Latest / Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home / Mike Ferriter - How A Former Football Coach Became A More Present Dad

Transcript

Mike Ferriter - How A Former Football Coach Became A More Present Dad · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_05: Hey everybody, it's KTJCOS with the quarterback.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_05: And I'm right here away from this.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_05: This is my dad yesterday.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_05: If you're new to this podcast, really it's simple.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_05: It's a podcast where we interview dads, we learn about how they were raised, we learn about the life lessons that were important to them, we learn about the values that are important to them, and really we learn about how we can work hard to become a better quarterback or leader of our home.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_05: So let's sit back, relax, and listen to today's episode of the quarterback deck.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_05: We met at the lovely metropolis of Desert Air, Washington on a fantastic four-star golf course.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and these established themed Nathan Johnson uh made this connection.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_05: Uh his name is Mike Farretter.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_05: He's the Associate Director of Development in the athletics program at the mighty Harbor of the West Coast, being Central Washington University, where I'm a proud alum.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_05: He also is a Grizz.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_05: He's a running rebel, running, running rebel, but I I think he's a wild cat at heart.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_05: Um with all that said, he's also a former coach, too.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_05: He's about to enter his first season post sideline work.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_05: So we're interesting to see how that impacts him as a dad.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_05: But with all that said, we're here to talk to Mike Farger about Mike the Dad, learn more about how he's working hard to become an ultimate quarterback or leader of his household.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_05: Without further ado, Mike, welcome to the quarterback deck cast.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks for having me, Casey.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_02: I'm excited to be here.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_05: How about that intro?
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_02: That was great.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_02: It's all over the place.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_05: I know you asked for smoke and like some walk-up music, so I let you down.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_05: So my my apologies.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I thought it was great.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_02: You nailed it.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not I'm not that exciting, so it was perfect.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_05: Well, we always start out each episode with gratitude.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_05: So tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, everything.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_02: Um we woke up, I think first and foremost, we all woke up this morning.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_02: Uh we all got out of bed.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_02: I think every morning for me is fascinating because it's just it's just the struggle to get out of the house.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm and I'm grateful for that.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_02: I'm about 15 minutes late every day getting because of my kids and they all the things they gotta do.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_02: They gotta walk me into the car, and so I mean I'm just so grateful.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_02: That everyone, you know, because I know it's probably gonna change.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_02: I hope not, but it probably will.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_02: Um so no, I'm just mostly happy to be here and uh yeah, we all woke up.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_05: Good answer, man.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_05: I do gratitude journal every morning, and one of the first things I always write is God, thanks for waking me up today.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_05: And as corny as that might seem to people, it's like it's amazing how that impacts your mindset.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_05: Like, okay, today, whether and whether yesterday was a bad day, good day doesn't matter.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_05: Today's not another opportunity.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_05: I don't know if it's like football mindsets like next play up, like, so I just throw a pick, but hey, get back in the you got another chance.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_05: Um, I'll tell you what I'm grateful for.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_05: I'm on the other end of what you just talked about.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_05: I have I I left the house at 5.08 to do some old man exercise with five of my buddies.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_05: And I get so happy when I see four cars in the garage.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_05: And and we're recording in August 19th.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_05: The subsole come out here soon.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_05: But in less than two weeks, we're gonna have two cars in the garage.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_05: My son Ryder will be heading back down to Southern Oregon, and my daughter Riley will be heading over to Mighty Ellensburg.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and just gonna be we're like, I'm super excited and proud of the kids, but I'm also like super sad they're gonna be gone and just the noise in the house.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_05: And um, but I actually joke with Riley I said, Hey, you might see me on campus and just say, Oh, hey, what are you doing here?
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_05: Good hey, I didn't know you're here.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_05: What are you doing?
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_05: And just like run into your camp.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_05: So don't think I'm like some weird freaky dad just because I just missed my daughter.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_05: He says, Dad, you will not do that.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_05: I'm like, I'm joking, I'm not gonna do that.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_02: So anyway, we'll bring a safe place here with me.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_02: You can come in and just say hello to me at Central if you if you want to sneak around.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_02: Well, there we go.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_05: She's met Nate, so we've got to make sure she meets you too.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_05: Um we'll bring us inside the Farader Huddle.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_05: Talk talk about uh talk about how you and your wife met and uh and then talk about each member of the squad.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_02: Uh well my wife, Sierra.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_02: Um, she we've been married for six years, uh, but we've known each other oh 12 maybe.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_02: Um we actually met in in Vegas when I did my graduate school and G8 at UNLV, um, and she was a student at UNLV, uh, but we're both originally from the state of Montana.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_02: So we actually met on an airplane um going from Vegas or going from Montana back to Vegas uh after a winter break.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_02: Um just funny how it worked out.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_02: We we started talking to her in the in security, and we got paired up next to each other and sat next to each other on the airplane, and can't really say the rest is history, but it's kind of where it all started and it all began, and also it was a it was a big moment, right?
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_02: It was uh you know, six years later, after that, I mean ups and downs, coaching moves here and there, but uh you know we stuck stuck together through it all and yeah, I got married six years ago.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_02: Since then we started our little family.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_02: We have two children, my son Tig.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_02: He's four.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_02: He's awesome.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_02: Him and I, since he's been born, we've been we've been attached.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_02: We've been attached.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he's my guy.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_02: You know, first kid type of thing, first son.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_02: You know, just love him.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_02: He's super smart, super funny, creative, clever.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_02: Like he's kind of got like a he makes me laugh more than anybody.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_02: He knows he's kind of smart funny.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_02: And I don't, you know, I don't know how many four years old, four years old, four-year-olds.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_02: I'm obviously biased, but he just he just cracked.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_02: Um then we have a 20-month-old, I think we're still in the months now with uh daughter named Lily.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_02: And uh she's just as sweet as loves giving kisses, giving big hugs, and it's just been just uh becoming such a kind of this time where she's starting to become her own person, starting to see where my role in her life is starting to be.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_02: The moms, you know, we try to be present as much as we can as dads in the in those early parts of kids' lives, but there's not a whole lot we can do, but kind of as like 18 months or so, and you really kind of start to ingrain yourself in your life to be a big person.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm starting to kind of go through that, just finding out how awesome she is, how sweet, and just seeing the differences between the two, but the similarity that's been so cool.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, it it um be ready, man.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_05: You're gonna get all the cliches from older dads like me, but it goes fast, dude.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_05: It'd be it goes, I cannot believe I'm gonna be an empty nester.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_05: It literally blows me away.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_05: But I gotta hear about this air airplane game.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_05: Or what was it like?
