Latest / Love You Moore with Willie Moore Jr. / “I Saw That I Was the Only One Fighting” | Pastor Mo Momon on Divorce and Faith

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“I Saw That I Was the Only One Fighting” | Pastor Mo Momon on Divorce and Faith · Love You Moore with Willie Moore Jr.

0:00
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0:19
[SPEAKER_02]: Bleed out.
0:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Next on the love of your moisture.
0:21
[SPEAKER_01]: I fought and fought and fought until I saw that I was the only one fight.
0:25
[SPEAKER_02]: These are the pastoral victory midtown and Atlanta Georgia pastoral.
0:29
[SPEAKER_01]: Malk going through that type of deep portrayal.
0:32
[SPEAKER_01]: When you go through something like that, it really pulls out who you really are at the core.
0:36
[SPEAKER_01]: I was trained in VIP security.
0:38
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm a purple belt and jujitsu.
0:41
[SPEAKER_01]: And you can pop off.
0:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Really easy.
0:43
[SPEAKER_01]: So, you know, I'm very patient until I'm not.
0:45
[SPEAKER_01]: You are really trust God or not.
0:46
[SPEAKER_01]: Daily decisions to say, I'm not going to pop off.
0:48
[SPEAKER_01]: off right now.
0:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Daily, it's used to be a fault for your mare.
0:50
[SPEAKER_01]: But internally, a switch, just flip, we're going to have to make some decisions and go ahead and end this.
0:56
[SPEAKER_02]: What was the church response to you making such a strong decision?
1:02
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey family, Willie Mojoon, you're here.
1:04
[SPEAKER_02]: Welcome to another edition of the Love You More Show.
1:07
[SPEAKER_02]: Family, I'm grateful for the opportunity today to hang out with an amazing human, okay?
1:12
[SPEAKER_02]: A lot of times I give titles and backstories and all of that, but he's just an amazing human.
1:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Of course, he's the pastor of Victory Midtown in Atlanta, Georgia, and a really great brother.
1:22
[SPEAKER_02]: I had the esteemed privilege of meeting him years and years ago when he was serving one of the most amazing pastors of our time, Bishop Eddie Long.
1:31
[SPEAKER_02]: And I recently said on an amazing podcast what I did brother LaCray on his deep in podcast and I was so grateful to reunite with my brother Pastor Moe.
1:42
[SPEAKER_02]: He's hanging out with me today.
1:43
[SPEAKER_02]: What's going on, Chad?
1:44
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm good.
1:44
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm good.
1:45
[SPEAKER_01]: It's been a good day.
1:46
[SPEAKER_01]: Look forward to even a greater day with you.
1:48
[SPEAKER_02]: Man, indeed, you know, I want to jump right into it, man.
1:51
[SPEAKER_02]: So I was on the La Cray podcast and number one, I didn't know you had ever went through any type of divorce.
1:58
[SPEAKER_02]: So the Cray wants to, to those of you didn't see it, make sure you go check it out.
2:02
[SPEAKER_02]: I put it in the show notes.
2:04
[SPEAKER_02]: He says four people down and like we're all called on called the divorce.
2:08
[SPEAKER_02]: I see Pastor Moe.
2:09
[SPEAKER_02]: Now I know Pastor Moe from years and years back, I've only known Pastor Moe and his wife.
2:14
[SPEAKER_02]: I was like, hey, hey, hey, y'all.
2:16
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I think past is there to make sure we don't get to ratchet on the show because his position is always discipline whether it's working out or you know just Bible basics and making sure that we start true to the Bible.
2:29
[SPEAKER_02]: He says I was the voice I was like
2:32
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know when I'm gonna tell him, I didn't know any of that.
2:34
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I wanted to bring you on the show that almost continued the conversation because I know it was for people on that particular panel.
2:40
[SPEAKER_02]: It was one part in particular where you talked about, you know, your former wife, first time you had ever said anything because of course she's going on to Gloria and I'd respect for her.
2:49
[SPEAKER_02]: You'd never said anything about what really happened.
2:52
[SPEAKER_02]: But you talked about her betraying you with somebody inside the church and you did not leave the church.
2:58
[SPEAKER_02]: And those people right now can see your arms,
3:00
[SPEAKER_02]: You can kind of look in your position and know that you can probably thrash somebody if you have to.
3:05
[SPEAKER_02]: How does a person stay disciplined and humble when they are faced with betrayal and their marriage by somebody in the church?
3:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, man, that's loaded and I think it's loaded on so many levels because I think one of the things that I said on the craze podcast was, in that time going through that type of deep betrayal, when you go through something like that, it really pulls out who you really are at the core.
3:32
[SPEAKER_01]: And in that moment, I remember it was the first time where I saw myself start in a stretch to some extremes of even being tempted to come out of character.
3:43
[SPEAKER_01]: Again, I was trained in VIP security.
3:46
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm a purple belt and jujitsu.
3:48
[SPEAKER_01]: I've done what we tie all the things, and you can pop off real easy.
3:53
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I'm very patient until I'm not.
3:56
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, but when you have to actually respond and understand the bigger picture, I think to answer your question, I wasn't a moment where I really had to say, do I really trust God or not?
4:08
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
4:09
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's easy to say you trust God when everything is good.
4:12
[SPEAKER_01]: It's easy to say you trust God when the marriage looks good, when the kids are great, when the job is good.
4:18
[SPEAKER_01]: But when you get actually faced with something that makes you make a decision, that's where you really see the fruit.
4:22
[SPEAKER_01]: And so, in that time, I remember having to exercise extreme restraint.
4:26
[SPEAKER_01]: It was the first time I started carrying a pistol for real, because I've told everybody, I'm not a person that just condones divorce just, you know, because oh, I don't like you anymore.
4:34
[SPEAKER_02]: Of course.
4:35
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, that was a situation that happened because I literally felt like my life was in danger because of the decision she was making at the time and then even what I started to find out.
4:45
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I basically say, I want to make sure to my testimonials to the Lord.
4:48
[SPEAKER_01]: I love God more than I want to actually really try to protect my own self-image.
4:56
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's the core.
4:57
[SPEAKER_01]: I love God enough to say, hey, I really trust you in this.
5:01
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm going to keep seeking you because I really believe that you are the Redeemer.
5:05
[SPEAKER_01]: You're not a convenient God to me.
5:06
[SPEAKER_01]: You are actually my source.
5:08
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I think that's the big picture answer, but daily decisions.
5:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Daily decisions to say, I'm not going to pop off right now.
5:15
[SPEAKER_01]: Daily decisions to count the cost.
5:17
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think too many of us, we make permanent decisions on temporary situations.
5:21
[SPEAKER_02]: That's good.
