Latest / Drawn of History / The Time Jschock Vaped Himself Into the Psych Ward(M4A_128K)

Transcript

The Time Jschock Vaped Himself Into the Psych Ward(M4A_128K) · Drawn of History

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: And just your resiliency, man, and your attitude, your ability
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: to have a positive attitude. It's so funny, man. I
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: think seeing you today is like, and I hate to
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  Speaker 1: even make this about myself, but like, it's just what
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  Speaker 1: I needed. I needed to be reminded of like, that
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: like everybody is dealing with stuff. We're all going through
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  Speaker 1: things that we got this right. And the way to
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: do it is just, is, is to keep positive.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: You know, I've been through some more psychological shit. Um,
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  Speaker 2: I don't know how deep you want me to get
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  Speaker 2: into it, but, Could we talk about that stuff?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, what was one of the tougher times that you
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  Speaker 1: dealt with, do you feel like? When it comes to
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  Speaker 1: some of your mental health and emotional health, that sort
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  Speaker 1: of thing.
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  Speaker 2: We could talk about weed.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: We can?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: So I used to smoke a lot of weed when
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  Speaker 2: I was younger, like high school, college, or college mainly.
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  Speaker 2: And I was addicted to the PEM, called the Penjamin.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: I had a Rick and Morty pen.
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  Speaker 1: Penjamin Button, they called you, I bet.
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  Speaker 2: Something like that, yeah. And I was in Cape Cod,
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  Speaker 2: my homeland, right, where I was born. And I was drinking.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: I was smoking, not getting sleep. I was sleep deprived.
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  Speaker 2: And it's like a mixture of everything. And then I
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  Speaker 2: did it so much that I went into psychosis.
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  Speaker 1: From hitting that pin?
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  Speaker 2: For over a month. And I was, it was bad.
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  Speaker 2: I was checked into multiple hospitals. I was in a
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  Speaker 2: psych ward for over a month. And while I was,
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  Speaker 2: how I, why this happened is because.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: Did you get 5150'd or whatever? Did you get 5150'd
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  Speaker 1: it's called or something?
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  Speaker 2: 51.
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  Speaker 1: You're in a second. We're going.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, sorry. And before I got there, I was, I
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  Speaker 2: was looking, I was working at Home Depot. That was
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  Speaker 2: my first like real job. And I felt like people
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  Speaker 2: were following me. Like I was ringing up the same
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  Speaker 2: four customers all day. I was hearing voices in my head.
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  Speaker 2: And then I get in my car and I'm like, dad,
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  Speaker 2: like people are following me. Like I would say like,
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  Speaker 2: I would say red car, like I want a red car.
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  Speaker 2: And like a red car would drive by. It was
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  Speaker 2: only like weird little coincidences that were happening. But that's
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  Speaker 2: what happens when you're in psychosis. Like these coincidences happen.
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  Speaker 2: Shit seems so real. So I ended up getting home.
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  Speaker 2: I thought my dad was recording me. We had like
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  Speaker 2: a fucking fist fight. Like it was bad, dude.
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  Speaker 1: Are you accused him of recording you?
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  Speaker 2: No, I thought cameras were recording me. They weren't. I
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  Speaker 2: thought my whole life was being broadcasted.
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  Speaker 1: Where did you think that your dad was hiding the cameras?
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  Speaker 2: On his phone. Because every time he was on the phone,
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  Speaker 2: the camera looked like it was recording me.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, you thought it was recording you.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I ran to my neighbor's house.
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  Speaker 1: What did you tell the neighbors? Did you knock on
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  Speaker 1: the door?
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  Speaker 2: I said, my parents are trying to do some shit.
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  Speaker 2: And they're like, no, you're good, you're good, trust me. Oh, no,
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  Speaker 2: I was playing GTA. And in the game, there was
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  Speaker 2: things happening in the game. I was getting pulled over
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  Speaker 2: in the game. I thought all this stuff was happening
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  Speaker 2: because I did something wrong. It was so weird, Theo.
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  Speaker 2: I can't even explain it.
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  Speaker 1: Was it scary, too? Was it scary also?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was really scary. They were telling me, either
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  Speaker 2: you take the medicine or we check you into a
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  Speaker 2: psych ward. And the psych ward I was in was
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  Speaker 2: all of younger people. When I was there.
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  Speaker 1: Did you have a volleyball team? Did you have a
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  Speaker 1: sports league or anything in there?
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  Speaker 2: No. Like a psych ward sports unit?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, like a.
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  Speaker 2: No, they had a basketball court. And I'll tell you,
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  Speaker 2: I was shooting full court shots. Like, it was like nothing.
