Latest / Recovery Chronicles / Recovery Chronicles Ep. 193 - Mariah & Joelle

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Recovery Chronicles Ep. 193 - Mariah & Joelle · Recovery Chronicles

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Recovery Chronicles. I'm your host, Liz, an addiction
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: counselor at Harview in Bismarck, North Dakota. This podcast is
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: dedicated to the real human stories of people in recovery
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  Speaker 1: from alcohol and other drugs. People who have chosen change
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  Speaker 1: and who wake up every day walking that journey. These
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: are stories of hope, healing, and resilience and proof that
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  Speaker 1: transformation is possible.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: All right, I'm.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: Back again and still introducing people to Harvey staff members.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: So today I have Mariah with me, and I also
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: have another special guest with me. I have Joe Well
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: with me as well. So welcome Mariah and Joelle.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: Thank you. Mariah. What do you do at Harview?
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  Speaker 3: I am a licensed addiction counselor and then I also
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: am intorning for my mental health as well.
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  Speaker 2: That's awesome.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and Joel, what is your drug of choice in
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: your sobriety date?
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  Speaker 2: A drug of choice was alcoholic myth fetnah and wed
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  Speaker 2: sobriety date is February thirteenth of this year. Good for you.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: That's incredible. Thank you.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: So Mariah, what inspired you to work in addiction treatment?
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  Speaker 3: There's a lot of things, so when I was young,
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: addiction was always around.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: It was in my life.
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: My best friend's mom was an alcoholic, her siblings all
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: struggled with substances. The people I hung out with all
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: struggled with substances. I got involved in it, so I
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: know the struggle and I have always wanted to help
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  Speaker 3: people get out of that. So that's always just been
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: a really big passion of mine.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: Okay, and how do you two? Maria and Joell know
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: each other. Whenever I first was seeking help, she was
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: the one I did my email with, and then she's
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: now my aftercare counselor.
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: To I've actually known her from her first day at
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: Part of You all the way through, so I've been
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: with her from the beginning.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: That's a really cool, like full circle kind of moment.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: It is, Yeah, it is.
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: It's really cool to watch like all the success that
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: she's had in her journey and like getting to be
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: just a small part of it. I think I've even
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: told her that, like, I love just being that small
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: piece of.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: Her story because she's gonna accomplish a lot of things.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: I just know it.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: Joelle, what was the moment when you realized I just
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: can't keep living like this.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: Well, I've had a couple of tries at recovery. I
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: guess where I realized I couldn't live like this anymore
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: was whenever I was on the streets depressed, not having anything,
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: not feeling like I had anyone, and I knew I
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: was best and for more, I knew I had a
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: bigger purpose.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's awesome, and this is a step towards that
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: bigger purpose. Sharing part of your story with us and
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: our listeners, Mariah, What keeps you coming back to this
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: work on the hard days?
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: The success?
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  Speaker 3: Like Joelle is one of like one of the people
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: that I refer to because she is very successful in
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: her journey.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: I know sometimes she doesn't always see that, But.
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: Like watching people succeed, and like seeing people find themselves
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: and find their joy in life and like the light
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: come back into them, It's just something that will always
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: keep me fulfilled.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: I think that's my favorite part of recovery.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, is seeing that light come back on for sure. Joel,
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: what keeps you showing up on the hard days? Keeps
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: me showing up just not wanting to live the old
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: life anymore, not wanting that depression, not wanting not wanting
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: to not have a purpose because it sucks being out there.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: And you know, I just keep referring that because that like,
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  Speaker 2: I could be back there, I could be not alive anymore,
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: I could be a lot of things. But I just
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: realized hard days with just that hard days. Sometimes there
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: are even hard moments. I lean a lot in my
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: higher power to get me out of moments like that,
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  Speaker 2: and I just kind of have faith and trust that
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  Speaker 2: I will pull through. That's awesome, Joelle.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: What is something you survived that people never saw?
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  Speaker 2: Oh, I guess the most recent one would be my overdose.