5:22
[SPEAKER_01]: And so that's what it wanted big things that I think helped me.
5:24
[SPEAKER_02]: And then, so when you go back to those moments, you know, being in church, you know, pretty prominent, right?
5:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, I meant you because of my position on radio and life and being cool with certain people.
5:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, there's a certain, I mean, unfortunately, there's a certain echelon when it comes to church.
5:40
[SPEAKER_02]: And you are one of the main faces in the church.
5:42
[SPEAKER_02]: And then there's these little chatters.
5:44
[SPEAKER_02]: How do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do
5:46
[SPEAKER_02]: How do you silence the noise of everybody?
5:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, even though it may not be everybody knows, you know, like full transparency, I always like to build a bridge of testimony.
5:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I remember when social media was just so crazy, Willie did say he did this and this is so sad and this is so bad.
6:03
[SPEAKER_02]: And even though I wasn't like he merged in those conversations because my team did a very good job of keeping me off that internet long enough.
6:10
[SPEAKER_02]: So I could keep my sanity.
6:12
[SPEAKER_02]: I remember often thinking,
6:14
[SPEAKER_02]: when I would go in certain spaces like, is everybody talking about me?
6:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, how do you silence the noise when something happens, that's, you know, extremely embarrassing that's actually making you question who you are as a man?
6:25
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I think a principle that I live by, and it still comes out in different things that happen, where I have to get in the mode and put on blinders.
6:32
[SPEAKER_01]: I think we have to put life blinders based on the purpose that God is putting your life.
6:36
[SPEAKER_01]: And so,
6:36
[SPEAKER_01]: In that time, I vividly remember, even though I'm healed from walking through it, there's lessons that you learn that stay with you.
6:44
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I had to put on blinders to say, I'm gonna stay focused in this moment because if I don't, and I veer off to the right of the left, I am gonna get distracted.
6:52
[SPEAKER_01]: If I take my foot off the pedal of moving forward, I'm going to do something that may be our regret, instead of saying, okay, I'm gonna really trust you.
7:01
[SPEAKER_01]: And I know it might sound some, some people would sound like, oh, it's super spiritual, but I was like,
7:05
[SPEAKER_01]: I have to trust God more than I trust myself.
7:08
[SPEAKER_01]: I have to trust God in this that he's going to bring me through it because he hadn't left me yet.
7:12
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I had to keep on going in that.
7:14
[SPEAKER_01]: But at the same time, I think I had also been trained and conditioned over years to try to navigate that.
7:19
[SPEAKER_01]: So even as you navigate different things, being in the limelight,
7:23
[SPEAKER_01]: You had to learn how to focus on the main thing, keep the main thing, the main thing.
7:27
[SPEAKER_01]: And so for whatever it's worth, I think the Lord is giving me a grace and a gift to focus and to lock in, right into lock in.
7:36
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that transfer during that time, but bigger than that, it is sturdier moments.
7:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Indeed, that's true.
7:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Pass the mode, it was said that even though betrayal happened, you still fought for your marriage.
7:49
[SPEAKER_02]: And you did everything that you could.
7:54
[SPEAKER_02]: What mindset is needed to fight for something that you didn't start the fight on?
8:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Again, it all goes back to the foundation of what do you really say you believe?
8:05
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I remember when we first started having the conversations because I believe that it was right for me to fight for the covenant, I said okay, I'm going to do everything that I can do, I wanna pray, obviously, but faith where I works is dead and you have to take some steps.
8:24
[SPEAKER_01]: going to say we're going to seek out some counseling, we're going to seek out, you know, trying to reconcile.
8:29
[SPEAKER_01]: And I fought and fought and fought until I saw that I was the only one fighting.
8:35
[SPEAKER_01]: And in that moment, I remember, I remember vividly when the light bulb went off.
8:39
[SPEAKER_01]: We were literally sitting down, having a meeting, and we were talking through kind of what it would look like to reconcile, to get back together, what the counseling was going to look like.
8:48
[SPEAKER_01]: And I remember in that moment, she started to say some things that was just showing me, you're not about this life.
8:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Like you're not really trying to do this.
8:57
[SPEAKER_01]: And this was, again, after a lot of time of trying and trying to fight for it.
9:01
[SPEAKER_01]: And in that moment, I didn't say it right there, but internally, a switch, just flip.
9:07
[SPEAKER_01]: And I said, okay, we're gonna have to move on this.
9:11
[SPEAKER_01]: And from that moment, I remember going back and saying, we're going to have to make some decisions and go ahead and end this, because this is not going to work for either of us, and it's not going to end well.
9:20
[SPEAKER_02]: So what did the church, what was the church response to you making such a strong decision?
9:26
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't think so one, the same way that I kept the blinders on in the moment, I also didn't open myself up to hear all the chatter.
9:35
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think you can't have it both ways.
9:37
[SPEAKER_01]: You can't take all of this thing.
9:39
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I totally understand.
9:40
[SPEAKER_01]: You can't take all of it in and think you're going to operate with focus.
9:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
9:44
[SPEAKER_01]: And so in the same way that I tried to stay focused when I was fighting for the marriage, I had to keep that same focus once it dissipated.
9:53
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think,
9:55
[SPEAKER_01]: Again, a saving grace was that I was able to continue to stay locked in a stay servant.
9:58
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm indebted to this day, the bishop long, because he could operate it in a different way.
10:02
[SPEAKER_01]: He could have said, hey, you went through this.
10:04
[SPEAKER_01]: I need to sit you down, I need to do all this, and I think because it wasn't something that I inflicted upon in the situation.
10:10
[SPEAKER_01]: is what made it possible for him to be okay with saying, all right, you continue to remain faithful and doing what you're doing.
10:17
[SPEAKER_01]: And I always still try to operate in an upright manner.
10:20
[SPEAKER_01]: And so that really allowed me to stay focused because if I was just tooling my thumbs,
10:26
[SPEAKER_01]: and not traveling, not doing the things, some other things.
10:30
[SPEAKER_01]: We might be talking about a different testimony today.
10:32
[SPEAKER_01]: I listen.
10:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
10:34
[SPEAKER_02]: Let me tell you, past the mold, you don't want the diving.
10:38
[SPEAKER_02]: You speak about the leg-grade bishop at the long, and I can potentially give honor to him, because, you know, in some of the most pivotal moments, having the bridge to be able to communicate with him.
10:48
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, I got a national platform and there was some very tragic things that have happened in the United States of America where I was challenged to speak to and I'm this kid from St. Louis, Missouri and you know, for somebody to remind you, no, no, no, you a man of God and that's why you in this position and so stop thinking about where you came from and think about where you got has you and where he wants you to go.
11:07
[SPEAKER_02]: Those are some of the words that Bishop will give me.
