Latest / MyMaine Birth / 75. A Beautiful Maine Home Birth turned 10 Day unnecessary NICU stay, Hayley's story

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75. A Beautiful Maine Home Birth turned 10 Day unnecessary NICU stay, Hayley's story · MyMaine Birth

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: It was like it was just so great because it felt like a like we were doing it together.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: You know it wasn't just me and he's, you know, sitting next to me Good job, like he was really working with me.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: It was.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: It was very funny and really sweet and it made that moment.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: You know, the umbilical cord was long enough where we could pull Javi up onto my chest after, and so it was so it was like this beautiful love sandwich.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: I had Michael on the back of me and Javi on the front and it was the absolute best.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: And the um midwife who came with Ariel to um focus on Javi, was able to snap some pictures on my phone, which I'm so happy.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: You don't realize how much you'll treasure those things until I look at them almost every month.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: I mean, I really do Just going back and reliving it because it's just, it makes me teary eyed even thinking about it.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: Such a special moment.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: But yeah, it was incredible.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: I'm Angela and you're listening to my Maine Birth, a space where we share the real-life stories of families and their unique birth experiences in the beautiful state of Maine.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: From our state's biggest hospitals to birth center births and home births, every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: Today's birth story guest is Haley, and she's here to share all about her main home birth story, with care from Soccer River Midwifery.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: Hi, Haley, welcome to my Main Birth.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: Hi, how are you?
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: I'm good.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: How are you?
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: I'm doing pretty well, Awesome.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: Well, to jump right into it, will you start by sharing a little bit about you and your family?
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: Sure, my husband and I moved here, moved to Saco from Boise, idaho, when I got into the dental school program at UNE program.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: At UNE we have two dogs and our little baby, Javier.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: My family is originally from Vermont, so we do have a little bit of family on this coast, but yeah, it's just our little family.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I love it.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: So now tell me about when you first found out you were pregnant and your thoughts in choosing your care.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: Sure, we it was actually pretty funny we we had been trying and simultaneously waiting to hear back from dental schools and I had gotten kind of impatient with dental school and and so we had decided to start trying and and then I got into dental school and it was like it was just this big celebration and I remember we we had gone and gotten some coffee and we were just walking and talking and we thought well, well, maybe we should just kind of pump the brakes on on trying, cause we're going to, we're doing a cross country move.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: Life just kind of got a little crazy.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: So the following week I had, I had a stressful week and I was like you know what A charcuterie board and some wine sounds great?
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: And I was like you know what a charcuterie board and some wine sounds great?
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: And I was like but maybe I should uh take a test real quick, just just to play it safe.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: And to my surprise we were like already bun in the oven and we just were.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: I remember like walking out of the bathroom.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: I remember like walking out of the bathroom and Michael's, my husband's name, and he was.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: He knew something was up, so he went in the bathroom and was like, oh, like, we were just shocked.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: It was really fun.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: So in the matter of a month we found out that we were moving across the country, we're pregnant and then we like the next month like rolled right into buying a house.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: So we hit like the three bigums right away Boom, boom, boom.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: And initially I started my care with an OBGYN's office and just you know, going through the motions how I knew how to do it, and then we got to Maine and it was kind of just I had this.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: Well, I spent the whole trip going from Idaho to Maine on podcasts about birth, about all the things.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: I mean just hours and hours and had stumbled upon this idea of a home birth and and that's just kind of it kind of just like went from there.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: I had one appointment here with an OBGYN and I remember at the appointment I even told them you know that I wasn't even 100% on whether I was going to continue my care there.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: So it was, yeah, kind of a wild ride and I just Googled like birthing centers and there was one right in town, like right around the corner from our house.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: So we ended up going with Saco River Midwifery with Ariel and it was fantastic.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: I mean, I really only had two appointments with an OBGYN and they were very like.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: I really wanted like this connection in my mind.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: I thought that like it would be this, like very like they would be on the journey with me and they would be as excited as I was.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: And that really wasn't how I felt until I started my care with Ariel and our appointments they always ran late, later, because we were always talking and you know I never felt rushed.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: It just was awesome awesome.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: Oh, that is awesome.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: So how were you feeling during this pregnancy and did you do any testing?