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_05: Hey, you ever been to TSA?
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_02: What was your pickup line to I don't know because it was it was so out of the ordinary for who I am.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_02: That's what that's what was the interesting about it, is like it was just completely like I wouldn't do that.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_02: Um so yeah, just talk to her, and it was actually like we didn't get seated next to each other.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_02: It was back when it was some airline we had where you gotta pick your own seats.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, and she was sitting first after we talked in TSC.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_02: I went and sat next to her, like not something I would have to do.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_05: Um who is this dude?
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_05: What's he doing?
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_02: Right, what a weirdo like for sure.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but then at the end of it, I didn't there was it was just kind of like a goodbye, we'll see you later, nice to meet you.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_02: There was no like exchange at one of them.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_02: But the reason for that is I through the through our talking, I found out that I knew her brother.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_02: Her brother was like not real close, but her brother also worked at at UNP at the time.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_02: And so I kind of was like, all right, I think that there's a way here without making me look too over the top.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like I had already pushed that limit already going and sitting next to her.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_02: Um and so really that's kind of what happened a few months later.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_02: We all kind of went out to to a place and her brother was there, and her brother said that he was gonna bring his sister along.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, there we go.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_05: I think that was a I think that was a strategic move winning the brother over first.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_05: Well played.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_05: It's like going to the dad first, or but I I also love these, I just love cool story.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_05: I literally interviewed somebody recently where he was he was divorced and he was walking on the beach, and he passed, he passed this girl on the you know, with her kids at the beach, and he's like, Hey, you want to come to we're having a bonfire, we're gonna do this stuff.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_05: You guys you should bring your kids.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_05: And he's like, She's like, What?
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_05: And they end up she ends up going, they end up getting married.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_05: Like random stuff like this.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_05: But um, I think it's cool.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_05: I think it's just fun learning.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_05: My my my story, my wife and I, we met actually in seventh grade.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_04: Oh wow.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_05: So long, long time ago.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_05: Um well, cool.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_05: Well, enjoy the the busyness.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_05: Um, sounds like you got great, great kids, a great wife too.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_05: But I want to I want to transition and go back to what was life like for you growing up in Montana, talk about the impacts of of mom and dad, and um share some of the the values they instilled in you.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I have I I I was blessed.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_02: I had a great childhood, I had a great upbringing.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_02: Really, really I'm grateful for that.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_02: I a big family, two brothers, two sisters, two-parent home.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_02: Dad was always dad coached all of our all of our sport teams.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_02: Um five kids.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_02: My mom became uh a stay-at-home mom.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_02: She was a teacher, um, became a stay-at-home mom, actually ran a daycare out of our house, uh, which was nice because I always had my friends and stuff out of the house.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_02: Ran the daycare there.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_02: And my dad was uh ultimately worked himself up.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_02: He was the director of the Department of Corrections for the state of Montana.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_02: Oh wow.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_02: And so um there was a little bit of I I get that a lot of like the discipline.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_02: Like, yeah, there was a this discipline there.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_02: But I feel like that was one of the biggest things my parents did is like there's a this level of discipline, but it wasn't ever fear-based discipline.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_02: It was just like you knew what right and wrong was and you wanted to and there was no there was there was never it was never threatening, it was just kind of what you wanted to be.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_02: Um so that's something that I thought about a lot of how do I what was that and how do how do you implement that in your kids' kind of stuff?
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_02: It was really good.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_02: And then yeah, like I said, five kids, all super close, and that was the other thing too, is our our family continued to stay to be very, very close, all of us and whatever that was, that design um I think was it was incredible to have seven people still close and talking once a week and get on the phone, get together, get a couple days.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_02: So you know, so that's what my life was.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_02: It was it was sports, it was school, it was you know, learning, it was working, it was working around the house, it was always doing stuff, it was it was never sitting around, but it was love, there's love and um you know you always felt that and you always knew that very blessed for my upbringing.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm right when you said department, when you said um director of corrections, I thought of Sha Shank Redemption.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_02: Is it like that type of like Yep so he was he oversaw like yeah, all the so it was a governor-based, uh governor-appointed position.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_02: And so yeah, he was uh oversaw the prisons, probation, parole, um, all of those things for the entire thing.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_05: It was probably like, hey, if I see you in this jail, you're you're you're out of the will.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_05: Don't be don't be don't be come visit me at work.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it was we never talked about it much, but you just knew.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_02: Like he he just had this kind of aura and still, I mean, he still has his aura.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_02: Just yeah, he's there, but there's different level of yeah, you don't really want to you don't really want to rub him the wrong way.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_05: No, uh yeah, I I I would feel that man.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_05: That's like that's that's yeah, I like how you just described it differently between fear and discipline.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_05: Um doing the right thing.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_05: Like you just and sometimes that's always sometimes gonna be tougher to learn for some people, but um usually through pain.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_05: But like I think it's it's cool that you can remember as you as you reflect back.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_05: Um now were were your dad, mom, and were they athletes?
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_02: They were, um, not not collegiately.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_02: Um my dad was a it was it was a you know, he's always been so disappointed in me athletically because uh he was an offensive lineman.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_02: So disappointed that I played receiver in college, so um just always let him down.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_02: I wasn't good enough to be an offensive.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um but he was a very, you know, they both were athletes young.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_02: My dad had the opportunity to go play in college, but kind of like you, he had a high school sweetheart he decided to to uh to follow.
• 13:09
  unknown: Yeah.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_02: And uh I'm happy you made that choice.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_05: Do you think it was athletically disappointed or just good luck?
