Latest / Pod Therapy / #400: Moving on from Breakup, Human Turtle, Confused after Cancer

Transcript

#400: Moving on from Breakup, Human Turtle, Confused after Cancer · Pod Therapy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Here, You're gonna give a fucking arm out of your head.
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: If you knew that, I would in themselves can be
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: anything I would.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: I know, and that's why lottery check them all over.
• 0:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like, what's gonna like at Yeah, you.
• 0:12
  Speaker 3: Never know what that thing is gonna be.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: This kind of ye I'm telling you, it's very just
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: a big old dick just sticking right out of the
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: side of your head.
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: It's like, dude, why do you have to risk it?
• 0:23
  Speaker 4: Man? It could have been anything, just the fucking thumb,
• 0:27
  Speaker 4: some kind of hair, the.
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: Fabulous Las Vegas. No, this is pod Therapy, real people,
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: real problems, and real therapists. Me your questions anonymously pod
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: therapy dot net or email us at pod therapy because
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: at gmail dot com. Broadcasting from the Yes Jay and
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: the Ruckus poincon studio.
• 0:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah is fine, they have boy. Yeah, that's John, that's Whitney.
• 0:55
  Speaker 4: I'm next time for some pot therapy.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Welcome everybody to another exciting episode. It is the summer
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: in Vegas endlessly fucking goes forever.
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: That we are officially in September, which is cool.
• 1:06
  Speaker 5: Off to the nineties next week.
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: Oh thank god for that.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: So when will do all of y'all decorate for fall?
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: Do you do like folloween or do faul Halloween? You
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: you'll wait Untilday, probably in two weeks. I'm going to
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: get that, okay, so mid September.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: You're just see the point of doing it twice, I know.
• 1:22
  Speaker 5: And and my thing is after Halloween. I used to
• 1:25
  Speaker 5: be like, oh well then you go back to fall
• 1:26
  Speaker 5: until Christmas. No, we just go Halloween, okay in December, Yeah,
• 1:31
  Speaker 5: decoration like fall here Okay, Laura has one of those
• 1:34
  Speaker 5: little pumpkins, okay, and she'll just dig that out of closet,
• 1:37
  Speaker 5: sitting on the countertop, and it's like.
• 1:46
  Speaker 4: It's Christmas time. We put the pumpkin away. Of course
• 1:50
  Speaker 4: it's tacky, silly. Yeah, November third, what are we gonna
• 1:54
  Speaker 4: put this?
• 1:55
  Speaker 5: You have all the kids, what do.
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: They go nuts?
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the whole house gets redone. It's a full fall thing.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: They're doing that today. Yeah, they're doing a trip to
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: hobby lobby. And my daughter's in fifth grade and so
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: she loves this ship. My son is a gary He's
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: gonna play video games all day.
• 2:09
  Speaker 4: But yeah, the rest of them, there's your daughter also
• 2:11
  Speaker 4: not care about the oppression that hobby lobby.
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: She hasn't much about it.
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I think she's just a kid in a Yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: we'll ask her.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: Let's explain.
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: We have to explain all this ship first, like what
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: is Christian fascism?
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: Don't get me started on Chick fil a.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah that's right, she also loves Chick fil A. I
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: think she's secretly Christian Fascist. But no, it's really great.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: So they'll do Fall all of September, and then October
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: they'll switch over and do like all Halloween throughout the house,
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: and then November one it starts to go.
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: I think they'll do Fall again.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: Actually, I think she'll start doing Christmas like the week
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: before Thanksgiving.
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: No, no, she won't because we host Thanksgiving, so she waits.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: Okay, I put that Christmas up before cut. Yeah, you know,
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: we wait Friday. That's when you do it. I can't
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: do Christmas decorating at the house anymore because I supposedly
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: apparently make the house look like a dorm room.
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: When I decorate from it feels completely right.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: Christmas lights, Christmas lights, of course you do, of course you.
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I love every bit of this. I love it.
• 3:21
  Speaker 5: It's very funny.
• 3:22
  Speaker 4: Yes, I'm just picturing Laura. For people who don't know Laura,
• 3:26
  Speaker 4: you're just missing out. I'm really experiencing the fullness of
• 3:29
  Speaker 4: these stories. Oh yeah, because scoring in her face once,
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: you could really picture Laura looking at Nick.
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: Take take the just be so underwhelmed.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: Just take them down.
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: I'll do it. I'll do it right later. Pretty much.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: I love it to come to scoop Fest just to
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: meet Laura. Yeah, she usually shows up on the last day.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: It's a good time.
• 3:53
  Speaker 5: And Jacob, what do you'll do for decorations? Are all decoration?
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: She decorates a little bit.
• 3:59
  Speaker 5: Uh.
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: She does like to keep a wreath on the front door,
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: and she does have different reads for.
• 4:05
  Speaker 5: Different seasons throughout the whole year.
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: Throughout the whole year.
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: Uh, I say throughout, like she has I don't know what,
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: five or six of them.
• 4:13
  Speaker 5: Yeah, maybe maybe not even that more than just like fall.
• 4:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah, she has more than two. Okay, uh but yeah,
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: so there's a wreath on the front door.
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: I think all year long. I think she keeps it
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: up there.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: The summer ones just cactus.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just hair dryers. About as fall as it
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: can get. That's that's cool. Well, welcome to the show.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: We've got a couple quick announcements. I don't want to
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: tell a quick story that actually was I wasn't sure
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: if I wanted to do it in Patreon, but I
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: thought it'd be more fun to do it on the
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: main show.
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: But announcement, scoop Best is coming up. That's right, go
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: to Hey scoops does dot com Scoopfest dot com. I'll
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: take you there.
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: That's go over there, get your take us to the scoop
• 4:50
  Speaker 4: Fest and hang out with all of us.
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you get soup. Your discounted room rates at the Orleans.
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: You were telling me the numbers. It's insane. You'll never
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: get to Vegas cheaper at a room, so they do
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: severe discounts at the Orleans. It's a good time, good peoples.
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: That it might be too late to get those discounts now.
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: We'll yeah, but other people benefited.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: Also, don't forget's go to vote Jim dot net every day,
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: every device until mid November. Get them votes in baby,
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: Get Jim over the mountaintop. There's a lot of pretenders
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: trying to seize my crown. We can't have that. So
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: I want to tell a quick ten minute story before
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: we jump into two questions is pretty interesting.
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: Oh man, if you go to vote Jim dot Net,
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: look at this whitney are Yeah, there it is.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: You can see the one button button and then there's
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: the button right under here. Push push it, push it,
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: Jacob push God damn you god damn.
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: That's great.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: Well, informations have the battle, so we'll take it. I
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: met my biological uncle for the first time in my
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: life this weekend. This is on your mom's side, of
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: your mom's side, So I just want to tell the
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: story really quick because it's a fascinating little tale. So
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: she didn't know he existed. Nobody in her family knew
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: this guy existly. He was the first child and he's
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: put up for adoption and they didn't know. Oh so
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: same parents, well, same father, same father, and so this
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: is father having a fling kind of thing before everybody else.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: And you know, they were young and all this stuff.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: So brother was put up for adoption. Nobody in the
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: family knows about this guy.
• 6:23
  Speaker 4: Fast forward to like, did father know about did your grandfather?
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: I guess father. Yeah.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: Grandfather was a bit estranged from the family, and so
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: he didn't really He raised my mom's half sister and
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: like even she didn't know got it. So if he knew,
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: he kept it really close to the vest. He never
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: told anybody, So fast forward all these dees. Maybe he didn't, Yeah,
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: because it was it was kind of a fling thing,
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: but a fling with somebody in town. But yeah, So
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: so he gets put up for adoption as a kid.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: He goes his own direction in life. About five years ago.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: His wife they had had a child late in life,
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: my uncle did, and so his wife was like, hey,
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: you know you were adopted. We don't know anything about
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: your biology. We have a son. You need to like
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: try to do one of those twenty three and meet
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: things like figure out more about you, you know, so
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: we can know things for your son's medical future. Right,
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: So he does it, and he does it through ancestry.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: Ancestry pings because my mom's done ancestry and so is
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: my mom's half sister and they both all three of
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: them will have.
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: The same father. Yeah, it pings, and so he connects
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: with him and he goes, uh, hey, wow, apparently i'm
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: your fucking brother. And so they're like, holy shit. So
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: they all get together. It's about five years ago.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: They all meet and obviously connect and find out what's
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: going on. And he's like, so, is there anything I
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: should know? And they're like, every man on our father's
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: side died of prostate cancer and including dad, Oh you
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: are you are late fifties right now.
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: Whenever he meets them, you need to go check and
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: he goes, oh, that's weird.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: I just got checked and there was a little ping,
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: but they said, don't worry about it. Worry about it,
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: and so they were like, you need to go back
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: and check on that again. So he goes back and
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: he like, he tells his doc like, hey, I just
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: discovered I have a huge family history of this. And
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: doctor's like, you know what, man, I don't still don't
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: worry about it, right why?
• 8:15
  Speaker 5: So he's like okay.
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: So then he goes golfing with his friend.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: His friend happens to be a urologist, and so he's
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: telling his buddy about this, and so his friends.
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: Like, it's better to go to Europe for medical.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: So his friends like, fuck your doctor, come to my clinic.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: We're gonna go ahead and check on this. So they
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: check and turned out the whole time this guy's just
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: been trying to get in your uncles. Yeah, it was
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: all about sex the whole time.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: Dance.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: So his buddy checks and his buddy goes, my man,
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: you have a fucking tumor. And so he's like, we're
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: gonna biopsy this. So they biop see it severe aggressive,
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: and so they're like fuck and his friends he's like,
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: what do I do? And his friend's like, uh, we
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: need to operate on this, and he's.
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: Oh, you're not gonna go back to that doctor. Yeah,
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: his first off, you're done with that guy.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: And he goes, we need to operate on this immediately,
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: and he's like immediately, what the fuck are you talking about.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: He's like, today, if we don't do this in the
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: next three weeks, you're done in the next three years. Yeah,
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: that's where we're So they rush his ass to the
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: o R. They do a whole surgery. Good, they get it.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: Everything was good, Like, his recovery was great. No further chemo,
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: no radiation, they got it all. So he locked me out.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: He really won the lottery on this saved his fucking life. Sure,
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: ancestry dot ancestry dot com and meeting my mother and
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: her her sister saved his life. So now they've been
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: in each other's lives now for a while. So he
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: pings me and he's like, hey, man, I'm coming to Vegas.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: I'd love to meet you for the first time. I'd
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: love to meet your family. And so I was like,
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: that's great. And so I tell my mom, like, hey,
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: my uncle reached out. She's like, oh, well that I'm
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: gonna fly to Vegas too, and I'm gonna meet you
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: or she's met him a million times.