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  Speaker 2: So I overdosed. My mom's seven months over so I'd
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: say seven months ago. Well, I guess that's something I
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: share very openly. But no one saw the because my mom,
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: the look in her eyes, you know, she me and
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  Speaker 2: her were we used together, so I think that played
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  Speaker 2: a big part of why she got sober. And I
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  Speaker 2: don't know, just just the fact of not being here
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  Speaker 2: anymore is kind of scary, you know. Yeah, I think
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  Speaker 2: I kind of deviated from that question. No that that's
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: totally fine.
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  Speaker 1: I also just kind of want to throw out there
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  Speaker 1: that I think it's really cool that you and your
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  Speaker 1: mom used together.
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  Speaker 2: Now you're both sober together.
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  Speaker 1: I think that I love when I get to see
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  Speaker 1: things like that, when you know, whether it's friends or
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  Speaker 1: family members or I've had significant others that have come
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: in together and gotten sober together, and being able to
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: have that support I think is important. Yeah, duell what
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: part of recovery surprised you the most?
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  Speaker 2: I've gotten a copy of these questions already, and it's like,
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: surprising what part of recovery surprise me and the most? Yeah, honestly,
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  Speaker 2: the the happiness that I'm getting from it, the people,
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  Speaker 2: the friends I'm getting, the support, the life, you know,
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  Speaker 2: Like it's it's amazing how free we can get if
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  Speaker 2: we choose to. Yeah, it's just yeah, that's that's powerful.
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  Speaker 1: Especially, I mean I've I'm in recovery, so and I
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: have eleven and a half here sober.
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  Speaker 2: Congratulation, thank you, And hearing that brings me back to
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: to like, because I get cocky in my.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: So mighty so don't take lessons for me.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: This cop question is kind of for both of you.
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  Speaker 1: What is a common myth about addiction that you wish
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  Speaker 1: would disappear?
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  Speaker 2: There's lots of that.
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  Speaker 3: I think one of them is that like a one
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  Speaker 3: size fits all kind of mentality is not accurate. Also,
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: the thought that, like if they wanted to quit, or
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: if we wanted to quit, we can because it's not
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: that easy, none of us like being homeless, or like
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: the overdosing, or like the cops.
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: Chasing after us like that stuff. You didn't have fun
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  Speaker 2: when that happened. I didn't.
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  Speaker 3: I didn't know so or like my parents being like
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  Speaker 3: I'm calling the cops on you, you know what I.
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  Speaker 2: Mean, Like nobody likes that.
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  Speaker 4: So I mean, if if it was that easy, everybody
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  Speaker 4: would also do it right.
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  Speaker 2: And so I think that that's one thing the stigma
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: around all of that.
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  Speaker 1: Patty Mine, what was the question, what's a myth surrounding
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  Speaker 1: addiction that you wish would just disappear?
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  Speaker 2: A myth.
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  Speaker 1: An example like like Mariah said, if we wanted to quit,
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  Speaker 1: we would, or that if our family members just loved
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  Speaker 1: us enough, we would quit, or one particular thing is
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: enough for us to quit a lot of times it's
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: not just one particular thing or one particular moment that
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  Speaker 1: has pushed us to quit or pushed us to start
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  Speaker 1: using in the first place, or that mine is once
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  Speaker 1: an addict always an addict. I've changed a lot eleven
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  Speaker 1: and a half years, I've grown, I've had my own setbacks,
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  Speaker 1: I've fallen down and gotten back up. Anything like that
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  Speaker 1: that you have kind of encountered that you're like, No.
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  Speaker 2: I guess I don't really know where to go with that,
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  Speaker 2: but I think a myth Huh, I don't know what
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  Speaker 2: this question so hard from? Oh, I don't know. I
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: kind of agree with Mariah's that if you run into
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: Quiley would yep, that's it. Mariah.
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  Speaker 1: What is one of the toughest moments you've had in
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  Speaker 1: this field?
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  Speaker 2: Mmmm?
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  Speaker 3: Watching somebody lose themselves back into their addiction and like
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  Speaker 3: not able to come back out. That's probably been the
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  Speaker 3: hardest thing because I want all of my people to succeed.
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  Speaker 3: I want to see all of them do good, but
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  Speaker 3: watching them fall back is really really hard for me.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, Joelle, what does a bad recovery day.
