1:30:10
  mythologies. But like that is like, like
• 1:30:12
  we've said, it goes back to like, you know, kind of a seed
• 1:30:14
  culture where like they were literally scared of wolves.
• 1:30:17
  And then it turns into this, like, how do you make children
• 1:30:20
  even more scared of wolves? Oh, they're evil spirits.
• 1:30:24
  And the wolfhound, the wolfhounds were in ghost
• 1:30:27
  stories. And like my friend, actually he
• 1:30:29
  had one back in the day and he was this fucking massive,
• 1:30:33
  massive dog. His name was Mceolan.
• 1:30:36
  His name was but he was huge fucking coward of a dog would
• 1:30:41
  shit. Himself.
• 1:30:42
  What's Orlan in? What would that be?
• 1:30:46
  They. That's what I'm.
• 1:30:50
  Thinking all is drinking, Yeah. Yeah, Well, that's a very Irish
• 1:30:53
  thing. Sons of drink, yeah.
• 1:30:54
  Yeah, but he was a fucking like a tank of a dog and he would
• 1:30:57
  shit himself if he came up the drive.
• 1:30:59
  He's like hide under a truck. Yeah, any.
• 1:31:01
  Blue wolfhound that we have now is not even the dog that we had,
• 1:31:07
  so like the size of them not. Half the size, yeah.
• 1:31:10
  Yeah. The ones that would have been
• 1:31:11
  around originally or even killed.
• 1:31:14
  Bears even. Yeah, they were actually like
• 1:31:17
  wolfhounds, yes. Yeah, exactly.
• 1:31:19
  So they were basically what we have now.
• 1:31:22
  Big dogs, but yeah, they were but.
• 1:31:24
  They were bred to kind of resemble a dog that went kind of
• 1:31:28
  extinct. So yeah.
• 1:31:29
  And. It was like it was the, the dog
• 1:31:32
  to the wolf. What like a Pitbull was
• 1:31:34
  originally bred for like that The Pitbull was brave to be.
• 1:31:38
  No, no, no. Pit bulls were the reason
• 1:31:40
  they're called pit bulls is because they were designed to be
• 1:31:43
  like super big and strong and they would clamp down on the,
• 1:31:46
  the bulls nose ring and they would, and they would like, you
• 1:31:50
  know, move the bull around like they were, they were brave.
• 1:31:53
  Yeah, yeah, They were bred to be absolute tanks.
• 1:31:56
  And. That's why like you get the
• 1:31:59
  Excel. Bullion in Africa.
• 1:32:01
  The nanny dog then. Aren't they?
• 1:32:03
  You can call them the nanny dog as well because like part of
• 1:32:05
  their breeding is that they're incredibly loyal and protective
• 1:32:09
  of. Protective.
• 1:32:10
  So you can like if you raise them right and you raise them to
• 1:32:13
  be soft, they will be amazing with children.
• 1:32:16
  They will be amazing with kids because they like a female, well
• 1:32:21
  the male as well. They will see like your kids as
• 1:32:23
  their kids and they will love them and protect them.
• 1:32:26
  And if they they. The thing is, the reason that
• 1:32:28
  there's so many people who get attacked by dogs is because the
• 1:32:30
  dogs think that someone is attacking the family to.
• 1:32:33
  Protect the dogs will just. Yeah, they have like this
• 1:32:36
  overdeveloped protective instinct and they will like, and
• 1:32:39
  sometimes it just goes wrong. And then like, you know, there's
• 1:32:41
  people. It's a whole problem.
• 1:32:43
  People will breed a dog to be reactive and then the dog will
• 1:32:47
  just murder someone. Just for show.
• 1:32:49
  And then and then people will be like, oh, this breed of dog is
• 1:32:52
  terrible. And it's like, no, the dog has
• 1:32:53
  been trained this. Breed of people are terrible.
• 1:32:56
  That's the book, that's exactly. It like my nail tech has an XL
• 1:33:00
  bully and she had him before the laws came in about whatever his
• 1:33:06
  name was. Pablo, right?
• 1:33:07
  He's the size of a fucking Shetland pony.
• 1:33:09
  He's massive, massive dog and I go to her house to get my nails
• 1:33:14
  done. She has her set up whatever and
• 1:33:16
  he'll come in and he will just try and he has to be on your lap
• 1:33:20
  this tank. He's so gentle and he'll just
• 1:33:22
  whinge if you're not petting him.
• 1:33:24
  He's just so sweet and so nice and like she said, like people
• 1:33:28
  will like cross the road when she's out walking him, but he
• 1:33:32
  won't so much as like pull on the leash.
• 1:33:34
  Like he's just so well behaved and good.
• 1:33:36
  She has two kids who like they hang off him like one of the
• 1:33:40
  like her little kids like gets into the crate with them and
• 1:33:43
  they sleep in the crate together.
• 1:33:44
  Like they fall asleep together. Like there's no kind of issue
• 1:33:47
  there. And I really do think it is just
• 1:33:49
  how you raise them that it's, it's going to be like behavior
• 1:33:54
  issues and things like that. And like, I like we've had dogs
• 1:33:57
  before that don't play well with other dogs at all.
• 1:33:59
  But you could be any kind of fucking human being and go up to
• 1:34:02
  him and he'll just, you're breaking into the house.
• 1:34:04
  He licked it to death. Like he just doesn't bother with
• 1:34:07
  people. Yeah, like boxers especially.
• 1:34:10
  Like, we had boxers and they're fucking idiots, but they're the
• 1:34:13
  best things in the world. Like they're so sweet.
• 1:34:16
  And then we had Hank, who's a Saint Bernard, and there's this
• 1:34:21
  guy that lived just a few doors down and he had.
• 1:34:25
  What are they called? They're not greyhounds.
• 1:34:26
  They're like greyhounds, Whippets.
• 1:34:28
  Whippets. Yeah.
• 1:34:29
  So he had. But he basically like he would
• 1:34:40
  sick the whippets on Hank. Hank was the same brand his name
• 1:34:44
  anytime my brother. So he's like.
• 1:34:46
  A bitch. Yeah, and these two fucking
• 1:34:48
  things would go at him. They'd hang out of him, like
• 1:34:51
  bite on to him and hang out of him.
• 1:34:52
  And he, they can't get shit himself.
• 1:34:54
  He didn't know what to do. And he just kind of Yelp and
• 1:34:56
  like get behind my brother. And my brother just went and got
• 1:34:59
  a hurl one day and just bet the head off one of the whippets
• 1:35:02
  because. We've been slapped.
• 1:35:04
  We've a big problem here. Still it's not as bad as it was
• 1:35:08
  but with with greyhounds and whippets of them just being
• 1:35:10
  abandoned because they're no good for race and are fighting
• 1:35:13
  like. If if it's horrible, I.
• 1:35:15
  Love greyhounds. Yeah, for hunting those
• 1:35:16
  greyhounds. And it's they're grey.
• 1:35:18
  Dogs. Yeah.
• 1:35:19
  Absolutely. Like they're fucking loyal to a
• 1:35:21
  fault and beautiful dog and lazy.
• 1:35:24
  People talk about like how that. 'D be.
• 1:35:25
  That'd be. They're so high energy.
• 1:35:29
  To keep them inside like there's a.
• 1:35:31
  Woman here. They're designed for a burst of
• 1:35:33
  energy, so bring them out for a run they'll.
• 1:35:37
  Sleep for the rest of the day and.
• 1:35:38
  They'll just sleep for the rest of the day, yeah.
• 1:35:40
  There's a woman here and she has a rescue greyhound who was
• 1:35:43
  basically beaten and I think he had his two back legs broke and
• 1:35:47
  he was dumped. And she found him when she was
• 1:35:52
  out walking and she brought him in and they were like, oh, like
• 1:35:55
  he might have to be put down. Just like, no, I'll take him
• 1:35:57
  like whatever you have to do with him.
• 1:35:59
  Like I'll take him whatever. He's fine.
• 1:36:02
  Made a full recovery. He's a little softy.
• 1:36:05
  Like he just wants his bed all the time.
• 1:36:07
  He wants cuddles all the time. If you run into him and like in
• 1:36:10
  the lobby or the lift, he's up to you.
• 1:36:12
  He just wants to be like he'll lie against you.
• 1:36:14
  He's so sweet and it's just like, you're like, it's so
• 1:36:19
  horrible. And why get these animals for
• 1:36:20
  money or for whatever the fuck you're getting them for if
• 1:36:23
  you're not going to just love them?
• 1:36:24
  Because some. People are just cunts.
• 1:36:27
  Yeah, and it's even like the types of like dumping kittens
• 1:36:31
  and things like that, like dumping a bag of puppies.
• 1:36:33
  Dumping a bag of kittens. Just drop them off somewhere, go
• 1:36:35
  to a rescue and be like, look, my cat had kittens.
• 1:36:39
  I don't want them. I don't have any intention of
• 1:36:42
  keeping them until someone else takes them.
• 1:36:44
  Here is a bag of kittens. Do the fucking right thing.
• 1:36:47
  Like instead of just being cruel and being horrible, like it's
• 1:36:50
  not that hard. It's just like.
• 1:36:52
  Madness in some people. It's a psychopathy.
• 1:36:53
  There is, there's, there's. Yeah.
• 1:36:55
  If you can, if you can be cruel to an animal.
• 1:36:59
  That's my measure of the human being.
• 1:37:01
  If you can be cruel to an animal.
• 1:37:03
  Absolutely. Yes, there's a lack of humanity
• 1:37:05
  there with you. Yeah, my mom always said that.
• 1:37:08
  She and she always said, no, I don't like animals, but I'd
• 1:37:11
  never be cruel to him. And I was like, I caught you
• 1:37:13
  cuddling that dog. Yeah.
• 1:37:16
  So many times and then when when we're home, she's like, get off
• 1:37:19
  me. You and the dog's like lying up
• 1:37:21
  against her. I'm like, he's so comfortable to
• 1:37:22
  do that that you do that when no one's here and I.
• 1:37:25
  Know it's that joke of like there's no greater love than the
• 1:37:29
  love between a dog and the dad. And someone who didn't want to.
• 1:37:33
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I, I love that so much.
• 1:37:36
  Like it's because it's true. Like, because like, you know,
• 1:37:39
  these animals will, like, they will just kind of go, OK, you're
• 1:37:42
  my person. And.
• 1:37:44
  And like like I have, I have three dogs, three tiny like
• 1:37:47
  Pomeranians and. Who act like giants.
• 1:37:51
  And they, they think they're big dogs.
• 1:37:52
  And The thing is like they they would put down their lives for
• 1:37:57
  my partner, like they would put down their lives for her.
• 1:38:00
  And it's just like that level of loyalty.
• 1:38:03
  No, no, for like literally what made her just like dad's OK, But
• 1:38:08
  like with with her, like they will stand in front of her in
• 1:38:11
  front of like, you know, an oncoming army.
• 1:38:13
  They're like, they're just dogs are are amazing.
• 1:38:16
  So, and they do, they do pick a person.
• 1:38:18
  But. Absolutely.
• 1:38:20
  So to bring back water dog seal the Shetland, I believe there
• 1:38:25
  was a also an encounter in Shetland.
• 1:38:28
  Yeah. Wait.
• 1:38:30
  No, I haven't got to that one yet.
• 1:38:34
  This was in. I know, I know.
• 1:38:35
  He does keep us on track. We would have.
• 1:38:37
  Talked about dogs. This is why like I spend all day
• 1:38:39
  saying Danny send me the notes so I can study the notes.
• 1:38:44
  I do send them when you. You do.
• 1:38:46
  OK, So Shetland. So Shetland In 1900, a young
• 1:38:50
  girl in the Shetland Islands reported sitting there not to
• 1:38:54
  cut it off. I'm not.