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: yeah, we did.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: We did pretty much all of the testing, the.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: I think it was like what is the two ultrasounds, the eight week and the 20 and then I did the glucose testing and I tested high and I really didn't want to do the drink again, so I just ended up getting a glucose monitor and monitoring my own levels and then and they were within normal limits so it was really just one of those fluke things, so that was really great.
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: So how far along were you when you moved?
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I was 15 weeks, I think, when we had moved, and so I mean I was still feeling pretty nauseous, I think, when we had moved, and so I mean I was still feeling pretty nauseous, but other than that the trip was was pretty great and I, I worked all the way through pregnancy and, uh, I don't know, I just everyone wanted to do things for me, but I was really just I felt good, so I was like, let me do it.
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, awesome.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: So now walk me through those last final days or weeks like kind of leading up to your labor and birth.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: Sure, we, I really didn't have any.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: I knew I was ready.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: Sleeping had become so uncomfortable and I was in school and it was stressful, and so by the end of it I really was just ready to be comfortable and be able to get some sleep again.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: And so I remember like my 37 weeks I was like, okay, I'm gonna, you know, we're going on walks and I just started prepping.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: I made those little padsicles and my freezer was full of preparation stuff and it was really yeah, it was really great, and I was really just immersed in school.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: I just didn't even have a moment to really stress or think about labor.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: We did really good.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: We didn't do any classes, but every Saturday we had a goal, like we would each pick some sort of like educational video that we found somewhere and then we would like sit down and and go over it and and then that way we could like go to Ariel and be like, okay, we saw this, what are your thoughts?
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: And so that was pretty fun and it was also just kind of bonding for the both of us and fun for it to be just a mutual effort to prepare and get ready.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: And yeah, lots of curb walking and raspberry leaf tea and all the things, yeah.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: So how was that coinciding with your school schedule when you were almost 40 weeks?
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: It was in the end of October, so we were really kind of the semester was coming to an end, and that's it always is bittersweet because it's, yes, it's coming to an end, but there's so much work.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: So we were preparing for these skills assessments that we have, and the week of that exam I had woken up and I had released I think Ariel called it there was amniotic fluid and it wasn't.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: And so it was like okay, it's, it's coming, but who knows?
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: So you know, just keep doing what you're doing, but be mindful of what's going on.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: And so I went to school the next day and everything was fine.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: And then I got up the morning of our skills assessment and took a shower and all of a sudden I had this pain and I was like what in the world is this?
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: And so I remember my husband was still sleeping and I called out to him and was like Michael, I don't know how I feel right now, I don't know what this is, but something's happening and it's like okay.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: And uh, I just continued to get ready and they rapidly became stronger and I was like this is so weird, because I know that you know it's it's supposed to start slow.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: You know I'm supposed to be able to, like I had all these visions that I was like going to go for a walk and you know I'll like maybe like do some cross stitch and and all these things, but it progressed.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: It was progressing so rapidly and I was like man gosh, I think you should call Ariel and just like, let her know that that this feels strong, strong, and.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: And so we called her and she was like, yeah, well, you know, call me a little later when it gets a little worse, like okay, so, and so we just and you know what's so funny is I had this idea of what I wanted my labor to look like, and you know, I really wanted it in the morning.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: Our bedroom gets fantastic morning light and it's always really bright, and so I had envisioned that and I and I wanted that, and and we have a smaller old farmhouse, and so I thought maybe I'd be in the bedroom or downstairs, and it's just kind of funny, the morning day, I mean it did.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: In fact it was like a beautiful October day, you know, cool, with sun.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: I mean it was just beautiful.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: And yeah, so it was the start of the ball.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: Rolling was almost how I imagined it faster than I had imagined, but everything just kind of was in a line.
