Latest / The Breakfast Club / Best Of Full Interview: Gia Casey Talks New Book "Real Life, Real Love", Cheating Scandals, Rags To Riches + More

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Best Of Full Interview: Gia Casey Talks New Book "Real Life, Real Love", Cheating Scandals, Rags To Riches + More · The Breakfast Club

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Wake that answer up in the morning. The Breakfast Club Morning.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: Everybody is DJ Envy, Angela Yee, Charlamagne the guy we
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: are the Breakfast Club.
• 0:10
  Speaker 3: You got a special guest in the building.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Never met her before.
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: She's an actress, she's an author, she's a mom. Ladies
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: and gentlemen, it's a wife and my wife.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Yes, Gia, Hello, welcome, Geah. What that's this one name?
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: She's like Madonna Beyonce. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. How
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: nervous are you, sir?
• 0:29
  Speaker 4: Seriously, he's been acting real weird. You guys have a
• 0:35
  Speaker 4: book out, Real Life, Real Love, Life, Lessons on Joy,
• 0:38
  Speaker 4: pain and the Magic that holds us together. And I've
• 0:40
  Speaker 4: been dying to ask you this question, Gia in person,
• 0:45
  Speaker 4: how do you feel about Charlamagne and be flirting with
• 0:47
  Speaker 4: each other every day?
• 0:50
  Speaker 5: Kind of turns me on.
• 0:56
  Speaker 6: I didn't expect that answer.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: No, I'm nervous, people, Okay.
• 1:05
  Speaker 7: Explain No, I mean, I mean, I think it's a
• 1:07
  Speaker 7: little strange, but I'm amused.
• 1:10
  Speaker 5: By it, brotherly love, amused by it.
• 1:13
  Speaker 6: Does anything go too far?
• 1:14
  Speaker 8: Ever?
• 1:14
  Speaker 7: Or no?
• 1:15
  Speaker 5: It's all in good fun and all it is. I
• 1:17
  Speaker 5: don't mind it.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: So you didn't mind that when he gave me the ass.
• 1:21
  Speaker 9: All context everybody ever watched the show every day context?
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: Please?
• 1:28
  Speaker 7: Okay, wait, can you guys sound by that.
• 1:32
  Speaker 9: When he gave me a mold of his ass's and
• 1:34
  Speaker 9: it wasn't my ass, It was a mold of a ass. Yes,
• 1:37
  Speaker 9: I thought it was the mold of your actual No, No,
• 1:39
  Speaker 9: should ain't it?
• 1:42
  Speaker 6: And then what about when they touch each other and stuff.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: That's never happened. Don't touch, don't touch.
• 1:46
  Speaker 7: You've never seen them that hasn't happened. No, you want
• 1:49
  Speaker 7: to tell me something I need to know.
• 1:50
  Speaker 6: No, they like rub up brush against each other. If
• 1:52
  Speaker 6: they're walking out the door.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: Going triting, rubbup against each other. We don't ever do it.
• 1:56
  Speaker 6: They going the revolving door together.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: That happened one time.
• 2:01
  Speaker 7: Explain that now I need to answer.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: It was stupid. I don't even know how to apply.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: It was really stupid. It was really to be very intentional.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: It wasn't I don't even know.
• 2:13
  Speaker 7: And then what makes his way walking.
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: Around was so stupid?
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: We was giggle because it was so stupid. At the giggle.
• 2:20
  Speaker 7: All the way through it, you guys just added insulted
• 2:22
  Speaker 7: sitting there in the one slot giggling together.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: Oh man.
• 2:30
  Speaker 9: Anyway, back to the matter at hand, I don't like
• 2:33
  Speaker 9: real life, real love.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: What is that magic that holds y'all together?
• 2:37
  Speaker 5: You think, you know?
• 2:41
  Speaker 7: Whenever I find that people come to our house or
• 2:45
  Speaker 7: are around us, I think they're kind of surprised at
• 2:47
  Speaker 7: how much fun we have together. I find him to
• 2:50
  Speaker 7: be very charming and charismatic, and one of the things
• 2:54
  Speaker 7: that I love most about him is his boyish nature.
• 2:57
  Speaker 7: So we really have a lot of fun together, and
• 2:59
  Speaker 7: we always since we first met.
• 3:02
  Speaker 5: The first week we spent together, I thought to myself, Wow,
• 3:04
  Speaker 5: it's a lot of fun.
• 3:06
  Speaker 7: Like he's he's like a friend, you know, and that's
• 3:08
  Speaker 7: part of the magic.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: And you knew that this was the person who the
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: rest of your life.
• 3:12
  Speaker 5: After about two weeks of knowing him.
• 3:14
  Speaker 6: Yes, he knew before you even spent a day together.
• 3:19
  Speaker 7: Explain before before we even spent a day together.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: That well, when I first when I first seen you,
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: I mean I wrote in a book that I thought
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: you were beautiful and amazing. And the first time I
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: saw you were actually running track And for people that
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: don't know, you know tracks, she's.
• 3:32
  Speaker 6: Playing track.
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: Like that The outfit, and you know he had you know,
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: big double d's and I would stop, basically stalker outside
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: and just watch her run track and watch a breast bottle.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: Like that word don't say stalk.
• 3:48
  Speaker 7: But that's actually what he was doing. It was actually stalking.
• 3:51
  Speaker 7: And I would see him. I would see him sitting
• 3:55
  Speaker 7: with his friends in this bright blue con Edison van
• 3:59
  Speaker 7: because that's what his parents bought him to trans to
• 4:02
  Speaker 7: transfer his DJ equipment from Sweet sixteen to Sweet sixteen.
• 4:08
  Speaker 7: And I would see it parked behind the fence.
• 4:11
  Speaker 5: I'm thinking to myself, like, Yo, why.
• 4:12
  Speaker 7: Is this van there every day at track practice?
• 4:19
  Speaker 6: Yo?
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: It was crazy?
• 4:21
  Speaker 7: Yeo, it was bright blue. He wasn't low, he was
• 4:25
  Speaker 7: not low.
• 4:27
  Speaker 6: He was just sitting in the And then one day
• 4:29
  Speaker 6: he emerged.
• 4:30
  Speaker 7: Actually, babe, do you remember one day he emerged from
• 4:33
  Speaker 7: the van and approached me and kicked it And I
• 4:36
  Speaker 7: was like, oh, so you're that weirdo.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: Both kids.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: She was fifteen, I was sixteen. We went to the
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: same high school.
• 4:43
  Speaker 6: So and yeah, you got skipped the grade, right, yes,
• 4:46
  Speaker 6: skipped the grade. Okay, all right?
• 4:48
  Speaker 4: So then initially, so MB you say that you knew
• 4:51
  Speaker 4: that she was going to be your wife, like right away,
• 4:53
  Speaker 4: you think it was before y'all even spoke, when he
• 4:56
  Speaker 4: was just stalking her.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: Actually know when we actually spoke, and you know, I
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: found not how you know, beautiful she was inside and
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: outside and how smart she was and caring and she
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: was just that she was the one. She was the
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life and
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: the most precious thing. So I was like, this is
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: going to be my wife.
• 5:14
  Speaker 9: I want people to get the book, but I do want,
• 5:16
  Speaker 9: you know, to explain how do you keep reinventing the
• 5:19
  Speaker 9: relationship when you start that young? Now interview is fifty something,
• 5:23
  Speaker 9: you know what I mean, you're much much younger, But
• 5:25
  Speaker 9: how do you keep fifty? How do you keep reinventing?
• 5:29
  Speaker 5: And I think that that's part of the magic. We
• 5:32
  Speaker 5: don't have to try.
• 5:33
  Speaker 7: We don't intentionally. We do a lot of things intentionally
• 5:37
  Speaker 7: and deliberately, but we don't intentionally reimagine the relationship and
• 5:42
  Speaker 7: act on that. The only thing that I would say
• 5:44
  Speaker 7: that we're good about is keeping it sexy and making
• 5:48
  Speaker 7: sure that that part of our relationship doesn't get too
• 5:51
  Speaker 7: monotonous and doesn't get stale.
• 5:53
  Speaker 5: So we have a lot of fun in that space.
• 5:56
  Speaker 7: But we don't have to think, like, God, how am
• 5:58
  Speaker 7: I gonna stop being borned of you? Or how am
• 6:01
  Speaker 7: I going to get to a point where don't annoy
• 6:02
  Speaker 7: me anymore? He legitimately does not annoy me. I look
• 6:06
  Speaker 7: forward to his phone calls every day, and we probably
• 6:10
  Speaker 7: speak on the phone about maybe eight or nine ten
• 6:12
  Speaker 7: times a day because he's away a lot, you know.
• 6:14
  Speaker 7: So he calls me on his way to the breakfast club.
• 6:16
  Speaker 7: He calls me in his way home from the breakfast club.
• 6:18
  Speaker 5: He calls me.
• 6:18
  Speaker 7: If something happens, he calls me incessantly. It's and I'm
• 6:22
  Speaker 7: never like you again.
• 6:23
  Speaker 5: I'm like again, you know. It's just that feeling.
• 6:27
  Speaker 7: That I've always had that no matter what ups or
• 6:30
  Speaker 7: downs we were going through, that never left me.
• 6:32
  Speaker 4: Now, he told us this story about the cowboy outfit.
• 6:35
  Speaker 5: He told you about that. Wait wait wait, the.
• 6:38
  Speaker 6: Cowboy outfit in college with the asses chaps that they were, Yeah,
• 6:44
  Speaker 6: you tell us about it.
• 6:45
  Speaker 7: Oh wait, ra Sehan, did you actually tell him about
• 6:46
  Speaker 7: it like on error in private?
• 6:48
  Speaker 5: I forgot that he did because it was in private.
• 6:51
  Speaker 5: This is a whole double cross.
• 6:54
  Speaker 6: Jessip as a cowboy and.
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: His he had okay, and I remember that that he
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: told his story.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: He goes, like what he did?
• 7:05
  Speaker 5: Well, we were in college.
• 7:06
  Speaker 7: Yeah, we went through a stage where we were doing
• 7:09
  Speaker 7: like a lot of uh role play.
• 7:11
  Speaker 5: Yeah, And one night I dared him to be a cowboy.
• 7:14
  Speaker 7: So we went and got the cowboy. He had like
• 7:17
  Speaker 7: the big brown hat, and then he had like the
• 7:20
  Speaker 7: little holsters and everything and big.
• 7:23
  Speaker 5: Do you remember I took pictures?
• 7:24
  Speaker 6: Where are those? Are they in the book?
• 7:26
  Speaker 7: He about maybe three years after He made me physically
• 7:31
  Speaker 7: burn them on the grill.
• 7:32
  Speaker 5: Wow, he put them on the grill and told me
• 7:34
  Speaker 5: I how to light it. Yeah, they don't exist.
• 7:36
  Speaker 6: Don't you wish you still had that?
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: Would y'all talk about role play in the book?
• 7:39
  Speaker 9: You said he likes to put on the rock Nation
• 7:41
  Speaker 9: paper plane hat and he goes, what's my name?
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: And I want you to say jiggle.
