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Success is a journey, not a destination · The Aligned Actor

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome back to the Aligned Actor substack,
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: podcast,
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: YouTube video,
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: wherever you have found this content,
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: I welcome you.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Amy Schlerb.
• 0:11
  I am a mindfulness and mindset coach and I help actors ride the
• 0:16
  roller coaster of
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: being an actor without throwing up.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: And September is my actorversary,
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  the anniversary of when I became a professional actor by moving
• 0:28
  to Los Angeles and
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  SPEAKER_00: starting my acting career.
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  And so I always like to reflect at this time and look back at
• 0:34
  how far I've come.
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  SPEAKER_00: And a number of years ago,
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  SPEAKER_00: I wrote myself a letter,
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  SPEAKER_00: like a letter to my younger self,
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  SPEAKER_00: the version of me that had just moved out to Los Angeles offering advice.
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  SPEAKER_00: And so this year I decided that I wanted to go look at that letter,
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  SPEAKER_00: see what advice I had offered myself back then,
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  SPEAKER_00: and see if I still like that advice,
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  SPEAKER_00: if there's things that I would change about that advice,
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  SPEAKER_00: or if there's also stuff that I would add now as extra advice,
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  SPEAKER_00: more advice,
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  SPEAKER_00: to pile on top of newly arrived baby actor in LA,
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: Amy.
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  SPEAKER_00: And so that's what we're going to do.
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  And I had a lot of advice,
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  apparently,
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  for my younger self just starting out.
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  And so this is just part one of a series of Substack podcast
• 1:25
  YouTube videos that
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: we're going to do because I didn't want any of these to get...
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  SPEAKER_00: out of control long.
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  SPEAKER_00: So we've divided it up into a number of different parts.
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  SPEAKER_00: So this is part one,
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  SPEAKER_00: success is a journey,
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  SPEAKER_00: not a destination,
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  SPEAKER_00: which I still really like this advice.
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  SPEAKER_00: This is great advice.
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  So let's read now what younger actor Amy had to say to even
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  younger actor Amy and
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  SPEAKER_00: then older actor Amy,
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  SPEAKER_00: more mature,
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  SPEAKER_00: more wise.
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  finely aged actor Amy,
• 2:01
  now actor Amy,
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  will chime in with extra additional thoughts as well.
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  SPEAKER_00: So let's just dive into this.
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  SPEAKER_00: I'm just going to read it here for you.
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  SPEAKER_00: Dear Amy,
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  SPEAKER_00: Success is a journey, not a destination.
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  SPEAKER_00: I know,
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  I know you've seen this on magnets and sometimes you even think
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  you understand and
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  SPEAKER_00: believe it,
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  SPEAKER_00: but there's still something nagging at the back of your mind saying,
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  SPEAKER_00: yeah,
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  SPEAKER_00: but once I achieve that,
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  SPEAKER_00: then I'll really be successful.
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  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, no.
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  SPEAKER_00: If you believe success is a destination,
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  SPEAKER_00: You'll just end up hustling,
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  SPEAKER_00: striving,
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  SPEAKER_00: and holding yourself apart from happiness and a sense of accomplishment.
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  SPEAKER_00: You have success now.
• 2:44
  High school Amy Schlerb believed that success was graduating
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  and getting into a good college.
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  College Amy Schlerb believed success was,
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  again,
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  graduating and starting a good career.
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  SPEAKER_00: Now that you've arrived in LA,
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  you're thinking success means booking bigger and better acting
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  jobs consistently
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  SPEAKER_00: and continuously until you're the next Reese Witherspoon.
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  Not going to lie,
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  I still sometimes think that,
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  but then I remember the truth.
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  SPEAKER_00: Setting goals is great,
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  but continuously moving the goalpost on what it means to be
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  successful is soul
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  SPEAKER_00: crushing.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to read that again because I think it's really important.
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  SPEAKER_00: Setting goals is great,
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  but continuously moving the goalpost on what it means to be
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  successful is soul
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  SPEAKER_00: crushing.
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  SPEAKER_00: If you keep thinking,
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  SPEAKER_00: yeah,
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  SPEAKER_00: I did that,
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  SPEAKER_00: good for me,
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  SPEAKER_00: but now real success is up there,
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  SPEAKER_00: guess what?
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  Real success will always be up there,
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  wherever the F either of those things are.
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  SPEAKER_00: I actually wrote that in there.
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  SPEAKER_00: Instead, put the goalpost of success inside you.
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  SPEAKER_00: What?
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  SPEAKER_00: What the heck does that mean?
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  SPEAKER_00: I wrote that in too.
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  SPEAKER_00: It was very witty.
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  It means enjoy the process and the journey because,
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  spoiler alert,
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  that's all there is.
