Latest / The Diva Details / Caught in the Act: Coldplay Concert Cheating Scandal leading To New Integrity in Relationships

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Caught in the Act: Coldplay Concert Cheating Scandal leading To New Integrity in Relationships · The Diva Details

• 0:00
  Welcome to the Diva Details. Welcome to the Diva Details.
• 0:05
  Where bold, confident women embrace life unapologetically.
• 0:10
  From love and sex to wellness and reinvention. We keep it raw, real and powerful.
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  No filters, no limits. Just fearless conversations to help you thrive.
• 0:23
  Let's dive in with Diva Mia and Diva Cat.
• 0:32
  Aloha diva cat how are you today how are you diva mia you look like glowing
• 0:37
  i am i am very i'm very good i had a great weekend that's awesome your hair
• 0:42
  is like bright up the summer color i'm telling you it's good summer color but
• 0:48
  you know what i want to talk about today what infidelity,
• 0:52
  and cheating and it's kind of fits there was a a couple caught at a cold oh my god,
• 1:01
  and i just can't get over it now you know i i
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  was cheated on right so for me it was like
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  it was kind of like it was kind of bittersweet because i was
• 1:09
  like oh but then you have to feel sorry for the family i
• 1:13
  can you imagine this must be damaged and there's
• 1:16
  children involved so let's kind
• 1:18
  of just dive straight in today because this is kind of a one that
• 1:21
  it's not fun but a lot of people have gone through it
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  and they make men oh there's a me there's
• 1:27
  a meme every second every second i just saw somebody
• 1:30
  posted a meme that was it was hilarious it was
• 1:33
  don't get mad when your spouse is on the court constantly playing pickleball
• 1:37
  at least they're not at a cold play concert oh my god so i thought that was
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  hilarious so we live by the truck yard right it goes come on over free concert
• 1:47
  but no kids can allow HR approved.
• 1:51
  Oh, my God. It's hilarious. And now they're putting like... For us, it is, though.
• 1:56
  They put like Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump together.
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  And it was hilarious. So, you know, let's think about this. Okay,
• 2:05
  it's really funny, but it's really not.
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  At the same time, people, when you go through this, and the poor families right
• 2:13
  now, because they're a national spectacle, right?
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  Right. It's embarrassing for their kids. It's embarrassing for their spouses.
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  But shame on them. That's all I can say is shame on them.
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  Because we've been talking about it kind of a little bit here and there about affairs and cheating.
• 2:30
  But you know what? Karma showed up. Oh, that's what I'm saying.
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  It showed all the cheaters out there in the world.
• 2:36
  Karma could show up at any moment and it can get you.
• 2:39
  And they got karma pretty rough. And I mean, they were both married, both sides.
• 2:44
  So both sides were cheating. But from what I understand so far,
• 2:48
  there's divorces that are being filed for after this.
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  So it's going to get ugly.
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  The last, so I put the nurse, that's the first thing on the news every morning.
• 2:58
  He's already resigned. Yeah, he resigned from it. He lost his job.
• 3:02
  He's going to end up losing his wife. He's going to end up losing his mistress,
• 3:07
  maybe. I mean, maybe the mistress and him will stay together. Who knows?
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  But they were all cozy up there until they realized they were on camera.
• 3:14
  Right there, but she's a chief of HR. That's her job to set.
• 3:18
  Set the standard. The standard. Yes, to make sure people don't have affairs
• 3:22
  with other people. Yes. And she's the one who's doing it. Yes.
• 3:26
  On the higher level. I know. Can you imagine? Well, they probably went up there
• 3:30
  thinking that they want to get caught.
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  And they were next to another employee from there, too.
• 3:36
  So everybody knows that. So not everybody. Right, right, right.
• 3:39
  That might have been her friend, who knows.
• 3:42
  But some other people in the company did know.
• 3:45
  And I don't blame the company from distancing themselves because here's the
• 3:50
  thing. And this is my belief, and I think it's becoming a lot of other people's beliefs. Yeah.
• 3:54
  If you're a cheater and you're cheating on your spouse, what type of person are you?
• 4:01
  And should I even be doing business with you?
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  Because if you're willing to cheat on your spouse, you're going to cheat in business too.
• 4:08
  Well, in the Corp Digest, Tiger Woods already announced he would not sponsor
• 4:12
  that company. He pulled off.
• 4:15
  Well, Tiger Woods should know something about Cheating Trinity.
• 4:17
  That's what I'm saying, that he'll know he's... Tiger Woods got knocked down from cheating.
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  Here's the thing, guys. It is never, ever going to be socially acceptable.
• 4:28
  It is never going to be socially acceptable. And if you're one of those cheaters
• 4:32
  that thinks they can get away with it, it's not socially acceptable.
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  And you destroy your family.
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  And you may not think, you know, you may not take accountability for it.
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  You may not think you're, you know, did anything wrong. And you may think it's
• 4:46
  okay, but it's not. It never is, and it never will be, ever.
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  And you are betraying someone's trust in you and faith and love in you.
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  I feel bad for the family. I feel terrible for the family. I mean,
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  it's all fun and games with all the memes, but it's rough.
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  Right, they show his family picture. I think the oldest son just graduated high school.
• 5:07
  Yeah, and hers, they looked younger. I know. Hers looked like they were younger kids.
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  Oh, my God. Now, they have just alienated themselves nationally on TV with every
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  single person in their family, with everybody in their friend circle.
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  Anybody that has any moral characters will not want to associate with them anymore.
• 5:27
  Well, the people of the camp, they didn't know, like, they were not cheating.
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  They didn't know. It was just a kid's camp, right? They were just so damn guilty.
• 5:35
  They were just like, yeah, they're all okay.
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  Because they were supposed to be on a business trip, and they're at a Coldplay
• 5:41
  concert. Oh, my God. Go on.
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  That just. Snuggling. Oh, my God. Because it was snuggling. It was obviously snuggling.
• 5:49
  Never like this. Yeah. Now, there's people.
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  People were like hopping. Because it was funny the way they tried to get out of it.
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  Oh, my gosh. It reminded me of when I caught my ex, too. He just blurred at the mouth.
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  It's like when you get caught, you get caught. And you get caught hard.
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  And almost everybody gets caught, guys. So all the guys and all the ladies out
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  there sleeping around on their spouses,
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  says you almost always get caught no the cold
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  play is like getting getting buku publicity out
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  of this oh my god yeah so not only did they have the public shame but they also
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  have their own humiliation and social media is gonna crucify them i don't think
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  this is going away anytime soon i think they're gonna be like the joke remember
• 6:34
  karen when she was yelling at the guy during COVID.
• 6:38
  And now her name is forever Karen.
• 6:41
  And let's go Brandon when the reporter said when they were saying F Joe Biden
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  and she said, oh, look, they're saying let's go Brandon.
• 6:49
  Everybody knew they weren't saying that. So the let's go Brandon saying is still hooked, right?
• 6:55
  People still haven't. I saw it the other day on a bumper sticker.
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  This kiss cam thing is going to last.
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  It's not going away anytime soon it is
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  so funny it's because so many people
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  have gotten cheated on you know what i mean and it real
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  and we all realize when it when you get cheated on how terrible it is and shame
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  shame on them that's all i can say is you know you deserve they deserve everything
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  coming to him i feel sorry for the family yeah but they deserve every he deserved
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  to get fired i wouldn't want to do business with a guy that's cheating on his
• 7:27
  wife right but how I don't know. You know, you cheat that.
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  How do I trust you to not cheat on the business? Exactly.
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  He never got, oh, I hope he, oh, I don't know. I don't know.
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  He just hit rock bottom and he doesn't, and cheated too.
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  Of course. Who's going to hide a lot of cheap up HR? I know.
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  He cheat on a CEO. Yeah. I know. Can you imagine that? I know.
• 7:50
  Oh, that's just crazy. I'm telling you guys, karma is a bitch and the third eye is very powerful.
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  You know how the third eye, you think it's just one eye, but the third eye...
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  Could see the whole wide world yes
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  and karma will get you i mean it just blew
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  up his life you know and i do feel
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  bad for the family because that family is destroyed and the kids
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  are going to be the whole family is going to be psychologically damaged
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  for quite some time they're not going to be able to go anywhere no they're not
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  it's not an accident when someone cheats it's
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  an intentional planned effort when someone
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  cheats yes and it's not just about lust
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  there's something broken in people when they cheat there's
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  something wrong with the people that are cheating and they
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  may say oh my my wife doesn't have enough sex with me or my husband doesn't
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  have enough sex with me or i i just don't feel appreciated enough well then
• 8:48
  get out of the relationship what if they have open relationship that's different
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  that if they had an open relationship i think we would already know about it
• 8:56
  yeah we would already know about it that's different.