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: They actually live in the same state. But she's like,
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: that's exciting.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: For me that you're gonna meet my new brother, and like,
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: I want to be a part of that. Memories is great.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: So they both came out to Vegas. She was here
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: all week, come to the studio. We were busy, so
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: she already flew out of town. But I met my uncle.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: It turns out he could have brought me some rocks
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: from Florida. I know, Jesus, I'm sick of that ship.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: So I get to meet my uncle. He's here because
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: he's the guitarist for Vertical Horizon.
• 10:25
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: I'm like, what, he's the guitarist for Vertical Horizon.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: And they were doing a concert at Fremont Street because
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: Fremont's doing that downtown rock series where they bring in
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: like say like Toad, the wets, Brocket nine, like they
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: had all these bands and so like they're basically headlining
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: it at fucking Fremont Street.
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: So we hang out. I get to know them all day.
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: It's really cool.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: He brings us to Fremont Street. Uh, my son attends,
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: has a great concert. He brings my son up on
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: stage and ship it was the fucking coolest, gives us
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: VIP passes backstage, the whole business. So it's like fucking
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: so cool. Guy turns out to be a super class act.
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: But if you want to check him out, he's a
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: full time musician. He's a guitarist for Vertical Rising.
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: He's starting his own side projects now, he's got his
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: own Patreon going on. He's launched his own YouTube channel
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: where he's just like a guitarficionado and so like he
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: just gets into music and gets into like guitar stuff.
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: But John Wesley, if you want to look him up
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: John Wesley, find him on Spotify. But yeah, dude is
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: super super talented guy. I'm just like watching my uncle
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: up there just fucking shredding for an hour and I'm like, fuck.
• 11:31
  Speaker 5: Jesus, dude, what am I doing with my life?
• 11:33
  Speaker 4: So yeah, I just like won the uncle lottery. That's
• 11:36
  Speaker 4: pretty fucking cool. Yeah, man, so cool, cool guy.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: Check him out John Wesley officially Jim's uncle. Find his
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: Patreons does kind of look like your mom? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: they definitely have the same time. I can see a
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: super cool guy and in his sixties and still fucking
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: rock star lifing. He's traveling the country on tour right now,
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: and then he's got all these cool projects and doing
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: YouTube and stuff and just the sweetest guy.
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: Man.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: Just we had a great conversation just hearing about his
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: whole life and but yeah, he was like, Jimmy, let
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: me tell you something about your prostatement, ma'am.
• 12:12
  Speaker 4: Down Like, I don't know if you're already getting checked,
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: but you need to do it. And I was like, yeah, no,
• 12:17
  Speaker 4: Ever since I heard about this, I'm pretty on top
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: of it. Uncles though, staying on top of it.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: So this is your reminder to all of our male
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: listeners approaching or over forty. They can just make it
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: part of your annual blood work. It's called a PSA.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: Just ask your doctor to throw it in fuck it,
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: why not? So just get it thrown in and get
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: that check.
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: Man. So I want to start doing the full scan.
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, full the full like cancer screen, get
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: the pan, the full panel. Yeah yeah, why not?
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, especially prostate cancer. Man, It's one of those ones
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: that if they catch it early, you're straight like they
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: will just boo, this is done. We can knock this
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: out in a week, like, no problem. But if if
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: it is not taking care of early, it gets really bad. Yeah,
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: so lethality can get really high.
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: But yeah, that like doing like the full body scan.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: The only downside to that is that there are so
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: many things that everybody has, yeah, that it's just going
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: to light up and then so then it's like, well
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: now we have to explore every one of these things.
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it can be kind of an endless thing.
• 13:13
  Speaker 4: I've got such a weird like uh, like Jim was
• 13:17
  Speaker 4: talking about there, like my my family history with cancer
• 13:19
  Speaker 4: is weird.
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it is weird and storied.
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: It's I'm just like I'm gonna go ahead and start
• 13:25
  Speaker 4: doing it because same kind of deal, Like I assume
• 13:27
  Speaker 4: that I'll get cancer at some point.
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: So it's.
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: Now yeah, and and I think in your position, which
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: is basically on my family history rather everybody more than
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: not enough.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: That's right, so great, give me too much data and
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: I'll sort it out and I'll figure out what I want.
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: To focus on.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's but get get checked, everybody. If your dude,
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: you don't even have to get your butt whole finger.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: You can if you if you want, I've done it.
• 13:48
  Speaker 5: It's necessary.
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: I love now it's weirdly cheaper.
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It used to be more expensive to
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: get your buttthole finger. They're discounting it. Let me tell you.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: If you fly to Portugal, okay, you can get the
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: red carpet treatment.
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: I mean they're really getting the brown carpet treatment. They
• 14:04
  Speaker 4: will work you like a muppet.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: I forgot what I was going to say.
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: Was it the muppy?
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: I think it was.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: You are listening to therapy? All right, we got some
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: great questions for the show today. Let's start with how
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: do I move on? Hey, friends, I'm the writer from
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: episode number three?
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: Hey, can your uncle write us a new jingle? I'm
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: sure he could. Yeah, you want me to talk.
• 14:30
  Speaker 5: To him about that?
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah? I could.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: Just maybe that would be enough to talk me into it.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: If my uncle actually writes a kick care what it
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: sounds like. Yeah, he'll take anything. At this point, he
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: could rock at accordion your shit if they're.
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: On board with.
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: We've been doing this for eight years. Man, we can't
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: just throw this thing away.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: We can.
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: I love it. I we can have to fuck all
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: this all right? Yeah, here we go? How do I
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: move on?
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: Hey?
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: Friends, I'm the writer from episode number three forty eight
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: with the dog Therapist. I never spoke with her again
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: after that appointment, but have grown leaps and bounds with
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: my new therapist. You were all right, Sometimes you just
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: need a change. In that letter, I mentioned having a
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: boyfriend with a dog who didn't clean up after him,
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: no brushing, slow to vacuum hair off the floor, et cetera. Well,
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: we broke up in May, and surprisingly it wasn't because
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: of the dog. For background, my former boyfriend has aden.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: Did help ever keep the dog?
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: I hope you did. Fuck this guy you don't take
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: care of anyway.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: For background, my former boyfriend has ADHD with major emphasis
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: on executive dysfunction. I have perfectionism disorder with resulting low
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: self worth, his inability to keep his home tidy when
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: I would visit or lack of prioritization of doing the
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: things he said he would do, like calling it designated dimes,
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: getting a passport, booking travel, et cetera, perpetuated my feelings
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: that I wasn't worth it or good enough. My other
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: oriented perfectionism left him feeling inept and not wanting to
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: put in the extra effort. After months of slowly drifting apart,
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: both arguing that the other wasn't putting in the effort,
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: we broke up. I was one hundred percent sure I
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: was doing the right thing and breaking up with him,
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: but his reaction had me second guessing myself.
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: He was shocked, hurt, and cried. He asked if we
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: could take a beat to think about things and talk
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: again next week. His belongings were packed in my car,
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: but I didn't press to exchange things at that point.
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: In the month of May, we spoke twice. I expressed
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: contrician for all the ways in which I didn't try
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: or show up the best. Well Paul's for a second. Yeah,
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: she had everything all packed up for him, ready to
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: hand it off and be done with it.
• 16:37
  Speaker 5: Your own place.
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: Oh not like a move out. No, they live in
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: different residents.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: Okay, okay, sorry, sorry. It was like, here's your ship back,
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: but he was like, please give it a p we're
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: talking like a backpacks worth a ship. Yeah, maybe a
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: back seat, maybe a back short stuff. I expressed contrition
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: for all the ways in which I didn't try or
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: show up the best. He listened, but didn't provide the
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: I know I messed up in these ways statements that
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: I was expecting that when they're like.
• 17:01
  Speaker 5: Yes, yes, you're right, thank you for apologizing.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: This is going a long way. Yes, I think this
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: is going well. Yeah, thank you for this. We'll talk
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: again in the future. I also have a few more
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: notes you didn't.
• 17:13
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: Only one of us as a therapist, so I now
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: believe there have to be rules to that type of
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: fighting there. It needs to be a script like couples,
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: do yourself a favor and just just map out some
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: like ground rules for fights your relationship.
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: This needs to be a thing.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry that you hurt your back on our vacation.
• 17:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, that's right, I'm sorry vacation.
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: Vaking.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Patreon dot com slash therapy.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: Only one of us has a therapist, so I now
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: believe it was easier for me to.
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: Access my feelings. He said we could talk again, but
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: he didn't know when.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: Fast forward a few weeks, I reached out via text
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: to tell him I was thinking about it, still loved him,
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: and was holding space for possible reconciliation. He replied that
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: he had been thinking about me too, still loved me,
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: but needed to find his own understanding. He was open
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: at talking, but again he didn't know when. He mentioned
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: returning my things and asked if he could get back
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: with me at a good date and time. I left it,
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: and a few weeks later I texted to ask if
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: I could call him.
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: He was receptive.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: I called, We exchanged pleasantries and asked why he hadn't
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: returned my things.
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: Was he leaving the door open?
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: He mentioned being busy with work, but said he would
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: reach out in a week to coordinate a time for
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: pick up or drop off. I expressed that the breakup
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: had been harder than my past divorce, and he remarked
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: that I should have had a better marriage partner.
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: It's stung, A.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like this doesn't have to do with us, it
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: has to do with how shitty your X was. It's stung,
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: but I was so happy to hear from him. And
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: the overall conversation was good. Fast forward again.
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: It's been one month and nineteen days since I last
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: heard from him. I'm working with my therapist.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: I'm building up my self worth, self compassion, emotional tolerance,
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: and acceptance of things I cannot change. My question is
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: how do I accept that I may never hear from
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: him again? Is it ever appropriate to reach out and
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: just say hi? Was I strung along all this time
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: with promises that we could talk again? Additional background, we're
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: both in our late thirties, we were together for about
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: two years. My pronouns are she and her recently back
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: on the dating apps and trying to move forward. Also,
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: I'm a new Patreon member. Thank you all for what
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: you do for mental health.
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: Signed anonymousmous.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: This is an interesting breakup strategy by the dude that's
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: sort of like, hey, can we can we not officialize this?
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: Can we have time? And now we're doing the breaks,
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: we're doing the not talking. Yeah, And like I think
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: it's so funny, how like I think this. I want
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: to make it a gender thing and say men and
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: women think about this stuff differently, Like whenever she says like, oh,
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: he hasn't returned my stuff?