• 1:38:55
  I'm not direct me on where the Shetlands are.
• 1:38:58
  OK, so the Shetland Islands are near the Faroe Islands, so
• 1:39:02
  they're actually kind of in between Scotland, so not the
• 1:39:05
  northern coast of Scotland and the Shetland Islands then the
• 1:39:09
  Pharaohs. Right my my UK and Ireland
• 1:39:12
  geography. My geography in general is
• 1:39:13
  fucking terrible. I can name you every state in
• 1:39:16
  the US but if you ask me which way cabin is from Dublin like
• 1:39:19
  could not tell you. West I went.
• 1:39:22
  Everything is West. I went on a date with a girl
• 1:39:24
  from Faroe Islands before I got with my heart and.
• 1:39:29
  Like was she a junkie? Well, no, she was.
• 1:39:32
  She was. Answered both of those
• 1:39:33
  questions. Basically she was just Danish,
• 1:39:35
  so she had kind of like a Danish accent.
• 1:39:37
  So like, because, eh, she, she's technically Danish because the
• 1:39:43
  Fair Islands are a territory of Denmark.
• 1:39:46
  Of the Kingdom of Denmark, yeah. Same as Greenland, eh?
• 1:39:49
  So Donald Trump will probably want to come for the Fair
• 1:39:51
  Islands at some stage as well. So.
• 1:39:53
  Fat 1 Donald. But eh, yes, so it was just
• 1:39:59
  interesting. I was asked her a lot of
• 1:40:00
  questions about eh fair islands because like again, I
• 1:40:03
  technically only know like two things about the fair islands is
• 1:40:07
  because them. Brendan went there and he knows
• 1:40:10
  it was bullish. And yeah, yeah.
• 1:40:13
  Yeah, they have a very small football team that gets in all
• 1:40:17
  of the and. Beats our.
• 1:40:19
  Championships and does a good job against a shit Irish team.
• 1:40:23
  So I can just imagine you're like On this date with this
• 1:40:25
  woman and you don't know much about.
• 1:40:27
  Very autistic trial by the way, just.
• 1:40:29
  Saw and you're, you're trying to like make small talk and you're
• 1:40:31
  just like, so do they have many Pharaohs there?
• 1:40:35
  Yeah. When did the Egyptians get
• 1:40:38
  there? And what like so you guys are
• 1:40:40
  agreements pyramids, yes. Okay, yeah, so.
• 1:40:47
  Different, different face. So that's Pharaoh with an F,
• 1:40:50
  Danny, just so if you're going to look it up and.
• 1:40:52
  I know, I know, I know, I know. So in 1900, a young girl in the
• 1:40:57
  Shetland Islands reported seeing what she described as seal folk,
• 1:41:01
  which sounds quite hateful, weirdly on the shore near her
• 1:41:05
  home. Wiggle, pick and seal just.
• 1:41:11
  Imagine, like in a the sequel to Gran Turismo, Clint Eastwood.
• 1:41:16
  Post. Like.
• 1:41:17
  The Shetlands. Hey, get those winter pickers
• 1:41:20
  off my lawn. Oh.
• 1:41:22
  My God, it's going to be my new favorite insult.
• 1:41:25
  I I, I can tell, I can feel it. 2026 is the year of the Winkle
• 1:41:29
  picker. Like an.
• 1:41:31
  English accent. Like we're just going to think
• 1:41:32
  of the words of Winkle Picker now.
• 1:41:34
  Fucking. Winkle Picker that's on your
• 1:41:39
  shoes. I'm not that fucking winkle
• 1:41:42
  picker. Winkle picking bastard.
• 1:41:49
  So she didn't describe a glamorous mermaid, she described
• 1:41:53
  a creature with a seals body, but a human face and eyes that
• 1:41:57
  were filled with sadness body. I want people to refer to me as
• 1:42:03
  a. Creature sadness.
• 1:42:04
  A creature with a seals body? No, but a human face.
• 1:42:08
  Sadness. So basically she's describing
• 1:42:11
  she saw like, yeah, she saw Seal.
• 1:42:12
  That he's pussy. She saw a seal that had like,
• 1:42:15
  you know, Botox and. Lip.
• 1:42:17
  Filler. Yeah.
• 1:42:20
  That little pussy, yeah, but that, that's, that's it.
• 1:42:24
  She just said she saw Seal folk. So Seal with a face and sad
• 1:42:29
  eyes. OK.
• 1:42:31
  I'm like, I'm just excited. You were you were talking about
• 1:42:34
  like there was. So this is like the next part
• 1:42:36
  that Danny had, but you've already touched on it that there
• 1:42:38
  was this theory that like people came from like a more northerly
• 1:42:41
  place and they were dressed in seal like a seal fur because
• 1:42:47
  that is the practical like that is the animal that killed to
• 1:42:49
  create their pelts to create because, you know, they would
• 1:42:52
  have noticed. Oh well, these animals aren't
• 1:42:53
  dying of cold. Let's let's steal their.
• 1:42:55
  Screen. And they would have also like
• 1:42:58
  clad their boats in that because they were like, oh, it like it's
• 1:43:01
  really good in the water. It's waterproof.
• 1:43:03
  The water just kind of beads off of the fur.
• 1:43:05
  And so they would have like coated their canoes in it
• 1:43:09
  essentially. Yeah, so the, the both
• 1:43:11
  themselves actually would have been made from a combination of
• 1:43:19
  I think it was, I'm not sure if they said it was Willow or ash,
• 1:43:22
  but also elk bones like the the, the bones.
• 1:43:27
  Metal as hell. Yeah, so like.
• 1:43:29
  As you see this thing coming down this, this boat would
• 1:43:32
  actually have like ribs, you know, it would be actually.
• 1:43:36
  Made. Of actual bones.
• 1:43:37
  So when you see this, this and the divorce wouldn't have been
• 1:43:40
  big. Like if you picture well what
• 1:43:42
  I'm picturing is like a the the Irish Cora, but like one of
• 1:43:46
  these boats that has basically just a seal skin pulled over
• 1:43:53
  wood and bone with these people wearing seal skins inside them.
• 1:44:00
  Which like, you know, in like, you know what, They're like 16
• 1:44:02
  hundreds, the 1500s. Like that would have just been
• 1:44:05
  like, that's a demon. Like that is, that is something
• 1:44:08
  coming from the underground, the underworld.
• 1:44:11
  And it is fucking sailing across to this like misty ocean.
• 1:44:15
  And you're just like, yeah, but if you, if you think about it,
• 1:44:18
  and then you see like a person draped in like animal skin that
• 1:44:21
  you've never seen before. And then they they, they drop
• 1:44:23
  the animal skin and it turns out they're really attractive.
• 1:44:27
  Exactly. Yeah, especially like both men
• 1:44:30
  and women, because that's if, if it's Norse, that's people who
• 1:44:33
  would have been coming and like. Yes, yeah.
• 1:44:35
  They're and they're coming for their whole as well.
• 1:44:37
  They're not just blondes. Oh yeah.
• 1:44:39
  They're not just coming to to kind of pillage at that stage.
• 1:44:43
  Like like if you think about. Rape and.
• 1:44:45
  Village. If you.
• 1:44:47
  But if you think about umm, about the time that this would
• 1:44:51
  have been, so if you think with the Vikings, they they landed
• 1:44:55
  like it's 7700EH8070 yeah, like eh, and, and throughout like
• 1:45:04
  like up to like 900. And I'm kind of beyond like umm.
• 1:45:08
  So the people who would have came from before that, who would
• 1:45:15
  have been like, because these guys did, they had like the
• 1:45:17
  Vikings had long ships for the people who would have come in
• 1:45:20
  before that, who would have just arrived.
• 1:45:22
  That's like, you know, first it's like, you know, like the,
• 1:45:28
  the, the like 400, eh, 80 maybe even before that.
• 1:45:32
  Yeah. So if these people arrived like
• 1:45:34
  this is when all you have you like at in Ireland at the time,
• 1:45:39
  you didn't even have like Christianity hadn't landed yet.
• 1:45:42
  You didn't have like monasteries or anything like that.
• 1:45:44
  And and like Ireland also, it wasn't a kind of a a country, it
• 1:45:50
  was just a realm of tribe. It was, yeah.
• 1:45:53
  It was an island with just a bunch of like sparsely divided,
• 1:45:57
  like tribes, as you were saying, like clans and.
• 1:46:00
  Like, would it? It wouldn't have even been the
• 1:46:02
  bronze agent, would it? Or would it have just been like?
• 1:46:06
  Yeah, we they would have definitely had metallurgy as at
• 1:46:09
  that stage, I would imagine, yeah.
• 1:46:11
  So it would have been fairly like, you know, early in terms
• 1:46:14
  of like technological advancements that would, yeah,
• 1:46:17
  enable people to like travel to other, other places.
• 1:46:21
  Yeah, like I I again like the Irish would have had bought
• 1:46:25
  themselves like to be out fishing like when like a lot of
• 1:46:28
  these long distance. No, they get yeah, like just
• 1:46:31
  coastal Fisher boats like basically yeah, they're not
• 1:46:34
  born. Well if eh Brendan's voyage I
• 1:46:38
  think was 580 somewhere around there.
• 1:46:43
  So this probably would have predated that even.
• 1:46:47
  And if like. Brendan when he set off, so he
• 1:46:50
  ended up in like Shetland, right?
• 1:46:52
  He ended up in the Shetlands. Yeah, so he hit later.
• 1:46:55
  Well, he it doesn't say where he landed personal because he just
• 1:47:00
  describes the places that he landed.
• 1:47:02
  Yeah, and where did he set off from?
• 1:47:04
  And eh, like. I'm just, I'm like really
• 1:47:07
  rightly with that. I just I really want to say it
• 1:47:10
  was male somewhere in the in the.
• 1:47:13
  West in the West, Yeah, yeah. But not not the north.
• 1:47:17
  So like he he travelled north and hiss and hit the islands so.
• 1:47:26
  These islands. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:47:27
  So while so whatever he was, whatever he would have, he was
• 1:47:31
  kind of island hopping. So he went from like, if you
• 1:47:35
  think about where he mentions the descriptions are kind of
• 1:47:38
  like when he gets to the, the he mentions an island that was
• 1:47:41
  there filled with birds, eh, on the cliffs, and that was like
• 1:47:45
  the feral islands. And then he talks about the next
• 1:47:48
  place that he's talking about describes Iceland.
• 1:47:50
  And then the next place he talks about kind of describes
• 1:47:52
  Greenland. And then when he talks about,
• 1:47:55
  well, he also talks about a place where he found a fucking
• 1:47:58
  island of paradise. But we, I don't know, like what
• 1:48:00
  the stories he also described and Wales are what we could only
• 1:48:05
  like figure out most of them. Wales, who thought he saw as
• 1:48:08
  like a sea demon coming from fucking like, oh, from yeah, so.
• 1:48:13
  He would, he would have seen like, yeah, just anything that
• 1:48:15
  like isn't directly on the coast of Ireland.
• 1:48:17
  He would have been like walked up.
• 1:48:19
  Yeah. Focus.
• 1:48:19
  Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
• 1:48:21
  So then eventually he gets to what we assume is Newfoundland.
• 1:48:28
  And so like again, as Irish people, we want to claim this
• 1:48:31
  because they talk about leave Ericsson, get into, eh, get into
• 1:48:37
  the Americas as well. And that there was, umm,
• 1:48:41
  settlements, eh, Scandinavian settlements, Viking settlements,
• 1:48:44
  yeah, in North America. And they just kind of got there
• 1:48:47
  and it didn't really work out for them.
• 1:48:49
  And they either the people who were there died out or else
• 1:48:52
  they, they left. But for Irish people, we we like
• 1:48:56
  to say Sam Brendan discovered fucking eh America?
