Latest / Karl and Crew / Biblical Manhood and Chivalry Q&A with Dr. Robert Lewis

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Biblical Manhood and Chivalry Q&A with Dr. Robert Lewis · Karl and Crew

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  S1: Broadcasting from Chicago, across North America and beyond its cast
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  S1: Now, from the call of Hope Studios, this is Carl
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  S1: and crew. What a day.
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  S6: We're not going to let culture push us off some
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  S6: of the those core fundamental pillars of faith that keep families, individuals,
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  S6: even churches, healthy and strong in Christ Jesus. Boy, we
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  S6: got a roundhouse for you in this hour. Doctor Robert Lewis,
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  S6: one of my, uh, probably the most transformational mentor of
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  S6: my life. Truly and leader extraordinaire. Amazing man of God.
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  S6: And we're really doing a calling. All men. Now, ladies,
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  S6: you can listen in when, when I, whenever we call
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  S6: men around here. Have you noticed chivalry ain't dead in
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  S6: the ladies love to listen. Oh, yeah.
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  S4: For sure.
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  S6: And ladies, we're open to getting your questions as well.
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  S6: So we want to jump in doctor Robert Louis with
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  S6: us right now. Robert, how are you this morning?
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  S7: I'm doing really well, Carl. I've been looking forward to
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  S7: being with you all today.
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  S6: Yeah, this is tremendous. So I'm going to give the
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  S6: floor to Ali since this is calling all men. And
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  S6: I'm going to let Ali tee it up here. Okay.
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  S4: Didn't see that one coming.
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  S6: I knew I'd throw a curveball. Here. Take it away, Ali.
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  S4: Doctor Robert Lewis is our guest expert. He's been a
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  S4: pastor writer, speaker for more than 40 years. He's the
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  S4: founder of men's fraternity ministry, developed a three year video curriculum.
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  S4: Also founding partner of Better Man. Before we get questions in,
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  S4: just tell us what. What makes a man a better man?
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  S7: A man who's a better man, who is one who
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  S7: finally comes to a place where he has encountered Jesus Christ.
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  S7: To a place that he is open to hearing what
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  S7: a man is from his Word. And the good news is,
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  S7: God declares manhood from the very beginning of Genesis, and
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  S7: it's clear, it's specific, and it will change your life.
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  S7: And that's the message that we want to declare today.
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  S6: You know, one of the big, uh, anchors of a
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  S6: lot of your teaching has been that men struggle innately
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  S6: with passivity. Give us a theological background on that problem.
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  S6: And what can men do about that?
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  S7: Well, part of part of passivity, Carl, as we've talked
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  S7: about before, arose with the fall of Man. Uh, it
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  S7: was part of the collapse of his soul. When Adam
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  S7: decided to go to his own independent way and God
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  S7: had had warned him, if you do this, you're going
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  S7: to die. Now when we hear the word die, we
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  S7: think of physical death. But physical death was the last
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  S7: part of death. But the front part of death was
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  S7: that he was going to be alienated from God. He
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  S7: would have emptiness in his soul. He would be confused
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  S7: about his life. And that's what you see play out
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  S7: in in Adam's life when you watch him after he
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  S7: sinned in the garden. But one of the big things
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  S7: that stands out is his relationship with his wife. And
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  S7: one of the things that he demonstrates is not the
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  S7: courage of leadership. Protective leadership. But after the fall, he
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  S7: illustrates what would plague man from the very beginning of
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  S7: the garden until today. And that is when it comes
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  S7: to responsible things. He just becomes limp, passive. There's no energy. And, um,
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  S7: that is held men back from the beginning of time.
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  S4: Doctor Robert Lewis, our guest expert. We are now ready
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  S4: for your calls. Your texts. Calls. Questions for Doctor Robert Lewis.
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  S4: Anything on biblical manhood, chivalry, but also discipleship. Another one
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  S4: of Doctor Lewis's passions. So if you'd like to get
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  S4: those questions in to US 800 555 7898 800 555
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  S4: 7898 doctor Robert Lewis, you know, I when I think
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  S4: about what most concerns my son, who's 13 years old,
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  S4: him and his peers are sort of obsessed right now
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  S4: with physical growth. So everybody's kind of waiting on their
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  S4: growth spurt. So it's like every, every first day of
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  S4: school is like the race to see who who grew
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  S4: a couple inches inches, who's now taller than the other
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  S4: and all kind of other things that we won't get
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  S4: into that boys are comparing. But, you know, when you
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  S4: think about that, boys from a young age, they want
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  S4: to project height and strength, and they get an idea
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  S4: of what it looks like to be a man. But
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  S4: it's not necessarily a biblical one. Speak to that.
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  S7: Well, I think it's just natural. As a young man
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  S7: grows up, he's going to want to see how he's
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  S7: going to, how he's going to engage his world. And
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  S7: from his immaturity, the thing to think of first is
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  S7: physical strength and stature and those kind of things. So
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  S7: guys are going to measure themselves. But it's also a
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  S7: sign that he's looking in some ways, help me draft
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  S7: out what more there is than just the physical. And
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  S7: so that's the big question young men ask as they're
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  S7: coming up. And somebody needs to answer it. And in
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  S7: our day, if dads and the church and some form
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  S7: of discipleship doesn't answer it, the world is going to
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  S7: answer it, and it's going to answer it with its superficial,
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  S7: self oriented. Um, uh, answers. That is going to lead
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  S7: a young man down, a lot of dead ends that
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  S7: he'll have to work his way through as he goes
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  S7: into young adulthood. And now we're in a place in
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  S7: America where most young men are growing up, what I
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  S7: call biblically visionless. They don't have a vision for what
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  S7: real masculinity is. So they're constantly reaching for the superficial.
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  S7: And when you're a young kid that does just what
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  S7: you said, you start with physical stature and then you
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  S7: go from there.
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  S1: But you can take them out of Alaska, but you
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  S1: can't take Alaska out of him. Girl is in the crew. Robert,
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  S1: it seems to me that without a biblical.
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  S6: Vision for what manhood is, we're left to our own devices.
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  S6: And this is kind of in a post Judeo-Christian ethic.
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  S6: We're going to see more and more confusion, are we not?