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  We talked about swingers and open relationships and stuff in the past,
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  but no, that's different.
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  If you're out there cheating, you're broken inside.
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  There's something wrong with you. And the reality is, is you need to realize that.
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  And there are people that when they're younger, they cheat. And I get that.
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  In fact, I went on a date with someone and they let me know that on their first
• 9:23
  marriage that they cheated.
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  And you know how my rule is, is I don't cheaters. But however,
• 9:29
  I will say they took ownership of it and were very accountable for it and realized
• 9:35
  what they did and were in general remorse and haven't done so since.
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  That's someone that has, I guess, I don't want to say repented because that's
• 9:44
  a religious term, but they've repented for what they've done and they've changed.
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  But that's the rare individual.
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  That's not the norm. Most of the time when you have a cheater,
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  usually if one person cheats, So they cheat over and over again. And so...
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  You have to realize that the people that are cheating, they have a sense of
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  entitlement that they're allowed to cheat, that it's okay for them to cheat.
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  That's what they're telling themselves. That's what they tell themselves.
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  That's what my ex told himself. Yeah. Yeah.
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  He had a sense of entitlement. He was owed it.
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  You know, it was okay for him to do what he was doing. And everybody that knows
• 10:25
  me knows I'm not a cheater at anything.
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  I don't cheat at business. I don't cheat at anything. So I don't even lie.
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  So for that, it was disgusting.
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  And it shows a level of extreme emotional immaturity. So there have been a lot
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  of people that cheat when they're younger.
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  Like when they're 20 or 21, 22.
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  But then they don't cheat again. They've recognized what
• 10:52
  they've done and they grow up yeah it's
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  almost the edge like you have to walk through it i've never
• 10:59
  cheated on a partner yeah i've never cheated on a partner and i don't think
• 11:03
  until my i mean maybe i've had a partner cheat on me but up until that last
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  my ex but if you're 50 years old and you're cheating or 60 i those they were
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  probably about 55 60 in that range they're 50s Yeah.
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  If you're 55, 60 years old and you are having affairs, if you're 30 or 40,
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  quite frankly, and you're having affairs, you're extremely emotionally immature.
• 11:28
  Yeah. So much effort. There's a lot of effort to having two separate relationships.
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  You have to lie, plan and scheme to such a level and show so much disrespect for your partner.
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  And there's such a lack of accountability for what you did. And I may be coming
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  down hard on today's episode.
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  But you know what? I think this is the right time because right now,
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  anyone out there that's cheating on their partner should be ashamed of themselves.
• 11:54
  Right. They need to stop doing it. They need to come clean.
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  They need to talk to their partner because the reality is that sometimes if
• 12:00
  you come clean, you can actually save your marriage.
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  But when your partner finds out, your marriage is over. Mm-hmm.
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  I just hope this will be eyes opener, ears opener to all, everyone that are
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  the cheaters right now. The reason why the marriage divorce rate is so high
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  is because of all the cheaters and infidelity out there. Yes.
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  People act like it's socially acceptable, but it's not.
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  No, it's not. And the fact that all these memes are occurring is showing how
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  not socially acceptable it is. It's funny because not everybody cheats.
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  It's a core value. Okay. So if you are not a cheater, it's a core value.
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  You're not going to walk into a bar okay with
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  the girls and say oh that guy's really cute
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  i'm going to go cheat you know what i mean if you have a
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  core value of not cheating now if you
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  if you have a core value that it's okay or you
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  lack emotional maturity then you
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  might and that's really what's going on we have
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  a civilization of emotionally immature
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  people that need to grow up and i'm
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  not saying you can't have fun in life in fact i am all for fun i'm
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  all for fun i'm all for doing stuff but if you are
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  lying and cheating on a partner shame on
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  you and that's what this cold play meme a thon if you will is showing but you
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  know what it's like his record chart sells up the roof oh yeah they're gonna
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  make good money off this oh yeah it doesn't even matter if they get sued by
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  the couple that got caught.
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  They're going to make good money off of this. No matter what,
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  they're still going to make a lot of money.
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  So here's some of the things you have to do when you cheat. You have to know how to plan alibis.
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  You have to always have a plan of, oh, I was doing this with such and such,
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  or just in case you ever get caught.
• 13:49
  Yeah, people use fake names. Like, they'll go check in at a hotel and they'll
• 13:53
  use fake names. So you have to have fake names and pay cash.
• 13:56
  I just saw the movie from Harrison Ford. It's called The Survivor, something like that.
• 14:03
  Yeah. So his wife actually cheating on him with some other guy.
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  So his wife, she's in on the husband of the senator of the town.
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  And they both didn't know. And the whole reason it opened up is the plane they
• 14:22
  were on that go to Miami class, they both die.
• 14:25
  Oh, wow. Yeah. You have to watch it. Yeah. People can get in a car wreck.
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  You can get in a car wreck with somebody they're having an affair with.
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  Yeah. That's how they both know.
• 14:33
  They try to track the trail. What plane? She said, no, my wife's not in that
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  plane. Somebody else needs different names.
• 14:39
  They use different names. They use fake names. And they flew a plane together
• 14:43
  to have an alibi. Yeah, there's a movie.
• 14:46
  Yeah. I know there's movies about everything. and you've seen every single movie
• 14:49
  out there. I love movies. I love drama. Yeah.
• 14:53
  You could get in a car wreck. Yeah. You could get into an accident with your
• 14:57
  partner. That's what I'm saying. Karma.
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  It's a karma. Or you go to a restaurant that you think's not in your town and
• 15:03
  you run into people that you know.
• 15:05
  Oh, my God, yes. Little do you know you run into your lawyers. Yeah. You know? Yeah.
• 15:11
  You know, you sneak DMs and then your spouse sees it pop up on your phone.
• 15:16
  No. Or your spouse has access to your emails and can read your emails.
• 15:21
  Especially now, you know, phone, social media, they can instantly.
• 15:25
  Here's what happens. Once there's a suspicion and your partner starts to suspect,
• 15:31
  they may not let on until they know for sure.
• 15:34
  Yeah. They're not going to come out and ask you like I did. I just came out and asked.
• 15:39
  Like I just got right in his face and asked. But when there's a suspicion,
• 15:42
  they start to look for clues.
• 15:45
  And most of the time, if you ask your partner, because the first time I asked,
• 15:47
  he gaslit me and told me I was crazy and didn't know what I was talking about. But yeah, he made it.
• 15:53
  He made me feel like a terrible person for even thinking anything like I was
• 15:57
  a bad person. It was terrible.
• 15:59
  But after that, it just kept eating at me.
• 16:02
  And I just I couldn't let go. And so here's the thing. When they manipulate,
• 16:07
  they're going to gaslight the hell out of you.
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  They're going to always make you feel like you're crazy.
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  They're going to try to tell you that it wasn't
• 16:16
  real or whatever you're thinking is all in your
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  head and you're just jealous or and i'm not a jealous
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  person i all i am
• 16:24
  not a jealous person that's why i'm not jealous i don't get jealous over
• 16:27
  anything but there are signs and everyone that's been cheated on will tell you
• 16:32
  after the fact that there were some signs and that will lead to them finding
• 16:38
  out that there's an affair unless of course they die in a plane crash prior
• 16:42
  It's a fight enough. But there's signs.
• 16:44
  And almost everyone that cheats gets caught.
• 16:48
  I was talking to a friend, and this person was telling me a story about his
• 16:55
  phone getting seen by his wife. Okay.
• 16:59
  And he was cheating with someone else, and then the wife called and talked to the mistress.
• 17:04
  And he got called out on it. He ended up staying with the wife,
• 17:08
  and they worked it out, but he had an affair.
• 17:10
  Oh, my God. And so things like that happen. It does happen. You think your phone,
• 17:16
  because you have a password on it, is safe? No.
• 17:18
  All they've got to do is take your phone when you're sleeping and stick it in
• 17:22
  front of your face. That's all they have to do.
• 17:25
  They stick it up in front of your face and you're screwed. Or they know your
• 17:28
  password and now they've got it all.
• 17:30
  You know how to thumb one? You could do that. And here's the thing.
• 17:34
  If you're married or dating someone and they always put their phone down and
• 17:41
  if they won't let you see their text, that was my first sign.
