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Why Do Narcissists Just Refuse To Apologize? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  So why do narcissists refuse to apologize?
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  Like even when they've know they've done something wrong,
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  even when they're caught red handed, even when they're caught
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  blue handed, green handed whatever handed did they get
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  caught in, right? Why do they just refuse to say
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  I'm sorry, take accountability and just work through things?
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  Why is that why why, why, why? That's what we're talking about
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  today, y'all. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist here to give you the perspective of a narcissist and
• 0:30
  welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Go.
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  Let's get it. I hate when I bumble my words,
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  but I told y'all it's just like clean cut.
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  Other than inserting this like the, the, the intro music, the
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  theme or whatever is going to be a clean cut.
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  You can get my raw unfiltered thoughts and whatnot, y'all.
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  But yeah, why do narcissists refuse to apologize?
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  Like what the hell is so difficult about literally open
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  opening our mouths and saying I'm sorry and changing behavior.
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  What the hell is so difficult about that?
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  Now I already know what most people are going to say.
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  Let me stop you right there, Lee.
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  What are we going to say then? You don't know everything, you
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  narcissist. You think, you know, Look, I
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  already know what people want to say and it's the Super, it's the
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  it's the quickest way, right? It's the quickest answer.
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  The thing that pops up on top on top of your head.
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  Go ahead and put what you think right now, what I'm about to
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  say, what I think you're going to say ready, OK, You're
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  probably going to say Lee, because they never think they're
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  wrong, because they don't think they would, because they don't
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  think they do anything wrong. That's what you're going to say,
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  right? How right was I, you know, be
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  but they went like this. If they didn't think that they
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  wouldn't, they didn't do anything wrong.
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  Why would they? Why are they arguing and fussing
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  and fighting? Why they're not proud of it,
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  Right. Some of them will be proud.
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  Why? They're not just super proud of
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  it. Why they blaming you?
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  You see what I'm saying? They know that they've done
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  something wrong. So that's.
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  Yeah, So. So could that be true what you
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  just said? Yeah.
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  They don't think they've done anything wrong.
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  Yeah. Some of them absolutely believe
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  in their heart of hearts in their 17 chamber hearts like a
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  bat, right? Like octopus.
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  I think octopus have like the different chambers of hearts,
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  right? They might actually believe that
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  they they haven't wronged you or done anything wrong to you.
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  But most narcissistic people that refuse to apologize
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  absolutely know they've done something wrong.
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  Yeah, let's be real. Let's keep it hot.
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  The main one of the main reasons that they refuse to apologize
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  because they don't want you to be right.
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  They don't want you to be right. So yes, some of them can
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  absolutely tell you straight up like, hey, look, I don't think
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  I've done anything wrong. They can sit on there right, but
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  another another thing that they would do right.
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  If they don't, they don't want you to be right.
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  They don't want you to be right. They don't want to get you to.
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  They don't want to give you the pleasure or the satisfaction of
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  being right of one upping them or making them feel less there.
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  Because crazy as it sounds, when I'm wrong, I feel ashamed.
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  When I'm wrong, I feel ashamed. When I'm wrong, I feel like you.
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  All the power is in your hands now.
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  When I'm wrong and you're right, I feel like you're smarter than
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  me. I'm not as smart as I think I
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  am. When I'm wrong and I'm you're
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  right. I feel like I'm just, I'm just
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  feel like I'm just, I'm dumb. I just do so I don't want you to
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  be right. I might know that I'm wrong, but
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  I don't want you to feel like you're right.
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  Even if you know you're right, even you know I'm wrong.
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  Like again, red handed, blue handed, green handed, Gray
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  handed with however you caught me, I still don't want you to
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  think that you're right. And it can be as simple as that
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  sometimes. I just do not want you to feel
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  like you are right. So I'm going to act a monkey.
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  I'm going to act up. I'm going to, you know, I'm
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  going to obfuscate. I'm going to just make every,
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  I'm going to make everything go crazy.
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  I'm going to make people go crazy when people lose their
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  minds. I'm going to do a lot of
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  different things right because I don't want you to be right.
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  I night I might absolutely know that I'm wrong, but I don't want
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  you to feel like you are right. Think about it.