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: There was no crazy like cause I was, I had this fear that I'd be in school and then I'd have to like call my goal.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: And you know it's so funny, cause you see on these movies that it like is this big, dramatic thing, and so I had a little bit of fear that that would be the case.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: But I'm so glad that everything kind of started in my own home with Michael here, and so that was pretty comforting for sure.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that sounds really nice and peaceful, yeah, so how did your day go, like sort of, after that?
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so we it.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: It progressed pretty rapidly.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: I remember I had a moment I felt most comfortable, like I was.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: Most of it was on the toilet, like I just felt like that squatting position was most comfortable.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: And so I started there and I was like you know, we were timing them and and Michael was running, running around letting the dogs out and and getting the.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: We had a pool set up just in case I wanted to get in the pool.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: So he was kind of getting that all together and I remember I was like gosh, it's taking him so long.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: And I was like I just need him up here, stop doing all these great things and just be with me.
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: But we had gotten the liner to the pool, we had gotten the wrong one, and so he had been down there just trying to like problem solve.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: He's like how do I get this thing on?
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: But it ended up that I didn't.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: There was no moment where I felt that I could even get down the stairs to to use the, the birthing pool.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: So I had this moment where I felt like I was bearing down and I was like, oh, that is much different.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: Definitely call Ariel.
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: So she.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: So Michael called her and she.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: Thankfully she's just a few minutes from the house, so she was over really quick and the whole you know the whole, I mean mostly, I think, because it I started contractions around six and then Javier was born at 11, around 11.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: And so I didn't have any cervical checks to check dilation, just and mostly probably because it was just so fast.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: So I moved, yeah, I was started on the on the toilet, I moved to the bed, I spent a lot of the laboring just on my hands and knees on our bed and I I was just into transition so quick because I remember I had moved to the bed and then I ended up getting really sick from just the pure pain and that was such a strange.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: I've never been sick from pain and that was such a weird, strange sensation and I didn't realize that was something I didn't know was a possibility, but now, just from being interested in birth, a lot of people are sick during their labor.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: So that was like probably the most uncomfortable.
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: But and then I moved and we finished laboring in the bathroom and I started, I went right back to sitting on the toilet and then it ended up that I needed to move my pelvis forward and so for the last 30 minutes probably, it's so hard looking back because you're so in the throes of it that you don't really time is such a weird thing, and what's going on around you is you're just truly in a different realm, a different world.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: And so I think maybe it was 30 minutes where Michael was behind me supporting my whole weight.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: I mean, justin, I remember seeing his legs shaking because he was just so darn exhausted, but it was like it was just so great Cause it felt like, uh, like we were doing it together.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: You know it wasn't just me and he's, you know, sitting next to me.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: Good job, like he was really working with me, it was.
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: It was very funny and and really sweet, and I made that moment.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: You know the umbilical cord was long enough where we could pull Javi up onto my chest after, and so it was.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: So it was like this beautiful love sandwich.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: I had Michael on the back of me and Javi on the front, and it was the absolute best.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: And the midwife who came with Ariel to focus on Javi was able to snap some pictures on my phone which I'm so happy, like in.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: You don't realize how much you'll treasure those things.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: Until I look at them.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: I almost every month.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: I mean I really do just going back and reliving it, cause it's just, it makes me teary eyed even thinking about it, such a special moment, but yeah it, it was incredible.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: So so did you.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: So you were not in the water, though, when you gave birth.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: So how did your actual birth like kind of unfold?
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: So then, so Ariel catched, uh, javi, I, I, I wanted Michael too, but he, he was like I don't know, because he was a little.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: It took some convincing to get him comfortable with a home birth.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: You know he's, it wasn't something that I ever think was on his radar ever.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: And so, um, I think the thought of catching he just still wasn't super ready for yet, maybe with the next baby.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: But now he might be competing with me because now I'm like, well, well, it's my turn, I want to.