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  S7: Well, that's what the Bible says. I mean, the Bible
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  S7: has a great proverb that says, without a vision, the
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  S7: people get out of control. If you don't have a
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  S7: stabilizing vision that you can go to that keeps delivering,
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  S7: keeps delivering reward, keeps delivering satisfaction, keeps helping you step
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  S7: up and step beyond what you think you can do
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  S7: to more noble things. Then you're going to grab onto
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  S7: anything anybody gives you that says this will satisfy you.
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  S7: And in a modern world with all the, you know,
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  S7: the stimulants that we have and all the the inputs
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  S7: that we have, it seems like we're in a world
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  S7: where everybody's grasping for everything, but they're not really getting anything.
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  S6: Yeah. So true. Robert Lewis, our guest, doctor Robert Lewis,
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  S6: we're going to we've got phone lines wide open right now.
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  S6: text line as well, and we want everyone to call in.
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  S6: But I would really love to hear from men as well.
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  S6: 805 55 7898 805 55 7898. We've got a whole
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  S6: week of ask the experts. We got Robert here with
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  S6: us for another 50 minutes. We got a party going
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  S6: on here.
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  S4: Ali, get those questions in 805, 55, 78, 98. This
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  S4: question came in from a wife. So we and this
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  S4: is fair game because I think some other women asked
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  S4: the same thing. What are the words exactly? I can
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  S4: encourage my husband to not be passive. She goes on
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  S4: to say they're dealing with some issues with one of
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  S4: their kids. She says he sticks his head in the
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  S4: sand talking about her husband. I feel like I'm drowning,
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  S4: trying to handle everything. How can I move him out
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  S4: of passivity into protecting his family without making him feel,
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  S4: feel like he's being condemned by his wife?
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  S7: Yeah. That's the that's the age old question I get
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  S7: asked all the time, and my answer's still the same.
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  S7: And that is a wife who's trying to direct. Her
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  S7: husband will get anything but an active man. He'll just
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  S7: become more beaten down and withdrawn because he's not going
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  S7: to respond to a woman telling him what to do.
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  S7: What he needs is a community of men that he
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  S7: can be a part of who can challenge him, and
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  S7: he wants to be more like the leaders of that group.
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  S7: He wants to. He's hearing truth, good content. But with
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  S7: masculine community, men grow and become better men. So I
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  S7: would say over and over again, if there's anything a
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  S7: woman can do, it's to help encourage her husband to
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  S7: be with other men and to get into spiritually directed
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  S7: and instructed environments that he can grow together with other men. Now,
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  S7: that doesn't mean she can't do anything at all. That's
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  S7: just not what I'm saying. But what I am saying
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  S7: is the best. The shortest route between what she wants
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  S7: her husband to do and that is take responsibility, is
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  S7: get him around men of responsibility. But for her, she
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  S7: just needs to be an encouragement. Compliment what he does
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  S7: right and forget about instructing him on what he's doing wrong,
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  S7: because that's not going to work.
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  S6: You know, it's you know, you know, here's what's funny,
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  S6: Robert C you say that and and I think the
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  S6: I think in this modern world, it sounds like, let's
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  S6: just cut to the chase. That sounds sexist to even
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  S6: say that. But you got to grasp reality the way
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  S6: men and women are wired. And it's not saying you
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  S6: can't be an encouragement, but there is speaking as a man,
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  S6: we do, the defenses go up, we stick our head
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  S6: further in the sand, and it's almost so far down,
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  S6: it's almost like it's coming out the other end.
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  S7: Hey, hey, hey, Carl. That's a pretty graphic description.
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  S3: I didn't mean.
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  S6: To go there, but boy, did it.
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  S7: You said that.
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  S3: Um.
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  S7: Listen, I'm a woman is described as a helper, and
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  S7: what she needs to do is interacting with her husband
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  S7: is to be offering him help. And what a man
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  S7: most needs from a woman is encouragement. Uh, to tell
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  S7: him what he's doing well and what he's doing well,
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  S7: to say I'm proud of you for doing that. But
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  S7: where there's gaps and holes and wounds and passivity, she
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  S7: is not going to be able to come in And
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  S7: rebuild those things. That is for a community of men
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  S7: and friends to do together. That's where they really grow.
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  S7: And that's why, you see, when a guy goes to
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  S7: a men's group, or he gets a guy who pulls
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  S7: up alongside him and starts building into his life, the
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  S7: wife is just amazed at all of a sudden her
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  S7: husband's initiative. The number one thing I hear, the number
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  S7: one thing I hear from women who go to a
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  S7: better man group is, what are you doing to my husband?
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  S7: He's getting better. And that's because he's an environment with
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  S7: men that he wants to be like. His antennas are up.
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  S7: He's listening. He feels safe with those men, and he
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  S7: feels like he can come back and win with his
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  S7: wife rather than lose. And that's what we want for men.
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  S6: Doctor Robert Lewis, our guest right now. Uh, this is
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  S6: ask the experts. Week. And we got a full hour
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  S6: with Robert 800 555 78, 98 men and women alike.
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  S6: Let's get the tough ones in here. We're tackling them already.
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  S6: 800 555 7898 Philip in Aurora, what's your question for
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  S6: Doctor Robert Louis?
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  S8: Good morning, Doctor Louis. It's such a pleasure and honor
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  S8: to be on with you. Uh, doctor, I lead a
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  S8: men's ministry at a pretty good sized church. We have
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  S8: six campuses here in the Chicago suburbs, and one of
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  S8: the challenges that we are facing right now is not
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  S8: just the cultural Christianity that all evangelical churches or all
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  S8: churches are facing, but that particular campus. We have this
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  S8: creeping passivity, spiritual passivity among our men where we are
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  S8: right now in the, uh, middle of our Better Man series.
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  S8: But we we've got about 500 men at the church,
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  S8: it seems. But we only get 20 or 25, you know,
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  S8: to come off once a month and it's just it's
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  S8: it's yeah, it's it's been it's been frustrating. Um, you know,
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  S8: we've got a great group, a great core of men
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  S8: that pray about it, that engage on Sunday mornings. But, uh,
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  S8: you know, you get that, that fisheye from men when
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  S8: you ask them, hey, guys, we missed you last Saturday,
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  S8: you know, can we see you this month? Uh, so
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  S8: any strategies that you would have, doctor, that could help
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  S8: us overcome this creeping passivity?
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  S7: Yeah. Boy, that that I can tell you. There are
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  S7: lots of churches who have individuals who are trying to
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  S7: start a men's ministry within the church, uh, and are
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  S7: not getting necessarily a great turnout. And I always say
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  S7: when I hear that, that one of the first things
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  S7: you have to do is see what the pastor's role is.