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_05: Because we know how the linemen are usually the most hottest guys in the team.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_02: I just I don't get it.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_02: I honestly yeah, I I I don't I don't get it.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_02: I've I've asked my mom that question lots of times what she was thinking, but after she did.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_05: Every time I uh I was joking with a buddy's dad who he played uh center at University of Oregon, and I was like, man, Deke, you look you look good, man.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_05: You've been hitting a sled.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_05: What have you been doing?
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_05: He's like, I do not want to touch another sled ever again.
• 13:45
  unknown: Yeah.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_05: But it's uh it's funny the the rib, but I mean I got mad respect for the lineman as a former quarterback, as you can probably imagine.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_05: Um okay, so doing the right thing, discipline.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_05: What what other values come to mind and maybe through like a story that if it of how you learned it, whether it's through hard work or being honest or doing the right thing, and then come to mind?
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I mean, yeah, there's a few things, and for some reason I distinctly remember like my dad coaching my football team in like sixth grade.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_02: I want to say sixth, sixth, seventh grade.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_02: He was just one of the coaches, and he was there, and he gave us this talk.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_02: And it's just one of those things that, like, where he talked on, he hit on two words.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_02: I want you all to understand the two words, and those two words were integrity and adversity.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_02: And it's like these are words that you're gonna want to know your whole life.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_02: And he went in, you know, into the details of integrity.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_02: And and it wasn't just me, it was my teammates, but those are things like I remember that as a sixth grader of those two things that he you know, he talked about these things at home, but it was like as a coach talking to me of this way about this right integrity, doing the right thing with no one's watching, and then adversity, these are the things you're gonna have to overcome.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_04: That's what we're trying to teach you here on the football.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_04: When you become a husband and a father, you're gonna have to deal with that.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_02: And this is when you're in sixth grade, and so that's something just for my dad as the coach of him, but also as the dad of me of getting so inselling some of the values, not only to me, but to my such a young.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, it's cool to it's cool as you reflect it to think about these things.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_05: And um, you know, versity, obviously, sports taught us, teaches a lot about adversity.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_05: And um, and when I was in corporate, I used to always ask, like, no matter how talented this perk he or she was, I'd always the first question I always wanted to know was um what out first I'd ask them, do you want to be right or do you want to get what you want?
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_05: What's more important in life?
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_05: Because I want to see if they haven't done an egomaniac.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_05: And and then once they pass that test, then I would say, talk about your biggest moment of adversity in life.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_05: And how are you gonna use that moment to get you through this next thing?
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_05: Because like if you don't like, I think that's what Central produces is gritty people.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_05: Like I have so many buddies I played with, and probably Montana's the same way.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_05: It's like you just learn to figure it, figure it out and grind, and you know, so I think it's it's cool that you know, what a what a great lesson that at that age to reflect back to think about um those stewards.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_05: Did you ever violate the integrity one growing up where you had to learn the hard way?
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'm sure.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, I was I was still just a kid, an adolescent boy.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_02: So but not anything, I'm sure.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, obviously I did something, but nothing that really jumped out as like because again, it was those lessons and those teachings and you know the wanting to do things the right way and not figuring out what the um were kind of the things that I was built on.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_05: When did you know from a a sports perspective that um well before I asked this question, did your sister brothers or sisters play sports in college too?
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_02: They did.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_02: I had my my three older siblings all were uh at some level in time were were college soccer.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_04: Oh wow.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_02: And then my youngest brother, he did not.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_02: He's now a medical doctor in Chicago.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, exactly.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_03: Not a not a bad choice.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_05: Um how did you miss did you play soccer too?
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_05: I did, yeah.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_05: And then but football, you had the football bug, and that was the route you chose.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, football was always I always loved football.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_02: You know, from from as long as I can remember, but you know, even talking to like my dad's really young.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_02: It's funny, uh, do you think you'll um encourage your son to play football?
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_02: That's a that's such an interesting question.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_02: I I really think I would wait till high school.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_02: You know, if he wants to, I'm definitely not gonna push it on him.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_02: But I do, I think I've seen enough that I think you can you can develop skills in other ways.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I think I would try I would try to hold him up fully.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_05: I get that question a lot too, just because like, why didn't you have your son play football?
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_05: I go, because he didn't beg me to play football.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_05: I knew at 12, I played soccer till I was 12, and I just wanted to play taco football so bad, like I begged and begged and begged my mom and then finally broke down.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_05: And I'm I remember getting my pads the first time, like barely knew how to put a frickin' girdle was, how to you know put stuff on.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_05: And me and my buddy just put the pads on.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_05: It was like doing the Oklahoma drill by ourselves.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_05: People don't know what the Oklahoma drills is it's it's probably a a drill that your your dad might do at the correction facility where you're just running 10 yards full speed and just beating the hell out of each other for no other reason.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_05: You know, no tackling form.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_05: Surprised we didn't paralyze ourselves.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_02: But they don't allow it anymore, actually.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_05: Good.
• 18:54
  unknown: Yeah.
• 18:55
  unknown: Good.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_05: Um, but I still I remember, but like back to my son, um, he did flag, which was so fun.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_05: I coached that because I could still like I coached the offense.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_05: We had these like crazy plays and stuff, and then my buddy coached the defense.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_05: But he never like begged to play tackle.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_05: And I sometimes I I don't know if I regret, I just wish I maybe would have pushed him a little bit because I know like football toughened me up, taught me about so me like things, but his path was golf.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_05: And you won't talk about a sport about diversity.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, even though it's not pain, but it's like mental pain of just you're by yourself, you know, as a quarterback.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_05: When I threw an interception, the whole freaking field knew it.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_05: When he misses a two-foot putt, that's on him.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_05: You know, and so I just try to like encourage him through that as like a dad, through like the birth even made me think of this as I always tell him buddy what whether you shoot 68 or 82, I want you to play well, but I don't care.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_05: What I care about is that you know that you're loved and the sun's gonna come up tomorrow, whether you whether you think it's not, but it will.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_05: Um, but I think it's it's a good reminder uh that I hope there's some dads listening at home that if you don't have these conversations about adversity, like maybe use my conversation mic today, everybody, to just think about how does adversity shape you and how can it help your kids.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_05: Because I think there's a lot of our parents today, we we try to coddle our kids too much and protect.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_05: And I don't know if you saw that as a coach, but it's or people you play with, but it you're gonna go through failure, so you might as well get used to it.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_05: Um so speaking of adversity, when I when we met on the golf course, um you shared some adversity you went through health-wise.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_05: Um I'm curious if you, you know, I'd love to if you for what you feel comfortable, share, share that story and then maybe talk about how it's gonna impact.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_05: How do you think it'll impact you as a dad?
