Latest / Chatting with The Experts with Paula Okonneh / Empowering Women to Greatness
Transcript
- 0:03Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of Chatting With The Experts
- 0:07TV show hosted by moi Paula Okonneh.
- 0:13Every week I bring to you amazing women from Africa and the Caribbean
- 0:18and also from the Diaspora.
- 0:21And these women share with you such wonderful nuggets so that at the end
- 0:27of the show, you would have learned something new, you would be inspired
- 0:32by what you heard and be encouraged.
- 0:36Today's no exception.
- 0:39So today, I'm going to be talking to an amazing woman.
- 0:44Her name is Olabisi Oshikanlu and she is a Nigerian-Grenadian physician.
- 0:53She's also a John Maxwell leadership coach.
- 0:58And she's going to be inspiring women to greatness in every season of life.
- 1:07I'll tell you a little bit about her.
- 1:10I told you a bit already.
- 1:12That she's a Nigerian-Grenadian physician and John Maxwell leadership coach.
- 1:18And she's also a dynamic and inspiring leader.
- 1:23She's renowned for her multifaceted approach to personal
- 1:29and professional development.
- 1:32And she's also the founder of Full Hands Venture which leverages her diverse
- 1:37roles as a mother, a physician, an entrepreneur, and Maxwell Leadership
- 1:45Certified Speaker and Coach.
- 1:50There's so much to say about her, so why don't I let her
- 1:55tell us more about herself.
- 1:57Welcome, Olabisi, to Chatting with the Experts.
- 2:01Hello, Paula, and to the listening audience, thank you so
- 2:05much for having me here today.
- 2:07It is indeed an honor.
- 2:09Thank you.
- 2:11Looking forward to our discussion.
- 2:13So am I, and I know many others who have heard about you because I've
- 2:19been advertising this, of course.
- 2:20I'm also looking forward to our discussion today.
- 2:23So the title of this episode is to inspire women to greatness
- 2:30in every aspect of their life.
- 2:33Tell us more about that.
- 2:34Why that topic?
- 2:35Tell us more about you before we delve into that topic.
- 2:37Yeah, thank you.
- 2:39Thank you.
- 2:39I'd love to talk a little bit about myself.
- 2:41So as you mentioned, I'm Olabisi Oshikanlu, origin
- 2:44from Nigeria in West Africa.
- 2:46My father is, or was a Nigerian.
- 2:49He's deceased.
- 2:50And my mom is from Grenada and I did live in Grenada for a couple of years.
- 2:54So yay.
- 2:55I'm a woman of faith and I mentioned that and I put that, I lead with that
- 3:00every time I open my mouth to speak because it's really important to me.
- 3:05My faith in Jesus Christ is important.
- 3:07I believe that's why I am where I am today and who I am today.
- 3:12And I've leveraged that to excel in all the things that I've done.
- 3:17I'm a mom of a married adult son.
- 3:20I'm an entrepreneur.
- 3:21I was in private practice.
- 3:24As a pediatrician, I had my own private practice.
- 3:27I own real estate.
- 3:29I'm a physician, as I mentioned earlier, and more than
- 3:33anything, I'm someone of value.
- 3:37I add value to people and I value people.
- 3:39So I act as a cheerleader for people.
- 3:42I'm a John Maxwell certified coach, trainer and speaker.
- 3:46And my passion is to inspire people to unleash their potential and for people
- 3:51who feel that they've reached their potential but are struggling in certain
- 3:54areas, helping them to understand how it is to thrive wherever they are personally
- 4:01and professionally, and helping them to turn their dreams into a reality.
- 4:08Wow.
- 4:09I love that about turning your dreams into a reality.
- 4:14Tell me how you go about that, turning your dreams into a reality, because we're
- 4:17all born with dreams and aspirations, but sometimes they're not fulfilled.
- 4:23So tell me how you inspire women in particular, because we're
- 4:26talking about women, to make their dreams become reality.
- 4:32Yes, that is an awesome question.
- 4:35Growing up in art class, we would be asked to color like a square or
- 4:40circle, and if you strayed outside of the circle or the box, the teacher
- 4:46would say no, color within the box.
- 4:49And that was good then, but now as I think about it as an adult, I
- 4:54realized that that was the beginning of telling people you can't dream.
- 4:59Mm-hmm.
- 4:59Because we all have dreams, but when people keep telling you, you
- 5:03can't do this or don't do that.
