Latest / Voddie Baucham Sermons / Voddie Baucham - Berean Bible Church Family Conference Afternoon Session

Transcript

Voddie Baucham - Berean Bible Church Family Conference Afternoon Session · Voddie Baucham Sermons

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, let's open this time once again in prayer. Let's pray.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Father in heaven, we thank you for what we've already learned.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: We thank you for the grace that is always ministered
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: through your word. And even as we were so wonderfully
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: taught the connection between the indicatives and the imperatives, what
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: we ought to know and what we ought to do,
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: we We pray, Father, that even this next section would
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: speak to our hearts in the same way, that the
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: power would come by that spirit that works in us
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: and builds us up.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: Teach us your word.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: Help us to grow by your grace and in your son,
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: in whose name we pray these things.
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: Amen. All right. So now we race to the latter
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: part of the second half. And I want us to
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: look at these familiar imperatives that we rightly associate with
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: biblical marriage family. but look at them in a different light,
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: and in the end, deal with some really practical things
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: that I think are incredibly beneficial. So, when we look
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: at Ephesians 5, and we look at the relationship between
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: husbands and wives, we often start there with Ephesians 5, 22. Wives,
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord, we've
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: already read this, but The problem with that is Ephesians 5.22
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: borrows its verb in Greek texts from 5.21. And it's
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: just wives tear on husbands. And people have made much
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: of that in an attempt, especially with the rise of
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: evangelical feminisms. in an attempt to undermine male headship. Because
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: what that means is you can't really understand Ephesians 5.22
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: without understanding Ephesians 5.21, submitting to one another out of
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: reverence for Christ. And this has now turned into an
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: argument for what many refer to as mutual submission in marriage.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: There's a couple of problems with that. Let me just
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: highlight a few of them. One problem with that is
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: that the word for submission here doesn't allow for mutual submission.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: This word, hupotaso, it's a military term, right? Wives submit
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: to your own husbands as to the Lord. I know
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: there's a lot of military presence in Hawaii. I don't
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: know how much on this island, but I know there's
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: a lot of military presence in Hawaii and a lot
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: of military people, former military people, but you don't have
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: to have a lot of military knowledge to know that
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: in the military, submission only goes one direction in the
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: chain of command. Right? You submit up the chain of command,
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: not down. Right? Orders come from up to down, right?
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: They never go the other way. All right? So that's
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: the first problem with arguing for this mutual submission. The
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: second problem with arguing for this is that there are
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: a number of other passages where Paul mirrors this language
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: and talks about the same thing. For example, in Colossians 3.
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: And there is no mutual submission verse there. So we
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: have to read this into that. The third problem is
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: a contextual problem. Just like it's important to recognize that
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: you have to acknowledge 521 when reading 522 because of
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: the verb, it's also important to acknowledge that 522 is
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: the end of a paragraph. I mean, 521, rather, is
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: the end of a paragraph, right? And I don't know
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: what kind of Bible you use, but most modern Bibles will...
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: have an indication of when a paragraph begins or ends
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: you may have an indentation you may have bold numbers
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: or whatever but whatever you have will indicate that 522
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: is the beginning of a new paragraph and then 525
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: is the beginning of a new paragraph right 521 is
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: part of a paragraph that begins in 515 now I
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: don't care what language you grew up speaking I don't
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: care if it went left to right, right to left,
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: top to bottom, whatever. What it didn't do is it
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: didn't start with the end of paragraphs.
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: Amen?
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: No language does that. You don't start with the end
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: of a paragraph. So in order for us to understand 521,
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: we got to go back to 515. When you go
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: back to 515, an amazing thing happens. An amazing thing happens.
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: you have three contrasts. On the third contrast, you get
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: three commands. And then on the third command, you get
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: three contexts. Let's look at that. Beginning of verse 15.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: Look carefully then how you walk. Not as unwise, but
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: as wise. That's the first contrast, right? Making the best
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: use of the time because the days are evil. Therefore,
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: do not be foolish again. but understand what the will
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: of the Lord is. That's the second contrast, right? Now
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: there's going to be a third contrast. Verse 18. Do
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: be filled with the Spirit. That's the third contrast. On
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: the third contrast, you get three commands. The three commands
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: are related to the third contrast. Be filled with the Spirit. Well,
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: how so? Number one. addressing one another in psalms, hymns,
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: all your heart. Okay? So there we have praise, right? Worship.
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: Be filled with the Spirit. How? Praising and worshiping the Lord.
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: Can you imagine someone who said to you, listen, I'm
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: a Spirit-filled Christian, and you said, that's awesome. Let's worship
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: and praise the Lord. And then they said, nah, I
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: don't do the worship and praising thing. It didn't fit, right?
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: Verse 20, giving thanks always and for everything to God
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: the Father in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: So not only are you worshipful, but you're prayerful. Be prayerful. Again,
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: imagine the person. I am a spirit-filled believer. Oh, that's awesome.
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: Let's pray. Nah, I don't do the praying thing. I'm
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: filled with the spirit. Don't worship. Don't pray. But I'm
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: filled with the Spirit. Completely inconsistent, right? You follow? Now,
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: verse 21, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: According to Paul's argument, it would be just as illegitimate
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: for a person to say they were Spirit-filled but not
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: submissive to proper authority as it would be for them
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: to say they're Spirit-filled but not worshipful and not prayerful. Now,
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: on the third contrast, you get three commands. On the
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: third command, you get three contexts. So, submit to one
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: another out of reverence of Christ. First context, wives, submit
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: to your own husbands. Second context, chapter 6, verse 1, children,
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: obey your parents. Third context, chapter 6, verse 5, slaves,
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: obey your masters. Three contexts, right? Three contrasts. On the
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: third contrast, you get three commands. On the third command,
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: you get three contexts. Well, what does that mean? What
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: that means is Ephesians 5.21 is not the umbrella for
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: Ephesians 5.22. It's the umbrella for Ephesians 5.22 through 6.9.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: It does not teach context. or call for mutual submission
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: between husbands and wives. It does not. As we say
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: in Texas, that dog won't hunt. It calls for wives
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: to submit to their own husbands as to the Lord.