• 7:44
  Speaker 7: I didn't contribute to that chapter.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: Okay, that wasn't my work.
• 7:48
  Speaker 6: No, I didn't do they really so he wasn't lying
• 7:51
  Speaker 6: they were assless chaps.
• 7:52
  Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, he had a whole It was a whole thing.
• 7:54
  Speaker 6: I just pulled the yu gie. He did not tell
• 7:56
  Speaker 6: us that.
• 7:57
  Speaker 7: Damn it to help get my book and you will
• 8:00
  Speaker 7: learn a slew of tactics.
• 8:04
  Speaker 5: What you want out of life.
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: Okay, it was a holster, by the way, there were holsters.
• 8:09
  Speaker 6: It was a whole, but it was some other dress
• 8:11
  Speaker 6: up things.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: You go, right.
• 8:13
  Speaker 7: It was more so me dressing up and he was
• 8:16
  Speaker 7: just like the recipient of that. That that was the
• 8:17
  Speaker 7: one little and that's why it was a dare because
• 8:20
  Speaker 7: it was kind of supposed to be a joke. But
• 8:21
  Speaker 7: he never really dressed up one nurse and he was
• 8:24
  Speaker 7: a doctor.
• 8:25
  Speaker 5: That was once.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: Did you really burn the pictures?
• 8:27
  Speaker 5: I really did in front of him.
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: Wow, you didn't have.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: Negatives?
• 8:34
  Speaker 7: Was going to share that ever goes left in our relationships,
• 8:38
  Speaker 7: I have that I will ruin.
• 8:39
  Speaker 5: His entire reputation.
• 8:42
  Speaker 7: I will never be able to work again, and.
• 8:44
  Speaker 4: Might cross them over to a new audience for both
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: of you, because I know COVID hit. You guys have
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: planned to put this out earlier and then COVID hit.
• 8:56
  Speaker 4: So what was it like for y'all actually sitting down
• 8:59
  Speaker 4: and reliving some of these moments.
• 9:01
  Speaker 7: Well, COVID and the quarantine was great for us and
• 9:05
  Speaker 7: our family. It affected different people differently, but we really
• 9:09
  Speaker 7: realized that we could spend damn near one hundred percent
• 9:12
  Speaker 7: of our time together and love it. When the quarantine lifted,
• 9:15
  Speaker 7: everybody in my house was kind of sad, you know
• 9:17
  Speaker 7: about that. But we did take that opportunity to write
• 9:21
  Speaker 7: the book, and some of it was fun. Some of
• 9:25
  Speaker 7: it was fun. It was nice to be creative and
• 9:27
  Speaker 7: get your thoughts down on paper. It was work, but
• 9:32
  Speaker 7: a lot of it was difficult.
• 9:34
  Speaker 5: I'm a very open person. I'm a realist.
• 9:38
  Speaker 7: Rashean I think had a difficult time because he had
• 9:41
  Speaker 7: to relive a lot of the negative things that transpired
• 9:45
  Speaker 7: in our relationship. And he can tend to be surface
• 9:50
  Speaker 7: in some respects where you ask him a question, he
• 9:53
  Speaker 7: gives you an answer. I'm a lot more of an
• 9:55
  Speaker 7: in depth person, you know.
• 9:56
  Speaker 5: I think critically about things.
• 9:58
  Speaker 7: And when we would go over these chapters that he's
• 10:01
  Speaker 7: assigned to write, I would ask him questions like Okay,
• 10:04
  Speaker 7: you can't just answer it with a yes or a
• 10:07
  Speaker 7: no or a simple blanket like one question would mean
• 10:10
  Speaker 7: ten more questions to really get to the meet And
• 10:13
  Speaker 7: you know, I have to keep reiterating we're writing this
• 10:15
  Speaker 7: book so that people have something tangible, a reference point
• 10:19
  Speaker 7: for them to make changes. In their lives if necessary,
• 10:22
  Speaker 7: or to recognize that the person that you're with needs
• 10:24
  Speaker 7: to make changes in their lives. And it was a journey.
• 10:29
  Speaker 7: It was a journey, but I think it was difficult.
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: Nothing, it was difficult. I had to relive a lot
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: of the f boy ish I put you through.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: And you don't.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: You forget about a lot of it because you don't
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: have to relive it. But then when you start, no.
• 10:40
  Speaker 7: You forget about a lot of it. I forget nothing.
• 10:44
  Speaker 9: That's the point, though, right, because it's like, we don't
• 10:46
  Speaker 9: realize how much we do hurt our women do. Though, Yeah,
• 10:51
  Speaker 9: I think so. I don't think we realize how deep that.
• 10:54
  Speaker 5: That sounds like an okie doke to me.
• 10:56
  Speaker 9: No, I don't think we Until you actually sit down
• 10:58
  Speaker 9: and have those you know, comfortable conversations, you don't realize
• 11:01
  Speaker 9: how much you.
• 11:03
  Speaker 7: Your wife cheated on you and told you that she
• 11:07
  Speaker 7: would have no idea how much that instood to hurt you.
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: Would that makes sense to you?
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: Probably not? But I mean men don't make sense.
• 11:16
  Speaker 7: You believe that you believe that you're born inherently with
• 11:20
  Speaker 7: like a deficit.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: Not a deficit.
• 11:21
  Speaker 9: But I just don't think I don't think we I
• 11:23
  Speaker 9: don't think we're thinking about it, you know what I mean,
• 11:25
  Speaker 9: Like we.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: Like that's the sad part.
• 11:27
  Speaker 6: It's selfish and that's what keeps that's what.
• 11:28
  Speaker 9: Keeps you from doing it in the future, you know
• 11:30
  Speaker 9: what I mean, because you do not want to hurt
• 11:32
  Speaker 9: the woman that you love. And it's so crazy because
• 11:34
  Speaker 9: I saw that with my pops, Like I saw the
• 11:36
  Speaker 9: pain that that caused my mom with his infidelity, So
• 11:39
  Speaker 9: in my mind, I was like, damn, I'm about to
• 11:41
  Speaker 9: make the same mistake. So I think it is difficult
• 11:43
  Speaker 9: when you got to relive it because you don't want
• 11:45
  Speaker 9: to talk about it because we don't want to trigger you.
• 11:48
  Speaker 7: You know, some people I don't get triggered, though, Damn.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: That scared me just now.
• 12:02
  Speaker 7: No, Once I got to a point, and it was
• 12:04
  Speaker 7: a process, it was a long process, it was years.
• 12:08
  Speaker 7: But once I got to a point where I accepted
• 12:12
  Speaker 7: that it was my job to move on because I
• 12:16
  Speaker 7: decided to forgive him, and because he had done all
• 12:22
  Speaker 7: of the work and then some to regain my trust
• 12:26
  Speaker 7: to earn grace from me.
• 12:29
  Speaker 5: I got to a point where I no longer wanted
• 12:31
  Speaker 5: to punish.
• 12:32
  Speaker 7: And I didn't have that inherent need to see him suffer.
• 12:37
  Speaker 7: Because when you hurt, and you say it all the time,
• 12:39
  Speaker 7: hurt people, hurt people. When you're hurt, you want not
• 12:42
  Speaker 7: just people, you want the person that hurt you to hurt.
• 12:46
  Speaker 7: And anytime that I felt any type of way, I
• 12:49
  Speaker 7: made sure that he felt some type of way. So
• 12:52
  Speaker 7: once I learned how to forgive, and that was a
• 12:54
  Speaker 7: process because I wasn't necessarily a forgiving person before. Everything
• 12:58
  Speaker 7: was very black and white to me, not very much.
• 13:00
  Speaker 7: But once I learned and I understood that that's what
• 13:05
  Speaker 7: was expected from me of God, I had to commit
• 13:09
  Speaker 7: to that and do my best to live up to
• 13:12
  Speaker 7: what forgiveness meant.
• 13:13
  Speaker 5: And that's what set me free.
• 13:15
  Speaker 7: Because when you forgive, you don't forgive to ease the
• 13:18
  Speaker 7: burden from the other person. You forgive to ease the
• 13:20
  Speaker 7: burden from you.
• 13:22
  Speaker 4: What was the work you guys did together, like you
• 13:24
  Speaker 4: had to work on forgiveness and when you said, Okay,
• 13:27
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna, you know, have to move on from this.
• 13:31
  Speaker 4: But what was the work that he did that let
• 13:33
  Speaker 4: you know, Okay, he's serious and you know I can
• 13:37
  Speaker 4: finally just say I'm not getting triggered anymore.
• 13:40
  Speaker 6: I'm going to let this go.
• 13:42
  Speaker 5: Well.
• 13:43
  Speaker 7: One of the first things was I realized that he
• 13:46
  Speaker 7: understood the impact of what had happened. What he did,
• 13:52
  Speaker 7: he understood it. He didn't just accept it and it
• 13:56
  Speaker 7: was accountable for it, but he actually understood. He would
• 14:00
  Speaker 7: do things that a lot of men wouldn't do. He
• 14:03
  Speaker 7: would sit there through those eight hour conversations locked in
• 14:06
  Speaker 7: a room.
• 14:07
  Speaker 5: He answered every.
• 14:08
  Speaker 7: Question that I had, and I had a lot of questions,
• 14:12
  Speaker 7: and he answered them all truthfully. And you know when
• 14:16
  Speaker 7: you ask somebody a question and you can tell by
• 14:18
  Speaker 7: their answer, because I mean, the answers weren't pretty, they
• 14:22
  Speaker 7: weren't things that I would have wanted to hear. He
• 14:25
  Speaker 7: went through all of the sufferation, as I call it,
• 14:28
  Speaker 7: and he did it until because a lot of guys
• 14:32
  Speaker 7: when they mess up, and I mean a lot of
• 14:34
  Speaker 7: them have told me. I have friends and that have
• 14:37
  Speaker 7: gone through it. It's like, listen, I did it.
• 14:39
  Speaker 5: I apologize. I said I was never going to do
• 14:41
  Speaker 5: it again.
• 14:42
  Speaker 7: I mean that ish right, But it's like every day
• 14:46
  Speaker 7: I'm being punished, I'm being punished, I'm being reminded. It's like,
• 14:48
  Speaker 7: let it go, I apologize, Like what more do you
• 14:50
  Speaker 7: want from me blood. He never took that approach with me.
• 14:54
  Speaker 7: It was the until until you are good, until you
• 14:59
  Speaker 7: are healed. If I have to be a punching bag,
• 15:01
  Speaker 7: I will be that. If I have to be a doormat,
• 15:03
  Speaker 7: I will be that. I will do anything that it
• 15:05
  Speaker 7: makes to survive this because I cannot be without you.
• 15:09
  Speaker 7: And he proved it every single day. It was as
• 15:13
  Speaker 7: though and he was like this before.
• 15:14
  Speaker 5: But it was even more so during this time.
• 15:16
  Speaker 7: It was as though he communicated to me that the
• 15:20
  Speaker 7: only thing that he wanted was to.
• 15:22
  Speaker 5: Make me happy.