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I just finished up playing college football uh at the University of Montana.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_02: It was a year out, and I was kind of sorting out what I what was next.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_02: Um I was a medical, I was a human biology major, things like that.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_02: But I I kind of decided to take a path, owned physical care.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_02: So I was at home just for a year, kind of navigating that space after college, and um long story short, I I found out that I had cancer.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um it had probably gone on for about six months too long from the first time I checked, and um went back to the doctor, you know, six months later and we we missed this the first time, and probably it's definitely cancer.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_02: We need to get this, we need to put you into surgery today and go from there.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_02: So um, yeah, they we we had surgery that that afternoon, um in which they you know that's the positive there is like it's an interesting way to look at it, like yeah, it's cancer, cancer, it's cancer, but like there's there's some better versions of it.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_02: Um and I would say I had a better version of cancer, right?
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_02: One because like you could take the tumor out, right?
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_02: It was tumor on the testicle and you could remove it, um, which is good.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um and it is it had It had spread at into my lymph and it had spread a little bit, but also through you know some pretty harsh and timely chemo, we're able to essentially be white.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_02: So I went through about a 12-week chemo uh phase in which you know it was it was the whole chemo works, lost all my hair.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_02: I used to actually be really blonde, but after chemo, and when my hair came back, it came back a lot darker, which was interesting.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_02: So, but yeah, I had to battle it.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_02: And I think when you're I was 24, you know, I just got done playing college football.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_02: So I was healthy, you know, like healthy, and then all of a sudden it gets old that it's cancer.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_02: And you don't think about like what it like, you think cancer, like and at least that's what I thought.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_02: Obviously, what that did to me and how that shaped me and kind of helped guide me the rest of the way was was huge because it made you for the first time it made me look at life and what life is and the fresh.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um you know, when you're 24 and you just got an you're not thinking, right?
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_02: You're on top of the world.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_02: But all of a sudden, like it brought me down to earth this is pretty it can be taken from us at any time.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_04: And if we're not grateful for what we have, and we're not grateful for waking up every day, um then I think you're a mistake.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_02: So obviously got through that.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_02: It's actually kind of what got me into the coaching path, which ultimately led me to everything, is I was in chemotherapy one time.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_02: Um I kind of like missed some windows because of this in order to pursue physical therapy.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_02: So I was there 24 years old, wondering how to do.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_02: And my old coach that I that coached me at the University of Montana was the new head coach at UNL.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_02: He called me while I was in, you know, remember it this day, I was getting chemo.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_02: Didn't feel great.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_02: You know, answered the phone and he just said, you know, what are you doing?
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_02: Trying to hang on.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_02: And he said, Well, when this is all taken care of, we have a graduate assistant for you.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_02: Um so coaching wasn't really anything I considered.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I yes, I know my dad would always say he knew I was gonna be a coach.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um but it was kind of like you're 24, you're my world just got turned upside down.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_02: Like, why not go roll the dice like in Vegas and try something out?
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_02: I'm still young, go live in Vegas, go do something different.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_02: And and so that's kind of what would led me on that path.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_05: Well, what do you what's the biggest thing other than like gratitude?
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_05: And maybe that's it.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_05: But is there is there anything else that through that journey of of you getting told you have cancer and then beating it?
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_05: Um what were like maybe the biggest lesson or biggest like mind mindset shift you had that you think you'll take into life as a as a dad?
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think being some of the probably the biggest impact on me was when you were in the cancer centers, you know, and the people that I met um who were also going through you know their own battles, and a lot of their battles were not gonna be as successful as mine.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I think it helped you to to see other people and understand that everyone has their own path and everyone is fighting their own fight, and you need to respect other people and and what they may be going through, whether you see them or not.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_02: Um because I you know I met people that were great, you know, in there and have these conversations, and then two weeks later you went back and and they were no longer.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_02: Um and so that was hard to un to again like in pick 24, like you should know some things, but you don't.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_02: To kind of get that like realization, yeah, this is this is real and this is all gonna be taken from us at some point.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_02: So better kind of better enjoy the ride a little bit.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_02: How how long was that journey of healing?
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um, from the cancer itself.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_02: It was you know, surgery, chemo.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_02: I had I had to go back um through for appointments for roughly a year after I was done.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um and then I think every six months for a while after that, and then they said once you got to five years, it was kind of like if you get cancer related to this one.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_04: And so that would have been in 15, 15 so years ago now.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_02: Um I think it also sorry, go ahead.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_05: No, go ahead.
• 26:45
  unknown: No.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_02: I think it was like at the time it was it was interesting too because you're 24 year old and and just this, you know, it this is a unique one, but just the surgery itself.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_02: Um you know, as a as a as a man, to have you know one of your testicles removed was a little bit of a you know, it shook you up a little bit too.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_02: Sure, yeah.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I think uh really it was it was kids, right?
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_02: Like, can I have kids?
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, the doctor at the time said, yeah, you have one, so you should be fine.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I never got it tested.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_02: I never, you know, I didn't know the conversation I had with my wife.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, she obviously knew.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_02: But it was like, you know, this is a do you like we both want to have kids?
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_02: Like, but this is a situation that like, you know, do you want me to be tested?