- 5:05And I'm not talking about the fact that we shouldn't have boundaries
- 5:08and we shouldn't have rules.
- 5:10But those no's begin to cause people to walk in fear and to squash their dreams.
- 5:19What I do, and what I believe is that everyone has a right to be great
- 5:24and I have come up with an acronym.
- 5:26And I change the acronym all the time.
- 5:28I change it all the time.
- 5:33And the first word in that acronym for great is grow.
- 5:36Hmm
- 5:38Helping people who are aspiring leaders or helping people who are
- 5:44in leadership positions to fly.
- 5:48And when I say fly then first lead yourself.
- 5:53So allowing people to understand that the way to be great and the way
- 5:59is to first of all deal with you.
- 6:02Start with who am I?
- 6:05Who am I?
- 6:07What is my purpose?
- 6:10Because only after you answer that can you move forward as a leader.
- 6:17Because if you have not led yourself or you don't even know who you are,
- 6:22how can you lead other people and how can you influence other people?
- 6:26So true.
- 6:27I like that question.
- 6:29Who are you?
- 6:31Because until you know who you are, you can't lead, as you
- 6:34say, you can't lead out anybody.
- 6:35Because who are you leading when you can't even lead yourself.
- 6:38So I love that.
- 6:40Okay.
- 6:42So how do you inspire people to, or encourage people to find out who they are?
- 6:47Is there a process?
- 6:49Is there, I mean, what would you encourage people to do
- 6:51to find out who they are?
- 6:53I love that too.
- 6:55So when you, first of all, come to the awareness that you have to lead yourself
- 6:59and you're not blaming everybody else or like, oh, I'm this because this person
- 7:04didn't do this or my mother wasn't there.
- 7:06And I watched TV occasionally or on social media, people are blaming their parents
- 7:11for who they are, who they are not.
- 7:13But you have to ask yourself, okay, what is my purpose?
- 7:17Yes.
- 7:18What is my purpose?
- 7:19What is my assignment?
- 7:20Why was I put on this earth?
- 7:22And you mentioned something when we started the show about
- 7:25different seasons in life.
- 7:27And that question is a question we have to ask ourselves in every season, because
- 7:32with the seasons, just as the seasons change, things are going to change.
- 7:38But that fundamental question, what is my purpose?
- 7:43is something that doesn't change.
- 7:45So what is my purpose?
- 7:46Miles Monroe, excuse me, a blessed memory used to always say, if
- 7:51you don't know the purpose of a thing, then abuse is inevitable.
- 7:55Yes.
- 7:57And abuse is an the abnormal use, and it applies to us to,
- 8:01it applies to us as individuals.
- 8:03It applies to us when we're leading teams.
- 8:07So when you say, okay, what is my purpose?
- 8:09You begin to think about what are your skills and what are your values?
- 8:14And your skills could be, do I have leadership skills?
- 8:17Do I have problem solving skills?
- 8:20Do I have time management skills?
- 8:22Am I an effective communicator?
- 8:25I've tapped into that and that's why I'm doing what I do.
- 8:28So like I'm here, I'm a physician, I'm an entrepreneur.
- 8:31Now I speak, I coach, I train.
- 8:34That's because I asked myself those questions.
- 8:36People kept telling me you're good at speaking, you're good at inspiring people.
- 8:41So I understand that my skill set, one of my skill sets is effective communication
- 8:47and inspiring people and organization.
- 8:51And then when you talk about your skills, what are your values?
- 8:55Because your skills will get you to the top, but they won't keep you at the top.
- 8:59So true.
- 9:01Values.
- 9:03I feel like saying amen, but your values, and your skills would get
- 9:09you to the top and keep you there.
- 9:11And what are your values?
- 9:12Things like courage, being authentic, showing up as the real person, not
- 9:19being A today and B tomorrow, self awareness, humility, courage, compassion.
- 9:32Compassion is a big part, a big thing, especially as you mentioned
- 9:37earlier, you're a woman of faith and as I'm a woman of faith as well.
- 9:42And as a woman of faith, you know, where compassion comes in is when we realize
- 9:47that we're reflecting who God is, who Christ is, because you can have all
- 9:54these other skills and all these values, and I know I'm focusing on compassion,
- 9:59but when you don't have compassion, you can't even see beyond the person's
- 10:02pain, that there's a person there.
- 10:06Exactly.
- 10:07John Maxwell, who's my mentor.