• 1:49:00
  We did that for that was us. We don't.
• 1:49:04
  Yeah, Newfoundland was actually, Newfoundland was actually a
• 1:49:07
  Pagan place before the Christians got their hands on
• 1:49:09
  it. Yeah.
• 1:49:10
  No, fucking the Brits came along and we're going to ruin it for
• 1:49:13
  the cast and but but no, like again, we're we're accounting
• 1:49:19
  for a lot of these things where who discovered America?
• 1:49:20
  But like there's people living there.
• 1:49:21
  So the guys who walked across the fucking Bering land bridge
• 1:49:24
  discovered America are came from a the the land bridge over the
• 1:49:29
  other side, the Chinese to true Alaska and sort of the Asian
• 1:49:33
  true Alaska. I just said Chinese because, but
• 1:49:38
  the Asian, the Asian land bridge that would have crossed over
• 1:49:41
  from Alaska. Yeah.
• 1:49:42
  So that's then when we we talk about the the features of the
• 1:49:48
  indigenous people in America like that they're what they
• 1:49:51
  would have looked like was a little bit more Pan Asian than
• 1:49:54
  European or you know, you know, it did.
• 1:49:58
  There is there was something like I was reading about like
• 1:50:02
  the the Pillars of the Pillars of Hercules, which were the it's
• 1:50:07
  the gap. When you're leaving the
• 1:50:08
  Mediterranean Sea. You're going to change the tip
• 1:50:11
  of Spain and Gibraltar and there is an account from like long
• 1:50:14
  before Europeans found America. There is a story of like if you
• 1:50:20
  just stay going in a straight line through that gate, there is
• 1:50:23
  a there is a land and a people there that you can encounter.
• 1:50:26
  Oh, very interesting. It's long, long, long before,
• 1:50:30
  like Christopher Columbus, long before Leaf Ericsson.
• 1:50:33
  Well, like we're talking like ancient Greek.
• 1:50:36
  Wow. So, you know, and it's just like
• 1:50:38
  one of these like little things. It's kind of a throwaway thing,
• 1:50:40
  but it's not some something that was ever like developed.
• 1:50:43
  That's something that could have very easily happened.
• 1:50:45
  Maybe, you know, the people who went over there, you know, like
• 1:50:48
  someone came back and told the story, but then the rest of it
• 1:50:50
  was lost because like, you know, obviously a lot of that stuff
• 1:50:52
  was so long ago that like, we only have the stories that
• 1:50:56
  survived. But they're the Pillars of
• 1:51:00
  Hercules there as well as is. There's some stories that link
• 1:51:05
  that to Atlantis as well. And where they would have talked
• 1:51:08
  about like the seafaring people of the world, of the world
• 1:51:11
  Atlantis, who like these guys are the ones who kind of kind of
• 1:51:15
  give kindling to the fire that is this ancient civilization
• 1:51:20
  that. Yeah, technologically advanced.
• 1:51:22
  Yeah, so they they would have known of America.
• 1:51:25
  There's like the the stories of them and Lemuria as well.
• 1:51:29
  So that's another kind of they call Lemuria the lost continent,
• 1:51:33
  which we could 100% be fucking we can that.
• 1:51:36
  One's out on the Pacific, isn't it?
• 1:51:38
  Yeah, so they talk about it and Lamoria being kind of eh out
• 1:51:42
  past New Zealand even like so did eh where we talk about a the
• 1:51:49
  Easter like Easter Island being out in the middle of nowhere and
• 1:51:51
  having people out there. So.
• 1:51:54
  So there's some some people will say that that is actually just
• 1:51:58
  the last remnants of a continent that sunk to the sea and that
• 1:52:04
  that was a massive continent named Lamori.
• 1:52:06
  Yeah. With the heads, right?
• 1:52:10
  Easter Island has the heads, yeah, but they've kind of more
• 1:52:13
  or less do be honest. They're not just heads as well.
• 1:52:15
  They just, they have. Massive.
• 1:52:17
  Bodies on them, yeah, but. They're like, they go that deep,
• 1:52:20
  don't they? That they're.
• 1:52:21
  Like this? There's no way this wasn't
• 1:52:24
  something else. That's something that like I
• 1:52:26
  have a lot of interest in ever since I was a kid.
• 1:52:28
  And one of the like, obviously everything to do with them is
• 1:52:32
  just like mystery, mystery, mystery, you know, like we are,
• 1:52:34
  we are guessing, we are extrapolating.
• 1:52:36
  We are, you know, you know, joining dots and all of the
• 1:52:41
  heads base inland except and I this number could be wrong, but
• 1:52:46
  except for you and the ones that are facing out are beside each
• 1:52:50
  other. And it's like, is this a
• 1:52:51
  gateway? What does this represent?
• 1:52:53
  Is this where both would launch from?
• 1:52:55
  And again, it's just like, why is it like this?
• 1:52:58
  We can only get and it's just all of this mystery around it.
• 1:53:03
  And I think I was introduced to sorry to Easter Island.
• 1:53:06
  There was an episode of Jonny Quest.
• 1:53:10
  Oh my God. OK.
• 1:53:12
  Jonny Quest Jonny Quest There was an episode of Jonny Quest
• 1:53:17
  that was on Easter Island and it was, of course, about aliens.
• 1:53:23
  Now, of course. Yeah, yeah, of course, of
• 1:53:25
  course. No other explanation.
• 1:53:27
  And I, I did see a video like a documentary about how they
• 1:53:37
  nearly like the people of Easter Island nearly went extinct
• 1:53:41
  because they, they fell all of the trees on the island.
• 1:53:47
  And because of that, they fucked up their whole ecosystem and
• 1:53:51
  they ruined the soil and they couldn't grow because.
• 1:53:53
  It's quite bare. Yes, so it's barren without
• 1:53:56
  without it so they they the weather kind of just got in and
• 1:54:01
  without without trees like what is it?
• 1:54:05
  It's kind of like a counterintuitive thing because
• 1:54:07
  they even we, we talk about eh, them rewilding with the, the
• 1:54:13
  mammoths and the step bison and the large elk, eh in this place,
• 1:54:18
  place the same park, eh, where they say they'll make these big
• 1:54:22
  animals. And so the animals will fuck up
• 1:54:25
  the, the trees. They'll, they'll come along and
• 1:54:27
  they'll, they'll, they'll fuck up the trees.
• 1:54:29
  And it doesn't make sense because you're like, Oh, we need
• 1:54:31
  trees. Like what?
• 1:54:32
  The problem is without these animals, they're not, they're
• 1:54:37
  not like turning over the soil and stuff like that.
• 1:54:40
  So grassland is taking over and the grassland is really bad for
• 1:54:44
  fucking areas. And that's what happened with
• 1:54:45
  Easter Island is that when the trees went, the soil became bad.
• 1:54:49
  The, there was nothing shielding the, the, the umm, island from
• 1:54:54
  the, the weather and basically every crop failed And these guys
• 1:55:00
  went crazy and thought that the, I think they actually started
• 1:55:03
  pulling down some of the fucking heads because they thought, oh,
• 1:55:06
  we've angered the, the gods. And gods.
• 1:55:09
  Yeah, or the gods have forsaken us.
• 1:55:11
  So they started pulling down these, or at least attempting to
• 1:55:14
  pull down these heads, but they they turned to cannibalism.
• 1:55:18
  It was kind of, it got really fucked up there for a while, but
• 1:55:21
  they put their. And.
• 1:55:22
  That's recently enough as well. Like how they did it?
• 1:55:25
  Yeah, there's a there's another episode now.
• 1:55:26
  I'm literally making a list of things that we've said we'll do
• 1:55:30
  episodes about and yeah, like if.
• 1:55:33
  Someone is we do this every episode.
• 1:55:35
  We're like we, we could do a whole episode and not we just
• 1:55:37
  never, we never talk about it again.
• 1:55:39
  I'm I'm gonna drag this kicking and screaming into more
• 1:55:43
  organization. I'm glad.
• 1:55:46
  That your autism is, is the kind of autism that will help this
• 1:55:49
  podcast, not like mine is. Like where she goes, Mine is all
• 1:55:52
  of. Manatees have pussies.
• 1:55:56
  So, Danny, the evidence there is evidence left behind of.
• 1:56:02
  No, you don't want my you don't want my evidence.
• 1:56:04
  I talked. I.
• 1:56:05
  Absolutely do. It has nothing to do with
• 1:56:06
  vaginas. So the thin men theory 1682 A
• 1:56:13
  little bit of a conspiracy theory, but in 1682 people in
• 1:56:18
  Orkney started reporting thin men.
• 1:56:21
  Men from the north basically arriving in those skin covered
• 1:56:26
  boats that we we just mentioned that looked like they were part
• 1:56:30
  of a man's body. Historians think that these
• 1:56:34
  might have been Inuit hunters from Greenland or the Arctic who
• 1:56:37
  got swept off course to a 17th century Scottish Islander.
• 1:56:41
  A person in a sealskin kayak who dives into the water and appears
• 1:56:48
  that disappears would look exactly like a selkie.
• 1:56:51
  Like if there. Were no just like.
• 1:56:53
  One man kayaks I had like I had a note written on this, like if
• 1:56:56
  they were using these like one man kayaks where they were
• 1:56:58
  wearing, they were wearing the same like protective skin that
• 1:57:02
  they have on their boat. So it looks like they're kind of
• 1:57:04
  like a Minotaur, but with a kayak.
• 1:57:07
  And then could you imagine, could you imagine if they, like,
• 1:57:09
  capsized and then came back up and you're just like, whoa,
• 1:57:12
  whoa, whoa, whoa. What the.
• 1:57:14
  What the fuck did that guy just do?
• 1:57:16
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, like, it would have
• 1:57:18
  looked like they're part of the boat.
• 1:57:19
  And then they're acting like, you know, you know, some kind of
• 1:57:24
  sea creature that they've never seen before.
• 1:57:26
  This is blowing my mind that this is in 1600s like.
• 1:57:30
  Yeah, but a lot of counts for. Me, this is ancient.
• 1:57:32
  This is ancient stuff. Well, like obviously in the
• 1:57:34
  Orkneys they already have the stories of the Selkies and stuff
• 1:57:37
  like that. Like that's that's going that's
• 1:57:40
  going on. But like now in the 1600s, like
• 1:57:43
  there's fucking castles with people playing.
• 1:57:46
  Loops, yeah, like but like open like the the, you know, like in
• 1:57:50
  the Orkneys as. Well.
• 1:57:52
  But like in the, in the Orkneys and like in the Shetlands, like,
• 1:57:56
  you know, they're still incredibly isolated.
• 1:57:59
  Like they wouldn't have been as like industrialized as like, you
• 1:58:02
  know, mainland Britain or mainland Ireland.
• 1:58:05
  So like, you know, they would have been quite far behind
• 1:58:08
  technologically, culturally. So like, you know, they still
• 1:58:11
  would have like seen someone, you know, coming across in a
• 1:58:14
  kayak and then like, that's a demon.
• 1:58:18
  That's a yeah, yeah. So then we've got the evidence
• 1:58:23
  left behind. So the Selkies grave, if you go
• 1:58:27
  to old orig Kirk in Scotland I think is it just called Kirk Now
• 1:58:34
  they just call it Kirk. Well, they have a place called
• 1:58:36
  Kirk, but this is like old Alrig Kirk.
• 1:58:39
  There is a literal grave known as Selfie's grave.
• 1:58:43
  A fisherman found a baby girl wrapped in sealskin on the
• 1:58:46
  beach. He raised her as his own but she
• 1:58:49
  was always different. She was autistic as fuck.
• 1:58:52
  Basically when she died they buried her there.