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_02: Like, so we know, so you can maybe take choose something differently.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and she said no.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_02: If if if we can't, then we can't, and and that's fine.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_02: So obviously, you only need one is what I found out.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_02: I have I have two two great kids now.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_05: So what a what a powerful thing your wife did just saying that.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, just as I think sometimes like I've talked to a lot of dads, and I think the the the power of a wife instilling belief in us as men, or knowing that they, hey, I'm betting on you, or even something like that, going through like, you know, sometimes our our ego or our self-insecurities or self-talk, we're like, oh my god, you know, she's not gonna want to be with me because this, but the fact that she didn't, I mean, that's freaking shout out to you, Sierra.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_05: What a powerful, I think, thing to say as I'm hearing your story.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, she's amazing.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, this is Kathy Ortone.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm the director of talent management at Co-Works Staffing Services.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_00: Co-works is one of the largest staffing firms in the United States.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_00: With operations in all 50 states, over 60,000 temporary field talent, we are devoted to the success and growth of our employees and our clients.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_00: We are celebrating our 50th anniversary this year and are proud to have a legacy of treating people the right way, doing the right things, supporting our communities, and putting field talent first.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_00: Our team places candidates and administrative, flight industrial, call center, distribution, third-party logistics positions with additional opportunities to our executive search, creative staffing, and luxury beauty and frequency divisions.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_00: We had the pleasure of having Casey Jacobs deliver a female presentation and training workshop to our customers.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I have to tell you, it was exceptional.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_00: Casey is funny, he is a candy, and he is a fruitable stuff.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_00: What's Casey apart is that he really walks the walk.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: He lives what he teaches.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: He spent time with us outside of the workshop, really taking the time to get to know our people.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: He shared information about his personal life, about his family, creating the foundation for authentic relationships.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_00: One of the core elements of the strategy he teaches.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_00: Casey left our teams feeling motivated, energized, and armed with the actionable tools to transform their sales performance.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_00: I cannot recommend Casey enough to any or any organization looking to grow and unlock their full potential.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to learn more about coworkstaffing, please visit our website at coworkstaffing.com.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_00: Now let's get back to the podcast.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_05: You mentioned your dad said you're always going to be a coach.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_05: Why do you think he said that?
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_02: I think because I I you know I have older siblings, and so like I said, my dad was always very involved in coaching us, and so I was always with always kind of the his assistant.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_02: I was always kind of around it.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_02: I think it's because I was such just you know, I think hearing some stories, I was probably a little bit you know, weird in terms of like how much I work that's what I hope was and I loved it.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_02: And um, so I just think he's just how I how I operate.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_02: I think you know, probably how I am with people a little bit, and you know, kind of relationship-wise, I think is something that he would probably say too is just of of of the of my why of coaching, what coaching actually, you know, it was about people, it's always been about people and you know, I care about you, and I care about those relationships that I feel and teaching and motivating those are things that are that are always been important to me, and I've always been I'd like to think pretty natural out things that also get that awesome.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_05: Well, I think it aligns with you know with the two things your dad taught you eleven or twelve years old about integrity and probably also learned the power of empathy through that journey, I would think.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_05: Um when you were coaching, did you ever have opportunities to share this story to kind of ground your athletes or um use cancer as a motivator to like realize how lucky we are?
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I would use it.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_02: I would use it sparingly when I felt like you know it was it was necessary.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_02: If I needed to.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_02: And I never really wanted to be like, hey, this is like I don't love talking about myself.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um, this is a unique thing.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_02: It's like you know, this is what happened to me, so you should learn something from what happened to me.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_02: Um was never really kind of my my philosophy, and I think that's a way you can get shut down really quick.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_02: I don't care about that.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_02: But there's definitely some lessons, you know, some things that I think it was one of those things that if some players found out that, then they're they would be intrigued.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_03: Ask you the questions and then you'd more like make it, make it there, forcing you.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_05: You read my mind.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_05: I was I was saying that's why when I was always a curious person, but I became like crazy curious at age, I'd say 41, um, where I went through kind of the value exercise, and I was realizing what you know, what are the values that drive me as a person that reflect?
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_05: What are the values that drive me as a dad or a husband?
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_05: And I the three that always come to mind, I call them my the HBC flywheel, which is being humble, vulnerable, and curious.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_05: And before I tell a story to somebody, I'm like, I ask a question first, like even my kids, like a like Riley when she's going through ACL recovery.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_05: I'm like, if if and when you're ready, um, let me know if if if you think it'd be if you want to hear me, my my journey of overcoming you know an injury, broke my foot, lost all these opportunities, and Central is the only place that gave me a chance.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_05: But if you don't, that's that's cool too.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_05: It's like you plant a seed to make it their idea.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_05: And um, when I learned this skill, one of my first things I struggled with was like, I don't want to manipulate people, I don't want to manipulate my kids, but that's why this people can't see it.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_05: There's a belief sign behind me, little Ted Lasso-ish.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_05: But like when you if you believe what you do matters, if you believe that this story is going to help somebody, the person that taught me this is like, then why wouldn't you ask them questions?
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_02: Why wouldn't you want to share it with them?
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_02: And if you you believe in it, do it.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_02: But you have to meet them where they are when they're ready to listen.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_05: You know, so um so you you get into coaching, this this takes you on a journey.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_05: And I think what what I love too about when I first met you, Mike, is that you you made the choice.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_05: Um, you know, coaching is a very difficult profession with families.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_05: Um, some people can make it and it works.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_05: You know, even but I'm watching hard knocks now, and I I see Coach McDonald and his wife and him selling stories or he he gets to see his son, you know, barely any.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_05: I'm like, that's not the life I want, you know.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_05: And I think I shared with you, you know, Ryan Sawyer.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_05: Shout out to Sawyer if you're listening.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_05: Uh a former teammate of mine, he's over in Spokane now.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_05: He left coaching in Eastern and said, I that's not the life I want.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_05: You want I want to be a I want to be a way more hands-on dad.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_05: And so I'd love to, I think it's cool for maybe there's a dad, it doesn't have to be a coach, but maybe you're a business executive, maybe you're in a job where it's just overtaken your happiness um to find out, you know, what is there something else you could do.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_05: So maybe what walked us through like your your decision to to get into what you're doing now, we can then we can make sure we highlight people to know what you're over at Siwoo doing.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_05: But I think it then could be a kind of cool story for people to listen to.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so I mean it was a it was it was interesting.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_02: It kind of wasn't I wouldn't say that getting out of coaching was like was this master.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_02: Um been thinking about it like for years, really, so I since you got into it of like what what the what the correct path is, but um but it wasn't a master plan.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, interesting how it all shook out.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_02: It was you know last last season at Central, very successful conference champions, playoff run, one of the top offenses in the country that I coordinated.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, and and the head coach got a new job.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_02: And um, I wasn't part of the part of the part of the group that was going to go with to this new job.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_02: And so as I kind of focused, I I knew I was kind of at a crossroads of uprooting my family, you know, either way of uprooting my family and and taking them and moving somewhere else in the on this coaching show.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_02: Where would that?