• 17:45
  Is that like this my ex was always texting and like if i tried to get near his
• 17:50
  phone he'd always put it down like real quick so i can't see who he was texting and what he was texting,
• 17:55
  so that was a sign looking back now i realize it before i was just like oh maybe
• 18:00
  he was just doing something he shouldn't have been doing but he wasn't doing
• 18:03
  something he should have been doing.
• 18:05
  So yeah so if if you're putting your phone down
• 18:08
  and you're like you won't let your ex see
• 18:11
  your phone they're gonna figure it out yeah i
• 18:14
  honestly think if you're in a marriage or you're
• 18:17
  dating someone for say three or four months they should
• 18:20
  be able to ask to see your phone yeah and you
• 18:23
  should be willing to give it unless of course you're cheating
• 18:26
  yeah my husband and i reshare the password like i know the password to all his
• 18:30
  computer he knows the password to my phone yeah yeah don't gaslight your spouses
• 18:36
  either if you're cheating trying to make them feel crazy that's just wrong yeah
• 18:39
  that's just wrong and it's not just one lie mm-hmm,
• 18:45
  Because by the time you're done lying, you don't even know what you've lied about.
• 18:48
  Because the people that cheat, they have so much deception. They put lies upon
• 18:51
  lies upon lies upon lies. And they don't even have a clue.
• 18:55
  They forgot what they were lying for before. They forgot what they,
• 18:57
  and half the time they forget the, oh, I didn't go fishing on a trip with, oh, Roger. Oh, yeah.
• 19:03
  Oh, yeah, I did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Roger did take me fishing.
• 19:06
  Oh, yeah, I did. I did say that. You know what I mean? Yeah.
• 19:09
  And the cheaters are really good liars, too, I will say. That's the other thing.
• 19:13
  They have to. Yeah, because they lie with a straight face and they have a steady
• 19:17
  tone and they're good at it.
• 19:18
  Yeah, they look at you straight in the arms. Oh, yeah.
• 19:22
  They're like the best liars ever. And I'm sitting here going,
• 19:25
  hmm, they're like nonstop liars.
• 19:28
  Now, my question is, why would you want to be in business with a liar?
• 19:33
  Yeah. That's why nobody wants to be in business with cheaters.
• 19:37
  And I think it's, you know, AI is coming about. People are losing their jobs
• 19:41
  anyway, starting to lose their jobs because we don't need as many white-collar workers now.
• 19:45
  You know, the blue-collars, they say, are going to stick around longer.
• 19:48
  Yeah. Because that's not going to be replaced for some time.
• 19:50
  Right. But all these hoity-toity, you know, Vipes presidents and managers that
• 19:55
  are cheating on their partners, thinking that, you know, they're going to get away with stuff.
• 19:59
  A lot of the anything with the word analyst is pretty much gone now.
• 20:03
  So if you think you're going to get away with it and you've got money and you blah, blah, blah.
• 20:08
  If you're a cheater i'm sorry you're not a
• 20:11
  high quality person you're not a high value man
• 20:14
  you're not a high value woman and it's
• 20:17
  just low core values and you're
• 20:21
  gonna find that in life you're gonna have so much karma coming at you soon because
• 20:25
  if people find out in a company that you're a cheater i think it's gonna be
• 20:30
  like a scarlet letter yeah i think it's gonna be like they're gonna just let
• 20:33
  the cheaters go and they're gonna keep the honorable people it's gonna be circle around too,
• 20:38
  it's going to hunt after you for the rest of your life. It does.
• 20:41
  And here's the other thing. I think,
• 20:44
  That if you're not a cheater, you'll never cheat.
• 20:48
  No, you don't have to urge to. If you were a cheater, you might cheat again.
• 20:54
  If you cheated recently and you're, if you're above 40 and you've cheated,
• 20:58
  you're going to cheat again.
• 20:58
  Right. If you cheated when you're in your teenage years, we might give an exception for that.
• 21:04
  But you better have grown out of that and learned from that experience.
• 21:08
  But yeah, I think that those people will probably cheat again.
• 21:11
  And so if they stay together as a couple, they'll probably get cheated on each other again.
• 21:15
  What? Can you imagine? Although nobody may want them anymore after this public
• 21:19
  shaming. It's a pretty bad public shaming.
• 21:22
  It does require people to have double lives, though. For sure.
• 21:26
  You know, you have to have double lives. It's calculated.
• 21:31
  There's nothing impulsive about cheating. They have to plan.
• 21:35
  Yeah. And here's the thing. Once I found out I got cheated on,
• 21:38
  I went back and got my ring camera and I saw all kinds of stuff on that ring camera. Oh, my God.
• 21:44
  And I was like, oh, my gosh. But I trusted because I'd been with somebody for
• 21:48
  a long time. It was unexpected.
• 21:51
  Yeah. But yeah. So once I knew I had so much video evidence, it wasn't even funny.
• 21:57
  Yeah. Downloaded all those videos. It was really good for the divorce.
• 22:01
  Yeah. So the ring camera is a must. well ring camera is a must if you have somebody
• 22:06
  you know coming to your place and them being that bold yeah but yeah i mean
• 22:10
  you don't always i mean the ring camera caught just like they get caught at
• 22:14
  a cold play concert yeah people you're gonna get caught and there's cameras everywhere everywhere,
• 22:21
  so you go for dinner and somebody records themselves in a video.
• 22:27
  Oh my god yeah and you're in the background making out
• 22:30
  with somebody and that video goes viral wow all
• 22:34
  of a sudden you're on video somebody in the
• 22:37
  back yeah yeah so or you know you
• 22:39
  never know yeah there could be a car accident you're
• 22:42
  a bystander you're holding hands with somebody walking down the street they catch
• 22:45
  it all it's it's happening everywhere so
• 22:48
  the day of the cheaters I'm sorry guys it
• 22:52
  makes no sense yeah especially now
• 22:55
  there's so many the influencer you know how to go
• 22:58
  epivetic hurting themselves just be careful you might be on that they're on
• 23:03
  their cameras yes you know here's the thing when my belief system yeah if you're
• 23:09
  cheating on your spouse you're also cheating on your children yes because you're
• 23:15
  not just stabbing the spouse in the back you're also stabbing them in the back.
• 23:18
  Because you're taking away time from your family to go be with another woman
• 23:23
  instead of spending time with your children.
• 23:25
  That's a low quality person.
• 23:28
  You know, it really is. If you don't want to spend as much time with your children
• 23:32
  or your wife, go get a divorce.
• 23:34
  Don't play this bullshit kids game. This really is about as deceptive as you
• 23:39
  can get. And I'm sorry I said bullshit, but I'll say bullshit again.
• 23:42
  It's deceptive and you're cheating on
• 23:45
  your children you're taking away their time that they could spend with
• 23:48
  their mother or with their father and it's
• 23:51
  shameful and then what happens is and i can speak from this from experience
• 23:56
  the children feel abandoned and then the spouse that's left taking care of the
• 24:01
  children once the cheater is gone has to deal with their abandonment issues
• 24:06
  and has to do extra work to make sure that the children feel okay.
• 24:11
  So it's shameful in that because the children will feel abandoned no matter
• 24:16
  what child it is, because you're gone now.
• 24:20
  You're completely gone. Before you were mostly gone because you were out the
• 24:23
  door hanging out with someone else. But now you're completely gone.
• 24:27
  And they're going to be crying. They're going to be upset. And...
• 24:30
  It shatters their sense of safety. And if they're young children. You destroy them.
• 24:37
  They're going to need therapy. Yeah, big time.
• 24:40
  They're going to need therapy because someone they trusted just violated their
• 24:44
  trust. Yeah, that's just so shameful.
• 24:47
  I really do hope that this whole Coldplay thing makes people think twice.
• 24:54
  Before they cheat. Before they cheat again. And then on top of it,
• 24:58
  your friends and family are going to have to choose sides.
• 25:00
  Oh yeah because a lot of times you guys will have friends as a couple.
• 25:06
  And it's gonna be awkward for a long time i really
• 25:10
  think that the woman that the the spouse and
• 25:13
  the husband the people that were cheating are gonna
• 25:16
  get nothing this is such a public they're gonna walk they're
• 25:19
  gonna hit rock bottom she never come out to say anything only him
• 25:22
  that's come out say oh yeah keep the
• 25:25
  press release well he's the ceo he's
• 25:28
  the ceo it was kind of like mine where my spouse
• 25:31
  cheated with an employee as well oh my god yeah
• 25:34
  so i i mean to me i was like company's gonna
• 25:38
  be nobody's gonna want to work with people don't
• 25:41
  want to work with them i had a lot of people that came to the company because
• 25:44
  me leave leave yeah because they heard what happened and they don't trust him
• 25:50
  now yeah so the same thing's gonna happen with this other company and they realize
• 25:54
  the fallout is just beginning they're gonna lose clients oh yeah,
• 25:59
  Because this was such a public display, they're going to lose clients.