• 15:23
  Speaker 7: And that's pretty much how he lives his life. He
• 15:25
  Speaker 7: lives his life every day waking up thinking like, damn,
• 15:28
  Speaker 7: how can I make Gea his life easier today? How
• 15:30
  Speaker 7: can I make gee A happier today? And every day
• 15:33
  Speaker 7: almost he does something sweet, something special.
• 15:36
  Speaker 5: He works so hard.
• 15:37
  Speaker 7: You guys know, he might sleep three hours a night,
• 15:42
  Speaker 7: but he'll come home and if I have a tray
• 15:44
  Speaker 7: on the bed and I was eating, he'll come into
• 15:45
  Speaker 7: the room and take it down for me, or be like, Babe,
• 15:48
  Speaker 7: can I bring you up some food if.
• 15:49
  Speaker 5: I wasn't eating, Like he does special things.
• 15:52
  Speaker 7: But to answer your question, it was the until it
• 15:55
  Speaker 7: was the indefinite, and it was the willingness to do
• 15:57
  Speaker 7: any and everything to earn what he lovet.
• 16:00
  Speaker 6: And was there ever a question in your mind?
• 16:02
  Speaker 4: I know there was a point when you thought, no
• 16:05
  Speaker 4: matter what I do, she's never gonna take me back.
• 16:07
  Speaker 6: There ever a time when you were likery.
• 16:09
  Speaker 9: I'm gonna come over there, hug you and just letting
• 16:10
  Speaker 9: you know, like you better hold them tears. I'm hung
• 16:12
  Speaker 9: the ship out of you from the back if you
• 16:14
  Speaker 9: cried in front of your wife.
• 16:16
  Speaker 7: But ye, I didn't catch that little feel.
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: At that point.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: I just, you know, I didn't know what was gonna happen,
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: but I was like, I have to be honest to
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: at least get my friend back, you know. And at
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: that point, I I, you know, I didn't know what
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: kid was gonna do. I thought it was a rap.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: But I was like, I still wanted my friend. I
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: still wanted somebody I can talk to, you know, I
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: still wanted a relationship whether her that we can bounce
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: like this. She's all I knew since I was sixteen,
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: So I still wanted my friend back.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: ANSWER's jamaking. That could have been forever.
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: Beef, But you know it's interesting that you didn't kick
• 16:49
  Speaker 4: him out of the house, You were still polite to him,
• 16:51
  Speaker 4: you still wanted to maintain a co parenting friendship. I
• 16:55
  Speaker 4: feel like that hurts more when you're like, we're not
• 16:58
  Speaker 4: having sex and I might end up with somebody else
• 17:01
  Speaker 4: one day, but you know we're cool. That hurt's more,
• 17:05
  Speaker 4: I think sometimes and just completely like being nasty to
• 17:08
  Speaker 4: somebody and cutting them off.
• 17:09
  Speaker 7: Yes, Well, when I found out divorce was imminent, it
• 17:14
  Speaker 7: was never a question. I was raised by a very
• 17:18
  Speaker 7: strong mother who taught me that if a man ever
• 17:22
  Speaker 7: disrespects you to that degree, then you walk. So it
• 17:27
  Speaker 7: didn't matter how much I loved for Sean and how
• 17:29
  Speaker 7: much I would have missed him, and it didn't matter.
• 17:32
  Speaker 5: If I cried every night.
• 17:33
  Speaker 7: It did not matter one iota how I felt. The
• 17:37
  Speaker 7: only thing that was important to me was that I
• 17:40
  Speaker 7: operated with my head and not my heart, and that
• 17:43
  Speaker 7: I did what I always said that I was going
• 17:45
  Speaker 7: to do. So when I found out, when it was
• 17:48
  Speaker 7: confirmed for me, and you can read the book and
• 17:51
  Speaker 7: see the.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: Entire no we want you to go get there, the
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: entire story.
• 17:55
  Speaker 7: But when he confirmed it, we were in a parking lot,
• 17:58
  Speaker 7: and when I drove away from that parking lot. It
• 18:01
  Speaker 7: was a few days before Christmas, and his mother was
• 18:04
  Speaker 7: at the house helping me decorate because we were hosting
• 18:06
  Speaker 7: that year. But I walked into the house and I
• 18:08
  Speaker 7: told her, I said, Christmas is canceled. And she said, oh,
• 18:13
  Speaker 7: Christmas is canceled. And I said, well, I just found
• 18:16
  Speaker 7: out that Rashon cheated on me and we're getting a divorce,
• 18:20
  Speaker 7: so there's not gonna be any Christmas this year, at
• 18:22
  Speaker 7: least I'm not hosting.
• 18:23
  Speaker 9: You know, it's wild that people actually canceled Christmas. I
• 18:25
  Speaker 9: thought that was just a figure of speech. No, no,
• 18:28
  Speaker 9: if this should happened, we canceling Christmas, canceled Christmas?
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, cancel Christmas.
• 18:33
  Speaker 5: Well, in the sense of us hosting.
• 18:35
  Speaker 7: I wasn't going to cancel it for our children, but
• 18:37
  Speaker 7: you know, we didn't have to decorate for thirty people
• 18:39
  Speaker 7: to come over.
• 18:40
  Speaker 5: And my lovely mother in law, Hi.
• 18:44
  Speaker 7: Mama, she defended her beautiful son with everything that she
• 18:49
  Speaker 7: could because pretty much, and when she said something to
• 18:54
  Speaker 7: that effect, I said, but for the fact that he
• 18:56
  Speaker 7: just told me that it was true. And he came
• 19:00
  Speaker 7: home maybe twenty or thirty minutes later, and it was
• 19:05
  Speaker 7: a whole thing, right, But I was adamant that we
• 19:09
  Speaker 7: were getting a divorce. I contacted an attorney, paid an attorney.
• 19:13
  Speaker 5: It was decided.
• 19:17
  Speaker 7: But thankfully, there were a whole host of things that
• 19:21
  Speaker 7: happened that that convinced me that God had other plans.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: What did God say to you?
• 19:32
  Speaker 5: God didn't say anything to me.
• 19:34
  Speaker 7: See, I was raised Catholic. I went to Catholic schools
• 19:36
  Speaker 7: my whole life, so did for Sean. But I was
• 19:40
  Speaker 7: never spiritual.
• 19:41
  Speaker 5: You know.
• 19:41
  Speaker 7: I got to school and said to Hail Mary and
• 19:44
  Speaker 7: the our Father. And you know, if I prayed at night,
• 19:46
  Speaker 7: it was like, thank you God for all my blessings,
• 19:48
  Speaker 7: thank you for my life.
• 19:50
  Speaker 5: You know, Can I get that new Nintendo for Christmas?
• 19:53
  Speaker 7: You know, I wasn't raised with this this deeply instilled
• 20:00
  Speaker 7: faith where I felt as though I knew God and
• 20:03
  Speaker 7: I lived differently because I didn't know God in that way.
• 20:10
  Speaker 7: So when God revealed himself to me, and he may
• 20:14
  Speaker 7: have tried for years, you see, but I wouldn't have
• 20:17
  Speaker 7: I didn't speak his language. I would have never been
• 20:19
  Speaker 7: able to interpret God trying to reach out to me.
• 20:22
  Speaker 7: So I really believe that this happened so that me, particularly,
• 20:26
  Speaker 7: not even Rashon, so that I could be humbled, you know,
• 20:30
  Speaker 7: because I thought so highly of our relationship. I thought
• 20:32
  Speaker 7: so highly of Rashon because he was despite what he did,
• 20:35
  Speaker 7: he was a wonderful husband, a wonderful father. I was
• 20:41
  Speaker 7: utterly blindsided when this happened, because it was no red
• 20:43
  Speaker 7: flags within our house.
• 20:45
  Speaker 5: He was thoughtful, affectionate.
• 20:46
  Speaker 7: Kind, sweet, generous, romantic, everything that you would want him
• 20:52
  Speaker 7: to be, with a little dose of crazy. And there
• 20:55
  Speaker 7: is that in the book. I'm not saying that it
• 20:57
  Speaker 7: was amazing. I was really blindsided.
• 21:02
  Speaker 5: But when God.
• 21:04
  Speaker 7: Spoke, he spoke through other people, and when he found
• 21:07
  Speaker 7: when I found out what happened. It's funny we were
• 21:10
  Speaker 7: being approached for reality shows at the.
• 21:13
  Speaker 5: Time, and.
• 21:16
  Speaker 7: When he took someone's terrible advice to apologize to me
• 21:20
  Speaker 7: on the radio and make our personal woes private.
• 21:31
  Speaker 5: Yeah, our personal woes public.
• 21:34
  Speaker 10: I didn't know though. I didn't know what he was
• 21:36
  Speaker 10: going through. He just laying on the I didn't know
• 21:40
  Speaker 10: what he'd be like out of it. I'm like, yo,
• 21:41
  Speaker 10: what the is your problem? I didn't know what it was.
• 21:44
  Speaker 10: So as I'm priding him, like what the hell is
• 21:46
  Speaker 10: going on? I didn't know that was coming.
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: Oh okay, yeah, I didn't know that.
• 21:50
  Speaker 7: When he apologized, you didn't know what He would literally
• 21:53
  Speaker 7: come in here and be like laid out on the
• 21:55
  Speaker 7: floor in the fetal position the whole show, Like he
• 21:58
  Speaker 7: would not be here with us, he wouldn't be present,
• 22:00
  Speaker 7: And I just knew something.
• 22:02
  Speaker 9: So no, I was like, when he gets on the air,
• 22:04
  Speaker 9: I'm going to ask him on the air, what is
• 22:06
  Speaker 9: his problem?
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: Because I was tired of asking him.
• 22:08
  Speaker 9: Behind the scenes, and so I asked him on the air.
• 22:10
  Speaker 9: I didn't know that was coming.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: Though.
• 22:12
  Speaker 7: It was a terrible idea, but maybe it was the
• 22:14
  Speaker 7: same dose of common sense that you guys are talking about.
• 22:17
  Speaker 6: Men men think differently.
• 22:23
  Speaker 7: Yes, But when it was made public, my one of
• 22:26
  Speaker 7: my best friends, his name is Rashid, he's the husband
• 22:28
  Speaker 7: of my other best friend, her name is Sasha. He
• 22:31
  Speaker 7: called to see if what he had heard was true
• 22:35
  Speaker 7: because he thought that maybe it was just something being
• 22:37
  Speaker 7: drummed up because we're supposed to be on a reality
• 22:40
  Speaker 7: show or something like that. And when he called, I said, no,
• 22:42
  Speaker 7: everything that you heard is absolutely true, and it's it's
• 22:50
  Speaker 7: a terrible story. As you said, you know, Rashaan was
• 22:53
  Speaker 7: circling the drain at that time, and Rashid decided to
• 22:58
  Speaker 7: come to New York from California because he lives in
• 23:03
  Speaker 7: LA But we had a very a horrible event happened
• 23:08
  Speaker 7: at our home and you can read about it in
• 23:10
  Speaker 7: the book.
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: Didn't like me, Rushi. You know, he always thought our relationship.
• 23:14
  Speaker 6: Was toxic with you, You're too controlling.
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: He thought I was too controlling, which I was at times,
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: but so he didn't like me. So the fact that
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: he flew in to try to save this relationship meant
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: a lot because he already didn't like me.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: I thought, you said, saved the relationship.