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_02: How would that be?
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_02: Um or trying to pivot and like and something I had been thinking about, and I think the tough thing is when when I'm in coaching, it was kind of like fog in it.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_02: It was kind of tough to see a path out.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_02: Um kind of like once it was that fog lifted, it was able to kind of say, okay, there's there's some other options here, there's some other things, and maybe I don't need to uproot my family from a place that we really enjoy.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_02: We really enjoy living in Ellensburg, kind of where our family started, like we like it.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_02: So is there this different path that um that I can find?
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_02: Um that kind of accomplishes a lot of things.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_02: We can stay here, we can continue to build what we're building, um and also kind of get uh pivot out of the scope of control.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_02: Um and so I'm talking to our athletic director here, and after all this happened, he talked about this this position that had been vacant for a couple of years, the director of development and focusing on definitely something I was interested in every game because it was still in athletics.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_02: I I think that that would have been too much for me to be like, but you're no longer associated with college, you gotta go do something.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_02: I I don't think I could have done that.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_02: I love college athletics, I love the environment, being around it, part of it still.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I still think that what I'm doing, even though it's fundraising efforts, you know, fundraising scholarship might impact the student athletics.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_02: I'm still doing something that that answers my why why I gotta be able to impact young people and make their lives better and you know be a positive influence other people.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_02: Four years from now, they're gonna have a better be better people than they were.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_02: So kind of my journey, kind of like a weird way around it, but it's um ultimately super happy with how it all shook out, even though when it was happening was was unique and kind of challenging, hard at times to figure out what was next.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_05: Sure.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_05: How do you think um you know if there's a dad listening that's maybe in in in that fog, whatever he's he's doing?
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_05: Um, were there things like maybe through journaling or talking to your wife or talking to a friend, were there things that tools that you use to kind of help you see what was that next opportunity for you?
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'd like to say it was super simple and I have an easy answer, but it but it wasn't.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_02: It was just it was a little bit of time and it was putting yourself around the right people.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_02: Like my wife was great.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, there was a little bit of uh, you know, I probably wasn't the best person.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_02: I wasn't the best husband, I wasn't the best father for for a little bit of time.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_02: I'm saying weeks, not like months and years, but weeks where I probably was uh was not great to be around.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, my family brought me out of that, right?
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_02: Your kids don't care, right?
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_02: They love you, and that's the best thing in the world.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_02: They don't care if you're bad, which was anything.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_02: Now coaching, like you lost a game, you had a bad game, my kids care.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_02: They wanted to they gave you a big hug and you know, said they loved you anyway.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_02: That puts things in perspective.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_02: Um but you know, my parents and I again have very good relationships.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_02: My dad and I I still call my dad whenever I need to.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_02: I'm getting to a point where you wonder that shouldn't maybe that shouldn't be the case, but I don't care.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_02: Like I'm always gonna utilize my dad as that as that solid background of life so I can super fortunate to have always had yeah, just the people around me kind of helped, you know.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_05: What a what a dad, what a gift.
• 39:23
  SPEAKER_05: Um, one that you have a growth mindset and continuous learner, and um I think you you use the V in my my little framework, vulnerability.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_05: It's like it's okay to say you don't know.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_05: It's okay to ask for help.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_05: Most people, for some reason, I don't know why, but we some people struggle with that don't ask for help.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_05: I it I I love asking for help.
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_05: I love saying what I don't know.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_05: Um like my buddies give me a hard time, I could give two shits.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_05: They all I mean, I'm like the least handiest person.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_05: My wife literally just fixed our fridge.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_05: It's not my jam.
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_05: I don't have to do that stuff.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_05: My you know, my dad, unfortunately, was not super handy.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_05: I didn't grow up around being handy, not I can work hard and like I'll be a great secondhand person, but like if it's my I don't have a mechanical mind to think that way.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_05: And so like I either can you know go on YouTube and frustrate myself and put the put the thing the other wrong way, but like my my father-in-law, shout out to Bruce, he's like MacGyver, he can fix anything, pilot, former guy, and my wife has that same mindset, my daughter has that mindset.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_05: I my son's getting I try to help my son.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_05: I said, bro, don't become your dad.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_05: Like he can, he can, you know, you know, make fun of myself here a little bit, but like um, I think it's so cool.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_05: And that what and what what a dream that any parent would want is their kids to a still call them for advice, have a great relationship with them.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_05: And I think the other thing you said that's super important that I hope dads listen to is you, you know, you your identity is not coaching.
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_05: Your identity is not the scoreboard, your identity is who you are as a person, how we show up, how we build relationships.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_05: You know, I think about like when you got done at Montana, it's like, okay, what's next?
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_05: Then you had cancer.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_05: And when I got done at Central, I was like, I got teased to play overseas, teased in the arena league a little bit, and I was like, but then when that got over, it was just like, okay, well, now what?
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_05: And then I got into corporate and then did that for 20 something years, you know.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_05: You're like your right guy, right time, right place, had some success there.
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_05: And then when that when that journey ended, it's like, but I would I I guess I was I was so much I thought about like your identity is not that, you know.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_05: So I think we can just slow down and remember that like Central didn't go out of business when you left.
