Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #752 Moving On From Wanting to Quit Parenting

Transcript

#752 Moving On From Wanting to Quit Parenting · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

0:03
Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
0:07
Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers.
0:10
Speaker 2: Now, I came up and I got the air. I
0:12
Speaker 2: got back on my board, I padded back out and
0:14
Speaker 2: I got some more amazing waves. That's really to take
0:16
Speaker 2: her message big waves, parenting world heavy water. But as
0:22
Speaker 2: so long as we can stay calm, get out of
0:25
Speaker 2: the sweep, it'll work out.
0:26
Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, my mum
0:30
Speaker 1: and dad.
0:30
Speaker 2: Hello, this is doctor Justin Colson, the founder of Happy
0:32
Speaker 2: Families dot com dode you. I'm here with Kylie, my
0:34
Speaker 2: wife and unto our six daughters. Kylie, the weekend is
0:38
Speaker 2: just around the corner, and that means our Friday episode
0:41
Speaker 2: of I'll Do Better Too of the podcast is called
0:43
Speaker 2: I'll Do Better Tomorrow. You know what I'm trying to say,
0:46
Speaker 2: I'm excited for the weekend. I'll Do Better Tomorrow for
0:48
Speaker 2: those of you who are new to the podcast, is
0:50
Speaker 2: the opportunity that we take to reflect on the week
0:52
Speaker 2: that was and work out how do we do things better?
0:55
Speaker 2: Where do we go wrong, what do we do right?
0:57
Speaker 2: How do we do better tomorrow? When it comes to
0:59
Speaker 2: the way we raising our family Kylie, just before we
1:02
Speaker 2: get into it, I want to reflect on last week's
1:05
Speaker 2: I'll be about it tomorrow. If you didn't catch it, I
1:07
Speaker 2: think the only way to talk about it is to
1:11
Speaker 2: confess that I said last week that I wanted to
1:14
Speaker 2: quit parenting. I'm done, I've had enough. Just over it
1:18
Speaker 2: and we'll talk about this in just a sec. But
1:20
Speaker 2: I hate to say it. It got worse. It actually
1:22
Speaker 2: got worse. More to come on that in a moment. However,
1:26
Speaker 2: as a result of our podcast, I shared what I
1:29
Speaker 2: had talked about on Facebook and a couple of hundred
1:32
Speaker 2: comments came through it. It kind of blew up the
1:34
Speaker 2: parenting expert on Australia's leading parenting Educators saying that he
1:38
Speaker 2: wants to stop being a parent. I guess got people.
1:41
Speaker 2: Most people were actually quite empathic and also shared, yeah,
1:45
Speaker 2: I want to quit parenting as well. It's hard. But
1:48
Speaker 2: I got one email. In fact, we received this email
1:51
Speaker 2: from Kira, who emailed us podcasts at Happy Families dot
1:54
Speaker 2: com dot and Kylie. Here's what she said morning, Justin
1:56
Speaker 2: and Kylie, I'm in tears. Thank you. It's funny, that,
1:59
Speaker 2: isn't it. I'm in tears. Thanks so much. For making
2:01
Speaker 2: me cry. Firstly, justin thanks for sharing your open and
2:04
Speaker 2: honest opinion about feeling over parenting at the moment. It
2:07
Speaker 2: was greatly appreciated and deeply felt. Second, Kylie is a
2:10
Speaker 2: number four whose eldest is currently sixteen. You had me
2:13
Speaker 2: in tears. I felt like maybe I've lost her forever,
2:15
Speaker 2: but to know that she will come back if I
2:17
Speaker 2: can just hang in there, maybe for a couple more years,
2:19
Speaker 2: was so reassuring. I'm a long time listener, a huge
2:22
Speaker 2: fan of supporter of your work, and having moved to
2:24
Speaker 2: the Sunshine Coast in January last year. Also, I've thoroughly
2:27
Speaker 2: enjoyed listening to you both every day. Thanks and enjoy
2:30
Speaker 2: your wee time this weekend. So that was from Kira.
2:32
Speaker 2: What a wonderful, wonderful email podcasts at Happy Families dot
2:35
Speaker 2: com dot you if you have any feedback for us
2:37
Speaker 2: on the podcast, Kylie, I think that off the back
2:42
Speaker 2: of that email and off the back of last week's podcast,
2:45
Speaker 2: which is definitely worth a listen if you missed it.