• 26:04
  And if you're in a small town and you have a company and you're having an affair
• 26:08
  with an employee and people know your partner and your spouse and they do like
• 26:13
  your partner and spouse.
• 26:14
  I was well liked in the town that I left. I'm no longer there now because of this.
• 26:20
  But, yeah, it's going to have fallout on your company. It's going to drag it
• 26:24
  down. And that's going to be part of your karma.
• 26:28
  It's going to be part of your karma and no matter what you do people will
• 26:31
  never look at you the same way they will always know
• 26:34
  that you're deceptive because you are deceptive you
• 26:37
  took a vow to love and honor honor
• 26:41
  your partner and that's one
• 26:44
  of the words this is not honoring your partner and when you make a a verbal
• 26:49
  pledge to someone else like that and then you completely violate it how would
• 26:54
  I ever do business with someone that makes a verbal pledge to me about something
• 26:59
  to do with business when they can't even keep it in their pants to honor their partner?
• 27:04
  That's all it is. That's the bottom line. It's true. Yeah.
• 27:08
  If you're in a long-term relationship... I just can't imagine.
• 27:12
  Yeah, all the cheaters need to take a step back. I mean, even people in relationships,
• 27:16
  let's say you're dating someone and you guys have decided to be exclusive.
• 27:19
  Now, I'm not saying that you, you know, you don't need to be exclusive if you've
• 27:23
  gone on one date with someone or whatever.
• 27:25
  But if you, the two of you have committed to being exclusive.
• 27:30
  Then shame on you if you're not.
• 27:33
  And it is so bad
• 27:37
  right now that people have
• 27:41
  jokes even about dating apps right they're like
• 27:44
  are you single single are you situationship single
• 27:47
  are you single but still dating your ex single are you
• 27:50
  single but actually married single I mean that's the
• 27:53
  joke is the joke is because we have to find define single yeah
• 27:57
  because there's so many people that their idea
• 28:00
  of single is I'm single but my wife still lives in
• 28:03
  my house single or i'm single but i'm still fully
• 28:06
  married single you know it's like that's not
• 28:09
  single it's so complicated means you're not
• 28:12
  well okay you can't still be dating like if
• 28:15
  it's a first date if someone says are you single and you've gone on three dates
• 28:18
  that week that's fine but if if you're in
• 28:21
  a relationship with somebody for two or three months you
• 28:25
  can't say you're single no you are not
• 28:27
  single anymore we have a friend that did that right for
• 28:31
  like six month and it was annoying the hell out
• 28:33
  of me because she kept saying and
• 28:36
  she's probably gonna get mad after this right but she kept telling me
• 28:39
  well i'm still single i'm like you've been
• 28:43
  dating a guy for six months no i'm still
• 28:46
  no she's like well until i get a ring on my finger i'm
• 28:49
  still single i'm like no you're not single means
• 28:52
  you can go out there and date who you want if you go out.
• 28:55
  There and date someone right now when you're dating someone for six months and.
• 29:00
  They find out about it now you are single right you know that's the thing if.
• 29:05
  You can't tell your partner even if you're not married to them if you can't
• 29:10
  tell the person that you're dating what you're doing.
• 29:14
  Then you're in a relationship and if they're going to leave you if they find out that you
• 29:20
  someone else then you're in a relationship you can't
• 29:23
  say you're single being deceptive when you're not married just
• 29:27
  because you don't have a ring on your finger is just
• 29:31
  as bad as being deceptive when you're
• 29:34
  when you're married because they have trust in you you may not have made a vow
• 29:39
  but you guys are exclusive they have trust in you you you're committed to them
• 29:44
  they're committed to you or at least they're committed to you right and now
• 29:47
  they're never going to trust you again and you can't get that trust back ever.
• 29:52
  So even the people that end up staying with their spouses.
• 29:56
  When they cheat, because there are a lot of women that will stay,
• 29:59
  and men too, that will stay with their partner after they cheat,
• 30:03
  the trust will never be there.
• 30:06
  It never comes back. And you're always going to be looking over your shoulder,
• 30:10
  wondering if your spouse is cheating on you again, because the trust is forever gone.
• 30:15
  Once it's gone, it's gone. You can never get it back.
• 30:17
  And you've destroyed that relationship. And in fact, if people find out about
• 30:21
  it, you've destroyed your future hopes of relationships with any high quality
• 30:25
  people, because the truth is high value people aren't cheaters.
• 30:31
  High value, high quality people do not have affairs. Right.
• 30:35
  And it's a shame that people think that that's normal for them to do what they're
• 30:39
  doing, but you're emotionally immature.
• 30:41
  Yeah. No, that is not normal. There is nothing normal about that.
• 30:45
  And infidelity is the number one cause of divorce worldwide.
• 30:49
  So if it was normal and if it was okay
• 30:52
  why is everybody getting divorced from it
• 30:54
  yeah it's the number one cause of
• 30:58
  divorce in the entire world it's not just about
• 31:01
  breaking vows you broke someone's identity because when
• 31:04
  you're married to someone even when you're in a long-term relationship because
• 31:08
  a lot of people don't decide not to get married nowadays and they just want
• 31:11
  to have long relationships which is fine you are partners right and that's why
• 31:17
  you know Bennifer like They combine names, right? They benefit.
• 31:21
  Benefer. Like people, when they date, they put your names together and see if
• 31:25
  they can make something cute out of it because you're one.
• 31:28
  And your identity starts to evolve around that person, no matter what you do.
• 31:33
  This is why it's so very important to find the right partner.
• 31:39
  Because when you get a right partner, you guys will excel.
• 31:43
  Right. If you get the wrong partner, you're going to get cheated on like this,
• 31:46
  or you're going to become miserable because they mute you and you're arguing all the time.
• 31:51
  But nonetheless, whatever you choose, your identity is going to be wrapped up
• 31:55
  in them, whether they're a good person or a bad person. And that's the truth.
• 31:59
  Yeah. So you're destroying someone's identity and not just breaking vows and
• 32:03
  not just breaking your word.
• 32:05
  And that identity is also with your children. Yeah.
• 32:08
  It's all gone. It's all gone. I have found more times than not,
• 32:15
  the person doing the cheating blames the person that gets cheated on.
• 32:21
  They always do. They always do.
• 32:24
  I have not met a person. Well, no, I have met one who took accountability.
• 32:28
  But usually I don't see people take accountability for their cheating.
• 32:33
  So when people cheat, a lot of times they will lash out at the other side and
• 32:37
  they will blame the other side. And then what happens?
• 32:39
  You made me cheat. You made me cheat, right? They gaslight you. Here's the reality.
• 32:44
  The only person that is responsible for the cheating is the person that cheated.
• 32:48
  That's it. It's 100% though. I don't care if you weren't a very nice spouse.
• 32:53
  I don't care if you just weren't in the mood when they needed to have it all the time. I don't care.
• 32:58
  It's still not your responsibility to have them keep it in their pants. that's their job.
• 33:03
  They will gaslight the hell out of you. They will make you feel like it's your fault.
• 33:08
  They will project what they've done on you and accuse you of things that you've never done.
• 33:15
  They will make stuff up. They will tell friends and family. They will try to
• 33:19
  make you look like the bad person.
• 33:21
  That's crazy. Isn't crazy? Right. The person that cheated, oh,
• 33:25
  they get a microphone and they go around trying to act like the person they
• 33:29
  cheated on was such a bad person.
• 33:31
  Because they need to save their ego right they try to find the reason to make
• 33:36
  themselves look good they gotta save their ego yeah which is another showing
• 33:40
  of emotional immaturity.
• 33:42
  By them doing that they're extremely emotional immature so if you have a person going around,
• 33:47
  telling you yeah i had to cheat on my husband because he was a dick or i i had
• 33:53
  to cheat on my wife because she just didn't give it to me as much as i wanted
• 33:57
  to or i had to cheat on my spouse because the house was never as clean as I needed it to,
• 34:02
  or whatever their excuse is, right? Whatever their excuse is.
• 34:05
  But they should have come out and talked about it. But if you hear that from
• 34:08
  someone, you can just say, uh-huh, and walk away.
• 34:10
  Because the reality is, is they're just trying to protect their ego.
• 34:14
  That is not the reason that it's okay for you to be. That's a broken,
• 34:20
  immature individual that is not trustworthy.