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: And by the way, it doesn't even work when you
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: read this text. Wives submit to your own husbands as
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: to the Lord, for the husband is the head of
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: the wife, As Christ is the head of the church,
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: his body, and is himself its savior. So wives, submit
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: to your husbands, because they're the head, like Christ is
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: the head of the church, his body, its savior. if
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: it's mutual submission wouldn't it have to say wives submit
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: to your own husbands as to the lord like christ
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: submits sometimes to his church instead of the church huh
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: It wouldn't work. I'm amazed that there are people who
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: hold to this position, right? They have verse 21. They
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: don't like the idea of male headship, right? They don't
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: like the patriarchy. And you have to say the patriarchy now.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: It's not just patriarchy. It's the patriarchy. It's a thing, right?
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: They don't like the idea of patriarchy. And because of that,
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: they run to verse 21. Number one, they ignore the
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: broader context. But number two, they ignore the immediate context
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: because the concept of mutual submission makes a mockery of
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: the actual paragraph. The paragraph wouldn't work. Verse 24, now
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: submit in everything to their husbands. How could you possibly
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: work mutual submission into that statement? You can't. You can't
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: get there from here. Okay? You can't get there from here.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: By the way, this is about Christ's headship over his body.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: This is not a statement of value. It's a statement
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: of order. It's not a statement of value. It's a
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: statement of order. Listen, anything with two heads is a monster.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: Either kill it Or catch it, put it in a cage,
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: and make people pay to come see it, right? But
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: anything with two heads is a monster. It doesn't work.
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: It doesn't work. And this is not a statement of value.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: Here's an illustration I like to use. And again, you
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: don't have to know much about the military in order
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: to get this. Remember, this is a military term. Who's
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: more valuable to the military? Let's take I don't know, whatever.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: The Marine Corps, right? I grew up in a family
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: of Marines. So the Marine Corps, who's more valuable to
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: the Marine Corps? When I was born and raised in
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: Los Angeles, drug-infested, gang-infested, South Central LA, right? Crips, bloods,
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: crack wars, I was born and raised there. I was
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: raised by a single teenage Buddhist mother. Never heard the
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: gospel until my first year at university. But when I
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: got old enough to find a little trouble, or for
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: trouble to find me, depending on your perspective, or who
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: you ask, my mother shipped me out. And I went
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: and lived for a year and a half in Beaufort,
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: South Carolina, with my uncle, who's a retired drill instructor
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: in the Marine Corps. Hoorah. And I got out of trouble.
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: It was amazing. Uncle Kidd did 22 years in the
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: Marine Corps. Two and a half tours in Vietnam. Last
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: one was cut short because he was wounded. Purple Heart recipient. Unbelievable.
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: We did everything you can imagine in the Marine Corps.
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: And this guy, he was a Marine's Marine when the
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: Gulf War broke out. So he.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: He stayed in Beaufort afterwards. If you know anything about
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: that area, right, it's just, it's rivers and lakes and
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: the best hunting and fishing that you could imagine. He
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: was like, I'm never leaving this place. If the Marine
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: Corps sends me somewhere else, I'm going to come back here,
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: and I'm never leaving this place. And he's been there
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: ever since. Parris Island is where they do boot camp
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: on the East Coast for the Marine Corps. So Gulf
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: War breaks out. My uncle's in his 50s. He drives
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: on post to reenlist. And they said, listen, Gunny, we
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: can put you behind a desk or something like that, but,
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: you know, I mean, we just can't. And so he
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: drove back home. He's like, if you're not going to
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: let me fight, what am I here for? Like, that's
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: who I was living with. Right? So take my uncle.
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: 22 years in the Marine Corps. Sergeant. Gunnery sergeant. And
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: then you have a lieutenant.
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: Fresh out of the Naval Academy. Maybe 22 months in
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: the Marine Corps. this young lieutenant, who's more valuable to
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: the Marine Corps? Like, you don't have to sign up.
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: You don't have to go through basic training to be
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: able to figure out that the Marine Sergeant who's been
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: there for 22 years is way more valuable than the
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: Lieutenant who's been there for 22 months. Amen? But if
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: the Lieutenant Give the sergeant an order. What does the
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: sergeant do? Salute and execute. He obeys the order. Why?
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: Because it has nothing to do with value. It has
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: to do with the chain of command. Because the sergeant
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: also knows that the day he violates the chain of
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: command because of what he perceives as value is the
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: day that he disrupts the cohesion of the entire unit
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: because he said to everyone under him, the chain of
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: command doesn't matter. This is why whenever there's a wife
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: and a husband who come to me and the wife's
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: talking to me about problem with submission to her husband,
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: I always ask one question. How's it going with obedience
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: with your children? And the first response is, huh? We're
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: talking about us, not our children. No, no, no. If
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: you are violating the chain of command as a wife
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: to her husband, I guarantee you your children are not
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: respecting the chain of command with you. Tell me I'm wrong.
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: And they can't. It's inconceivable, inconceivable that you would have
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: a violation at the top of the chain of command
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: and not have a violation at the bottom of the
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: chain of command. It's inconceivable. This is about order, not value.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: It's about order, not value. Okay? You want to know
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: how valuable women are in the economy of God? All
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: you have to do is this. Ask yourself. There's a
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: drama here, right? You can think about this as a drama.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: And in this drama, the woman is depicting the precious
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: bride who is being redeemed. The man is depicting the
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: one who's crushed and killed because of how valuable she is. Hmm?
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: The submission to a husband is not predicated on his worthiness.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: It can't be. Because there has never been nor will
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: there ever be a husband who is worthy of the
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: submission of his wife. Amen, somebody. There never has been
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: and there never will be. By the way, this is
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: not about the submission of all women to all men. Wives,
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: submit to your own husbands. That's it. That's what this
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: is about. Okay? This is not a statement about men
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: and women. This is a statement about husbands and wives.