2:48
Speaker 2: Let's talk about our I'll do better tomorrow this week?
2:51
Speaker 2: Can I go first? Since I've preempted, go for it? Okay,
2:55
Speaker 2: it got worse. I wanted to quit parenting. When we
2:58
Speaker 2: recorded the podcast, it went We're on Friday had dropped
3:00
Speaker 2: on Friday, and the weekend was even worse. In fact,
3:04
Speaker 2: in some ways, Kylie, I felt like, how do I
3:08
Speaker 2: say this? Twenty something years ago, when I quit my
3:11
Speaker 2: radio career and went back to school so I could
3:13
Speaker 2: be a bitter parent, I did it because I was
3:16
Speaker 2: just making such a mess of things, And in some ways,
3:18
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm no better now than I was then,
3:20
Speaker 2: Like I just cannot believe how difficult things have been.
3:25
Speaker 2: Just recently, I felt like I absolutely blew it across
3:28
Speaker 2: the weekend, and because I blew it so badly and
3:31
Speaker 2: put me into a great, big spin, I was already
3:33
Speaker 2: feeling lousy, but then I started to feel lousy er,
3:36
Speaker 2: and I don't remember the last time that I felt
3:39
Speaker 2: so bad for such a prolonged period of time. I
3:42
Speaker 2: knew what I needed to do, I just couldn't bring
3:44
Speaker 2: myself to do it. People recognized that I wasn't doing well.
3:47
Speaker 2: They reached out, and I ignored them. Didn't want to
3:49
Speaker 2: talk to anybody, because what am I going to say?
3:52
Speaker 2: I don't have conversations with people about this awful stuff
3:55
Speaker 2: that they can't do anything about either. I don't want
3:57
Speaker 2: to talk about it. Really really, really tough time. And
4:01
Speaker 2: I had an experience while I was out surfing trying
4:03
Speaker 2: to clear my mind. For those who don't know, I
4:06
Speaker 2: love surfing, and because we live on the Sunshine Coast,
4:09
Speaker 2: we've had absolutely enormous surf for the last week or so.
4:15
Speaker 2: I jumped off the rocks at my favorite point break nearby,
4:18
Speaker 2: and it was treacherous jumping off the rocks, really really dangerous,
4:22
Speaker 2: lots of water sweeping across the rocks, and it's just
4:26
Speaker 2: a it's not a smart thing to do. You have
4:28
Speaker 2: to be very experienced to do it. But I got
4:30
Speaker 2: to the edge of the rocks, I jumped off the rocks,
4:31
Speaker 2: paddled out, caught a couple of waves, and at one point,
4:33
Speaker 2: after a few waves, I ended up in this current,
4:37
Speaker 2: and no matter how much I paddled, I couldn't get
4:40
Speaker 2: out of the current. I was trying to paddle back
4:42
Speaker 2: out past the waves, the waves kept on coming through
4:45
Speaker 2: and pushing me into the current. The sweep, the tide,
4:48
Speaker 2: all that sort of stuff was just holding me in place,
4:50
Speaker 2: very very close to a really big rock wall and
4:53
Speaker 2: no matter how hard I paddled, I just could not
4:56
Speaker 2: get out. After about fifteen minutes, I realized that I
4:59
Speaker 2: was in a predicament, and so I turned my surfboard
5:03
Speaker 2: around and I actually caught one of the waves even
5:05
Speaker 2: further into well further away from where all the waves
5:09
Speaker 2: were breaking, and basically I went into shore, climbed up
5:11
Speaker 2: the rocks, ran back around the beach to the rocks
5:14
Speaker 2: where you jump off, and this time I couldn't get
5:18
Speaker 2: back out. The tide had changed in the intervening forty
5:21
Speaker 2: fifty sixty minutes, and there was too much water sweeping
5:24
Speaker 2: across the rocks. The surf was bigger as well, and
5:26
Speaker 2: it was simply impossible to get off the rocks, and
5:30
Speaker 2: so I had to run back along the beach and
5:32
Speaker 2: paddle out near that rock wall where I'd been caught
5:34
Speaker 2: in that sweep already. And it took me about twenty
5:37
Speaker 2: five minutes to paddle back out and start catching waves again.
5:40
Speaker 2: As it happened, I caught some of the best waves
5:43
Speaker 2: of my life that day, and some of the biggest
5:44
Speaker 2: waves as well. But while all this was going on,
5:47
Speaker 2: I was reflecting on the whole parenting thing. There's a
5:49
Speaker 2: metaphor here this applies to parenting.