• 41:31
  SPEAKER_05: When I left, this company called Kforce, they didn't go out of business.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_05: Um when people retire from the NFL, they don't go out of business.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_05: But yet we we sometimes we put so much pressure in on our identity of letting it define us.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_05: And I think the more we can stay grounded with having conversations like this, or you know, I think it helps us become better dads, husbands, leaders, leaders of our home.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_05: Um okay, so if people don't know what it means to be the director of development um at the mighty Central Washington University, help us understand what that means.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_05: And if people, if there's an alum listening that wants to get involved, how can how can we make it easy for them?
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so I mean, it is, you know, especially in an ever-changing world of higher education, it's it's it's expensive.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_02: And through the past several years, like the amount of government funding to provide just students and student athletes is is decreased, right?
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_02: So so much of the scholarships that we utilize for just the general, you know, general students, but then you know, my focus is more in the athletics, trying to find uh privately, privately fundraised money that goes directly to students.
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_02: Obviously, I think you know everyone knows the importance of scholarships, especially in an athletic department, you know, the ever-changing wild world of college athletics, um, with the amount of money and everything else.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_02: Essential being a teacher, we're not kind of there, we're just trying to provide some assistance to most of our student athletes in terms of you know in tuition and putting food on the plates and giving them a roof over their head to talk to the big money that the SEC.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um so yeah, that's that's kind of my my job.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_02: It's a development role, is doing multiple things to find privately fundraising for our student athletes and it involves several things, like it's one-on-one interactions, it's using my portfolio, people that give and it's connecting with people, it's talking about the important impact that people can make in philanthropic ways to help support not only Central but each individual that we have in the program.
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_02: And then, you know, I'm also kind of help run our events, our fundraising events with Hall of Fame, fundraising events that I kind of oversee and will operate moving forward.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_02: increase funds funds for our CNN.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, if there's people out there that are interested and want to help and want to learn more about us um and ways that they can impact things always open.
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_02: I'd love to you know you can find my information on the website.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_02: It's part of my thing.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_02: Connecting with people and people's the big and that's where this transition I think fundraising sometimes doesn't just be and the people that I've gotten to meet like you for example Casey are you know some very generous amazing people that want to help and support things that matter to them.
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_02: And I think education and college education is something that still really matters.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_02: And I think athletics we have you've shown in this podcast it helps impact people in huge ways as well.
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_02: And so I guess that's kind of what the whole mission is how do we give these opportunities to as many people love it man.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_05: Well I think I love that you're in this job because when you're a connector relationship builder you know shout out to Jason Roundy Roundy's the guy that got me back involved he did a hell of a job he now works at my former employer um kicking ass over there and um I think about fundraising it's it's just like in sales sales like sometimes gets a bad connotation well you're not you're solving a problem and that I think that's what fundraising your fundraising is solving a problem or giving an opportunity for someone to experience something and the fact that you've coached at Central the fact you've been there you live there it's it's like you can tell stories that connect people and help people if there's alums listen that want to get back involved that um that want to provide better or the same opportunities hopefully better than when we had it I mean that's kind of what our job is you know send that elevator back down.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_05: Give because it'll the more you give in life I swear the more you get and if you don't keep score and you live in abundance the that boomerang keeps coming back to you.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_05: I feel like I live it every morning where I'm like how the hell did that happen?
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_05: Well because I feel like I'm doing the right thing more often than not and making that choice to do that.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_02: What's the easiest way people can find you if they want to get involved probably the website Rob be looking us up online you can find me um at the CW Athletics website and you just kind of look for our our names okay also if you go to the Central Washington you know giving there's giving links on the athletic page so if you want to give direct to athletic giving page be there.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_02: I'm on LinkedIn to be another way to directly connect with me okay in case you were pushing me to increase my LinkedIn which I I still need to do.
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_05: But you can find me on there but you know website look me up more just directly giving to cool we will make sure that's linked in the show notes everybody if you want to learn more about supporting the Mighty Wildcats um learning more about Mike and the work that he does and shout out to Nadey for listening to okay back to fatherhood real quick before we go into some fun stuff um if you were to fast forward tag yep tag and lily are now they're they're eight they're all they're well we'll call it Tigs 20 Lily's 18 and you and your wife are like man we we got through it they didn't visit my dad in jail they're not they're not in the big house we've raised three great kids and people that that come up to you and and say man you that you're the reason why we love your kids they have this skill this skill and this skill three skills tell me what what words you'd want them to say about your kids that would reflect the work that you and CR did as parents tough because I don't want to think about that I don't want to think about them being that old yes I'm not even I know they'll get there but that's it's tough.
• 48:03
  SPEAKER_02: Trying to you know trying to live in the moment be as present as possible so moving removing myself and pushing things down how far I like I know it's hard.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_05: Well think about it as the more how about this think it more of as terms of the values you want to instill in them.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_02: What do you want people what what what do you want them to learn the most I want them to be resilient um which I think has to do with the with adversity in the talks we've had there I want them to be resilient.
• 48:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah you know think yes I'm guilty of it yes we pamper our kids and we want them to have everything easy but breaking away from that and forcing for them to be enabled gotta be resilient.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_05: I want to be empathetic they need to understand people resiliency empathy um hardworking work ethic yeah good answer ma'am those are three three positives that are going to help them succeed no matter what they're teachers baristas home depot employees or you know executives that you know those three are great are great um things that we want to shape any about any of our kids if you were to think about what we talked about today that would summarize um our conversation today Mike that that other dads could take away um lessons they've learned from our conversations that'll help them be maybe a better leader of their home um maybe talk talk to me about what maybe what might come to mind.
• 49:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah I think it is being being present with them and you know that's something I I I learned through the coaching world as much as I was away when I was home I was home I think that that's something that helped me get through those times being mindful and and being as present as possible as you do it with it's hard.
• 49:46
  SPEAKER_04: I mean it's hard sometimes it's not that easy it's everybody that knows they test your patience every day.
• 49:57
  SPEAKER_02: But what what I've seen that works is is you gotta you put yourself with them, right?
