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What to expect when a narcissist loses control · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on beautiful people?
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  Welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  I'm your favorite self aware narcissist, Mr. Lee Hammett
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  better known and mental illness across all social media
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  platforms. This is the first time to see my
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  face and hear my voice. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist. I use my platform with social
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  media to raise awareness for NPD, get more people into
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  therapy and also validate the victims, survivors and thrivers
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  of said disorder. Said toxic people said toxic
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  traits. Today's episode is going to be
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  about how what to expect when a narcissist loses control of you,
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  of the situation, of the lifestyle that y'all have going
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  on, of the dynamic that you have going on with this person.
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  When I say what, when I say lose control and whatnot, I mean it
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  could be your parent, could be a partner.
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  Like the relationship dynamic. Really, it's important, but it
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  really doesn't matter sometimes. Like I said, it doesn't have to
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  be an intimate relationship partner.
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  It could be your parent, your sibling, your brother, sister,
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  whoever it is. You know what I mean?
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  So before we go dive in today's episode, y'all make sure y'all
• 1:05
  check out the self love journal that's on Amazon.
• 1:08
  Lee Hammock. I love me a self love journal.
• 1:11
  They help you rebuild their self love and authenticity before or
• 1:14
  after, you know, eight times relationship.
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  But yeah, yes, yes, yes, Yep, Yep, Yep.
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  What do we expect when the narcissists losing control?
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  Y'all, what do you. So I know a lot of people expect
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  narcissists to lose their mind when they lose control, which is
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  absolutely true. That happens a lot of the time
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  right there. Y'all where the narcissistic
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  person, tax person, whoever, who absolutely lose their damn minds
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  where if they lose control over you, like if you break up with
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  them or you, they discard them. I mean, they discard like you
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  discard them or whatever. You break up with them.
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  You go no contact, whatever the dynamic is, whatever causes them
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  to lose control, Yeah, some of them will absolutely lose their
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  damn minds. Like, and I say lose their
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  minds. I mean, it becomes super
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  obsessive, become super scary. Pop up at your house.
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  Pop up at your job. Pop up like wherever it is that
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  they'll pop up wherever they feel like they need to.
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  Pop up to make you feel a certain type of way to make you
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  feel uncomfortable, to take, to take advantage of you or
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  whatever. To make.
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  To beat you down and exhaust you, to make you feel like, hey,
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  you know what? It'll be easier.
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  Things will be easier for you. If you come back to me, things
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  will be easier for you. If you give me my control back,
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  things will be easier for you. If you let me have that control
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  back over your life or whatever the control is, you see what I'm
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  saying? Things will be absolutely easier
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  for you. They just do that.
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  Y'all they they that narcissists won't control.
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  Y'all. A lot of them do.
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  A lot of narcissists won't control over the situation when
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  I'm in a situation over whatever.
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  Like the the life that you live, they won't control over it.
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  The freedom that you have, they won't control over it.
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  So once they lose control, come on now, y'all, yes, some of them
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  absolutely are going to lose their mind because some of them
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  only live to control you, to control whatever situation it is
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  with you, you know. So some of them are absolutely
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  going to lose their mind. So you have to be careful.
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  You have to protect yourself because a lot of times,
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  especially if it's an intimate relationship and you break up
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  with them and you go no contact and they have no way of
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  contacting you. Like y'all don't have kids.
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  Like you know there is no reason for them to be contacting you.
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  That right there is a that right there is a very unique
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  situation. But like you don't have kids or
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  anything that ties you to them only I guess love and affection
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  or care or whatever they they're the narcissist.
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  First thought is that you're going to move on from there is
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  that you're moving on to someone else.
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  So some of them cannot deal with that thought right there.
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  Will they change their behaviors?
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  Sometimes they'll change their behaviors for a little while,
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  yeah, they'll change it for a little while just to suck you
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  back into a relationship. But permanence?
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  Any longterm change, any longterm, whatever.
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  No, they're not going to do that.
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  Y'all. They don't want to do that.
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  They want control over you. They want to get their control
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  back. They want you.
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  They want to control the situation.
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  They want to control the dynamic.
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  They want to control you. So yeah, some of them will
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  become super obsessive because they cannot stand the thought of
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  you being with someone else, of you replacing them, of them
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  relinquishing their ownership. Because I told you before, a lot
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  of narcissists think that you belong to them.
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  A lot of toxic, narcissistic people think that you, that you
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  are mine, like you come, come here, you belong to me.
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  You don't have any type of freedom here in this
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  relationship space unless I say so.
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  And they really, absolutely believe that.
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  So yeah, they become a super obsessive.
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  They become super like like controller.
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  They'll like I said, they'll pop up on you.
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  They'll hack, they'll try to hack your social media stuff.
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  They'll try to hack your bank account stuff.
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  Y'all they'll turn. If Y'all have joint phone lines,
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  they'll turn your that damn phone off.
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  They were like when they lose control, some of them will
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  absolutely. When they lose control of you,
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  they will lose control of their debt of their minds.
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  You know, it's scary season. The most dangerous time in a
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  toxic relationship for a lot of people is when you try to leave.
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  It is when you try to just okay. I'm done with this relationship
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  time me the exit, exit stage left.
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  When you try to leave it, that's when they get that.
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  That's a lot of times when they latch on to you.
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  That's a lot of times they try to come into your life and try
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  to ruin your damn life. You see what I'm saying?
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  That's the most dangerous time. They're trying to leave it like
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  this again is it happens a lot of time in in intimate
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  relationships when it's your spouse or your partner.
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  But your parents will do this to y'all.
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  You have narcissistic, toxic parents.
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  They narcissistic, toxic parents feel like you owe them.
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  They feel like you owe them a goddamn life debt.