• 1:58:57
  Whether she was a literal shapeshifter or just a foundling
• 1:59:01
  with a mysterious past, the town treated the legend as fact.
• 1:59:04
  This was the first. I guarantee you autistic or Down
• 1:59:09
  syndrome child. They were like, that's a
• 1:59:11
  creature from something else. But like, do you know what I
• 1:59:14
  mean that that has to be what it is.
• 1:59:16
  She was different. Like probably what happened was
• 1:59:19
  someone had her, didn't want her for whatever reason, because I
• 1:59:23
  mean, like we used to hide our disabled relatives in the
• 1:59:26
  fucking attic in in Ireland. Not until very recently.
• 1:59:30
  I think it was a case of like someone had her.
• 1:59:32
  They're like, oh, that's that. That kid ain't right.
• 1:59:35
  And then just dumped her on the beach.
• 1:59:37
  Someone else Sounders like Oh she's obviously an
• 1:59:39
  interdimensional being or a selfie.
• 1:59:41
  I do believe that a lot of their like these kind of tales of like
• 1:59:45
  otherworldly things would come from people who have just like
• 1:59:48
  deformities. Disabilities.
• 1:59:51
  Things like that, like. When you say someone's away with
• 1:59:54
  the fairies, you know what I mean?
• 1:59:55
  Even just taking that like that's another thing to that's a
• 1:59:59
  really kind of like whimsical way to describe someone who
• 2:00:02
  probably just needs medication. Do you know what I mean?
• 2:00:05
  There's there's also kind of when I was going through this,
• 2:00:08
  there was there was talk of like when you see kids with eh web
• 2:00:14
  hands or feet would have laid kind of eh a little bit more
• 2:00:18
  fuel to this fire as well. I forget what's called.
• 2:00:20
  It's not dysplasia. So something some there is a
• 2:00:23
  name to it, eh, where like they're born with like web
• 2:00:26
  features and stuff like that. Yeah.
• 2:00:28
  And then where like when you see that, like people automatically
• 2:00:31
  look at that and be like, OK, I see web hands.
• 2:00:34
  You look at a seals fin or you look at like a duck or a swan
• 2:00:39
  and you're like. Creature that's not just like.
• 2:00:41
  Creature of the water, like so. Yeah, but you go, if you look
• 2:00:45
  through all of the different like periods of gestation, like
• 2:00:48
  you're, you are webbed for a little, you're like a little
• 2:00:50
  fucking creepy little thing for so long that a lot of these
• 2:00:54
  things like, and like a lot of babies are born with like tails
• 2:00:57
  and stuff that don't go away for a while.
• 2:00:59
  And because that's just how you develop when you're in the womb.
• 2:01:03
  And I guess you do have these like babies who'll come out and
• 2:01:06
  it doesn't fully go away and maybe it never fully goes away,
• 2:01:09
  but it always is something like explainable that they're like,
• 2:01:14
  oh, my child is ham goat for whatever fucking reason.
• 2:01:17
  Do you know what I mean? There's there's something there
• 2:01:19
  scientifically. And I think back then especially
• 2:01:22
  like we talked a bit about, I think is it one of the lost
• 2:01:25
  episodes? But we talked about Loftus Hall
• 2:01:29
  and basically the the whole reasoning for Anne, who had a
• 2:01:34
  baby and was basically locked away until she died.
• 2:01:38
  The baby was killed and then buried in the walls.
• 2:01:41
  They said that this was the Antichrist because she'd had sex
• 2:01:44
  with the devil who had wrote written up to lock us all.
• 2:01:47
  In reality, the baby was probably like very disabled when
• 2:01:50
  it was born. And that's why they said it was,
• 2:01:53
  you know, a child of the devil. It was demonic.
• 2:01:55
  It was not something that they. Wanted like we've, we've joked
• 2:01:58
  about like there was just a lot of inbreeding at this time.
• 2:02:01
  Yes. That's.
• 2:02:02
  That's another great point. This is probably just what would
• 2:02:05
  like tragically happen sometimes that there would just be like a
• 2:02:09
  lot of deformities. There would also just be like
• 2:02:11
  through like, you know, not to just say inbred, like you would
• 2:02:15
  have a lot of people who are very unhealthy, who are very
• 2:02:16
  malnourished and they were barely strong enough to carry a
• 2:02:20
  baby to full term. The baby wouldn't develop
• 2:02:22
  because they were like, nutritionally deficient in like,
• 2:02:25
  many ways. And it would be a miracle that
• 2:02:27
  the child would be born at all. And then when it would be born,
• 2:02:29
  it would be, you know, it wouldn't have developed fully
• 2:02:33
  because of the issues in that person's life because, like,
• 2:02:36
  life was fucking hard back then. And you see like the development
• 2:02:39
  stages of a fetus, like for a lot of it, they look like sea
• 2:02:43
  creatures. Yeah.
• 2:02:44
  Like there there is a good a good few weeks of a pregnancy
• 2:02:48
  where that fetus looks like a dolphin.
• 2:02:50
  Yeah. Like.
• 2:02:51
  Yeah, yeah. And that's.
• 2:02:51
  That's been like, you know, with a lot of not to get political,
• 2:02:54
  but like, with a lot of like, you know, pro-life lunatics when
• 2:02:58
  they. Yeah, Charlie Kirk, that yeah,
• 2:03:00
  yeah. Charlie Kirk got caught out with
• 2:03:01
  that where someone was just like, is this, is this a human
• 2:03:04
  being? And he was like, yes, of course,
• 2:03:05
  I have no doubt. And it's like, OK, it's a.
• 2:03:07
  Dolphin wasn't. The last thing Charlie Kirk
• 2:03:11
  caught lacking, but it's We won't get into that one.
• 2:03:15
  The neck of them. Tailors see Charlie Kirk's naked
• 2:03:19
  want to have sex? With.
• 2:03:27
  Can we just, can we just for a second, I just, I'm going to
• 2:03:30
  take it off topic again, but Eric, I'm living for Erica
• 2:03:35
  Kirk's morning tour. I'm just living for it.
• 2:03:40
  Because. Each show is just more I, I.
• 2:03:47
  It seems. Bigger and bigger.
• 2:03:49
  My husband is bad. Here's AT shirt Cannon.
• 2:03:51
  You get AT shirt, you get AT shirt.
• 2:03:53
  Yeah. Everybody gets AT shirt like I
• 2:03:56
  like, I like, I like. I said this to you, Ocean, the
• 2:03:59
  morning tour that she's doing. I love Melania Trump.
• 2:04:05
  I was I don't care. I.
• 2:04:07
  Love, you're another half an hour Melania Trump right now
• 2:04:10
  she's after. No, but I'm just saying.
• 2:04:12
  I I know she. Is like she's fucking off but
• 2:04:14
  she's also a robot. She's a she's a she's a selfie.
• 2:04:20
  She she's, she's something. She's.
• 2:04:22
  Something she's not like she's not fully on this and she.
• 2:04:26
  Hates him she's this beautiful thing that I.
• 2:04:29
  Was hello. And given a life, given a life
• 2:04:33
  where she can have all the things that she wants.
• 2:04:36
  And she was promised a good life.
• 2:04:38
  She was promised a good life by strangely.
• 2:04:40
  Treated that she would be treated very well and want for
• 2:04:45
  nothing but the only thing she wants is her freedom, she.
• 2:04:49
  Looks like if an antique dresser wish to be a woman.
• 2:04:53
  Jesus Christ. Like she's just like, she's just
• 2:04:56
  looks like an inanimate object that wish to come to life and
• 2:05:00
  she hates everything. You're an inanimate fucking
• 2:05:04
  object. Nice grace to yes.
• 2:05:07
  Yeah, and. I love it.
• 2:05:10
  I just I just think like hello and and she she's the best, just
• 2:05:15
  like she's just she's great, but I think like with her with Erica
• 2:05:19
  Kirk anyway, with her whole her whole tour that she's going on,
• 2:05:22
  her whole I'm so sad. Give me money for it.
• 2:05:27
  It just she, I think or so Candace Owens, who also is a
• 2:05:33
  fucking cunt and a bastard and like not to be trusted,
• 2:05:35
  whatever, but she had basically came out on a podcast and said
• 2:05:39
  Charlie was actually leaning quite liberal to the end, like I
• 2:05:43
  think oh, he wasn't. He wasn't leaning liberal.
• 2:05:45
  He was. He was questioning Israel,
• 2:05:47
  that's all. Yeah, he was questioning Israel.
• 2:05:49
  That's I was literally about to say that that's how she worded
• 2:05:52
  it as in leaning liberal because he was doing it.
• 2:05:55
  But Candace had been basically against Israel for the entire
• 2:06:00
  time and now she is a country is horrible.
• 2:06:02
  But she had described this as leaning left and that's why they
• 2:06:06
  couldn't have it and they were blah blah, whatever.
• 2:06:08
  And he got taken out. I do definitely believe it was
• 2:06:10
  an inside job. I don't think it was some
• 2:06:12
  fucking unhinged 20 year old being like, well, you don't like
• 2:06:15
  Trump as much as you say you do. I don't think that that was the
• 2:06:18
  case at all. I just think like her whole
• 2:06:22
  shit, she's not human those I she's a Cyborg.
• 2:06:27
  I I have jokingly suggested that we do an episode that will be
• 2:06:32
  titled What is Wrong with America?
• 2:06:35
  I wanted, I will do Melania. I will do it as Melania.
• 2:06:39
  But just just like their, their whole like the, the fake crystal
• 2:06:45
  fascism that they are performing and have always performed from
• 2:06:50
  like the days of like, you know, the, the, the pilgrims who went
• 2:06:54
  over there and we're living this like, you know, they, they left
• 2:06:57
  Britain because it was too liberal and they went over to to
• 2:07:01
  America and they, you know, they, they were like.
• 2:07:04
  Men wanted to go and wear heeled shoes and fill women.
• 2:07:08
  They're. Having.
• 2:07:08
  Matches in England, we want to burn them.
• 2:07:11
  That's why we were born to America.
• 2:07:14
  Yeah. Kitten heels.
• 2:07:16
  And so they, they, they have, you know, they have this like
• 2:07:18
  since the foundation of that country, they have this like.
• 2:07:22
  It's built on. Hate.
• 2:07:23
  No, but it's, it's built on, it's built on hate.
• 2:07:25
  But like, like, through, through every iteration and every
• 2:07:29
  generation there is like this like, weird Christian drive for
• 2:07:34
  conservatism, which is just like a drive for like, control and
• 2:07:37
  fascism and like, you know, like, you know, McCarthyism, you
• 2:07:41
  know, the witch trials, Yeah. The Satanic Panic, you know, the
• 2:07:47
  war on drugs. Which I.
• 2:07:48
  Wanted all the same. Satanic Panic, because that's
• 2:07:51
  crazy. Like.
• 2:07:52
  It's a. Position disguise as
• 2:07:54
  Christianity is that is. That what?
• 2:07:56
  Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
• 2:07:57
  That's they used, they used Christianity.
• 2:08:00
  They use Christianity, but. It's blowing my.
• 2:08:02
  Mind. But they they use Christianity
• 2:08:05
  as a way to make themselves seem pure and righteous.
• 2:08:10
  What they're doing is they are using that to be like, I'm
• 2:08:13
  against the gays because it's it's in the Bible and.
• 2:08:16
  The most hateful people like you could have imagined.
• 2:08:18
  They use their quote UN quote Christian faith to just be
• 2:08:22
  hateful. And, you know, like McCarthy was
• 2:08:24
  like that, you know, like it was the Red Menace, but it was like
• 2:08:27
  it was draped in Christianity. Yeah.
• 2:08:29
  Like the prohibition, which while not like an attack on a
• 2:08:34
  minority. It.