5:52
Speaker 3: Well, as you were sharing your story, I was literally going,
5:55
Speaker 3: this is explaining my whole life.
5:57
Speaker 4: Yeah, likely, Like there are some where I feel like
6:01
Speaker 4: I'm stuck on the rocks and there's nowhere to go,
6:03
Speaker 4: Like everywhere looks like it's covered in glass, and I can't,
6:07
Speaker 4: I can't, I can't make.
6:08
Speaker 5: A right move.
6:09
Speaker 2: Well, there's no glass on the rocks that there particular
6:12
Speaker 2: point break, but there's a lot of barnacles and there's
6:14
Speaker 2: a lot of sharp things. I mean I have Actually
6:16
Speaker 2: I'm still nursing the wounds on my feet from a
6:18
Speaker 2: few cuts from those rocks. But the reality is parenting
6:23
Speaker 2: can feel a little bit treacherous. It can feel like
6:25
Speaker 2: the water is sweeping all around us. It can feel
6:28
Speaker 2: like there's so much coming at us.
6:29
Speaker 5: Well that no matter how hard you paddle, you're just stuck.
6:32
Speaker 2: Right, And that's what I was going to say. Even
6:33
Speaker 2: if you get off the rocks and you get into
6:35
Speaker 2: the water, there are some incredible highlights. There are some
6:38
Speaker 2: moments where you go, oh my goodness, this is the best.
6:42
Speaker 2: But then five minutes later you're in that sweep and
6:44
Speaker 2: you're paddling like hell to get out of it, and
6:47
Speaker 2: you just can't, and you have to turn around and
6:51
Speaker 2: go back in and start all over again. And that's
6:54
Speaker 2: kind of how it's been. That's kind of how it's been.
6:58
Speaker 2: It's been really a tough kid week, and it's just
7:01
Speaker 2: been there's been a handful of moments where a child
7:06
Speaker 2: has come in and sat on the bed and said, hell,
7:08
Speaker 2: love you, dad. Or what you did for Valentine's Day,
7:12
Speaker 2: which maybe you're going to talk about later on the shore,
7:13
Speaker 2: but you did a really special Valentine's Day for me
7:16
Speaker 2: and the kids and put together a big Valentine's wall
7:18
Speaker 2: with all the different things that we love about everyone
7:21
Speaker 2: in our family. And it's when you're in that sweep,
7:25
Speaker 2: you're in that current, and you put in the extra effort,
7:27
Speaker 2: you paddle extra hard, or alternatively, you catch your wave
7:30
Speaker 2: into the beach and you reset before you go back
7:33
Speaker 2: out and face the waves again. And I feel like
7:35
Speaker 2: that's what this week has been quite a lot of
7:37
Speaker 2: for me. So I ldered better tomorrow is reset, get
7:40
Speaker 2: out of the sweep, get off the rocks, get into
7:42
Speaker 2: the place where you can actually catch the waves. Metaphorically speaking,
7:45
Speaker 2: that is take a breather, go for a walk, talk
7:50
Speaker 2: to the kids, do whatever you need to re set
7:54
Speaker 2: and get family life back on track, because sometimes it's
7:58
Speaker 2: really hard. Sometimes it's just really really hard, and we
8:02
Speaker 2: beat ourselves up so much as parents when we get
8:05
Speaker 2: it wrong, especially when we're a parenting expert and we've
8:07
Speaker 2: written a book about it, we'reupposed to know all about it,
8:08
Speaker 2: and then we still get it wrong. Tough gig. So
8:11
Speaker 2: here's to a much better week with a whole lot
8:13
Speaker 2: of resets taken care of. So there anything about that
8:19
Speaker 2: you want to pick apart or add two or do
8:22
Speaker 2: you want to share your older better tomorrow?
8:24
Speaker 3: Well, I guess my experiences just flow on from that,
8:26
Speaker 3: because obviously I'm intimately entwined in your experiences, and so
8:36
Speaker 3: for me, watching you spiral downwards is always really challenging.
8:41
Speaker 3: Unlike you, who has been given endless opportunities to practice
8:48
Speaker 3: being empathic and sympathetic towards me and my down spirals,
8:54
Speaker 3: I have not had the same opportunities. You have always
8:59
Speaker 3: been rock in our home. You've been very pragmatic, You're
9:02
Speaker 3: not particularly emotional about things.