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  I know it sounds ridiculous. I know it sounds stupid to a lot
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  of people, but this is how some narcissist minds work.
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  Let's be real. They just absolutely do not want
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  you to be right about anything. They don't want you to feel
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  right. So they keep doing what they're
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  doing. They keep acting the way that
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  they're acting. They keep behaving in the way
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  that they're behaving because of this, because of it, right?
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  You know, and this is the mind of a narcissist.
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  Like, I just tell y'all, like sometimes they just don't want
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  to be wrong. Seriously, they don't want to
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  be. They don't want you to be right.
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  But again, I'll say another reason why they refuse to
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  apologize, it's because they don't want to feel I, I just
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  kind of touched on it just now, but they don't want to feel
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  stupid. They don't want to feel less
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  than we don't want. Like it's going to sound
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  ridiculous, but it might, it might sound ridiculous to a lot
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  of people. It might not sound ridiculous,
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  right? But like it's going to sound
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  this way. I close my eyes when I'm getting
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  kind of putting on my narcissist's hat, right?
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  I don't apologize because if I apologize to you, it actually
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  hurts my feelings. It actually changes the internal
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  Physiology of my entire body, changes my inner workers.
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  I have physical, yeah, I have physical reactions to being
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  wrong. Like I have physical reactions
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  to apologize. And they even now, if I were to
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  say I'm sorry, I just don't want to do it because because it
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  makes I have a physical reaction to it, right?
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  I have a physical reaction. I don't want it.
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  It pains me to apologize even now to this day, even after
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  almost eight years of therapy, it pains me to apologize.
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  But because I've been doing so much work, I apologize.
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  I change behaviors, I take accountability for the stuff
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  that I've done wrong. I do that right now to anybody
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  in my life, not just to my, the people who know me right now,
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  the anybody from my past that I encounter, that I've grown.
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  If I encounter you in a, in a general space, yeah, I will talk
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  to you. We will talk about the past and
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  what, what things I've done wrong with things I could have
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  done better. And I just promise you that I
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  won't do that type of stuff again because I'm working on me,
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  right? Because I'm working on myself.
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  So this is something you have to consider as well when you're
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  dealing with a manipulative abusive person like they it, it
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  physically pains them. Y'all could probably see it too.
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  You probably you if you're trying to get a narcissist to
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  say I'm sorry, you could probably see their you could
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  probably see their body chemistry change.
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  You could probably see the anger boiling up and you probably see
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  sometimes they might be be getting ready to cry, right?
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  They get all defensive and stuff.
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  You know, it's crazy, it's crazy, it's going to be scary.
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  It could be scary as hell too if you're dealing with it, but it's
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  like it's sometimes this is how it goes.
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  It realistically goes like this, like some narcissistic people
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  are going to be abusive, manipulative people.
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  They just are they and they won't, they will not stop it
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  because they feel like they're entitled to doing this type of
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  stuff. They feel like the entitlement
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  and and then within themselves is going to be crazy.
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  You know, it's going to go crazy.
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  It's going to make them feel it's going to make them feel a
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  certain type of way about themselves and whatnot.
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  And this is the space that so many people are going into,
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  right? So I will say that to say this
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  y'all, you have to stay empowered because they're not
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  going to apologize to you. Like in, in part of my new
• 7:40
  course, my new course is called finding your why healing from
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  narcissistic abuse. You can find that on my the link
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  is in the bio. The link is in my in the comment
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  section, but it's mental illness.net.
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  You can find my courses there or courses.courses.mentalillness.net.
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  And you can enter the code Y 25. WHY 25 for $25 off?
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  It's not, it's not, yeah, it's not a super expensive course in
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  the 1st place, but like, but part of healing is being OK with
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  them not apologizing. They're seriously part of my
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  healing, part of the healing process that I came up with.
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  You have to be OK with them not apologizing.
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  That's part of that's part of the process.
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  That's part of the understanding what you're going through,
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  understanding what's going on, right?
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  It really, truly is. So that's something that you
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  have to consider next as you're moving forward, right?
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  So think about that as you continue to push forward.
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  Because the last reason I'm going to talk about today, the
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  narcissist refused to apologize. It's because of the ego, that 3
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  letter word, the ego is insane. The ego, which I feel like a
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  narcissist ego is a completely different part.