• 23:26
  Speaker 6: That's well, that's coming, was telling too much.
• 23:30
  Speaker 7: Well, well, what happened was he flew in and I
• 23:33
  Speaker 7: didn't want him there because our marriage was ending and
• 23:36
  Speaker 7: I just wanted to be by myself. But he insisted.
• 23:39
  Speaker 5: He said, I'm.
• 23:40
  Speaker 7: Pulling into I'm flying into Newark International Airport at such
• 23:44
  Speaker 7: and such a time.
• 23:45
  Speaker 5: Come get me. I went, and I got him, and.
• 23:50
  Speaker 7: That was the start of the biggest change that we
• 23:53
  Speaker 7: that we needed to go through. He came to our
• 23:55
  Speaker 7: house and I said, why are you here? And he said,
• 23:59
  Speaker 7: God said here, I said, of all people, you. You're
• 24:03
  Speaker 7: the only person in our lives that didn't champion our marriage.
• 24:07
  Speaker 7: You're the only one that ever told me that maybe
• 24:09
  Speaker 7: he's not the right person for me. Why you, he said, Gia,
• 24:14
  Speaker 7: I don't know. I've been praying since I got off
• 24:16
  Speaker 7: the phone with you. After that terrible thing happened, and
• 24:19
  Speaker 7: I walked into my boss's office, told him I had
• 24:21
  Speaker 7: to take a leave of absence, went home, packed a bag,
• 24:24
  Speaker 7: and got on a plane and headed here. And it's
• 24:26
  Speaker 7: only through the assignment of God. God spoke to me.
• 24:29
  Speaker 7: I said, so, what does that mean? Like, are you
• 24:32
  Speaker 7: hearing voices? Like, what do you mean God spoke to you?
• 24:36
  Speaker 7: And he said to me, when God speaks to you,
• 24:38
  Speaker 7: it says though he puts an overwhelming feeling on your heart,
• 24:41
  Speaker 7: and when he tells you to do something, you don't
• 24:43
  Speaker 7: ask any questions.
• 24:44
  Speaker 5: You just do it.
• 24:46
  Speaker 7: I said, okay, well, basically I have to wrap my
• 24:49
  Speaker 7: mind around that because I didn't have the tools to
• 24:52
  Speaker 7: really understand that. And he stayed with us for about
• 24:57
  Speaker 7: maybe ten twelve days, and he taught us a lot
• 25:01
  Speaker 7: about God and faith and spirituality and what his assignment was.
• 25:06
  Speaker 5: And he brought in his past or, her name was
• 25:08
  Speaker 5: Sister Nancy.
• 25:09
  Speaker 7: She had the same feedback from God when she prayed,
• 25:12
  Speaker 7: and this was all new to me, and I was
• 25:14
  Speaker 7: actually very angry because now I have people in my
• 25:17
  Speaker 7: life that I respect and love that are telling me
• 25:19
  Speaker 7: that I have to stay in a relationship that I'm
• 25:21
  Speaker 7: adamant on getting out of. And it was very, very heavy.
• 25:26
  Speaker 7: I can't describe to you how heavy it was and
• 25:28
  Speaker 7: how insistent he was in his assurance of what God
• 25:32
  Speaker 7: communicated to him.
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: In the fast forward, Tyree's same thing. I didn't know.
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: You know, we knew Tyree's coming up here doing an interview,
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: but I didn't know Tyres had to have his number,
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: you know, he didn't have a new song. But when
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: he heard me on the radio that day, he called
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: and wanted to speak to Gea. And you can read
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: in the book because he got us together.
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: But he said the exact.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: Same thing like Tyreesa Rashi was speaking to each other
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: and it was kind of like those two were the
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: ones to.
• 25:58
  Speaker 4: Really marriage and they didn't know, he said, and yeah,
• 26:01
  Speaker 4: you had asked for a sign.
• 26:02
  Speaker 7: Well that was the thing, because I was so angered
• 26:05
  Speaker 7: by what I was hearing, Like, oh, I was a
• 26:07
  Speaker 7: victim being cheated on, now being victimized again by God
• 26:11
  Speaker 7: telling me that I have to stay in a relationship
• 26:13
  Speaker 7: that I'm adamant about leaving. I don't understand this, and
• 26:16
  Speaker 7: I was and I'm not a big crier, but one
• 26:19
  Speaker 7: day I was taking a shower and I began to cry,
• 26:22
  Speaker 7: and I began to pray in the way that I
• 26:24
  Speaker 7: was learning how to pray, and I asked God for
• 26:27
  Speaker 7: a sign that I can interpret for myself, so at
• 26:30
  Speaker 7: least it would feel as though I was making my
• 26:31
  Speaker 7: own decision, and a decision wasn't being made for me,
• 26:35
  Speaker 7: so I damn near begged for a sign. And then
• 26:38
  Speaker 7: shortly after Tyrese called Rashaan and asked for him to
• 26:43
  Speaker 7: set something up and we went to Philippe Chow's. He
• 26:46
  Speaker 7: came in with a backup singer and a guitarist. He
• 26:49
  Speaker 7: performed Stay just for Rashaan and I. Then he sat
• 26:52
  Speaker 7: down for about four hours and we had a conversation
• 26:55
  Speaker 7: and he tried to explain to me how a man
• 26:58
  Speaker 7: can love you and still cheat at the same time,
• 27:01
  Speaker 7: because I didn't really understand that. But at the end
• 27:03
  Speaker 7: of the conversation I asked him, I said, you know.
• 27:05
  Speaker 5: Why are you here? Didn't You don't even know if
• 27:08
  Speaker 5: I'm a good person.
• 27:09
  Speaker 7: You don't know if this relationship is even worth salvaging.
• 27:13
  Speaker 5: Why would you do that?
• 27:14
  Speaker 7: You didn't know, Rashan, you have no dog in this fight.
• 27:16
  Speaker 7: You have nothing to gain or lose. You're supposed to
• 27:18
  Speaker 7: be at a wedding somewhere else. You changed your flights
• 27:21
  Speaker 7: to be here.
• 27:23
  Speaker 5: Why?
• 27:24
  Speaker 7: He said, God sent me here to do this. I said,
• 27:28
  Speaker 7: what do you mean, God sent you here to do this?
• 27:31
  Speaker 7: He said, God sent me? I said, are you hearing voices?
• 27:35
  Speaker 5: He said no, and then.
• 27:36
  Speaker 7: He reiterated verbatim exactly what Rashid said to me in
• 27:41
  Speaker 7: my kitchen that day. And I had to ask Russian Tyreesa.
• 27:45
  Speaker 7: I said, is that like in the Bible? Is that
• 27:46
  Speaker 7: what you just said? Is that like a thing that
• 27:49
  Speaker 7: people know? And he said no, I'm just telling you
• 27:51
  Speaker 7: how I feel.
• 27:52
  Speaker 5: Like, what do you mean?
• 27:53
  Speaker 7: And at that moment, I just like threw my hands
• 27:55
  Speaker 7: up and I said, like, okay, looked at Rashaan and
• 28:00
  Speaker 7: I said, I forgive you. I don't know what that means.
• 28:05
  Speaker 7: I will work on this with you. I don't know
• 28:07
  Speaker 7: how long that will take. I will do what I'm
• 28:10
  Speaker 7: now believing is required of me. But we're going to
• 28:14
  Speaker 7: be in for a ride because I'm not really there.
• 28:17
  Speaker 7: But I can commit to you in this moment because
• 28:20
  Speaker 7: there is not that much coincidence in the world for
• 28:23
  Speaker 7: what just happened.
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: Yes, I'm sorry. I'm sorry to my wife too. I
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: just feel like conversation apologize.
• 28:33
  Speaker 4: I'm that your mom was so strong and you knew,
• 28:39
  Speaker 4: you know, initially what you had to do, and your
• 28:41
  Speaker 4: families were so intertwined. So during this time, was she
• 28:45
  Speaker 4: supportive and wanting y'all to get back together or was
• 28:47
  Speaker 4: she like, Kia, you gotta go.
• 28:51
  Speaker 5: It's funny.
• 28:52
  Speaker 7: Rashawan and I have a podcast called The Casey Crew,
• 28:55
  Speaker 7: and I did an all girls podcast as a book
• 28:57
  Speaker 7: review last week, and I shared something during that podcast
• 29:02
  Speaker 7: that I don't know if I've even ever told Rashaan.
• 29:05
  Speaker 7: It's a very very private and personal thought, but I'll
• 29:09
  Speaker 7: share it now since you're asking.
• 29:11
  Speaker 5: My mother passed.
• 29:13
  Speaker 7: Away in May, and she suffered from dementia for about
• 29:18
  Speaker 7: maybe fourteen years, so when this all happened, she had dementia.
• 29:26
  Speaker 7: If my mother didn't have dementia, Rashawn and I wouldn't
• 29:30
  Speaker 7: be married. Today, because there would have been no way, God,
• 29:37
  Speaker 7: no God, that I could have gone to my mother
• 29:42
  Speaker 7: and told her what happened and told her that I
• 29:45
  Speaker 7: was staying. It couldn't have it could not have happened.
• 29:49
  Speaker 7: It would not have happened. God literally would have had
• 29:51
  Speaker 7: to have appeared in front of me and my mother
• 29:54
  Speaker 7: and convinced both of us.
• 29:56
  Speaker 5: Because I wasn't raised that way.
• 29:59
  Speaker 7: So what's personal about this is to me is that
• 30:04
  Speaker 7: I believe that whatever Rashana and I have to accomplish,
• 30:08
  Speaker 7: either through our marriage or through our children, is so
• 30:13
  Speaker 7: great that I think my mother was a casualty of that.
• 30:18
  Speaker 7: I think that God took my mother's sensibilities away from
• 30:23
  Speaker 7: her so that I wouldn't be in a position where
• 30:26
  Speaker 7: I had to make that decision. I just think that
• 30:29
  Speaker 7: what we have to accomplish is so great. And maybe
• 30:32
  Speaker 7: one of those things is this book, because I think
• 30:35
  Speaker 7: that our book will help a multitude of couples, and
• 30:40
  Speaker 7: I think that there are things in there that can
• 30:43
  Speaker 7: be life changing for people.
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, go get the book, Real Life, Real Love.
• 30:47
  Speaker 9: But let's I want to talk about something positive, because
• 30:49
  Speaker 9: you know, you said something women have intuition. You said
• 30:53
  Speaker 9: you had no, Cluto right, No, But how do you
• 30:57
  Speaker 9: know when he's right? Because I think that's something we
• 31:00
  Speaker 9: don't talk about enough. I think women know when their
• 31:02
  Speaker 9: man is no longer really out there in the streets,
• 31:05
  Speaker 9: when he's actually changed. And how did you know he
• 31:06
  Speaker 9: had actually changed?
• 31:09
  Speaker 5: That's a good question.
• 31:13
  Speaker 7: I didn't because there was no aside from his over
• 31:18
  Speaker 7: commitment to me. After the fact, there was no change.