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  Speaker 2: Because the drugs they had you on in that hospital
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  Speaker 2: were like, you ever see Limitless movie? It was like
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  Speaker 2: a pill and it unlocked all of my brain. And
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  Speaker 2: I was doing shit. I learned how to freestyle. I
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  Speaker 2: learned how to rap. I learned how to do all
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  Speaker 2: this different stuff because of the medication. It was terrible.
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  Speaker 1: Serotonin's down, but these buckets are up. You feel me?
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  Speaker 1: That's all I'm saying, bro. That's crazy in there.
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  Speaker 2: So now while I'm there, like, It was all these
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  Speaker 2: different coincidences happening. There was a lot of weird people
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  Speaker 2: in there that had their own problems.
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  Speaker 1: In the psych ward, who was one of the wildest
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  Speaker 1: cats in there?
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  Speaker 2: I don't remember any names, really.
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  Speaker 1: Well, yeah, we don't need a name.
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  Speaker 2: There was this one dude.
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  Speaker 1: Uh-huh.
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  Speaker 2: There was some crazy people in there, man. I had
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  Speaker 2: this big African-American guy in my room.
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  Speaker 1: Black guy.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, this big black guy in my room. And in
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  Speaker 2: the middle of the night, he woke me up, like
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  Speaker 2: hovering over me. Oh, yeah.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: You got any snacks? Really? I got some gummies and
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  Speaker 2: my chips in my bag. He probably smelled. I need
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  Speaker 2: them now.
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  Speaker 1: He said he needed them.
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  Speaker 2: I was like, holy shit.
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  Speaker 1: He probably smelled them. If you're that big, dude, you
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  Speaker 1: can smell food better than we can.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. Dude, there was so much shit that's happened in
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  Speaker 2: my life. So the craziest part of all this is
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  Speaker 2: that two things. One, when I was at Home Depot,
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  Speaker 2: I worked with this kid, and he was training to
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  Speaker 2: become a doctor. And when I was in one of
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  Speaker 2: the hospitals that I was admitted to, I saw him
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  Speaker 2: walking around the hospital. I'm like, Dad, that's one of
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  Speaker 2: the guys that's following me. He works for me. He's
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  Speaker 2: spying on me. And he's like, he's not. He's just
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  Speaker 2: a regular doctor. A couple years later, I called him.
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  Speaker 2: I'm like, yo, did you ever work at this hospital
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  Speaker 2: at this time? He's like, that was me.
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  Speaker 1: You're lying.
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  Speaker 2: He's like, that was me. He's like, now you can
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  Speaker 2: rest easy.
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  Speaker 1: Was it really him?
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  Speaker 2: It was really him.
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  Speaker 1: So he worked at Home Depot and at the hospital.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, training. Training for what? What?
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  Speaker 1: Like, what training would a doctor need at Home Depot, really?
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  Speaker 2: He just had a side job. Like, while he was
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  Speaker 2: going to school, he worked there.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, got it. Dude, you ever have that... Okay, go on.
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  Speaker 2: I'm sorry.
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  Speaker 1: I have a question about Home Depot, but.
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  Speaker 2: I'm going to tell you in a second, but the
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  Speaker 2: craziest thing about all this is the second thing. You
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: know Logic, the rapper?
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: He wrote a book. His name is Bobby Hall, but
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  Speaker 2: he wrote a book called Supermarket, and in the book,
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  Speaker 2: it's about him living like a double life, and he's
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  Speaker 2: going through... and he's trying to hide a killing that
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  Speaker 2: he did. It's a really great book, Supermarket. That book
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  Speaker 2: came out at the same time I was going through psychosis.
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  Speaker 2: So I thought I was the main character of the
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  Speaker 2: book that was being filmed live action in the hospital
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  Speaker 2: and around the world. I thought they were doing a
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  Speaker 2: 24-hour live stream of me being a real character of
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  Speaker 2: that book.
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  Speaker 1: J-Shock.
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  Speaker 2: I swear to God.
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  Speaker 1: Would you ever leave messages for yourself to find later, like, hey,
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  Speaker 1: I'm going to write myself this note? Yes.
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  Speaker 2: I had a whole notebook of it. I wrote songs
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  Speaker 2: in it. I wrote little things of the girls I liked.
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  Speaker 2: I remember I got a boner.
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  Speaker 1: Tell us about that boner.
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  Speaker 2: That boner, it was a nurse. And at the time,
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  Speaker 2: my body wasn't working right. My brain, nothing was working.
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  Speaker 2: But the stuff they were putting me on was making
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  Speaker 2: me feel different things. And I remember one day, I
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  Speaker 2: was like, oh, I remember. I forgot what a boner
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  Speaker 2: felt like. And this girl came up to me. We
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  Speaker 2: were talking. I was rizzing the fuck out. I thought
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  Speaker 2: I was going to bang this nurse.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, it's hospital rizz, dude.
