Latest / Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive / November 13, 2018 | Expresso - Jan Durbin

Transcript

November 13, 2018 | Expresso - Jan Durbin · Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hi ladies.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to start right off with apologizing if I have to take a sip every few minutes because I have kind of a croaky voice.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: So anyway, kind of like Carly, I was relieved I'd never been asked because I thought, well, I have a really interesting story.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's not a very dramatic story, but I'm thankful for that.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: That's a good thing.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: So anyway, even though I don't have a really dynamic, dramatic story, I've still learned some lessons along the way, and I'll share some of that.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: Starting at the beginning, I was born in Newton, Kansas, where both my parents grew up, so I have a lot of extended family there.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: Because my dad was in the heavy construction business, building highways and bridges, we moved around in the state quite a bit until I started school, and then I primarily lived in Topeka.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: I have one brother who's two years older, and he lives here too.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: When I was about 10 years old, my parents divorced.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't as traumatic for me as it is for a lot of kids because I was used to my dad being gone during the week working.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: And even though we got along fine, we weren't extremely close.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: He certainly wasn't abusive, but he was of that generation of men that did not show a lot of affection verbally or physically.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Another reason I wasn't as negatively affected was that my mom never badmouthed him or talked about the circumstances of the divorce, not wanting to damage my relationship with him.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: He was having an affair, and I probably should have figured that out since he remarried soon after their divorce.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: But I was really naive and just didn't get it.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: It was many years later before I really understood what had happened, which gave me a real appreciation and admiration for my mom and how she handled the divorce, focusing on her kids' happiness more than her own pain.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't have a lot of negative feelings towards him because seven years later, after he was again divorced, he came back into my mom's life and they reconciled and remarried, which I was very happy about.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: This happened uh right about the time I graduated from high school.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: They had a wonderful marriage the second time because they learned from their mistakes and my mom was able to forgive him.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: The only sad thing about it was that he passed away five years later of cancer at the age of 46.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: But at least they had that time together, and I was very thankful for that.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: I made some poor choices when I was a teenager, which I regret.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: I never even thought about uh whether God would approve.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm very thankful that he was protecting me from some bad consequences during that time.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: He was patiently waiting for me to turn to him, and I'm so thankful that he has forgiven me for those sins.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: I love what Psalm 103, verses 8 to 13 says.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in loving kindness.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: I should probably just hold this right here.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: I have those, but I'm afraid I might suck a lodge down my throat while I'm talking.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: Bob and I met at Topeka West High School in history class, and we dated our junior and senior years.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: Uh then we both went to Kansas State.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Let's see, that's a K-State uh yearbook picture, where he played basketball for the K-State team his freshman year, and I was on the K-State Pride Ed's drill team, which was a precursor to the classy cats of today.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: But we were nothing like the classy cats.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: Uh we wore little short purple jumpers with uh long-sleeved turtlenecks and knee-high go-go boots.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: So the only skin we had showing was our thighs.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, Bob and I continued dating our freshman year, got engaged our sophomore year, and then got married at the beginning of our junior year in 1972.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: I know that seems awfully young, but we weren't exactly rushing into it, and we'd been married for 46 years.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: After graduation, we moved to Kansas City for him to go to dental school for four more years, and I worked while he went to school.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: Our first son, Derek, was born during Bob's senior year of dental school, and then we decided to move back to Topeka after graduation for Bob to practice here, and then two years later, our son Brett was born.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: We both were raised going to church, but we quit going when we left Topeka for college and dental school.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: It was not a priority at all at that point.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: We were just having fun.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: We started attending the church Bob grew up in when we came back to Topeka, thinking we should do that now that we were raising children.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: I believed in God and Jesus, but I had never really made faith or spiritual growth a priority in my life.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: In 1981, well, and I will say too, my parents uh, even though they took me to church, never talked about faith.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: That just wasn't something that was ever discussed at home.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: So I hadn't grown very much.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: In 1981, God moved us to a neighborhood in Topeka where he used some wonderful, godly women to influence my life in a big way.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: Many of you know and love Diane Gordy from TBC.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: She was a neighbor there and invited me to a ladies' uh neighborhood Bible study.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: I had never really studied the Bible and said yes, but one of my biggest reasons for going was to meet the neighbor ladies, many of whom you probably know through TBC.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: They were all so nice and welcoming that I knew I wanted to know them better, and most of them have remained long lifelong friends.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: One of my first Bible studies there was from a series called Friendship Bible Coffees from Stonecroft Ministries.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: And if you know Rita Pettard or Deanna Rattybush, you've probably heard of Stonecroft or Christian Women's Club.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's now called the Women's Connection.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: These were the perfect Bible studies for me as they started with the basics, like explaining the gospel, what salvation was, how to pray.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Even though I grew up in the church, I had never had it presented so clearly to me, or maybe I just wasn't really ready to hear it yet.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: God opened my eyes and my heart and gave me a real hunger for learning his word.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: It was the first time that I really understood that I needed to receive Jesus as my Savior, admit that I was a sinner, and that he suffered and died on the cross for me for the given forgiveness of my sins so I could have eternal life with him.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I truly received Jesus as my Lord and Savior in 1981, not knowing at that point yet that he was in control, orchestrating everything in my life to draw me to him.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: I also learned that I needed to develop a personal relationship with him through prayer and studying his word.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: That was 37 years ago, and I'm still on that quest of learning and growing spiritually with the help of his Holy Spirit.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: Sanctification is a lifelong process, as we all know.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: I love what Billy Graham's wife, Ruth Bell Graham, had engraved on her tombstone.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: End of construction.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for your patience.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: The more Bob and I grew spiritually, we felt led to change churches to one that seemed more spiritually alive to us.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: We attended there for many years until we came to TBC about 16 years ago, and we can't imagine a better church anywhere.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm gonna back up to the earlier years of raising our sons.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: There's can you believe it?