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  Speaker 2: Look like for you? Right now? She doesn't got any
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  Speaker 2: bad recovery day? What it looks like like? A like,
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  Speaker 2: describe how it would look. Yeah, so it would look
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  Speaker 2: like me isolating in my room, not talking to anybody,
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  Speaker 2: just sitting there in the pity party, just like, Oh,
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  Speaker 2: my God, why would this happen to me? And then
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  Speaker 2: like it's just kind of crazy how fast I can
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  Speaker 2: snap out of that, you know, like I'm currently at
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  Speaker 2: whole manner, we don't really get much alone time because
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  Speaker 2: you know, everybody cares so much. It's not that they
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  Speaker 2: don't let you do anything or give you your own space,
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  Speaker 2: it's just we all know when something's wrong, like we
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  Speaker 2: could feel it. But yeah, a bad day for me
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  Speaker 2: is just honestly not connecting with my higher power, not
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  Speaker 2: doing the things I'm supposed to be doing, not talking
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  Speaker 2: to my sponsor, not working the steps. Yeah.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: So follow up question about Silver Living. What pushed you
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  Speaker 1: to decide to go into Solber Living?
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  Speaker 2: So whenever I first went it was I went there
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  Speaker 2: I think the day after my email with Maria Hope.
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  Speaker 2: Manner was I never looked at all the rules, but
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  Speaker 2: there's a lot of them, but I just wanted to
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  Speaker 2: get in somewhere. I need that structure, that accountability. I
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  Speaker 2: need to learn how to be honest and I need
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  Speaker 2: someone to call me out on my yes whenever I'm
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  Speaker 2: not being honest. And I just needed a change of
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  Speaker 2: environment because the place I wasn't just wasn't good, you know,
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  Speaker 2: but a person really does need accountability and all that,
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  Speaker 2: and it's showing me how to grow up because I
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  Speaker 2: haven't had that chance yet.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah. I always love it when people go into Hope
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  Speaker 1: Manor and they are have looked at the rules and
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  Speaker 1: the expectations and they're like holy no. But then they
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  Speaker 1: get in there and they have that same mentality that
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  Speaker 1: you have. Is I need that accountability, I need that structure.
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  Speaker 1: I need it because most of us do we have
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: a substance use disorder or not. We need people to
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  Speaker 1: call us on our bs.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: I think Hope Manner was probably like one of the
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  Speaker 3: best things that could have happened.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely like a huge change because like they love
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  Speaker 2: you until it's just the same like the rooms. You know,
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  Speaker 2: they all love you till you love yourself. They're there
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  Speaker 2: for you whether you like it or not, and you'll
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  Speaker 2: learn to love it. You know, just kind of forces
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: you to open up and just look at the bigger picture.
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  Speaker 2: That's awesome.
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  Speaker 1: I think that that ties into your success and you're
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: going to be your success story. Is you know that
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  Speaker 1: Hole Manner piece is going to be a piece of that,
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  Speaker 1: which I think is incredibly special.
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  Speaker 2: Bright along with heart View. Both places mean so much
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: to me. So anytime any want to ask anything of me,
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: I'm always willing to do whatever. That's awesome. How he
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: she got roped in, Joelle?
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: What was something that recovery gave you that has nothing
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: to do with your sobriety?
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  Speaker 2: Date? A family, people that care about me, a new perspective,
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: a new settle, lens is, hope, love, self words like
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: it all it's like a package deal. Yeah, kind of
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: weird how it all comes and you're just like, whoa, Yeah,
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  Speaker 2: it's a little uncomfortable at first. Yeah, it takes some
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: getting used to. But I'm really grateful for the things
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  Speaker 2: that I have today because of where I am and
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: where I've been.
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  Speaker 1: And when I put that question on there, I'm like, okay,
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: kind of like thinking of answers, and like you said,
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: there's not just one specific thing. It all comes together
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: and when you get sober, it just kind of hits
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  Speaker 1: you all at once. And get enough, Mariah, how do
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: you avoid burnout or compassion fatigue?
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: So I don't live in Bismar, so I get to
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: decompress on my drive home, which is eighty miles, so
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: that helps a lot, but we also spend a lot
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: of time like out of the lake, gardening, outside, that
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: kind of thing, so keeps me grounded a little bit.