- 10:09I'm a John Maxwell certified coach, talks about the five levels of leadership.
- 10:14Again, leadership is influence.
- 10:16And the first level is position.
- 10:19And when we look at what we're even talking about today, about being
- 10:22great and walking in one's weakness, knowing who you are is the first step.
- 10:27And it's just like, okay, so I know my position, right?
- 10:30My first level, he doesn't put it in that But I'm framing it
- 10:34this way for this conversation.
- 10:36And then when you think about compassion, the next level of leadership
- 10:40is the relationship, people phase.
- 10:45So, compassion, you cannot lead if you're not compassionate.
- 10:53If you don't have a relationship with the people around you, if the
- 10:56people around you can't relate to you.
- 10:58I heard someone on a podcast a couple of days ago, say
- 11:02something and really blessed me.
- 11:04And this is what he said.
- 11:05He said, a lot of times we hire people and we're wanting them to give us their hands.
- 11:13But what we have to do is key into their thoughts.
- 11:18When you key into their heart, the compassion, the empathy, the empowerment.
- 11:23Then you work on their mind because that works on their mind.
- 11:26So their mindset shifts and they don't look at what they're
- 11:29doing for you as a job anymore.
- 11:32They look at it from the heart position.
- 11:34This is mine.
- 11:34They're stakeholders and they take ownership and then
- 11:37they give you their hand.
- 11:42And so that's what compassion does.
- 11:44And I can see, I can understand why, you know, that when you heard it, it
- 11:49meant so much to you because a lot of organizations are realizing that
- 11:55their workers, their employees are more than just, as you said, the hands.
- 11:59They're not just machines in other words, and I'll come to that later,
- 12:04but they're individuals with feelings and you know, if you've got a healthy
- 12:11employee, most likely it's going to affect your bottom line because you're
- 12:16going to have someone who's not just here to do the work, but they're here to do
- 12:20the work because they realize that it's empowering them and empowering others.
- 12:25So, yeah.
- 12:27Exactly.
- 12:28So they come because they have a want to not because they have to.
- 12:33Yes.
- 12:34And as you mentioned, most organizations prior to this, a couple of years ago,
- 12:39organizations felt that the things that we're talking about, the compassion and
- 12:44the empathy that they were fufu, there were not things to be reckoned with.
- 12:50But as you mentioned, these things affect your bottom line.
- 12:54I'll give you an example, a personal example.
- 12:56I work for a managed care organization of fortune 700 is
- 12:59what they call the organization.
- 13:01I can't call their name online because it's not related to work.
- 13:05Now, and I have a boss, my senior medical director, who is retired
- 13:10now, influenced me tremendously.
- 13:13He was kind.
- 13:15He was smart.
- 13:17He was compassionate.
- 13:20And when I first got to the job, I did the job because I was there
- 13:24to, you know, wanted my paycheck and I wanted to do the work.
- 13:27But later on, I would stay past closing to do the work.
- 13:34I would double up on work because I just loved this man, not a male,
- 13:40female lover, that type of love, but I love what he represented and
- 13:45how he managed us and his teams.
- 13:48Our team performed consistently well.
- 13:52Our bottom line was good.
- 13:55The ROI on our team for our team was great.
- 13:59So it affects every aspect of not just our personal life.
- 14:04Personally, I was also happy because you spend eight hours of your day
- 14:08on a job, so you wanna be happy.
- 14:10And so being great encompasses all these things.
- 14:14We cannot really compartmentalize our lives.
- 14:16I
- 14:18love that example.
- 14:20And I love the fact that you, you know, you personalized it because
- 14:24it shows, I mean, even I met you, I know you, and the BC I saw, there
- 14:30was a change, noticeable change.
- 14:32Thanks for explaining.
- 14:33Part of the reason that I saw that
- 14:37right.
- 14:38We're talking about G the acronym GREAT, but we were on
- 14:42the letter G, which is Grow.
- 14:44And you told us so much.
- 14:46Is there anything extra, anything more that you could share about the growth?
- 14:50Yeah there's more, but let me still talk.
- 14:52Let me stay on G before I move to R.
- 14:55Okay.
- 14:55So with a G because we want also, I'd love for your audience to
- 14:59leave here with actionable items.
- 15:02Mm-hmm.
- 15:03Having the skill set is important.
- 15:05Having the values is important.
- 15:07You can't do one without the other.
- 15:09They're both important as we've determined.