• 31:23
  Speaker 7: He was wonderful. Then I had faith in God and
• 31:30
  Speaker 7: a lot of people. I'll phrase the question a little
• 31:32
  Speaker 7: bit differently the way that people ask me, how do
• 31:34
  Speaker 7: you know that he'll never cheat again? And I tell
• 31:37
  Speaker 7: them because once Rashi Rashid started something, we carried that torch.
• 31:43
  Speaker 7: Now we're very spiritual together. We pray together every morning
• 31:47
  Speaker 7: before he leaves to come here.
• 31:49
  Speaker 5: And.
• 31:52
  Speaker 7: We have an individual relationship with God, each of us.
• 31:55
  Speaker 7: So if he cheats, he doesn't have to worry about me.
• 31:59
  Speaker 7: He has to worry about God. He has bigger fish
• 32:02
  Speaker 7: to fry than me. So when people ask me, you know,
• 32:05
  Speaker 7: what's the best relationship advice that you can give me
• 32:07
  Speaker 7: for my marriage, and it honestly is to keep God
• 32:11
  Speaker 7: at the pinnacle of your marriage.
• 32:14
  Speaker 5: Be honor Him, keep your faith in him.
• 32:19
  Speaker 7: Be a child of him, because when you do that,
• 32:22
  Speaker 7: that is what's going to guide you to be a
• 32:24
  Speaker 7: good person, to be honest, to be committed and faithful.
• 32:29
  Speaker 7: It's to him. Don't be loyal to another human. Be
• 32:32
  Speaker 7: led by goodness, because in that goodness you will do
• 32:36
  Speaker 7: right by your spouse. And that's how I feel, And
• 32:41
  Speaker 7: that's how I knew.
• 32:42
  Speaker 5: That's how I knew.
• 32:43
  Speaker 4: And be let me ask you, because you know, for women,
• 32:45
  Speaker 4: we always are like and like you said, Tyrese was
• 32:47
  Speaker 4: having a conversation how a man can't cheat on you
• 32:49
  Speaker 4: but still love you. Yeah, but why, like you know,
• 32:54
  Speaker 4: that's something that for women we always want to know.
• 32:56
  Speaker 4: And I'm sure you had so many conversations.
• 33:00
  Speaker 5: I still don't like his answer.
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: I don't necessarily agree with what tyre said.
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: I really feel that until you know the definition of
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: what love really means. I think a lot of times
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: people just say I love you, and it's oh, I
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: love you. But until you understand the definition of what
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: love means, then you realize I don't if I love
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: somebody like I say, you don't want to hurt them,
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: You don't want to cheat on them, you don't want
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: to disrespect them. You don't want to have them looking
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: crazy because you love that person. And I don't think
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: I knew the definition of love. But when I figured
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: that definition of what love is and what gia meant
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: to me, you know, you realize I don't want to
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: hurt her. I don't want to see her cry, I
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: don't want to see her feel away. I don't want
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: to disrespect her. I don't want to be controlling. I
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: don't want to be any of those things. And when
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: you realize what that definition is, your outlook of life changes.
• 33:43
  Speaker 9: I agree with him, and I'll add on I've explored
• 33:45
  Speaker 9: this in therapy. When you say you can cheat and
• 33:49
  Speaker 9: still love a person, you might, but you don't really
• 33:51
  Speaker 9: love yourself. I think a lot of times, not a
• 33:54
  Speaker 9: lot of times. All the time, men cheat for ego.
• 33:57
  Speaker 9: Like that said, it's wounded ego. It's something that where
• 33:59
  Speaker 9: alas it has nothing to do with all wives, nothing
• 34:01
  Speaker 9: to do with our girlfriends. It's something that we feel
• 34:04
  Speaker 9: like we're lacking for whatever reason, and that's what we
• 34:07
  Speaker 9: go and do.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: It's literally just to feed all ego.
• 34:10
  Speaker 4: Do you think women cheat for the same reason as
• 34:12
  Speaker 4: men or you thinks different? Like when women cheat, you
• 34:15
  Speaker 4: think they cheat for different reasons.
• 34:17
  Speaker 7: I think women also cheat for ego. Who doesn't like
• 34:21
  Speaker 7: to have the attention of the opposite sex, you know,
• 34:26
  Speaker 7: especially when you are at a deficit and you do
• 34:29
  Speaker 7: have holes and you need those holes filled and most
• 34:32
  Speaker 7: people have slight holes, you know, not that you're out
• 34:35
  Speaker 7: there thirsty for the attention of the opposite sex, but
• 34:39
  Speaker 7: even if it's of the same sex, when someone pays
• 34:41
  Speaker 7: you a compliment, like it's nice to be wanted, is
• 34:44
  Speaker 7: essentially what I'm saying. So for women, yeah, I mean
• 34:48
  Speaker 7: I think that if you're with someone and you cheat,
• 34:52
  Speaker 7: I think a big part of it is ego. But
• 34:54
  Speaker 7: then you know, you'll have people that say that they
• 34:55
  Speaker 7: cheat because the person at home isn't doing what they're
• 34:58
  Speaker 7: supposed to do, you know. And we have a son, Logan.
• 35:01
  Speaker 7: He's eighteen, so he's starting to date seriously and whatnot now.
• 35:05
  Speaker 7: And I had a conversation with him the other day
• 35:07
  Speaker 7: and I said, listen, I said, listen, if you commit
• 35:13
  Speaker 7: to a girl and you make her your girlfriend, one
• 35:16
  Speaker 7: thing I do not want you to.
• 35:18
  Speaker 5: Do is cheat.
• 35:19
  Speaker 7: Do not come to me and tell me that you
• 35:21
  Speaker 7: guys broke up because you cheated on her. Because I've
• 35:23
  Speaker 7: raised you better than that. If you decide that you
• 35:26
  Speaker 7: want something else or she's not satisfying whatever needs you have,
• 35:31
  Speaker 7: break up with her and move on to the next.
• 35:33
  Speaker 7: And if within a week you feel the same way
• 35:35
  Speaker 7: about that girl, break up with her and move on
• 35:37
  Speaker 7: to the next. Do not cheat because you're sacrificing your
• 35:40
  Speaker 7: own integrity when you do that, And that's pretty much
• 35:44
  Speaker 7: a sign of really not loving yourself. When you love yourself,
• 35:47
  Speaker 7: you want to be self actualized. You want to be
• 35:50
  Speaker 7: your best self. You want to reach your highest potential.
• 35:52
  Speaker 7: You want to be a kind, a good person, and
• 35:55
  Speaker 7: you owe that to yourself. You don't necessarily owe it
• 35:57
  Speaker 7: to the other person. You owe it to yourself to
• 35:59
  Speaker 7: do those things. And that's what I'm trying to instill
• 36:01
  Speaker 7: in him as my oldest male child.
• 36:04
  Speaker 5: You know, Logan going to.
• 36:05
  Speaker 9: Be breaking up with a lot of girls unless you
• 36:10
  Speaker 9: find that one like y'all did early.
• 36:12
  Speaker 6: He will be bringing up with now during this time.
• 36:15
  Speaker 6: Did anybody get in your d MS. I'm just curious.
• 36:19
  Speaker 5: When the cheating happened.
• 36:20
  Speaker 6: Yeah, Like you know, I wasn't. People were thinking maybe
• 36:23
  Speaker 6: it's you know, it might be back on the market.
• 36:25
  Speaker 7: I wasn't on Instagram at the time. I didn't even
• 36:28
  Speaker 7: know how to operate Instagram. I've never been on Facebook.
• 36:31
  Speaker 7: I've never been on Twitter.
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: So he has no social media. She has no Twitter,
• 36:35
  Speaker 3: no Facebook.
• 36:36
  Speaker 7: Well now I have Instagram, but at the time, which
• 36:39
  Speaker 7: is probably why he was able to accomplish what he
• 36:42
  Speaker 7: accomplished in all of his Deceit.
• 36:47
  Speaker 5: Funny.
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: The book is more about cheating guys.
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: Can we get.
• 36:52
  Speaker 9: Very triggering conversation? No, it really is, because I've heard
• 36:56
  Speaker 9: all of this before.
• 36:57
  Speaker 5: Oh have you really?
• 36:58
  Speaker 7: Yeah? Yeah, it's like it's not this, it's talk about it,
• 37:06
  Speaker 7: but your it is about a lot more than that.
• 37:07
  Speaker 4: And we got to see, like early on things that
• 37:09
  Speaker 4: you guys had to work on within yourselves, you know,
• 37:12
  Speaker 4: for you and b when did you get over being
• 37:15
  Speaker 4: so possessive and because there's one thing about being protective,
• 37:20
  Speaker 4: but then it crosses the line when it's overly done
• 37:24
  Speaker 4: and it feels like you were very jealous and possessive
• 37:27
  Speaker 4: and insecure. How did you manage to cope with and
• 37:31
  Speaker 4: overcome that?
• 37:32
  Speaker 3: Well, it happened.
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: Because I mean I was I was DJ Shrimp at
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: first when I was five foot four, had glasses, had braces,
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: and had acne.
• 37:39
  Speaker 3: I wasn't running around, you know.
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: Here's what I said is but like my mom would say,
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: I wasn't to catch me out like nobody was. I
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: wasn't hoiling at nobody. Nobody was hollering at me. That's
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: what mom would say.
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: She was doing charity gear.
• 37:51
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 37:56
  Speaker 7: I thought that he was very cute and like I
• 37:58
  Speaker 7: said earlier, charismatic was like a fixed.
• 38:00
  Speaker 9: Oh my goodness, he was your first renovation.
• 38:07
  Speaker 7: That's what.
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: We got to take.
• 38:16
  Speaker 3: So, you know, I was I was very insecure.
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: So when she would go out, I would always think, damn,
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: she gonna find somebody that smarter, that looks better, that
• 38:22
  Speaker 2: does this, that does that.
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: So I was.
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: Always in skills. So I never wanted her to go out.
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: If she did go out, I never wanted her to
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: wear anything sexy. I kind of wanted to control it.
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: So I was always fearful that she would find somebody else.
• 38:34
  Speaker 3: And I think what changed me.
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: I think she did, you know, basically say that you
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: know I was worthy that you know, she wasn't gonna
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: leave me for somebody else.
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: And it was just conversation.
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: Was it was my own insecurity that was affecting hurt
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: in our relationship.
• 38:48
  Speaker 9: As you got older, you think it was guilty conscience
• 38:51
  Speaker 9: because you knew what you was doing, and you might
• 38:55
  Speaker 9: have been projecting on her things.
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: She might have been doing the same thing.
• 38:58
  Speaker 7: No, he had been like that since the very very beginning.
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: It was you know, it was it was insecurity, and
• 39:03
  Speaker 3: then you got to think she was beautiful. So she
• 39:05
  Speaker 3: had all these.
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: Different celebs and all these different people hollering at her.
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: So you know, she would come back and tell me, like,
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: you know, one time, I don't know if we put
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: this in the book, but somebody.
• 39:14
  Speaker 3: Gave you a watch, right, I'm like, yes, gave a
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: bot a watch at the mall and gave it to him.
• 39:20
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, I'm like, while I was shopping, he
• 39:22
  Speaker 5: liked me.