11:10
[SPEAKER_02]: What was some of his advice during that time where you were going through such a dark moment like what was some of the, what was some of the fatherly or brotherly advice that he gave you during that time?
11:18
[SPEAKER_01]: One of the biggest principles that stay with me, I share it with different people I mentor when people are going through bad things.
11:23
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like a three-prong form that he would say all the time.
11:25
[SPEAKER_01]: You say take one day at a time, pray all the time, and stay focused.
11:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Period.
11:33
[SPEAKER_01]: It sounds so simple, but I was preaching recently and I said it's a lot of the things that are simple or easy in the Bible to take in and hear.
11:42
[SPEAKER_01]: They're not easy to walk out.
11:44
[SPEAKER_01]: So when you say, you know, take one day at a time, give me this day my daily bread.
11:49
[SPEAKER_01]: So I break that down even further, always say, and I teach you some leadership, hey, take one moment at a time.
11:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Every second actually turns into how you're going to see your next minute, every minute turns into how you're going to see your next hour, etc.
12:00
[SPEAKER_01]: And so for me, when he said that it allowed me to basically take a big thing in a big situation and bring it down to a manageable size.
12:08
[SPEAKER_01]: I can manage this moment.
12:11
[SPEAKER_01]: I may not be able to manage all the stuff that's come with it, but if I don't handle this moment, right, I won't make it to the next moment.
12:17
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'll disqualify the next moment if I actually fumble this one.
12:21
[SPEAKER_01]: And so that was the big one that he said, you know, take one day at a time, pray all the time.
12:26
[SPEAKER_01]: The Bible says, pray without ceasing.
12:27
[SPEAKER_01]: A lot of times we make that stuff so spiritual and so spooky.
12:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I have to be in the third heaven's all the time.
12:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Alright, a lot of times this just may have been a constant commuting with the lore of like, I need you right now.
12:38
[SPEAKER_01]: I get the guy, I'm sensing this right now, I'm feeling this right now, I'm afraid right now, I'm not feeling confident right now being able to speak the scripts over your life in a way that's real, not that I have to say to the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jake, but I have to get in the certain posture to keep my heart posture towards the Lord always.
12:56
[SPEAKER_01]: And then just stay focused, just like keep the binders on.
13:00
[SPEAKER_01]: So that I think that nugget of wisdom has always stuck with me and then the other piece that he exemplified in his life that I really try to hold on to see at our church.
13:10
[SPEAKER_01]: at all of our campuses.
13:11
[SPEAKER_01]: We all are at the door after every service shaking hands talking to the people.
13:15
[SPEAKER_01]: We don't have this green room culture where you just pop out the back and you on the platform.
13:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Hey, I'm here.
13:20
[SPEAKER_01]: No, we're going to finish.
13:21
[SPEAKER_01]: We're going to go to the door because that's how you stay connected with the people.
13:24
[SPEAKER_01]: That's how you actually smell like sheep.
13:26
[SPEAKER_01]: And so what he exemplified even back then before it was popular being mega,
13:31
[SPEAKER_01]: as he took the time to be with every person.
13:33
[SPEAKER_01]: If he was with you, you knew he was with you.
13:36
[SPEAKER_01]: So like, if I'm talking to you right here, I'm not looking around and trying to talk to everybody else, I'm gonna be right here.
13:40
[SPEAKER_01]: And so just treat people will.
13:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Love people and love God.
13:44
[SPEAKER_02]: And then, so past and mold, you got these blindes on, you're getting focused, you walking through this hill in Germany.
13:50
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, the church made of known about the betrayal, but you're not really privy to all of the chatter because you now got your ears shut off, you move it.
13:57
[SPEAKER_02]: And now you know how to stay in the church at this point because the word that got around the demand with the Taylor Suits right next to the mission is now the wife The pants back then So you know now you're moving in this everybody knows you're pretty prominent guy always been disciplined Always had this physique that's like hey, it is what it is now how do you navigate like dating in the church?
14:24
[SPEAKER_02]: What should I credit be if you went through a tough season of your life?
14:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think that people perish because of that lack of knowledge, right?
14:31
[SPEAKER_00]: It's been long said that you have to have this type of credit score to buy your house.
14:35
[SPEAKER_00]: To be honest with you, if you're a hustler and you got 20% credit score, it won't really matter.
14:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Wow.
14:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Because we've got long programs out there for people who are entrepreneurs, but for the everyday average working person, you want to have at least a 580 for FHA or a 624 conventional loan.
14:53
[SPEAKER_02]: That's too jockey, maybe this is your season to say, I'ma step out on faith, and when I step out on faith, I want to step out on faith with somebody who moves within integrity.
15:02
[SPEAKER_02]: Make sure you connect with Jack Hall.
15:05
[SPEAKER_02]: Now back to the love you more show.
15:06
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
15:07
[SPEAKER_01]: So first, I do remember, you know, wanting to make sure I still operate in integrity.
15:13
[SPEAKER_01]: So I did not want to be the person who had access or who was a person out front that you really have a narrative of that you you run it through the church or even trying to do it in a nice way, you know, we know how to Not a finesse and so I was very intentional in that season number one to make sure that I was actually walking through a healing process.
15:33
[SPEAKER_01]: When I first started, I remember pretty pretty.
15:36
[SPEAKER_01]: vividly when I've made the turn and said I'm going to open myself up even to explore in a game because when you go through something like that, you got two choices.
15:44
[SPEAKER_01]: You can either like, recluse and be like shut down and hate all women, right?
15:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Or you can say, okay, in a calculated fashion, I'm gonna allow myself to be vulnerable again, but you also have to be calculated.
15:59
[SPEAKER_01]: And so in that moment, I remember a model that I went by in that time and said, okay, I'm okay with starting to get to know good people.
16:06
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I put that in a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a chair or a
16:34
[SPEAKER_01]: you're never lied about this and so I had to be conscious and not operate in this false oblivion like I didn't know what was really going on because you know we can do that too I'd be honest with you.
16:47
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't know I don't mean to cut you out, but I didn't know so
16:50
[SPEAKER_02]: I was married at the time and it's girl at the radio station because I grew up with a mama who didn't play about opening doors, letting the woman walk in first, respecting your eye level, making sure that you're doing that.
17:02
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't realize that this was something that like women looking at like, oh my god, he's sitting in the side.
17:07
[SPEAKER_02]: He's sitting in the side.
17:08
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, she told me why you got three wives up in here.
17:11
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, I'm not doing anything.
17:13
[SPEAKER_02]: You're like all this opening up doors Bringing people water coffee out of other stuff out of their kindness.
17:18
[SPEAKER_02]: We don't get there.
17:19
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
17:19
[SPEAKER_02]: You we go together Yeah, and I was like oh my god.
17:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so I had to be very intentional.
17:25
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean what what's funny?
17:27
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll go forward and I'll come back in this season because you know pastoring and shepherding and I'm just in a different season
17:35
[SPEAKER_01]: I smile a lot more.
17:36
[SPEAKER_01]: I am more open.
17:38
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I literally, people that especially have not seen me in years and that now comes to the charge that they see stuff on social and see our, you know, YouTube clips and things.
17:46
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't even know you smile.
17:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Hey.
17:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Because I was conditioned at the end of the day.
17:51
[SPEAKER_01]: I was in focus mode.
17:53
[SPEAKER_01]: I was in protective mode.
17:54
[SPEAKER_01]: But some of that even played well for me when it came to being a filter.
17:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Because there was a little bit of that demeanor that basically said, I'm not here to play.
18:02
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
18:03
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not here to entertain this.
18:04
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not here to get into the mess.
18:06
[SPEAKER_01]: And so when I started to open myself up to get to know good people, I still had to be very careful because that's too drastic changes in personality and approach.
18:14
[SPEAKER_01]: You see me on platform and I'm just like militant.
18:17
[SPEAKER_01]: And now I'm open to the door for you.
18:19
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm saying, hey, how you doing and how you doing is how you want to go out.
18:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
18:23
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, so I had to start really being calculated.
18:25
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, if I'm going to make this decision to do this first, I'm going to be very clear about my intentions.
18:31
[SPEAKER_01]: And so walking through that season, it got me to a point where I was obnoxiously honest in that season.
18:37
[SPEAKER_01]: My wife will tell you now, even when we were dating, you know, I would tell her stuff and go to the extremes, say, hey, I want you to know the extreme versions of me because I don't want you to switch up later if you can't handle this.
18:47
[SPEAKER_01]: And so when I was getting to know those good people, I was like, hey, this is where I am.
18:51
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm simply, I'm being overly communicative.
18:53
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm simply just trying to get to know good people.
18:55
[SPEAKER_01]: We can go do this, we can go do that, but this is not that.
18:59
[SPEAKER_01]: And so at that time, it was probably,
19:01
[SPEAKER_01]: My wife would differ a few sitting right here.
19:02
[SPEAKER_01]: She would say, it's probably about six or seven.
19:04
[SPEAKER_01]: But it was probably about three young ladies around the time that I was getting to know as good people.
19:11
[SPEAKER_01]: And I would make sure that I wasn't getting to know them as good people around the east side.
19:16
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
19:16
[SPEAKER_01]: At the time I was living downtown, I was like, okay, if we're going to connect on the other side of town because I didn't want my good to be spoken evil up and I didn't want to send big signals.
19:25
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
19:25
[SPEAKER_01]: And so we even have the, you know, times out, go to the bowling alley, do the things.
19:29
[SPEAKER_01]: But one moment happened when I remember I got tickets to the color purple.
19:35
[SPEAKER_01]: And I said to myself again, I didn't lie to myself, here's it, but major key.
19:39
[SPEAKER_01]: I said to myself, whoever I take to this particular play is going to send a signal that I want to probably take another step and getting to know them further.
19:48
[SPEAKER_01]: And so in that moment, I was very honest with myself, as I kind of really took a survey of the young ladies and their character and things like that.
19:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, six, seven, three, four, five, five, five, five, five, five, yeah.
20:01
[SPEAKER_01]: My wife, my wife, I remember saying, this is a person out of these options.
20:07
[SPEAKER_01]: This is a person that I would like to take the chance knowing that I'm going to try to get to know her better at the expense.
20:12
[SPEAKER_01]: of not continuing with the others.
20:14
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I had to make a real conscious decision to walk an integrity that if I'm going to get to know you deeper, I can't get to know you deeper and stay in this water on the other side with the others.
20:24
[SPEAKER_02]: What were you from?
20:25
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm originally from Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
20:27
[SPEAKER_02]: WKKV.
20:28
[SPEAKER_01]: Yep.
20:28
[SPEAKER_01]: That was good.
20:30
[SPEAKER_01]: And I moved here when I was about 12.
20:33
[SPEAKER_02]: So did you grow with father and mother?
20:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Yep, so my father, my father and mother, they were together and they divorced when I was 12.
20:39
[SPEAKER_01]: That's how I got to Atlanta.
20:40
[SPEAKER_01]: My mom moved here.
20:41
[SPEAKER_01]: She was always been in radio.
20:43
[SPEAKER_01]: You've probably met my mom before in some circle.
20:45
[SPEAKER_01]: What?
20:46
[SPEAKER_01]: But she moved here myself and my two brothers we moved here when I was 12 years old, been on the east side for the time I was growing up through high school and then went to school and Charlotte came back here after that, now back in Atlanta.
20:59
[SPEAKER_02]: What do you think that divorced did to Yomo?
21:05
[SPEAKER_01]: grew them up a lot.
21:06
[SPEAKER_01]: I think, you know, I've always, and this is what people have told about me, what I know about myself.
21:12
[SPEAKER_01]: I can say this very strongly.
21:14
[SPEAKER_01]: I've always been a person who had a tender heart where I had the dichotomy of the line and the lamb.
21:21
[SPEAKER_01]: I've always been intense, always been discipline, always have gone after things, but I've always had this side of me that will cry on a dime.
21:31
[SPEAKER_01]: that I didn't understand it when I was younger.
21:33
[SPEAKER_01]: I actually used to see it as a weakness.
21:35
[SPEAKER_01]: I used to be like, ah, I want to be harder.
21:38
[SPEAKER_01]: So much so like, growing up with a name like Andrew coming from Milwaukee, I felt like that's a white name.
21:43
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I remember early in my, you know, my younger age wanted to change my name to Andre, because I was like, that's a little harder until I found out what Andrew meant.
21:52
[SPEAKER_01]: strong and enduring manly and so I feel like what it taught young mo is to be honest with yourself don't take the back seat don't change yourself trying to make yourself enough for somebody else because you are enough in God's eyes and so I tell people often when I went through that divorce that's when mo beast was born.
22:16
[SPEAKER_02]: It makes sense.
22:16
[SPEAKER_01]: Literally in 2009.
22:18
[SPEAKER_01]: So all the things that I kind of held back, all the things that I second guessed about myself, all the things that, you know, I wanted to do, but I didn't do, I was afraid to do it.
22:28
[SPEAKER_01]: More love you more podcast after this.
22:32
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey family, I know you're enjoying this amazing interview.
22:36
[SPEAKER_02]: However, I want to talk to the person right now, maybe it's you.
22:39
[SPEAKER_02]: You've been taking medicine and doing this very unique time in our culture.
22:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Money has been short, you know, you find yourself on some hard times.
22:48
[SPEAKER_02]: Maybe that job that you have spent so much time in decided that they were going to move in a new direction and you find yourself without a job.
22:54
[SPEAKER_02]: But you still need your medicine.
22:56
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's why I partnered with a 9 profit pharmacy to get you the medicine that you need for little to no cost.
23:04
[SPEAKER_02]: If that's you, I want to encourage you to go to rxoutreach.org forward slash willy more junior, okay?
23:12
[SPEAKER_02]: our ex-outreach.org forward slash Willie Moore Jr. Make sure that you check out that site.
23:18
[SPEAKER_02]: And if they don't get you what you supposed to get, I wouldn't put my name on it.
23:22
[SPEAKER_02]: So you show me if I'm going to get it.
23:23
[SPEAKER_02]: I love you to life back to the episode, flat out.
23:26
[SPEAKER_01]: Literally from that moment, I think I said this on the La Crepe podcast.
23:29
[SPEAKER_01]: The voice is like a death.
23:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Thanks.
23:31
[SPEAKER_01]: And so in that moment, I said, okay, if I'm going to die,
23:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Let me make this next life matter.
23:38
[SPEAKER_01]: Let me make it happen.
23:39
[SPEAKER_01]: So literally after I got the voice, I started taking mixed martial arts.
23:43
[SPEAKER_01]: I moved from the cater, from the east side, like the only area I moved to the city.
23:50
[SPEAKER_01]: I moved from a four-bed room house to a one-bed room studio.
23:53
[SPEAKER_01]: I just started over.
23:54
[SPEAKER_01]: I just started to do all the things that I always wanted to do.
23:56
[SPEAKER_01]: And so it allowed me to live out loud.
23:58
[SPEAKER_01]: it allowed me to live unapologetically.
24:00
[SPEAKER_01]: It allowed me to walk through a moment where I no longer have the fear of man, but I only have the fear of God.
24:06
[SPEAKER_01]: So I can really stand on what I believe and keep walking and say, God, I trust you through it all, period.
24:12
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
24:14
[SPEAKER_02]: So moving to Atlanta with Mom only,
24:17
[SPEAKER_02]: There's a level of responsibility that comes with a man having although she's mom, it's like I gotta take care of mom.
24:24
[SPEAKER_02]: I have three boys, and of course, my second oldest son, he's living with me full of time.
24:31
[SPEAKER_02]: But they just have this thing where they gotta take care of mom.
24:34
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think that's so admirable.
24:36
[SPEAKER_02]: But I'm right around the corner.
24:38
[SPEAKER_02]: What did it do, or how the young mo feel knowing that daddy was
24:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Miles and Miles away.
24:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Did you feel like responsibility came up on you faster?
24:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Did they do a good job of kind of harboring your childhood?
24:53
[SPEAKER_02]: Did you think you had to grow up a lot faster at 12?
24:55
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like my parents did an incredible job of keeping balance, even throughout all the transition.
25:01
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm actually the oldest of six blended now, but at the time, growing up as the oldest, I was back in a day where at five years old, six years old, I was letting myself in the house.
25:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I was doing the dishes, I was doing all the stuff, and I feel like they did a really good job of nurturing me with both love and discipline and exposure.
25:23
[SPEAKER_01]: I've been blessed like my mom again being in radio.
25:25
[SPEAKER_01]: We grew up around it.
25:28
[SPEAKER_01]: We grew up around all the athletes.
25:30
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm growing up in Milwaukee at all the brewer's games.
25:32
[SPEAKER_01]: I've got pictures of my brothers and I with Mr. T when he had all the gold.
25:36
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
25:36
[SPEAKER_01]: And then his prime.
25:38
[SPEAKER_01]: All the things.
25:39
[SPEAKER_01]: So I feel like they did an incredible job.
25:41
[SPEAKER_01]: My dad.
25:42
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm basically the darker skin version of him with braids.
25:46
[SPEAKER_01]: He's the same tender hearted, a prayer warrior, a worshiper, my mom loves us, loves God, as a go-getter, has always been a go-getter, so I think I have a really good mix of the two and it allowed it to converge in my life in a very positive way.
26:04
[SPEAKER_02]: So, I mean, I mean, it's short.
26:06
[SPEAKER_02]: Can we get into the minutiae of some of the things that they did right?
26:10
[SPEAKER_02]: Cause I mean, cause on the other side of this camera, I'd be very honest with you when it comes to two people splitting, you know, sometimes peace and solace and even the love of Christ.
26:20
[SPEAKER_02]: is gone.
26:21
[SPEAKER_02]: They just be like, I invest with none of that.
26:23
[SPEAKER_02]: And then the children on the sideline like excuse me, I don't feel safe.
26:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, is does this mean that I'm no longer important.
26:31
[SPEAKER_02]: There's so many questions that happen with children, like what would like two things that you can remember that made you feel safe, leaving your normal.
26:39
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I'm going to say something first.
26:42
[SPEAKER_01]: I remember when we first got the number of us sitting down and having that conversation, this is no longer going to work for them.
26:48
[SPEAKER_01]: And again, me being an O, just again, I'm 11, 12 years old.
26:51
[SPEAKER_01]: I remember feeling like, is this my fault?
26:54
[SPEAKER_01]: He immediately, like, you know, I think that's a natural response.
26:58
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know why it's like that, but I think maybe it was the responsibility that I had at the time too, but I remember asking the question like, what did we do wrong?
27:05
[SPEAKER_01]: What happened?
27:06
[SPEAKER_01]: What's going on?
27:06
[SPEAKER_01]: Why is this happening?
27:08
[SPEAKER_01]: So I think there was an initial shot, but then I think again, I've been extremely blessed that I didn't have to go through a whole lot of trauma of them splitting and then it being this desperate
27:21
[SPEAKER_01]: bad situation.
27:22
[SPEAKER_01]: We moved to Georgia to North Cross at the time.
27:25
[SPEAKER_01]: My mom still was a go get her.
27:27
[SPEAKER_01]: She tried to give us the best.
27:28
[SPEAKER_01]: She tried to give us the best experience that we could.
27:30
[SPEAKER_01]: I was playing.
27:30
[SPEAKER_01]: I played junior tennis at the time.
27:32
[SPEAKER_01]: She still had me traveling, you know, the nation and, you know, the southeast and my brothers were good.
27:38
[SPEAKER_01]: My dad.
27:39
[SPEAKER_01]: We was still talking to him.
27:40
[SPEAKER_01]: We was still visiting the summers.
27:42
[SPEAKER_01]: So it wasn't.
27:43
[SPEAKER_01]: Honestly, I don't have one of them ratchet testimonies where like we had to go get it out the mud.
27:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
27:48
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, during that time, but I do believe it allowed me to just appreciate the good, appreciate the stability.
27:57
[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes we want to create a narrative and unappreciate the stability.
28:01
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
28:02
[SPEAKER_01]: And so for me, yeah, to the two moments that make me feel safe was that they continue to communicate.
28:10
[SPEAKER_02]: So what I think I hear you saying is, if two people can be civilized enough to get on one of the court, to make sure that the children understand that we're not breaking up with you, we just got two different things, because the way you were to do was, when they made a decision that they didn't want to go together.
28:27
[SPEAKER_02]: So that automatically lets me know that they were able to communicate a narrative to you that says, this has nothing to do with you.
28:34
[SPEAKER_01]: You can probably almost verbate them, remember those words.
28:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, this has nothing to do with you.
28:38
[SPEAKER_02]: It's totally us.
28:40
[SPEAKER_02]: And then what I think I heard you say is that you kept on being exposed to different things that were able to show you like, amen, this ball's still rolling.
28:50
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and it wasn't adjustment.
28:52
[SPEAKER_01]: I remember being here again, let's just when you have two adults.
28:57
[SPEAKER_01]: They're at an impasse for some reason.
28:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
28:59
[SPEAKER_01]: They're not together for some reason.
29:01
[SPEAKER_01]: You're going to pick up on some of that.
29:02
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
29:02
[SPEAKER_01]: And so like, I can remember, you know, going back to Milwaukee, and you're, they're not telling you my parents did a good job also of not trying to pit us against the other person, right?
29:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Which I think is critical, because I think people do make that mistake.
29:15
[SPEAKER_01]: You're trying to elevate yourself by down in somebody else.
29:18
[SPEAKER_01]: That's never, that's never the answer.
29:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, sir.
29:20
[SPEAKER_01]: And you end up creating more trauma.
29:22
[SPEAKER_01]: for the children, and they end up having to dig out of later, but they never did that.
29:26
[SPEAKER_01]: But I do remember feeling the tension and I'll say this now and hindsight at 46 years old.
29:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, I'm now looking back to, oh, that's why I learned that.
29:36
[SPEAKER_01]: That's why I don't do that.
29:37
[SPEAKER_01]: So there were behaviors, not that they were intentional, but there were things that they walked through of like ways that they maybe communicated or not communicated.
29:46
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, okay, I'm gonna do that a little different.
29:48
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm gonna communicate with, I'm gonna say early and often what I want and what I don't want.
29:53
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I think through my own divorce, through them walking through their divorce, I was able to see some things of like the cost of not speaking up in authenticity.
30:02
[SPEAKER_01]: So much so that like so fast for both sets of my parents.
30:07
[SPEAKER_02]: They both attend my church and both are remarried now So yeah, tell me your mama and your daddy My members are both remarried and members at your church And what's all this boy?
30:19
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, it's the past so I'm past the son I'm about to throw this bill
30:24
[SPEAKER_01]: And I sit I stand most weeks and they don't always come to the same service and it's not because they don't like each other Yeah, just let's go.
30:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, my dad and my step mom.
30:34
[SPEAKER_01]: They're usually on the front row at the nine o'clock service And I'm preaching my heart out and I can see the pride and the joy of my dad and the prayers answered in him a lot of time My mom's at the 11 o'clock service and sitting to my left and I could see her not even looking at me as her son But looking Looking at me as a pastor
30:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Most of the conversations we have is they're honestly in this season pastoral conversations, you pastoring your mind, pastoring my parents, man.
31:08
[SPEAKER_01]: And they don't, and they don't do the whole sun thing.
31:11
[SPEAKER_01]: They don't do the whole life.
31:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Or like, I'm entitled to give me my seat and do it.
31:16
[SPEAKER_01]: They don't do that.
31:17
[SPEAKER_01]: They actually come in and get in what they fit in.
31:19
[SPEAKER_01]: They serve, they're, they go with the standards that my wife and I have set for the church and don't try to overrule that, don't try to overstep it.
31:28
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a extreme case of humility and display.
31:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Because what I'm most proud of is that I'm able to stand before God and really show them fruit of how they did deposit the Word of God into me and care through into me.
31:44
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
31:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
31:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Man, thank you.
31:46
[SPEAKER_02]: No.
31:48
[SPEAKER_02]: But if you don't, like, you know, you have different types of children, and I think you really represent what people who make hard decisions, like you represent what you hope your child, you know, turns out, because that's what you work so hard for.
32:04
[SPEAKER_02]: That's what you, like, you don't know the blows and the words and the craziness that made it went on behind closure and you just button it up and put your face on.
32:12
[SPEAKER_02]: And, you know,
32:13
[SPEAKER_02]: what they've protected you from and like I think selfishly me I know that I do have a son who will pastor like I show me it like he he's gonna pastor like I've seen glimpses of it I've literally I don't protect him from life because I want his testimony to be strong I feel like yeah, it's all good.
32:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah, go through that.
32:31
[SPEAKER_02]: He's gonna be good.
32:31
[SPEAKER_01]: He's gonna be good.
32:31
[SPEAKER_01]: He's gonna be good.
32:32
[SPEAKER_01]: He's gonna be good.
32:32
[SPEAKER_01]: He's gonna be good.
32:33
[SPEAKER_01]: He's gonna be good.
32:33
[SPEAKER_01]: He's gonna be good.
32:34
[SPEAKER_01]: He's gonna be good.
32:34
[SPEAKER_01]: He's gonna be good.
32:34
[SPEAKER_01]: He's gonna be good.
32:35
[SPEAKER_01]: He's gonna be good.
32:35
[SPEAKER_01]: He's gonna be good.
32:36
[SPEAKER_02]: He's gonna be good.
32:36
[SPEAKER_02]: He's gonna be good.
32:37
[SPEAKER_02]: He's gonna be good.
32:37
[SPEAKER_02]: He's gonna be good.
32:38
[SPEAKER_02]: He's gonna be good.
32:38
[SPEAKER_02]: He's gonna be good.
32:39
[SPEAKER_02]: He's gonna be good.
32:39
[SPEAKER_02]: He's gonna be good.
32:40
[SPEAKER_02]: He's gonna be good.
32:40
[SPEAKER_02]: He's gonna be good.
32:40
[UNKNOWN]: He's gonna be
32:41
[SPEAKER_02]: It is my prayer that I give an opportunity to have those eyes that I imagine, you know, the father has given an opportunity to see Spitting image of itself up there like man.
32:52
[SPEAKER_02]: He took it further than I could ever took it.
32:53
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm going to push you for a second.
32:55
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, you know, again, we're here having this conversation.
33:00
[SPEAKER_01]: I can sense the spirit of God just came on you just down when you saw that flash.