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  S7: That doesn't mean that the pastor leads it, but what
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  S7: he needs to do is for it, promoting it, standing
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  S7: up front and promoting it. Um, you know, I was
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  S7: in a church in, in Nashville where they had a
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  S7: thousand guys coming out to Betterman and sitting at one
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  S7: of the tables leading a table discussion was the senior pastor.
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  S9: Oh, there you go.
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  S7: Now, let me tell you, that said a ton, because
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  S7: what it was saying is this is important. And then
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  S7: in front of the church, he would regularly mention things
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  S7: from the men's ministry or what men were doing or
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  S7: complimenting the men. You've got to create an environment where
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  S7: men feel proud to be men. And the first place
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  S7: you can start with that is for the pastor to
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  S7: be proclaiming a healthy masculinity. And he can do that
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  S7: with better men or other materials by defining what a
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  S7: man is and then teaching on it, or complimenting bring
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  S7: guys up. Let them share a testimony. But you've got
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  S7: to have the backing of your leadership across the board. Otherwise,
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  S7: what you're doing is you're kind of like an outpost
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  S7: within a congregation trying to get, uh, you know, a little,
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  S7: a little group started, and, uh, we need we're in
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  S7: a culture right now that needs to move beyond that.
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  S7: Pastors need to courageously step up, not necessarily lead. I'm
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  S7: not trying to give them more responsibility, but what they
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  S7: have to be is the proclaimer that this is important.
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  S7: We want you to participate in this. That's that's the
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  S7: biggest thing I could I could say and then anoint
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  S7: lay leadership or staff leadership to help lead that ministry
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  S7: and then, uh, give it your full throated voice from
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  S7: the pulpit.
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  S6: Yeah. Not not only can I cheer for that, Robert,
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  S6: but I saw that in Doctor Robert Lewis. He was
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  S6: teaching the material on manhood, and then he sat down
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  S6: in a group that I happened to be in. And
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  S6: he walked it through with the men participating as we went. Boom!
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  S6: All I can say is yes and amen. Lead pastors
• 17:47
  S6: get behind the men's movement and if you aren't using
• 17:50
  S6: better man, you got to get this material. So let's
• 17:53
  S6: do a let's do a quick banner ad for this
• 17:56
  S6: link here Ali. Yeah.
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  S4: Just text man to (800) 555-7898. If you want to get
• 18:03
  S4: connected to the resources through better man, just text man
• 18:06
  S4: to (800) 555-7898. Coming up great question. That came in by text.
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  S4: What advice guidance can I give my girls when dating
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  S4: to be aware of the pursuit and behaviors of godly men? Oh,
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  S4: this is a good one. We're going to throw that
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  S4: one to Doctor Robert Louis. Coming up, if you've got
• 18:26
  S4: a question (800) 555-7898.
• 18:31
  S1: Romans eight brought her to Jesus while broadcasting traffic overnight.
• 18:35
  S1: Super dye is in the crew. It's curl and crew
• 18:39
  S1: on Moody Radio.
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  S4: We are taking your questions on biblical manhood chivalry with
• 18:45
  S4: our guest expert, Doctor Robert Louis from Betterman ministries. Let's
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  S4: take this one advice. Guidance that I can give my
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  S4: girls when dating to be aware of the pursuit and
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  S4: behaviors of a godly man. Before I let Doctor Lewis
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  S4: answer that one, I want to give you our phone
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  S4: number to get those questions in (800) 555-7898. (800) 555-7898. Doctor Robert Lewis,
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  S4: a dad wanting to help his daughters as they enter
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  S4: into the dating world. First of all, I know that
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  S4: that's terrifying. But give some advice here.
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  S7: Well, having had two daughters, I've had that terror. Um,
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  S7: I think the first thing, the most important thing for
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  S7: a dad wanting to help his daughter is to look
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  S7: in the mirror and look in the mirror and look
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  S7: at himself and go, how am I modeling a masculinity
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  S7: that my daughters would be attracted to? Uh, that's such
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  S7: an important question because, uh, daughters are naturally going to
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  S7: be either attracted to dad's masculinity or they're going to
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  S7: if it's not, if it's not healthy, they're going to
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  S7: actually go in the opposite direction to get away from it.
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  S7: So a dad can give his daughter the best protection
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  S7: by pursuing a great manhood for himself. That'd be the
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  S7: first thing. Uh, the second thing I think that's healthy
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  S7: that I did with my girls is just in discussions
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  S7: around the table, whether it's dinner or whatever, using just
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  S7: real life examples, I would give my daughters a clear
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  S7: definition of what a man is from the Bible. Uh,
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  S7: that's that's what our ministry does. We we help young
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  S7: men in and fundamentals of manhood. That starts with a
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  S7: definition of manhood from Genesis. But. But if you can't
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  S7: define manhood, it's hard to see it. And so I
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  S7: think it's very important that a dad have a definition
• 20:46
  S7: of manhood, a biblical definition manhood that from time to time,
• 20:51
  S7: just in general conversation, he can reference with his sons
• 20:55
  S7: and daughters in conversation. Uh, so that they have a,
• 21:00
  S7: a lens through which to see, uh, young men around them.
• 21:05
  S7: I think that's very important. And then probably the last thing,
• 21:08
  S7: maybe I would say, as a practical application of what
• 21:10
  S7: you asked me is, as a dad, I would meet
• 21:14
  S7: the young men my daughter dates.
• 21:16
  S9: Amen.
• 21:17
  S7: They wouldn't be shadows. They would be somebody that I've
• 21:21
  S7: looked eye to eye. I'm not talking about, you know,
• 21:23
  S7: dressing them down or interviewing them, but I am saying
• 21:26
  S7: you meet them so that you can have discussions with
• 21:30
  S7: your daughter About them. And so a relationship with your
• 21:35
  S7: daughter as a dad is important, because you can have
• 21:38
  S7: those kind of discussions and, and be helpful along the
• 21:44
  S7: way of that. Uh, dating life that they're going to
• 21:48
  S7: have that's going to have volatility in it, as you know.
• 21:51
  S7: But uh, but I think the best place to start
• 21:53
  S7: for dad is just look in the mirror and say,
• 21:57
  S7: am I am I reflecting a masculinity that my daughter
• 22:01
  S7: would want to pursue?