• 2:08:35
  Was absolutely. Driven prohibition was like I
• 2:08:40
  want my husband to stop beating the shit out of me and he seems
• 2:08:42
  to. Be but it was it was it was
• 2:08:44
  driven by this like very like strangely powerful vocal
• 2:08:49
  minority like it was literally just a handful of people who
• 2:08:52
  created prohibition and they they banned alcohol for like
• 2:08:54
  years. But like, yeah, like the
• 2:08:56
  president of America, like, had like a dash of alcohol in the
• 2:08:59
  White House. Absolutely.
• 2:09:01
  Yeah, it was. It was just like nudge, nudge,
• 2:09:03
  wink, wink. The little man can't get any
• 2:09:05
  drink. But then like just created and
• 2:09:07
  there's so. Many, yeah.
• 2:09:09
  And there's so many of these, like history, uh, documentaries
• 2:09:12
  and stuff that I've watched that like, most towns during that era
• 2:09:16
  and they're still there. Like until now they all had
• 2:09:19
  tunnels like smuggling tunnels. For shit like killed back there,
• 2:09:23
  it's not. Blue or water because it's
• 2:09:24
  actually so interesting that we should.
• 2:09:27
  It is. It is.
• 2:09:27
  It is. Yeah.
• 2:09:28
  I are OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 2:09:29
  Yeah, I'm not. I'm not calling you because I
• 2:09:31
  got. The reason why I'm putting it
• 2:09:32
  out there is because I was getting.
• 2:09:35
  We had into it so much to get, yeah.
• 2:09:37
  Doing on prohibition. Yeah.
• 2:09:38
  OK, so the mic. OK.
• 2:09:42
  Macadrome. Clan Macadrome Clan the Seal
• 2:09:45
  descendants. So the macadroms of North help.
• 2:09:48
  Host is. Host.
• 2:09:49
  Is that host West? What's UYSTUYST?
• 2:09:55
  Possibly East. I would I would say if you think
• 2:09:59
  about Ishka, it's probably isht. Isht Northeast OK our real
• 2:10:04
  family who for centuries were known as the macaodrums of the
• 2:10:08
  seals. They claim the claim they
• 2:10:11
  officially claimed to send from a union between a human man and
• 2:10:16
  a selkie woman. Many family members were born
• 2:10:19
  with ocean help, basically webbed fingers or toes.
• 2:10:23
  It's syntactly. It's syntactly, Yeah, sorry,
• 2:10:27
  it's syntactly here. Hip hop anonymous.
• 2:10:32
  Instead of seeing it as a medical condition, the community
• 2:10:35
  saw it as proof of their seal blood.
• 2:10:40
  Imagine having a family tree that literally starts in the
• 2:10:43
  Atlantic. Dactyl is the web thing.
• 2:10:49
  So if you think about a pterodactyl and they're yeah.
• 2:10:53
  So their wings are basically finger bones that are webbed.
• 2:10:57
  Yeah, it's, it's like when you see like the the bone structure
• 2:11:00
  of the wing, it's just big hands.
• 2:11:02
  Yeah. It's awesome and Baxter the same
• 2:11:05
  like the the the webs, the the spines of the wing are just
• 2:11:08
  fingers. Fingers, yeah.
• 2:11:10
  Which makes. You see the little, you see
• 2:11:12
  their little. Balls, You see the knuckles,
• 2:11:13
  like yeah, yeah. Yeah, and there are a I'm sorry,
• 2:11:18
  I should go ahead. So, yeah, just in terms of this
• 2:11:21
  island, this particular and so if it is like ished that is part
• 2:11:25
  of the Hebrides which is just off the West Coast.
• 2:11:28
  West Coast. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 2:11:30
  So again, it's like it's one of these islands that like off of
• 2:11:32
  Scotland vaguely towards Iceland.
• 2:11:38
  Right, so then we have the famous ballads.
• 2:11:43
  So a bunch of songs were written about the silky over the years,
• 2:11:50
  all kind of, I guess, sighting different, different things,
• 2:11:54
  different experiences. So the great silky of SH Sewell,
• 2:11:59
  Scary legendary song One of the Childs, One of the childbars
• 2:12:09
  tells the true story of a woman who has a baby with a man who
• 2:12:12
  reveals himself to be a selkie. He tells her I am a man upon the
• 2:12:16
  land. I am a selkie in the sea.
• 2:12:19
  Any drunk fuck can tell you that, but whatever.
• 2:12:22
  It's one of the oldest recorded accounts of a male selkie, and
• 2:12:27
  it ends with a tragic prophecy about their son.
• 2:12:29
  It was treated by locals not just as a song, but as a warning
• 2:12:33
  about the men of the just. Men in general.
• 2:12:35
  Not men of the sea, men in general.
• 2:12:38
  Basically. I don't know what the tragic
• 2:12:40
  prophecy was about the son. I assume the son died or was
• 2:12:44
  clubbed as a seal or something. I don't it.
• 2:12:46
  Was definitely something like don't go into the sea or you
• 2:12:49
  know like you know a sexy woman will will lure you in there like
• 2:12:54
  you know whether this. Is a man.
• 2:12:55
  A man. Yeah, so this was a husband and
• 2:12:59
  he said I am a man upon the land, I am a selkie in the sea.
• 2:13:04
  It ends with a tragic prophecy about their son.
• 2:13:08
  So I am assuming from the story that we we were talking about
• 2:13:11
  earlier that the sun was a seal pup at one point or something
• 2:13:15
  and got clubbed or got fished or whatever.
• 2:13:17
  Or or that like the prophecy would be that like, you know,
• 2:13:20
  the sea will always reclaim what belongs to.
• 2:13:23
  Yeah. Yeah, the kid drowned.
• 2:13:25
  Maybe. I don't know.
• 2:13:26
  That's usually like what these kind of these prophecies are
• 2:13:29
  that like, it's like Josie was saying earlier, like it is, you
• 2:13:34
  know, the sea will give you something, but take something
• 2:13:37
  away, it'll take a bigger bite out of you than you can take out
• 2:13:39
  a bit. Then we've got is it yoga?
• 2:13:43
  I would say GIOGA. GIOGA, yeah, sounds about right.
• 2:13:50
  Yoga. Yoga sounds about right.
• 2:13:51
  Yeah, so Yoga's son, a group of fishermen on Papa Stour Stour
• 2:13:58
  Sore, supposedly ambushed and skinned a group of seals.
• 2:14:03
  But it turned out that they were seal folk, and the spilling of
• 2:14:06
  their blood caused a literal supernatural surge in the ocean
• 2:14:09
  that nearly drowned the fisherman.
• 2:14:11
  One man was left behind on the rocks and only survived because
• 2:14:14
  a silky woman helped him on the condition that he returned the
• 2:14:17
  skins that they had stolen. Yeah.
• 2:14:22
  So like that would have definitely been like, you know,
• 2:14:24
  some kind of like a cautionary tale where someone was
• 2:14:28
  explaining like it was probably like like a tsunami it.
• 2:14:31
  Could have been a crew hand and then on a fishing boat because I
• 2:14:35
  don't I don't see why they she would leave them alive if he had
• 2:14:40
  of actively you know what I mean.
• 2:14:43
  I love how like a lot of these old like myths would have been
• 2:14:46
  like, you know, if there was like some like big event that
• 2:14:47
  happened where like, you know, the IT like a town was washed
• 2:14:50
  away by the sea, you know, through like a tsunami.
• 2:14:53
  They would have been like, how has this happened?
• 2:14:54
  How have we angered the sea? And it's like, Oh yeah, fucking
• 2:14:57
  Johnny was down there. We just told yesterday and he
• 2:14:59
  fucked up a whole family of seals.
• 2:15:01
  And then the sea came back and fucked up the whole town as as.
• 2:15:04
  Every single episode, I say it every single episode.
• 2:15:08
  Respect the sea. You have to respect the sea
• 2:15:11
  every episode. Well, yeah, I well.
• 2:15:14
  You would say that because you're a sea tard.
• 2:15:16
  I am, I really do think. That like that, that's what our
• 2:15:22
  Irish for Irish for yeah, no, well, that's that's a seal
• 2:15:30
  maiden. So what we would have called eh,
• 2:15:33
  like we we have got like eh. I think mermaid was something
• 2:15:36
  like margin Mara. Which is, I think, Mayan Mara or
• 2:15:41
  my Yeah. Yeah.
• 2:15:42
  So yeah, yeah, depending on whether you want to fucking hit
• 2:15:45
  that hard J or the soft J and but my Mayan Mara, but they get
• 2:15:51
  same thing. So seal, seal maiden was the
• 2:15:54
  same thing. So Mayan or margin raw, which is
• 2:15:58
  what I'm thinking of is do you think morning is called morning
• 2:16:01
  because maiden margin? Because women are.
• 2:16:05
  Women are. It's why.
• 2:16:08
  It's why it's called broad daylight.
• 2:16:09
  Because women are shining light. Maybe.
• 2:16:12
  Again, we are a pro woman Podcast 2 out.
• 2:16:15
  Of three of. US are pro women.
• 2:16:21
  No, but I do think the only reason I probably, yeah, it
• 2:16:24
  might have been a Rogue Wave coincidentally after they they
• 2:16:28
  clubbed these seals. And then if it was supernatural,
• 2:16:30
  it was silky like it was probably like a fucking crew
• 2:16:33
  hand who had nothing to do with it that got stranded.
• 2:16:37
  And she was just like, give me back to fucking coats.
• 2:16:40
  And then was just like, all right, okay, bye.
• 2:16:44
  It's fine. But yeah, I do like the selfie.
• 2:16:48
  I don't think scare me that much.
• 2:16:50
  I think something that scares me anymore is is sirens would scare
• 2:16:54
  me more. Oh.
• 2:16:55
  Yeah, like they're the ones that want to drag you into the ocean.
• 2:16:58
  Like jump overboard, king, jump overboard.
• 2:17:01
  They just want, they just want to fuck you up.
• 2:17:03
  Like they just want to like, like they're just straight up
• 2:17:05
  murdered. I.
• 2:17:07
  Don't know, I know. Justine does, but Ocean, do you
• 2:17:09
  watch what we do in the shadows? I I don't like, I've seen the
• 2:17:12
  movie and I've seen like one or two episodes.
• 2:17:15
  Watch, race. Watch, watch, watch the whole
• 2:17:17
  thing. So good, but there's an episode
• 2:17:20
  where Laszlo's it's Matt, Matt Berry's character and Colin
• 2:17:23
  Robinson. Who is you at the energy?
• 2:17:26
  Vast. New York City the most.
• 2:17:30
  Devious. Faster than new.
• 2:17:32
  York. City but like the guy who plays
• 2:17:36
  Colin Robinson is is so fucking funny.
• 2:17:38
  Just the driest Canadian, just boring man.
• 2:17:43
  And and there's a siren and like off the docks, fucking New
• 2:17:48
  Jersey and she's gross. She's like a seagull, but like a
• 2:17:52
  hot woman on top with a seagull on the bottom.
• 2:17:55
  And she's just like not even a good singer.
• 2:17:57
  She's just screaming. But it's it's just really funny
• 2:18:00
  that it's like. That's good.
• 2:18:03
  It's the best show. It's so clever because it does
• 2:18:05
  go into like a lot of like old kind of folklore and stuff about
• 2:18:08
  like demonology and everything. It's so funny, like which is
• 2:18:12
  stealing your semen and everything.
• 2:18:13
  It's like it's just. Great.
• 2:18:15
  We've all been there. So they had a lot of trouble.
• 2:18:18
  Yeah, Yeah, they did. The haunted doll is.
• 2:18:21
  The job. So good, so funny.
