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Transcript

Why You Go Quiet When It Matters Most (It’s Not a Confidence Issue) · The Arise with Anita Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Rides of the Needle Podcast.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: The space for Solomon's I can drink on the optional.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_01: I mean how needed podcasts.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: We embody it.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_01: We have to make one.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: So here are full of episodes for me and interviews with school triple leaders, the best in their field, who live what they teach and rise by example.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: Each conversation is a callus for your next breakthrough.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: You're not broken, you're breaking through.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: Let's go ahead and rise together.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome back to the Rise with the Nina podcast, or welcome if you're new here.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_02: I just wanted to take a moment to say, if you are new here, you are in the right place, and I am so honored to be walking this journey with you.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_02: Before we dive in, I'm going to invite you to take a breath with me.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_02: Inhale gently through the nose.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_02: And exhale slowly through the mouth.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_02: Now if you're walking, driving, or sitting somewhere, I want to invite you to let your shoulders to drop.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_02: Let your jaw soften and let your body know you're not in trouble.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_02: I want to start by saying this clearly and lovingly.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_02: If you've ever gone quiet, if your mind went blank, if you've ever felt like your throat closed or your chest tightened right when you wanted to say something, especially if it's been a truth that you haven't spoken out before, even though you've rehearsed it, there is nothing wrong with you.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_02: You're not weak, you're not broken, and you're definitely not lacking confidence.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_02: And here's the thing: what most women think is a confidence issue or a boldness issue is actually just a capacity issue.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_02: Because your body is always asking one core question before you speak.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_02: Will I still be safe if I say this out loud?
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_02: And if the answer, even unconsciously, is I don't know, or even worse, no, your nervous system will choose protection every single time.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_02: And that protection might look like going quiet, over-explaining, smiling even when you're uncomfortable, or telling yourself, I'll just say it later, but later never really comes.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_02: And if this feels like I'm calling you out, I just want you to know I've been there many times.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_02: And it's not because you're afraid of your truth, but it's because your body isn't resourced enough to stay present while you're expressing it.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_02: And that matters because voice isn't just sound, it's actually exposure.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_02: And here's something no one talks about in this space.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_02: The shutdown usually happens after a growth period, not before it.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_02: Because when you think about it, when you start setting your boundaries, when you start to raise your standards, when you stop abandoning yourself, your nervous system goes, wait, this is new.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_02: What are we doing?
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_02: Are we sure we're safe here?
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_02: So if you've felt more sensitive or more aware, perhaps more activated, that doesn't mean you're regressing.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_02: It just means your nervous system is learning how to hold more truth.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_02: It's learning how to start voicing the truth without armor.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_02: And that's a very call it tender place to be in.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_02: And I just want to take a moment because if you're listening to this, going, wow, she's about to give me a somatic practice.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_02: I've been there.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_02: There's been so many times I've had hesitancy to even speak my truth.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_02: And fun fact, setting boundaries is still something I'm working on.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_02: Because as people pleasers, especially as women, we're taught to over good, we're taught to overextend.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_02: And then there's that slight resentment that tends to build up from not filling up our own cups.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_02: And there was something that I was reminded of this weekend, actually.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_02: And that was when we don't fill out our own cups, eventually we are unable to give what we don't have.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_02: I want to take you through a practice.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_02: And it's just something gentle you can practice right now, without any pressure.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_02: But I want you to ta think of a sentence you've been wanting to say lately.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_02: And it doesn't have to be your hardest truth.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't have to be the thing that you know you need to say.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_02: Start with something small.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_02: Something you feel almost comfortable releasing, but still haven't had the courage to say out loud.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_02: It just needs to be a truth.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_02: And I want you to place one hand on your chest, the other on your belly.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_02: And just notice is your breath high or low as you think about it?
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_02: Is your jaw back to being clenched?
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_02: Is your body leaning forward?
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_02: Or are you pulling back?
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_02: Don't change anything yet.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_02: Just notice.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_02: Get that awareness.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_02: Now very softly say the sentence inside of yourself.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_02: Speak it lightly out loud.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_02: And instead of focusing on the words, ask, can I stay present with myself while this is true?
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_02: If you feel any tightness within your body, that's okay.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_02: If you feel heat or emotions of sadness, or perhaps there's that lump in your throat, that's okay.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_02: Capacity isn't about pushing through, it's actually about staying present in the discomfort for two seconds, longer than you could before.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_02: And that's how you begin to slowly build out trust.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_02: You don't need to force your voice to come through.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_02: Your body will open when it feels safe and when it feels bad.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_02: So if you've been judging yourself for being quiet, I want you to go ahead and replace that judgment with curiosity.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_02: Your silence was never a failure.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_02: It was intelligence.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_02: And now we're just teaching your body that trace doesn't mean danger anymore.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_02: You're allowed to go slow.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_02: You're allowed to pause mid-sentence.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_02: You're allowed to choose when and how you speak to who you tell.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_02: That is power.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_02: And I'll be right here with you as you keep building this practice.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_02: Because I'm building it with alongside of you.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_02: And actually, something I want to share is perhaps even not only saying what you have to say and practicing it in the mirror, but maybe if you have someone you love that you trust that's on this journey with you, practice with them.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, I have this truth.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_02: I want to practice speaking out loud.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_02: It's uncomfortable.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_02: Can I sit with you as I start to say it?
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_02: And just see how that feels.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: Now, before we close, take one more breath with me.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: And when you're ready, gently return to your body.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_02: But before you go, if this episode landed in your body, if something softened or made a little sense, more more so, I want to gently invite you to share.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_02: Share this episode with a woman who might need to hear this right now.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_02: A friend, a sister, a woman who keeps thinking she's too much or not enough.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_02: And I've been guilty of both.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_02: But really, she's just protecting herself.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_02: And if you feel called, leaving a review is one of the best ways you can support the show and help women re help women get this information.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_02: Not because of the algorithms, but because these conversations actually matter.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_02: So thank you for being here.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for choosing presence over pressure.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_02: And thank you for honoring your body as you rise to your next level.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_02: I'll be in the next episode.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_02: And remember, take a breath and take care of yourself.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for rising with me today.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_01: If this episode moved you, share it.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: Tag me at Arise with Anita, and make sure to subscribe so you never miss a future activation.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_01: And if you feel called, leave a quick review.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_01: It helps more women find the space and rise into their power.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_01: Your next level is already waiting.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: Now go clean it.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_01: I'll see you in the next episode.