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_02: Be the dad that they need you to be and sometimes that's just being on the floor with them and things that are frustrating you testing your patience is because you're not there and hey you can't always be that and that's gonna have to be something you know my son that we're gonna have to because resiliency's gonna have to come in can't always be that for you but I'm gonna be that for you as much as I can so I think just meeting them where they are as much as you can I I think is really going to help.
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_02: That's what I've learned for me again is hard to lose patience of meeting them.
• 50:37
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah it's good man like I had I I swear I've become more patient through this podcast just from having conversations like this.
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_05: I always tell people I try to mention a lot when I do these interviews is you don't need a podcast to have conversations like these everybody if you really want to challenge yourself to grow pick up the phone don't text your friend pick up the phone and call him go meet him for a beer meet him for coffee just and ask more questions and and next thing you know you're gonna have a conversation that leads to learning and growth and work on becoming a better listener.
• 51:07
  SPEAKER_05: Your wife will appreciate it I will tell you that if her dad's listening at home don't hear her listen to her and same mean your kids don't hear them listen like and I love you said get on the floor that was a great advice someone gave me when my kids were young is like get out and whether you're playing motorcycles, Star Wars, Legos, Barbies you know, meet them where they are and find out what they want to do and help unlock their gifts not what you want them to do but what what they are meant to do.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_05: And when that's when you help them find that man that's fun.
• 51:36
  SPEAKER_05: It's fun and it's funny like I was not a good golfer in height I was okay but my son became a really good golfer I suck the basketball my daughter's a really good shooter intense defender like she loves I was not always like that.
• 51:49
  SPEAKER_05: And I'm like I don't know where the hell you guys got these skills um but it's fun to help them find their passion they want to do.
• 51:56
  SPEAKER_05: So all right ma'am um it's now time to go into the lightning round where I show you the negative hits of taking too many hits at central not bong hits but football hits uh your job is to answer these questions hopefully as quickly as you can and my hope is to get a giggle out of you.
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_05: Are you ready?
• 52:14
  SPEAKER_05: Do it okay true or false you initially committed to Montana on a bull riding scholarship.
• 52:20
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 52:20
  SPEAKER_05: Uh true or false you were hoping to raise funds for Central to get a mechanical bull in Nicholson Pavilion.
• 52:27
  SPEAKER_05: Absolutely do it oh the visual of that made me I could not laugh my own dumb dad joke that was the donor's intent then yes that's what we'll have I don't you guys probably calling me asking to raise money for a mechanical bowl of joking central if you're listening um if I came to your house for dinner tonight what would we have?
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_02: Tonight?
• 52:49
  SPEAKER_02: Well um if I'm cooking yeah your choice okay I'm gonna I'm gonna get something out on the on the smoker probably I'm gonna probably I probably I do a pretty good rack of ribs.
• 52:58
  SPEAKER_02: I'm a meat and potatoes guy though you're gonna get steak you're gonna get ribs potatoes.
• 53:03
  SPEAKER_05: That sounds really really good.
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_02: Okay what would be one genre of music that might surprise your friends at Central that you listen to um hip hop okay from Montana let's go no country but going straight I mean I I listen to country that wouldn't surprise people but I can what's what what's our are we are we going nineties hip hop or are we going Oh it's the best um I mean I can I've I've kind of tried to keep up a little bit into the modern era but I'm still like yeah 90s still the best give me some biggie stating myself but it is I think so too um if you were to take Sierra on vacation right now sorry kids are staying home anywhere in the world where are you taking her?
• 53:43
  SPEAKER_02: I want to go where we go into Thailand because we were supposed to be going to Thailand and we were booking flights there and this would have been February of 2020.
• 53:52
  SPEAKER_02: And we're like hey let's hold off on booking these flights because there's this thing going on in China and that thing was COVID and uh so we never went so I would love to take her there six years later our honeymoon.
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_05: Man that'd be I Thailand's on my list on my list for sure.
• 54:13
  SPEAKER_05: If there was to be a book written about your life tell us the title one day at a time okay there we go like that.
• 54:19
  SPEAKER_05: Okay now Mike believe it or not this book's selling out everywhere um it's sold out at Gerald's it's sold out at Amazon sold out Barnes and Noble no one can get it airports have sold out I even tried to go to Tri-Cities Airport sold out Yakima sold out so now only best way to get your story out there we're gonna make a movie out of it and you are now the casting director I need to know who's gonna star Mike Farder in this critically acclaimed hit new movie Vince Vaughn solid choice solid choice it's gonna be a a little bit of comic relief in that one which I love big Vince Vaughn fan okay and then last and most important question tell me two words that would describe Sierra the rock the best I just say the best is that two words the best will hyphenate the best and we'll hyphenate the rock just just uh steady supportive yeah solid ma'am all right lighting rounds complete we both giggled i i lose because I laughed at my own joke which I usually do um this has been a blast um spend time with you I really enjoyed playing golf early in the summer and and appreciate you coming on to your story I know it's gonna help a dad out there thank you to everybody who continues to listen and if you're a central alum whether you play sports or not give find a way to give back um whether it's a dollar or if you can do more than that do it.
• 55:42
  SPEAKER_05: Let's help make central better than when when we were there um fantastic university fantastic people and um it's been just a really really honor spending time with you man I know our hopefully our past will continue to cross but I appreciate spending time with us today and look forward to hopefully seeing you on campus soon.
• 55:59
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah thank you so much this is with the time really appreciate it man all right well thank you again everybody for listening to this week's episode and a huge favor now if you have enjoyed this podcast please wherever you just listen to it go on to the your phone the computer and click on reviews and leave us a review leave us a rating hopefully five stars if you if you like it a lot which will help us be easily to be found by new listeners that are going to be wanting to learn more about quarterback deck learn about ways they can become a multiple quarterback the leader of their household and even better yet if this episode touched it please share it with a friend uh find another episode that you like share that episode with a friend we're gonna continue to keep growing this thing in quest to get to a thousand dads so I appreciate you uh continuing to listen each and every week and thank you again for all your support and wish you uh a great rest of your day and we can't wait to see you next week.
• 56:51
  SPEAKER_05: See everybody