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: I did what any guy would do. I put it
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: under the truck, rand it over seven times.
• 39:27
  Speaker 7: Yeah, he sure did. I couldn't even give it to
• 39:29
  Speaker 7: his mother or my mother, Like I understood that he
• 39:31
  Speaker 7: didn't want me to wear it, and the person didn't
• 39:33
  Speaker 7: give it to me directly. I was shopping and I
• 39:36
  Speaker 7: was looking at Mavado watches at the time, and he
• 39:39
  Speaker 7: hallowed and I turned him down. Then when I left,
• 39:42
  Speaker 7: he went and asked a salesperson what was she looking at?
• 39:44
  Speaker 5: What was she interested in?
• 39:45
  Speaker 7: And he bought me an esperanza levado esperanza.
• 39:49
  Speaker 5: This year we were there's a little bit oldero.
• 39:51
  Speaker 7: He was clearly like in the twenty or or something
• 39:53
  Speaker 7: in college. Yeah, and he took the box and the
• 39:56
  Speaker 7: bag and wrote a note and put it on my car.
• 39:59
  Speaker 7: So he had seen obviously he had seen me, you know,
• 40:02
  Speaker 7: come from the parking lot and then yeah, so so
• 40:09
  Speaker 7: I didn't. I wouldn't have accepted it from him if
• 40:10
  Speaker 7: he tried to give it to me.
• 40:12
  Speaker 5: It was on my car, so.
• 40:13
  Speaker 7: I brought it home. I was like, oh my god,
• 40:14
  Speaker 7: guess what happened? Like I told the story, Rashaan was
• 40:17
  Speaker 7: irate and literally put it behind his back wheel and
• 40:20
  Speaker 7: ran it over and then put the car and drive
• 40:22
  Speaker 7: ran it over again.
• 40:23
  Speaker 5: Back in her verse.
• 40:27
  Speaker 7: Donated that watch, was like, we could have given it
• 40:29
  Speaker 7: to somebody, and every gifted.
• 40:33
  Speaker 6: That watch.
• 40:36
  Speaker 4: Yes, Like there was also an instance where he caught
• 40:39
  Speaker 4: you in the club grinding on somebody. My gosh, this
• 40:46
  Speaker 4: is funny to me because Vy is like, you know,
• 40:48
  Speaker 4: he acts really different here than.
• 40:52
  Speaker 6: I would not.
• 40:53
  Speaker 7: You don't get any doses of his crazy though.
• 40:55
  Speaker 6: What Well, but you know what it is. Emmy is petty.
• 41:01
  Speaker 6: Mvy is petty.
• 41:02
  Speaker 7: He's petty, but I don't cross him.
• 41:05
  Speaker 6: Like certain things that he does. I'm like Amvy was
• 41:08
  Speaker 6: out of his mind.
• 41:11
  Speaker 7: Well that night we were in college and he had
• 41:14
  Speaker 7: a party at Virginia State. Now, Rashwan saw to it
• 41:19
  Speaker 7: that every single and I mean every one hundred percent
• 41:22
  Speaker 7: of the parties that he did while we were in college,
• 41:24
  Speaker 7: he made sure that I was at every single party
• 41:26
  Speaker 7: with him. I was in the DJ booth. I was
• 41:29
  Speaker 7: not allowed to leave the DJ booth. If I wanted
• 41:32
  Speaker 7: an Amaretto sour from the bar, he would send little Sean,
• 41:36
  Speaker 7: who is our friend, to the bar to get it
• 41:38
  Speaker 7: for me.
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: Story that has nothing to do with this. We're talking
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: about your book.
• 41:46
  Speaker 7: And if I tried to break out of the DJ
• 41:48
  Speaker 7: booth when he wasn't looking, then I would always have
• 41:50
  Speaker 7: two of his friends escorting me to make sure that
• 41:53
  Speaker 7: no one kicked it.
• 41:54
  Speaker 6: To me, let me out of his cage.
• 41:56
  Speaker 7: Yes, so it would be me every time we hung out,
• 41:59
  Speaker 7: wud be me and like.
• 42:00
  Speaker 5: Seven to eight dudes. I was always just like the homie.
• 42:02
  Speaker 5: I was always there.
• 42:04
  Speaker 7: And this one night he had a party at Virginia
• 42:05
  Speaker 7: State and I couldn't fit in the car because he
• 42:08
  Speaker 7: was bringing you know, his friends for security and whatnot.
• 42:10
  Speaker 7: And that night there was a party at the armory.
• 42:12
  Speaker 7: I was like, okay, I'm going to the party at
• 42:14
  Speaker 7: the armory.
• 42:14
  Speaker 5: He was like, no, you're not.
• 42:16
  Speaker 7: I was like, oh, yes, I am. Turned into a
• 42:17
  Speaker 7: big argument. I was like, all right, well, I'll just
• 42:19
  Speaker 7: tell you that I'm not and go anyway. So that's
• 42:22
  Speaker 7: what I did. He's on his way. I'm at the party.
• 42:25
  Speaker 7: I'm dancing with a dude. Little Sean is at the
• 42:30
  Speaker 7: armory too.
• 42:30
  Speaker 5: He sees him. He calls Rashaan. Rashon buses a yui.
• 42:35
  Speaker 5: Now you know how important this syst to him, because
• 42:37
  Speaker 5: there's nothing.
• 42:37
  Speaker 7: That he loves more besides than making some money. We
• 42:41
  Speaker 7: know that he forfeited that money. Made a U turn
• 42:44
  Speaker 7: came back. I'm dancing with the kid. I look up.
• 42:47
  Speaker 7: I see Rashaan charging towards me. The fear of God
• 42:51
  Speaker 7: came over me, and it was as though I felt
• 42:54
  Speaker 7: like my life flashed before me, like I felt whatever
• 42:56
  Speaker 7: that hormone is, I felt it rushed through my body.
• 42:59
  Speaker 5: And he came. He grabbed me.
• 43:00
  Speaker 7: He threw me over his shoulder, caveman style, and then
• 43:04
  Speaker 7: rushed me to like the other side of the of
• 43:07
  Speaker 7: the dance hall.
• 43:08
  Speaker 6: This is next level, like this.
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: Is the stereotypical lights skin Nigga s I don't know
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: what you're talking about. It you know.
• 43:15
  Speaker 5: What I mean? Yeah, I mean.
• 43:18
  Speaker 7: And then we had a conversation where, you know, he
• 43:22
  Speaker 7: made me very well aware how disappointed he was, how
• 43:24
  Speaker 7: hurt he was to see me.
• 43:25
  Speaker 5: I guess just thank God, right, No, how he.
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: First moved to Jersey, he moved.
• 43:38
  Speaker 9: I don't think we should tell the story because it
• 43:40
  Speaker 9: just makes you sound even more horrible.
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: Okay, I don't think you should tell this story.
• 43:45
  Speaker 5: All right, that's gonna be on the chopping block.
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: We could if you want to get it.
• 43:50
  Speaker 5: I want to know.
• 43:52
  Speaker 9: Well, I moved into an apartment complex, and the woman
• 43:54
  Speaker 9: at the apartment complex they, I think, I think you should,
• 43:57
  Speaker 9: you know, watch envy. And I said, we you mean
• 44:00
  Speaker 9: watch envy, like I think you should, you know, just
• 44:02
  Speaker 9: be be careful around envy. And I'm like, all right,
• 44:04
  Speaker 9: I'm thinking she about to tell me, you know, he's
• 44:05
  Speaker 9: a grimy, dude, think whatever she was like, because you
• 44:08
  Speaker 9: know he's got a boyfriend in this building.
• 44:11
  Speaker 7: I know what building you moved into.
• 44:13
  Speaker 9: Okay, yes, yes, so you got a boyfriend in this building.
• 44:16
  Speaker 9: He looks like you. You're like the same height. Wow,
• 44:18
  Speaker 9: and heads you have the same complexion.
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: And I'm like what she was?
• 44:22
  Speaker 9: I mean, I just I just see him come over here,
• 44:24
  Speaker 9: and then you just hear moaning, moaning, moaning.
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: Oh there was.
• 44:28
  Speaker 3: No moaning, but.
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: Visits showing, and and for for a long time they
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: thought that me and Sewan, I guess were gay lovers.
• 44:35
  Speaker 7: Oh wow, look at how rumors get started.
• 44:39
  Speaker 5: Boy moaning, were moaning.
• 44:46
  Speaker 7: A girl?
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: Oh my god.
• 44:53
  Speaker 6: Okay, whatever in the.
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: Book that you read in there, that's positive, man.
• 44:58
  Speaker 6: Listen.
• 44:59
  Speaker 4: The positive thing is a together and that sometimes, you know,
• 45:02
  Speaker 4: to get to the positivity, you got to go through
• 45:04
  Speaker 4: a lot of ugliness.
• 45:05
  Speaker 9: But that's the thing, right, I already know that it's
• 45:07
  Speaker 9: gonna be a lot of judgment, you know what I'm saying,
• 45:09
  Speaker 9: And people are like, oh, how.
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: Could you stay through that?
• 45:11
  Speaker 9: And then they're gonna try to pain an interview to
• 45:12
  Speaker 9: be some controlling, abusive person.
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: But y'all were young, like people don't factor that in.
• 45:18
  Speaker 7: Well, let's just clarify. You know, when we use the
• 45:20
  Speaker 7: word abusive, that's a heavy word, right, and abuse comes
• 45:26
  Speaker 7: in ultimate forms. I understand what you're saying, But he
• 45:28
  Speaker 7: was never physically abusive, and I've never been scared of him.
• 45:34
  Speaker 7: I just knew that his controlling nature was rooted in
• 45:38
  Speaker 7: his insecurity, and I felt as though I could show
• 45:43
  Speaker 7: him enough love that he would eventually get to a
• 45:47
  Speaker 7: point where he would feel secure and understand that he's
• 45:50
  Speaker 7: worthy of all of the love that I give him.
• 45:53
  Speaker 7: You know what I mean, because it took convincing, and
• 45:56
  Speaker 7: I literally had to convince like, I am, I'm not leaving,
• 45:59
  Speaker 7: I'm not going anywhere. I am thrilled to be with you.
• 46:02
  Speaker 7: I am happy that we're in college. I'm like, we
• 46:05
  Speaker 7: plan on getting married, starting a family, but he wouldn't
• 46:10
  Speaker 7: let go of it.
• 46:11
  Speaker 9: One of the biggest things I think that came out
• 46:13
  Speaker 9: of this was all the work that he did do
• 46:15
  Speaker 9: on himself. And he was suicideal at a point. That's
• 46:19
  Speaker 9: we know that, right. Yes, I don't think that was
• 46:22
  Speaker 9: all because of what was going on with you. I
• 46:24
  Speaker 9: think it was, like I said, it was other things
• 46:25
  Speaker 9: that he was dealing with inside of him that probably
• 46:27
  Speaker 9: got him to that point.
• 46:29
  Speaker 7: Yes, we would have to ask him, because we've never
• 46:33
  Speaker 7: had a conversation of it being about anything besides the
• 46:37
  Speaker 7: threat of losing our relationship.