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: But yeah, it was great, I tore.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: So I, I think it's.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: Uh, in Maine midwives can suture like first and second degree tears and then third, they can't.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: And I was borderline, like I was a severe two, almost a three, but not really.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: So Ariel was like you know, I got you.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: You know, I, I was able, severe two, almost a three, but not really.
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: So Ariel was like you know, I got you.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: You know I was able to suture you, but like, let's go and get it checked, just because you're so close to being a three.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: So, and nurse, and and Michael got to lay next to us and it was, oh, that was so great we did delayed cord clamping.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: Gosh, I'm not even, like I said, I don't even know for how long, but so when did your placenta come out?
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: but when did your placenta come out?
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: And then my placenta came out once we had moved to the bed.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: It yeah so maybe 10 to 20 minutes.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: I gosh, I don't even know.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: I was just like in such a little like love bubble.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: I don't.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: I don't even like I didn't.
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: I don't remember feeling pain or or maybe a little, maybe a little bit, cause I do remember that.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: I remember Ariel telling me that there would be a little bit of discomfort, like not nearly as bad as as the birth, but truly wasn't.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: You just have so much of that oxytocin going.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: You're just, you're just not even thinking about that.
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: And so he we nursed for for a little bit.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: And then at one point I think we were weighing Javi and they'd noticed that he had on one of his feet, I think it was like cyanosis, where it's blue, and so they were like like that's a little funky, but you're.
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: And then he had some tachypnea with like some rapid breathing, and so, because I was going in anyways, they were like, well, let's, we'll just bring him in and get him checked out.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: You know it's probably nothing, but if you're there you might as well.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: So that was, that was the plan, and we were never in any rush.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: I, if I could give any advice to anyone, it's like, get good snacks, because that was the like dried mango and strawberries and water Like it was just so great.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: You're just so hungry after and even during, and keeping your blood glucose up is like it was the best.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: And so like it was the best and so, yeah, it was great.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: So once we, you know, cut the cut the cord and he had been weighed and all of that, we were able to, you know, snuggle skin to skin for a little bit longer and snack.
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: And I was 39 weeks.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: Should we have had the car seat installed?
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: Probably weeks.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: Should we have had the car seat installed?
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: Probably Did we no.
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: So I was snuggling Javi and Michael was figuring out the car seat and having such a hard time with it, and so, thankfully, tiffany, the other midwife who was with us, helped Michael install that and get it going.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: So that was, that was fantastic.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, then we, we loaded up, ariel, went with us to the hospital and then Tiffany stayed back and kind of tidied up for us, which was so, so nice.
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: And we, we headed to the hospital and I sat in the back with Javi and on the way I was like gosh, like he seems like he's a little purple, and I remember saying I was like man, he just seems a little purple.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: And you know, we were like we, you just don't know.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: But so then we got to the hospital and and they were expecting us, um, but they were expecting mostly just to care for me.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: So we came in and then the nurse who greeted us popped in to see Javi and instantly the alarms were kind of going off.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: She's like, oh, he's really blue, so like that made us a little anxious.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: But then we got into our room and we went right up to mother baby.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: When we initially got there Cause they were expecting us and it was, they were just expecting to see me.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: So we got up there, they took vitals and his vitals were pretty good but still still had some rapid breathing.
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: So we did the sutures for myself and then I think it's just hospital policy that they wouldn't treat hobby unless we went down to the emergency room and become admitted that way.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: So I'm saying, oh geez, goodness gracious, they made you go around.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: Oh my, gosh.
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: Like, is that a baby?
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: Like, come on, they made you go around.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, like is that a baby?
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: Like, come on, I know so, I'm, you know, sutured up, put my clothes back on, we go down and we go in through the ER and, um, it just went from controlled environment to chaos, just pure chaos.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: So we, we were brought back to our room and there was a lot.