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: What does that mean? I totally see two girlfriends on
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: the phone being like do you think that means? Like
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: I think it means he's.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: Holding Yeah, that doesn't mean anything.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: And if I was talking to my buddy and if
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: if I was like, bro, do you return her stuff yet?
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: If he was like not yet, I would have no
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: follow up questions. Yeah, I would just be like, yeah, okay,
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: I get it. You good ship to do it don't happen. Yeah,
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: you're not going to sleep.
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: With her again?
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: So what's the hurry?
• 20:15
  Speaker 4: You know, Like if you I'd be like, oh, ship,
• 20:18
  Speaker 4: I do still have that? Yeah that's oh yeah, where's
• 20:20
  Speaker 4: the women are? Like?
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: Hi, I don't know. You know, this is totally a
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: thing like you.
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: Ever lost anything in a break up?
• 20:26
  Speaker 4: Like a where's my ship? Kind of like, hey, that
• 20:29
  Speaker 4: does didn't make its way back?
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: You're not kidding?
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: Never mind he's dated one person.
• 20:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: I had a few excellent very much at a few high
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: school in early college.
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: Exes held out of those cities. I feel like, yeah,
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: you're I feel like the chick is going to keep
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: a hoodie.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: I lost a guitar and an amp.
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: Oh you got robbed? My man?
• 20:49
  Speaker 4: That's just called that is I lost a pair of
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: leather pants. I lost the kid never dated Taiwanese hooker.
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: I lost my all time favorite pair of leather pants,
• 21:00
  Speaker 4: and I'm still mad about it.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: Hold on, I have follow up questions. How many leather
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: pants do you own that you can have a favorite pair.
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: I think I've owned three.
• 21:08
  Speaker 4: Okay at the same time, though probably no more than
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: two at a time.
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: I feel like, okay, I'm better. I feel like if
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: you had a section of the closet which is the
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: leather pants, now, okay, are these the ass list chaps?
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: No, those would be Are they're all chaps? I'm sorry?
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: Oh I didn't know that.
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: Okay, that's what they have in their pants.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: Oh I see. So that's what makes something chaps? Is
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: that what chapped my ass means? Oh my god, you
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: were so much to keep from getting chapped?
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: Oh my god?
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 21:45
  Speaker 4: Wow, Like you put those on because like your legs
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: and your horse while it's protection.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: Thanks Bud, Yeah, I got it. I really appreciate this.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: I'm getting around on.
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: For a host on a show that has a horse
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: as one of its main Yeah, this is true. Like
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: you should know a little something about horses.
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: You're right, Emma, I'm gonna need a little walk through
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: of all the chaps that you wear.
• 22:10
  Speaker 5: I think that's relevant, okay, if I'm getting the whole
• 22:13
  Speaker 5: the whole thing. They broke up. It's kind of like
• 22:17
  Speaker 5: murky and foggy kind of broke up.
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: And then well she was ready, she was ready to
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: sever and walk right. He petitioned for like, can we
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: go into extra endings on it?
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: Let's hold it?
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and she was like, all right, we'll keep it
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: in the gray area for a while, give space. But
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: we're talking weeks turn into months. She's doing all the
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: effort of like hey are.
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: We but she's back on the dating apps now.
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So it sounds like she slowly started to find
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: her way into the zone of like I'm available, like
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: I'm not, but she has message and before me like hey,
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: I'm holding space for you, like I'm still waiting.
• 22:50
  Speaker 4: So she's basically saying like it seems like I'm single now, yeah,
• 22:54
  Speaker 4: but I'm not sure when or how that happened.
• 22:56
  Speaker 5: And what a horrible combination. Unfore fortunately, of like the
• 23:01
  Speaker 5: writer coming in with this low self esteem right like
• 23:06
  Speaker 5: kind of needing more validation, and some people with neurodivergence
• 23:11
  Speaker 5: like this ADHD. This is not this is on point
• 23:15
  Speaker 5: for a lot. So yeah, very on brand, and so
• 23:20
  Speaker 5: I mostly want to kind of just validate and normalize
• 23:23
  Speaker 5: a little bit to the right. It is not your
• 23:26
  Speaker 5: your fault. You aren't doing anything to like keep him
• 23:29
  Speaker 5: from reaching out. This is just kind of out of side,
• 23:32
  Speaker 5: out of mind thing. Yeah, it's a what's that time? Uh,
• 23:36
  Speaker 5: time loss? What's that thing that I'm totally I can't
• 23:38
  Speaker 5: my brain doesn't work right now. Time blindness. Time blind
• 23:44
  Speaker 5: is what I think. This is where it's like you
• 23:47
  Speaker 5: think it's been a couple of days or like maybe
• 23:49
  Speaker 5: a week, Like they just are onto the next thing
• 23:52
  Speaker 5: or doing the next This.
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: So interesting because if I'm the writer, I'm I'm looking
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: to understand the theory of the other mind. Right, you
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: asked for extra time. I'm holding space for you.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: But a lot of where I'm at and where I'm
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: going next is me waiting on what you're gonna do.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: Are you gonna Romeo, Juliet, this thing come kicking down
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: the door, baby, come back. I can change. And so
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: like I'm kind of waiting on you now you're doing
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: ADHD behavior though, like you're doing this not returning my shit,
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: And I'm like talking to my girlfriend, I'm like, does
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: this mean something?
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: Or is this this eighth D shit? And it's like, yeah, no,
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: it's probably just ADHD shit. It's like, well, he hasn't
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: reached out. I'm reaching out to him. Is that a message?
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: Does that mean I'm not on his mind? Does that
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: mean I don't matter? Is he moving on?
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: Or is it just ADHD ship? And it's like she's
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: very aware that the ADHD shit showed up a lot
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: in their marriag or their relationship for two years. So
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: for her that's gonna be such a weird place to
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: be to understand what the meaning of any.
• 24:44
  Speaker 5: Of this is it is. But it's like also, ironically,
• 24:49
  Speaker 5: the thing that led to this breakup is like still casting, Yeah, breakup.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: So then if you're like fuck.
• 24:55
  Speaker 5: This, I know he's just doing it again to you.
• 25:00
  Speaker 5: And so I'm really glad that you're in therapy and
• 25:02
  Speaker 5: trying to work through like building that self esteem and realizing,
• 25:05
  Speaker 5: I your partner isn't a bad person like your ex
• 25:09
  Speaker 5: partner whatever. They're not a bad person. They just they're
• 25:12
  Speaker 5: doing as they can. But yeah, as far as.
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: I might also be a bad person.
• 25:16
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I would say no, but yeah, they're just there.
• 25:20
  Speaker 5: They are them, They're being who they are, and you
• 25:22
  Speaker 5: are realizing, hey, that's not something I want. Our feelings
• 25:26
  Speaker 5: are still there. That's really tough. That's probably why him saying, hey,
• 25:29
  Speaker 5: can we leave this door open? It's kind of what
• 25:31
  Speaker 5: you wanted to hear. You're like, oh, good, you do care,
• 25:33
  Speaker 5: you do want us to be together. But then his
• 25:36
  Speaker 5: actions following up with that, We're not consistent with what
• 25:39
  Speaker 5: he's saying. So it's just another let down that streaming
• 25:41
  Speaker 5: along all of that.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: I think a lot of relationships find themselves in this
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: tricky situation where the person's heart is one place, like
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: they're saying something, they really believe this, they love you,
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: but then their behaviors and their actions constantly communicate that
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: you're not a high priority, like the writer was saying,
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: like and the writer, I think is leaving space four.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: Or I realize I'm distorting a good portion of this
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: because I'm a little perfectionistic, and so I'm magnifying situations
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: and reading into situations that don't require that explanation that
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: I'm not a priority. It could just be that he's
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: absent minded, but that doesn't need to be an indictment
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: on my value to him, and I overly attach to that. Okay, good,
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: do that therapy work. But then it does get difficult
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: sometimes whenever you're looking to somebody, their behaviors and the
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: way they treat you in the relationship are not satisfying,
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: they're not fulfilling. You're giving them notes and saying, hey,
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: I need more, I need more of you, and like
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: in their heart and in these intimate moments, you realize, no,
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: you superprise me, like you really love me, you really
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: value me, but you're just incapable of like performing in
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: this relationship in a way that's good for me. And
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: when I think, when you're in the receiving side of that,
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: that's such a difficult place to be because you're like,
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: I sincerely love this person, and I sincerely think they
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: love me. And the next person might know how to
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: treat me but not really care about me, whereas this
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: person loves me to pieces. And if I can just
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: accept where they're at and what they're capable of, we
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: might be happy. But I'm sincerely never going to be
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: happy with this arrangement. It's just such a tough place
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: to be, you know, because then your heart wants one
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: thing and that that's what they're giving you. But like
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: the felt experience in the relationship isn't sufficient.
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: It isn't working.
• 27:17
  Speaker 5: I just the one little question, is it ever appropriate
• 27:19
  Speaker 5: to reach out and just say hi? No?
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: You think just let it go? Yeah?
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: I feel like appropriate isn't the right world?
• 27:27
  Speaker 5: But yeah, it's not going to say no, it's not appropriate.
• 27:29
  Speaker 5: But like I just think if you're asking, do I
• 27:32
  Speaker 5: reach out and say hi? No?
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: No?
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: Why? Why do it? Yeah? And that's the Yeah, I mean,
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: what's what is the goal? What is it that you'd
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: want to accomplish with that? You know, because because that
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: does send kind of a completely different message, like Okay,
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: I I thought we broke up. Now you're saying, Hi,
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: what are we doing? Rights?
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: And I get where she's at because like there's this
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: desire to sort of ping him to remind him, Hey,
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: by the way I exist, was there anything you wanted
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: to say?
• 27:56
  Speaker 5: Probably their dynamic when they were dating.
• 27:58
  Speaker 4: Yes, also like him in remind him, oh, by the way,
• 28:01
  Speaker 4: you actually broke up with me?
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 28:04
  Speaker 5: This is the way a little confrontation you.
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: Want to be passive aggressive, texting me like happy anniversary, babe.
• 28:11
  Speaker 4: Yes, continue to make plans yeah yeah, Texts parents on
• 28:23
  Speaker 4: special occasions like hey, I just want to let you
• 28:25
  Speaker 4: know happy you know, Mother's Day, like you're great, and
• 28:28
  Speaker 4: happy Harbor Day.
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, just send her cards.
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: And the way the mom calls him was like, hey,
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: I'm confused, like did you guys wrink up or what's
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: going on?
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: Like he's like, oh, fuck, I didn't do that.