• 22:02
  S6: That's so good. Robert, I'm hearing tens of thousands of
• 22:06
  S6: men right now, not audibly, but I hear it in
• 22:08
  S6: my spirit that are saying, I've screwed up so bad.
• 22:12
  S6: Either I've put forward a bad model or I've said
• 22:14
  S6: some stupid things. How important is the power of going
• 22:18
  S6: to a daughter saying I messed up? I've given you
• 22:21
  S6: a bad vision. Just owning it straight up.
• 22:26
  S7: Carl, that is such a good question and it's such
• 22:29
  S7: a good statement. Uh, one of the things that, uh,
• 22:33
  S7: I tell guys all all over the country is it's
• 22:38
  S7: important to exercise the power of forgiveness, because one of
• 22:42
  S7: the things dads need to know in their daughters hearts
• 22:45
  S7: and their sons heart, they want to forgive their dads.
• 22:50
  S7: It's instinctive in them. And I don't care how much
• 22:54
  S7: you've heard a son or a daughter, they are always
• 22:57
  S7: in waiting for the dad who will humble himself and say,
• 23:01
  S7: I did this. Will you forgive me? Because they want
• 23:06
  S7: to have a relationship with their father. I've had men 40,
• 23:11
  S7: 45 years old who are still waiting for a dad
• 23:15
  S7: who's 60, 70 to come and say, I messed up
• 23:19
  S7: when I divorced your mom, or I messed up when
• 23:22
  S7: I did this. Will you forgive me? And here's the
• 23:24
  S7: amazing thing. They always forgive them because they want a
• 23:30
  S7: relationship with their dad. So as a father, I would
• 23:34
  S7: exercise the power of forgiveness a lot. And you can
• 23:37
  S7: do it in the little things. Now, when you have
• 23:39
  S7: a son or daughter growing up around you, and that
• 23:42
  S7: is when you get overly angry or when you say
• 23:46
  S7: a bad word or when you overreact to something. Um,
• 23:50
  S7: you always have the power of forgiveness on your side.
• 23:55
  S7: You just have to humble yourself and use it with
• 23:57
  S7: your son or daughter.
• 23:59
  S4: Doctor Robert Lewis from Betterman just text man to 800
• 24:03
  S4: 555 7898 for more resources. Text man to 800 555 7898.
• 24:11
  S4: On this issue of the father figures, this person says,
• 24:15
  S4: Dear Robert, I was raised by a very harsh father,
• 24:18
  S4: and I've grown up fearful of everything, especially failure. It's
• 24:22
  S4: carried over to my marriage and I feel like I
• 24:24
  S4: can't be the husband and father God wants me to be.
• 24:27
  S4: What advice can you give me?
• 24:29
  S7: Yeah. See, that's that's the that's the lingering impact of
• 24:34
  S7: a father wound. And, uh, I bet you've got hundreds
• 24:39
  S7: and hundreds of listeners whose whose life has been shaped
• 24:45
  S7: by something dad did in excess or didn't do and
• 24:50
  S7: left a vacuum. And those wounds linger. And the only
• 24:54
  S7: way you recover from a wound I found, and we
• 24:57
  S7: do this in our ministry, is to be with a
• 25:00
  S7: group of other men you feel safe with, and be
• 25:03
  S7: able to share your story and share your hurts or
• 25:07
  S7: your longings about your dad, and have men speak into that.
• 25:13
  S7: And as a group of men have a vision that
• 25:18
  S7: they can join together and lead their way out of
• 25:21
  S7: that with a new masculinity. But but I would say
• 25:26
  S7: manhood tends to calcify if you don't have a place,
• 25:33
  S7: a safe place where men can discuss it, take it
• 25:36
  S7: apart and put it back together in a biblical way.
• 25:40
  S7: But when you have that, you can overcome those wounds
• 25:44
  S7: of the past. Whether it's excessive expectation where you feel
• 25:49
  S7: like you've never succeed or you're never going to be
• 25:51
  S7: good enough, other men working together can help lead you
• 25:56
  S7: out of that darkness.
• 25:58
  S6: Robert, a even a deeper dive on this. How many
• 26:02
  S6: men don't even know what they don't know about what
• 26:08
  S6: they missed out on? Until they get a biblical blueprint
• 26:12
  S6: for manhood, and then the light bulb goes on.
• 26:16
  S7: Uh, Carl, that is a great statement. I think most
• 26:20
  S7: young men growing up today are growing up in a
• 26:22
  S7: manhood fog. It's undefined. They are just listening to every
• 26:30
  S7: day current cultural trends and trying to sail into that.
• 26:37
  S7: You know, that particular stream to feel good about themselves.
• 26:40
  S7: But it doesn't work. And so I think there are
• 26:43
  S7: a lot of guys who just are clueless. A fog
• 26:46
  S7: is a great illustration and you go, how do they know?
• 26:49
  S7: They don't know. They know. They don't know when life
• 26:53
  S7: beats the crap out of them. And that's what's going
• 26:57
  S7: to happen. And usually in the midst of that pain
• 27:00
  S7: of some kind or another failing with women, failing on
• 27:04
  S7: my job, never feeling good enough, uh, getting addicted to
• 27:08
  S7: something in the midst of that pain which inevitably comes
• 27:12
  S7: as you move into young and middle adulthood, it's going
• 27:16
  S7: to come when you do that. If you have if
• 27:20
  S7: you have the, the, the, the opportunity to be with
• 27:25
  S7: other men and discuss that. And most men don't want
• 27:28
  S7: to discuss it because they want to look like they're
• 27:30
  S7: doing okay. The big failure of men is to go,
• 27:35
  S7: I think I'm doing okay. I'm doing as good as
• 27:38
  S7: the other guy. No, no you're not. When the pain
• 27:41
  S7: gets strong enough, you've got to say I'm in pain
• 27:45
  S7: and discuss it and be honest and humble. But that
• 27:48
  S7: is always the way out of your situation, especially if
• 27:53
  S7: you're with a good group of other guys talking about manhood.
• 27:57
  S7: And I know that may sound to some of the listeners, like,
• 28:00
  S7: I've never heard any of this kind of stuff. Well,
• 28:02
  S7: let me just put it in a in a concise package.