• 34:24
  In any instance, not trustworthy. That's just crazy. It is crazy,
• 34:29
  but that's what we just saw on public display. I just can't imagine.
• 34:34
  Yeah, yeah. And so here's what the woman's going through right now. And the spouses.
• 34:39
  I keep saying woman, but there was a husband and a wife on the other side involved.
• 34:45
  And so they're going to feel sad.
• 34:47
  They're not going to go in front of the cameras. You notice the people going
• 34:50
  in front of the cameras are not the ones they got cheated on.
• 34:52
  Right. But I heard they said she's not married, no?
• 34:54
  No, she's married. She is also married. Yeah, she's married to the CEO of some
• 34:59
  type of brewery. Yeah, she's married too.
• 35:02
  Oh, wow. They're both married.
• 35:05
  That's so chic. Yeah. So they're both married.
• 35:09
  So both spouses, the husband and the wife, and she's got two children.
• 35:13
  There's a picture of her with her two children. Oh, my God.
• 35:16
  And I think one of them looked like maybe eight or 10, and the other one looked
• 35:19
  like 12 to 14. Poor kids. Poor kids.
• 35:22
  So the person that gets cheated on, the first thing they're going to do, was I not enough?
• 35:26
  Was I not enough that you had to go out and find someone else?
• 35:31
  And this is where i'm going to say you are always enough
• 35:34
  that other person is just messed up
• 35:37
  and emotionally immature you are
• 35:40
  always enough so never ever feel like you're
• 35:43
  not enough because you're valuable you are enough and you are loved and if they
• 35:50
  couldn't see your value that's on them but you have amazing value the fact that
• 35:54
  you're even questioning that means that you are the type of person that will
• 35:58
  self-reflect and go inward, and they're not.
• 36:01
  That means you're more valuable than anyone else because people that self-reflect
• 36:04
  are the ones that grow the most.
• 36:07
  And you're going to ask yourself if you miss the signs. I mean, I did that.
• 36:11
  I was like, oh, why couldn't I figure it out? Well, I pretty much figured it
• 36:14
  out right away when I saw the two of them together, but I might've missed some signs.
• 36:19
  But when you do miss signs, it's because you have trust and
• 36:22
  love for the other person because you don't see them you don't
• 36:25
  and that's okay to have trust and love for another person right
• 36:28
  because that's what makes you valuable the fact
• 36:31
  that you love someone enough to to believe in them and think they were telling
• 36:37
  you the truth is a beautiful thing and it's an amazing thing and you should
• 36:42
  never feel ashamed for missing any signs and you should never think that you're
• 36:45
  not enough you can ask yourself though why did they lie to my face?
• 36:50
  And that answer is pretty glaring is they're just not a trustworthy person.
• 36:54
  They're not going to be trustworthy in business. They're not going to be trustworthy
• 36:57
  with the kids. They're not going to be trustworthy with anything.
• 36:59
  And, you know, honestly,
• 37:01
  If I asked myself, I would make a dinner date with my ex, and he was supposed
• 37:06
  to meet us, and he was always 30 minutes late or 15 minutes.
• 37:09
  He never showed up on time.
• 37:10
  I think people, if you can't even trust him to show up on time,
• 37:14
  how can you trust him with anything else? I mean, it starts there.
• 37:17
  And then if you start catching them in little lies, then you need to ask yourself,
• 37:21
  okay, if they're lying to me about little stuff, what else are they lying to me about?
• 37:26
  Because the little lies should have been a red flag for me, and they weren't
• 37:29
  because I was still trusting.
• 37:31
  And I'm no longer beating myself
• 37:33
  up for his infidelity. That was all on him. And that was his choice.
• 37:38
  And that's his immaturity and his brokenness.
• 37:42
  If you decide to get married or to stay married, that's one thing.
• 37:46
  But if you decide to get divorced, then you get to find someone that is trustworthy.
• 37:51
  And my hope is that more people after this incident start to grow up and realize
• 37:57
  you can't do that to people. Do not do that.
• 38:00
  Cheating is bad. Cheating is very bad. And it attacks your self-worth as the cheated on.
• 38:10
  I still cannot believe that happening. A lot of times women,
• 38:14
  I think, will ignore their intuition too.
• 38:16
  I think they know, but ignore it because they don't want to believe.
• 38:20
  It's like deep down they know it, but mine was eating at me so strong I had
• 38:25
  to say something because my intuition was like screaming inside my head.
• 38:29
  I didn't figure it out from seeing a text I didn't figure it out from seeing any videos,
• 38:34
  I didn't see all that stuff till later yeah I figured it out from my intuition
• 38:40
  and I trusted it and I had been ignoring it and I think you really need to address women we got intuition
• 38:48
  so if you think you're getting cheated on you're probably
• 38:51
  are yeah you know but they're
• 38:54
  gonna gaslight your sense of reality they're gonna tell you you're nuts and
• 38:57
  you're crazy that's what they do because they're good liars now here's
• 39:01
  the other thing cheating and infidelity and
• 39:05
  betrayal is trauma it stays with you
• 39:08
  it stays with you and you will need to
• 39:10
  get therapy after this and the people that don't get therapy when
• 39:14
  they've been cheated on stay broken i've seen it in men and i've seen it in
• 39:18
  women they need to get therapy because you have been betrayed to your soul because
• 39:26
  you have a soul bond with your partner and they betrayed every aspect of your marriage.
• 39:32
  And you've been intimate with that person and they violated you. It's traumatic.
• 39:38
  And heck, first thing, also get an STD test.
• 39:42
  First thing. Oh, yeah. First thing, make sure you run to that doctor and get that STD test.
• 39:46
  But then the next thing is go get a therapist because, you know,
• 39:50
  psychology will help you figure out.
• 39:53
  What happened. And it's kind of a form of PTSD. You're going through some type
• 39:58
  of PTSD because the damage of the infidelity is so stressful,
• 40:02
  it breaks a lot of people.
• 40:04
  You'll see the spouse take a while to come back to business,
• 40:07
  or you'll see the spouse go inward and cocoon.
• 40:12
  And if you don't get therapy, and if you don't get help, you won't come out
• 40:18
  of that cocoon, And you'll never come back. Right.
• 40:21
  And when you get the therapy and the coaching, like we had the divorce coach on. Right.
• 40:26
  And maybe even an energy healer, we had the energy healer on.
• 40:30
  It will help you come back to life. Yeah. And so if this is you,
• 40:34
  if you're watching that screening, you're thinking, I wonder if my spouse is
• 40:37
  cheating. Figure it out and then make a decision.
• 40:40
  But realize. If you have a doubt in you as a woman, he is cheating.
• 40:45
  If you have a doubt, he's most likely. I'm not going to say 100%.
• 40:48
  Yeah 95 he's cheating yeah because there are some times that women over analyzed but,
• 40:56
  yeah i would say 95 of the time they're cheating if you
• 40:58
  think something's going on then just look for the signs just asked well most
• 41:03
  of the time they'll lie yeah most of the time they lie mine did yes true mine
• 41:08
  did the first time i just kept pushing got him in a weak moment and he finally
• 41:12
  confessed actually he didn't confess he just said we're not talking about that You can't even confess.
• 41:17
  No, it's a hard truth. And it is a reality that you're going to have to take some time to heal.
• 41:23
  I think I took about a full year to heal. And now I did date a little bit after
• 41:27
  the divorce here and there, but I wasn't healed.
• 41:30
  And I probably shouldn't have been dating, but I needed it. You know,
• 41:33
  I needed to get out there and feel desired.
• 41:36
  It's rough. Now, if you can, cut contact from the person because sometimes they want to come back.
• 41:42
  Sometimes they go off with the the partner the new
• 41:45
  person they had an affair with for a year or two and then they want to come
• 41:49
  back yeah that happens a lot actually that happens a lot and they realize the
• 41:52
  grass is not greener on the other side and some wife will take them back oh
• 41:57
  yeah they will take each other back yeah there was a there was a there was a
• 42:00
  study i want to say that out of like.
• 42:04
  The people that get cheated on if they leave for the
• 42:06
  the partner only 20 will get remarried
• 42:09
  to them and only five percent of the marriage is
• 42:12
  sustained so if someone's cheating
• 42:15
  on you and they're going to go marry their mistress they have
• 42:18
  a five percent chance of staying married to that mistress
• 42:21
  they're going to get a divorce again so it's not
• 42:25
  it's not a promising you know
• 42:27
  turn on your investment if that's what you're doing because first of
• 42:30
  all you're going to destroy your marriage and the wife
• 42:33
  is probably going to be very upset and not give an inch
• 42:36
  on the divorce you're going to split 50 50 everything
• 42:39
  if not more and then you're going to go get married to someone else have nothing
• 42:43
  start all over again and now you're going to be have a five percent chance of
• 42:46
  yeah of staying together it's ridiculous why would you want to do that it's
• 42:50
  ridiculous because people are stupid yeah not only are they emotionally immature
• 42:55
  they're freaking stupid yeah it's just dumb. Yeah.