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  Speaker 2: And that thing was jumping.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, I said baby shark.
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  Speaker 2: Like, having a great time talking to everyone. I just
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  Speaker 2: can't even explain to you. You would have to be
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  Speaker 2: in my head to really know what it felt like.
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  Speaker 1: How did the psychosis come to an end?
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  Speaker 2: It just, they, my parents saved me. They really did. Like,
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  Speaker 2: they got me out of there. They're like, you can't
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  Speaker 2: give them any more medication anymore. Because they try to
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  Speaker 2: keep you in there, Theo. Oh, yeah. That's how they
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  Speaker 2: make money.
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  Speaker 1: It's like the zoo. They want the animals.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: Imagine you go to a zoo and there's no animals.
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  Speaker 1: Or they're like, hey, this animal got better. We let
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  Speaker 1: him go. They're like, what? This animal's back happy with
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  Speaker 1: his family. You never see any of that. They're always like,
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: this animal, yeah, he's got bad lungs or whatever. We're
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  Speaker 1: keeping him or something. That's always the prognosis when you're
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: at the zoo, dude. It's fucking bullshit. Or this animal, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: he's still, you know what I'm saying? We're doing physical
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  Speaker 1: therapy with him for like 11 years or whatever.
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  Speaker 2: He's good now.
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  Speaker 1: It's always some bullshit.
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  Speaker 2: Hippopotamus can open his mouth now. He's good. The eagle
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  Speaker 2: could fly. But yeah, I got out and I never
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  Speaker 2: smoked weed again.
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  Speaker 1: Do you think that something about that psychosis, the idea
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  Speaker 1: of like seeing yourself outside of yourself, did that lead
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  Speaker 1: you into streaming? Like, you know what I'm talking about?
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  Speaker 2: It led me into being creative. I'll say that. I
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  Speaker 2: was always creative, but, like, it kind of, like, it
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  Speaker 2: was like an epiphany almost.
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  Speaker 1: How?
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  Speaker 2: Well, I was doing music at the time. I produced music. So, again, like,
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  Speaker 2: this is another example of why, of how psychosis worked.
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  Speaker 2: I thought I was a producer for Jay-Z in the hospital.
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  Speaker 2: I was playing piano, and I thought they were recording
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  Speaker 2: when I was playing on the piano and sending it
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  Speaker 2: to Jay-Z. And I was hearing it on the speakers.
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  Speaker 2: Because everything, when you're in psychosis, you feel like everything
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  Speaker 2: is happening for you. So one of the guys, the
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  Speaker 2: music therapy guy, would come in and he would play
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  Speaker 2: music for us. And he would play the radio. And
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  Speaker 2: I would hear in the song, in the lyrics, J-Shock
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  Speaker 2: made the beat. J-Shock is on the, like I would
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  Speaker 2: hear my name in the song, but it really wasn't there.
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  Speaker 1: Got it.
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  Speaker 2: It was just my mind tricking me.
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  Speaker 1: Got it.
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  Speaker 2: Because it's fucking crazy, dude.
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  Speaker 1: Crazy.
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  Speaker 2: Crazy.
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  Speaker 1: So you made it through all of that.
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  Speaker 2: I made it through all that. And like where you
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  Speaker 2: said like how it led to that, I produced music
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  Speaker 2: at the time and I thought I was making hits.
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  Speaker 2: I was like calling my friends on the phone. I
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  Speaker 2: would remember every phone number that my friends have because
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  Speaker 2: we don't have our cell phones. So I would remember
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  Speaker 2: all the names and I thought for the show or
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  Speaker 2: whatever live broadcast was on, I thought I would have
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: to remember the phone number for the thing. I thought
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  Speaker 2: I called Riley Reid. I thought I called like supermodels.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: Riley Reid, the porn star?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, I thought I called.
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: The model, sorry.
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  Speaker 2: I got a phone call, and I'm like, who is this?
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  Speaker 2: And she's like, it's Riley. I'm like, what's up, Riley?
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  Speaker 2: I'll be there later. Yeah. And it was just a
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  Speaker 2: fucking random person.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: Who was it?
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  Speaker 2: There might have been no one on the phone. That's
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  Speaker 2: how crazy it was, Theo.
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  Speaker 1: So, but, Jesus Christ.
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  Speaker 2: I know I'm getting deep. I know I'm getting all
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  Speaker 2: over the place, but all of it makes sense to
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  Speaker 2: me because it happened.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: Well, I know it happened, dude, but you're like fucking
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: out there, you're hitchhiking through your own.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: I was shooting three like Allen Iverson. I was calling.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: You know what's crazy is the more you talk, the
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: more it sounds like you might be Allen Iverson's son.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: It could be. I couldn't be.