- 15:10So your character and your skill sets, that's what people want in life from you.
- 15:14That's what your employer wants.
- 15:17But also having a plan.
- 15:19So how do you do this?
- 15:20Coming up with a plan.
- 15:21Predetermine the need once you know your purpose.
- 15:23Okay, so what's the need?
- 15:24What's the need in my personal life?
- 15:26What's the need on my job?
- 15:28So predetermining the need, laying out your goals.
- 15:35I always tell people begin with the end in mind.
- 15:38Where am I going?
- 15:39What is my wish?
- 15:41What is the opportunity that all these things present?
- 15:45We're doing what we do because it's the opportunities, whether in life,
- 15:49whether with our children, whether whatever it is, what's the opportunity,
- 15:52what's the obstacle, what are the obstacles in the way, what's hindering
- 15:55me from, and then coming up with a plan.
- 15:58Okay.
- 15:58So this is what I'm going to do.
- 16:00And if you need to make adjustments, you'll make adjustments and it eliminates
- 16:04worry about my status or the status of things, or, and it helps me to
- 16:12move along that ladder of position to people to results, you know, to getting
- 16:19results, because then when you're sure of who you are and you know who you are.
- 16:24Then if your boss comes with something or things change in
- 16:27life, you have that confidence and that courage to move forward.
- 16:33And then I'll go to the R.
- 16:34No.
- 16:35If there's more, please tell us more.
- 16:37I mean, anything else.
- 16:39Oh, great.
- 16:39We're talking about the acronym, GREAT.
- 16:41Like I said, I change it all the time.
- 16:46So the R is just restarting and resetting and refocusing and
- 16:52you know me personally my life.
- 16:54Oh my God, and for immigrants, especially since we're talking to immigrants.
- 16:58I grew up in Nigeria.
- 17:00I was born somewhere else grew up in Nigeria, moved to Grenada and then
- 17:08lived and now I currently live in the U.
- 17:11S.
- 17:12and I've lived in so many different states.
- 17:14And what that has done in the different seasons in my life, I
- 17:17have had to hit the reset button.
- 17:21Oh my God, have I had to hit the reset button.
- 17:23I've had to refocus.
- 17:25I've had to start from the beginning.
- 17:27When I left Nigeria, I had graduated as a medical doctor.
- 17:33When I got to Grenada.
- 17:35I was taking this exam so I could be certified in the United States to work
- 17:40as a resident, to study as a resident.
- 17:43It was a restart and it was humbling.
- 17:45I had to move.
- 17:45I moved from having my own home to living with my grandmother
- 17:50in one room in the house there.
- 17:53But I again, begin with the end in mind.
- 17:57I knew where I was going.
- 17:58I wanted to do residency.
- 18:00I wanted to be able to raise my then three year old, now 38 year old son.
- 18:09You know him, right?
- 18:10I wanted to do all those things.
- 18:12So I had to keep hitting refocus, and reset.
- 18:17And that for women, that's very important.
- 18:19When I have people who are listening today who have gone through a divorce,
- 18:26have probably some type of illness, some type of loss that is causing them to
- 18:32say, Oh my God, what am I going to do?
- 18:36Like they'll say, what am I going to do?
- 18:39What am I going to do?
- 18:40But I'm here to tell you that, or on a job, you lost your job or you're
- 18:45in a job and you're struggling.
- 18:48There's always an answer and it's really just about refreshing our
- 18:54mindset and regaining focus and being able to embrace new beginnings and
- 19:01seeing fresh starts as opportunities.
- 19:03I have a coach and he says no is next opportunity.
- 19:09No is next opportunity.
- 19:13So no, it's not a no.
- 19:15No is not a failure.
- 19:17No, it's just one next opportunity.
- 19:19Next opportunity.
- 19:21'Cause I've also...
- 19:22someone on my show also talked about FAIL, which is First Attempt In Learning.
- 19:28So I've learned something new today from you.
- 19:30No is next opportunity.
- 19:33Wow.
- 19:34Yes, I love it.
- 19:35Okay.
- 19:38And then the E, we've talked about it already.
- 19:41It's to be energized and to empower.
- 19:45Again remember, I said that we're people of value.
- 19:48I say that to myself all the time.
- 19:50I'm a person of value.
- 19:52I value people and I add back to people and I want to say something.
- 19:57Joyce Meyer always says hurting people hurt people.
- 20:02Mm-hmm.