33:04
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
33:05
[SPEAKER_01]: What is that to you?
33:05
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to turn it to the end of viewer for a second.
33:08
[SPEAKER_01]: What is that to you?
33:09
[SPEAKER_01]: What is that feeling that flashed before your eyes when you hear that testimony even in my life and see what you hope to see through your son?
33:18
[SPEAKER_02]: I was quiet because I wanted my children to be able to see a man do his best to walk in integrity.
33:26
[SPEAKER_02]: I left people alone because I wanted them to see that my character reflects what I read about.
33:33
[SPEAKER_02]: I quit drinking and smoking and just a lot of different things that I knew that I wasn't doing that was pleasing to the Lord and you make all those sacrifices and hopes that they can
33:47
[SPEAKER_02]: and then be able to make a decision for Jesus, not for me, but for the Jesus that I seen take my daddy from one level to the next level and then being able to to submit to that and say, if God can do it for him, I know he can do it for me and then take it to a whole other level.
34:04
[SPEAKER_02]: That is my biggest prayer.
34:06
[SPEAKER_02]: that my children will be okay.
34:07
[SPEAKER_02]: When I was going through divorce, my therapist, she pointed out that whenever I would talk, it was never about the marriage, the part that I was most nervous about.
34:17
[SPEAKER_02]: It was just always those children.
34:19
[SPEAKER_02]: There's no knock to my form and wife at all.
34:22
[SPEAKER_02]: It was just something I was doing so consciously.
34:24
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, I don't think people understand what it's like to be adopted.
34:27
[SPEAKER_02]: And finally having blood relatives, you know, I mean, I had to repent for it because the parent and Ashley became an idol for me.
34:34
[SPEAKER_02]: I wanted to make sure that I did everything correctly.
34:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, they couldn't go over people's houses and all of that.
34:41
[SPEAKER_02]: And so you're trying to protect the court in God.
34:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, exactly.
34:44
[SPEAKER_02]: In fact, the other night, now you got me on the spot.
34:48
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm in there.
34:49
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm just supposed to go to Wyoming, my son, he's a part of the personnel university at Wyoming football team.
34:54
[SPEAKER_02]: I could hear it in this voice, he going through a little bit.
34:57
[SPEAKER_02]: He'd be able to play San Jose State.
34:58
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm about to just, I've just got back from San Luis.
35:01
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm about to fly back out to San Jose real quick, just on the fly.
35:04
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm gonna meet him at the hotel because he had the little thing in this voice first job.
35:09
[SPEAKER_02]: But then we about to have a storm.
35:10
[SPEAKER_02]: And I don't wanna leave my family here, so I'm kinda torn.
35:13
[SPEAKER_02]: And in my time, in the steamer, I'm like,
35:16
[SPEAKER_02]: All right, God.
35:18
[SPEAKER_02]: You could take care of him right in in my heart.
35:19
[SPEAKER_01]: I have got to say really What you think this is?
35:24
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm laughing Did they come in like what you laughing it?
35:27
[SPEAKER_02]: I was like I just asked God like he take care of and it was kind of like a joke But I realized that I was walking a really fine line.
35:34
[SPEAKER_02]: So, you know, I say all that to say to see
35:38
[SPEAKER_02]: two people who had to make a strong decision for themselves and then the child becomes what daddy probably already knew from like his children knows like that's something different about this yeah you know and to see that just like okay guy thank you for the confirmation that he can still work
35:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and going back, you asked something earlier about some of the things they instilled in me and in us.
36:00
[SPEAKER_01]: I think one of the things that it's also gratifying when I look at my dad is I feel like when I came through the divorce, there were things.
36:08
[SPEAKER_01]: I think we all have a moment where we get to a point and we kind of hit a glass ceiling.
36:13
[SPEAKER_01]: And there were some things whether it was just exposure, whether it was like, okay, he was supposed to start some things and then now it was supposed to finish it, that I do take a bit of pride in of being a finisher.
36:23
[SPEAKER_01]: And like saying, hey, like you said this good foundation on me.
36:26
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want that to be wasted.
36:28
[SPEAKER_01]: And so there are times where I do feel a sense of Godly pride that I may would have like take this next step and say, all right, I picked up where you left off.
36:36
[SPEAKER_01]: And then now like seeing our son Maximus.
36:40
[SPEAKER_01]: Like he said, this dude different.
36:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
36:43
[SPEAKER_01]: He's on some.
36:44
[SPEAKER_01]: He's on another.
36:45
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't even know.
36:46
[SPEAKER_01]: He's been here before.
36:46
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that's what I thought he'd say.
36:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
36:49
[SPEAKER_02]: That's what I've been able to follow.
36:50
[SPEAKER_01]: And so to see that it didn't start with me though.
36:52
[SPEAKER_01]: I think to also honor the past, my grandfather, his, his Andrew, my dad, Andrew, me, Andrew Junior.
36:58
[SPEAKER_01]: And then Maximus is going from generation to generation, and I just want to steward what we have.
37:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Going back to what you said, I can't control everything that's going to happen with my son.
37:06
[SPEAKER_01]: We're just simply steward.
37:07
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's easier to say that than to actually do it and release them to God.
37:11
[SPEAKER_01]: But I want to do my best that I can to make sure I set him up to even go further.
37:15
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, indeed, you know, I look at these really crazy statistics when it comes to a couple of new numbers, you know, with some crazy, like, you know, 49%, 43% of marriages first time in a divorce.
37:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Then it goes up to like 71% the second time.
37:31
[SPEAKER_02]: What steps are you taking to make sure that, you know, now that you, of course, you've been with your wife forever.
37:36
[SPEAKER_01]: But what steps are you making here?
37:37
[SPEAKER_02]: Come on, 15, yes, indeed, 2009.
37:40
[SPEAKER_02]: Was it 2000 or something like that?
37:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, so celebrating 15 years, but what tuneups and steps do you all take to make sure that their relationship continues to flourish?
37:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely, so first thing that I think I said this on another podcast, like I want to make sure that though,
37:57
[SPEAKER_01]: my ex-wife, my deceased ex-wife, she, you know, made some decisions in that that was kind of something that really had a detrimental effect.
38:05
[SPEAKER_01]: I learned some things through it too.
38:06
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, what could I do differently?
38:08
[SPEAKER_01]: How could I show it differently?
38:09
[SPEAKER_01]: So, I try to make sure that I am being as present as possible.
38:13
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm trying to make sure that I'm able to honor my wife in a way to make sure I lift her up and cover her.
38:17
[SPEAKER_01]: But one of the things we do often is we have our checking in and we have almost like this cold word that we just say periodically.
38:24
[SPEAKER_01]: We just look at each other and say,
38:27
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's not that you still have a lot of young about to let you go and you about to get divorced.