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  SPEAKER_00: Journey.
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  And then more journey,
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  some more journey,
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  a quick detour journey to a foreign country.
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  SPEAKER_00: Oops, I've said too much.
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  SPEAKER_00: Followed by, you guessed it, more journey.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's quite a trip.
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  SPEAKER_00: Oh, stop rolling your eyes.
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  SPEAKER_00: You know that was funny.
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  SPEAKER_00: I'm a very witty writer, apparently, when I'm writing to my younger self.
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  There's going to be ups and downs,
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  highs and lows,
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  abundance and slow times.
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  SPEAKER_00: And the sooner you recognize that that's just what this career is,
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  SPEAKER_00: the happier you're going to be overall.
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  SPEAKER_00: You're in the arena.
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  SPEAKER_00: Look up the Roosevelt quote.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's good.
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  SPEAKER_00: I really encourage everybody to do that.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's a very, very good quote.
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  We're probably going to talk about that in another Substack or
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  YouTube video podcast thing.
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  SPEAKER_00: I did talk about it on the podcast at one point.
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  And I'll link up the episode where I talk about it because it's
• 5:01
  a really good quote.
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  SPEAKER_00: That was a complete sidebar.
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  SPEAKER_00: All right, let's get back to the letter.
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  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
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  SPEAKER_00: You're in the arena.
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  SPEAKER_00: Look up the Roosevelt quote.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's good.
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  SPEAKER_00: And that means you're already successful.
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  SPEAKER_00: So like I said at the top of this,
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  I still really love this advice because it basically means we
• 5:23
  get to define
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  SPEAKER_00: success.
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  And I've talked about this before on Substack pretty recently
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  and on YouTube,
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  SPEAKER_00: but I'll link those pieces up so that you can find them easily because
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  it's a really important thing to think about,
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  about how we define success.
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  SPEAKER_00: So the way that Google and some kind of dictionary,
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  I think online where I looked this up before for a different
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  content offering,
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  SPEAKER_00: the way that they define success is,
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  SPEAKER_00: success is an,
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: sorry,
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  SPEAKER_00: success is defined as the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.
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  And I want us all to find a definition of success that allows
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  us to feel good about ourselves.
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  That's what I really think is important in terms of when it
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  comes to our mindset
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  SPEAKER_00: about ourselves and how we're going to approach ourselves and the world.
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  SPEAKER_00: So if you define success as engaging in the journey of being an actor,
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  then ta-da success anything that you do that's you engaging in
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  the life of an actor
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  auditions taking headshots submitting yourself for roles uh
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  meeting with your agent
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  getting a new agent if you need one going on commercial
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  auditions networking
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  SPEAKER_00: literally anything that you do that furthers your acting career all of a
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  an act of success because you're just doing it you're just
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  being an actor and doing
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  the things that actors do on the flip side though if you choose
• 7:04
  destination based
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  success then things get a lot trickier for the longest time
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  I've had the goal of
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  playing a recurring character on a fun tv show and that hasn't
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  happened yet I would
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  SPEAKER_00: really like to achieve that success let's say
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  SPEAKER_00: But if I choose to define success overall for myself as recurring role,
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  then everything else that I've achieved in my career starts to
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  kind of look like a
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  SPEAKER_00: failure.
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  SPEAKER_00: And I start to feel like I'm failing.
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  SPEAKER_00: I haven't achieved that, so therefore I'm not successful.
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  SPEAKER_00: I'm a failure.
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  SPEAKER_00: Why would I do that to myself?
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  SPEAKER_00: Why would I view it like that?
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  SPEAKER_00: It's a lot smarter
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  SPEAKER_00: to define success based on what I can control.
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  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I did that self tape.
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  SPEAKER_00: I played that character the way that I wanted to play them.
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  SPEAKER_00: I hit all the beats that I wanted to hit.
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  SPEAKER_00: I connected with my reader really well.
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  I felt really present and in the moment,
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  I really went after what I wanted in that scene.
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  And defining success that way,
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  deciding that that's the measure of success based on what I
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  did,
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  SPEAKER_00: Rather than success being based on what others do,
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  SPEAKER_00: the stuff that I can't control,
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  SPEAKER_00: how casting sees the video,
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  SPEAKER_00: what casting thinks of the video,
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  SPEAKER_00: which videos they choose to pass on to production,
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  SPEAKER_00: how production sees the video,
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  SPEAKER_00: what they actually need out of this role,
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  the heights of the other actors and how I line up in terms of
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  all of that.
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  SPEAKER_00: I can't control that stuff.
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  SPEAKER_00: I can't control what auditions come my way.
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  SPEAKER_00: I can't control what types of roles are casting.