9:05
Speaker 5: You have a lot more clarity.
9:07
Speaker 3: Of thought in stressful situations, and so when you are
9:11
Speaker 3: not doing well. For me, it actually is a little
9:15
Speaker 3: bit of a trigger, and I think that there must
9:19
Speaker 3: be something I'm missing if you're this worked up about it,
9:23
Speaker 3: even though I know the circumstances, even though I know
9:26
Speaker 3: the situation, clearly, I am not seeing everything because if
9:30
Speaker 3: I did, I would be just as worried as you are,
9:32
Speaker 3: or I would be just as upset as you are.
9:34
Speaker 3: There's something I'm missing. That's how I see it. So
9:38
Speaker 3: it's not about the fact that clearly this must.
9:40
Speaker 5: Be my fault or anything like that. It's literally because
9:45
Speaker 5: I have such a high respect and I guess or
9:51
Speaker 5: at the way you see the world when you're not
9:54
Speaker 5: seeing the world the same way I'm seeing it, all
9:56
Speaker 5: of a sudden, I just I go into panic.
9:59
Speaker 2: Is it okay? If I jump for a sec and
10:01
Speaker 2: just highlight two things based on what you're saying. Every
10:05
Speaker 2: couple there's going to be somebody who's I guess the
10:08
Speaker 2: I don't want to use this term because I don't
10:09
Speaker 2: see myself as this, but for simplicity's sake, the strong one,
10:13
Speaker 2: the anchor, the rock, whatever whatever metaphor you want to
10:15
Speaker 2: use to me, that's you. But it's interesting that you
10:19
Speaker 2: see me as that, because I just think that you're
10:21
Speaker 2: you're you're the glue that makes our family hold together. Nevertheless,
10:26
Speaker 2: if you're saying that about me, the pressure that the
10:29
Speaker 2: rock of the family feels in terms of that, that's
10:32
Speaker 2: a lot. That's a big weight to carry. It's a
10:34
Speaker 2: big weight to carry. And if you think that the
10:38
Speaker 2: entire emotional wellbeing of your family is predicated on you
10:41
Speaker 2: holding it together, that that really boosts the challenge and
10:46
Speaker 2: it makes you feel even worse when you're falling apart.
10:50
Speaker 2: I think it's worth highlighting. And also, secondly, if you're
10:53
Speaker 2: a single parent, if you're doing it on your own,
10:56
Speaker 2: you know that it all comes down to you. I
10:58
Speaker 2: just want to acknowledge that if you're a single parent
11:00
Speaker 2: right now and you're listening, there's a lot, there's a
11:03
Speaker 2: lot of your shoulders. It's a heavy, heavy weight to carry, and.
11:09
Speaker 3: So often for me, the challenge is how to support
11:12
Speaker 3: you when I'm actually slowly falling apart inside because you're
11:17
Speaker 3: falling apart, and not taking any of it personally because
11:23
Speaker 3: I actually, deep down understand that it isn't about me,
11:27
Speaker 3: but all of my attempts to be helpful often hinder
11:33
Speaker 3: the process because I actually kind of start to want
11:37
Speaker 3: a problem solve. I just want to fix it because
11:40
Speaker 3: I don't like this feeling ye at all. I don't
11:43
Speaker 3: want this to continue. So I can see the solutions inside.
11:46
Speaker 3: I know exactly what needs to happen, and I just
11:48
Speaker 3: I want it fixed.
11:50
Speaker 2: And how do I respond when you forget to fix it?
11:53
Speaker 3: You pretty much walked away. I can't do this. I
11:56
Speaker 3: can't talk to you right now, and you left because
11:59
Speaker 3: I actually know, I know, I know, And that's what
12:01
Speaker 3: I struggle with more because I know you not and
12:04
Speaker 3: I'm like, if you know, why are you not just
12:06
Speaker 3: doing it?
12:07
Speaker 5: You know exactly what you need to do.
12:08
Speaker 2: Sometimes it's just sometimes you just can't do it. Sometimes
12:11
Speaker 2: it's just too hard. That's the challenge. That's the great challenge,
12:15
Speaker 2: being able to get past that and do it. But
12:18
Speaker 2: sometimes you can't. You're paddling and paddling and paddling, and
12:21
Speaker 2: you just can't get out of the sweep.