• 2:18:23
  I have seen how Laszlo is trying to make a Frankenstein's monster
• 2:18:28
  like it's like a regular thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 2:18:31
  Yeah, and like, Laszlo's character is so fucking good
• 2:18:35
  because he's it's just Matt Berry.
• 2:18:36
  He doesn't give a fuck about what's going on in the house.
• 2:18:41
  Like all characters have their own thing, but he just is
• 2:18:44
  separate completely. Like he doesn't give a fuck.
• 2:18:46
  He's just always like and there's like him and the Colin
• 2:18:50
  Robinson's kind of because Laszlo is very out there, very
• 2:18:53
  sexual, very like just was in all of these.
• 2:18:55
  What does he call like porno movies?
• 2:18:58
  He says porno, but he's just like crazy.
• 2:19:02
  And then he's like Colin Robinson like is an energy
• 2:19:06
  vampire. He hits 100, he dies and he
• 2:19:07
  comes comes back as a baby and then Lazlo raised him as his
• 2:19:10
  own. Yeah, and.
• 2:19:12
  It's such a. Weird hearing.
• 2:19:14
  It's so funny. And then like Colin Robinson's
• 2:19:16
  like obsessed with musicals and he can sing and then Lazlo just
• 2:19:18
  takes him on the road as this like singing kid.
• 2:19:21
  But yeah, I need. To I need to watch I need.
• 2:19:25
  To. Watch.
• 2:19:26
  It's so funny. It's very, very funny.
• 2:19:29
  It's really, really good. And I think that didn't they
• 2:19:31
  just finish it the last season? Yeah, I think that was the last
• 2:19:34
  1, I think. Yeah, it's it's just so funny.
• 2:19:37
  Like the whole cast is is great. It's really good.
• 2:19:40
  And but that was that was the last of my notes about the
• 2:19:42
  selfie. Yeah, I can, I can I just clear
• 2:19:45
  up that I I I was telling us before this, but I did, I did
• 2:19:50
  confuse the selfie and like I kind of mashed them into one
• 2:19:56
  when I was thinking about what last week when we were going to
• 2:19:58
  mention that. And and there is the other
• 2:20:01
  creature. I don't know if there's enough
• 2:20:03
  umm, I. Don't know anything about this
• 2:20:06
  creature, so give us as much as you got.
• 2:20:08
  This one is called. This one is called the Kelpie
• 2:20:11
  and it is another mythical creature, water based.
• 2:20:15
  But this is a lot more sinister, a little bit more malevolent
• 2:20:19
  than you've got. So basically it's not a it's not
• 2:20:24
  a skin changer per SE. It's, it's a horse and it's
• 2:20:29
  known to have been like so in the water, I think as some will
• 2:20:32
  say that it, it transforms to a seal, but normally people would
• 2:20:38
  just see this. So the kelpie is basically a
• 2:20:40
  horse, normally a black or dark horse and it's always dripping
• 2:20:44
  wet and it seems quite Placid or friendly even.
• 2:20:50
  And, and the idea is if you get near this Black Horse and you
• 2:20:57
  touch it, you get stuck to this, to this horse and yeah, and it
• 2:21:04
  drags you into the waters, the body of water.
• 2:21:06
  So whatever it is, if it's the sea or a lake or even, or it's
• 2:21:09
  known to like be in rivers. And like, if you, eh, you would
• 2:21:13
  have heard of it in, in like the, the woods or the forests as
• 2:21:17
  well. And again, it's, it was easy to
• 2:21:21
  take because they, you know, Kel selkie and a kelpie kind of
• 2:21:25
  sounds quite similar. So like that's where the
• 2:21:27
  confusion came to me. So, and after looking up, I was
• 2:21:31
  like, how come I keep saying horse when it comes to selkie?
• 2:21:33
  And then I was like, oh, it's this kelpie.
• 2:21:37
  And and I did. Pull up a couple notes on it OK
• 2:21:41
  if you wanted to talk. About it if you want.
• 2:21:43
  To get it out there before we go.
• 2:21:46
  So the Kelpies, where are we? While Silkies are gentle,
• 2:21:51
  soulful and just want to go home, Kelpies are dangerous,
• 2:21:54
  chaotic. They are shape shifting water
• 2:21:57
  spirits that usually look like a breathtaking beautiful Black
• 2:21:59
  Horse standing by the water's edge.
• 2:22:02
  The kelpies most famous move is standing by a river or Loch
• 2:22:05
  looking like a lost tame pony. It waits for a tired traveller
• 2:22:10
  or curious child to think, oh, like, got to help this horse.
• 2:22:13
  Basically, the second you touch or sit on a kelpie or skin glues
• 2:22:18
  to theirs and you can't let go. The infinite back legend says
• 2:22:24
  their backs can stretch. One story tells of 10 children
• 2:22:28
  who all climbed on one horse at once because it just kept
• 2:22:31
  getting longer. Once the passengers are stuck,
• 2:22:39
  the kelpie galloped straight into the deepest part of the
• 2:22:41
  water. The only thing that ever washes
• 2:22:43
  back up is the victim's liver. Oh, it didn't hear that.
• 2:22:47
  Which is. Crazy.
• 2:22:49
  So the one of the most famous record recorded encounters is
• 2:22:54
  the 10 children of the Highlands.
• 2:22:56
  This is the most famous kelpie story.
• 2:22:58
  A group of kids found a pretty pony by a lot. 9 of them climbed
• 2:23:03
  on and got stuck. The tense child who was more
• 2:23:06
  suspicious just petted the horse's nose and his hand got
• 2:23:10
  stuck to save himself. The boy had to cut off his own
• 2:23:14
  finger with a pocket knife to get free.
• 2:23:16
  He watched as the kelpie dragged his nine friends into the
• 2:23:19
  depths. The ultimate listen to your gut
• 2:23:22
  lesson in this famous encounter. Oh yeah, no, that's a different
• 2:23:26
  encounter. But yeah, you did mention that
• 2:23:29
  one before we started recording the only.
• 2:23:32
  Way you can get out of it is to kind of mutilate your body and
• 2:23:35
  like yes. Yeah, to basically free yourself
• 2:23:38
  from from the animal, but this one is the River Cannon.
• 2:23:45
  A group of people by the River Cannon heard a booming, eerie
• 2:23:48
  voice from the water cry out. The arrow has come, but not the
• 2:23:51
  man OK it. Happens to be all the.
• 2:23:59
  Time. I know I'm going to start saying
• 2:24:01
  that now where it's. Going it's where I'm like now
• 2:24:03
  has. Come but.
• 2:24:05
  Not that's where I go to. That's where I go to read my
• 2:24:07
  poetry. Guys, come on.
• 2:24:08
  I'll like get out. So a man then came charging
• 2:24:13
  towards the river looking like he was in a trance, desperate to
• 2:24:16
  cross. The locals had to physically
• 2:24:19
  tackle him and lock him in a church to stop him from
• 2:24:22
  drowning. So this guy just ran towards the
• 2:24:26
  lake because he couldn't come. Apparently the kelpie eventually
• 2:24:30
  plunged itself into the water in a rage because it missed its
• 2:24:34
  meal. And then we have the Kelpie of
• 2:24:39
  Lochgarve. A builder once found a beautiful
• 2:24:42
  Black Horse near his cottage and hopped on.
• 2:24:44
  Why do people do this? Like why do you think that the
• 2:24:47
  the horse is like ready to be ridden?
• 2:24:49
  I'm going to tell you. Find a fucking.
• 2:24:51
  I'm going to tell you this exact thing happened the other day to
• 2:24:54
  me, so I left. Work.
• 2:24:56
  You write it. Listen, right.
• 2:24:59
  So I left, OK, I left work now it was my it was my early shift.
• 2:25:03
  Eh, you guys know I've it was actually my early shift today,
• 2:25:05
  but it was so it was this day last week.
• 2:25:07
  Start at what, 3:00 AM? Yes, I started like 3:00 AM
• 2:25:10
  yeah, I was after doing my early shift and I leave a little bit
• 2:25:12
  earlier than than everybody else.
• 2:25:15
  So I was very wary. I was after doing about eh 9/9
• 2:25:18
  and 1/2 hours and work and I I exited the building.
• 2:25:24
  Now big booking, big ass warehouse, but we have eh, eh,
• 2:25:30
  there's like the car park and then there's like the field
• 2:25:34
  behind the the the car park, but it's like still all part like
• 2:25:38
  it's not fenced off or anything like that.
• 2:25:40
  It's just it's like a big garden.
• 2:25:41
  They have some beehives in it because some bullshit about the
• 2:25:44
  environment that they're letting, they're letting on do
• 2:25:47
  and. She's a beekeeper.
• 2:25:49
  Fantastic. I'm sure you're doing it for the
• 2:25:51
  right causes. I'm sure my fucking
• 2:25:53
  multinational conglomerate is doing it for a fucking tax
• 2:25:55
  break. But anyways.
• 2:25:57
  Yes, yes. Yeah, so and I walk out and
• 2:26:02
  there's a fucking pie ball horse just kind of wandering up and
• 2:26:07
  down near a hedgerow at the edge of his.
• 2:26:11
  Knackers horse. Kind of, yeah.
• 2:26:13
  But I wouldn't say that, Danny, because I travelers, I still
• 2:26:18
  live on this. I still live on this island and
• 2:26:20
  I don't want to get my house burned out.
• 2:26:22
  Umm, so yes, a an itinerant or a traveler's eh looking.
• 2:26:26
  Horse of the Soil. Eh this this horse would, yes,
• 2:26:30
  look like it would eh, you know, its owner would push an arsenal
• 2:26:34
  can and that's how my eh grandfather stay that that lad
• 2:26:39
  put an arsenal can fear that or he's a thinker, but eh yeah.
• 2:26:43
  So yeah, the horse is just wandering up and down and I like
• 2:26:49
  was, I didn't know whether I, I was like, can can anyone else
• 2:26:54
  see this horse? But I looked around, there's
• 2:26:55
  nobody else in this car park and I just started was.
• 2:26:59
  It well looked after. The horse looked like grand,
• 2:27:02
  yeah, but I just know it looked like it was kind of in distress.
• 2:27:05
  I wanted to get back into the field and I walked directly
• 2:27:09
  towards a horse like I like, I passed my car and I walked about
• 2:27:16
  300 meters towards that horse and I got within maybe, you
• 2:27:23
  know, two or three meters at a horse.
• 2:27:25
  And, and it was, I noticed it was a little bit more distressed
• 2:27:29
  by my presence. So yeah, I was trying to.
• 2:27:31
  I came up and I was like, are you OK?
• 2:27:34
  You're fucking weirdo. You were like talking to me.
• 2:27:37
  I think, yeah, you're going to be OK.
• 2:27:39
  I thought I was going to walk up to it and just put my hands
• 2:27:42
  down. Yeah.
• 2:27:43
  And it was, I was going to fucking, you know, Dances With
• 2:27:46
  Wolves. This horse and have it fucking
• 2:27:48
  just lie down. And.
• 2:27:50
  It's step. One seduce alone.
• 2:27:52
  But you know, like when we talked about earlier, we were
• 2:27:55
  talking about earlier on with the people in there, that's what
• 2:27:57
  I was like. This thing could kick my head
• 2:27:59
  into a field, but and you're. Like it's going to sense my good
• 2:28:02
  life. It's going to calm down and it's
• 2:28:05
  going to bend. No, I'm good and.
• 2:28:08
  This could have been a. Fucking Kelpie.
• 2:28:10
  Because I went and it kind of got a little bit more distress
• 2:28:15
  and then I backed off and I just left it alone.
• 2:28:17
  I left it in peace. I rang back into the office and
• 2:28:20
  I said, listen, guys, this is going to sound fucking weird,
• 2:28:24
  but there's a fucking horse out here in this field and I don't
• 2:28:28
  know who I have to talk there or who has to deal with this.