• 28:05
  S7: If you're growing up today and life doesn't seem like
• 28:08
  S7: it's going the right way, you need to find a
• 28:11
  S7: group of men who want to lead. Lead a life
• 28:15
  S7: that's more noble and more defined, hopefully more biblical. And
• 28:19
  S7: they're willing to get together and just talk about it.
• 28:22
  S7: That step could forever change your life and release you
• 28:27
  S7: from life altering wounds that will bite at you until
• 28:32
  S7: the grave if you don't deal with it.
• 28:34
  S6: Yeah. Robert Lewis is our guest. It is. Ask the
• 28:38
  S6: Experts week. We have another half hour, but I want
• 28:42
  S6: to put out a banner ad for all of you
• 28:46
  S6: men who would love to have that kind of a
• 28:49
  S6: discussion with other men. Text the word man right now
• 28:53
  S6: to (800) 555-7898. Just one word man to 800 555 7898.
• 29:02
  S6: This is where the church changes. No, and I mean that.
• 29:08
  S6: I'm not overstating it, am I? Robert? This is where
• 29:11
  S6: the church changes is when men step up and understand
• 29:14
  S6: who they are in Christ and the wounds that had
• 29:17
  S6: them beaten down. This changes the whole structure of a
• 29:21
  S6: church for health, does it not?
• 29:24
  S7: And Carl, can I add to this just to give
• 29:28
  S7: a view of a big picture view of the landscape
• 29:30
  S7: of America today in America? And I'm talking all churches
• 29:34
  S7: of all different persuasions. Probably 90% of those churches have
• 29:39
  S7: some form of ongoing weekly women's meetings and gatherings and interactions. 90%
• 29:49
  S7: by comparison, only 7% of churches in America today have
• 29:56
  S7: any kind of ongoing regular. And when I say regular,
• 30:01
  S7: once a month men's meetings where men get together and
• 30:05
  S7: talk about life. And that's why we have the masculine
• 30:09
  S7: poverty that we have today. Because without a vision of masculinity,
• 30:15
  S7: the Scripture is clear men will just wander around and
• 30:18
  S7: get out of control. And when they get out of control,
• 30:21
  S7: you know it. Because the opposite of true masculinity is
• 30:25
  S7: not femininity. The opposite of true masculinity is immaturity. And
• 30:32
  S7: that's what we see in men today.
• 30:36
  S6: Okay, this is epic. Today we're in our first day
• 30:41
  S6: of Ask the experts in just a moment here, I'm
• 30:44
  S6: going to get a quick news hit here. Young Thunder
• 30:46
  S6: bottom of the hour news hit. And we're going to
• 30:49
  S6: go on call in right now. We're going to go
• 30:51
  S6: lightning round. Get as many calls as we can right
• 30:54
  S6: now 800 555 7898. You can text in your question
• 31:00
  S6: 800 555 7898. The time is now a man. I'll
• 31:06
  S6: tell you, you I feel like I'm back with you
• 31:09
  S6: in little Rock, Arkansas. Robert. I got a fuel in
• 31:12
  S6: my belly that can't be contained. Oh my goodness. Text
• 31:17
  S6: man to get this resource and lead pastors, associate pastors,
• 31:23
  S6: small group leaders, men who aspire to dare to believe.
• 31:28
  S6: Can we see a cultural shift in the churches of
• 31:31
  S6: America and beyond? Text. Man to 805, 55, 7898. Couple
• 31:37
  S6: quick news hits. What do we have here, young Thunder?
• 31:42
  S2: The Middle East, often referred to as a powder keg,
• 31:46
  S2: is mired in conflict today. Iran's supreme leader, Ayatollah Khomeini
• 31:50
  S2: is dead. Killed over the weekend in a joint U.S.
• 31:53
  S2: Israeli military operation, Iran was quick to hit back, bombarding
• 31:57
  S2: the region with retaliatory strikes in a number of countries
• 32:00
  S2: including Israel, Dubai, Bahrain, Qatar, Jordan and Kuwait. Three U.S.
• 32:05
  S2: service members have been killed in action so far, with
• 32:08
  S2: President Trump telling the nations to brace for the possibility
• 32:11
  S2: of more casualties to come. There's also confirmation today that
• 32:15
  S2: three U.S. Air Force jets have been downed by friendly
• 32:18
  S2: fire in Kuwait during combat operations. All of the crew
• 32:22
  S2: members were able to safely eject. Thankfully, officials are identifying
• 32:27
  S2: the man who killed two people and wounded 14 others
• 32:30
  S2: in a mass shooting at a bar in Austin, Texas,
• 32:32
  S2: early Sunday in Georgia. Dion was a native of Senegal
• 32:37
  S2: and a naturalized citizen. He was wearing a hoodie that
• 32:40
  S2: read Property of Allah and wore an Iranian colors when
• 32:44
  S2: Austin police shot and killed him. The FBI is investigating
• 32:48
  S2: further as to whether the shooting attack was an act
• 32:50
  S2: of terrorism directly connected to the conflict in Iran. I'm
• 32:53
  S2: Jonathan and that is your update.
• 32:55
  S4: Thanks young Thunder. As we go lightning round, I want
• 32:58
  S4: to actually combine one question that came in by text
• 33:02
  S4: along the lines of a wife who wants to help
• 33:05
  S4: motivate her husband to more intentionally kind of disciple their sons.
• 33:10
  S4: And then, Sherry, I believe your question is along those
• 33:12
  S4: same lines. So go ahead and jump in with your
• 33:14
  S4: question for Doctor Robert Louis.
• 33:17
  S10: Hi. Good morning guys. Thank you for taking my call. Thanks. Thanks, Carl. Thanks,
• 33:21
  S10: Doctor Lewis, for the work and the service you're doing. Um,
• 33:25
  S10: right now. Um, yeah. I just wanted to ask, how
• 33:29
  S10: can a wife encourage a spouse to find that support, um,
• 33:35
  S10: to acknowledge that, um, they've had, like, trauma and not
• 33:39
  S10: a proper father figure. And life is more than just
• 33:45
  S10: being a provider, very one dimensional. I often, um, my
• 33:48
  S10: husband would just ask me just like, well, just tell
• 33:51
  S10: me what to do, tell me what to do. And, um,
• 33:53
  S10: I've had a very positive, um, father figure in my life,
• 33:57
  S10: and I heard you guys echoed so much things that
• 33:59
  S10: I've said to my husband. Like, sometimes you don't know
• 34:02
  S10: what you don't know. And that can be, you know,
• 34:04
  S10: harmful for our children. And it kind of pushes, you know,
• 34:07
  S10: I overcompensate for the kids in his absence. And but
• 34:12
  S10: I know it's the Holy Spirit that prompts me to call.