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  Speaker 2: I also I used to go to the gym. I
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: You'm not so big into the gym lately. I should
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: probably go back to the gym. But yeah, that's how
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: I do that, Joelle.
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: Do you feel like you ever have any kind of
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: like burnout with meetings or being in sober living and
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: constantly being surrounded with recovery.
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: No, Honestly, the only thing that gets me exhausted is work.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: Sure do you know much? You know? And then I'm
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: never too exhausted for like meeting we have to we
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: get to do ten seven meetings a week, sorry not ten?
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: And yeah, it's really just work. I mean, I just
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: need to learn how to handle that. How do you
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: say it? Handle my stuff? Yeah? Handle the balance of yes, yes,
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: work and life and recovery and ye.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: What do either one of you wish that families understood
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: about recovery?
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Do I wish they understood that we always mean
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: it whenever we say we're trying. We always mean it.
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: When we're sorry, we're all we always mean it when
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: we can't follow through with it. It's just addiction and
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: alcoholism is cunning, baffling and powerful, as they say, yeah,
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: and every time we try, we give it our all.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: So I just kind of wish to understood that a
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: little more, and that understood how hard it is for
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: us to even try it and what we go through,
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: you know, because like mentally, physically, emotionally, we all we
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: go through so much and no one ever sees that
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: part of it. Yeah, even our families, especially like when
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: we're in sober living or in treatment. Yeah, they don't
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: see what we go through. So I just just.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: That part of it, I guess, and the hard work
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: that you put in, because even I mean I didn't
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: see the hard work that I put in when I
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: was first getting sober, but I see it now in
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: my clients and in people like you, who are those
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: success stories that we get to watch grow and flourish
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: and become this beautiful light for others.
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: To kind of see in the darkness. So that's a
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: good answer. I would just add on there that like
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: we don't love you any less, and you.
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: Loving say like, oh but I love you so much,
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: Like isn't going to change anything? Like you can't love
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  Speaker 3: me into sobriety, and like, dang it, I know, I know.
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  Speaker 2: It's really hard and also like.
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: It's gonna come when when we're ready, you know, like
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: you can't want it for us. That's like a really
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: hard concept. I think for some families to understand, I
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: would say specifically mothers. But you know, moms always want
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: to like be there and love and care and nurture
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: and all the things.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: But yeah, you can't love somebody into sobriety.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: No, Unfortunately, that doesn't that doesn't work right.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: I've tried, I think everybody has tried, and then it's like,
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: for us, the first thing we put above our recovery
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: is the second thing we lose first being us.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think that was important to throw
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: out there two that anything that you do put above
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: your recovery, we lose and do that is us?
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I picked that loved in mine, not somewhere, So
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: shout out to my not.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: Joelle, what sober habit would the active addiction you make
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: fun of so using you?
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: What is something that you.
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: Do now that the you that was an active addiction
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: would make fun of you?
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: For m.
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: I don't know, because honestly I was the same person
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: and my active addiction. I've always been real caring, real loving,
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: you know, always willing to help whenever. So maybe the
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: going I don't know. I don't want to say that.
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: I don't want to say honestly though, maybe going to meetings.
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: I never really thought that I'd ever need them. Yeah,
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: but I never realized how much they play a big
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: role into my recovery as well.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's huge, the going to meetings, getting
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: that support and having that that network of people who
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: get it.
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: Both of you, what advice would you give to someone
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: who is supporting a loved one in recovery? What advice
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: do you give to your mom? Do I give her? Yeah?
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: Just be patient. It takes time to get back to
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: where we were, but we're not going to be who
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: we were. We're going to be ten times better than
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: we ever were before. And I guess if I were
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: talking to my mom, I just tell her I loved
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: her so much, and action speak louder than words, and
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: I'm willing to show instead of repeatedly say I love you,
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I love you know. Yeah, I want to
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: be someone she is proud of. Yeah, I don't know.
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: Your mom, but I'm guessing she's incredibly proud of you.
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: I would have to say that it's okay to love
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: from a distance and have those boundaries.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: That dreaded B word.
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: I know, I know, but it's okay, right, Like it's
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: not a good feeling for the family number to have
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: those boundaries, but like it's all right at the end
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: of the day, Like we don't hold that against you
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: when we get sober.