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  SPEAKER_00: Maybe there's just not casting anything that works for me at the moment.
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  SPEAKER_00: And that's just how it is.
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  SPEAKER_00: I have no control over that.
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  SPEAKER_00: I can't control how casting responds to my work.
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  SPEAKER_00: I can't control how production responds to my work.
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  SPEAKER_00: What I can control is how I show up in my work.
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  SPEAKER_00: in all the actions that I take as an actor.
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  SPEAKER_00: I can show up, I can control how I show up in my self tapes.
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  SPEAKER_00: I can control how I engage in my career as an actor.
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  And this next little bit that I'm going to read to you,
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  I found with the letter.
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  And I think it was when I did a version of this on the podcast
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  years and years and years ago.
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  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm talking about the letter that I had written
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  SPEAKER_00: But it's still really good stuff, so I wanted to share it with you now.
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  SPEAKER_00: But I wanted to clarify that this is also probably younger Amy as well.
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  SPEAKER_00: So the takeaway here is that you get to decide what success means.
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  And I would encourage you to define success as the entirety of
• 9:59
  the journey of your
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: career rather than some destination.
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  SPEAKER_00: Co-star,
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  SPEAKER_00: guest star,
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  SPEAKER_00: series regular,
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  SPEAKER_00: three-picture deal,
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  SPEAKER_00: paying all your bills from acting work,
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  SPEAKER_00: Oscar,
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  SPEAKER_00: Emmy,
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  SPEAKER_00: EGOT,
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  SPEAKER_00: whatever.
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  Holding the journey as your marker of success is so liberating
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  and rewarding.
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  Please don't hold yourself apart from happiness,
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  fulfillment,
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  and achievement.
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  SPEAKER_00: You can have it now.
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  So that was something that Amy on the podcast was saying to the
• 10:30
  larger podcast
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  SPEAKER_00: audience at the time and also probably to her younger self.
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  SPEAKER_00: It was commenting on the letter when I did it on the podcast from before.
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  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, the idea here is just engaging in your career.
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  SPEAKER_00: All of it,
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  SPEAKER_00: the highs,
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  SPEAKER_00: the lows,
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  SPEAKER_00: the twists,
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  SPEAKER_00: the turns,
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  SPEAKER_00: staying at the table,
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: as I once heard Henry Winkler say,
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: that's the success.
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  SPEAKER_00: Success is a journey, not a destination.
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  SPEAKER_00: Means success is what you do,
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  SPEAKER_00: the journey,
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: you walking your path,
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  SPEAKER_00: you taking all of the actions that you take as an actor.
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  SPEAKER_00: Not where you end up.
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  SPEAKER_00: And this is definitely a mindset shift because,
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: oh boy,
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  do we have a lot of messaging that we receive from society that
• 11:29
  says basically the
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: exact opposite.
• 11:34
  But I think this is a really important mindset shift and it
• 11:38
  really can help with
• 11:39
  your overall happiness and your overall drive and your overall
• 11:44
  motivation and your
• 11:45
  overall inspiration for wanting to continue on in your career
• 11:48
  and keeping that
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: fire,
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: that ember,
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: that passion alive in you.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: And if you want help making this kind of mindset shift,
• 11:59
  redefining success for yourself so that you can feel great
• 12:03
  about yourself and great
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: about your acting career,
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: I can definitely help you with that.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: I would love to chat with you.
• 12:10
  I offer a complimentary session to anybody who wants to come in
• 12:14
  and talk with me
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: for about an hour.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: We'll connect and we'll see what's possible together.
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  SPEAKER_00: And I want you to know this is not a sales call.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: I am not at all a salesy type of person.
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  SPEAKER_00: My only intention with this time that we spend together is
• 12:30
  is that you leave feeling deeply seen and heard and then also
• 12:34
  that you pick up some
• 12:36
  new insights and ideas to consider and implement and I just
• 12:39
  hope that you leave
• 12:40
  feeling really inspired and uplifted and emboldened in yourself
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  and in your acting
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  SPEAKER_00: career and just feeling really good about yourself.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: And then after we've both let that experience kind of settle,
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: then maybe we end up coaching together and that would be fun and awesome.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe we just feel like,
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: hey,
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: that was a great time,
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: but our time together feels complete for now.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: And either way, it's a win-win because I love talking to actors.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: I love talking about actor mindset.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: I love talking about mindfulness.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: I love talking about all this stuff.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: So in no way, shape or form,
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: Would you be wasting my time?
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: If you were like,
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: I don't really know if I want to coach,
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: but I'd kind of love to talk about this kind of stuff.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: Let's do it.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk to each other because I think we could have a lot of fun.