• 34:14
  S10: Today I was able to hear your program today, and
• 34:17
  S10: I'm almost not. I almost never have this opportunity. But
• 34:21
  S10: and I was just calling to ask a question and
• 34:23
  S10: I got patched in. So I pray a lot about it.
• 34:25
  S10: And I trust the Holy Spirit a lot, because my
• 34:28
  S10: husband lost his father very young and was separated from
• 34:30
  S10: his mother also very young and pretty much raised himself.
• 34:33
  S10: So just to get him to acknowledge a lot of that,
• 34:35
  S10: it's very fearful for him and he's not very kind
• 34:38
  S10: to himself. And like you mentioned, Doctor Lewis, he's not
• 34:41
  S10: very kind and forgiving. And, um, their family has a
• 34:44
  S10: lot of trauma with like, holding grudges and anger. And, um,
• 34:48
  S10: I just feel like he's sometimes still very lost child, and,
• 34:52
  S10: you know, that direction to turn to Christ, to know
• 34:54
  S10: who he is in Christ is something that he's kind
• 34:56
  S10: of grappling with. He does believe with God that his
• 34:59
  S10: relationship is very neglected, and he's just primarily been, you know,
• 35:04
  S10: indulging in just being a provider for us as a family.
• 35:06
  S10: And he does that a fantastic job with that. But,
• 35:10
  S10: you know, Jerry, you know, growing up.
• 35:12
  S6: Yeah. Sherry. Great question, Robert. What do you say? This
• 35:15
  S6: is a cry of a lot of women out there
• 35:17
  S6: right now.
• 35:18
  S7: Yeah, yeah. Well. Hi, Sherry. Um, the thing that, um.
• 35:25
  S7: If I could give you a gift, it would be
• 35:28
  S7: the gift of telling your husband what he's good at
• 35:34
  S7: and how proud you are of him in that. And
• 35:38
  S7: you mentioned that he's a good provider. I would come
• 35:41
  S7: up alongside him and put your arm around him and say, honey,
• 35:46
  S7: thank you for how you provide for this family. I'm
• 35:50
  S7: so appreciative of that. Think of ways in other areas
• 35:54
  S7: you can do things like that where you become his
• 35:57
  S7: chief cheerleader because you'll win his confidence if you cheer.
• 36:03
  S7: The second thing I would do is you're not going
• 36:05
  S7: to fix your husband. Your husband is going to have
• 36:08
  S7: to find environments with men that he can help himself
• 36:14
  S7: get fixed by being more responsible about his condition. But
• 36:19
  S7: he'll only learn that if he's with some men that
• 36:21
  S7: he admires. So the big prayer request, and I know
• 36:25
  S7: a lot of the women listening to this, it kind
• 36:28
  S7: of puts them on the edge of faith, uh, in
• 36:32
  S7: a more severe way, because rather than doing something, they've
• 36:36
  S7: got to pray for something. And what you've got to
• 36:38
  S7: pray for is an environment, another man or men that
• 36:43
  S7: your husband can associate with that I call empowering friends
• 36:47
  S7: who want to be a community of men that pursue
• 36:51
  S7: biblical manhood. You've got to pray for that moment. It
• 36:56
  S7: could be, like I said, one guy, or going to
• 36:59
  S7: a church and hearing about some group and just leaning
• 37:03
  S7: over and say, honey, you ought to try that sometime.
• 37:05
  S7: But not coach him, but just encouraging. But your job
• 37:11
  S7: is just to encourage him in what he does well,
• 37:14
  S7: and then occasionally by praying, just maybe nudge him to
• 37:22
  S7: another man or men. That would be a great environment, uh,
• 37:26
  S7: to help him grow as a man. That's that's the answer.
• 37:29
  S7: But that leaves a lot of women saying, can I
• 37:33
  S7: do more? Can I do.
• 37:33
  S3: More?
• 37:34
  S6: Yeah.
• 37:35
  S7: You know, you can't. You gotta encourage and just point
• 37:39
  S7: your husband to other men.
• 37:41
  S6: Robert, here's what I want to spike. I think women
• 37:43
  S6: underestimate the power they wield of affirmation. I think it's
• 37:48
  S6: way undersold, my friend.
• 37:51
  S7: That's right, that's right. You know, the helper. A man
• 37:56
  S7: never feels more like a man than when his wife
• 38:00
  S7: lovingly pulls alongside of him, looks into his face and says, honey,
• 38:05
  S7: I'm proud of you. And then she might stake something specific.
• 38:10
  S7: but Carl and I both could say, couldn't we, Carl,
• 38:12
  S7: that if Janan and Sharad came up right now and said, Robert, Carl,
• 38:16
  S7: I'm proud of you for this. And look, with those
• 38:19
  S7: loving eyes, I feel like the biggest man in the world.
• 38:23
  S6: Yeah, I can go to. I can go kill a
• 38:25
  S6: Goliath today. Yeah, yeah. Instantly. It's so true. Yeah. Young Thunder,
• 38:30
  S6: you got a thought?
• 38:31
  S2: Yeah. I just wanted to jump in on that as
• 38:33
  S2: a as a 30 year old that been married for
• 38:35
  S2: seven years. There's my wife. And her words of encouragement
• 38:40
  S2: are the thing that then spurs me on to go
• 38:44
  S2: be like, I'm gonna go be a really good man
• 38:46
  S2: right now, and I'm gonna go talk to some other men.
• 38:49
  S2: And so that's been encouraging for me. Is her encouraging
• 38:53
  S2: me is actually so helpful. And it's almost like the
• 38:57
  S2: spurring on that the that that women are trying to
• 39:00
  S2: do sometimes for their men by saying, I want you
• 39:02
  S2: to go do this or go do this. Sometimes the
• 39:04
  S2: encouragement does that for me.
• 39:06
  S7: Yeah it does. It provides an environment where a guy goes,
• 39:10
  S7: I'm doing pretty good, I'm doing pretty good. And he'll
• 39:13
  S7: then ask a question, how can I even do better? Good.
• 39:16
  S7: So my wife will give him more of those comments.