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: The glasses of the 80s are back.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: We had our challenging moments with both our boys, but our youngest Brett struggled with behavior problems from elementary school through high school.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: But it wasn't until he transferred from a private Christian school to a public school in the sixth grade that he was diagnosed with ADHD.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: He became pretty rebellious in high school and got in with a party crowd that was drinking and doing drugs.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Neither boys resisted going to church, and both were believers, even though they may not have always walked the walk, just like a lot of us.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: When Brett would be convicted of sin, he would actually go on his own to talk to our pastor or to his youth pastor about it.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: Some of this we just learned in recent years.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's amazing how God can answer our prayers way beyond anything we ever imagined.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: After a miraculous turning point in Brett's life in college, he ended up going to seminary, becoming a pastor, and eventually founding Trash Mountain Project.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: I know lots of people who raise their kids in Christian homes.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: Some even sent them to Christian schools, but now as adults, they have turned away from the Lord.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: There is no greater pain for a Christian parent, but keep praying and claiming Proverbs 22:6.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not turn from it.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: We want it to happen sooner than later, but that is God's choice, so never give up praying for them.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: As Ruth Belgraham's tombstone said, we are under construction till we die, so be patient with those wayward children.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: Both our boys married wonderful, godly women who are the daughters we never had.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: They all live in Topeka, which is a huge blessing, and we now have ten grandchildren.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: Derek and Jenny have three uh girls and one boy, ages six to thirteen, and Brett and JL have three girls and three boys, ages three months to twelve.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: She wasn't born when we had that picture taken last year, so she got her own picture.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: Bob retired from dentistry last December, and our son Derek, who is also a dentist, has taken over the practice.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: So now we have entered a new stage of life, and it will be exciting to see what God has in store for us.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: So far, I'm just as busy as ever.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: Besides keeping up with the grandchildren, I spent a lot of time with the Cab Care Closet here at TBC.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: About 11 years ago, I was really seeking the Lord's direction for how I was to serve him.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: I had always had a heart for the poor, but wasn't really feeling like I was doing enough.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: I was taking a Bethmore Bible study on Daniel here at TBC, and was convicted by a statement she made: don't lose touch with the poor, being content in my prosperity, like King Nebuchadnezzar.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of just feeling sorry for the poor or thinking monetary donations were enough, I felt like God was telling me to leave my comfort zone and become more active and involved.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because TBC had the College Avenue building with lots of space and we were centrally located here in Topeka, I felt like it would be the perfect fit for a community clothing bank.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: Some of the others in town were not open on Saturdays, so we would be filling a need for those people who could not go on weekdays since uh we just give our clothes away on the first Saturday of the month.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: And just a plug, if anyone would like to volunteer to help with that.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: We can always use more volunteers, and it's just a 90-minute shift once a month.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: Uh lots of let's see, lots of wonderful people with servants' hearts have volunteered for this ministry, and some are still faithfully serving over 10 years that started serving 10 years ago.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: There are so many great ministries at TBC and throughout Topeka.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: So if you want to serve but you don't quite know what in what way, besides earnestly praying about it, just start trying things till you find the right fit.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: And uh if you are, especially if you're feeling like it's just not obvious to you where God wants you to serve, I think He'll make you feel comfortable in the area that He wants you in.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: And don't beat yourself up if you can't figure out how to fit it in your life right now.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: There are different seasons in our lives, like when we are young moms and our primary ministry is to our family, or those women who have to work full-time and barely have time for their families, let alone extra activities.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: I have been very blessed to be to not have to work, and so I've had more time to serve.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: I would like to close with a poem by Beth Moore that had an impact on me.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: I thought it was very convicting.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: Babble on in Babylon.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: Brimming closets, shoe rack spulge, one in every color.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'll just indulge, my wildest whim will oft be met.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: Bigger, faster, give me get.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: Travel on in Babylon.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: May I go first?
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: No you'd not care, for my time's precious, you've lots to spare.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'll slip in front and off I'll go.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: See I'm quite fast and well you're quite slow.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: I and me, fast friends lifelong.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: Prattle on in Babylon.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: Nip it here, just there, a lift I just turned forty.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: It was a gift.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: The eyes, the lips, the bosom's new, sculpted, lasered injected two, no wrinkles left, the tummy's gone.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: Journey on in Babylon.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: Enough of me, how do you view me?
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: Do get one, but give me three.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't bear to just say no, it's my desire and rightly so.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: Add another and on and on.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: Shuffle on in Babylon.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: No end in sight that I can see, today's blocked by the mirror in front of me.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: A wreck, a death, tsunami tide, it mildly stirs me, I must confide.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: TV claims tens of thousands gone.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: Oh well, let's see what else is on.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: Numb to the stunning sight of each new dawn.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: Sinking fast in Babylon.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like a lobster in a pot who begins to like the water hot, I've been duped, been tricked, been had, convinced that truth was somehow bad.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: Evil coddled and cooed and purred, and beckoned me and called and lured.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: And now in a place with the light turned on, I'm racing home from Babylon.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm racing home from Babylon.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: If you like a copy of that poem, there'll be a stack of them back on the food table.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks.