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Dear Banya: Who’s More Obsessed? · Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rap An iHeartRadio podcast.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in, rub dub dumb. Before
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: we begin this Dear Bonia episode, I want to wish
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: a very happy birthday to Kate Stram, a big scrubber.
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: Her husband reached out and wanted us to give a
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: shout out, which I think is the cutest thing ever.
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: So I love a cute husband.
• 0:29
  Speaker 4: We love you, Kate. We hope you have the best
• 0:31
  Speaker 4: day ever.
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: And shout out to your husband Brian.
• 0:34
  Speaker 4: And shout out to Brian the Big two nine, last
• 0:37
  Speaker 4: year of your twenties.
• 0:38
  Speaker 5: Live it up girl twenty nine has a husband. It's nice.
• 0:44
  Speaker 4: You'll be thirty nine with a husband.
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: Correct, Yes, yes, I will be.
• 0:48
  Speaker 4: And I'll be never with a husband. That's true.
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: That is true.
• 0:52
  Speaker 4: All right, let's get right into it. We said we
• 0:54
  Speaker 4: are not waysing time for.
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: Pace from Brook That requires you maybe reading faster.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: Oh wow, okay, well that feels like she'sad wanted to
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: say it for a minute.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: I have a very frustrating relationship with my in laws.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: My husband and I have been together nine years, and
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: over that time I realized it's not me it's them.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: They are unkind people who spend all their time judging others.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: They usually keep their distance. I can ignore them, but
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: they recently spend four days with us, the first trip
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: to come to see us after we moved across the country,
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: and I wanted to cry non stop after day two.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: My husband and I were so relieved when they left.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: But his brother is getting married in November, so we're
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: gonna have to spend time with him. What can I
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: do to let their unkind comments roll off my back
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: and not be so sensitive about them. I've tried to
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: be nice, but they just won't ever be nice people.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: How do you deal with people who make you uncomfortable?
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: You know, this is just one of those like classic
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: things of it has nothing to do with you.
• 1:52
  Speaker 4: It's just who they.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: Are, and they're probably at an age where they're never
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: gonna change, unfortunately, And I hate to be like that
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: unhopeful person who's like they're too far gone. But I
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: think at a certain age people just stop wanting to
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: change or trying to change, and if they haven't made
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: the effort this at this point, I don't know if
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: you're ever gonna see them change and be like nice people.
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: But I think that you just have to do you.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: I don't think it means you stop being kind or
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: empathetic or accommodating. I think you just don't bend your
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: break your back trying to get them to be nice,
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: because I don't think you're ever gonna get what you
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: want from them.
• 2:28
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it's interesting because I find myself being very much
• 2:33
  Speaker 5: like you. I'm very affected and can be very affected
• 2:36
  Speaker 5: by other people's behaviors. And it's very interesting. Robbie said,
• 2:41
  Speaker 5: send something to me once. I'll never forget it. It
• 2:43
  Speaker 5: was take people as they are. Just take people as
• 2:47
  Speaker 5: they are, and it really weirdly changed things for me,
• 2:50
  Speaker 5: Like it was like, that's just how this person is.
• 2:52
  Speaker 5: I'm never going to change them and has nothing to
• 2:54
  Speaker 5: do with me, and you just take them for how
• 2:56
  Speaker 5: they are, who they are, and it really helped me,
• 2:59
  Speaker 5: like not be upset by the way other people interact
• 3:03
  Speaker 5: Yeah with me around.
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: Me, mm, it really helps.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: I think you just try to avoid spending any unnecessary
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: time with them.
• 3:11
  Speaker 5: Right, I mean, these are your in laws, so you
• 3:12
  Speaker 5: are going to have to spend time with them, but
• 3:13
  Speaker 5: it's just take them as they are.
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: This is this is who they are.
• 3:17
  Speaker 5: Take them for it and prepare mentally, prepare yourself when
• 3:21
  Speaker 5: you know you're going to be around them, and that's
• 3:22
  Speaker 5: the best that you can do.
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: And I also feel like it's so nice your husband
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: also understands. Yeah, yeah, because it sounds like he's also
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: relieved when they like, You're very lucky that you're on
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: the same page about being pushed by them.
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: For sure, to get in your little cocoon together, zip
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: it up.
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: You have each other if you get stuck. If one
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: of you gets stuck, seek out the other.
• 3:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and get out of that situation. Onto excuse me,
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: it's not you, it's them.
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: Literally literally Onto the.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: Next anonymous, My husband's self pleasure is with porn, and
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: it's kind of an issue in our relationship. I've asked
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: him to abstain, but he has not been successful. Whenever
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: ask him if he's done it, he admits to it
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: and he's super apologetic, but he never offers to stop.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: He's more of a night owl and works late into
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: the night and he'll do it after I'm asleep and
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: I'll tell him to wake me up. I'll help him out.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: Am I overthinking this? We're in a very committed to
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: healthy relationship with open communication. And I know he's not
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: doing it because you're not attracted him he or he
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: doesn't love me. I don't feel like he's betraying me
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: or cheating on me. It just feels taboo to me
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: because of my conservative upbringing. What do you think.
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: Do you mean to go sure?
• 4:28
  Speaker 5: I think if it's affecting your sex life, then I
• 4:32
  Speaker 5: think you have all the right in the world to
• 4:34
  Speaker 5: stand firm on it. And if you're not getting the
• 4:36
  Speaker 5: sex or the pleasure, you're not partaking in it as
• 4:38
  Speaker 5: much as you want. He's doing this more than he's
• 4:42
  Speaker 5: pleasing you. I think it's a huge issue, But that doesn't.
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: Seem to be the issue here.
• 4:46
  Speaker 5: You said you have a very committed, healthy, healthy relationship,
• 4:49
  Speaker 5: which makes me feel like you're satisfied. So I feel
• 4:56
  Speaker 5: like you just let him have his thing.
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: I mean, I don't, I don't I don't like it,
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: So I don't but that I don't like it either.
• 5:07
  Speaker 4: But I think if it's I think it's affecting her.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: She took the time to write into the podcast about it,
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: So I whether it's affecting her sex life or it's
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: just like bothers her and she's communicated that to him,
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: then I think that's something worth potentially seeing like a
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: couple's therapists about because I think that if it's affecting
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: you and it's making you feel a certain way, no
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: matter what that way is, I think it's important to handle.
• 5:37
  Speaker 5: I've had many conversations with men about this, various men,
• 5:40
  Speaker 5: which might sound weird.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: Because on the corner, because it's.
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: So it's so different to men than it is to women.
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: Do you know what I mean?
• 5:51
  Speaker 5: Like when I when I would masturbate, I would have
• 5:55
  Speaker 5: to think about like you have to, I have to
• 5:57
  Speaker 5: think about something. With men, I feel like it's so
• 5:59
  Speaker 5: much more transactional, like they're not getting in there.
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: I mean, I have men in here so you can
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: if I'm wrong. It's more mechanical.
• 6:06
  Speaker 5: It's more like this, like I need to just get
• 6:08
  Speaker 5: get get the poison out. Where For women it's so
• 6:12
  Speaker 5: it's so much so it's like we I can't it's
• 6:15
  Speaker 5: hard for us to understand each other because it's just
• 6:18
  Speaker 5: it's like two separate planets, do you know what I mean?
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: But what I don't understand is if she's offering to
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: be there for his needs twenty four to seven. Why
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: does he not take advantage of that?
• 6:32
  Speaker 4: Up, do not wake me up?
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: I'm saying she cares enough about this to say, like,
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: wake me up in the middle of the night and
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: I will do what you need me to do. And
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: he's still taking this fantasy like option over that, which
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: I don't like.
• 6:53
  Speaker 5: I see it's I don't think it's fantasy like for
• 6:55
  Speaker 5: men then, and he gets fantasy like for women then.
• 6:59
  Speaker 4: Why, I guess.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: I guess I don't get why you want to take
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: the real thing over what you're watching on a screen.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: That's hard for me too, because I would always take
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: the real thing if it were up to me.
• 7:09
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean to defend the dude, I guess. Masturbating
• 7:15
  Speaker 6: and sex with another person are very different experiences, Like
• 7:19
  Speaker 6: they are very different parts of your of you know,
• 7:21
  Speaker 6: your sexuality, and uh, like, I don't think that you know,
• 7:26
  Speaker 6: I don't think that you shouldn't you should never master
• 7:29
  Speaker 6: ate if you're like in a committed relationship. I think
• 7:31
  Speaker 6: that's all she says that, like, oh, just wake me
• 7:35
  Speaker 6: up and I'll handle it. I don't think she would
• 7:37
  Speaker 6: actually like that if.
• 7:38
  Speaker 4: That happened, but I would call that bluff.
• 7:41
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean, uh, that's what I think is happening.
• 7:45
  Speaker 6: And also I think the dude is probably like, well,
• 7:48
  Speaker 6: I mean it's what.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: One in the morning.
• 7:50
  Speaker 6: Now, I'm like, like, I just kind of want to
• 7:51
  Speaker 6: get this hand, you know, it's all he's like lighting
• 7:55
  Speaker 6: candles and like putting up a picture of doing.
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: Kind of like shower after I don't know, that's my story.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: I just like to look on your face sometimes after
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: you say things that I receive.
• 8:08
  Speaker 5: Like sometimes I'm like, like, you know, if he wants
• 8:10
  Speaker 5: to and I and I'm like, I just don't want
• 8:12
  Speaker 5: to shower, I'll just be like, let me.
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: Just let me help you here, you know. Yeah, I
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: guess I just don't.
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: I might relate to her because I grew up with this,
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: like a very strong viewpoint on poorn, like a very
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: conservative Christian mindset on it, So it feels a lot.
• 8:26
  Speaker 4: I think it'll.
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: Always feel heavier to me than like it is for Like,
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: I think I think it is heavy for some people,
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: like I do think it becomes a problem for some people.
• 8:35
  Speaker 5: But I also think there is something to be said
• 8:37
  Speaker 5: about having that conversation, being honest about how you feel him,
• 8:40
  Speaker 5: having an honest conversation about how he feels and then
• 8:43
  Speaker 5: maybe just understanding it.
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: There's there's it is what it is? You know what
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: I mean?
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: That's what I was gonna say. Is it really?
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: Is it affecting you in your relationship? Or have you
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: been told that it does affect you in your relationship?
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: It's bad?
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: And then's wrong?
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah? And does it come up because you're like, hey,
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: shall we and he's like, oh, sorry, I a problem? Right,
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: all right, we move on.
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: I feel like we did with that nail that let's.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: Step away, shall we?
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, we got to regroup post breakup words of encouragement.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: No, no, all right, we're back and we are keeping
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: the pace on this.
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: That's right, Mark, take it away.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: We're moving along to Sophia. I'm six months post breakup
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: with someone who's been four years with and thought I
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: was gonna spend the rest of my life before being
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: blindsided with a breakup due to quote social incompatibilities. He's
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: very extroverted and social. I had trouble becoming close with
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: his friends, while he became very close with my friends.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: I turned thirty four in a few weeks, and I'm
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: feeling so much pressure to put myself back out there
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: even when I feel so heartbroken and devastated by this loss.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: I'm going to therapy, I started piano lessons. I've been
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: working really hard on trying new things and battling my
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: social anxiety, but I still feel so sad. I tried
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: getting back on dating apps and maybe feel worse. I'm
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: looking for words of encouragement of ways that you've healed
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: and come out on the other side of a breakup
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: feeling stronger.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: I think that you are not ready to put yourself
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: back out there, and I think that's okay to not
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: feel like you immediately need to get on the dating
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: apps and go on dates, like regardless of turning thirty four.
• 10:38
  Speaker 4: Like it sounds like you need to let yourself heal.
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: It sounds like you're trying to find new things that
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: you love and you're doing things for yourself, and I
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: think that is such a beautiful thing to focus on
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: during this time, because you might not be ready to
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: give your heart to someone again just yet, And that's okay.
• 10:54
  Speaker 5: On the flip side, it's a numbers game, and you're
• 10:59
  Speaker 5: not if you're sitting on your couch and you're not
• 11:00
  Speaker 5: meeting anyone and you're not going to meet anyone, you know,
• 11:05
  Speaker 5: So I say, get back out there. It's a numbers game.
• 11:08
  Speaker 5: Just keep them coming. But masturbation is a beautiful thing. Sure,
• 11:12
  Speaker 5: I have a great time with you, and it makes
• 11:14
  Speaker 5: you more confident.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: I'm glad that we have a theme. But I think that, uh,
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: dating apps can be depressing, and I get it as
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: soon as you open it up, Like I never wanted
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: to be on these again. I thought I was done
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: with this nonsense. So maybe don't do the dating apps,
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: but you still got to get out there.
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: I'm all for that end.
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: But live your.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: Life, join social groups, play in anxiety. Well that's true.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: I don't know that's a good point.
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, dating apps are made.
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: For her, but she's trying new things to work on
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: the and I think that doing things for herself and
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: meeting new people could lead to her meeting someone. And
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: I don't think that getting on the apps. I think
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: if she was like I've tried everything, I just want
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: to meet someone. I want to go on dates. But
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: I don't think she wants to go on dates right now.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: I think she's feeling sad and she's going through heartbreak.
• 12:06
  Speaker 4: I haven't known you six months past a breakup.
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: So what do you mean.
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: I haven't known you out of a four year relationship
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: six months at that point. I know you for the
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: trigger event and that was not you.
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: Never knew me after Arizona guy. Oh wow, she was
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: a pill day crying. But yeah she got back on
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: the horse. Let me tell you many horses.
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: She did get on.
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: Those horses.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: But I feel like there's a lot of tears and sadness, heartbreak, rejection. Yeah,
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: I personally say, don't do that. I think your heart
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: needs to heal. I think you're doing what you need
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: to do for yourself. I think you work on going
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: to things that aren't a romantic environment to challenge yourself
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: with your social anxiety and and learn to love yourself
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: so that when the time comes, you're ready to give
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: that love to something you knew.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: And also, don't you have to get into the mindset
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: of that wasn't him. He's still out there. That wasn't it.
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: And maybe you dodged a bullet because that wasn't it.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: What if you married the guy that wasn't it?
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: Maybe he still is it.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: Oh, don't do that to her.
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: What maybe he is?
• 13:17
  Speaker 5: I hated when everybody said that to me, he broke
• 13:20
  Speaker 5: up with you, it's over. I'm like, but it's not.
• 13:22
  Speaker 5: Inside me, I know it's not over.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: But she needs to move on. You can't. You can't
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: hang on that true facts.
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: So I'm just saying it could it could be this guy.
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: We don't know, That's what I'm saying.
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: I don't think she needs to rush out there and date.
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: I don't think she's she wants that. I think she wanted.
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: I think she still wants it to be this guy.
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: And I think that in the right now it's it's
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: not him.
• 13:47
  Speaker 5: Having a healthy mindset around it, I think is key
• 13:50
  Speaker 5: if you're dating. If you have a mindset of I
• 13:54
  Speaker 5: had to start dating again, that would be me, then
• 13:57
  Speaker 5: the dates are going to suck. If you have the
• 13:59
  Speaker 5: mindset of, like I have to start dating again, I
• 14:01
  Speaker 5: want to find someone and I want to spend my
• 14:02
  Speaker 5: life with someone. So here we go such a different
• 14:05
  Speaker 5: mind I know.
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: But I think you were just ready to find someone.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: I think you were ready for that phase of your
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: life to meet someone and settle down.
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: Correct, And I think she is as well.
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: Is going to be her guy for four years and
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: it wasn't him, So she's having to grieve the thought
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: of it not being the person she had planned her
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: life with.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: And isn't the mentality also now that we have to
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: get into this whole work on yourself therapy, great the
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: reason best person of you and good things will come.
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: The whole reason he into things is because there was
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: this incompatibility of her not wanting to be social. So
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: work on being social. Put yourself out there, see what people.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: He might come back and you might be like, I
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: don't want you anymore. I've moved on.
• 14:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so this is the time to work on yourself.
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and masturbate a little.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: Okay, sure, Anonymous.
• 14:58
  Speaker 5: It gives you the what am I trying to say?
• 15:00
  Speaker 5: It gives you the mojo?
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: H it does?
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: High Mark Eastern Beka, Tanya, look at me with the
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: top building there. Thank you very much, Anonymous. My boyfriend
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: and I have a lot of friends in another city.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: We visit a few times a year, but while we're there,
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: we stay with our best friends. They're a married couple
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: and they insist we stay with them because they have
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: a great house with plenty of room in a large
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: guest suite and they miss us since we moved away.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: But their gaft bed sucks. The mattress is lumpy and
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: it's caving in, and the pillows are too thick, and
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: less time we slept there, my or ring said, I
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: got nine minutes of rem it's.
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: That bad that would send me What.
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: Would you do? Would you risk offending them by telling
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: their bed sucks or getting an airbnb instead? And do
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: we suck it up? They are by far our best
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: friends and have by far the most space to host us,
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: so staying with someone else doesn't make any sense.
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: You guys, the money that you would spend on an airbnb,
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: buy them a mattress.
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: Hey, Hey, they're your best friends.
• 15:52
  Speaker 5: Like if I spent them at Becca's house and it
• 15:53
  Speaker 5: was horrible sleep, I'd be like, Becca, you need a
• 15:55
  Speaker 5: new mattress because that thing is wha I think.
• 15:57
  Speaker 4: I would tell my friend be like, yeah, that's rough.
• 16:01
  Speaker 4: Have you ever slept in that bad that?
• 16:04
  Speaker 5: I would send you a screenshot of my aura rings
• 16:07
  Speaker 5: and say, look what you did to me?
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: Are they sensitive? Because I feel like this is a
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: funny conversation to.
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: Have, But I also feel like you could be like, hey,
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: since we're the ones staying there, when we come visit,
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: we'll go have these with you, Like, let's go if.
• 16:20
  Speaker 4: Your bestie of in yourself a new mattress.
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, nine minutes of rhyme is criminal.
• 16:26
  Speaker 4: That makes me want to throw I would throw up.
• 16:27
  Speaker 4: I'd be so sick from that.
• 16:29
  Speaker 5: If I wake up with less than twenty percent of REM,
• 16:31
  Speaker 5: it's not a good day.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: I think you get to I think you make it
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: seem like it's something serious. Okay, we have to have
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: a talk. We love you guys, but we need to talk. WHOA,
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: what's going on? Oh my gosh, have you there? They haven't,
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: you know they haven't.
• 16:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: I think it's I think it's funny. I think you
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: make it work.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: You could say, hey, if you're if you don't feel
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: good about doing that, can we sleep in your bed
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: and y'all can sleep in the trade visit.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but I like the idea going in on a
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: bed with him done.
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: Or just like get some bed bugs and slip them
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: in there and be like, oh my gosh, you have
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: bed bugs.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: That feels terrible idea?
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: How a bad idea?
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: We should have ended it online.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: From a Mama to Bee Hi, Becca, Tana Easton and
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: Mark Okaya got top billing and Tany was misspelled. So
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: I'm the matron of honor and my friend's wedding and
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: currently planning her bachelorette party, and I just found out
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: I'm pregnant. I'll be about ten weeks a long at
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: the bachelorette party, but I'm not sure I want to
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: tell anybody at that point. I can hide drinking at
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: the Airbnb, but worry how I can manage this at
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: the wine tastings I have planned that is more challenging.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: Should I tell the bride and have her help me cover?
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: I don't want to make it a big thing and
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: be about me, so I'm hesitant. I'll be about thirty
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: six weeks pregnant at her wedding, which also makes me nervous.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: What should I do?
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: One hundred percent you should tell the bride.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: I definitely think you should tell the bride, and I
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: think you just say, hey, I, this is the only
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: thing that this that I'm going to tell you that
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: will be about me this weekend because I need you
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: to know.
• 17:59
  Speaker 4: But I she's gonna be so.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: Excited for you, first of all, Yeah, but also just say,
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: I'm not ready to tell everybody, so I just want
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: you to know why I'm not going to be drinking
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: at the wine tastings and you know, help if you
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: can help me cover it up without letting anyone know.
• 18:14
  Speaker 5: My tasting's a tough one because it's like I'm like
• 18:17
  Speaker 5: nobody's really I don't feel like nobody notices that somebody's
• 18:19
  Speaker 5: not drinking unless you make a point to be like, no,
• 18:22
  Speaker 5: not drinking.
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: I feel like a lot of places they maybe have
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: non alcoholic wine, like I had a non alcoholic champagne
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: or like a maybe they have like a sparkling cider
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: or something that you can sip on so it doesn't
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: look like just water in a glass.
• 18:36
  Speaker 5: Yeah, but yeah, maybe get the wine cellar.
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, call them and see if they have anything, or
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: you bring some of your own and they can serve
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: that tea.
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, just like, hey, I'm pregnant and I haven't told anybody.
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: You can help a sister out.
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a good idea. And she's
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: gonna be thirty six weeks at her wedding.
• 18:55
  Speaker 5: That makes me notice too, feels very tight. Yeah across
• 19:01
  Speaker 5: that bridge when we get there.
• 19:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, yeah, let's talk in thirty six weeks.
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that feel good. Next Mark next time.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: Here we go from anonymous. I've been a lawyer listening
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: to your podcast. I appreciate the thoughtful advice you give.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: I related to a listener who recently wrote in about
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: struggling to communicate the need for alone time to their partner.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: I'm thirty three, I'm engaged. We've been together six years.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: He has an amazing relationship with my ten year old son.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: We built a great life together. He is loving, he
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: always wants to be around me. He's a great communicator.
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: I love him so much. But why do I feel
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: like he's more into me than I'm into him? Is
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: it normal for one person in the relationship to be
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: on a higher scale than the other. I value my
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: alone time. While he respects that, I don't think he
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: truly gets it. I even get excited when he goes
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: on work trips so I can have some space. I
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: struggle with this nagging thought, and it's exactly what Beca
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: said to this previous listener. Maybe he isn't my person.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: The thought of ending this relationship kills me because it
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: would ruin our family, and my son would be devastated,
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: as well as my friends and family. I feel crazy
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: for even half having these thoughts and my overthinking and
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: self sabotaging. What is wrong with me? Any advice would
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: be appreciated.
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: I just have one thing to say.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: Here comes Tana, Here she comes.
• 20:10
  Speaker 5: If you're questioning not being in this relationship because it's
• 20:14
  Speaker 5: gonna hurt your son and your family, that's momentary versus
• 20:18
  Speaker 5: your life, your life, your life, yeah, and your forever.
• 20:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: With that being said, I think that there's a lot
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: of people who would resonate with this. I also don't
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: have kids, so I don't know the dynamic of like
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: always having a child who is like needing you constantly
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: and like you're having to give, give, give, and then
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: also having a partner who's like needing a lot from
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: you and you're having to give, give, give, So I
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: don't know that I really am able to like chime
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: in on this. I just feel like I always thought.
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: I mean, you can listen to old episodes of the
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: podcast where I was like, I want to date someone
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: who travels so that I can have my owlone time,
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: And now when Haley and I have spent any time
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: a part I'm like miserable. So I do know that
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: there's a world where you can where you don't feel
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: this way.
• 21:13
  Speaker 5: I think, yeah, and you're speaking the wrong girl, because
• 21:17
  Speaker 5: I need no space.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: Well that's the thing. So I think she would regret
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: ending this relationship. I think she's overreacting to these feelings
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: she's having. I think everything's actually fine. Patti Rodriguez, remember Patty, Yes,
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: she used to work here. She had a theory that
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: the healthiest relationships the woman is a no, the guy
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: is a little bit more into the woman than vice versa.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: And I think there is something to this theory. I
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: think those are the best relationships. I don't know, I
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: don't know. I can't explain it, but I think she's right.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: I think it's okay that he's a little bit more
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: into you. Now, if that becomes a gap, a big chasm,
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: then we got a real problem. But I think it's okay.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: I think everything is okay here. Everything I read on
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: this thing is okay. And as long as you're not
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: feeling a need to escape the relationship, you just need
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: some time every once in a while, I think everything's fine.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: She said, I value my alone time, and while he
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: respects that, I don't think he truly understands that. So
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: maybe it's a conversation of really explaining to him that
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: when you get what you need, which is your time
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: by yourself, you're going to be able to give more
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: to him and show up better in the relationship. And
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: maybe he feel like maybe he's like, oh, yeah, I
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: get it, you need your alone time, but like, maybe
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: you really solidify what that looks like and block it
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: out in your schedule where you have time to where
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: you do something just by yourself. Do you think do
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: you feel like Robbie's more obsessed with you than you
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: are with him, or do you find it to be equal.
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: I think you're more obsessed than he is with you.
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: Really, I don't.
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: I just but you only see me. He's pretty obsessed
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: with me.
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: I do find him to be pretty obsessed with her,
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: like weirdly okay, but so I think we're pretty equally
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: obsessed with each other.
• 23:01
  Speaker 5: But I feel like I've never been the type of
• 23:03
  Speaker 5: person that needs space right just in general, I'm not
• 23:06
  Speaker 5: like a space neater when he's out of town, when
• 23:10
  Speaker 5: we're apart, I'm not like devastated door cra correct.
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: I'm fine. I like, I do enjoy it.
• 23:17
  Speaker 5: I'll like sit in a song, I'll do my workouts,
• 23:20
  Speaker 5: so I'm not like sad, but I don't like need it,
• 23:23
  Speaker 5: Like I'm not like go right right, just not me.
• 23:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Like I.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: Think it's human to enjoy doing your own thing by yourself.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: Like I don't think that that means that he's not
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: your person just because you need that time for yourself
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: and I I just think that if you're only with
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: him because you don't want your son or family or
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: friends to be sad, that's something to think about.
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: I'm still thinking about Mark's judgment of my relationship.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: I know I'm not.
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: I have felt like I always felt that about Tom,
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: but then I've seen like the way he responds to
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: her text and how he speaks to her and like
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: the things that he does, and I'm like, oh, I
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: think he's.
• 24:09
  Speaker 4: I think it's a very equal obsession.
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he's just not as vocal.
• 24:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah, we don't have a podcast where he talks about it.
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: Right, But like I do like say same, Like he'll
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: say things and I'm just like what it looks like.
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: I would say, yeah, it's it's pretty cute.
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: It is pretty cute.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: But I just asked him, so good, how did you
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: phrase it?
• 24:29
  Speaker 5: Do you think I'm obsessed with you more or you're
• 24:31
  Speaker 5: obsessed with me more.
• 24:33
  Speaker 4: That's such a great I would say it's equal.
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: I would say it's pretty equal. That's what I think
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: he's going to say. Okay, what do you all think he's.
• 24:41
  Speaker 4: Going to say.
• 24:41
  Speaker 6: Yeah, he's going to be like right down the middle.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: I think he's gonna be a new phone.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: Who is I think I'll say fifty to fifty or equal?
• 24:50
  Speaker 4: Okay, did we do give you good advice on Yeah?
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: I think we did. He's really expert.
• 24:56
  Speaker 4: But she's a fiance, so like this.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: Is marry him. We won't regret it. Wow, that's my advice.
• 25:02
  Speaker 5: He said, I think it's equal. Mind's more quiet obsession,
• 25:05
  Speaker 5: Yours is more blatant.
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: Blatant. That's your autobiography right there, Laton really obsessed.
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: I've got three dots. I'm not sure if there's more
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: than well, you know what.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: We'll find out the rest.
• 25:42
  Speaker 4: Right, we're back. Did we get an update?
• 25:44
  Speaker 5: We've got an update. So the first part was I
• 25:46
  Speaker 5: think it's equal. Mind's more quiet obsession, years is more blatant.
• 25:49
  Speaker 5: And he said, like, I don't stare at you while
• 25:51
  Speaker 5: we're watching TV, but in my mind, I'm obsessed that
• 25:54
  Speaker 5: I just get to lay next to you.
• 25:56
  Speaker 4: Oh, I'm so cute.
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: I know I can't handle it.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: All right, great, all right, one more? We got two more?
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: Last one? Do the last one?
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: No?
• 26:08
  Speaker 4: We got two more?
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: Oh we do?
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: I No.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: I'm asked my husband as a new colleague that I
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: am not a fan of if. I met her once
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: and she was nice, but my husband told me about
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: something else she said to him, and it rubbed me
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: the wrong way. At a reason lunch meeting, he went
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: to shake her hand, and she responded by saying, oh, no,
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: we're on a hug basis now. I told him that
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: I would like him to set some boundaries as well
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: as not hug her. He said he has, but it's
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: hard not to hug her when everyone else in the
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: office is hugging. No, I personally don't hug my colleagues,
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: but I do understand some people hug after they've known
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: each other for some time. Is my request ridiculous?
• 26:39
  Speaker 4: Oh?
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: This is so hard because I totally get her side
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: of being like, set the boundaries, But.
• 26:47
  Speaker 4: I totally get him being at work being like, I
• 26:50
  Speaker 4: can't hug you.
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: Right, I'm this girl, I am the hugger girl.
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: Me too. I'm a hugger as well, and it makes
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: me think I need to be aware of who I'm hugging.
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, yeah, I hug everyone.
• 27:04
  Speaker 4: How does he set the boundary now that they've established
• 27:08
  Speaker 4: a hug?
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: He can't.
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: He can't, But also can he just avoid it? Can
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: he just be like hey, kind of walk past her,
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: like there's nobody's in a hugg but.
• 27:15
  Speaker 4: She's like, come here, You're not getting by without a hug.
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: No, But you can also be like, oh, I'm a
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: little sick fist bump.
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: Maybe tiny's the huggiest person I know, but she didn't
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: hugg me every day. We hug before we leave for Christmas,
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: you know, like I'm bra it's not much more than that, Like, oh,
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to see it for a few weeks,
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: have a good time, you know. That sort of thing
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: is a no.
• 27:35
  Speaker 5: But like not daily at work, but like if if
• 27:37
  Speaker 5: we have like a jingle ball or festival, hug you
• 27:39
  Speaker 5: when I see you at.
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: Like something like that out in the wild.
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, So it's like.
• 27:44
  Speaker 5: Less in the office more if I see you outside
• 27:47
  Speaker 5: the office.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: Yes, So I think maybe this will fizzle out because
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: she can't keep that forever. Hugging every person every day.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: If she if for whatever reason, the wife's feeling is correct,
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: and this woman has ill and and she does make
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: an effort to hug him every day, doesn't matter.
• 28:04
  Speaker 4: But she doesn't.
• 28:05
  Speaker 5: Trust her husband, I mean at the end of the day,
• 28:08
  Speaker 5: and like, yeah, there's some certain things he can do.
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: You don't think he should be like, hey, like I
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: I want to be respectful to my relationship.
• 28:18
  Speaker 5: No weird, it would make her look weird to his coworkers.
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: I think yes, And I.
• 28:26
  Speaker 5: Don't care she doesn't want to have and I don't
• 28:29
  Speaker 5: think it's a look that you want your husband to
• 28:31
  Speaker 5: have with his colleagues that like, I can't hug you
• 28:33
  Speaker 5: because my husband thinks my wife thinks it's weird.
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: Okay, So the advice is you try to just avoid it.
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: Otherwise you just trust him and know that it's just
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: I'll ask.
• 28:44
  Speaker 5: Him to just say like, hey, I'm a little sick,
• 28:45
  Speaker 5: fist bump and maybe that.
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: But also, it doesn't matter what her intentions are. If
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: you trust your husband, it doesn't matter if you hug
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: you once in a while at work. It's not the
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: end of the world. I don't think.
• 28:54
  Speaker 4: I mean, I don't know. I think I think men
• 28:57
  Speaker 4: are easily seduced to do really yes.
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: Really, yes, it's still on him, I know, but if
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: he could set the boundary of not hugging someone that
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: makes his wife uncomfortable.
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: But we should get into that this men are easily seduced.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: That's interesting what you said, because it also puts the
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: blame not on him.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: I think it's I think there's equal parties. But I
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: think she doesn't care about his The woman coming in
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: does not care about.
• 29:29
  Speaker 4: His marriage or his wife. True, she doesn't care.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: That might be overstating it. Though she's just a hugger
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: like Tanya hugs me. Doesn't mean she doesn't care about
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: my wife.
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: No, but I'm saying that she's not gonna like think
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: about like Tonya is not hugging you, thinking like, oh
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: it's Mark's wife.
• 29:45
  Speaker 4: She's just like, oh I love Mark, I'm gonna hug Mark.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah right right.
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: So but I'm saying, if there's ill intention in that,
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: then she's like I don't.
• 29:53
  Speaker 4: Care, like I like this guy.
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 29:56
  Speaker 4: Fact, wait, I ca I'm in with ill.
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: That's the example is me. But let's just go with it.
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: But I'm saying, if you're if you were not with
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: Robbie and you had ill intentions and you wanted Mark,
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: then you coming into hug.
• 30:12
  Speaker 4: Mark, what is just would be like you?
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: You wouldn't be like, oh no, I'm worried about what
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: his wife thinks.
• 30:21
  Speaker 4: Facts, you would just be like but it doesn't.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: I don't. I'm just saying, it doesn't matter if the husband,
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: If you trust your husband and he's a reliable guy,
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: nothing ever as bad as going to happen. People's thoughts
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: are people's thoughts.
• 30:31
  Speaker 4: Facts, I agree. I'm just saying I there's a lot
• 30:35
  Speaker 4: of facts being thrown.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: Out my wife when we first started dating, even I
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: was in an improv goog call comedy sports and improv
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: people tend to be this way, and so every time
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: you showed up for a show, everybody hugged everybody, and
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: that took her a minute like, Okay, this is weird
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: because she wasn't raised like that, she wasn't like that
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: with her friends. So it was bizarre to her that
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: every guy and girl in the room got a hug
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: when I arrived, and then the next person arrives hug hug, hug,
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: zug hugs it's weird. So I understand where she's coming
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: from if it's not her way of being, but they
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: get too.
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: I totally get it. I get the uncomfortableness.
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: So your question is not ridiculous. Dance your question.
• 31:08
  Speaker 4: No, I don't think you're ridiculous.
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: I just think it's an uncomfortable situation for everyone involved.
• 31:14
  Speaker 4: Now, yeah, maybe for future people coming in.
• 31:19
  Speaker 3: I just say, like germs like it's no.
• 31:23
  Speaker 5: I used to be such a hugger before COVID, and
• 31:25
  Speaker 5: I feel like since COVID, I've become like way less
• 31:27
  Speaker 5: of a hugger.
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: Hugging was fine during COVID because your germs are going
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: out the back whatever.
• 31:32
  Speaker 4: It all just actually felt safer than the handshake.
• 31:35
  Speaker 6: Sure did you see on Dancing with the Stars of
• 31:37
  Speaker 6: the first episode, the palm moll Horseky I can remember
• 31:40
  Speaker 6: his name, but he they showed him in the package
• 31:42
  Speaker 6: like the pro was like, I'm a hugger, and he's like,
• 31:45
  Speaker 6: I'm a shaker the handout.
• 31:47
  Speaker 4: He has a girlfriend, and I like that cool? What
• 31:51
  Speaker 4: are your where are your thought?