• 2:28:31
  But like, this is the beyond my pay grade.
• 2:28:35
  So like, whatever you do. And the guy in the office was
• 2:28:37
  like, I don't know what to do either.
• 2:28:39
  We'll talk to somebody. Your hands and then the Hulk.
• 2:28:42
  You're like sons. Get real.
• 2:28:44
  Yeah, but I, Yeah. But eventually someone else came
• 2:28:52
  out of the building and I said, can you do me a favor?
• 2:28:56
  Can you see what? Can you see that?
• 2:28:58
  And your mind was, yeah, there's a horse up there.
• 2:28:59
  And I went thank Jesus Christ that you can see yourself.
• 2:29:02
  That was. Taking the horse trance.
• 2:29:04
  But eh, eh, Yeah, So I like. If so, you're in there.
• 2:29:09
  Who? Goes near the fucking.
• 2:29:11
  Horse I'm that spa who's chopping off his finger, getting
• 2:29:14
  dragged into the river because I.
• 2:29:15
  Would I would do that? 100% if I see, absolutely.
• 2:29:18
  If I see something and I walk in love.
• 2:29:20
  Like back in my carpentry days, I was like, eh, open the the
• 2:29:28
  fucking mountains in Wicklow and there was a very rich.
• 2:29:33
  The Wicklow Mountains are terrifying.
• 2:29:35
  There's something going. On this isn't that yeah wildness
• 2:29:38
  this is I was a building stables for this very very rich a horse
• 2:29:43
  trainer who like eh I was looking like the prices are on
• 2:29:48
  the gates for these horses and how much it is to get your horse
• 2:29:52
  sired by this and like they were all in the half 1,000,000 and
• 2:29:55
  stuff like that. I used to go in in the mornings
• 2:29:58
  and I was just, I was mesmerized by these horses.
• 2:30:01
  Like I used just go in and like That's why when I talk about
• 2:30:04
  like I'd love to do to be like if I could buy some land, I
• 2:30:08
  probably never will because I'm a bum, but I'd love to like have
• 2:30:13
  a couple of ponies and like this rewind.
• 2:30:16
  Horses as well are massive. These these are massive like
• 2:30:20
  these are all like proper like, you know.
• 2:30:22
  Just like great horses are giant, yeah?
• 2:30:25
  Yes, yeah, they're like Grand National winners are they're
• 2:30:28
  they're big. Laughs like somebody's if the
• 2:30:31
  horse a sizing Europe that was a big expensive horse back in the
• 2:30:37
  day and he would have won like the the British Grand National.
• 2:30:42
  I think someone, there's no one listening to this fucking thing
• 2:30:45
  that's going to know is a true fact but anyone wants.
• 2:30:49
  A bunch of Americans in Canadians, If you know about it
• 2:30:52
  then feel free. Apparently this is this this
• 2:30:56
  horse I looked at the stood fee for the horse was like 700,000
• 2:31:04
  and for all of these. What happens though, if that so
• 2:31:07
  say, if you pay right? And it's a door.
• 2:31:10
  For that horse, yeah. What happens that you get a full
• 2:31:13
  refund or do you know? That I was just building the
• 2:31:15
  stables, I wasn't jerking off the horses.
• 2:31:17
  So I, I, I genuinely don't know, but I, I, I'd be interested to
• 2:31:21
  know, is there like with that contract, is there a guaranteed
• 2:31:25
  ball? Like I'd imagine that would
• 2:31:27
  happen. And do they?
• 2:31:28
  They do only have like typically 1 foal at a time, right?
• 2:31:31
  Yeah. So, yeah, so it's like, it's,
• 2:31:33
  yeah, it's a big animal. So like they have a large
• 2:31:36
  gestational period as well. Like, so like a couple of
• 2:31:38
  horses. And a lot of the time they do
• 2:31:39
  artificial insemination as well. So it's not well.
• 2:31:42
  It's a Turkey based technically. Kind of not with these horses.
• 2:31:45
  They they do they do like. Well, like.
• 2:31:47
  Natural. And then that's more of a bovine
• 2:31:49
  thing like so like with with bulls.
• 2:31:51
  Oh, OK, they'll. Yeah, they do they insemination,
• 2:31:54
  don't they? With them, Yeah.
• 2:31:55
  They do it with horses. Mike Rice talks about that a lot
• 2:31:59
  when he with his Yeah. So he he grew up.
• 2:32:03
  Jerking off bulls. On a on a dairy farm and yeah,
• 2:32:07
  he would do a lot of of impregnating.
• 2:32:10
  Yeah, well, there there would have been a lot of artificial
• 2:32:15
  insemination among the horses as well.
• 2:32:17
  But a lot of these guys will will kind of want the natural
• 2:32:24
  way because it's it's, they think that it's the, it's a.
• 2:32:30
  Better. Fool.
• 2:32:31
  Yeah, the ACT itself will produce a better foot.
• 2:32:34
  So like if you have a distressed horse or semen that has to
• 2:32:37
  travel. Stressed Horse.
• 2:32:39
  Yeah, like usually my semen only travels from cock to belly
• 2:32:43
  button. But like it's, it's a if you
• 2:32:46
  have to get it like from, you know, stood farm to stood farm,
• 2:32:51
  like, you know, if you have to get from.
• 2:32:52
  Kildare to somewhere in rural France.
• 2:32:55
  Exactly. Yeah, Yeah, it.
• 2:32:57
  Doesn't travel. Well.
• 2:32:58
  Anyway, let me finish this because I've only got, like, a
• 2:32:59
  little bit left on it. So the kelpie of of Lochgarve.
• 2:33:05
  I just did that one, didn't I? Yeah.
• 2:33:07
  So how to spot a kelpie in human form?
• 2:33:10
  Kelpies don't just stay as horses.
• 2:33:12
  They turn into humans, usually handsome men, which I'm safe.
• 2:33:18
  I'm fine. I like ugly dudes to lure people
• 2:33:21
  in. I would never I I would have
• 2:33:23
  like the most handsome kelpie. I'm like you're grand, thanks.
• 2:33:28
  You don't play hockey and you have all of your own teeth.
• 2:33:31
  Stay away from me. So you'll be.
• 2:33:34
  Drawn to Shrek's donkey? Yeah, I'd.
• 2:33:38
  Go for the donkey. Absolutely go for the donkey.
• 2:33:43
  But there are telltale signs. So if you meet a hottie by a
• 2:33:46
  lock, check their hair. Kelpies always have seaweed or
• 2:33:52
  water weeds tangled in their hair.
• 2:33:55
  Yeah. Usually like imagine running
• 2:33:57
  into someone and being like, oh, he's hot, he's got seaweed in
• 2:33:59
  his hair. But like I I would he smells
• 2:34:03
  like crying and. It's.
• 2:34:09
  Probably. Like seaweed in his hair.
• 2:34:10
  Like he's OK. He's a good dad.
• 2:34:15
  And. Or waterweed.
• 2:34:16
  Yeah, waterweed. The feet.
• 2:34:18
  In some legends, they can't hide their hooves even when they look
• 2:34:23
  human. I would get caught by that
• 2:34:25
  because the guys I typically go for wear hockey skates.
• 2:34:28
  And have hooves. And have hooves.
• 2:34:31
  Yeah, the drip, they're this is so gross.
• 2:34:34
  They're always slightly damp if his wet look.
• 2:34:38
  Hair never dries. Fucking Jason Memoir.
• 2:34:41
  Get back. To you, son.
• 2:34:44
  Of a bitch. So basically how to win the
• 2:34:49
  bridal secret? If you're brave, you can
• 2:34:51
  actually defeat a kelpie. Their power is all in their
• 2:34:55
  bridal. If you can snatch the bridal off
• 2:34:58
  a kelpie, it has to obey you. The legend says that my greater
• 2:35:02
  clan. That's it, The bridal is just
• 2:35:06
  his fucking sealskin. Take it off.
• 2:35:08
  Oh. If you could, get a bridal and a
• 2:35:10
  sealskin and make them ride. What?
• 2:35:13
  Did this show me you? Did the horse.
• 2:35:16
  That horse fuck. Did the horse that you saw have
• 2:35:20
  a bridle? No.
• 2:35:22
  I'm gonna copy then. No, he's a regular horse.
• 2:35:24
  Then yeah, Item. So legend.
• 2:35:26
  I imagined. Legend says that the McGregor
• 2:35:30
  clan used to have a kelpie's bridle passed down through
• 2:35:33
  generations. Who the?
• 2:35:37
  Fuck. And then they they sold that
• 2:35:42
  bride to buy cocaine. Yeah.
• 2:35:45
  Legit. Or crisp Armani shirts, as the
• 2:35:49
  dad says. Made of cocaine.
• 2:35:52
  There's even a story about a man who used a captured kelpie to
• 2:35:55
  haul massive stones to build a church.
• 2:35:58
  Once he let it go, the kelpie. Cursed the church.
• 2:36:01
  Saying that it would never be finished.
• 2:36:03
  And then the most modern sighting are the Kelpies of
• 2:36:07
  Falkirk. If you ever go to Scotland, you
• 2:36:10
  have to see the Kelpies. There are there are two 30m high
• 2:36:14
  steel horse hands, hands, heads. Fucking hell, you're fair, Kirk.
• 2:36:20
  They're absolutely stunning, a little bit haunting, a perfect
• 2:36:22
  attribute to the most powerful spirit in the water.
• 2:36:26
  So yeah, that's all I have on like on Kelpies, but they sound
• 2:36:31
  a lot less, a lot less welcoming than Selkies.
• 2:36:34
  Kelpies, selkies and everything in between.
• 2:36:39
  That's kind of. The name of this episode?
• 2:36:42
  We've, I think we've, we've hit it now, have we?
• 2:36:45
  I think everybody's learned. We've learned a lot about sexy
• 2:36:52
  cryptids from the ocean. Yeah, should we start doing?
• 2:36:56
  Uh. On next week's episode or.
• 2:37:00
  No, because then you, you, you do that when you're booking up.
• 2:37:03
  To be. To be even.
• 2:37:04
  No, I'm not. I'm not drunk.
• 2:37:05
  Never. To be No, you're not.
• 2:37:06
  Actually, I have very my. You're doing very well today.
• 2:37:10
  Thank you. I have my gacy nose done so I
• 2:37:13
  think we should probably just. Do gacy, Yeah.
• 2:37:16
  That makes sense. We'll do Gacy, we're done a
• 2:37:20
  little. Gacy does you.
• 2:37:21
  Normally that's not there. You don't do gacy.
• 2:37:23
  Gacy does you? In Wisconsin, Gacy does you.
• 2:37:28
  But yeah, next week John Wayne Gacy, everyone's favorite clown.
• 2:37:33
  I've had a lot of fun researching this.
• 2:37:35
  I've only wanted to kill myself twice and it's yeah, I.
• 2:37:39
  Think Casey is rough but it's I can't wait to do a whole week of
• 2:37:43
  listening to podcasts about fucking John Don Wayne or and
• 2:37:47
  then go or she will tell you he wasn't.
• 2:37:51
  Yeah, no Oshin, I'll tell you like I I sent him over the first
• 2:37:55
  half of the notes. I just went before he even
• 2:37:57
  started killing. It's 7 pages like said pushing
• 2:38:00
  over because I'll send them to you just as well just to go into
• 2:38:04
  his back story because everything just nothing makes
• 2:38:07
  sense. And it all it all just builds
• 2:38:10
  and adds to like when he when he.
• 2:38:13
  Finally does. And when he finally, like
• 2:38:15
  carries out his act, like you kind of look at everything that
• 2:38:18
  came before it and you're just like.