38:31
[SPEAKER_01]: It's the probing and the prompting to give the person opportunity to actually speak authentically about an area that needs growth and an area that may be under attended or unattended.
38:43
[SPEAKER_01]: And so there are moments where a lot of moments where it's like, I'm great.
38:48
[SPEAKER_01]: It's good.
38:49
[SPEAKER_01]: But there's other moments where I'm like, you know, or she's like, bro, you need to slow down.
38:54
[SPEAKER_01]: You need to pay more attention.
38:56
[SPEAKER_01]: If you, you know, you need to set your pace a little bit differently to make sure that we slow down together.
39:02
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I think that has been a game changer for us to make sure that we do check in periodically to give that person the space Because it's a lot easier to speak on that when you know the person has opened themselves up and had the posture and we've made that agreement That's what we're going to do to speak into it.
39:18
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a lot harder to come cold and just come and say I got an issue or I'm not doing well That's number one the other thing is that we have is what we call a power of release
39:28
[SPEAKER_01]: So the power of release for us has been a game changer where we make intentional steps with each other to give the other person opportunity to go off and be who they are as an individual, even in the content of an account by as a marriage meaning.
39:44
[SPEAKER_01]: You can go have a hobby.
39:45
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll use mine for example.
39:46
[SPEAKER_01]: I love the golf.
39:46
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going off every morning.
39:49
[SPEAKER_01]: She is such a wonderful support to me that she actually will say, hey, I know that if I can have you go do that and you refresh You're going to come back more intentional and more intent and more present with me versus
40:04
[SPEAKER_01]: I just want you to suffer in silence and not do anything you want to do everything we do has to be together and now you're losing the singleness and marriage you still should be too single people meaning like that you're growing and you're learning and you're developing that the person you marry is not going to be the same person you're with five years later if you allow them space to open up again in a healthy way.
40:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, they murdered me on one of those tonight's conversation.
40:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, shout out to my brother.
40:31
[SPEAKER_02]: Brett, he didn't post it, but I was like, I am always going to be single.
40:36
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
40:37
[SPEAKER_02]: And what I'm saying is I'm going to have my own individuality, even in my marriage because if I don't, I'm going to suffer.
40:43
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm my only child.
40:44
[SPEAKER_02]: I like to pull the way and be alone.
40:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't mean I'm going to be texting, pornography, talking to somebody else.
40:49
[SPEAKER_02]: Sometimes I just like to go running on my own.
40:52
[SPEAKER_02]: So, you know, it's something I like to go swim in.
40:54
[SPEAKER_02]: Everybody you think about your hair, I swim, I was on the swim tip.
40:57
[SPEAKER_01]: Come on.
40:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah.
40:59
[SPEAKER_01]: And you have to do that because otherwise, you'll start operating in resentment because if you lose everything about who you are before you're married, the person that they met when you were single will not no longer be that person.
41:11
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
41:12
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's kind of like, you know, you hire somebody because they have these good attributes and then once you have them on your team, now you want to change everything about them.
41:19
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like the same thing that attracted you to me has to continue to be cultivated or else I'm not going to be the full best version of myself.
41:27
[SPEAKER_01]: And so we operating what's called the power release where we say, hey, you go get your time.
41:31
[SPEAKER_01]: I got a little man.
41:32
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I want you to be able to go away.
41:34
[SPEAKER_01]: We're going to have our time, but you need to have your time.
41:37
[SPEAKER_01]: So those are probably some of the the two biggest principles that we walk in making sure that we check in.
41:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Hey, you're still happy and we're able to talk to each other and give each other that feedback.
41:46
[SPEAKER_01]: And then the other thing is the power release where we both are trying to make space and time to give that other person time to breathe, to express, to recalibrate so we can come back stronger.
41:55
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey family, great conversation past the mode talking that talking, show no listen, do me a favor.
42:00
[SPEAKER_02]: I want you to subscribe to this channel and make sure you tell the friend and another friend.
42:04
[SPEAKER_02]: If anything has spoken to your heart right now, also just leave a comment.
42:08
[SPEAKER_02]: So comment, what you, I'm going to read all the comments.
42:11
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
42:12
[SPEAKER_02]: So I'm going to read the comments.
42:16
[SPEAKER_02]: flat out and the for that person on the other side of the camera right now traditionally I give the final word and just show love and all of that before that person right now specifically maybe to that parent right now who you know maybe on the fence they've kind of made it to this finish line it's been very tumultuous it's been a lot of conversations behind with their children but the the heart of them like they want their children to succeed they want God to really intervene they want to make sure that those children
42:42
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, I know life may not ever be the same with the debris of all of the stuff that has been said from this house that seemingly shattered and broken has broken down.
42:51
[SPEAKER_02]: You just don't want somebody else blows to be such a wound to the testimony of the children.
42:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Could you encourage them just, you know, just highlight them real quick and then we'll land a plan.
43:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, to the parent that's struggling a little bit right now, that you're even a little fearful about making a decision or maybe what's going to happen now that we've made this decision.
43:11
[SPEAKER_01]: I want to let you know that God has them.
43:13
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I think that's such a vague thing that people say, but if we really walk into the intention of what you're saying,
43:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Before you were forming your mother's womb, he knew you.
43:21
[SPEAKER_01]: He sanctified you.
43:22
[SPEAKER_01]: He made you to be a prophet to the nations.
43:24
[SPEAKER_01]: And so that goes for your children as well.
43:26
[SPEAKER_01]: And the same God that brought you through the stuff you've gone through, knowing how your life was, is the same God that can protect them through it.
43:34
[SPEAKER_01]: We are only stewards of our children, and so I said this to a group of guys that I walked with in a small group just Saturday.
43:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Too many times we complain about things and we think it's prayer, and we've never invited God into it.
43:49
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I want to invite you to instead of just talking about something and complaining about something or even talking to yourself about it, make sure you make the shift and invite God into it to breathe on it, to cover them.
44:00
[SPEAKER_01]: knowing that he is the one that never fails, he is the one that will always keep us and protect us and just know, it's never as bad as you actually think it is in the moment.
44:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Don't grow weary and well-done.
44:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Knowing that it do sees and you will reap if you faint, not, but if you faint, you're not gonna be able to see the other side.
44:18
[SPEAKER_01]: So keep going.
44:19
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, indeed.
44:20
[SPEAKER_02]: Family, listen, make sure you subscribe to this channel.
44:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Make sure that you tell the friend and tell another friend, I'm so excited to go, about what God is doing with this show.
44:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Please take the time and love you more.
44:32
[SPEAKER_02]: Glad I.
44:35
[SPEAKER_02]: Love you, my love you, my