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  Your life belongs to me. You're only here because of me,
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  right? So they'll they'll stalk you
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  too. They'll start a smear campaign.
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  They'll try to ruin your life. Your partners will try to ruin
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  your life too. Your parents, when they feel
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  like they lost control, and especially if they have
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  grandkids that they don't see any.
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  Oh my goodness. Like you.
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  You've taken the grandkids away from them too.
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  Oh my goodness. Yeah, they're going to try to
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  ruin your life too. Some of them will press charges
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  on you. Some of them, some of them will
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  lie on again on social media a lot.
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  You know, narcissistic people, when they lose control.
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  Just be careful. Like I said, the relationship
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  dynamic is important a lot of times, but especially especially
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  especially if they feel like if they like they're going, you're
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  going to lead them, you know? Yeah, some of them will become a
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  super obsessive. Another thing that happens in
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  these relationships where the narcissists feel like they're
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  losing control if they they will ghost and leave you alone.
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  Yeah, the discard from a narcissist happens a lot of
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  times because they feel like they've lost control over you.
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  Because they feel like you. There is no more.
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  The dynamic has changed enough, has switched up enough that they
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  have no more power over you. So a lot of narcissist want
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  control and they feel like if they can't exert that control
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  over you, if they feel like they've lost that control, some
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  of them will ghost you, some of them will leave you alone for
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  good. Once some of them, y'all, y'all,
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  hear what I say. Some of them become extremely
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  obsessive when they lose control.
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  And some of them will disappear on you when they feel like they
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  lost control over you. If y'all have a family and kids
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  and bills and stuff like that, they'll go all of that.
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  They'll go all of that. If you're too strong, if they
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  feel like you're too strong for them to to control or whatever,
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  they will go. They'll try to.
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  Some of them try to ruin your life.
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  It didn't ghost you. Some of them will disappear on
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  you. Some of them will absolutely
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  leave you alone. That's what I tell people.
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  When you take that control of your life, that's a lot of times
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  when narcissists will leave you alone.
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  You know, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes when the nurses will
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  leave you alone, sometimes y'all they get into their minds that
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  they want to cause you pain and turmoil.
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  Turmoil because they feel like that's what you've done to them.
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  They feel like you've caused me pain and turmoil.
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  So I need to do the same thing to you.
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  I need to pay back this turmoil debt.
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  I I owe this to you. So you're going to fill it.
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  You know what? You're going to fill this debt
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  because I owe this to you, you know?
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  So yeah, some of them are going to ghost you and leave you be
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  because they lost control over the situation, you know?
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  So take it either way out. Either way, regardless what the
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  narcissistic person decides to do, when they lose control, you
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  have to protect yourself and protect your peace.
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  Be prepared for them to leave you alone.
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  Don't like, don't expect it. Don't expect them to leave you
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  alone. But be prepared just in case
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  they decide to leave you alone. Like, just in case.
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  This is it right here. The just in case, you know, be
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  prepared for all possibilities, you know, Because sometimes when
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  they lose, but sometimes when they lose control, yeah, they
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  become obsessive. They try to ruin your life.
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  They try to make it. They make it.
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  When I lose control, like this is the mindset of a narcissist.
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  When I lose control, I don't want anybody else to control
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  you. So I'm going to make you feel
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  like nobody. I'm going to make your life a
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  live in hell because you made mine one.
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  Because you've internally made my life a live in hell.
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  I'm going to make yours one. Because some of them will
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  absolutely become obsessive and try to ruin your damn life and
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  try to get you back. At the same time, this smear
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  campaign and the obsessive nature of a lot of narcissistic
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  people, once they lose control, it's out of this goddamn world.
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  Y'all it is otherworldly when they do this, you know?
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  And a lot of people can attest to this and y'all understand it
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  to y'all like, well, damn you. You are right that a lot of this
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  happens a lot, because it does. It's absolutely one of those
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  things that happens so much in these spaces that they will try
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  to ruin your life. When they try to lose control,
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  they try to make you make you feel like, hey, nobody else is
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  going to want to try to be in control of you because of this
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  right here. So protect your piece out of the
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  way. Y'all.
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  Regardless of what they decide to do, you have the be prepared
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  to pivot because sometimes they'll do a combination of all
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  the things. They will become extremely
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  obsessive, try to ruin your life and then go shoot and sometimes
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  they'll come back. You see what I'm saying?
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  They they they go through cycles as well.
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  They might become extremely obsessive, try to pop up on you
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  and exhaust you and scare you into just taking them back.
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  Or they'll try to ruin your whole goddamn life by starting a
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  huge smear campaign make trying to make trying to ruin your
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  life, trying to end your life, trying to take your life.
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  Sometimes and sometimes they will ghost you.
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  The cycle will continue on and on and on.
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  Y'all. You just have to be very weary,
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  weary, be very careful of because they going to keep doing
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  it. Yeah, they they want their needs
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  met. And what a narcissist needs is
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  the need to control whoever, whoever they are with, whoever
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  they birth. The need to control is high, so
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  you have to take your power back in these situations.
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  Just be as strong as you possibly can because they're
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  going to try to. A lot of them will try to ruin
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  your damn life. Y'all just keeping it real.
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  Just keeping it real. Just keeping it hide and ready
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  like a Little Caesars piece of y'all.
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  So you have to be careful and be prepared regardless of what they
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  try to do when they lose, when they lose control, you want them
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  to. You want to take back control,
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  but do it in a way that protects yourself.
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  Y'all, protect your peace, protect yourself y'all and make
• 11:01
  sure y'all like and subscribe for more.
• 11:02
  And of course, y'all, always until this is out peace, thanks
• 11:06
  for making it to the end of my video.
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• 11:09
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• 11:14
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