• 42:59
  And especially if you're just in a relationship, you know how easy it is to
• 43:03
  get out of a relationship?
• 43:04
  If you're not married and you don't have any property together,
• 43:08
  even if you've been together for five or six years, if you're not married,
• 43:12
  you can walk away from that relationship pretty easily. Easy.
• 43:16
  So why the hell would you cheat? Right.
• 43:19
  I mean, there's no need. Just leave the relationship. Just break up.
• 43:25
  I would say you got to cut contact and then you got to get your therapist.
• 43:28
  And you got to get your STD test.
• 43:31
  I know we're all about make sure you're STD tested. Yeah. But that STD test is important.
• 43:37
  And then journaling. I go back to journaling all the time. You got to write
• 43:41
  it down because you're going to feel like shit.
• 43:44
  And you're going to feel like you have no value, like you have no worth.
• 43:48
  And you know deep down you have amazing worth and amazing value.
• 43:50
  But there's going to be some dark days.
• 43:53
  And you're going to be sad. And you're going to have to really write down how you feel.
• 43:59
  And the reason I say write it down is because you get it out when you write it down.
• 44:03
  It's just it's like you you dump it on the paper and
• 44:06
  you don't have to carry it as much that's why people make
• 44:09
  a book write the books that's why people write books yeah yeah
• 44:12
  and once you've gone through therapy maybe you've
• 44:15
  got a coach a divorcing coach or an energy healer
• 44:18
  i went through mirror ball i went to like a resort
• 44:21
  to just kind of de-stress and kind of
• 44:24
  get the ick out of me you gotta learn to
• 44:27
  take your power back and you're gonna grow and
• 44:30
  this is actually gonna to be a life lesson for you you're
• 44:34
  going to grow more than you ever thought now you may be a little questionable when
• 44:38
  you trust someone in the future especially if you know that you know
• 44:40
  especially if you hear they cheated you might be a little what am
• 44:43
  i gonna do but you're definitely gonna question who you
• 44:46
  trust in the future but that's okay put up
• 44:49
  some boundaries get your power back focus on your
• 44:52
  health glow up make sure you look amazing that's
• 44:55
  all it is you have to yeah and you know why it's not for them it's
• 44:58
  for you yeah because it'll it'll help you heal and your
• 45:03
  emotional boundaries will make sure that people like this don't come
• 45:06
  back right you have to look amazing for
• 45:09
  you not for you look amazing for you and don't blame yourself no never never
• 45:14
  i have had so many people that i've talked to through the whole divorce thing
• 45:18
  when they've gotten divorced too and i've just listened to their stories and
• 45:22
  a lot of time people blame themselves They wonder what they did wrong, what they did wrong.
• 45:29
  They could have done differently. That's why they have that phrase,
• 45:32
  it's me, not you. Yeah, it's them, it's not you. Yeah.
• 45:36
  And you're not flawed. You're strong because you're going to survive this.
• 45:41
  You're going to come out stronger. And this is going to be the biggest life lesson of your life.
• 45:46
  You're going to find someone that truly loves you. Yeah, for sure.
• 45:49
  And I really truly believe that, especially if you heal. If you don't heal,
• 45:54
  then yes, you're going to get stuck.
• 45:57
  You're going to get stuck repeating the same relationships as you've had before.
• 46:01
  And you're going to wonder why you can't find your person you're
• 46:04
  going to look for your identity in the other person you're going to constantly try
• 46:07
  to make you fit the
• 46:10
  other person but you don't do that
• 46:13
  heal yourself come out strong and
• 46:17
  the person that you want will just show up yeah and
• 46:20
  i know we've talked a lot about dating house but i'm a firm believer
• 46:23
  that god will guide someone in your direction when you
• 46:26
  are ready and when you are healed when you
• 46:29
  least expect it when you least expect it cheating is
• 46:32
  not a reflection of you you just have to realize that if it
• 46:35
  was you would be the only one cheated on right but
• 46:39
  since 50 of the freaking married couples out there well
• 46:42
  not it's not 50 but 50 in
• 46:45
  divorce right or more now but the majority
• 46:48
  of those that ended divorce were cheated on yeah because
• 46:52
  there are so many emotionally immature individuals because
• 46:55
  an emotionally mature person would say you know what this isn't
• 46:58
  working for me i'm not happy i think
• 47:01
  we've grown apart i think we should get divorced that's the emotionally mature
• 47:06
  thing to do it may be that you're a growth-minded person and they just want
• 47:10
  to stay status quo and that's too much of a separation and you decide to get
• 47:15
  divorced but most of us in marriages and this is the sad truth.
• 47:20
  Even when we're emotionally growing apart, we'll stay. I stayed.
• 47:26
  Most people will stay unless there's infidelity.
• 47:30
  Because that's a stereotype too. You don't get divorced unless someone cheated.
• 47:35
  And a lot of people won't leave unless there's infidelity.
• 47:38
  They'll stay in a miserable relationship for a long time. And they won't leave unless someone cheats.
• 47:44
  And so when that happens, that means to change. I think people need to realize
• 47:48
  if you're not happy, it's time to move on.
• 47:50
  There doesn't have to be an infidelity because the infidelity destroys all kinds of things.
• 47:57
  Destroys everything. You know, honestly, if my ex-husband would have come and
• 48:00
  said, you know what, we've gone to parties, I think we should have divorced.
• 48:02
  I would have been like, fine.
• 48:03
  Yeah. You would have been okay. I would have been fine. Yeah.
• 48:05
  Yeah. It's the whole betrayal, the whole stomping on your heart, that thing.
• 48:10
  Cheating, lying behind your back. Yeah. All of that. Yeah. Don't blame yourself. You are loyal.
• 48:14
  Right. That is a pure core value, loyalty.
• 48:19
  And you are going to find someone that will love your loyalty,
• 48:22
  will take that loyalty and will guard it safely and will protect you.
• 48:29
  And just realize it's not a flaw. It's a strength to have loyalty.
• 48:33
  People value loyalty. In this world, we love loyalty. And that means you have a good character.
• 48:40
  Having that good character is an amazing thing. So there's nothing broken in you.
• 48:44
  You might be a little damaged and beat up right now because you got cheated on.
• 48:49
  But you have that loyalty and just remember that if that's your core value,
• 48:54
  good on you. There's no shame in loyalty at all.
• 48:58
  I would say make sure you get kids in therapy too. The kids,
• 49:02
  that's the hard part, I think.
• 49:04
  They're going to lose some self-respect. They're going to think that they weren't good enough.
• 49:08
  They're going to wonder why their daddy or their mommy left them.
• 49:12
  They're going to wonder why they got cheated on.
• 49:15
  Because they did get cheated on. They got cheated out of time with their parent
• 49:19
  because their parent was off colluding with someone else. Yeah.
• 49:23
  Canoodling, I should say. Canoodling instead of colluding. Canoodling with someone else.
• 49:28
  And so when that happens, you have to say, oh, my gosh, what am I going to do for my kids?
• 49:33
  Yeah. The kids is the hard part. The kids is the hard part.
• 49:37
  If you don't get to the right therapy, you don't fix them. They might stay with
• 49:40
  them for life. Yeah, and I do recommend that you don't just send them to your therapist.
• 49:45
  Right. A lot of people will take kids and they say, I'm going to therapy.
• 49:48
  You can go to the hour after mine just to make it easy. And I don't recommend that.
• 49:52
  There are people that specialize in children therapy.
• 49:55
  Make sure they're a good person and quality person.
• 49:58
  But when they have a lack of self-worth, they open themselves up for child predators.
• 50:05
  So just realize that. You have to keep extra eyes on them, especially if they're younger.
• 50:11
  Because child predators look for that.
• 50:15
  That just... It does. You don't want your child harmed because you got a divorce,
• 50:22
  and now they're open to having a child predator molest them or do worse.
• 50:27
  Because they... Well, molestation is pretty bad, but... That's their weakness.
• 50:30
  That is a weakness. And you don't want them kidnapped. I mean, there's...
• 50:33
  Or bad things happen. Let's not even go there because it makes me...
• 50:37
  It turns my stomach just thinking. Yeah, me too.