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: I also didn't realize that Maine Med is a training school, so there was lots of people, students, you know the whole kit and caboodle.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: So they were testing, they were checking his vitals and, oh, they tested his blood glucose and it was low.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: But we also hadn't nursed in a little while.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: We had the trip there and then waiting for me to get my care and then waiting to get into the EOP, so it had been a little while.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: So that made sense.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: So we started to nurse, but then, while we nursed, he like began to I don't I'm not sure if he was coughing or got choked up on the breast milk or if there was like something in his lungs that he was just kind of like you know, some, some gunk.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: I guess that he was like coughing up but he ended up desetting, coughing up but he ended up descending.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: So and then, the minute that happened.
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: It was, you know, like he's well, and it was so frustrating because he's I can see that he's choking, and so I'm alarmed and and I'm like looking around, you know, like somebody, somebody help, but there's so many people and they're, all you know, talking and chatting and doing other things and it almost takes away from your care because there's so much other distractions.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: And so it ended up that Ariel ended up having to like, grab Javi and like and help me, and like and help me, and then they caught on.
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: They were like, oh, what's the ruckus?
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: And then they were like, oh, okay, they need, they need care.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: So it was just, that was alarming.
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: I was just like, instantly, at that moment, I was frustrated, what in the world just happened?
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: And so then that prompted us being admitted into the NICU.
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: So then we popped up to the NICU and thank goodness I, I really I've I've told Ariel this a couple of times, but I don't know what I would have done without her, because there's so many questions that they need and ask and I never would have been able to answer the questions a because I, you know, was so wrapped up in going through the labor process that I wasn't totally there to be paying attention.
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: And and and then b I was just so distraught from what had just happened downstairs in the ER.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: I was just like I just went from this beautiful morning labor and birth and cuddles in the way that I had hoped that it would happen, to now we're admitted into the NICU.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: What in the absolute world is going on?
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: And so they ended up doing chest x-rays.
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: Everything looked fine, and then they ended up finding out that.
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: So I'm a positive, no, I can't remember.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: Our blood types basically aren't compatible, so he ended up having a higher risk of having jaundice, and so at the time I was like, oh, okay that I felt like that, like, oh, that's a very serious thing.
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: But in hindsight, from what I've learned is that that is actually like that's pretty normal with those two blood types and can totally be like that could have been something dealt with at home for sure.
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: Like not not necessary to stay, uh, in the NICU, uh.
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: And then, yeah, breathing, the rapid breathing resolved itself, but when he slept he would sleep so heavy that his oxygen levels would dip down, and but then they, they would resolve themselves and we just kind of got stuck in this.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: I don't want to call it a trap like the NICU.
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: We just kind of got stuck in all the mumble jumble and policies like, oh, like we don't feel comfortable sending you home because of this.
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: But in reality if we, if we hadn't had him seen, he would have done those things at home as many many.
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: It's actually very common, from what I've learned, in boys to do this and so because he was put on a monitor, then people were aware of it and we ended up having to stay.
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: So that was that was a bummer of it.
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: And we ended up having to stay.
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: So that was that was a bummer.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: And finally he had.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: So we ended up spending 10 days in the NICU and I can't even I think it was around day six that he he would still drop low in his oxygen levels, but it wouldn't go below like 93, 95.
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: So they were, they were okay with it at that point.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: But we had bought an infant car seat that was more upright and really padded and he kept failing his car seat test because it was like too much padding and he was it would like scrunch him up and then I think it must have like obstructed his airway, and so we ended up having to.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: So we failed in that car seat twice and then we went and bought a new car seat and passed with that one and and so we were finally able to go home.
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: And then we just went right back to our you know, cuddles, and, and I got four weeks off from school.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: So that was great, and my and at that time my in-laws had.
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: They had already had their plane tickets booked and we thought that we would have a couple days alone with Javi and then they would get there.
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: But the days that we had alone with Javi were in the hospital.
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: So it was nice when we got home we had them, so we didn't have to worry about cooking or anything.
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: We really did just get to sleep and cuddle and work on breastfeeding.
