Latest / Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings / Whackhead Prank: Senseless survey – what could happen if you eat too much pizza?

Transcript

Whackhead Prank: Senseless survey – what could happen if you eat too much pizza? · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Are you ready for the Senseless Survey? Throw your guesses
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: right now on our WhatsApp telephone, 0829450940. How many questions
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: will I ask in the Senseless Survey this morning? It
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: is coming up next.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: Uh-oh.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: Here we go.
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: Here we go.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: Here is another Senseless Survey from Darren Wackhead Simpson on
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: KFM Mornings.
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: KFM Mornings. Okay, so we've got a whole bunch of prizes.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: If you are a small business here in the Western
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: Cape and you'd like to give us a prize, well,
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: that would be very kind of you. We'll give you
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: the airtime to match. More so, actually, you just need
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: to pop us an email sometime today. It's mornings at kfm.co.za.
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: It can be anything.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: Whatever it is that you do, we give that away.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: All right, look, we've got so many different things to
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: give away here on the world. I'm not going to
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: go through them now. But let's see. How many questions
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: will I ask this morning on the Senseless Survey?
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: We'll start with you, Sherlyn.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: Ten questions.
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: Ten questions. And Sibs? Twelve questions.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: Twelve.
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: Okay. Ramiz Khan? Thirteen questions. Thirteen. Producer Bray?
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: Six.
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: Six questions.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: Interesting.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: Quick one. Okay. Yeah.
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: Let's see.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: All right, this is where I phone up a random person,
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: ask them ridiculous questions, see how long they can stay
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: on the line for. It's never really that long.
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: Long-ish, kind of.
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: Sometimes they hang on to the line way too long
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: for my liking.
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: What is this chat?
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: Somebody's just guessed 23 questions.
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: Okay, let's see how long this one goes. Good morning, ma'am.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: I'm Agent 31962. I'm calling you from the Census Bureau.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: I just need to ask you a few questions for
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: your country. It won't take more than 10 seconds.
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: Do you realize that pizzeria is what could happen if
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: you eat too much pizza? Yes.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: If you eat too much, you get pizzeria.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: Okay. Ma'am, aren't you glad that you don't have a
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: thigh gap so when you drop your phone on the toilet,
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: it doesn't go into the toilet?
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: Oh, no.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: Do you have a favorite tooth that you brush harder?
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: No.
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: Do you know that nobody wants.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: To hear about your diet, so just shut up, eat
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: your lettuce, and be sad?
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: I agree.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: Would it surprise you to learn that made in China
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: is the most printed English phrase?
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: It's a fact. Yes, big surprise.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: Would you like to meet the guy who saw a
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: turtle and thought, man, people will love the ninja version
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: of that? No. Does it impress you that they can
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: turn floss into a delicious candy and also something to
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: clean your teeth?
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: Quite funny.
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: And truth be.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: Told, I bet you would touch all sorts of weird
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: things with a 10-foot pole.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you never know.
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: When there is no coffee at work, are you a
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: little depresso?
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: No. Sorry.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: I don't drink that much coffee.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: Would you still eat whole grain foods if whole was
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: spelt H-O-L-E?
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: No.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: Does it terrify you that one day you will be
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: as bad with technology as your parents are? No. Did
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: you finally figure out that as a child that the
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: monster noises in the dark were actually your parents having sex? No.
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: Put down.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: What? I don't know. I never slept in my parents' room.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: Oh, she still answered.
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: And then she put down. No, she had time. That
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: last question is very real. Come on, Darren. What are
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: you trying to do? In the middle of the night,
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: did you ever hear... That is Dad on his birthday.
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: That's not right.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: That's our lurgy sound, Darren.
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: Six months.
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: That's the sound we literally use when someone is sick
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: or getting sick.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: Okay, let's see who's going to win this this morning.
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: It's crazy.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: In love from Beyonce here on KFM Mornings. Okay, wheel
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: of joy time. Good morning, Vian.
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: Good morning. How are you, brother? I'm all right, and
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: how are you? I'm very well, thank you.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: Good, good, good. All right, so here we are. How
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: many questions did I ask in this morning's census survey?
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: It was 12. It was 12. That is the correct answer.
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: Well done, sir.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: All right, in the championship rounds, we get to spin
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: the wheel now. I don't actually know how we're going
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: to do this because we're now in another studio temporarily.
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: And the wheel of joy is still in our other studio. Yeah. Okay.
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: Apparently somebody's there. I'm flying blind.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: I'm just going out on a limier and I'm assuming
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: somebody's there by our wheel in our main studio.
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: Okay. How do you want us to spin this? Fast
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: or slow? Left or right?
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: Fast, left.
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: Fast and left. All right. Let's spin it around. Nah,
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: who's stitching me up? That's a fake wheel. Stop it.
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: Where's our real wheel? Guys, we have to work with
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: what we have.
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: Oh, it's being spun in real life, but the sound
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: is fake.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: I know the sound of my wheel.
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: But trust, we did spin the wheel.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: We are not trying to steal your prize, sir.
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: Beloeva.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: Okay, so now I have to pretend and make up
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: a prize that you allegedly landed on.
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: The best prize you can make up.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: Okay, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: going to give you the highest value prize here. Okay,
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: the highest value prize we have. It's actually a joint
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: prize here. So we've got a 3000 Rand voucher from Cubana.
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: That's the foreshore. or the table view.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: That is a lacquer prize. So that's a night out.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: It's a bit of an upscope with the lacquer dinner. Cubana,
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: I'm assuming, most of their money is going to go
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: on drinks, right?
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: Absolutely. Okay, so there's that.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: Or the other prize that is of the same value
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: is the Womanizer Liberty II from Olivia Gray.
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: So two great prizes there. Two good nights out.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: Which one would you like? You can choose, Vian.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: I'll go with the first one.
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: The first one.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: I'm going out.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: I'm glad that you gave that some serious thought. But yeah,
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: that Cubano Voucher is fantastic.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: Enjoy. Thank you, guys. Drinks on you. Drinks on me? Yes,
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: for sure. Where are we going? For sure or table view?
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: Table view.
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: Table View. Table View. Okay. Awesome, man. Have a great tour, Vian.
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: Thank you. Thank you, guys. Pleasure, man. Bye-bye. Pleasure.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: So the door is open if you want to sponsor
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: a prize. Again, mornings at kfm.co.za. You might just be
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: a small business and we'll make you an advert. Well,
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: you're going to.
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: Make yourself an advert, which is what I like the
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: most about it.
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: I want to hear from you. Yeah.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Well worth your while. So here is the ad.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: Thank you very much, Cubana.