12:23
Speaker 3: And so I was really grateful that on Sunday I
12:26
Speaker 3: had an opportunity to speak with a friend and just
12:29
Speaker 3: I guess get my own perspective on things. And it
12:31
Speaker 3: wasn't actually even about you. It was literally about me
12:35
Speaker 3: and how I was processing what was going on and
12:39
Speaker 3: just needing somebody to kind of say, I see you,
12:45
Speaker 3: I get it. And this person hasn't experienced any of
12:48
Speaker 3: the things that we're going through right now, but they
12:50
Speaker 3: were able to literally weep with me and just recognize
12:54
Speaker 3: that where I am right now, where we are right
12:57
Speaker 3: now and our family circumstances is really hard. It's just
13:01
Speaker 3: really hard, and there isn't actually any solutions right now.
13:05
Speaker 5: It's just hard.
13:06
Speaker 3: Just like you being out in that you know, massive
13:09
Speaker 3: current and paddling and paddling and paddling and feeling like
13:12
Speaker 3: you're not getting anywhere, that's kind of where we're sitting
13:15
Speaker 3: right now with things. And so I was able to
13:18
Speaker 3: come home with a little bit more clarity and just
13:20
Speaker 3: calm and peace in a piece that it was going
13:24
Speaker 3: to be okay. And you had sent me a text
13:28
Speaker 3: elier in the day to just kind of explain to
13:30
Speaker 3: me how you were feeling and the acknowledgment that you
13:32
Speaker 3: know what you need to do and you don't need
13:34
Speaker 3: me to tell you what to do, and that you
13:38
Speaker 3: just needed me to love you. Yeah, And when I
13:42
Speaker 3: sat down with you, I just said I don't. I
13:44
Speaker 3: don't actually know what to do right now because I
13:47
Speaker 3: think that I'm being helpful, but obviously everything that I'm
13:49
Speaker 3: doing to be helpful actually pushes you further away from me.
13:53
Speaker 3: And you were able to articulate just so beautifully that
13:56
Speaker 3: you just wanted me to treat you as though there
13:59
Speaker 3: was nothing wrong, that you weren't broken, that you didn't
14:02
Speaker 3: need fixing, that you were just the person that I've
14:05
Speaker 3: always loved, and that I would continue to love you
14:09
Speaker 3: exactly the same way. And I took that on board,
14:13
Speaker 3: and that was really hard, because, in spite of the
14:15
Speaker 3: fact that I know that what's going on is actually
14:17
Speaker 3: not about me, I obviously will take things that happen personally,
14:23
Speaker 3: and so trying to get into a space where I
14:25
Speaker 3: can just go, you know what, this isn't about me
14:28
Speaker 3: and he just needs my love right now took a
14:31
Speaker 3: little bit of effort. But on Sunday night, I sat
14:36
Speaker 3: down with all the kids and you kind of came
14:38
Speaker 3: in halfway through it, and we were talking about Valentine's
14:41
Speaker 3: Day coming up and all of those kinds of things,
14:43
Speaker 3: and I asked miss Ate if she'd say our family
14:46
Speaker 3: prayer to head us off to bed, and this most
14:50
Speaker 3: angelic little girl just said the most beautiful prayer over
14:56
Speaker 3: our family that we would find a way to love
14:59
Speaker 3: each other. And just that one little thing from the
15:05
Speaker 3: youngest member in our family just melted my heart and
15:11
Speaker 3: helped me to recognize that all any of us want
15:14
Speaker 3: is love. No matter what we're experiencing life, we just
15:17
Speaker 3: want to be loved. And so I was able to
15:20
Speaker 3: kind of be what you needed me to be in
15:24
Speaker 3: that moment, and over the next few days there was.
15:27
Speaker 5: Just this beautiful shift.
15:30
Speaker 3: The load, the heaviness that we're carrying is still there,
15:34
Speaker 3: but I feel like we're able to come together in
15:37
Speaker 3: a way that lightened the individual load that we were
15:42
Speaker 3: carrying together.
15:44
Speaker 1: Yeah.