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: What's the other side of this, though? Husbands, love your
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: wives as Christ loved the church. I so appreciate the
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: fact that there's clarity here, right? I so appreciate that
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: fact that Paul doesn't just say husbands, love your wives
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: and just move on to something else so that cultural
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: norms could be used you know, to explain what's being
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: required here. This is not an option. Husbands are not
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: being told to feel a certain way toward their wives.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: They're being commanded to love their wives. Husbands, love your
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: wives as Christ loved the church. How did Christ love
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: the church? He gave himself up for her. He gave
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: himself up for her. Love is an act of the will.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: accompanied by emotion that leads to action on behalf of
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: its object. First and foremost, a choice, an act of
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: the will. It is accompanied by emotion. It's not led
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: by emotion. It's not void of emotion. It's accompanied by emotion.
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: And it manifests itself by leading to action on behalf
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: of its object. That's what men are called to. That's
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: what men are called to. I'm leaving my wife. Why?
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: Why are you leaving your wife? Don't leave your wife.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: We're just not in love like we used to be. Okay. Okay.
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: Why are you relieved, Pastor? I said, I'm leaving my wife.
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: I said, yeah, you said you're leaving her, but you
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: said you're leaving her because you're not in love with
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: her like you used to be. And I'm just relieved
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: because the Bible doesn't call you to be in love
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: with her like you used to be. It just commands
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: you to love her. So go home and love your wife.
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: Just go do it. Give yourself up for her. Yeah,
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: but you just don't understand how hard it is Nope,
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: and I also don't understand how hard the cross was,
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: but that's what he did. And so when you're told
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: to go love your wife like he loved the church,
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: the cross is the only thing that you can compare
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: it to. Go love your wife. I just, you just
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: don't understand. I don't even feel the same way toward her.
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: I don't see her the same way. I'm just, I'm
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: just done. Okay. Well, the Bible says, love your neighbor
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: as yourself, so go love your wife because she's your
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: closest neighbor. Well, she's not even my closest neighbor anymore, Pastor.
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: Why?
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: Because I moved out. Okay. The Bible says, love your enemies. Husbands,
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: himself up for her. You know, oftentimes... We miss this,
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: especially in this current day and age, right? Because we
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: live in an era where people say things like, I'm
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: leaving this marriage because I'm miserable and God wouldn't want
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: me to be miserable. I'm taken aback by that, right? God, just,
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: you know, help, just, okay, just pause for a minute.
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: I do not wish to make light of your misery.
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: But you're a Christian, so I have to ask you this.
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: The father crushed and killed his perfect, only begotten son
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: for sin that was not his own. But you, he
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: wouldn't want to experience misery. That math ain't math, man.
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: It's just not. Christ experienced misery on behalf of his bride.
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: So you've been miserable. That's just, that's not going to,
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: that's not going to get it. Why do I belabor
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: this point? Here's why I belabor this point. Because in
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: our current age, we hear the first passage, wives submit
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: to your own husbands. And because we think that the
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: patriarchy is the most evil thing imaginable, right? We think
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: that wives have just been called to something that no
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: human being should ever have to endure. And that husbands,
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: they just get off, right? Well, if you understand this rightly,
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: if you understand this rightly, Like I'm explaining it to you.
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: This is as costly as anything. This is as costly
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: as anything. Verse 26, that he might sanctify her, having
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: cleansed her by the washing of water. with the word.
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: By the way, if you're a young woman here and
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: you're not yet married, like my daughter over here, Safia,
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: I'm talking to you. Listen, listen. If you're a woman
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: here who's not, no, open it, open it, open it,
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: open it, open it, yeah, open it. Verse 26. If
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: you're a woman here, a young woman who's not yet married,
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: Listen very carefully to verse 27. So that he might
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: present the church to himself. Or I'm sorry, verse 26.
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: That he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: washing of water with the word. If you haven't found
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: a man who knows and loves God and his word
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: well enough to wash you With it and in it.
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: You haven't found a man who's worthy to be your husband.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: Verse 27. So that he might present the church to
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: thing that she might be holy and without blemish. Listen
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: to me again. Young ladies who are not married If
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: there is a man who is pressuring you to compromise
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: your purity, he has demonstrated that he is disqualified from
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: being your husband. Because the man who's to be your
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: husband is supposed to have the desire of presenting you
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: to himself without spot or wrinkle or any blemish. If
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: he wants to blemish you, he doesn't want to marry you.
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: And he's not qualified to marry you, which means he's
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: not qualified to be with you at all. Run. What
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: does this say to us, though, man? Don't miss this picture, right? So,
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: love your wife as Christ loved the church, gave himself
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: up for her. that he might sanctify her, set her apart,
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: having cleansed her by the washing of the water with
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: the word, so that he might present the church to
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing,
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: that she might be holy and without blemish. Here's the
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: way I would phrase it. My sanctifying love for my wife.
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: This is how I keep this. This is what I
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: remind myself of. My love for my wife ought to
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: have such a sanctifying influence that she's more like Christ
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: as a result of being married to me than she
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: would have been had she not. That she's more like
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: Christ as a result of being married to me than
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: she would have been had she not. And the sad
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: reality is most Christian women walk down the aisle with
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: a man that shows zero signs of being capable of
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: loving them like this. She's more spiritual than he is.
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: One of the reasons that she wrestles with submission to him.
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: Verse 28, in the same way husbands should love their
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: wives as their own bodies, he who loves his wife
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh,
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does the church.
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: because we are members of his body. So we have
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: Christ's headship over his body. We have the glory that
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: the body brings to its head. Now, again, we have
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: this picture of unity in Christ's body. Again, there's a
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: phrase that I just keep in my mind. She's not
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: just mine, she's me. She's not just mine, she's me.
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: If my wife is just mine, That's a certain attitude
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: and perspective that I have. She's mine. She belongs to me.
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: And she can be used. She can be abused. She
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: can be thrown away. She's just mine. But if she's
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: not just mine, she's me. That changes everything. I remember
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: vividly the first argument that Bridget and I had. Not
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: the first argument, but the aftermath of the first argument
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: that Bridget and I had. And the reason I remember
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: it so vividly is because we went to separate parts
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: of this tiny little apartment that we were living in,
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: and both of us had the same thought. Both of
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: us had the same thought, and the thought was that
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: our marriage was over. Why did we both think that?