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: And I will say that the lactation consultants at Maine Med were so incredibly helpful, because it was just a little bit of a struggle, as I think it is with anyone who ends up being admitted into the NICU, because you really are encouraged to you know, I know that they're trying to like make sure that we're taking care of ourselves, and so they want us to rest and all of these things.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: But what you don't realize is that it then is creating kind of a like a a wall between you and baby.
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: You know, and I really felt that and I really felt that when I they had, you know encouraged us to go home, and so I I went home and and that was hard, I didn't want to leave.
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: I cried the whole time I was home.
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: I much rather would have just been there.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: But I thought that that's what you know, because everyone told me that that's what would be best, and so I thought that's what would be best and so, okay, that's fine.
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: And we were supposed to be doing donor breast milk to help supplement my, like working on my own supply.
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: And we got back to the hospital and the nurse that popped in was like I hope you don't mind, but we ran out of donor milk.
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: So we gave him formula and I just remember being like I don't know, I was just so disappointed, but I also, and it was like out of my hands, like I wasn't there, and I'm like, shoot, I just shouldn't have even left.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: It's just so hard from you know, from what I wanted, and I don't, yeah, and you don't want to rock the boat with people, cause then you're scared, you know, you don't want to be like.
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: I think there's there can be like a stigma around advocating for yourself and you don't want to be that pain in the butt parent.
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: You know cause you want them, you almost want them to.
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: You want to be their favorite so that you feel like you're getting like the best care and mindfulness.
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: So you almost like don't want to say anything, but yeah, it's just hard, it's super hard, oh my goodness.
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: So how was your postpartum time?
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: Sort of after that, after getting home and settling in?
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: yeah, it was the best.
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: I really the the.
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: I'm so glad that I took so many videos of just us, like mornings of him and just the noises he made and and so it's really fun looking back at those and almost reliving it, because it was the best four weeks of my life.
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: I didn't even care that I was losing sleep and out of my mind, I truly didn't mind.
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: It was the best and we ended up co-sleeping.
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: I tried, I tried the bassinet.
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: I did.
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: I knew I was supposed to, but it's just what worked best for us.
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: I mean, I felt I, I, when we started with the bassinet, I was waking up constantly and putting my hand out to make sure that he was, you know, still there, still still doing good.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: I had a little bit of postpartum anxiety with, like around SIDS.
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: I really did.
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: It's such a mysterious thing and so you know it's so hard because you don't know how to prevent something that they don't know what causes it.
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: So I had, yeah, a little bit of anxiety around that.
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: But I felt like when we co-slept, because he was always reaching out to nurse, I knew he was okay, I knew it was.
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it was just the most and I never felt scared.
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: You know, I never felt like I was going to roll over on him.
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: I was always very conscious of like you're almost like half sleeping.
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: It's just like the most bizarre thing.
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: But yeah, oh my gosh.
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: I think it's so important to really follow your intuition with all of that stuff and just do what feels right to you, because to everybody, you know, it looks different to everybody and it's just so important to do what feels right to you.
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: And that's why I like just to like push the importance I think of, like your podcast and like there's so many other important cool birthing podcasts out there that let women tell their stories, because you then realize it's not just like one size fits all.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: Everybody is so incredibly different and and there there's no right or wrong it's what works best for their family, like their dynamics, and that's just what makes it so cool, truly.
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: And no birth is the same.
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: But you know, like no, no, pregnancy, birth, postpartum is the same, and and yeah, it's just so cool yeah, it's just so cool.
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, totally, even if, like you know, you have a first birth experience going into the second.
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: You know you're thinking, like a lot of times, like it's gonna be this, you know, similar, and it's just like every single one is different, even you know yeah, you're always experiencing it for the first time, exactly.
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, just makes me I am.
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: He is 17 months and I am already.
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: I totally forgot.
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: I remember after birth I was like, okay, that was so painful, I'm not doing that again.
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: That was wild, that was crazy.
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: And now I am.
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: I'm like can we go like let's, I just want to be pregnant now.
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: I'm so ready to do it again.
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: I totally don't even remember any of the pain, just the pure bliss.