15:45
Speaker 2: Yeah, I hope that the take home message that you
15:47
Speaker 2: get from this podcast is I guess two fold. Number one,
15:51
Speaker 2: family life can be really hard, and even without family life,
15:54
Speaker 2: life can be really hard. Personally, We just we all
15:56
Speaker 2: carry a load and sometimes we cope with it really
15:59
Speaker 2: really well. Another time it gets too much and we
16:00
Speaker 2: just kind of have to put it down and have
16:02
Speaker 2: a rest for a day or two or a week
16:03
Speaker 2: or two, and that's actually okay, But we've got to
16:07
Speaker 2: be able to figure out a way that we can
16:09
Speaker 2: navigate our relationships and our interactions with others while we're
16:13
Speaker 2: doing that, and I think over time, you and I've
16:16
Speaker 2: gotten pretty good at it. I mean, we've been married
16:17
Speaker 2: for twenty five years next month, and it's taken a
16:21
Speaker 2: lot of practice, but I think we're dealing with those
16:24
Speaker 2: tough times better now than ever. The second thing that
16:27
Speaker 2: I hope you take from this as a take home
16:29
Speaker 2: message is that life, given enough time, sorts itself out.
16:36
Speaker 2: We get out of the rip, the big waves stop,
16:39
Speaker 2: the cyclone goes away, the ocean calms, we find an
16:43
Speaker 2: opportunity to catch the waves and have those highlights. And
16:47
Speaker 2: I really want to come back to that. While I
16:49
Speaker 2: was surfing over the last week, I have literally had
16:51
Speaker 2: some of the best waves of my life. But those
16:54
Speaker 2: waves have required a lot of work, so much effort.
16:58
Speaker 2: I have paddled, I reckon. I've lost about five kilos
17:01
Speaker 2: from paddling so much this week, and I have been
17:05
Speaker 2: in some rocky places, and I've also taken a couple
17:08
Speaker 2: of beatings. I took one hole down on one wave
17:11
Speaker 2: that was one of the longest hold downs that I've
17:13
Speaker 2: ever had in my life. I was stuck on the
17:15
Speaker 2: bottom of the reef, the rocks down there, and the
17:19
Speaker 2: wave just kept on holding me down, and I knew
17:22
Speaker 2: I had to stay calm. I knew I had to
17:24
Speaker 2: just let the wave wash over me and eventually it
17:26
Speaker 2: would pass. But at some point I started to realize
17:28
Speaker 2: that I was running out of air. And as I
17:30
Speaker 2: swam to the surface because the wave had gone, I
17:33
Speaker 2: couldn't believe how far away the surface was. Like it
17:35
Speaker 2: was shocking to me how long I stayed out of
17:37
Speaker 2: the water. But I came up and I got the air,
17:41
Speaker 2: I got back on my board, I padded back out
17:43
Speaker 2: and I got some more amazing waves. And that's I
17:45
Speaker 2: think that's really to take home message, big waves, pairing world,
17:50
Speaker 2: heavy water. But so long as we can stay calm,
17:55
Speaker 2: get out of the sweep, it'll it'll work out. Have
17:58
Speaker 2: I pushed the metaphor too far? Or is that okay?
18:00
Speaker 3: No? I think it's great for me. For me, the
18:03
Speaker 3: big learning and it was amplified watching you go through
18:07
Speaker 3: it is that when our kids are having big emotions,
18:12
Speaker 3: as the big people in the room, we just want
18:13
Speaker 3: to fix it. And your experience with me trying to
18:17
Speaker 3: fix it was withdrawal.
18:20
Speaker 2: Just treat me like nothing's the matter.
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Speaker 5: Leave me alone. I can't.
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Speaker 3: I can't do this. And so to see that and
18:26
Speaker 3: recognize in such a just tangible way that all you
18:31
Speaker 3: actually needed was for me to just love you seem
18:34
Speaker 3: so easy, But it's really hard because we so often
18:38
Speaker 3: take things so personally when our loved ones, whoever they are, kids,
18:42
Speaker 3: adults are like, are having big emotions.
18:46
Speaker 2: And those big emotions and never about you. They're always
18:48
Speaker 2: just about what's going on inside the person.
18:50
Speaker 3: But the load that it's taken off me to recognize
18:52
Speaker 3: that it's not my responsibility to fix it. I don't
18:55
Speaker 3: have to fix it. I fix it by actually just
18:58
Speaker 3: loving you.
19:00
Speaker 2: Strong take her message. The Happy Families podcast is produced
19:02
Speaker 2: by Justin Rowan from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce, our executive producer.
19:05
Speaker 2: Have a great weekend. We really hope that if you're
19:08
Speaker 2: carrying a heavy load, that you find some of those
19:12
Speaker 2: perfect parenting waves to catch across the weekend. And if
19:16
Speaker 2: you'd like more information about making your family happier, please
19:18
Speaker 2: visit us at Happy Families dot com dot a