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: And not because it was like such a particularly bad argument,
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: But because last two generations, both sides of our families,
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: there have been 26 marriages and 23 divorces. One of
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: those three couples that hasn't divorced is us. We've been
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: married 35 years in a row, right? Another one of
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: those is a marriage that ended in premature death. And
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: another is a marriage that raised one child who was
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: the product of an adulterous affair. That's our whole marriage legacy.
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: So when we're newly married and had this big argument, again,
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: I can't even remember what it was about, but the
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: aftermath I'll never forget. And we were both in separate
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: parts of the house mourning the death of our marriage
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: because we'd seen people argue and fight before, but we
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: hadn't seen them reconcile and stay married. So we didn't
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: even know that was a thing. And then we did.
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: And again, and again, and again. And I remember this
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: godly man, by God's grace, he was a godly older
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: man in my life. One of them was a deacon
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: at the first church that we were members of. And
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: I remember him saying to me, you know, when you're
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: in an argument with your wife, just think of it
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: this way. You're not trying to defeat your wife in
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: an argument. I'm a debater. I was on the debate team.
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: I was, you know, we get into these arguments and
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: I'm like, you know, I know I got one speed, right?
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: And he said, don't think about defeating your wife in
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: an argument. First of all, you defeat your wife in
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: an argument, even when you win, you lose. But secondly,
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: you defeating your wife in an argument is like your
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: right arm defeating your left. What if you won? That
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: never left me. That never left me. Unity in Christ's body.
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: She's not just mine, she's me. Look at the next
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: part of this. Verse 31, therefore a man shall leave
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: his father and mother and hold fast to his wife
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: and the two shall become one flesh. This is a physical, spiritual,
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: and emotional union. She's not just mine, she's me. That's
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: the beauty here. So this passage here is not just
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: giving us a list of behaviors that we're to pursue,
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: but in the context of the book as a whole,
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: it is giving us a worldview and a mindset that
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: is supposed to govern the lives that we live together.
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: Marriage is not just about, right, okay, I'm going to
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: do this, and then I'm going to do that, and
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: then She's going to do this, and she's going to
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: do that. And we go, no. No, no, no, no, no.
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: Marriage is about operating from a mindset and a worldview
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: that is governed and ruled by Scripture, by the Spirit
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: of God himself, who, by the way, is building us
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: into a body, right? He's doing that in the church.
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: He's also doing that in our marriage. He's building that
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: one flesh union, right? So it's about us holding fast
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: to these indicatives and then recognizing why and how the
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: imperatives make so much sense because of who we are
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: in Christ, right? But it doesn't end there. Look at 6-1.
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: Oftentimes we want to divorce these, right? One of the,
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: this goes back to what I was talking about in
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: the open, our attitudes, right? One of the things I
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: always do whenever I do a wedding, right, in the
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: pastoral prayer, in the wedding, at the close of the wedding,
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: always in my pastoral prayer, at some point, part of
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: my prayer is that God would give this couple children
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: early and often. I always use that phrase. And it's
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: always that kind of response, right? Like, wait, what? People,
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: they even look up, you know? You know, I'm praying
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: and people are like. Because both of those things are controversial, right?
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: That God would give them children often, you know? Like, no, dude.
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: A boy for me and a girl for you and
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: praise the Lord we're finally through, right? No, no. What's
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: this often stuff, you know? And then early. No, not early. Because,
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: you know, we're newlyweds, which means we're yachts. Not like
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: the boat yacht, but yacht, Y-O-T. Like, you know, we'll
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: have children in a year or two. Right? It's like
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: it's in the Bible. Over there in second hesitation. It's
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: like when you get married. You wait at least a
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: couple of years, you know, to start having children. And
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: so both of those things are controversial. And I always
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: put both of them in my prayer. Before that, I
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: put it in my pastoral counseling. Have babies early and
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: often because that's what this is for. We're not ready
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: to have children, then don't get married because that's what
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: married people do. Not ready to have children, don't get married.
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: I feel like we need to get to know each
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: other first you really want to get to know somebody
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: have a baby with them and all the parents said
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: amen right but notice that here there's this seamless connection
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: between the instruction to wives the instruction to husbands and
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: then the instruction to children Because it's the expectation. It's
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: the expectation. Listen, one of the things that led to
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: the wheels falling off culturally in terms of marriage and
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: family is divorcing sex from childbearing. When everybody wants to
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: look at the 1960s, right? No, no, no, no, no,
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: back up. Back up. You got to get back there,
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: 20s and 30s. You got to get back there to
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: the introduction of contraceptives, which all of a sudden changed
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: a whole world. Because before the introduction of contraceptives, sex
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: always brought the possibility of children. And people who engaged
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: in sex had to be open to the possibility of children.
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: contraceptives come along and all of a sudden we can
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: just have sex with people that we have no intention
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: of having children with. Changed the entire landscape. The entire landscape.
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: And then we divorce childbearing from marriage. Right? And so
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: we often stop at verse, you know, at chapter five
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: and don't, you act like, you know, chapter six is
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: just not connected. Newsflash, the Bible wasn't written with chapters
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: and verses. We've only had those for a few hundred years, right?
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: They're helpful so that we can all get to the
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: same place, but Ephesians was meant to be read in
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: one sitting, right? And so this chapter break between five
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: and six, while helpful, is not instructive in that there's
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: no disconnection. There's no disconnection between teaching on marriage and
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: teaching on childbearing and childrearing. Children, obey your parents in
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: the Lord. So look, wives, submit to your husbands as
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: to the Lord. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: the church. Children, obey your parents in the Lord. That's
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: all it's about. Christ's headship over his body, unity in
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: Christ's body, and the glory that the body brings to
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: its head. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: this is right. Honor your father and your mother. This
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: is the first commandment with a promise that it may
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: go well with you and that you may live long
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: in the land. By the way, this instruction to parents, right,
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: the instruction to wives, and the instruction to husbands. This
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: is rooted in gospel indicatives, right? But when he goes
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: to the instruction to children, he roots it in law.
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: Children are paid parents in the Lord, for this is right.
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: All the rest of this stuff, right? Speak the truth,
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: because we're members of one another, yada, yada, yada. This
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: one he goes, for this is right. And then he
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: goes to the Decalogue. Right? He goes to the fifth commandment.