• 28:41
  Speaker 5: I knew there was something on my to do list
• 28:42
  Speaker 5: that got pushed to the bottom.
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: Is there a limits or prices for gift exchange this year? Yeah,
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: that's right, doing that.
• 28:50
  Speaker 4: I'm still in the family, White elephant.
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: Actually, you just show up to one of his family events.
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: Just do it.
• 28:59
  Speaker 3: Just do that.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: Oh that's great.
• 29:02
  Speaker 4: Uh not Jim, Whitney and Nick were you got? Sorry
• 29:04
  Speaker 4: Whitney and Chuck, were you guys ever good at Sidney
• 29:07
  Speaker 4: at uh? Breaking up with people? At it? Now? No?
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: I was terrible at it?
• 29:14
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I got version.
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: You seem like the kind of guy who just wants
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: them to break up with you and maybe starts to
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: like just flat tire for a while until you get fired.
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: Like I don't think you're a quitter. I think you're
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: the guy who wants to be fired, like silent, silent quitting, quiet, quitting,
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: quits the relationship. Yeah, he just seems to be golfing
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: three times a day now, Like.
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: No, I think it's just like I'm very sensitive to
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: hurting people's feelings, okay, And so my breakups are a
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: lot like hey, you know, if it's okay with you,
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: I think like I think we should break up time, okay.
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: I mean if you want to stay together, we can't.
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know what's going on with rents, Like.
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's that's pretty much how it went.
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: I'm going to put this up to a group conscience.
• 30:13
  Speaker 5: I feel like in past relationships, once I was like
• 30:16
  Speaker 5: kind of done, I was done, Like once I realized
• 30:19
  Speaker 5: this isn't going like somewhere far, I'm just like okay,
• 30:22
  Speaker 5: well that's that's kind of it. There's not really a
• 30:25
  Speaker 5: revisiting or I don't know, it's like an emotional Yeah.
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: No, I'm not way too though in that sense that
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: like I learned quickly to just pull off the band aid,
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: which I also got.
• 30:38
  Speaker 5: I think, what's the speech, Yeah, this isn't working it's
• 30:44
  Speaker 5: not you, it's me.
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: No, No, I don't even go there.
• 30:46
  Speaker 4: Okay, sorry. Nick has just pulled a card out of
• 30:49
  Speaker 4: his wallet. He's taking his wallet out and he's reading
• 30:51
  Speaker 4: a script and he's just handed it to me. It's
• 30:52
  Speaker 4: a breakup speech. It says, Laura, I know we've put
• 30:56
  Speaker 4: together for a long time. I know that we just
• 30:58
  Speaker 4: got engaged. Yeah, he has two things ready, Yeah, he
• 31:01
  Speaker 4: had two things in our pockets at that hotel that.
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: Night, a ring in one, the break up reads in
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: the other.
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: It's actually just tonight, it's it's a business card. This
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: is uh, this is Dave and hr.
• 31:13
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 31:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, he'll give basketball. It's the Cocks Futility to
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: put V number edible arrangement.
• 31:20
  Speaker 5: No.
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: Yes, my last girlfriend, uh before getting married at twenty
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: years old, so it was very young. I don't think
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: we officially broke up. I think that we were together
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: for like a month.
• 31:32
  Speaker 3: So you're cheating.
• 31:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah, No, I think I'm still with this chick and like,
• 31:35
  Speaker 4: I should probably check in. That'd be so great if
• 31:39
  Speaker 4: connected all of a sudden, and she's like, so, anyway,
• 31:41
  Speaker 4: I know it's been a little while.
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: I know this is awkward, but can you baby, sit
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: to me.
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: I want to shoot you're up to like, you know,
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: I just feel like we just haven't been talking. Let's reconnect.
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: We haven't gone out much lately. We haven't gone out
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: much lately.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: I feel like you're really I feel like you're really
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: just that I feel like we both have dropped the ball,
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: you know. No, we just stopped talking and like I think,
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: like two weeks had gone by and I was like,
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: I think we're just not together anymore. Oh yeah yeah,
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: And so like I just kind of moved on. And
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: then one day there was wedding announcements, and then I
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: think that she was like wait, what, like because I
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: got engaged in two weeks after starting to date my wife.
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: Oh so this was extremely fast. So it's entirely possible
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: that when we got online and we were like, we're engaged,
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: my ex girlfriend.
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: Was like, wait, what the fuck? Like I like, we
• 32:28
  Speaker 3: haven't thought it a couple of weeks.
• 32:30
  Speaker 4: I actually, is it possible to get hold of this person?
• 32:35
  Speaker 4: This person on the show.
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: I have almost an identical story to that exactly, except
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: we didn't get married. But it's like it was the
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: very first person I dated after the divorce. Who you
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: met Whitney because she came over to your house. She
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: was she was a vet.
• 32:52
  Speaker 5: Yes, yes, yes, I liked her.
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: She was wonderful.
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: She was wonderful. But then like she had some shit
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: going on at and like months went by and we
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: would talk every once in a while, and then it
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: just got longer and longer and longer apart and then
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: but there was never any kind of like official well,
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: and we never said that we were exclusive, and there
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: was never anything happened.
• 33:15
  Speaker 5: There's never an official we're dating chat. Then is there
• 33:18
  Speaker 5: an official we're breaking up?
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but then it was it was several months later.
• 33:23
  Speaker 4: I'm going to start having official breakup chats with people, Oh, yes,
• 33:27
  Speaker 4: just because it's never been done, Like, you know what,
• 33:30
  Speaker 4: we never ended up talking about this, and I don't
• 33:32
  Speaker 4: want to be a cad, So I think we should
• 33:35
  Speaker 4: be like people now.
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no want friends with no people I'm friends with.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: Oh you're going to break up conversations with friends?
• 33:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 33:41
  Speaker 5: Oh this is great break up with friends.
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: I think we should see other people.
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 33:46
  Speaker 4: I don't think we should have sex anymore that this
• 33:52
  Speaker 4: whole time, I don't think we should. Okay, I'm a
• 33:56
  Speaker 4: little hurt at.
• 33:57
  Speaker 3: The time of us potentially having sex has pass.
• 34:00
  Speaker 4: Oh, that is a great move. I love everything about this.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: I like this idea. Oh my god, it you should
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: definitely do that. I want you to know it's not you.
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: I've just closed that door in my life with you.
• 34:12
  Speaker 4: I have considered us for a long time potential sexual partner.
• 34:17
  Speaker 5: My god, yes, and I and then you're.
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: Like, and I no longer feel that way.
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: I've changed.
• 34:23
  Speaker 5: Brother, we're back to that again.
• 34:27
  Speaker 4: I didn't say we didn't know the relationships. Well, we
• 34:30
  Speaker 4: were brothers with benefits, but now we're not.
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: I'm decided because you didn't know it.
• 34:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't. I'm not loud about these things.
• 34:39
  Speaker 4: I assumed you saw the way I was giving you
• 34:42
  Speaker 4: the fuck me eyes, you know, like every time we
• 34:45
  Speaker 4: hung out. But I didn't think you're always getting stuck
• 34:49
  Speaker 4: in the washing machine. How deep are the socks in
• 34:57
  Speaker 4: the back of the fucking drop Jesus Christ, industrials, the
• 35:05
  Speaker 4: industrial so weird every time you're cleaning out the garbage
• 35:09
  Speaker 4: just buzzled.
• 35:11
  Speaker 3: Here we go again. My pants seem to be loose.
• 35:14
  Speaker 5: No, I was gonna say, I think sometimes the ambiguity
• 35:17
  Speaker 5: of this it really and I don't know if it's
• 35:19
  Speaker 5: a gender thing either kind of what you're saying, Jim, like,
• 35:22
  Speaker 5: it does fuck with women. I've noticeen my clients so
• 35:26
  Speaker 5: they will date or even kind of what you're saying, Nick,
• 35:29
  Speaker 5: where you are kind of talking to someone and they
• 35:32
  Speaker 5: don't respond. It just fucks with your head and so
• 35:35
  Speaker 5: you're like, wait, so do they like me? Should I
• 35:38
  Speaker 5: try harder? Should I be working on me and make
• 35:40
  Speaker 5: the best version of me? And usually my go to is,
• 35:42
  Speaker 5: like we've said on here before, what helps you feel
• 35:46
  Speaker 5: the most closure? Yeah, the kind of again what Nick said,
• 35:49
  Speaker 5: what's the purpose of reaching out to say hi? If
• 35:52
  Speaker 5: it is to give you closure to say all right?
• 35:54
  Speaker 5: If they do not reach back out or whatever, fine,
• 35:57
  Speaker 5: I feel like you've already done that. You've already you've
• 35:59
  Speaker 5: already tried, and they're kind of giving you your answer now,
• 36:03
  Speaker 5: and that is that they are not going to give
• 36:05
  Speaker 5: you what you want. So you have to kind of
• 36:07
  Speaker 5: move on in the way that feels best for you. Yeah,
• 36:10
  Speaker 5: just leave his ship on his doorstep, and I.
• 36:12
  Speaker 4: Would the symbolic move at some point or like, if
• 36:16
  Speaker 4: it's not even worth it, then throw it away.
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: It'd be oh yeah, absolutely, unless it's a guitar.
• 36:23
  Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, yeah, whoever is leather pants then?
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: Or leather pants?
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: Those are not cheap? No, or at least let him
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: know which good will he can find his ship at.
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: He could purchase it for.
• 36:34
  Speaker 4: A like a nice They weren't like the tight shiny
• 36:38
  Speaker 4: leather pants either, Okay. They were like a loose fitting
• 36:41
  Speaker 4: like matte black leather pants.
• 36:43
  Speaker 5: Okay, like a like a white leg that's fun. Yeah,
• 36:49
  Speaker 5: it sounds very hot right now.
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: It would be too hot right now? Would you wear
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: them with boots? I feel like those good boots, not
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: flip flops.
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: Probably leather pants and flip maybe a nice leather flip plump,
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: some nice linen boat shoes to go with those.
• 37:05
  Speaker 3: Maybe not?
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: Okay anyway, right barefoot, I think by leather pants. Think
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: is where we're at on this, But no, I get it.
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: It's really hard whenever you're getting a message from silence
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: to know where things stand. You know, it's like the
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: job hasn't fired you, but they're not rescheduling you for
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: any shifts, and you're like, I need to know because
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: I do need to decide for my life where I'm
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: going here.
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: I'm taking other applications.