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that is crazy, how that happens.
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: It's so funny, yeah, and so well.
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: And then I went back to school and I had been kind of going in for exams and and stuff here and there, so it wasn't a total hard like disconnect which, uh, with my next I probably would do more of.
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: You know, like a solid boundary, like no schoolwork, but the first two years are all didactics so it's really easy to get behind.
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: So I tried to just kind of like keep it up and I went back to school for two weeks and then was off for Christmas break.
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: So he came at the perfect time.
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: I had lots of time to relax and cuddle and hang out with him and, yeah, and it's so wild, like totally healthy, great little baby.
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: We just hung out at the NICU for some crazy reason for 10 days.
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: It's.
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: It's so wild to think back on, so wow yeah, that is crazy.
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: And especially you know the fact that you pointed out I think is pretty accurate that you know they do go through some of those things at home and you know they resolve on their own.
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: But, yeah, pick them up at the hospital.
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: It's like, oh, you're going to go through this.
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like circus kind of.
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, Well, and I and I had done a little bit of research after cause I was like what in the world could have caused that?
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: And because I think labor progressed so quickly there wasn't enough time for him to adjust to what the heck was going on.
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: I mean, he was truly just one minute I was pregnant and then, like it felt like one minute, I was a mom, Like whoa, what just happened?
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: So I must have slept through the early labor, I guess I mean I am a hard sleeper, but I didn't think I was that hard of a sleeper, but I guess I am.
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: Wow, yeah.
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: Oh, my goodness.
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: So now, as a final question if you were to give advice to someone who's expecting, or even new parents, what is the biggest thing that you would say?
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: I would say asking, asking people about their birth experiences, like getting as much firsthand experience from other people as possible as a as a couple, like I think as a as a couple, like I think I think a lot of partners go in without doing the work and I think it is so important to be knowledgeable and just know.
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: And also, I think, researching.
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: I mean postpartum, I thought was like the few weeks after, but I honestly still feel like I'm going through postpartum sometimes, like I still feel like my hormones are regulating and I'm constantly still Googling things and so I wish I had spent some more time researching postpartum and and what my body would be going through and that sort of thing.
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: So yeah, yeah, that's super important.
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: Don't forget about the postpartum.
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: We spend so much time like preparing for the birth, which is the main event, right, but like don't forget what comes after.
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: Yes, and I think, like letting go of expectations of, like, what your day is going to look like, cause I think that was one of the big things I did.
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: I had a few things that I ideally wanted.
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: You know, I really wanted that morning sunshine.
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: That was like I really focused in on that, but other than that, I really kind of I just I was very vague with with my thing, but I think, being a home birth, I knew I just wanted it to be as hands-off as possible, and when you do a home birth there's not a lot of pressure to do a whole lot.
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: It can be really hands-off, and so that was really amazing, for sure yeah, oh my gosh, I love it well.
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much, haley, for sharing your story tonight.
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: Thank you for the opportunity.
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: I really just big old fan over your podcast.
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: It's such a great resource for women and and families going through this experience.
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: And that's the end of another episode of the my Main Birth podcast.
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: Thank you for joining me and listening.
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: If you're looking to document your birth story or if you're interested in doula support for your upcoming birth, head over to my website, mymainbirthcom and check out my packages.
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: I'm a certified professional birth photographer and an experienced doula, and I offer in-person services to families throughout the state of Maine, as well as virtual birth coaching worldwide.
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: I want to invite you to grab my top free resource for newly pregnant moms.
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: It's called 37 questions to ask your care provider, whether you've already established care or if you're in the process of interviewing new providers.
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: This is for you.
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: Not only are you going to get the questions to ask, but I also share how to assess their answers and the major red flags that you should be looking for.
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: So go grab that.
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: It's at mymainbirthcom slash download.
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: Thank you again for tuning in and I look forward to bringing you more amazing birth stories.
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: Don't forget to subscribe and leave me a review, and I'll see you back here again next week.