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah no, we don't. We forgive you for putting those
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: hard boundaries in place. Most of us understand. We're like, hey,
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: yeah we can.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: In the moment, not so much, but later on we're like,
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: oh yeah, okay, yeap. How do you guys handle setbacks,
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: step backs in or in recovery in life, because substance
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: us are not Life happens out there.
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: I guess.
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: I don't have any great I think setbacks happen like
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: in a group setting.
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: You know, people come in and they talk about their
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: relapses that they've had. It's a great thing that they're
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: willing to come back to group and talk about it,
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: Like that's huge, you know, even if they went for
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: a week or two, like even just getting them back
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: into the into the room to talk about it is
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: really important. So like acknowledging that that's a big thing
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: I think is huge and in a group setting, So
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: hold on, how do you handle setbacks? Why I handle setbacks?
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: Like, okay, I.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: Can be your setbacks or even setbacks that you have
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: seen in peers in recovery. It could or you know,
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: if somebody else is struggling with something that it doesn't
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: just have to be recovery related.
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: It can be anything, because like I said.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: Life, life, life's and it's not always nice, right.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: I guess my setbacks that I've had would be my relasses.
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: How I handled that was I just kept trying. Yeah,
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: I just never gave up. It's hard being out there
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: with a head full of A and an A and
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: all this hope and sharing you with them, and you
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: know what I mean, then why are you here? You
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: know what I mean? That's just the responses that i'd
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: get back. But I forgot the question already. Okay, very carefully.
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: I like that answer. I like that answer. Can you
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: guys share a moment when you saw real transformation in somebody, Joelle,
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: in somebody or in yourself? Have you seen a transformation
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: in you I guess. Yeah, whenever I'm willing to share
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: the knowledge that I have, I'm able to sponsor women.
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: Now it's just kind of I don't have any sponsors yet,
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: but it's just kind of cool to be able to
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: walk women through the book that saved my life. You know,
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: that's a huge transformation. Yeah. If that the and it
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: old me wouldn't have done something like me ten years ago,
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: I'd be doing this today. I'd be like, but I
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: think you're a little off your rocker. Yeah, ah bit,
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: but I think, yeah, that's it.
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: For me.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: I got like at harp uw I get to do.
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: I was doing walking clinic before I started my internship,
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: so a lot of times, like Joelle for instance, like
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: I got to see them when they came in for walking,
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: and then if they came to my group, like I
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: got to see them developing group. And then I also
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: have aftercare so that I got to see them through aftercare,
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: and then I also have individuals.
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: So I get to see them like through their whole recovery.
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: So that's really cool. I like that part of my job.
• 24:22
  Speaker 4: So I get to see a lot of people transform.
• 24:26
  Speaker 4: I know I've even had people that you have done
• 24:30
  Speaker 4: their walk in eveil come to my outpatient group, and
• 24:33
  Speaker 4: then when they're completing my group, they request, can I
• 24:37
  Speaker 4: go to Mariah's after her?
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: She did my evail. I remember how nice she was
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: in my evil And that's funny. That's funny because I
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: found it was a nice us. Yeah.
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: I very vividly remember one of my clients. They came in,
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: they did not think that they had a problem, and
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: so they were talking about how they just do math
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: sometimes and so I said, yeah, me too, and they
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: were like what.
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: And I was like, well, how come it's okay for
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: you to do it but on me? And they're like oh,
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: And I was like it's a problem, isn't it. And
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: they're like yeah, I guess.
• 25:13
  Speaker 5: So, So that's funny that they think I'm.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: What is a small win in recovery that people might overlook,
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: but is actually a huge.
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: Win coming in for their EVO. I think that's really hard. Yeah,
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: admitting that they have a problem.
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, even if you're core ordered, like, it's really hard
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: to still come in and get that done.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: My time? What is this small win in recovery but
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: is actually really big a small win? I think the
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: hardest part for me was just walking through those doors
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: of Heartview. So I guess just that first day sober,
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: first hour for a second, first anything sober, like, as
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: long as you have that under your boat, that's that's
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: really the hardest part.