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm starting to interview because I'm not getting any
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: you know, connections over here. So yeah, I mean, if
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: you need to announce that. I mean, I feel like
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: at this point I'm good with you saying hey, I
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: feel like we've been in a gray area for a while,
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: but I do want you to know I am actively
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: dating again.
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: So there.
• 37:42
  Speaker 4: You could even go less direct than that. I mean,
• 37:45
  Speaker 4: you could literally just be like, hey, here's your shit. Yeah,
• 37:50
  Speaker 4: like I'm returning your stuff. Yeah, please leave my stuff
• 37:53
  Speaker 4: in your backyard. You don't have to say anything about
• 37:54
  Speaker 4: the relationship at all. You can just make it a
• 37:56
  Speaker 4: transactional thing at this point and just assume on your
• 38:00
  Speaker 4: your own end it's done.
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and be like, hey.
• 38:03
  Speaker 4: Here's your shit back and if there's anything of yours
• 38:05
  Speaker 4: that you need, get it.
• 38:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I like that.
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: I mean it's a really tough place, writer, but I mean, look,
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: at the end of the day, I'm really glad that
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: you are aware of the things. You know that and
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: each of us has these You just has our little
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: shortcomings and issues that we need to do our own
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: personal work on, and your perfectionism stuff that you're aware
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: of that we can hyper analyze things and kind of
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: like an intuit value where there isn't any worth or
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: value in a situation, and we can take offence where
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: that's not intended. We've got to make sure that we
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: sand down those sharp edges on you, because I want
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: you to be happy, and because if you're bringing that
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: perfectionism on yourself, you're going to falsely assume a lot
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: of messages from partners in the future that are not
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: really there and cause your own suffering. So I'm really
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: glad that you're taking that look in the mirror and
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: you're doing that personal work. But it sounds like this
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: relationship just wasn't sustainable. It sounds like it wasn't compatible.
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: It sounds like you reached your own conclusions that this
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: wasn't going to be where you want to go. That
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: message has been communicated. He asked for extra time. You've
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: been more than fair, and I think during that time
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: you've allowed this thought to linger because you've allowed yourself
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: to stay emotionally available, and you asked, how do I
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: get to a place of closure. I think it starts
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: with resolving in yourself I am no longer keeping this
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: door open, And then I think you've got to tell
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: a friend or tell people in your life, like I
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: know that for me, it feels more real whenever I've
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: communicated to my stakeholders, my community, Hey, I am officially
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: quitting this job. I'm officially doing this thing, and like
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: now I feel like it's real. I've spoken into existence.
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: The people that know me are turning. That page is
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: in my mind. Him is always telling me about his work. Shit, Yeah,
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: I like to update you because that holds me accountable.
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: Makes it feel real, right, Jim, I've never cared about
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: any of it. I don't even know your last name. Yeah,
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: So anyway, writer, I would say that that's a good
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: process to getting to closure and then you know, moving on.
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: I'm a professional chef, you know you never bring it up.
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, And Chris, if you happen to be listening, I
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: would like that guitar back.
• 39:55
  Speaker 3: Patron dot com slash therapy. He's never giving a b
• 39:58
  Speaker 3: send Nick a new guitar.
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: Can take a quick break in when we come back,
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: we're talking about becoming a human turtle. You're listening to
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: pod Therapy.
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: Today's episode is brought to you by Jake Schneider, Leah
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: Richard Macy Sonny Boy thunder scoopame Motherfucker, Sanderman, Waffle, Gabriel
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: dom may Adam Warren, and b day rhymes. Would you
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: like to sponsor the show? Become a thera producer patreon
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: dot com slash therapy alright, in honor of Jim not
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: knowing where chaps came from. Uh, here's a list of
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: trivia of different questions of origins of common phrases or words.
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: All right, Shakespeare, that's all Shakespeare one nothing. All right.
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna skip the first couple because they seem like
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: they're gonna be easy. Jacob, here you go. I want
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: the easy ones. The phrase writing shotgun means to sit
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: in the front passenger seat, originating from what I would.
• 40:56
  Speaker 4: Assume, like, Oh, I guess one of two things.
• 41:00
  Speaker 3: I would think either Old West stage coaches or prohibition.
• 41:08
  Speaker 3: Oh wow, I like both of those answers.
• 41:11
  Speaker 4: Which one do you want to go to get credit
• 41:12
  Speaker 4: for answering one of those things? I am now going
• 41:15
  Speaker 4: to retire from this game. Yeah, stage coaches, Yeah, your crash.
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: So the guy sitting on that side is the one
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: that had the shotgun. Yeah, I knew that, But I
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: first knew that because that was in the movie Wiae.
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: I talked about that because one of them is driving,
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: is like, Okay, you're gonna ride Shotgun because they were
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: they were.
• 41:35
  Speaker 5: The little Shotgun out.
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: Yes, so they were hunting buffaloes very much.
• 41:43
  Speaker 4: Because Tombstone came out at the same time, I was
• 41:46
  Speaker 4: on Team Tombstone, I was.
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: On team We've had this discussion.
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: I actually saw that it's in Netflix right now, and
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: I was gonna watch it only because you've brought.
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: Me yes, and I like it because I like that
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: he wasn't portrayed as a really nice guy and who
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: is he was portrayed as an asshole? Is an asshole
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: And that's probably it is to you because you don't
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: know who is.
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: What a dick uncle.
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: From The Honest Terrible who plays Doc Holliday in whiter Uh.
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: It's oh my god.
• 42:26
  Speaker 4: Anyway, I was gonna say, like his performance his Denzel Willis, it's.
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: It's the guy that played cousin Eddie. It's his brother,
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: Dennis Quaid.
• 42:34
  Speaker 3: Dennis Waide.
• 42:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I think the brothers performance of Doc Holliday unpopular opinion,
• 42:41
  Speaker 4: I think is better than Val Kilmer's agreed that an excellent.
• 42:45
  Speaker 3: Perform and Val Kilma's performance is excellent.
• 42:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't really like Dennis Quaid, but
• 42:49
  Speaker 4: I thought he played that.
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: He doesn't like Dennis Quaid.
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: Tanjamin, Yeah, chuck tape.
• 42:59
  Speaker 5: Ready.
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: The word quarantine comes from the Italian word a fuck.
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: I should have vetted this, Uh, coronta coronta coronta, yeah,
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: meaning bull.
• 43:12
  Speaker 5: Can you spell the word q u.
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: A r A n t a couranta?
• 43:18
  Speaker 3: What does this word mean? As her entire trivia question?
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah? What does it mean?
• 43:22
  Speaker 5: Do I get options?
• 43:23
  Speaker 3: You do?
• 43:23
  Speaker 5: Okay? Options?
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: Did you have a Spanish fourteen thirty forty? And that
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: would be Italian because this comes from the Italian word.
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: Education.
• 43:38
  Speaker 5: Jim, so, I guess it's forty.
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it is forty. Do you know why?
• 43:43
  Speaker 3: Because that's what the fucking word means?
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: Da, because the ships the suspected of carrying the plague
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: were isolated for forty days. Wow, all right, Jim. The
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: phrase turn a blind i comes from which historical figure
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: allegedly ignoring a signal in.
• 44:01
  Speaker 3: Battle, turning a blind eye. He ignored a signal in.
• 44:09
  Speaker 2: Battle, captain blind eye?
• 44:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: Final answer?
• 44:13
  Speaker 3: Can I get an era?
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: Well?
• 44:14
  Speaker 3: You I mean because this could be Sun Sue, you know,
• 44:17
  Speaker 3: or like Napoleon. I mean this is a.
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: Pretty broad do you want to do? You want to go?
• 44:22
  Speaker 3: There's options? You give me options. Yeah, he'll give you options.
• 44:26
  Speaker 3: Thank you.
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: Julius Caesar, Horatio Nelson, George Washington, Napoleon Bonaparte.
• 44:34
  Speaker 3: I'll take Horatio. Yeah, very good in this game. I'm
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: doing it all good today.
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: Okay, that was it. I mean I got more, but I.
• 44:44
  Speaker 3: Think so we're all tied. We all got well. But
• 44:46
  Speaker 3: did you yeah with multiple well you did? You did
• 44:50
  Speaker 3: settle down all.
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: Would argued himself fine, becoming a human turtle from our
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: old pal l e O dare Yeah, Heyali, Hello friends,
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: insert seasonally appropriate salutation here. Well, Happy labor Day, Mack,
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: Happy Peters and mothers birthday, Giving Birthday. I have this
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: bad habit of retreating from my friends and family and
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: spending literal months at a time working alone with little
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: to no outside contact. I'm a long haul trucker, and
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: every attempt to hold down something resembling a normal life,
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: like a place to live, owning a car, having a
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: significant other, regular in person contact with friends and family,
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: et cetera, has fallen apart. I finally wound up homeless again,
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: living out of my semi truck that I rent from
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: my old pre pandemic boss who books me low stress
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: freight that lets me just keep endlessly bouncing around the USA,
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: slowly banging down the mountain of dead I built up
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: during COVID. This should be rock bottom, but I find
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: I'm happy again. I'm good at this and being on
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: my own and my own little space to myself that
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: travels around with me is all I feel like I need.
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: The work is fulfilling, the money is adequate, and my
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: only responsibility is to the next customer. Everyone tells me
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: this shouldn't be good enough, and that this job will
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: probably kill me eventually. I've known exactly one person to
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: successfully retire from this industry, and everyone else has either
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: died in their truck or lost their CDL through poor
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: health or other incidents. I think I might just be
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: okay with it, though I feel a little guilty just
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: pulling back from the world and doing my own thing
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: and not giving a shit about everybody else.
• 46:34
  Speaker 3: But I just don't know how to be any other way.
• 46:37
  Speaker 3: I think it's nice inside my shell, But am I
• 46:40
  Speaker 3: being irresponsible to my future self burning away my precious
• 46:45
  Speaker 3: time on this earth? Just literally spinning my wheels. Sorry
• 46:50
  Speaker 3: for dropping off after so long. I don't know who
• 46:53
  Speaker 3: Whitney is, but she seems cool, So good job to
• 46:56
  Speaker 3: whoever convinced her to hang out with you idiots. Things
• 47:00
  Speaker 3: being here when I got back Ellie, odare pronouns or
• 47:04
  Speaker 3: she and HER's back Elly, Welcome back, Ellie.
• 47:07
  Speaker 5: Nice to meet you, Ellie.
• 47:08
  Speaker 4: Ellie is also recently resurfaced in the scoop community. Was
• 47:12
  Speaker 4: happy to see Ely back on both fronts.
• 47:14
  Speaker 5: Yes, absolutely, that's an interesting concept.
• 47:18
  Speaker 2: Whitney, she didn't know you.