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: Honor your father and your mother. The first commandment with
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: the promise that it may go well with you and
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: that you may live long on the land. Why? Why
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: does he go to the law with children? Well, because
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: they don't know the gospel. And the law is your tutor.
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: It is the law that lets you know that you're
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: a sinner. The law is the mirror that allows you
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: to see yourself as a sinner, and the law is
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: the tutor that lets you know you need a savior.
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: So your children come into your home, they don't know
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: the gospel. So you give them the law so that
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: they know that they're a sinner and so that they
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: know that they need a savior so that they can
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: be prepared to hear and respond to the gospel. That's
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: why he approaches it this way. Okay? That's why he
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: approaches it this way. By the way, the implications of this,
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: you know, I've had it like up to here with
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: this gentle parenting stuff. Stop explaining everything to your babies.
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: Now listen, when your children are older, right? When your
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: children are older, you can have conversations with them about
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: why it is that Things are going to go the
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: way that they're going to go. When they're younger, just
• 42:23
  Speaker 2: give them the law. Because I said so is a valid, appropriate,
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: and godly response to a little child asking a question.
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: Because I said so. And because the commandment says, honor
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: your father and your mother. That's all you need to know.
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: Later on in your life, we might have a discussion
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: about something like this. Right now, you just do it.
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: Because I said so. That's not fair. Nope. Not my goal.
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: Keeping you alive. That's my goal. And if I have
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: to be unfair to keep you alive, then I'll be unfair.
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: I don't need you to understand how electricity works. For
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: me to pop your hand every time you try to
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: reach for that plug. Amen? I don't need for you
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: to understand what a car can do to you. To
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: snatch you up when you're on your way to the street. Right?
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: Children of your parents and the Lord. So we start there.
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: And then look at verse 4. Because here's our job. Fathers,
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. What's
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: amazing about this is that the two words that he
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: uses here really correspond to the two halves of the
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: book of Ephesians. You could put it this way. Fathers,
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: do not provoke your children to anger, but teach them
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: to believe like Christians so that they might behave like Christians.
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: That's what it means to bring them up in the
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: discipline and instruction of the Lord. Teach them to believe
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: like Christians so that they might behave like Christians. Indicatives
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: and imperatives. I want to go back and I want
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: to give you an example. I want us to have
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: a little time for questions, but I want to go
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: back and I want to give you an example of
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: kind of the mindset that I'm talking about here. Go
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: to 4. 431. Or just go to 432. And usually
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: what we do is.
• 45:25
  Speaker 2: If you have a family with a lot of kids,
• 45:30
  Speaker 2: it doesn't even have to be a lot of kids,
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: just more than one. Our Christian family, we have more
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: than one kid. We have nine kids, right? And so
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: this Ephesians 4.32 is just, you know, yeah, it's a thing, right?
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: Be kind to one another. All you have to do
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: is have, if you've got more than one kid, if
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: you have more than one kid, you're saying this, right?
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: A lot of kids in your house, you're saying this
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: all the time. Be kind to one another. And then
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: after a while, you're not even saying that. You're just going, ah,
• 46:03
  Speaker 2: Ephesians 4.32. And then they're like, be kind to one another, right?
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: And that's okay. But here's what we want to get to. Remember,
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: we talked about the law is a mirror and a tutor.
• 46:18
  Speaker 2: They don't understand the gospel, but eventually they need to
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: understand the gospel. So be kind to one another. The
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: rest of the verse, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: and Christ forgave you. Notice how there's the imperative and
• 46:37
  Speaker 2: then there's the indicative. What's the indicative? The indicative is
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: the forgiveness that we've received, right? Kindness and tenderheartedness and forgiveness,
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: they are a byproduct of the forgiveness and redemption that
• 46:53
  Speaker 2: we have in the gospel. So there's a process. First,
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: it's just law. Be kind to one another. Be kind
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: to one another. Be kind to one another. Be kind
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: to one another. I know, be kind to one another.
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: Be kind to one another. But eventually we get to
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: that place where we point them to this law and
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: the fact that they're violating the law of God. This
• 47:23
  Speaker 2: unkindness is sin. We're commanded to be kind to one another.
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: But that's not enough. We're commanded to be kind to
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: one another and tenderhearted and to forgive one another as
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: God and Christ also forgave us. See, here's the problem, son, daughter.
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: You are unkind, you're not tenderhearted, and you're unforgiving because
• 47:48
  Speaker 2: you are a sinner who is desperately in need of
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: a savior. You need the forgiveness of Christ. And then
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: we go another step further. So first we've got this
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: little one who just understands the law. We give them
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: the law. It's a mirror and it's a tutor. We
• 48:09
  Speaker 2: bring them to the gospel. They come to receive the gospel.
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: And now we can give them the whole thing. Right?
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: You belong to Christ. You have been forgiven. So you
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: can forgive. You have been forgiven. You must forgive. Be
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: kind to one another. Be tenderhearted. Because that's who you
• 48:36
  Speaker 2: are in Christ. And remember, it's all about Christ's headship
• 48:38
  Speaker 2: over his body, unity in Christ's body, and the glory
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: that the body gives to its head. In this one verse,
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: we see a picture of the progression of parenting or
• 48:51
  Speaker 2: the progression of maturity in Christ. Law, gospel, maturity, right? So, okay.
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: So much more we could say about this, but I
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: wanted us to at least have a little time for
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: some questions, okay? We're supposed to be finished in four minutes.
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: But we started on, you know, a little bit of
• 49:25
  Speaker 2: Hawaii time. Not too much Hawaii time. By the way,
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: everybody has that. Right? We spent the last decade living
• 49:33
  Speaker 2: in Zambia. Right? And they all talk about Zambia time
• 49:36
  Speaker 2: or African time. Right? So, anyway. Okay. Everybody's got it. Well,
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: not everybody. There are some cultures in the world. Anybody
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: ever been to Germany? Everybody ever been to Germany? If
• 49:53
  Speaker 2: they say Germany time, that means if you're on time,
• 49:57
  Speaker 2: you're late.
• 49:58
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 49:59
  Speaker 2: They don't play that late stuff in Germany. Right? So, yeah. Okay.
• 50:10
  Speaker 2: Are there a few questions? Yes?