• 50:39
  But bad things can happen. So you have to make sure they get therapy,
• 50:42
  make sure they know their worth, and make sure you give them lots of love.
• 50:47
  Now, I'm not saying spoil them. You still need to have discipline.
• 50:50
  Rules, boundaries, and limitations, I'm always about.
• 50:52
  You have rules, you have boundaries, and you have limitations.
• 50:55
  Give them a little bit of a rope, though, if they're acting out a little bit
• 50:59
  because that was going to happen.
• 51:01
  So they're going to act out. Yeah. But this is not the end of your story as a family.
• 51:07
  And I am the first to tell you, I have such a good family. I love my children.
• 51:13
  We have so much fun together now. It feels like a dark cloud got lifted off the cloud family.
• 51:20
  It's better than when I was married. And some people say we're staying together
• 51:24
  because of the children. That's the biggest excuse.
• 51:27
  I'm staying together because I have children. I don't want to do anything to
• 51:29
  the children. But the reality is, is if you would have left without the infidelity,
• 51:33
  it would have been better for the children.
• 51:35
  And now that you have left.
• 51:39
  I think the children can look at your example. Okay, look, just for example,
• 51:45
  you know, my mom was cheating on it.
• 51:47
  They're still together. It's okay for me to do that too, you see?
• 51:49
  You know, my ex actually did that. He said, well, my mother cheated on my father.
• 51:55
  He actually used that as an excuse. Oh, my God.
• 51:59
  He went through like five or six different excuses, projections,
• 52:02
  all these things. When he got caught, he was backed into a corner.
• 52:04
  He was like coming out, lashing with everything.
• 52:06
  But he did. He used that. Well, my mother cheated on her husband.
• 52:09
  I'm like, okay, and you're 50 years old, 49.
• 52:13
  Yeah, I was like, okay, so you should do it. So you're using that as a justification
• 52:16
  because your mother did it?
• 52:19
  I was like, wow, it's not a good thing to do.
• 52:23
  But just really take care of the kids. Just keep an eye out for them.
• 52:26
  Think about it as being a chapter in your book and i
• 52:29
  know it hurts especially if you've
• 52:31
  been a decade two decades three decades with
• 52:34
  someone that's half of your life yeah mine's
• 52:38
  half over half my life yeah and some people
• 52:41
  a third of their lives and some people you know you might be in a relationship for
• 52:44
  10 years and 10 years of your life and good quality
• 52:47
  years maybe you were like 25 to 35 your prime childbirth
• 52:50
  in years or whatever you never got married because you were staying
• 52:53
  with this person and loyal well you know
• 52:56
  what it happens you have to say this happened
• 52:59
  yep take a step i see what happened and now
• 53:02
  what and i always say now what and what did i learn from it and now what am
• 53:06
  i going to do about it don't stay in the suck because if you stay in the suck
• 53:11
  and stay in the pain and stay in the misery you're going to stay there people
• 53:14
  get stuck in that pain and never find their way out it's like they get stuck
• 53:19
  in a dark room and can't see any You can't see any light. Yeah.
• 53:22
  So just look for the light.
• 53:25
  Take a few steps towards it every day, and you'll get there.
• 53:29
  If you level up, too, if you glow up, you're going to upgrade to a much better person. Oh, yeah.
• 53:34
  There's always the red light every day of the turner. Absolutely.
• 53:38
  I hope you find a partner that's not a cheater.
• 53:42
  I hope you find a partner that values loyalty, values respect, and...
• 53:48
  And loves you completely. But you're not going to attack to the same person
• 53:51
  because you're already done. Well, until you're healed, you may.
• 53:54
  You may, yes. And that's the problem.
• 53:56
  That's the reason why therapy is so important. If you're not healed,
• 53:59
  you're going to keep fighting the narcissists or the cheaters or the backstabbers
• 54:04
  or even the violent men, right?
• 54:06
  Or violent women. There are women out there that beat up on their men.
• 54:09
  I've seen that on my own eyes. I'm like, what the heck?
• 54:13
  Yes. I'm like, let's stop touching each other in violent ways because that's
• 54:18
  not allowed. Yeah, that's called divorce now.
• 54:21
  Get out of that relationship crazy. Crazy is too much crazy.
• 54:26
  Just remember, we treat each other with respect. If you're with a partner,
• 54:29
  why don't you respect them? Why don't you love them?
• 54:34
  I mean, you have a beautiful relationship. And you guys respect each other and love each other.
• 54:39
  And you can see it when you go out. Now, I'm not saying you never argue.
• 54:42
  Oh, yeah. We came a long way, believe me. But you're not screaming at each other.
• 54:46
  You're not hitting each other. You're not hurting each other.
• 54:49
  Yeah. Because if you get to that point, you're emotionally immature.
• 54:52
  Mm-hmm. And you're not in a good relationship.
• 54:55
  And I don't care which side starts it. It doesn't matter. If either side gets
• 54:59
  to the point where they're screaming and hitting each other,
• 55:01
  it's not a good relationship.
• 55:03
  Oh, I will tell you right now. This is what I don't like. You did this.
• 55:06
  And he will say the same thing. Yeah. Yeah.
• 55:08
  You just have to talk to each other. Communication, yeah. Yeah.
• 55:11
  I don't like that. So upgrade to the next relationship and redefine your definition of love.
• 55:16
  Yeah. Make your definition be someone that treats me with respect.
• 55:20
  Uh-huh. Someone that I respect. Someone that I can love and laugh with.
• 55:23
  Laughter is so important. Someone that...
• 55:26
  After you come home, feel relaxed, don't give you anxiety.
• 55:30
  That gives you peace. That gives you peace. Yeah. You're not unworthy of love.
• 55:35
  You're worthy of all the love. Mm-hmm.
• 55:38
  And, you know, I always go back to the golden rule. You should always treat
• 55:41
  people the way you want to be treated. Mm-hmm.
• 55:43
  If you treat someone with love and respect and you don't get that back,
• 55:48
  you're in the wrong relationship.
• 55:49
  And I don't care if it's friends, family, or your partner.
• 55:54
  It matters. Right. So if you're giving love and respect to other people and
• 55:59
  they are consistently not, you're in the wrong relationship.
• 56:03
  So you have a choice. And the lesson you need to learn is it's time to walk away. Right.
• 56:09
  So if you don't, then you're just glutton for punishment.
• 56:13
  And don't be a glutton for punishment. I don't even think that phrase is used anymore, but that's OK.
• 56:18
  I just dated myself. But you're a glutton for punishment if you're sitting in
• 56:21
  a bad relationship where they're abusing you. You just show yourself.
• 56:24
  You just show your age. I just totally showed my age.
• 56:28
  I guess I can't pass for 40 anymore.
• 56:33
  52 is coming out. But just remember, you were betrayed.
• 56:37
  And people that lie and betray and hurt other people, they're not good quality people.
• 56:43
  Or they're damaged or they're broken and they need to get a grip.
• 56:48
  No, you don't want to be a sociable guy. I hope that couple that got caught cleans up their act.
• 56:55
  I hope they grow up. I hope they fix themselves. I actually feel bad for them
• 56:59
  with all these things. I don't. When viral. I don't.
• 57:03
  And the reason I don't is because when they got caught, they still tried to get out of it.
• 57:10
  You know, they were still being like liars. Yes.
• 57:14
  You know what I mean? I mean, I always feel like, you know, is it enough already?
• 57:18
  People stop making fun of it.
• 57:19
  But it's not going to end. It's not going to end anytime soon.
• 57:22
  No. This is an episode that I want you to share with people.
• 57:26
  This is an episode I want you to give to anyone you know that's going through a hard time. Right.
• 57:31
  And if you're a friend and you think that they may be getting cheated on, share this episode.
• 57:37
  Right. Because then it's not saying, hey, you can just say it's a funny episode.
• 57:42
  Because then you're sharing it with people and saying, hey, look,
• 57:45
  this is a way to just recover.
• 57:49
  Recover from a down time. And we have lots of episodes on getting divorced and
• 57:53
  surviving betrayal, et cetera.
• 57:57
  But this is a way for you to evolve as a person, to grow as a person,
• 58:02
  and find somebody that truly loves you.
• 58:05
  And that's, I think, that's what we all want. I think we want to find someone
• 58:09
  that cares about us as much as we do them. Yeah.
• 58:12
  We want someone to love us as much as we do them. And we just want to have our
• 58:17
  partner be loyal and trustworthy.
• 58:21
  Yes. You know, that's the difficulty of connection, isn't it?
• 58:24
  It's like you're sitting across from a table on a first date.
• 58:26
  You don't even know hardly anything about the partner.