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: No one's watching Dancing with the Time. Although we should,
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: I feel.
• 32:01
  Speaker 6: I mean, you shouldn't have to hug everybody damn like
• 32:05
  Speaker 6: you know, like, uh, just because someone wants to hugg
• 32:07
  Speaker 6: he doesn't mean you have to do it.
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: Alison said, I I feel weird about Becca and I
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: don't want you hugging her.
• 32:15
  Speaker 4: And but we had already established that we hug What
• 32:17
  Speaker 4: would you do so hard?
• 32:18
  Speaker 6: I'd have to say I.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: Was just I was just carefully deflected.
• 32:24
  Speaker 6: I guess I wouldn't say I was sick, but I'd
• 32:25
  Speaker 6: be like, you come in for the hug, and I'd
• 32:27
  Speaker 6: have to put out the fist or.
• 32:30
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, it's just weird, like because if he said
• 32:34
  Speaker 5: that to you, if he's just like my wife doesn't
• 32:35
  Speaker 5: really want me hugging other girls, like.
• 32:39
  Speaker 4: I mean, I guess I would be more like, oh,
• 32:41
  Speaker 4: I get it. Respect respect her.
• 32:45
  Speaker 3: I'd be like, I'm not trying to hit on you.
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah if go maniac.
• 32:51
  Speaker 6: If my wife said that, I wouldn't put it on her.
• 32:53
  Speaker 6: I'd be like, Hey, I you know I'm not really
• 32:56
  Speaker 6: hugging kind of guy.
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: Can we.
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: Okay? Okay, great, I'm not gonna yeah, all right. We
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: didn't pay some one my bad, but we didn't all agree,
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: which that helped.
• 33:12
  Speaker 4: That hurts with the pacing.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: True, all right, what more from Rico. Firstly, I wanted
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: to say, you guys did an amazing job at Epicon.
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: I hope there's another crossover with call it what it is. Secondly,
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: so obviously, well, we all know if Banya was a
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: real human, she would be exuding modern woman energy. But
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: what else should we know about her? What does she
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: look like? What's her personality? What is her line of work?
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: Is she single? Dating? Mary? Divorce? Does she? And the men?
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: Women are both can't wait to hear more about Bonya
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: the person I love you all? Well we know it's
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: a hat.
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Bonya has a cone shaped hat on a bonnet
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: shaped wool hat. She has brownish blondish hair, is bron
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: she's a bronde.
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: She's a brond blue eyes. Sure about mid tit length, the.
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: Old mid tip mid length, Yeah, yeah, the old md L.
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: I'd say she's.
• 34:10
  Speaker 4: I would say she's like.
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: A dear abby like call uh, she like writes in
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: the she's a journalist.
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: Oh, journalists to a scientists because she's smart.
• 34:21
  Speaker 4: No, no, no, she's a journalist. She's a good writer.
• 34:23
  Speaker 4: She gives advice.
• 34:24
  Speaker 5: Okay, yeah, fine, she's into men and women's yea into both. Yeah,
• 34:29
  Speaker 5: she's uh more about the person.
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: She's dating, married or divorced or single dating I would
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: say dating too.
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's about she has like cool style.
• 34:44
  Speaker 4: She's like cool girl.
• 34:45
  Speaker 3: She's a cool girl. But she can also get down
• 34:47
  Speaker 3: on like sweats.
• 34:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah you know nice. Yeah, we got really creative with these.
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: And uh.
• 34:55
  Speaker 5: She enjoys eyebrow, jel okay and gold hoots and her dogs.
• 35:03
  Speaker 3: Loves her dog, loves her dogs.
• 35:04
  Speaker 4: She has a and yes, multiple dogs. She has a palm.
• 35:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 35:12
  Speaker 5: Wants children, go either way, either way. Wants to get married.
• 35:26
  Speaker 4: But anyway. She's a good gal. She's the best gal. Yeah,
• 35:29
  Speaker 4: we have no notes for old Banya.
• 35:32
  Speaker 3: Everybody wants to be friends with Bonya.
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, everyone wants to be they everyone comes to Bonya.
• 35:37
  Speaker 5: Yes, she's like the neighbor that everybody borrows sugar from.
• 35:41
  Speaker 3: Yes, watches your dog when you leave town.
• 35:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah, she's there for you.
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: Stalks your ex when you don't need to look. She
• 35:50
  Speaker 3: does it all.
• 35:50
  Speaker 4: She does it all. That's one thing about Bonya.
• 35:52
  Speaker 3: And that's one thing about her.
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: Bonnie Oh yeah, Bonnie for short, well not for short,
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: that's just her nickname.
• 35:59
  Speaker 5: For sure.
• 36:03
  Speaker 4: That should be your grandma name.
• 36:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I like it. It's cute.
• 36:09
  Speaker 4: Sister. Oh no, what was that so called.
• 36:11
  Speaker 6: Buying Secrets of the Sister.
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know what.
• 36:15
  Speaker 4: Really came out quick. Well, that's it for this week.
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: You guys and girls, we love you so much and
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: we hope you have a wonderful weekend.
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: Yes, we love you, Love you.