• 39:19
  S6: That's why it's called Better Man. Because you want to
• 39:22
  S6: know I'm ready for better. Uh, Brad in Chicago. You
• 39:25
  S6: got a testimony here. Let's get you in here really quick.
• 39:28
  S6: We're going to get as many calls as we can.
• 39:29
  S6: What's your question or comment for Robert?
• 39:33
  S11: Hey, Robert. Uh, I just wanted to thank you. Pastor
• 39:36
  S11: Charles Butler took us through your men's fraternity program years ago.
• 39:41
  S11: And I'm an African American man in the city, and
• 39:45
  S11: literally one of the guys in my group that did
• 39:48
  S11: never knew, his father said after going through it, this
• 39:52
  S11: is the father that I never had, and it definitely
• 39:56
  S11: helped me with my father wounds, too. Thank you brother.
• 39:59
  S6: Thank you brother.
• 40:00
  S7: Thank you.
• 40:02
  S6: That's a banner ad for.
• 40:03
  S7: The thousands of times.
• 40:04
  S6: Yeah, that's a banner ad. You want to get linked
• 40:08
  S6: up with some content that's going to be transformational for men?
• 40:11
  S6: Come on men. Text man to 800 555 7898. Text
• 40:16
  S6: man to 800 555 7898. Okay, when we get back,
• 40:23
  S6: we are going to go lightning round lickety split. To
• 40:26
  S6: use my dad's term on some questions. Straight ahead 800
• 40:30
  S6: 555 7898.
• 40:33
  S1: Walking closer to Jesus every day. You're listening to Carl
• 40:37
  S1: and crew.
• 40:38
  S6: Oh my goodness, what a day, a whole week. Ask
• 40:41
  S6: the experts. Full hour with each guest. Uh, the content
• 40:47
  S6: that you are hearing about here today can be accessed
• 40:51
  S6: by simply texting the word man to 800 555 7898
• 40:58
  S6: 800 555 7898. The response here is absolutely enormous. And
• 41:04
  S6: it's going around the globe as we speak. This is tremendous.
• 41:08
  S6: Luis in Florida. Quick question for Robert Louis. What do
• 41:11
  S6: you say, my man?
• 41:14
  S12: Yes. Uh. Good morning. Thank you for your show. Real quick.
• 41:17
  S12: I would just listen in the last couple of people
• 41:20
  S12: that were speaking, and you guys got affirmation from your
• 41:23
  S12: wife and and. Yes, you have done a great job. Uh,
• 41:27
  S12: my love for honey. Uh, keep up the good work.
• 41:31
  S12: What about when you have a wife that has never,
• 41:36
  S12: ever acknowledged that you're doing the best you can? Uh,
• 41:42
  S12: I just became the director of men in church. And
• 41:45
  S12: even if I slip a little bit to the side
• 41:48
  S12: and not do.
• 41:52
  S6: I lost you, Luis. Um, okay, here's the essence of it, Robert.
• 41:56
  S6: He's got a wife that is not encouraging him. What
• 42:00
  S6: do you say to that man? And there's more than
• 42:01
  S6: one listening that feels that.
• 42:04
  S7: Yeah, Boy, that's that's a tough one for a man,
• 42:07
  S7: because that feels like a briar patch to go in
• 42:10
  S7: and try to address that. But I would say he
• 42:15
  S7: needs to be courageous. That's part of masculinity, by the way,
• 42:18
  S7: to be courageous and step in and say, honey, let's
• 42:21
  S7: let's go out and talk. And I don't think it's inappropriate.
• 42:27
  S7: In fact, I think it's strategic from time to time
• 42:30
  S7: for a man who's suffering in his relationship with his
• 42:33
  S7: wife to say, honey, I need to talk to you
• 42:37
  S7: about this and then express it in the gentlest of ways,
• 42:41
  S7: but the most truthful of ways. Uh, you need to
• 42:44
  S7: do that and have a conversation. Uh, what takes place
• 42:47
  S7: at that point depends on the woman, but you at
• 42:50
  S7: least want to help frame up what you're missing and
• 42:54
  S7: what you need. You need to express that. And, uh,
• 42:59
  S7: then as far as the other thing that we've talked
• 43:01
  S7: about for the women, you need to pray that your
• 43:04
  S7: wife can be around some godly women in some way,
• 43:08
  S7: and maybe a church if you're not involved in a church,
• 43:11
  S7: that could help do that, but you could lead in
• 43:14
  S7: getting involved in a healthy church, which oftentimes will have
• 43:18
  S7: opportunities for women to congregate together and encourage one another.
• 43:22
  S6: You know, Robert, we've talked with a lot of men
• 43:24
  S6: that suffer from Luis, what he's battling with. It can
• 43:27
  S6: feel so lonely except for the fact. And this is
• 43:31
  S6: not tongue in cheek or just cheap. We have a
• 43:33
  S6: friend in Jesus. That intimacy with God and that identity
• 43:37
  S6: that we have in him. Sometimes that has to carry
• 43:39
  S6: us through the desert until something else happens.
• 43:43
  S7: Yeah. Yeah.
• 43:45
  S6: It's important. It's vital. Guys.
• 43:47
  S7: It is. It's a tough. It's a tough world for
• 43:49
  S7: men when their wives are not helpers. And like you said,
• 43:54
  S7: sometimes you just have to turn your face to Jesus
• 43:57
  S7: and say, let me continue to love and serve my
• 44:00
  S7: wife as best I can. That is the ultimate courage.
• 44:03
  S6: Yeah, that's courage, man. That is courage. Oh my goodness. Okay, Ali, uh,
• 44:09
  S6: looking at text messages coming in, what are some of
• 44:11
  S6: the general themes that we have here?
• 44:13
  S4: Well, you know, it's been interesting that we've heard from
• 44:15
  S4: so many women today during this segment. And, you know, I,
• 44:21
  S4: I speak with I can sympathize because I have erred
• 44:25
  S4: in this way of trying to help. And I use
• 44:28
  S4: this in air quotes, help my husband by coaching him
• 44:34
  S4: and the things that I would love to see him
• 44:37
  S4: do differently or and it has been a humbling learning curve,
• 44:42
  S4: as I know a lot of my sisters in Christ
• 44:45
  S4: are hearing today that that is not providing the help
• 44:49
  S4: that we think it is. And I'm I'm glad that
• 44:51
  S4: that has come to the forefront because I, I speak
• 44:55
  S4: for myself, but also I know other other women we're
• 44:58
  S4: trying to help, but we're doing the opposite, because the
• 45:02
  S4: voice is not being heard in the way that it's intended.