• 50:12
  Speaker 5: You talk a lot about cultural understanding of words.
• 50:16
  Speaker 4: Can you just address the bottom of 33 that.
• 50:19
  Speaker 5: She respects her husband?
• 50:23
  Speaker 2: That she respects her husband.
• 50:26
  Speaker 4: 533?
• 50:26
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 50:27
  Speaker 4: There's a lot of.
• 50:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah. However, let each one of you... We're at Ephesians 533. However,
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: let each one of you love his wife as himself
• 50:36
  Speaker 2: and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
• 50:39
  Speaker 2: This is just a summary. So in order to understand
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: what he means by that, you just go back to
• 50:47
  Speaker 2: 22 to 24. Right? Because verse 33, he's just summarizing
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: what he said to both parties, right? Which is helpful.
• 51:03
  Speaker 2: It can be helpful, but then you just pointed to
• 51:05
  Speaker 2: one of the ways that it can become unhelpful, and
• 51:10
  Speaker 2: that is if it just becomes shorthand and you don't
• 51:14
  Speaker 2: have the text anymore, and instead all you have is
• 51:18
  Speaker 2: just the shorthand. So now, you know, wife, respect your husband. Well,
• 51:23
  Speaker 2: the cultural understanding of that is this. So this is what,
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: you know, yeah, that's, yeah. So you just, you have
• 51:32
  Speaker 2: to put it, you have to put it in its context.
• 51:34
  Speaker 2: You have to go back to 22 to 24, right?
• 51:36
  Speaker 3: Um, Right, teachers.
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: And so once you've separated the beginning, it's very hard
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: to connect it. Yeah.
• 51:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 51:48
  Speaker 2: You've got to put it together. And then really put
• 51:50
  Speaker 2: it together in the context of the whole thing that
• 51:53
  Speaker 2: we talked about in that first session, right? That just,
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: all of it, you know?
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: Yes, ma'am.
• 52:01
  Speaker 4: It seems to me that evangelicals have been.
• 52:05
  Speaker 5: Behind culturally on a lot of these things, even behind.
• 52:09
  Speaker 4: For instance, the Catholic Church, Amish people, maybe other traditional,
• 52:13
  Speaker 4: you know.
• 52:14
  Speaker 5: Which I feel like is shameful.
• 52:16
  Speaker 4: I wonder if you think that that's true, and if so,
• 52:18
  Speaker 4: what are the lessons we can learn so that we
• 52:20
  Speaker 4: don't get behind on, let's say, abortion and child raising
• 52:23
  Speaker 4: and things like that, where it seems like.
• 52:26
  Speaker 2: What do you mean by behind?
• 52:28
  Speaker 4: Culturally-wise, it seems like we gave a lot of.
• 52:31
  Speaker 3: But nobody's more behind.
• 52:32
  Speaker 2: Than the Amish. Yeah. So you got to explain what
• 52:37
  Speaker 2: you mean by that.
• 52:38
  Speaker 4: Behind in families, in families, behind in terms of ceasing
• 52:42
  Speaker 4: to discipline your children, in terms of not understanding birth.
• 52:45
  Speaker 5: Control, abortion, the things.
• 52:46
  Speaker 2: That were going to come from that.
• 52:48
  Speaker 4: I don't know if you have any reflections, corrections.
• 52:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, a couple of things. In terms
• 52:55
  Speaker 2: of the Amish, the Amish have massive family dysfunction, by
• 52:59
  Speaker 2: the way. Massive levels of sexual abuse, incest, massive levels.
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: So don't be fooled by the Amish for a second.
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: They aren't as negatively influenced by technology, but that's because
• 53:17
  Speaker 2: of their legalistic choice. What they don't separate, though, it's
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: complete hypocrisy, right? Because I will use a horse and buggy,
• 53:28
  Speaker 2: which is technology. I mean, at one point, that was
• 53:31
  Speaker 2: the Cadillac. So they've chosen a particular era in time
• 53:36
  Speaker 2: and said, we are going to arbitrarily and legalistically choose
• 53:40
  Speaker 2: this era and not go beyond that, right? We'll take
• 53:45
  Speaker 2: what was the cutting edge of technology at that point
• 53:49
  Speaker 2: and just say, life has to stop at that point.
• 53:52
  Speaker 2: That's hypocritical, that's legalistic, that's ungodly. But what it does
• 53:59
  Speaker 2: mean is that some of the things that we wrestle
• 54:03
  Speaker 2: with because of technology, they don't wrestle with as early, right?
• 54:10
  Speaker 2: That's not being ahead, not at all. That's not being
• 54:13
  Speaker 2: ahead at all. In terms of Roman Catholicism, you've got
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: to separate the hierarchy, right? Because what Roman Catholicism hides
• 54:27
  Speaker 2: behind is They'll have their hierarchy in Rome make statements
• 54:32
  Speaker 2: about things, right? But, but they don't live like that.
• 54:36
  Speaker 2: Prime example, replacement rate is 2.1 children per woman. Okay. 2.1
• 54:44
  Speaker 2: children per woman. Um, almost all of the developed world
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: is below replacement rate. Um, with the exception of, of Israel, um,
• 54:57
  Speaker 2: Israel is well above replacement rate. But in all of
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: the developed world, you've got below replacement rate. America, below
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: replacement rate. Somewhere around 1.6, 1.7, I think. Point of
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: no return is 1.4. Right? Point of no return is 1.4.
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: Your birth rate goes below 1.4. Your culture will not survive.
• 55:18
  Speaker 2: You've got a few generations, and you will not be
• 55:21
  Speaker 2: the same culture. Lowest birth rates in the world are
• 55:24
  Speaker 2: in South Korea. They're at 0.7. So they're at one
• 55:29
  Speaker 2: half of the point of no return. South Korean culture
• 55:33
  Speaker 2: is dead. It will not survive, right? Almost all of
• 55:39
  Speaker 2: Europe is below replacement rate and below point of no return,
• 55:44
  Speaker 2: including Italy, where everybody's Catholic. So don't buy the lie
• 55:53
  Speaker 2: from Catholicism either. They are not a hit. They have
• 55:56
  Speaker 2: a church, an organization that makes pronouncements, but that's a
• 56:05
  Speaker 2: bunch of unmarried men, right, who are making pronouncements about
• 56:12
  Speaker 2: marriage and child rearing that nobody's listening to, right? So, no,
• 56:20
  Speaker 2: we're not behind those folks. You know, we're more in
• 56:25
  Speaker 2: the trenches, you know, than those folks on these issues.