- 20:02And a lot of times I've found, even on our jobs, that person who is being
- 20:08mean is not trying to devalue you.
- 20:14They feel devalued or not valued.
- 20:19So that's why you're getting the pushback and might not necessarily always be
- 20:24the case, but being able to just step back and say, what's going on here?
- 20:31And giving that person grace.
- 20:33Nourishing yourself and nourishing that other person, leaning into your
- 20:38strengths and looking at areas where the people are weak to say, okay, I'm
- 20:44strong at this, I will help them do this.
- 20:48Or if you're leading a team, getting people together who have
- 20:53different strengths and allowing people to have a voice to feel safe.
- 20:59There's a buzzword now, psychological safety, allow people to feel safe
- 21:05to, to speak and to give feedback.
- 21:09And so that's important.
- 21:10And as a physician, I'm going to give this prescription, I like giving
- 21:13prescriptions wherever I go now.
- 21:15As a physician, I'm going to give a prescription and it's taking care of your
- 21:19mental, physical and emotional health.
- 21:22Very important, especially for us as women.
- 21:25Yes, absolutely.
- 21:27I am so happy that we live in an era now, a time now where mental
- 21:31health doesn't carry as much stigma as it did some years ago.
- 21:35And people are beginning to equate the importance with physical health,
- 21:39you know, for a long time, they weren't on par, they were, you know,
- 21:44one was elevated above the other.
- 21:46So if you had diabetes and you went to the doctor and you were treated for
- 21:50that, you're a physician, so you know more about that than I do, you will be
- 21:55treated differently than if I was, you know, battling depression or, you know,
- 22:00just saying, I'm just not feeling okay.
- 22:01And I couldn't pinpoint it.
- 22:03They're like, you know, something's wrong with her.
- 22:05The person who had the physical ailment was regarded as being, you know not
- 22:13more sick, but there was a difference.
- 22:16that society gave to the person who was physically ill than to
- 22:20the one who was mentally ill.
- 22:21And they're both very important.
- 22:23They are.
- 22:24And that is so true.
- 22:26And that's why I think it's important for us to speak up as women leaders or
- 22:31people who are on the front lines, who are visible on radio, on TV, on social media.
- 22:38To speak about mental health and to be vulnerable and
- 22:43open about our own struggles.
- 22:45I'm not ashamed to tell people that I have struggled with
- 22:50fear, that still do sometimes.
- 22:54I have struggled with anxiety.
- 22:56I have struggled with imposter syndrome.
- 23:00I'm better now, imposter syndrome where I would feel as if, okay, why am I here?
- 23:05I can't do this.
- 23:07I wouldn't raise my hands for opportunities.
- 23:10So if somebody pushed an opportunity, put an opportunity in front of me, I would
- 23:13not take the promotion of the opportunity.
- 23:16And this was after I'd owned my own private practice and had done
- 23:20major things, but because I was in a different same field, but different
- 23:25industry, I didn't feel secure.
- 23:29So it's important to have mentors.
- 23:32First of all discuss this mental health issues.
- 23:35Not be ashamed, get help if you need help, therapy, whatever it takes, medication,
- 23:39if you need to be on medication, and a lot of employers in the U.
- 23:45S.
- 23:46have employee assistance program, I think is what it's called, EAP, where if
- 23:52you're having challenges, mental health challenges, you can go and you'll get
- 23:57some free counseling or therapy sessions.
- 24:01So there's a lot of this, there are a lot of resources out there that I can
- 24:07share with you later on to right here in the States or even online that we
- 24:12can share with your listening audience.
- 24:14So yeah, mental, physical and emotional health is really important.
- 24:19I'd love for you to...
- 24:21sorry, go ahead.
- 24:23No, that's good.
- 24:24No, I was saying I'd love for you to share some of those resources.
- 24:27I mean, this is a good place people are listening in and for those who probably
- 24:32listen later on the resources live online for a long time, and some people
- 24:38are not as open to being vulnerable.
- 24:42So, if it is possible for you to share right now, and
- 24:45not be put in the show notes.
- 24:48Yeah.
- 24:48There's an association called NAMI, if you want to Google it, I can't
- 24:52remember the acronym, but National Association for Mental Health, I
- 24:57think it's, but it's called NAMI, N A M I, and if you go on that website.
- 25:02There's lots of resources for people who are dealing with depression
- 25:09resources, not only for the person for the individual, but for caretakers,
- 25:16because a lot of times to forget that the caretakers carry a lot of the burden
- 25:21and they're under a lot of pressure.