• 47:20
  Speaker 4: I gotta go, Johnny come lately over here.
• 47:24
  Speaker 3: She's best friends with Ellie. God, Damn, Whitney is genuinely
• 47:28
  Speaker 3: going to.
• 47:30
  Speaker 4: Go.
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, not in the corner, Whitney, Jesus, it's a bathroom.
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: It's next to it. God.
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: So I actually came across an Instagram, Uh, probably while
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: sitting on the toilet, but she was It was real
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: and it was just a woman who's a long haul
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: truck driver and it was just her posting about her
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: daily routine. And so she's got a dog and she
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: travels around and she you know, she'll do her work
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: or whatever. Then she gets time kind of by herself
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: and then she'll go to a park or something like that.
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: And so anyway, it made me think of this because
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: you know, Ellie is talking about how people will die
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: in their truck or bad health issues things like that,
• 48:09
  Speaker 2: and I think, yeah, if you don't make time for
• 48:12
  Speaker 2: other things that, yeah, but you could still have that
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: lifestyle and make time to you know, exercise or you know,
• 48:22
  Speaker 2: to you know, if you're buying a national park, go out,
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: you know, take a day, go to the park, you know,
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: spend some time. Get a dog that likes riding in
• 48:29
  Speaker 2: the truck. Yeah, and you know, take and take care
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: of your dog, walk your dog, and you know, there's
• 48:36
  Speaker 2: there's a way to make this lifestyle work. And honestly,
• 48:38
  Speaker 2: if it's it seems to make you happy. So it's
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: kind of like one of those things if if it
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: ain't broke, let's not fix it.
• 48:45
  Speaker 4: A couple so neat, Oh yeah, I think it's great.
• 48:47
  Speaker 4: I've got a couple of family members that are that
• 48:49
  Speaker 4: are truckers, and like it's kind of what Ellie says,
• 48:52
  Speaker 4: like I don't hear from them for a while and
• 48:56
  Speaker 4: then like all of a sudden, randomly, out of Tuesday,
• 48:58
  Speaker 4: I'll get a text and be like, Hey, I'm coming
• 49:00
  Speaker 4: through Vegas on Thursday.
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: Want to meet up and grab lunch? Yeah?
• 49:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah, right, And then we meet up, we have lunch,
• 49:06
  Speaker 4: or sometimes I'll even just like go over to the
• 49:08
  Speaker 4: truck stop, right and just and just meet them at
• 49:10
  Speaker 4: the truck stop and we'll just hang out in the
• 49:12
  Speaker 4: cab and they're chat for a little while.
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: There are so many professions that I think they are
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: an entire lifestyle. I think they do attract us a personality. Pilots,
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: people that are career military and you know, getting deployed
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: every few years, like they just podcasters.
• 49:29
  Speaker 3: Even the entertainment industry.
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: You know, like whenever you make friends in Vegas and
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: they work in the entertainment industry, professionally, they're not available
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: on the weekends, right, that's just never going to happen.
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: Like they're always going to have shit going on the
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: weekends in the evenings. That is the lifestyle that they're in.
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: And like it's interesting how for many people though their
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: career life suits their personality. And for Ellie to say, look,
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: I don't. I'm kind of a little bit of a hermit.
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: I am kind of to myself. I like not having
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: an entire space somewhere that I pay to keep up,
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: that I never live in, that I'm supposed to go
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: camp out in. Like I sort of like a minimalist
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: lifestyle where my whole life is this truck and I'm
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: just moving from A to B. I don't have other obligations.
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: I don't have all these extra things that take care
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: of like, oh no, did I pay the electric bill?
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: Like no, I'm just in this cab, and like I'm
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: just very much living like state of mind right in
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: front of myself. I mean a lot of these sounds
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: liberating in some ways.
• 50:25
  Speaker 4: But when people have a lot going on in life,
• 50:27
  Speaker 4: the advice that they're often given is, you know, kind
• 50:31
  Speaker 4: of narrow your scope. Yeah, you know, get it down
• 50:34
  Speaker 4: to a manageable scope. And I mean it seems like
• 50:37
  Speaker 4: Ellie has kind of done that naturally.
• 50:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: This kind of speaks to, I think a larger issue
• 50:41
  Speaker 2: of like societal expectations over what makes someone happy. Yeah,
• 50:46
  Speaker 2: kind of this idea of like cool, I'm cool. Yeah,
• 50:48
  Speaker 2: Like you know, like okay, well you you are expected
• 50:51
  Speaker 2: you need to get find somebody and get married. Once
• 50:53
  Speaker 2: you get married, you have to have children. And once
• 50:54
  Speaker 2: you get children, then you have to do all these
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: other things. It's like, well why, I mean, if these
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: aren't things that you're into and this is what makes
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: you happy, then you shouldn't have to do that.
• 51:03
  Speaker 4: By the way, if you've ever wondered what expectations are
• 51:05
  Speaker 4: put on Nick on any kind of regular basis, I
• 51:07
  Speaker 4: think you just heard them.
• 51:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they have listed them all out.
• 51:11
  Speaker 2: If you're going to decorate, don't make it look like
• 51:13
  Speaker 2: a goddamn dorm room.
• 51:16
  Speaker 5: The dorm room Christmas.
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: Which this question of authenticity though, goes along with decorated,
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: because like, I feel like some of the social prescription
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: is exactly we just said, Nick, because we tell you, oh,
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: you're going to wake up one day and it'll been
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: ten more years in.
• 51:30
  Speaker 3: The truck, and what are you gonna have to show
• 51:32
  Speaker 3: for it?
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: And it's like, well that that implies that the rest
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: of us are going to have everything that we've been
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: building for the next ten years, Like your marriage is
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: going to be here in ten years, like your kids
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: are gonna be talking to you. It turns out we
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: all kind of end up alone.
• 51:47
  Speaker 4: That goes with it too. It's like, oh, you'll see,
• 51:48
  Speaker 4: you'll see you know, if you don't have these things,
• 51:51
  Speaker 4: You're gonna be You're gonna be miserable one day, you'll see.
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: It almost is like we need to validate our choices
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: because you found a g code where you do not
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: deal with the stress that the rest of us dealing
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: with you. Your your life is as stressful as what's
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: the traffic conditions on this road?
• 52:05
  Speaker 5: Right?
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: And then is my podcast Q like lined up? Like
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: do I have all my podcasts and audiobooks ready to go?
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: That actually sounds kind of nice.
• 52:13
  Speaker 4: That's I'm sure there's more to life than that. Like
• 52:17
  Speaker 4: you still you still have to deal with life. But
• 52:19
  Speaker 4: at the same time, who gives a ship? Like if
• 52:21
  Speaker 4: you're if you're happy doing it, then be happy doing it.
• 52:24
  Speaker 4: And then and it sounds like you're going into it
• 52:26
  Speaker 4: with open eyes, right, And I think that's the only
• 52:28
  Speaker 4: important part. And like as a as a as a friend,
• 52:31
  Speaker 4: as someone who has known you for a little while. Now,
• 52:34
  Speaker 4: like I would say to any of my friends, I
• 52:36
  Speaker 4: would just say, like, as long as you know what
• 52:38
  Speaker 4: you're doing, right, and as long as you understand where
• 52:42
  Speaker 4: this goes, and like, is is a goal of yours retirement?
• 52:46
  Speaker 3: If a goal of yours retirement let's start figuring that
• 52:49
  Speaker 3: out right.
• 52:49
  Speaker 4: Let's let's see how take it down your debt, that's
• 52:51
  Speaker 4: it make a lot of life progress, and how we
• 52:53
  Speaker 4: can angle this into retirement. Yes, do you have any
• 52:55
  Speaker 4: idea how many of my friends would like to be
• 52:58
  Speaker 4: able to say I'm paying down on my debts?
• 53:01
  Speaker 5: Oh my god? So many?
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: Yes, so many and not having any overhead, Like you're
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: just you're you're living in your job basically, and like
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: that makes a lot of sense for a lot of people.
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: Like there's people that take temporary seasonal jobs and like
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: do buy you know, like teach English in China for
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: like six months whatever, and just like live in an
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: employment housing kind of thing and just attack debt and
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: get their lives right. So I mean Ellie's doing. I
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: think things that we would argue are actually really responsible
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: and like are good for future choices if you want
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: more options on the table in ten years and if
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: anytime you get sick of your job, then you're like, Okay,
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: I'm done driving. I've saved up some money. I think
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: I want to take a different thing, Like I want
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: to have a local circuit where I just drive between
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: La and Vegas.
• 53:42
  Speaker 4: And I'm gonna get a condo, and like, are you're
• 53:44
  Speaker 4: saying that you're bad at kind of those normal life things,
• 53:48
  Speaker 4: you know, having having the condo, having the having the
• 53:50
  Speaker 4: electric bill, owning cars, you know, that kind of thing.
• 53:53
  Speaker 3: But it's also just practice.
• 53:55
  Speaker 4: Sure, I don't it doesn't seem like you've had a
• 53:58
  Speaker 4: ton of practice at those things, right That's that's just
• 54:01
  Speaker 4: part of it. And having a reliable income and everything
• 54:04
  Speaker 4: to make those things a little more stable, that's part
• 54:08
  Speaker 4: of it. And if it sounds like your most reliable
• 54:10
  Speaker 4: income means that you're not with those things, yeah, so
• 54:13
  Speaker 4: like that, that does definitely throw a kink into trying
• 54:16
  Speaker 4: to figure that part of life out. But if you're
• 54:18
  Speaker 4: not interested in that part of life right now, cool.
• 54:21
  Speaker 3: Well.
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: And I remember years ago Ellie uh had shared with
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: us that and and this is all public, this has
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: all been in the show, but Ellie's trans and and
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: like Ellie's talked in the past about how this career
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: was such a blessing because especially and you know, I
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: want to believe our global society has gotten better and
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: better with prejudice and treating people correctly. Yeah, I know, yeah,
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: especially during this you know, the trump eras and stuff
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: where like all this scary stuff's happening, and like any
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: institution that's ever touched DEI is being attacked and like
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: having to like I mean like having an independent like
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: financial source where you're sort of just working for yourself.
• 54:58
  Speaker 3: You work for one person, You just do do your job.
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: You're not interacting with the world, so like you're always
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: in a safe place and like you're just doing I
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: know that Ellie's talked in the past about how that
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: is a real blessing. Oh yeah, and like has given
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: a lot of security that other people, you know, in
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: that situation do not experience.
• 55:13
  Speaker 3: So I could see this.
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: I think again, I think we're all singing the same song,
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: except for Whitney who had to go.