• 56:31
  Speaker 2: But they're struggling and suffering just like everybody else who
• 56:35
  Speaker 2: is in the world, right? They just have different ways
• 56:42
  Speaker 2: of us seeing them, you know? Yeah.
• 56:51
  Speaker 4: Yes, Brother Brody, Michael Isbert, thank you for coming. We've
• 56:54
  Speaker 4: enjoyed listening to you for long before you went to ZMVF.
• 56:58
  Speaker 4: One of the things I think that would have helped
• 56:59
  Speaker 4: when we were newly married, I'm fully on board with
• 57:03
  Speaker 4: the Bible and what you've taught, but exactly what does
• 57:07
  Speaker 4: submission mean? What does it look like from the wife's perspective?
• 57:11
  Speaker 4: And exactly what does love mean and look like from
• 57:15
  Speaker 4: the husband's perspective? Not for a checklist, but... Just to
• 57:19
  Speaker 4: help identify and give examples.
• 57:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Whatever you say exactly, you're asking for a checklist, right?
• 57:28
  Speaker 2: But that's the thing, we don't have that, right? And
• 57:31
  Speaker 2: there is no singular answer. So, for example, it's principle.
• 57:42
  Speaker 2: So a wife submitting to her husband, her husband is
• 57:45
  Speaker 2: exercising headship. Her husband is the head of The family,
• 57:50
  Speaker 2: that looks very different in different families and different households.
• 57:55
  Speaker 2: In some households, for example, take military, since we talk
• 57:58
  Speaker 2: a lot about military household. In a military family, military
• 58:01
  Speaker 2: wives tend to take ownership of a lot more, especially
• 58:07
  Speaker 2: when there's a deployment or something like that, right? That
• 58:10
  Speaker 2: looks way different than... You know, other families do. But
• 58:16
  Speaker 2: it looks like that because of the husband's calling, profession, right, whatever.
• 58:25
  Speaker 2: It looks like that because of that. And so it's
• 58:29
  Speaker 2: the principle. The principle is that the husband is the
• 58:32
  Speaker 2: head of his wife. We can get in trouble when
• 58:37
  Speaker 2: we say, you know, it has to look like this, that,
• 58:39
  Speaker 2: and the other. I'll give you an example. I'm counseling
• 58:41
  Speaker 2: this couple. True story. His family in our church, they
• 58:44
  Speaker 2: were having marital problems that were stemming from financial problems.
• 58:49
  Speaker 2: I'm sitting with this couple. They're new to our church.
• 58:52
  Speaker 2: And talking about these financial problems that they're having. He's
• 58:55
  Speaker 2: really bad with money. I didn't know this, but she
• 58:59
  Speaker 2: has a finance degree. So when this comes out, I'm going,
• 59:07
  Speaker 2: you know, she shared this as, you know, that's why
• 59:09
  Speaker 2: it bothers her so much. much. One of the reasons
• 59:10
  Speaker 2: it bothers her so much. And I was like, well,
• 59:14
  Speaker 2: why does he handle the money? And they looked at
• 59:18
  Speaker 2: me like, you know, of course, because he's the head
• 59:23
  Speaker 2: of it. And all I did was ask a question.
• 59:26
  Speaker 2: Changed their life. Rarely does this happen. This is one
• 59:31
  Speaker 2: of those moments. I asked, I said, do you think
• 59:35
  Speaker 2: Bill Gates writes checks? And you could almost hear them thinking.
• 59:46
  Speaker 2: And they kind of looked at each other, right? I
• 59:50
  Speaker 2: didn't even have to make the rest of the connection, right?
• 59:53
  Speaker 2: Bill Gates does not write checks, right? He has a
• 59:57
  Speaker 2: chief financial officer. And part of his headship is choosing
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 2: a good chief financial officer and then releasing that person
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 2: to be excellent in their area. You've got a wife
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 2: who needs to be the chief financial officer. And as
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 2: the head, you need to release her to be excellent
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 2: in that area. That does not mean that you're no
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 2: longer the head. See, that's the trouble we run into
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 2: when we're like, okay, give me what it looks like.
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 2: Because somebody gave them what it looks like. Right? Instead
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 2: of the principle. The principle is you have to exercise headship.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 2: Even if you look in the corporate world, the CEO
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 2: of an oil company and the CEO of a tech
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 2: company don't look the same. Right? They don't dress the same.
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 2: It's a completely different deal. But what it is is
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 2: whoever's the head has to recognize what the entity is,
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 2: what the entity's called to, right? And then give leadership
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 2: based on that. And then understand what the gifts and
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 2: abilities are that are at the leader's disposal and put
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 2: people in positions to thrive in using those gifts, right?
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 2: I see that.
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 5: Thank you for being here today. What a blessing. You
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 5: opened up by saying what we're up against as far
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 5: as what the world has to offer. And I heard
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 5: on YouTube you spoke about our public schools having like
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 5: a federal mandate.
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 2: Anti-Christian by federal mandate.
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 5: Yes. And if we can homeschool our children, that's the
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 5: best thing to do. Now, let's say we can't do
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 5: that and our children are in school and they're learning
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 5: these different things. My specific question is, I got a 10-year-old,
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 5: and he's learning things, he's hearing things, and I was
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 5: wondering if you had any advice on how I could
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 5: share with him some of these things, or guide him
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 5: in the way of.
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. My first advice is get him out
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 2: of the government school. Do anything and everything in your
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 2: power to get him out of the government school. Yeah,
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 2: that's the first thing. If you can't, and there are
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 2: Times when we can't, right, for various reasons. If we can't,
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 2: then we have to recognize that our children are being discipled.