• 45:05
  S3: So you.
• 45:06
  S6: Know what? I want to thank you for saying that.
• 45:08
  S7: Message you just.
• 45:09
  S6: Preached. Yeah. Yeah, it really is. Oh, Robert.
• 45:14
  S7: I can, I can I can I say something to
• 45:16
  S7: put it in the simplest forms, I was thinking. Yeah.
• 45:19
  S7: For the women listening, I think that if you took
• 45:23
  S7: what she just said, you need to focus on the
• 45:27
  S7: positives and pray for two things for your husband. And
• 45:32
  S7: those two things are the essentials to a healthy manhood,
• 45:36
  S7: and that is that he gets a biblical community of
• 45:40
  S7: friends and that he gets a biblical place where he
• 45:46
  S7: can get biblical content on masculinity. But to have biblical content,
• 45:53
  S7: biblical masculine content, and biblical community of other men. Those
• 45:59
  S7: are the two sweet spots that transform men into better men.
• 46:05
  S6: Yeah. Speaking of better man, get this content and I'm
• 46:10
  S6: appealing to you. Please get it. Uh, share it and
• 46:14
  S6: use it. Text the word man to 800 555 7898.
• 46:20
  S6: Text the word man to 800 555 7898. You know,
• 46:29
  S6: this is interesting, Robert. We're doing this Ask the Experts
• 46:32
  S6: week here, which is. Has this been amazing? Ali.
• 46:36
  S4: This has been an incredible morning.
• 46:38
  S6: I mean incredible. And by the way, for those of
• 46:41
  S6: you listening, going, shoot, I wish I could hear that
• 46:44
  S6: again or I want to pass this on or I
• 46:47
  S6: just just text the word show. It's going to be
• 46:50
  S6: in our show cast. It's going to be a a
• 46:52
  S6: sizable show cast, but it's going to be powerful and
• 46:56
  S6: we'll have it earmarked with each of the experts, but
• 47:00
  S6: text the word show to 805, five, five, 78, 98
• 47:05
  S6: or man to get to this content for Robert Louis
• 47:08
  S6: better man text man to 800 555 7898. Quick word here, Robert.
• 47:15
  S6: We don't need to belabor this, but we're doing share
• 47:20
  S6: next week. We're listener supported. And one of the things
• 47:23
  S6: that just I'm just fired up about is that where
• 47:27
  S6: in the world do you do this stuff? And this
• 47:29
  S6: ESPN is not running segments like this. I mean, Stephen
• 47:34
  S6: A Smith gets fired up about stuff, but it's not
• 47:36
  S6: usually down this lane. Give us your best appeal. Why
• 47:40
  S6: every person listening I my you know, we're at like
• 47:44
  S6: 6 or 7% of our listeners jump in. And I
• 47:47
  S6: know that the problem is we all think somebody else
• 47:50
  S6: has got it. But give your appeal for next week
• 47:52
  S6: when we go ripping on this thing. Robert.
• 47:56
  S7: Yeah, I would just simply say that the Bible always
• 47:59
  S7: talks about the power of an apt word, a timely word,
• 48:03
  S7: and we live in a world where there's so much
• 48:07
  S7: coming at us, we need the truth to break through.
• 48:10
  S7: And one of the things I love about what Carl
• 48:13
  S7: you do and Moody Radio does, is you provide timely
• 48:18
  S7: words that's been vetted through your expertise of what is
• 48:23
  S7: really making the difference, good and bad, in our culture.
• 48:26
  S7: And you bring it into a spot on radio and
• 48:30
  S7: deliver it to listeners that with that one timely word,
• 48:34
  S7: can change their life. And you listeners need to know
• 48:38
  S7: how how valuable that is to be able to deliver
• 48:42
  S7: every day the timely word. And so I would just
• 48:46
  S7: simply encourage the listeners that if you want to continue
• 48:50
  S7: to assault our culture, culture and enlighten our culture, you'll
• 48:54
  S7: get behind those who are providing that timely word. And
• 48:58
  S7: I can say Carl and crew does that as good
• 49:01
  S7: as anybody I know.
• 49:03
  S9: Yeah, it's it's encouraging.
• 49:05
  S6: Wow. Ali, what do you. This has been awesome today.
• 49:11
  S4: What a privilege. I mean, it's it's sweet to be
• 49:13
  S4: reminded through all of these experts and these questions. Man,
• 49:17
  S4: this is a powerful thing. We get to do this
• 49:19
  S4: platform that we get to steward for this kind of content.
• 49:23
  S6: It's humbling.
• 49:24
  S4: Very humbling.
• 49:26
  S6: Very humbling. Again, we got two spots for you to
• 49:30
  S6: go this hour. One is better man. Just text the
• 49:33
  S6: word man to our number. And the other is show.
• 49:37
  S6: And I'm see, I'm watching this. I'm watching this screen
• 49:39
  S6: just absolutely light up. And so text man to 800
• 49:45
  S6: 555 7898. Everything that Robert's been talking about today flows
• 49:50
  S6: from really his heart. And it's been poured out into
• 49:53
  S6: this content. So text man, get that content and use
• 49:58
  S6: it in your local church. Get a group of men
• 50:00
  S6: together and if you want to hear the show cast,
• 50:04
  S6: it's time to subscribe to. By the way, you don't
• 50:07
  S6: have to keep texting. Show text show to 800 555 7898.
• 50:14
  S6: Oh my goodness. Um, Robert is we're so grateful to
• 50:18
  S6: have him with us. Um, I mean, look, we're forecasting tomorrow.
• 50:22
  S6: We got Sam Storms is going to be with us.
• 50:25
  S6: We got Kathy Cook is going to be with us.
• 50:27
  S6: Abdu Murray I mean, the beat goes on. That's just tomorrow. Ali.
• 50:31
  S4: Yeah. We've got a full lineup on our social media,
• 50:34
  S4: on Facebook and Instagram, Carl and crew. So if you
• 50:36
  S4: want to see the whole week outline, just check it
• 50:39
  S4: out there for today's show cast. Again, just text show
• 50:42
  S4: to 800 555 7898. Show to 800 555 7898. We'll
• 50:49
  S4: have those time stamps to help you find exactly what
• 50:52
  S4: you're looking for.