• 55:18
  Speaker 5: Pee that you established a pea corner.
• 55:20
  Speaker 3: Of Yeah, okay, you mark your territory, O Dwight in
• 55:24
  Speaker 3: the elevator.
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: I love this for you. I think if you're happy,
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: we're happy. And I think that if you decide later
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: that your values have changed and you want new experiences
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: in your life, or you want long term friendships, or
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: you find this is no longer making you happy, then
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: I think you re evaluate and you make a life change.
• 55:39
  Speaker 2: There.
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: But I don't think you need to make these ten
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: year friendship investments to find people in your fifties to
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: be friends with. Like you could just stop what you're doing,
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: go and socialize at that stage of life and you'll
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: meet people, make friends, and have family connections at that
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: point or date.
• 55:54
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I think going against well and hearing you mention
• 55:57
  Speaker 5: the elis trans I mean they've probably already gone through
• 56:00
  Speaker 5: this where they've gone against the grain of what society
• 56:03
  Speaker 5: tells us we quote should do.
• 56:06
  Speaker 3: If you had been around Whitney, you'd already know that
• 56:08
  Speaker 3: about Ellie.
• 56:09
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I didn't want to be part of this. I
• 56:11
  Speaker 5: was scared then here I am. But I remember after
• 56:18
  Speaker 5: finishing grad school, I'm Peter and I moved to Costa
• 56:22
  Speaker 5: Rica for a year and one of the responses my
• 56:26
  Speaker 5: dad gave up the time was the oh, well, are
• 56:28
  Speaker 5: you wasting your degree? You know that you just thought
• 56:31
  Speaker 5: and on my list was I'd love to live in
• 56:34
  Speaker 5: another country and learn another language, and so I was like,
• 56:36
  Speaker 5: this is my opportunity to accomplish something like that. We
• 56:39
  Speaker 5: don't know how much time we have on earth, so like,
• 56:41
  Speaker 5: you really have to do what feels best for you
• 56:45
  Speaker 5: and the world will constantly be telling you you should
• 56:48
  Speaker 5: be doing things a certain way. I think, like what
• 56:51
  Speaker 5: Jim said, they're projecting their own it's about them when
• 56:54
  Speaker 5: they say that, they're projecting their own insecurities or validation
• 56:57
  Speaker 5: onto you. Like, Oh, well, if you aren't doing it
• 56:59
  Speaker 5: the way I'm doing it, then I must be doing
• 57:01
  Speaker 5: something wrong. And I don't want to think I'm doing
• 57:03
  Speaker 5: something wrong, So I'm gonna tell you to do it
• 57:05
  Speaker 5: my way, like so we can all be right here.
• 57:08
  Speaker 5: But yeah, I think that just like all the guys,
• 57:11
  Speaker 5: all the boys said, I, I think that's wonderful that
• 57:14
  Speaker 5: you found something you really enjoy. The other thing I
• 57:17
  Speaker 5: thought about, too, was on my I know y'all are
• 57:21
  Speaker 5: going to make fun of me for this. On the
• 57:22
  Speaker 5: flight home, I watch my favorite movie, Pride and Prejudice.
• 57:26
  Speaker 3: Oh wow, did you watch Pride Prejudice and Zombies?
• 57:29
  Speaker 5: No? I don't know what that.
• 57:30
  Speaker 3: Is, but it's a different movie.
• 57:34
  Speaker 5: Okay, No, The Cure and Nightley just classic. It's I
• 57:38
  Speaker 5: just love rewatching it. And I think it's because I
• 57:42
  Speaker 5: love time period like movies because it's so simple, right,
• 57:46
  Speaker 5: It's so simple. I don't think the world was better
• 57:48
  Speaker 5: than or anything I just I love watching that simplicity
• 57:51
  Speaker 5: and the.
• 57:52
  Speaker 3: Plot structure of those types of movies.
• 57:54
  Speaker 4: Yich for you, right, Yeah, it's like slow the society
• 57:57
  Speaker 4: has one hundred people in it.
• 57:59
  Speaker 5: Right exactly, and thinking about like, oh am I waste
• 58:03
  Speaker 5: kind of like wasting these years or it's dangerous or whatever.
• 58:07
  Speaker 5: I think back to then where it's like women in particular,
• 58:12
  Speaker 5: you know, oh do you do you play the piano forte?
• 58:15
  Speaker 5: Or do you kN or do or like embroider or
• 58:17
  Speaker 5: some shit, Like they're just sitting around right doing fucking
• 58:20
  Speaker 5: nothing because.
• 58:21
  Speaker 2: If you were part of that class, there was nothing
• 58:25
  Speaker 2: to do.
• 58:25
  Speaker 5: There's nothing to do, You're just chilling. And so I'm like,
• 58:28
  Speaker 5: we're those people wasting their life, Like who are we
• 58:31
  Speaker 5: to say that? And so they're just living like all
• 58:34
  Speaker 5: of us are just living.
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: We're touching on something I think that I see in society,
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: and I wonder if y'all would agree. There seems to
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: be this like complexity bias where it's like if you've
• 58:43
  Speaker 1: found happiness and you've shunned certain things that society told
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: us we're supposed to have, like the search for money,
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: Like if you found your little life and you're late
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: happy and be like, why are you trying to get
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: a promotion? Why are you trying to why aren't you
• 58:56
  Speaker 1: having more have some kids? Yeah, why don't you do this?
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: And it's like, is why to society fucking hate that
• 59:02
  Speaker 1: somebody can just get to their space. They're happy, everything's good,
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: and they don't need to add more complexity to their system.
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: They don't want to be partnered, they don't want a kid,
• 59:12
  Speaker 1: they don't want a promotion, they don't want to rise
• 59:13
  Speaker 1: in the ranks, they don't want more money, they don't
• 59:15
  Speaker 1: need more responsibility, don't give a fuck what kind of
• 59:17
  Speaker 1: car they drive.
• 59:18
  Speaker 3: They're not trying to get you know this next. They're
• 59:20
  Speaker 3: just fine.
• 59:21
  Speaker 2: I think, yeah, because sometimes it's hard for people to
• 59:23
  Speaker 2: see because something is so important to them right that
• 59:28
  Speaker 2: they think, well, if you don't see how important this
• 59:30
  Speaker 2: thing is, right, then something's wrong with you. Yeah. I's
• 59:33
  Speaker 2: opposed to being just like, yeah, it's just not important,
• 59:34
  Speaker 2: because the only other option is there's something wrong with
• 59:36
  Speaker 2: my life right.
• 59:37
  Speaker 1: Because I'm unhappy, but at least I'm making progress, right.
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: And it's like this relentless pursuit of complexity in progress
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: seems to be a Western ideal that I'm sure in
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: other ancient societies, like if you're in ancient China or somebody,
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: that I'm sure that it was there was a different
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: set of like social obligations that it was curious if
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: you were shunning. Yeah, and like in our day and time,
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: it's this, it's this like worship of progress, complexity, aspiration.
• 59:59
  Speaker 3: Everybody's supposed to be.
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 5: That's interesting, it's interesting.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 2: I also kind of think of like because I think
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 2: of my parents generation. You know, like you worked hard,
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 2: you had a job, and you stick with that job
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 2: for exactly and then whatever job wherever you started, you
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 2: end up retiring with that same job, right. You know.
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 2: It's like yeah, because at that time, you know, the
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 2: the CEO was only making twenty times goes into the system,
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 2: and so it's like, yeah, so it was a great system.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 3: Today is enjoyed the democratic social kind.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 2: Of you kind of had like the perfect mix and yeah,
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 2: that that lifestyle worked perfectly for the system in which
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 2: you lived in. And they don't realize that the system
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 2: has completely changed. But now they're under they don't. Now
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 2: they're wondering like, well, why aren't you copying the same
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 2: formula that we used and it's like, because that formula
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 2: is no longer applicable. Yeah, it's antiquated, it doesn't work anymore.
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 4: I support myself through college with a fifteen hour a
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 4: week job, right yeah, yeah, that pays me eight dollars
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 4: an hour.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 2: Like that.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 3: That's not enough to work through college and get an education.
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And so then it's like this this idea that like, oh, well,
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 2: if you're struggling, it's because you didn't copy my formula.
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 2: Right right, My formula works. I've proven it works. All
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 2: you have to do is copy it. Yeah, And so
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 2: it's like you're avocado toast. Yeah, he sucked it all up.
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 5: But as simple asn't successful. And it sounds like Ellie
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 5: found a way to be successful in her own eyes.
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 1: And so it's like, honestly, there's a lot of people
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: aspiring right now to reach this philosophical point and build
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: a life where they've achieved happiness and balance and peace
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: and it's sustainable. But in order to do that, you
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 1: are going to have to release your desire for other things,
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 1: for more levels of complexity. It's kind of a Buddhist principle,
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: but I think it flies in the face of an
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: entire culture of Western capitalism, and honestly, our culture of
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: seek complexity, seek progress is necessary in a hyper capitalistic society.
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: You need that to be the narrative because then you're
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 1: always buying another coke or pepsi to be happy, and
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: you need another car, need to We need consumers, nobody
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 1: to be happy. Don't buy pepsi. Yeah, but you need
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: everybody to be a consumer, and so you need everybody.
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: You're not happy, be going back to the well seeking happiness.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: You found happiness, ellly, so fuck the world, fuck society.
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 5: Don't buy pepsi.
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: Don't buy pepsi, yeah, you know, and just live your
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: little turtle life. I mean, you're happy, and the day
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 1: comes that you realize you're not, or you realize this
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 1: job is no longer good for my health and my needs.
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: Then you make an adjustment to life and maybe you
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 1: see that coming twenty four months ahead of you know
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 1: when it needs to happen, and then you start making
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: incremental changes in your life. You stay in the industry,
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 1: but you take more of a desk job or whatever.
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 1: You become a booker. Like maybe things like that can happen.
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 1: So I think you're fine.
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 2: Honestly, it sounds like a pretty sweet gig.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 5: Yeah, Vegas, she has before.
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I've actually thought about this, like it would
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 2: be kind of nice to have that freedom and be
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 2: like a long haul.
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 4: I would say twice a year, I fan, I go
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 4: looking up trucker jobs and I think, like, could I hypothetically, you.
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: Know, because it's like you're.
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 3: Like, I'm just I'm ab responsible. I'm still I.
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 2: Want to do a long haul truck driving job, as
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 2: long as that long haul is just from here to
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 2: La Joya.
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, I don't want to.
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 2: Go to.
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 4: I just want the job to be driving seven hours
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 4: to the coast, loading up with the goods from China,
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 4: driving back in, putting it on a train, Like I
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 4: just want a route.