• 58:29
  So you want them to be honest and you want them to be truthful.
• 58:32
  And that goes a long way. Oh, yeah.
• 58:34
  Yeah. Yeah. And if they can't because they're a liar or a cheater,
• 58:38
  well, there you go. Yeah.
• 58:40
  You can't. Because you don't go in as a liar, try to cover stuff. Just open it up.
• 58:48
  Open it up. And I honestly. It feels like open book.
• 58:51
  Yeah, if you're dating someone and you come across as fake or manipulative on
• 58:56
  a first date, I don't go on a second date. No.
• 58:59
  Because I already realized that. Don't waste your time.
• 59:02
  The fakeness and the manipulation is going to lead to fakeness and manipulation
• 59:06
  when you get down the road.
• 59:08
  And I was talking to this woman who had been in a relationship for eight years.
• 59:12
  I'm going to share a little bit of her story. I'm not going to say her name,
• 59:14
  so nobody's going to know who she is.
• 59:17
  She's been dating a guy for eight years. And I said, and she's engaged.
• 59:21
  She's been engaged for two years.
• 59:22
  I said, you shut a date? And she
• 59:24
  goes, no, not yet. I'm just a little uncertain. I go, well, there you go.
• 59:27
  If you're uncertain about getting married and you've been engaged for two years
• 59:31
  and you've been uncertain for two years. And why do you still stay engaged?
• 59:35
  This is the reason why. He seems like a good man. Thank you.
• 59:39
  She doesn't want to start over because she's in her 30s. And they have a kid
• 59:42
  together, even though they haven't gotten married yet. They have a kid together. He tries.
• 59:48
  But to me, that's not enough. To me,
• 59:51
  I want to match. I want to align with somebody. I want to have fun. Yeah.
• 59:55
  I want to goof around. I want to enjoy my time together. I want to have peace when I'm with someone.
• 1:00:01
  Yeah. If they're not giving you that and you have doubts.
• 1:00:05
  Time to get out. It's time to get out. There is someone who deserves you.
• 1:00:09
  Yes. And personality and character and values and morals are so important.
• 1:00:13
  So that's what you need to align with. Don't worry if they're six foot two.
• 1:00:18
  Don't worry if, you know, they drive a sports car.
• 1:00:21
  Don't worry if they have a million dollars in the bank.
• 1:00:24
  Find someone that aligns with your values. Someone that you can respect and
• 1:00:29
  that can respect you. Yeah. And that you can laugh with.
• 1:00:33
  And then make sure they're loyal. Right. And they're not a cheater.
• 1:00:37
  You should be able to talk anything and everything between you two.
• 1:00:41
  Even though you might end up with, like, fight, but we still talked about it. Exactly. Yeah.
• 1:00:46
  Because that's what relationships are supposed to be.
• 1:00:49
  I think that's what everybody wants in a relationship. Right.
• 1:00:52
  They want their best friend.
• 1:00:55
  Yeah. They want their partner to be their best friend.
• 1:00:59
  They don't have to agree with you all the time.
• 1:01:02
  They don't. If you have something in your mind, you have to tell them.
• 1:01:04
  And you don't have to be the same. Right. You can have a lot of differences.
• 1:01:08
  You know, I feel like maybe one of you likes to watch football and the other one wants to go do yoga.
• 1:01:13
  Oh, we, we, we, you know, household, we've gone through that. Yeah.
• 1:01:17
  And that's okay. Once the football season comes. You're off to yoga. I'm off to yoga. Okay.
• 1:01:22
  And I love it. I go shopping. You go shopping. She goes for yoga. She spends money.
• 1:01:27
  Yeah, spend the money. When the football, especially college football,
• 1:01:30
  when the college football season starts on the pre, that's it.
• 1:01:35
  Saturday afternoon is my free time. I can see that that's my free time. Yeah.
• 1:01:40
  And the problem is, is this couple was probably going off to events together
• 1:01:44
  and leaving their spouses at home. Yeah. To take care of the kids.
• 1:01:48
  Yeah. Just stabbing them in the back little by little. Yeah.
• 1:01:51
  But you need to pick one habit that
• 1:01:54
  you could do together. You got to have something you do together. Yeah.
• 1:01:57
  So whether it's working out or hiking or dancing or snorkeling.
• 1:02:05
  Judging for months, we both love to go to concerts. Concerts.
• 1:02:08
  So you like outdoor bands. Yeah, like concerts.
• 1:02:10
  So you would have been up there on the KISS camp.
• 1:02:13
  Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You would have been kissing on the KISS camp. Right.
• 1:02:16
  You would have been like up there. Here we are. We're a married couple. We're not going to hide.
• 1:02:21
  We were just at Metallica. You know, it's kind of funny because I was thinking
• 1:02:25
  that in the future that people will hide or not hide when they get caught on the kiss cam.
• 1:02:33
  Because had they not hidden, no one would have known.
• 1:02:36
  Yeah, I know. Had they not freaked out so badly, no one would have known.
• 1:02:40
  Had they just act regularly, it would just be like function.
• 1:02:43
  But that's not really true, because if anybody ever watches that concert that they know.
• 1:02:48
  Somebody would have seen them yeah you know that somebody would
• 1:02:51
  have seen so if they were cocky up there it might have been just as bad yeah
• 1:02:54
  it's just the whole world wouldn't know it was so funny because
• 1:02:57
  my friend live in massachusetts she was i just i
• 1:03:00
  saw that i just texted her did you see that i
• 1:03:03
  know it's like it's so funny i said i'm just glad it wasn't used to say haha
• 1:03:07
  that's not funny yeah no if it was if it if i if i saw my partner up there with
• 1:03:13
  another woman oh my god i would have been mortified it was bad enough the public
• 1:03:18
  displays that they did after i got divorced,
• 1:03:21
  and the bs that she posted all over social media it was bad enough but it had it happened after,
• 1:03:28
  oh my gosh oh my god i would have been mortified i can't even imagine that poor
• 1:03:32
  family that poor that poor wife and the poor husband too i mean it's just i
• 1:03:37
  can't even think of it it's i can't it's mind-blowing both side family hit rock
• 1:03:42
  bottom yeah doesn't matter how much money they It just destroyed your entire legacy.
• 1:03:48
  Everything you built for your family, everything you built for your children,
• 1:03:51
  your name, your reputation.
• 1:03:55
  All gone. It's gone. Gone. It's gone.
• 1:03:58
  So choose wisely. When you find your partner, choose wisely.
• 1:04:02
  And don't stay with a partner you don't like, but don't cheat on them. Yeah.
• 1:04:07
  Don't cheat. Cheating is just really bad. Well, either work it out and stay
• 1:04:11
  together or work it out and get divorced. or split up if you're dating. Yeah. But don't cheat.
• 1:04:17
  It's about the lowest of the low that you can do to a partner.
• 1:04:21
  And they do say it's like when there's an infidelity and your partner cheats,
• 1:04:25
  it's almost like losing a partner, almost like a death.
• 1:04:30
  Because part of you dies with that affair.
• 1:04:33
  Yeah, I know. That's why you have to go through the stages of grief and mourning.
• 1:04:37
  And you have to come out of it. You don't have to. Some people don't come out
• 1:04:41
  of it. Some people stay stuck.
• 1:04:43
  But we're here to help you come out of it. Right. That's what we're here for.
• 1:04:47
  And we're here to help you grow.
• 1:04:49
  And to become empowered women that you are. Right. And to know your self-worth.
• 1:04:54
  And we want to help in any way we can. And I'm sorry, Min. If you got cheated on, listen away as well.
• 1:05:01
  Because we expect people to have good quality values. And good character.
• 1:05:05
  And if you don't have good character, than let the let the other
• 1:05:08
  person go yeah let them go because it's bad
• 1:05:11
  character yeah they weren't raised right honestly and
• 1:05:14
  there's a lot of people out there that haven't been raised right and even
• 1:05:18
  if you can even weren't raised right or your mama didn't raise you right you
• 1:05:22
  have a choice when you're an adult you get to choose to treat other people with
• 1:05:27
  respect you get to choose to treat people with value and if we all just gave
• 1:05:32
  people love and treated everyone with love and kindness,
• 1:05:36
  the world would be such a better place.
• 1:05:38
  Yes, for sure. So this is Diva Mia. I am love for today. Yes,
• 1:05:43
  Diva Cat. You are glowing today, by the way. Oh, thank you.
• 1:05:47
  Signing off. All right. Have a wonderful day. Ciao, ciao.
• 1:05:51
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• 1:05:57
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• 1:06:07
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• 1:06:10
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• 1:06:12
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