• 13:26
  So go ahead and set up a free session for yourself and we'll
• 13:30
  have some fun.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: There are links all around for you to do that.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's going to be in the Substack post.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's going to be in the show notes of the podcast.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: I will find a way to have it in the video description on YouTube.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: You can always go to my website,
• 13:47
  thealignedactor.com and get set up there and we're going to
• 13:50
  have a lot of fun
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: together.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: So go ahead and do that.
• 13:54
  And then the other thing I wanted to let you know about is that
• 13:56
  if you are super
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: stressed,
• 13:58
  which I'm even feeling a little stressed right now because this
• 14:01
  is only the second
• 14:02
  time I've recorded on Substack Podcast YouTube the trifecta of
• 14:08
  content in this sort
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: of new way and new format that I'm doing.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm feeling a little keyed up and stressed in my body.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I should be using some of my...
• 14:19
  mindfulness life hacks right now so i'm actually going to try
• 14:23
  one right now for you
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: this is the long slow exhale so this is a breathing technique
• 14:40
  basically elongating your exhale helps to bring your heart rate
• 14:43
  back down,
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: and that actually really helped.
• 14:46
  So now I can tell you about the rest of this and where you can
• 14:49
  find more of these things.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I have an ebook,
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: it's called Accessing Calm,
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: and it's full of my super simple,
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: fun mindfulness life hacks,
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: tools,
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: tips,
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: tricks,
• 15:00
  the things that I use every day to calm down quickly when my
• 15:05
  stress is really,
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: really high,
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: when I feel really keyed up and anxious in my body.
• 15:10
  So these tools help me release stress from my body,
• 15:12
  as you just witnessed live right here.
• 15:15
  And they help keep my mind from spinning out of control with
• 15:19
  frustration and worry.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: And they help with everything from the teeny tiny small stuff of,
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: the morning rush and getting my kid off to school,
• 15:30
  all the way to the big scary stuff that we see on the news that
• 15:34
  we're just not
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: going to go there right now.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: But
• 15:38
  It can help with any time that you notice your body into that
• 15:42
  heightened stress response.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's a quick read.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: It includes video demonstrations of all the tools,
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: plus a number of bonus mindfulness meditations,
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: and the whole thing is just $7.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's it, seven bucks.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: So you can buy it on my website,
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: thealignedactor.com,
• 16:00
  and then click on the little link up in the corner that says
• 16:03
  Accessing Calm.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: There are links,
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: again,
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: in the Substack post,
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: the show notes,
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: the video description,
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: all the fun places.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: So you can go and pick it up for yourself.
• 16:13
  And then the last thing I wanted to let you know about is I
• 16:15
  have some upcoming workshops.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: I have one in October and I have one in November.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, October and November.
• 16:25
  I'm hosting some workshops for members of the SAG-AFTRA Los
• 16:30
  Angeles Conservatory.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: And the workshop is entitled Mindfulness 101,
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: Empower Your Craft and Your Career with Your Presence.
• 16:38
  So you can come learn about mindfulness and the many advantages
• 16:41
  it offers performers.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: You can experience a guided mindfulness meditation.
• 16:46
  explore the benefits of developing a daily mindfulness practice
• 16:50
  and learn some
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: quick centering tools to use in auditions and on set.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's the little blurb that I wrote for the calendar.
• 16:58
  Now,
• 16:59
  the catch here is that you do have to be a member of the
• 17:02
  SAG-AFTRA LA Conservatory.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: So there's two levels here.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: You have to be obviously a member of the union SAG-AFTRA in general,
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: a regular union member there.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: And then you also have to join the Los Angeles Conservatory,
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: which is,
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's $45 for a full year of classes,
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: workshops,
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: all kinds of stuff that you can,
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: all kinds of like career and career
• 17:32
  uh craft development basically that you can get as an actor
• 17:36
  there's tons of great
• 17:37
  classes it's 45 bucks for the year i really would encourage you
• 17:41
  to go and sign up
• 17:42
  for that because then you can come and take my workshops which
• 17:45
  would be a lot of
• 17:46
  fun i am planning to offer these workshops at some point to the
• 17:50
  more general public
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: But I don't know when that's going to be yet.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: So for now,
• 17:55
  I know that you can come and find me at the Los Angeles
• 17:59
  SAG-AFTRA Conservatory in
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: October and in November.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: You can check the calendar for exact details.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: I will have links to that site,
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: the calendar site,
• 18:12
  the LA SAG Conservatory's calendar and their just general
• 18:15
  website so you can sign
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: up for that if you want to.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'll put links where you would expect to find the links.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: Great.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for joining me today.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm always delighted to be here with you and have you join me.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: This was a blast as always.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you for being here and I will see you next time.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: Bye.