• 2:38:19
  Ah. Oh OK, yes I see how how all of
• 2:38:22
  this is added on. It's AI think a nice.
• 2:38:25
  Every time we do, that's exactly like the Richard Ramirez episode
• 2:38:32
  that we don't The most interesting stuff about him was
• 2:38:35
  before he started, like the different, different kind of
• 2:38:39
  influences in his life that popped them up.
• 2:38:42
  Yeah, Leon, I think I have like another another like 5 pages to
• 2:38:46
  add to just him before he started killing because he's
• 2:38:49
  just a fucking crazy person. He's just a horrible person
• 2:38:53
  before any of the shit that he started doing, which we will
• 2:38:58
  obviously tell next week, but. Yeah.
• 2:39:01
  I hope that you like. I just want to give one last
• 2:39:03
  fact that I think is interesting and that's this is where I'll
• 2:39:06
  leave it at that the Irish word for a jellyfish is a smogarla
• 2:39:16
  Ron, which translates into seals not and I just think I'm not.
• 2:39:22
  You're the actress that we have. That's that's Saoirse.
• 2:39:26
  That's fantastic. Why, you've just done there,
• 2:39:28
  Danny, but Smogarla, Ron? Is in Brooklyn, is a.
• 2:39:36
  Seals not, but yeah, so jellyfish, the Irish for
• 2:39:42
  jellyfish translates in English to the snot of the seal.
• 2:39:48
  And I just think that's beautiful use of language.
• 2:39:52
  I love that because everyone says that the Irish is such a
• 2:39:55
  romantic language. It's just, it's such a weird
• 2:39:57
  translation to everything but. It's such a, it's such like an
• 2:40:02
  honest description of like, you know, you look into your and
• 2:40:05
  you're just like, that looks like it's not what could have
• 2:40:07
  created that. And then like a seal Swan Bay
• 2:40:09
  and you're just like, ah, OK, got it.
• 2:40:11
  Yeah, yeah. I understand.
• 2:40:12
  The world. You say something the Irish
• 2:40:15
  language like from what I again, I'm in no way I I could read a
• 2:40:19
  bit of Irish. I'm not no way.
• 2:40:22
  Sam. Yeah, I think I.
• 2:40:24
  Wouldn't understand, it said to me.
• 2:40:26
  I don't think I could say it back.
• 2:40:27
  To you. Like I think.
• 2:40:29
  I'm not I'm not one for so I can't come on here and be like
• 2:40:32
  guys, the Irish language you should learn and stuff like
• 2:40:35
  that. I'd love to do it myself.
• 2:40:36
  I'm just riddled me too with a brain disorder but I follow like
• 2:40:42
  pages that explain like Irish words that are actually kind of
• 2:40:47
  gone out of use. Because they don't do it.
• 2:40:49
  And it's, if you look at the kind of talk about the ocean and
• 2:40:58
  the sea and the seaside, there's so many words for so many
• 2:41:02
  different things that we don't really like.
• 2:41:06
  There's different words for different ways that the water
• 2:41:09
  moves. There's different words for the
• 2:41:12
  way that water that the light listens on the water.
• 2:41:16
  Like just eh, it's it's. Even just how Irish people
• 2:41:22
  speak, like my ex used to, oh, he still has like he still talks
• 2:41:28
  like he's Irish, like we spent seven years ago.
• 2:41:31
  And like he'll say tiny and he's like, oh, sure, look.
• 2:41:33
  And it's just such a it's, it's such a small way of like either
• 2:41:37
  ending the conversation or just accepting something just Asher
• 2:41:41
  look. And then like Usher, there he is
• 2:41:43
  now. And he still says these things
• 2:41:45
  and he's just like, I think they'll just stay with me.
• 2:41:47
  Because if you spend 7 years of an Irish person, they just
• 2:41:51
  they're, they just seem like the best possible way of describing
• 2:41:54
  these things or like, at least you know what I mean.
• 2:41:57
  And like Usher one. Of my favorite aspects of like
• 2:42:01
  the the Irish language is the the emotional side of things and
• 2:42:07
  how we describe because like what people talk about with the
• 2:42:10
  depression and stuff like that is that that we we don't talk
• 2:42:14
  about that I. Am with his.
• 2:42:16
  Nerves, yeah, we know about the like they just the way it
• 2:42:19
  actually like it translates over.
• 2:42:21
  So in like English people will say I'm depressed, but in in
• 2:42:28
  Ireland, in Ireland we'd say, well in the Irish language it
• 2:42:31
  would translate that the depression is on me.
• 2:42:34
  Yes, the. Feeling is on me.
• 2:42:36
  I am. I'm not the sadness.
• 2:42:38
  I'm not the sadness. And the sadness is.
• 2:42:41
  Feeling is the feeling is on me. So like that's yeah, it's and I
• 2:42:45
  can just, I can take that, that someday that feeling is going to
• 2:42:47
  come off. I am not, I am not my feelings.
• 2:42:50
  And we, we disassociate the person from the feeling.
• 2:42:54
  The feeling is is there. It's part of it.
• 2:42:58
  It's something we are actually feeling, but it's not something
• 2:43:02
  that we are. And it's like, no, eh, when.
• 2:43:05
  Yeah. And I think that's, it's a
• 2:43:07
  beautiful use of it. And I, I love the fact that in
• 2:43:09
  Ireland we don't have an exact translation for the word.
• 2:43:13
  Sorry. What we say is no, Paul
• 2:43:16
  Bronneram, which means the sadness is on me.
• 2:43:20
  So yeah. For what I did to you, for the
• 2:43:23
  inconvenience they have caused you.
• 2:43:25
  Yeah, I have given myself sadness.
• 2:43:28
  So that's so the sadness is now on me.
• 2:43:31
  And I think that's just a beautiful turn of language that
• 2:43:35
  we have, that we, we eh, we don't need words for every
• 2:43:41
  little for for every, eh, kind of interaction we have now out
• 2:43:46
  there in nature. We have a word for fucking
• 2:43:49
  everything. We have a word for the
• 2:43:50
  different, for the different wings of a bee.
• 2:43:53
  But yeah, for feelings we have we we don't associate them as
• 2:44:00
  us. They're on us and like the words
• 2:44:03
  that we have for like sorry and even hello, we don't have a
• 2:44:06
  direct hello. We have AI say it at the start
• 2:44:10
  of every podcast. It's God be with you, David.
• 2:44:14
  And that really fucks me off, actually.
• 2:44:16
  Fucks me off. We don't like.
• 2:44:17
  I think we should, yeah. Because like we're so like
• 2:44:20
  entrenched in like Christianity that like the way that we say,
• 2:44:24
  the way that we say hello, is God be with you and, you know,
• 2:44:27
  God also be with you. Yeah.
• 2:44:29
  It's just it's. God, I'm really with you.
• 2:44:31
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a but would like put my my
• 2:44:39
  feeling towards that again, it does kind of fuck me off a
• 2:44:41
  little bit because the Catholic Church is ingrained and so
• 2:44:43
  inside of us. But before Christianity came, we
• 2:44:48
  obviously didn't have a word for hello Dan.
• 2:44:50
  We would have said the gods be with you.
• 2:44:54
  You get yeah, other ways we go back, we revert back to using
• 2:44:57
  that. So like, I'd still kind of like
• 2:45:02
  the fact that we say that kind of a thing because again, I
• 2:45:04
  don't believe in Catholic and ascotic church.
• 2:45:08
  I also, I just, I don't, but I also don't really believe in a
• 2:45:13
  bunch of eh, like the two of the Dannon and fucking all those
• 2:45:17
  guys. Eh yeah, my again, we, there's
• 2:45:20
  no point in getting into like my belief system now.
• 2:45:22
  But like, it's a lot more ethereal and fucking out there
• 2:45:26
  than just like. These you are a romantic.
• 2:45:29
  Yeah, to. Be fair.
• 2:45:29
  It's it's. Not.
• 2:45:30
  Just these kind. Of deities.
• 2:45:32
  It's kind of I, I think more along like, I think more
• 2:45:35
  cosmically when it comes to that kind of stuff.
• 2:45:37
  I still enjoy the fact that the the the people's greeting to you
• 2:45:42
  wasn't just hello. This is the word.
• 2:45:45
  Yeah, this is. Well, as I'm greeting you, the
• 2:45:48
  thing I hope that you like, the thing I hold dearest in my life
• 2:45:52
  is God. And I hope he's with you if you
• 2:45:56
  get me. So are you?
• 2:45:57
  Sure, just better. We're just better people.
• 2:45:59
  The sentiment. The sentiment is beautiful, but
• 2:46:02
  again, I don't I'm not a big fan of saying God be with you
• 2:46:06
  because I'm not a godly person, but no the.
• 2:46:09
  People who? Use that would have said the God
• 2:46:13
  that we all fucking worship. I hope he's with you.
• 2:46:16
  And that's how I say hello. I don't just have a word.
• 2:46:19
  Just to say. No, there's a greeting.
• 2:46:21
  It's the words that I'm using to greet you are the best
• 2:46:27
  intentions that I can have is to give to you and I just think
• 2:46:32
  that's beautiful. It is, and I think one thing
• 2:46:35
  that I really hate being in the UK is that you OK is like a
• 2:46:40
  greeting here and I fucking hate that.
• 2:46:42
  It's like I always take that as like, why wouldn't I be?
• 2:46:46
  I was like, yeah, I'm fine. Are you I just it never sounds
• 2:46:50
  like a genuine like hi, how are you just Oh, you OK, Like yeah,
• 2:46:56
  we wouldn't it be. Whereas like.
• 2:46:58
  If we were talking as an Irish person and he might say.
• 2:47:02
  Something we say, how are you, but we don't.
• 2:47:04
  But that isn't no, you don't want that.
• 2:47:06
  You don't want it right? No, if I say.
• 2:47:09
  Don't we say, how are you the right responses?
• 2:47:12
  How are you back? And neither of us are going to
• 2:47:14
  answer how we are. No, it's just the way because we
• 2:47:17
  don't have a, we don't have a hello.
• 2:47:19
  We don't have a hello is our hello.
• 2:47:22
  And it's like, all right, yeah, OK.
• 2:47:24
  I'm like, I'm fine. Why?
• 2:47:26
  That's immediately where my brain goes when it comes to the
• 2:47:29
  UK. I'm just like, why are you
• 2:47:30
  asking me that? Of course I'm OK.
• 2:47:31
  Why wouldn't I be OK? I don't want a small talk to you
• 2:47:34
  on the street, I want a big talk to people on a podcast. 2 hours
• 2:47:38
  and 47 minutes and 30 seconds in that we've gone way over by.
• 2:47:41
  We've almost hit the full robe in here.
• 2:47:43
  I can see ocean like Ocean's gone.
• 2:47:47
  Ocean's like slamming his phone. I He's done.
• 2:47:53
  I haven't eaten, I haven't showered.
• 2:47:57
  I was hopeful that we would do an hour.
• 2:48:01
  It's never an. Hour.
• 2:48:03
  It's never you're, you're, you're.
• 2:48:04
  You have to plan and you want to do it.
• 2:48:06
  Wednesdays, you have to block out three hours.
• 2:48:09
  I'm sorry, but you just do. Ladies and gentlemen, this has
• 2:48:15
  been hocus pocus lack of folklore.
• 2:48:19
  Thank you. Thank you for hanging out with
• 2:48:23
  us for a spell. I've been just the she's been
• 2:48:27
  coherent and hey. Which is in my street.
• 2:48:30
  Yeah, and he's been Ocean and yes, claw and laugh all this.
• 2:48:39
  She's dying. She's like, I hate you, but it's
• 2:48:41
  like quit. I'm.
• 2:48:43
  Dying I've needed. I've.
• 2:48:47
  Needed.