- 25:22So that would be a good site to go to.
- 25:27Thank you so much for sharing.
- 25:28There's something else you touched on before you go on to the next letter that
- 25:32you talked about giving grace to people.
- 25:37Can you elaborate on that?
- 25:38Because that's becoming a word I'm hearing often, but people have
- 25:43different ways of looking at it.
- 25:46And again, because we are Christians, grace means something else to us.
- 25:50So how can we as employers give grace to others or as an employee receive the
- 25:57grace because, you know, some people don't even know how to receive grace.
- 26:05I think a big thing and this just coming to my mind, is the golden rule.
- 26:11Do unto others as you want them to do unto you.
- 26:14And I really believe that if you, if we follow that foundational
- 26:18rule, and I believe that rule is not just in Christianity, but
- 26:22in religions across the board.
- 26:25And I don't know much about other religious, but it's just a basic
- 26:29human rule do unto others what you want others to do unto you.
- 26:33That's what I call grace.
- 26:35Even with my employer being able to say, okay, and I do this a lot.
- 26:40I'm at the ground level.
- 26:42I look at it as ground level, mid level, and then the pinnacle.
- 26:46I'm at the ground level.
- 26:48So I can't see like an eagle.
- 26:50An eagle can see what's going on from above.
- 26:55But when you're at the ground level, you can only see what's in front of you.
- 27:00Actually, you told somebody this yesterday.
- 27:02I'm so pumped that we're talking about this.
- 27:03I actually told somebody this yesterday.
- 27:05She was complaining about her boss, complaining about the organization,
- 27:09complaining about everything.
- 27:10And I said to her, well, you don't know what is happening to
- 27:14this person behind closed doors.
- 27:16She can't defend you because this is coming from above and there's
- 27:19a lot of pressure right now, so that's what's filtering down.
- 27:22So just giving people grace, putting yourself in other, the
- 27:25other person's shoes and vice versa as the leader or who's given
- 27:31the feedback and as the receiver.
- 27:35I think it's just a two way street.
- 27:36I think if we just follow that rule, things will work out better.
- 27:43Because then you're saying, okay, like this lady yesterday, we were
- 27:47able to say, okay, yes, now that she's become the boss, she's doing this
- 27:51and this and such and such and such.
- 27:52And when she was with us, she wasn't doing that, but things have changed.
- 27:58She has other people she's reporting to.
- 28:00There's a lot of pressure because of finances.
- 28:03So maybe if I'm nice to her, I'll ask them, how's your day going?
- 28:07What's going on?
- 28:08What's going on with you?
- 28:09We'll see that she's under a lot of pressure as well.
- 28:11She's nervous about this new role.
- 28:13She's just learning this new role.
- 28:17Does that make sense?
- 28:18Makes a lot of sense.
- 28:19Another thing I've learned along this journey of life is also to
- 28:27meet people where they are, you know, yes, do unto others as
- 28:31you'd like them to do unto you.
- 28:33Yes.
- 28:34But also Do unto others as they will like to be done unto.
- 28:38What does this person like?
- 28:39How can I avoid doing the things that irritate or annoy or, you know,
- 28:43in some way doesn't go with their personality and to love them that way,
- 28:50you know, that's been helpful to me.
- 28:52Yes, it does.
- 28:54It does.
- 28:55Dale Carnegie in his book says, do not criticize, complain, or condemn.
- 29:01And I've been saying that I actually saw somebody post that on
- 29:04Facebook the other day too and I was like, yeah, that's my mantra.
- 29:07Do not...
- 29:08it's hard.
- 29:09Oh Paula, it is really hard, but we just have to keep working.
- 29:14Yes.
- 29:15Okay.
- 29:16You got me really pumped up.
- 29:18We've done G, we've done R, we've done E.
- 29:21What's A about?
- 29:22So A is being agile or flexible.
- 29:26It means that so when you're agile, it means you're able to change like
- 29:32a chameleon, but continually improve staying flexible, adapting to changes.
- 29:39If you're on a job, how do you know that things change nowadays that
- 29:43so many things are changing the Instagram computer, being able to
- 29:48say, Okay, I need this for this job.
- 29:51I need this for this assignment.
- 29:54Being able to look at data to improve performance, if you're in an industry.
- 29:59Receiving and giving feedback like we just talked about.