• 46:40
  Speaker 3: I would say this.
• 46:41
  Speaker 2: I would say, you know, I used to look at
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: people who committed suicide as soft and sucker, like that's
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: that's what society made you think, until I got into
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: that predicament where I felt like my life, well everybody's
• 46:53
  Speaker 2: life around me would be better if I wasn't here,
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: and I couldn't shake it. And the majority of it
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: was losing my wife, losing my family, losing the thing
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: that I knew and that I loved, and I really
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: feel like I didn't want to be there, and and
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: I guess it was everything else that we said, like
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: the insecurities that made me do it, the insecurities around.
• 47:13
  Speaker 3: Me, and I just didn't know who I was as
• 47:15
  Speaker 3: a person.
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: Oh that's powerful, that's the big I will say.
• 47:18
  Speaker 2: During all of that, in all those conversations and all
• 47:23
  Speaker 2: those late night talks and with praying, you feel like
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: you realize who you are as a person. And once
• 47:29
  Speaker 2: you figure that out, you figure out who you want
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: to be who you want to who you want to
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: live like, and you don't care about anything else. You know,
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: at one time I used to care what people thought.
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: Now I don't care. As long as my wife and
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: my family's happy. Everything else is just white noise behind it.
• 47:42
  Speaker 4: Just think about how much younger you guys are as individuals,
• 47:45
  Speaker 4: and your marriage is so much stronger after everything you've
• 47:47
  Speaker 4: been through.
• 47:47
  Speaker 9: Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah, if you said something powerful
• 47:50
  Speaker 9: to because this business, this business will have you living
• 47:53
  Speaker 9: a lot because we're characters, right, So we create these
• 47:56
  Speaker 9: characters that kind of protect the Rashan and protect the
• 47:59
  Speaker 9: Lenad and we go home and we won way, but
• 48:01
  Speaker 9: then we're out in the street being another way. But
• 48:03
  Speaker 9: you can't do both. Eventually that negative is going to
• 48:06
  Speaker 9: catch up. Yeah, So that's why I think he was
• 48:09
  Speaker 9: going through, like not only just the threat of losing you,
• 48:12
  Speaker 9: but just like who am I was.
• 48:13
  Speaker 5: That hard for you having this dual personality?
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: Almost absolutely, because I mean, like, nothing's better now than
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: to not care what people think. You know, I would
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: have to freedom freedom, I would have to think about
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: what I was saying or radio and how would affect me,
• 48:29
  Speaker 2: how people would look at me. I would have to
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: think about this or I think about that instead of
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: just being free and say, hey, it is what it is.
• 48:35
  Speaker 2: Take it how you like it. If you like me,
• 48:36
  Speaker 2: you like me. If you love me, you love me.
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: If you hate me, you hate me.
• 48:38
  Speaker 3: And once I got to that place, life became a
• 48:42
  Speaker 3: whole lot better.
• 48:44
  Speaker 7: So to his question, was there anything aside the law,
• 48:50
  Speaker 7: the threat of the loss of the relationship that made
• 48:53
  Speaker 7: you feel as though that was why.
• 48:55
  Speaker 5: You were occupying that mental space, I think it was
• 48:58
  Speaker 5: a little bit of everything.
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: I think it was the insecurities of not being free.
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: I think it was the fact that I was losing
• 49:03
  Speaker 2: my best friend. I think it was the fact that
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: I feel like I disappointed my best friend, disappointed my family,
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: disappointed my kids.
• 49:10
  Speaker 3: So I think I had a lot to.
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: Do with all of that.
• 49:13
  Speaker 9: And I think wearing that mask too, because I think
• 49:14
  Speaker 9: a lot of times what we really want to kill
• 49:16
  Speaker 9: is is our ego. We don't necessarily necessarily know how
• 49:19
  Speaker 9: to do that. If we didn't weren't doing well, I
• 49:21
  Speaker 9: wasn't doing the work then, because when I started going
• 49:23
  Speaker 9: to therapy and everything else, that I learned how to
• 49:25
  Speaker 9: kill the ego. Before you learn how to kill the ego.
• 49:27
  Speaker 9: Only thing you think is like he said, I don't
• 49:29
  Speaker 9: I don't need to be here.
• 49:30
  Speaker 5: But you said that you wanted to kill the ego.
• 49:32
  Speaker 7: Did you actually want to before you went to therapy
• 49:34
  Speaker 7: and realized that you should kill the ego, you enjoyed
• 49:37
  Speaker 7: the ego.
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't know what it was.
• 49:38
  Speaker 9: Yeah, I didn't even know that's what I was projecting.
• 49:41
  Speaker 9: I didn't even know that's what I was leading with
• 49:43
  Speaker 9: was ego. I didn't even know that till I sat
• 49:44
  Speaker 9: down with like, oh, okay, I get it now.
• 49:47
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 49:48
  Speaker 7: When everything happened and came to the surface, it was
• 49:54
  Speaker 7: like a ton of bricks fell out of the sky
• 49:56
  Speaker 7: and hit me on the head. It was like, wow,
• 49:59
  Speaker 7: he really is damn near two people, Like he's Rashawn,
• 50:03
  Speaker 7: husband and father in this house and he gets tens
• 50:07
  Speaker 7: across the board for that. But when he leaves, there's
• 50:11
  Speaker 7: an ego, there's a bravado. There's a whole persona separate
• 50:15
  Speaker 7: and apart from what I experience in this house. And
• 50:18
  Speaker 7: I've been out with him and whatnot. But this was
• 50:20
  Speaker 7: at a time when things were starting to shift. This
• 50:22
  Speaker 7: was you know, we just got married and we have
• 50:26
  Speaker 7: two beautiful children, and now I'm not going to the
• 50:29
  Speaker 7: clubs with him because even though he would want me to,
• 50:32
  Speaker 7: and he would want me to travel, I have two
• 50:34
  Speaker 7: kids at home to raise and I wanted to give
• 50:36
  Speaker 7: them all of my free time attention. And then his
• 50:40
  Speaker 7: celebrity started to grow, you know, he became more successful
• 50:43
  Speaker 7: and his dreams became realized, and he went off, I
• 50:48
  Speaker 7: realized later in that direction, enjoying that and then also
• 50:53
  Speaker 7: enjoying have the faithful, loving wife and children at home.
• 50:57
  Speaker 7: So it was the pretty much the definition of having
• 51:00
  Speaker 7: your cake and eating it too.
• 51:02
  Speaker 6: And it's probably also difficult.
• 51:03
  Speaker 4: You guys got together so young, you know, he didn't
• 51:07
  Speaker 4: experience other relationships really.
• 51:10
  Speaker 5: So let me tell you.
• 51:11
  Speaker 7: When I found out, Angela, I knew that I didn't
• 51:19
  Speaker 7: want him to be my husband anymore. But I understood
• 51:25
  Speaker 7: how it happened because we're together, like you said, since
• 51:29
  Speaker 7: we're fifteen and sixteen. He was my first and only everything.
• 51:34
  Speaker 7: The furthest I've ever gotten before him was second base,
• 51:38
  Speaker 7: you know, which is letting a boy go up your shirt.
• 51:41
  Speaker 8: Right, We've been a second base king, that's what they
• 51:48
  Speaker 8: call it.
• 51:54
  Speaker 7: You let him feel on your knips, you haven't exposed
• 51:59
  Speaker 7: him to your nips.
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: We definitely.
• 52:08
  Speaker 5: We did that.
• 52:09
  Speaker 7: We did, but that was the farthest that I had
• 52:18
  Speaker 7: ever been so and he was like virgin ish. He
• 52:24
  Speaker 7: was in a relationship with his first like girlfriend. I
• 52:27
  Speaker 7: think they were together for maybe three months and if
• 52:30
  Speaker 7: if I'm telling it right, they started but never finished.
• 52:34
  Speaker 5: So he was like.
• 52:34
  Speaker 7: Virgin ish, right, and he couldn't handle No, that's not
• 52:38
  Speaker 7: what I said.
• 52:41
  Speaker 5: I was scared, Okay, Yeah.
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: Explained that came. I'm just over here.
• 52:48
  Speaker 2: You know, was the turtle because I was so slow?
• 52:52
  Speaker 7: I wasn't And it was nice because you called you turtle.
• 52:56
  Speaker 3: I mean that was my nickname.
• 52:57
  Speaker 6: Let me write this down.
• 52:58
  Speaker 3: I don't want to get turtle, go ahead.
• 53:01
  Speaker 5: And it was good.
• 53:01
  Speaker 7: I was a turtle too, you know. I lost my
• 53:03
  Speaker 7: virginity to him on our one year anniversary anniversary and
• 53:07
  Speaker 7: he made it very sweet and special and it was
• 53:09
  Speaker 7: it was really nice.
• 53:13
  Speaker 5: But what were we saying?
• 53:14
  Speaker 4: What did you are we talking about? You guys were
• 53:16
  Speaker 4: so young, so you had that oh yeah, so yeah.
• 53:19
  Speaker 6: So.
• 53:21
  Speaker 7: I understood because it was like he was so inexperienced.
• 53:25
  Speaker 7: We were in high school together every day, We're in
• 53:27
  Speaker 7: college together every day. Then as soon as we graduate,
• 53:30
  Speaker 7: we get married, we have children, and then he's on
• 53:34
  Speaker 7: a path towards his career and he's out of the
• 53:37
  Speaker 7: house and he's traveling, and now he's around celebrities and
• 53:41
  Speaker 7: being influenced by our hip hop culture, which glorifies having
• 53:48
  Speaker 7: groupies and cheating and always having women around you and
• 53:52
  Speaker 7: being in the club. At that time, you didn't see
• 53:54
  Speaker 7: your favorite celebrity showcasing their wife or their family or
• 53:58
  Speaker 7: speaking on the important family the way that you guys
• 54:01
  Speaker 7: do on this platform, and doing that changes lives. I'm
• 54:04
  Speaker 7: sure you were taught to hide him, and you were
• 54:07
  Speaker 7: taught to hide them.
• 54:09
  Speaker 9: Don't tell you got a girlfriend. I don't tell people you've
• 54:10
  Speaker 9: been in long term relationship like they would.
• 54:12
  Speaker 5: Say that absolutely.
• 54:13
  Speaker 7: Even you know young people now on Instagram they have
• 54:16
  Speaker 7: the same thing. It's like, Oh, I'm gonna pretend or
• 54:18
  Speaker 7: I'm gonna I'm not gonna post I love you to death.
• 54:20
  Speaker 7: I'm not going to post you because you know, I'm
• 54:21
  Speaker 7: trying to do this business and it seems like I
• 54:24
  Speaker 7: have a girlfriend and it's not gonna be successful.
• 54:25
  Speaker 5: It's that mentality.
• 54:27
  Speaker 7: So all of these things contributed to him being put
• 54:32
  Speaker 7: in a position where cheating might have seemed like the
• 54:37
  Speaker 7: route that he wanted to go.
• 54:38
  Speaker 5: And when we talked about.
• 54:39
  Speaker 7: It, I understood because we've been together so long and
• 54:43
  Speaker 7: I know him so well. I love him, not necessarily,
• 54:47
  Speaker 7: just as like my husband. I love him like he's
• 54:50
  Speaker 7: my brother too.