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  I'm going to do a whole video on it.
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  I'm I just inspired another video, right?
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  And I inspired myself doing another video.
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  Ego being a different part, like the narcissist ego is so big and
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  it's I think my ego is a separate entity.
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  Well, Lee, I know, I know my religious folks.
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  Got you, Lee got you. Got your ass.
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  Got your ass. Lee, We got you.
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  We got you. We got him.
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  Y'all arrest him right now. We got him.
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  He's a demon. That ego is a demon, Lee.
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  That's the demonic spirit. That's the devil right there.
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  It's not an ego. It's it's not ego.
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  It's Satan. Is both of them have two
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  syllables, but it's two totally different things.
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  It's not your ego. It's the devil.
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  It's Satan. Loser for you.
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  Me. But no, I know y'all.
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  I know. I know you'll be waiting.
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  But I know you'll be waiting. But no, the ego is like a
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  separate entity, the ego that damn new controls the
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  narcissist, like the little robot from you'll see the movie
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  Men in Black. When the little robot was
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  controlled on the man in his head, he had like the little
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  earth. He's like the the Earth is on
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  the galaxy's collar, collar or whatever.
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  And the cat's name was Galaxy or whatever, Orion's belt.
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  The the galaxy's Orion's belt. The cat's name was Orion, the
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  little alias. But yeah, that's how it is.
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  Like it's like the ego is an entirely different entity that
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  activates a narcissist. So even in my all my
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  self-awareness right now, y'all, even as self aware as I am right
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  now, my ego will absolutely not let me apologize sometimes.
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  And that's just me being real. My ego, like I want to apologize
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  and my ego will just be like, no, you're not wrong.
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  That's literally how my ego operates.
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  My ego will tell me that I'm not wrong.
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  He's like, no, you're not apologizing.
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  We are not apologizing. It's like a separate entity.
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  It's like we are not apologizing.
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  Do not say I'm sorry. So even if I am sorry, my ego
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  will literally shut me down and not let me apologize.
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  Even if I want to, even if I know I'm wrong and my life will
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  be easier, if I apologize, my ego will not let me do it.
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  My ego will not let me do it. My ego will absolutely not let
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  me apologize. Even when, if and when I know
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  I've done wrong. And I know that sounds
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  backwards, but it's literally the literally the mindset.
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  My ego gets activated and it will not let me apologize.
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  No matter what I've done, no matter what I've said, no matter
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  what I've done, my ego takes over.
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  For a narcissist's ego, sometimes, even if they know
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  they're wrong, it will just not apologize.
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  They, the ego will make the narcissist rage out on you.
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  It'll make them scream and yell at you.
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  It will make them put their hands on you.
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  It will make them do a all kinds of bad stuff.
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  And this is not me trying to excuse their behavior.
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  So, so Lee, it's not really damaged the ego.
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  I said that, but I didn't say it could be an excuse for them
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  being abusive. Hell, now it is not an excuse
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  for abuse that rhymed on it. Excuse for abuse is not an
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  excuse for abuse. So I hope that makes sense,
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  y'all. Anyway, y'all keep this thing
• 11:57
  short. Again, my course Finding Your
• 11:59
  Why is now available at courses.mentalillness.net.
• 12:04
  And also I said we'll be in St. Louis, MO this weekend on April
• 12:08
  the 5th. mentalillness.net/events.
• 12:11
  Come get your questions answered live and in person.
• 12:13
  Get that energy, that environment and we will see.
• 12:16
  Y'all there, everything available, y'all Mental
• 12:18
  illness.net, my website, my one-on-one is my coaching.
• 12:20
  Everything is available there. I'm out.
• 12:22
  Peace. Before you go, make sure that
• 12:24
  you hit that subscribe button if you haven't already.
• 12:26
  Y'all you already here just hit the button.
• 12:29
  Also you can find my coaching, my courses, my one on ones,
• 12:31
  everything is available at my website, mentalillness.net, kids
• 12:35
  book, self love journal. Also check out joining the
• 12:38
  channel memberships as well. Y'all thank you so much for
• 12:40
  being here. I'm super grateful I'm out.
• 12:42
  Peace.