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: But yeah, yeah, those those first moments, those firsts of anything,
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: it doesn't matter what it is, that first encounter with
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: seeing parents again, seeing your kids again, seeing having holidays.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: You know, we're getting into that season where it's you know,
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: fourth of July is right around the corner, and then
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: it feels like we blink and all of a sudden
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: it's Thanksgiving and Christmas.
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: And for her and I mean I wasn't sober ever
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: for holidays.
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: Until I got sober, so doing those things so where
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: it was.
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: Like at all it's uncomfy. Yeah, yeah, it is uncomfy.
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: But I didn't die, So there's that. Here we are.
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: What would you guys say to someone who's scared to ask.
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: For help, Uh, you're not alone.
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: I have yet to meet anybody in Harview that is
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: not there to help people. I think all of my
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: coworkers have really big hearts and they want to see
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: the best in everybody that watks through those doors.
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: So that would be what I would say advice to
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: someone scared to ask for hope? Culture will I what
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: I say? Oh no, what would I say? Scared ask
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: for help? I tell them just to do it, because
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: the longer you wait, you're not gonna want to help,
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: want that help anymore. That phone is like a thousand
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: pounds once you try to call. But once you get
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: it done, you could even just send a text maybe
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: to somebody and they can point you in the right direction. Yeah.
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: So if you have Joel's number and you're struggling Houston,
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: text her.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: She will get you ready.
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: M right.
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: What is something that you had to grieve in recovery?
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: The old me, the the drugs. I feel like that
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: was no honestly, Like even in my first try recovery,
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: it was the death of my dad, the death of
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: my grandpa. So over goes with my cousin. It's kind
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: of crazy, how like I didn't realize I never grieved
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: that fully. Like I cried, yeah, but I didn't really
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: feel it. And I'm still feeling those pains today. So
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: that's something that I need to work on too. It's
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: just that grieving of family members. It's been a couple
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: of years now, but that's something that I'm working on today.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: I love that you can admit that you're still working
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: on it, because I think so often we, especially in recovery,
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: get to these places of no, I'm fine, I got it,
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: it doesn't bother me anymore. So I like that you're
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: open and honest about No, it does still bother me,
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: and it does still hurt, And that's okay as long
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: as you don't unpack and that hurt.
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: Yep. And I'm doing a therapy whenever I remember to
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: make my mployments with heart View as well. It's kind
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: of cool how they have everything all there, you know, like, yeah,
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: you have, they have. I didn't know they Harald out there.
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: It's pretty cool. I'm very convenient, and it's I just
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: really love it there. That's awesome.
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: What message or hope do you guys want to leave
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: listeners with today.
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: I hate that you can make me go first, but
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: I think at the end of the day, like we
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: all want to see you succeed.
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: Like there's more people in your corner than you realize
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: that don't even know who you are, right, Like we
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: are complete strangers in that building to you. But I guarantee,
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: like everybody in there is willing to help you with
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: whatever you need. I think that we have some amazing counselors,
• 30:50
  Speaker 3: case managers, providers, nurses, Like our whole team is just
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: full of people who love people, you know, and like
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: that's one thing that I really love about working at
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: Harview is like how much they love people.
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: So yeah, that would be I don't know why I
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: let her for go first, and I always forget that.
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: What message or hope do you want to leave listeners
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: with today that if you're struggling with addiction, don't be
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: afraid to ask for help.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: It's okay to not be okay, it's okay to be scared,
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: but you're not always going to be scared. Once you
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: get past those first couple of weeks, it's you're gonna
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: get your life back. And i'd like to see, like
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: I'd like to think that I'm like a little vision
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: of hope, you know, because like I never once thought
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: I'd be doing what I'm doing today, you know, I
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: never once thought that i'd be happy, even though it's
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: uncomfortable to me today, I'm just glad that I get
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: to feel it. You get to be okay with that,
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: So I just want to tell people it's going to
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: be Okay.
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: Well, I'm here to tell you that you are a
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: vision of hope.
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: Okay, She's so cool. She is sly, so cool.
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: Her story is also on the harveew page. I don't
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: know if she wanted me to share that volume. Like
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: she's so cool, Like her story is really cool. She's
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: a cool human be and I love knowing her.
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: Well, thank you both for coming on and sharing your
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: knowledge and inspiration with not just with me, but all
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: of our listeners.
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: Foll