• 54:52
  Speaker 5: Do you know what I mean?
• 54:53
  Speaker 7: And if it were your brother that got cheated, got
• 54:55
  Speaker 7: caught cheating, and he came home and told you, like Angela,
• 54:58
  Speaker 7: you know, I just got what she found out to do.
• 55:01
  Speaker 7: What would be your need, your intuition to do? I
• 55:05
  Speaker 7: cover for him exactly. That's the point, Like you want
• 55:08
  Speaker 7: to help. You want to be like, well, now this
• 55:10
  Speaker 7: is what you need to do. You need to go apologize,
• 55:12
  Speaker 7: You need to do this, start helping him pull those
• 55:14
  Speaker 7: tricks out of the hat. You know, you get protective.
• 55:16
  Speaker 7: So even when he told me, I got protective in
• 55:20
  Speaker 7: a sense, and I wanted to understand why he did
• 55:24
  Speaker 7: it now, while at the same time not wanting to
• 55:27
  Speaker 7: be with him. As his wife, I was devastated, but
• 55:30
  Speaker 7: as his friend, I understood how he was in a
• 55:32
  Speaker 7: place where that happened.
• 55:35
  Speaker 4: See a lot of gems in this book, you guys.
• 55:37
  Speaker 4: I was thoroughly entertained, and like I said.
• 55:39
  Speaker 5: I look stressed.
• 55:40
  Speaker 6: He does. I think he's been nervous all morning before.
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: You guys conversation.
• 55:46
  Speaker 9: Yes, if you've ever been a man in that situation
• 55:48
  Speaker 9: and you've called that kind of harm near wife and
• 55:50
  Speaker 9: your family, it's but I feel like.
• 55:52
  Speaker 7: For him it shouldn't be anymore because I'm not affected
• 55:57
  Speaker 7: by it.
• 55:58
  Speaker 2: But every time realized how much of a how much
• 56:01
  Speaker 2: I hurt you and how much I hurt our family,
• 56:03
  Speaker 2: Like writing that book was real difficult because I had
• 56:05
  Speaker 2: we had to go through the early stages of insecurities
• 56:08
  Speaker 2: and things that you know we laugh at now, but
• 56:10
  Speaker 2: back then you'll be.
• 56:11
  Speaker 9: Like, gosh, what was wrong with and do you also
• 56:13
  Speaker 9: exactly and do you realize how much how disappointed you
• 56:15
  Speaker 9: are on yourself that question?
• 56:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: What the fuck was wrong?
• 56:20
  Speaker 2: But then I also think, you know, we got daughters,
• 56:22
  Speaker 2: Like if my daughter brought a guy home like me?
• 56:25
  Speaker 2: What Like I wouldn't want my daughter to day a
• 56:28
  Speaker 2: guy like me back then. Now I'm a totally changed person,
• 56:31
  Speaker 2: different person, mind frames on a wholy different thing, But
• 56:35
  Speaker 2: back then I wouldn't want that.
• 56:37
  Speaker 7: And you know what's nice for our older two children.
• 56:41
  Speaker 7: They were maybe eight and ten when this happened, so
• 56:44
  Speaker 7: they're well aware of what happened. So it's nice for
• 56:48
  Speaker 7: them to be able to see that something completely devastating
• 56:51
  Speaker 7: can happen and you can survive it if.
• 56:55
  Speaker 5: You go about it the right way.
• 56:57
  Speaker 7: If you understand the definition of love, you understand and
• 57:00
  Speaker 7: the definition of forgiveness, you work at it.
• 57:02
  Speaker 5: You have that until mind frame. You know, you don't.
• 57:07
  Speaker 7: Act like you're too good to do those things until
• 57:10
  Speaker 7: and now they get to enjoy the beauty and the
• 57:14
  Speaker 7: magic of our family and our house is really magical.
• 57:19
  Speaker 7: And that's why, you know, when we were coming up
• 57:20
  Speaker 7: with the title of the book, I told our I
• 57:25
  Speaker 7: told Abrams, like, that has to be in the title
• 57:28
  Speaker 7: because I honestly feel like our house is magical.
• 57:31
  Speaker 5: Like you come into our house.
• 57:32
  Speaker 7: And it's just filled with so much love, fun and
• 57:36
  Speaker 7: happiness all the time, where it's always jokes, it's always roasting.
• 57:41
  Speaker 7: Rashanta and I play fight a lot, you know, we
• 57:43
  Speaker 7: joke with our kids. Like our kids come in and
• 57:45
  Speaker 7: they talk to us for hours. They tell us everything. Madison,
• 57:48
  Speaker 7: who's now out of the house and she goes to NYU,
• 57:51
  Speaker 7: she's a sophomore.
• 57:52
  Speaker 5: She calls facetimes me seven eight times a.
• 57:55
  Speaker 7: Day, you know, like it's just this tight unit of
• 57:59
  Speaker 7: a thing family, and they get to see that butt
• 58:02
  Speaker 7: for forgiveness, but for perseverance, but most importantly, but for God.
• 58:11
  Speaker 7: But for God, none of this would have been possible.
• 58:15
  Speaker 7: So there's lessons in it for our children, specifically to
• 58:20
  Speaker 7: live out what you preach.
• 58:21
  Speaker 4: Well, I'm glad you're in this space. Would have been weird,
• 58:25
  Speaker 4: you know. I mean, we came home with that underwear
• 58:27
  Speaker 4: one day, right.
• 58:28
  Speaker 5: Did you pee yourself out and published that?
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: I showed it myself appealing.
• 58:33
  Speaker 6: Yeah, do you notice that?
• 58:35
  Speaker 5: I remember when that happened.
• 58:37
  Speaker 4: Oh wait, wait, his underwear away, and I'm like, any
• 58:42
  Speaker 4: other time you might have been like, why doesn't my
• 58:43
  Speaker 4: husband have on underwear?
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: It comes home, Janitor.
• 58:48
  Speaker 9: Said, I don't know what's going on in that studio,
• 58:50
  Speaker 9: but there's some screening stuff going on in that studio.
• 58:53
  Speaker 3: My goodness. The book is out today.
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: Go get it, man, Make sure you pick it up.
• 58:57
  Speaker 3: Real life, real.
• 58:58
  Speaker 9: Love, Get it today life lessons on enjoy, pain and
• 59:01
  Speaker 9: the magic that holds us together.
• 59:02
  Speaker 2: That's right, Amazon, Bonds and Nobles, wherever you buy books,
• 59:05
  Speaker 2: your local bookstores.
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: Please pick it up.
• 59:08
  Speaker 7: Today April nineteenth.
• 59:09
  Speaker 3: Yes, and when you do read it, you read it please.
• 59:12
  Speaker 2: What we want you to do is we want you
• 59:13
  Speaker 2: to tell us what you think about the book, whether
• 59:15
  Speaker 2: it's a thirty second video taggy and now we want
• 59:18
  Speaker 2: to repost.
• 59:18
  Speaker 3: It, whether you love it, whether you hate it.
• 59:20
  Speaker 2: We're going to repost all of them because we love
• 59:22
  Speaker 2: to get you guys's feedback.
• 59:23
  Speaker 1: And I think that y'all gonna help a lot of couples.
• 59:25
  Speaker 9: And it's clear that y'all too are meant to be
• 59:27
  Speaker 9: with each other, you know what I'm saying, But not
• 59:29
  Speaker 9: only all out there. Some of y'all gonna have to
• 59:31
  Speaker 9: leave the person that you're with when they get caught
• 59:33
  Speaker 9: up in these situations with y'all are.
• 59:35
  Speaker 7: Different, yeah, because a lot of people aren't willing to
• 59:37
  Speaker 7: do the work. A lot of people don't have that
• 59:39
  Speaker 7: until in.
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: Mind, and that's very important.
• 59:43
  Speaker 7: Until it's just until dot dot dot, you know. And
• 59:46
  Speaker 7: there's also a list in the book that one of
• 59:48
  Speaker 7: my favorite chapters is called the New Deal, and it's
• 59:51
  Speaker 7: pretty much about reparations that the offender has to make
• 59:56
  Speaker 7: after offending their partner. And it's those things that will
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 7: help to let to signal to your partner that you
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 7: just may be worthy of forgiveness and being extended grace.
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: So what are those reverations?
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 9: Is the first thing people will say, Oh, that's why
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 9: he does the Twelve Days of Christmas.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 5: You know, that's right, a lot of people do so.
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 7: But you know what's funny, and that's the funny thing.
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 7: We've always done twelve Days of Christmas. We just never
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 7: made it public. And it's not the type of thing
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 7: that at first I ever wanted to make.
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 5: Public because it is grand. But I decided to start
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 5: posting it.
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 7: Because it's not about the material items that he gives
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 7: me for Christmas.
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 5: It's about the intention behind it. It's about the thought.
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 7: You know, he starts shopping almost a year in advance
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 7: for that, and every gift comes with something special, a
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 7: little note, a little treasure hunt to find the gift,
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 7: a prayer, a poem, something that is giving up his heart,
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 7: not giving up his pocket.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 9: And that's why when you you know, you read the
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 9: book and you hear y'all talk, that's why you understand
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 9: why he got so upset at these in Maryland. Correct,
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 9: you know what I'm saying, because you'll relationship is so
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 9: much deeper.
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 7: Of course, you know, because with their comment, it almost
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 7: to me suggests as though there's nothing else worthy about him.
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 7: Sure that would signal me to stay aside from what
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 7: he has to offer financially. And it's a joke, right,
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 7: But we all know that all jokes are rooted in
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 7: some truth, and that's what I think their truth was.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 7: Looking at it from an outsider, I wasn't some Jackie
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 7: come lately and met somebody with money and was like, ooh,
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 7: come up. We ground it out from day one, you know.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 7: I was always there and supporting him and loving him.
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 7: And if he failed and wound up being a secretary
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 7: or anything followed another path, I would still be there.
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 8: Yeah, a proctologist, did that take it?
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 7: It took a beat to get that.
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: I just can't believe.
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 6: What are you talking.
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: I'm just suggesting other career options that I can't.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 3: Believe he's with me, with my wife Hed.
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: It's like, you're disrespectful, real life, real love. Go get
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 1: it right.
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 3: And I just also want to say, Charlemagne is not
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 3: in chapter sixty nine.
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 1: He I'm on page sixty nine.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 3: He's not on page sixty nine. Either right, Charlemagne is not.
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 2: There's no love situation with me and Charlemagne in the book, right,
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 2: it doesn't exist.
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 3: But we appreciate you for that.
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: You got to say that. Let's everybody know that it's
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 1: in there.
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 3: Oh my goodness. We appreciate you for joining us this morning.
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 1: Real life, real Thank you for having me.
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 2: Guys, that's right, pick it up today and it's the
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 2: Breakfast Club.
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 3: Good morning.
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 9: No, you got to tell this guest I love you
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 9: before you sign off.
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 3: Yes, Casey, thank you for joining us. I love you,
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 3: I love you, I love you way more thing. Charloumae,
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 3: it's the Breakfast Club.
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 1: Good morning,