- 30:02Being able to give positive feedback and being able to receive feedback
- 30:07that goes back to the psychological safe space that we're talking about.
- 30:10Yes.
- 30:11If you're not able to receive feedback, then you're not
- 30:15going to be able to get better.
- 30:16One of the things that I do after I've spoken somewhere or I've
- 30:21coached somebody, tell me, people usually want to tell me what worked.
- 30:24I say to them, tell me what didn't work.
- 30:27Before I couldn't do that.
- 30:28This is something new for me.
- 30:31Now, I'm able to say that, and sometimes it'll pinch me a little bit, as you
- 30:35say, Nigeria, it'll pinch me, you know, but I, which means it hurts me a little
- 30:40bit when they tell me the truth about me, but it's helped me to foster and to
- 30:47create a culture of continuous learning.
- 30:50So I'm growing, and I'm getting greater and greater and greater.
- 30:58And then being able to embrace stretch assignments, stretch assignments are those
- 31:03assignments where you may be somewhere like when I first started talking on
- 31:10shows and on the radio, it was a stretch assignment for me, because I was afraid
- 31:16to stand, sit in front of the camera.
- 31:19I didn't know what to do.
- 31:21Now I find that my heart doesn't beat so fast.
- 31:23Yes.
- 31:24It still beats, but it doesn't beat so fast.
- 31:27So I'm getting better and better.
- 31:29So the people that we call superstars at one point in time were people who were
- 31:37rookies, but we see them as superstars now because they've practiced and practiced
- 31:43and practiced and they've been agile and they've been flexible and like,
- 31:48you know, like the, I forgot what they call it in here in America the, we call
- 31:52it plasticine when we're growing up.
- 31:55That dough.
- 31:56Play dough.
- 31:57Isn't it?
- 31:57Play dough.
- 31:58So you can see all the African and West Indian audience.
- 32:01My African is coming out.
- 32:03Play Dough.
- 32:05I know what you mean.
- 32:06Being like Play Doh, we still have our core values, right?
- 32:11We talked about earlier.
- 32:12We still have our core values.
- 32:13Our core values don't change.
- 32:16That's why it's important to have that core value at the start.
- 32:18We still have our core values.
- 32:22Sometimes the methods and the things we need to do for change, but our core value.
- 32:26So if somebody comes, tell me to lie.
- 32:28I'm not going to lie.
- 32:30But if there's a way to do a certain project that will make it faster
- 32:33and better, and will increase our return on investment then I'll do it.
- 32:40But I'm not going to change my core value of integrity.
- 32:43So embracing those stretch assignments and creating a culture of continuous learning.
- 32:48So being agile is the A.
- 32:51And then the T is tenacity.
- 32:56Tenacity.
- 32:59Tenacity just like a dog with a bone.
- 33:02I'm not giving up quitting is not an option.
- 33:09Now can put an option when you have that core value and you know who you
- 33:13are, you know you're holding on because you believe in yourself you believe in,
- 33:17you know, the purpose and you know what your purpose is and so you holding on
- 33:23because you plan on accomplishing it.
- 33:26Exactly.
- 33:27And you believe in the God who put that purpose in you.
- 33:30Yes.
- 33:31So, for me, I will say, I can do all things through Christ.
- 33:35Amen.
- 33:35And I'm holding on for dear life, and I'm like, oh, I can
- 33:40do all things through Christ.
- 33:42Can I share a quick story?
- 33:44Yes, we do have time for that.
- 33:46So when I...
- 33:49talking about being great as you know, I got divorced a couple of...
- 33:55years ago, I think probably about 20 years ago now, even 25.
- 33:59And at the time, I remember I had moved from Nigeria to Grenada and divorce in
- 34:06our culture is not looked on, you know, I had a big F on my head, F for failure.
- 34:13I remember, I would say there was a scripture that I would read all
- 34:17the time, where it says, I will restore all the years that the
- 34:21locusts and the cancer had stolen.
- 34:23I remember I would say it over and over again.
- 34:26Oh my God, how could I ever do, how could you restore all those lost years and
- 34:31all the things that I've left behind my family people, things having to start
- 34:37all over again, restarting, refocusing.
- 34:40It looked impossible.
- 34:42It really looked impossible, but it was that having that grit, having knowing
- 34:49purpose, having people around me just embracing failure as an opportunity.
- 34:56As a next opportunity.
- 34:58Celebrating the little successes that I had and being thankful
- 35:02for the things that I had.