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 2: Education is discipleship, all right, and that they don't know
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 2: that they're being discipled. Just be aware that if your
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 2: kid comes home and you ask them, what did you
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 2: learn at school today? Most of them are going to
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 2: say nothing. If they do say something, it'll be maybe
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 2: one thing that stood out among all the things that
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 2: they learned, and they tell you what they learned. Now,
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 2: they may not know that the book that they were
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 2: reading during reading time was actually pointing them towards a
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 2: radical gender ideology. They don't even know to tell you that.
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 2: So guess what you must do? You must find out
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 2: everything that's going on in that school and in that curriculum.
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 2: And guess what? Even then, there will be teachers who
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 2: are teaching outside of that curriculum who are bringing things
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 2: that you still won't know about. So you have to
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 2: be hypervigilant. But at the end of the day, do
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 2: whatever you can to get your children out of that environment. Now,
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 2: I said that, I wrote that in my book, Families
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 2: of Faith. It came out 20 years ago, 2004. And
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 2: it was the most radical thing in the world. I
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 2: was called all kind of names, yada, yada, yada. And
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 2: not even radical anymore. Because what people were dealing with
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 2: in schools 20 years ago pales in comparison to what
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 2: people are dealing with in schools today. And so we
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 2: don't even see that as radical. So, yeah, that's number one.
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 2: But number two is you've got to make yourself aware
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 2: of everything that's being used. Ask for the syllabus. Ask for,
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 2: get the books. Look through the books. Talk about what's,
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 2: you know, happening in special classes and presentations, all this
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 2: sort of stuff. Try to get at and understand the
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 2: philosophy of education with your teachers and stuff like that.
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 2: But just know, too, because there's a whole lot of
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 2: stuff coming out about the fact that there are people
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 2: in the educational arena who see it as their mission
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 2: to undermine people just like you. And there are other
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 2: people who teach them how to talk to you when
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 2: you come so that you don't get alerted. Right? You just,
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 2: you have to know it. You have to be aware
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 2: of it. And you've just got to operate with that
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 2: as your mindset. Yes? My wife and I would like
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 2: to know each other better.
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 4: But we still haven't been able.
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 2: To have kids yet after four years. Yeah.
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 4: I was just wondering, what would your advice be for people.
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 2: That aren't able to have kids? Yeah. Well, a couple things.
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 2: First of all, I appreciate you sharing that and asking that.
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 2: And one of the things that I want to say
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 2: is I think we do a disservice when we don't
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 2: address things like this. When people like yourselves... have to
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 2: end up just sort of suffering in silence, so to speak.
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 2: Because this is something that I'll be dealing with in
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 2: the body. That having been said, a couple of things.
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 2: Number one, I'm assuming that you guys are talking to
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 2: your doctors and getting physicals and doing things like that.
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 2: Do that. But number two, I would encourage you to
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 2: consider the wonderful biblical life-changing, life-giving option of adoption. I would,
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 2: I could not commend it to you more highly. Right? Yeah. It's,
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 2: you know, in the Ordo Salutis, there is justification for Adoption, sanctification, glorification.
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 2: And most people skip adoption into Ordo Salutis. Ordo Salutis,
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 2: four steps, not three. And I can't justify anybody. I
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 2: can't sanctify anybody. I can't glorify anybody. But I can adopt.
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 2: And it is a beautiful, glorious gift in both directions. Right?
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 2: So I would commend that to you highly. Thank you.
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 2: All right, last one.
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 5: God has blessed you tremendously, and we appreciate the gift
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 5: of you to us.
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 4: You've had all these.
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 2: Years of insight and training. If you had to.
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 4: Go back and say the most important lessons I've learned.
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 2: That you can translate, What would they be? First of all,
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 2: he called me old.
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 3: And then he asked as a really old guy what
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 3: would be something that I would.
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 2: Encourage people with. And I think it would be this.
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 2: In all honesty, at the end of the day, the
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 2: things that I have learned in various ways and areas
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 2: that I've learned them, all of them come back to
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 2: marriage and family. All of them come back to the
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 2: wife the Lord has given me, the children the Lord
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 2: has given me. You know, what I've learned about leadership
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 2: and discipleship and mentoring and humility and you know conflict
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 2: resolution I mean like all of that right and what
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 2: that reminds me of is that the Christian life is
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 2: not about the big public things we do I think
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 2: that's what some people miss it you know everybody's trying
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 2: to look for some way to do some big public
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 2: thing so that they can bring some grand service to
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 2: the Lord and For most people, that's not what God
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 2: calls us to. And even the one that God calls to,
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 2: you know, the quote-unquote big grand things or whatever, the
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 2: degree to which those things are fruitful is the degree
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 2: to which they help strengthen and equip people who are
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 2: doing the small, mundane, everyday things that matter. Right? They
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 2: absolutely matter. And that's why there's so many of these
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 2: household code texts. Because this is where the rubber meets
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 2: the road in the Christian life, right? And I've just
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 2: become more and more aware of that, right? Seeing kids
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 2: grow up and get married, seeing grandkids come, it just
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 2: reminds me over and over again that this is where
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 2: the rubber meets the road and this is where it matters.
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 2: the relationships that we have with one another in the family,
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 2: the relationships we have with one another in the church.
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 2: All the stuff beyond that is gravy and extensions of
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 2: those relationships.
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 3: Amen.
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 2: Before we pray and.
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 1: Dismiss, I do have to throw Pastor Phil under the
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 1: bus a little bit here. Because you guys didn't hear
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 1: what was said when Dr. Ellen called Vody old. Pastor
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 1: Phil said, that's the pot calling the kettle black.
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 2: I didn't say it. I didn't say it.
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 1: I didn't even know they were black. I don't recognize
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 1: those things.
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much. Let's pray.
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 1: Father in heaven, we thank you so much for your
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 1: word and how it challenges us. We pray now that
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 1: it would continue to work in our hearts and it
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 1: would change us. Make us like Christ. Make us the husband, wives,
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 1: children that we ought to be. For your glory. for
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 1: the unity of the body of Christ, for the glory
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 1: of his name, by the power of the Spirit, in
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 1: Jesus' name we pray.
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 2: Amen. You're dismissed. Thank you for joining us. We are
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 2: here live 1030 every Sunday morning at Hilo Bereans on
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 2: YouTube and Facebook.