- 35:03Being thankful for someone like you, who as a friend would come over and drive
- 35:07me around the island and encourage me.
- 35:10And in every season of my life, that's my divorce that I talked about but.
- 35:15In every season of my life, even at the time of success, even when
- 35:19I had my private practice and even now, there have been times when I've
- 35:23wanted to give up, but going back to that place to say, I'm not giving up.
- 35:30I almost want to cry just talking about this.
- 35:34But I'm not giving up.
- 35:35I'm holding on and for your listening audience, don't give up.
- 35:39Don't give up on life.
- 35:40Don't give up on your dreams.
- 35:42Don't give up on where you're going because there is a plan.
- 35:46There is a purpose and you are a person of value and the people around.
- 35:51Tenacity also speaks to community because a lot of times you want to do
- 35:55life alone, but you can't do life alone.
- 35:58We all need that tribe.
- 36:00We all need that community.
- 36:02And being alone and I'm talking about being alone, not having a man being
- 36:08alone where you're not having people share with you or help you carry
- 36:13the load is a recipe for disaster.
- 36:16Yes.
- 36:17The recipe for disaster,
- 36:20Olabisi, I want to thank you for sharing that story.
- 36:22I've known you.
- 36:24But I also want to say that you sharing that story, I think is an example of
- 36:30many times when you see people, you don't always know what's happening in their
- 36:34lives, because anyone seeing you in those years, always saw a bright smiling face.
- 36:40And they didn't know that you were struggling with fear.
- 36:43You're struggling with, you know, self doubt.
- 36:46You're struggling with feeling that you are a failure.
- 36:49They wouldn't know that.
- 36:51And that's it.
- 36:51And look at you today.
- 36:53Another thing I want to say to my listening audience is that as Christians,
- 36:58We sometimes go through tough times.
- 37:01I believe firmly that God allows these tough times for a purpose so
- 37:05that when we do emerge, people can see, Oh, the hand of God was upon
- 37:11him or her, and they can learn.
- 37:13And sometimes just seeing you emerge and give them hope.
- 37:17He allows things for a reason.
- 37:20I wouldn't have known you if I hadn't stopped briefly to attend your wedding.
- 37:25Or I wouldn't have known you two if I hadn't been in Grenada at that time,
- 37:30and our friendship has continued through all these years, through the ups and
- 37:34the downs, and I've always admired you.
- 37:37And so your life story and your life has been a testimony to me too.
- 37:44So thank you for sharing that story.
- 37:46Thank you.
- 37:47And thank you for being my friend and for being in there for me
- 37:50at my most vulnerable moments.
- 37:52And I pray that everyone has a friend like you.
- 37:55Awww,
- 37:56now you want to make me cry.
- 37:58Don't cry.
- 38:03And so because this is a show in which we encourage women to listen in
- 38:07and they learn and get inspired and educated, and you've done all three.
- 38:13Let me see, where can people find you online if they just want to
- 38:16connect with you or talk with you?
- 38:20I can be reached at Full Hands Ventures.
- 38:26So the email address is Full hands, F U L L H A N D S V@gmail.com.
- 38:35My Instagram handle is Olabisi.
- 38:37OLABISI_OSH
- 38:40. I'm on Facebook
- 38:46and I'm also on LinkedIn, as Olabisi Oshikanlu, MD.
- 38:52MBA, CP, has all those long degrees that I have behind my name.
- 38:56But if you put in MD, you'll get me because there, there
- 39:00is another who's a doctor.
- 39:03Ah, okay.
- 39:06My sister in law.
- 39:06Okay.
- 39:08Oh, look at that.
- 39:10Look at that.
- 39:11All right.
- 39:12And for those of you who have listened to this show and been inspired, and if
- 39:17you would like to be chatting with the expert, you can reach out to me on my
- 39:21website which is chattingwiththeexperts.
- 39:24com.
- 39:25You can also reach me on LinkedIn.
- 39:28I love being on LinkedIn.
- 39:29Just look for Paula Okonneh there.
- 39:32I'm on Instagram and my handle there is at chat_experts_podcast, and I'm on Facebook.
- 39:44Again, look for Paula Okonneh there.
- 39:47Olabisi, thank you so much.
- 39:50Thank you for having me.
- 39:53Thanks to the listening audience as well.
- 39:55You've blessed me.
- 39:56You've blessed others as well.
- 39:58Thank you.