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 3: You know?
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 5: He really quick? Does anyone else just stare and watch
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 5: when truckers are like backing into those space like anywhere
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 5: when they're parking, I'm just like, how the fuck do
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 5: they switch moved? Like how do they maneuver that thing?
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 2: Go to like theater loading docks?
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 5: Okay?
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 4: Watching them get into like even more complicated areas and everything.
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 2: It's a way. Honestly, I think the worst part about
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 2: it would just be other people.
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 3: Like what it always is.
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I would love to do a long haul truck
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 2: and drive that, except other people on the road already
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 2: annoy the ship out of me. And if I was
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 2: in a truck and like had to deal with all
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 2: that bullshit, it's.
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 5: Like one way or another, people are their assholes to
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 5: try and like get over and cut you off because
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 5: they're like, oh, the truck's way back there, when you're like,
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 5: I only have so much breaking space. But I know
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 5: that the other end I do see often are people
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 5: giving truck space. And I was like, yeah, I love
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 5: when we work together to help that truck get over
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 5: everyone's slowing down, Like I.
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 3: Give that truck space because he will hit me.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 5: So yeah, if he doesn't see me, hits me natural
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 5: concert I'm.
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 2: Still getting Honestly, I won't even notice.
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you'll be dead a long time before he noticed that.
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 1: And this month we're going to have him down at
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 1: the DMV to do the the pretest and s up
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: to get the learners permit. So we're we're looking at
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 1: these driving schools to put them in as well to
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 1: get them some extra training. There's this one that they
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 1: take you down to the racetrack, and they they actually
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 1: get you in a truck, a semi truck, and you
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 1: get to ride in the truck so that you can
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 1: understand how little they can see, you know, where the
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: blind spots of the truck are great, and they make
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 1: you go at full.
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 3: You can get this. If you can't see my mirrors,
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 3: I can't see you. Yeah.
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 1: And so they teach the kids like, hey, this is
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 1: what this person is dealing with. So from now on
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 1: when you're driving, you need to be thinking the way
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 1: they think, and you to put yourself where they need
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: you to be.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's really cool.
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 1: And they also like hoose down the track and teach
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 1: them how to fishtail and correct out and stuff.
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 2: So we had to do that.
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 3: That's really cool. Yeah.
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 2: So yeah your driver, Yeah, I mean yeah then uh yeah,
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 2: we just had parallel because we had I mean, we
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 2: had you know, like snow and ice.
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 5: Yeah, they're like great, Like if you can't.
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 2: See the bottom of that water, don't drive into it.
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 4: There remember that advice advice the car will float away
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 4: because the gators will float away.
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 3: Because of the gators.
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 1: They will kiss you Ellie, welcome back. It's so good
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 1: to have you be a turtle, Ellie, be happy. I
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 1: just I'm happy for you that you've resurfaced that your
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: yea live your best site like whatever makes you.
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 4: If it's making happy, it's it's uh, you'll helping helping
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 4: life and helping move forward, like kind of what else
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 4: is there?
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you've you've figured out the hack. You've got the
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 1: life code, so just live your damn life. We're going
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 1: to take a quick break and when we come back,
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 1: we are talking about a mother feeling confused after beating cancer.
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 1: You're listening to pod there.
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 3: I really thought you were gonna say her kids. Yeah.
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 2: Episode it has brought to you by Jake Schnider, Richard
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 2: Boy Scoop, Slurpika, motherfucker, Sander Mcwafflelena Gabriel, Adam Warren and
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 2: he gave crimes and if you like sponsors, become a
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 2: Producerton dot com Slash two one. Here we go, Jacobs
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 2: in the league. All right. Uh, the phrase kick the bucket,
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 2: meaning to die, likely came from.
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 4: What huh My first thought was about mules, but that's
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 4: probably not it.
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 3: Let's hear some options.
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 2: If about mule, it's gonna be great. A medieval mule
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 2: not a mid evil execution method. Okay, pigs being slaughtered.
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 5: While like suicide.
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 2: Pigs being slaughtered while hung from a beam called a bucket.
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 2: That's good, old ship shipboard slang for falling overboard. Miners
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 2: dying in cave ms with buckets nearby. The last one
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 2: feels like a wretch? Does that one? I think it's
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 2: the hanging one.
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 4: I think it's the kicking the bucket out from under
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 4: somebody while they're being hanged.
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 3: That feels right.
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 2: Where was that one?
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah? No, no, passes to whitney man. That was the
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 3: That was the money answer.
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 5: I liked that one with pigs.
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 2: Pigs being slaughtered while hung from a beam called a bucket,
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 2: old shipboard slang for falling overboard.
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 4: Next right, No, wow, so I'm down to pigs pictures,
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 4: Oh my gosh.
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 2: Fuck, let's go with the miners thing point for neck
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 2: the slaughtered a bucket es.
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 4: I almost went with that one just because of the
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 4: I was like, that is such a specific.
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 3: Thing to call a beam a bucket.
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a made up thing.
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 3: That's a weirdly specific made up.
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 1: Also a thing you cannot kick because it is by
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 1: definition definitely not where you go. Yeah, that is, they're
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 1: hung upside down. I don't want to hear your excuses.
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 1: People have spoken, all right, I'm.
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 3: Sorry, I'm sorry.
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 2: Is the correct right? Thank you? Thank you for correctly.
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 3: I got a.
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 5: Point, Whitney.
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 2: The word sandwich is named after the Earl of Sandwich,
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 2: who did what? Oh man, I didn't come up with
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 2: it the earl.
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 4: I feel like I know he's been.
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 2: He loved eating bread with fish. He doesn't needed a
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 2: quick meal during gambling sessions. Who doesn't popularized street food
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 2: in London? Who doesn't or traveled wildly widely and copied
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 2: medieval Eastern Sorry, god damn it, I can't Middle Eastern flatbreads.
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 5: I could say or be what was a again.
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 2: I loved eating bread with fish.
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 5: I'm gonna say that one.
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 2: No, damn, I.
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 3: Think it's the gambling one.
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 2: Needed a quick meal during gambling sessions.
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 3: I remember this.
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 1: I thought the story was this guy had done it
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 1: for social engagements, And that's the only one that seems
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 1: like a social engagement related one.
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 3: So I'm gonna go with that, correct Yes, all right,
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 3: all right?
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 2: Oh this one, I know, Jim. The phrase sleep tight
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 2: comes from what historical practice?
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 3: Oh?
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 5: Crst oh I know this one. I think sleep can
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 5: I guess.
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 1: Well, all right, I'm gonna take a shot in the
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 1: dark to keep it interesting, all right. I think it's
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 1: the thing where they would put you in a sleep
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 1: sack and they would sew you in.
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 3: This is what I was saying, and I'm sure there
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 3: were several reasons to do this.
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 1: The one that I've seen in a movie was from
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 1: The Patriot, where they do that so that you don't
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 1: go fuck this guy's daughter if you're sleeping over.
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 3: So, yeah, we will.
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 1: House you if you're a soldiers something like that, or
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 1: if you're a wanderer or you're a traveler. But the
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 1: deal is we're sewing you in a bag up to
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 1: the neck so that you're not popping out, hurting anybody,
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 1: or doing anything weird.
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 2: Not realizing there's a lot of stuff we can do.
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 2: You can do with your mouth.
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and your daughter is a freak.
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 3: Put me to work.
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 4: That's my guess, well thought out, but no, take options.
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 3: I will take.
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 2: Options, okay, sleeping with arms wrapped tight for warmth, laced nightcloths,
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 2: ropes holding up mattresses that needed tightening, tightly shut windows
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 2: to keep bugs out.
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 3: No, maybe that. I mean that last one. That last
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 3: one seems plausible too. I'll go a no, Wowa.
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 5: I wasn't.
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 2: Tight laced night clothes, ropes holding up mattresses that needed tightening,
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 2: or tightly shutting windows to keep bugs out.
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 3: I mean the bugs ones yet realistic?
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 5: Really, I feel like see.
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 4: Okay, yes, you're correct. Wow, I had ropes that needed
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 4: to be tightened.
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 5: I feel like that's something I'm like, I to my
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 5: mattress to fall so sleep tight.
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 4: Okay, all right, wow, all right, Well I'm in the
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 4: winner circle. I think mother confused after beating cancer.
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 1: I think it would have been true if you had
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 1: gotten that question. Yeah, then I would have been smoking everybody. Hey, guys,
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 1: my mama Carol was diagnosed with breast cancer earlier this year.
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 1: I've worked hard to cheer her through her surgeries, infection setbacks,
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 1: and I drove from Chattanooga at five am on Monday,
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 1: August twenty fifth to Lexington, Kentucky to see her take
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 1: her last radiation treatment. At nine am, she rang the
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 1: bell as she is cancer free, and I thought all
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 1: was great, and we took pics and we celebrated. However,
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 1: she is now lost and confused. With her new clean
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 1: bill of health? How can I support her with her
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 1: new clean bill of health? Thanks for the advice, Andrea.
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 5: I have thought about this, Okay, the weird feeling if
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 5: you go through something as traumatic as you're about to die.
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 5: I might die from this, and then like immediately after,
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 5: I think as you process, like your your mentality can shift,
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 5: but immediately after just I don't know, Like how do
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 5: you function? Are you just you're not like, yay, I'm
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 5: I have my.
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 3: Life to allow yourself to hope.
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 1: Like the whole time, you're probably like, don't don't look
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 1: out that window, don't believe, just stay focused.
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 4: I think it's less that, honestly, I think it's less
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 4: the I'm not hoping and more this is.
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 2: Just what I've been doing right. Nothing else is just
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 2: the habit of it.
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 4: Like I'm waking up every day I'm thinking about like
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 4: I've got to I've got to take pills. I've got
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 4: to I've got to make sure to do all this
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 4: regimen correctly. I've got to make sure that these appointments
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 4: are Now.
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 5: You don't have to worry about any of it.
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 4: That's it, Like if nothing else, it's just such a
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 4: dramatic change in what you have to do in your
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 4: day to day.
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 5: Oh okay, this is a horrible comparison, but I feel
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 5: like a comparison is like if you're buying a house,
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 5: you spend all like months and months you're like looking
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 5: on Zilo. You're talking to your realtor you're like, all right,
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 5: I need to think of this many bedroom this right right,
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 5: look looking, I'm looking, and then you buy the house
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 5: and you're like, oh, I guess, I mean, I guess
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 5: I don't need Zillo anymore. Like I'll just take that off,
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 5: like it was a part of my routine, Like every
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 5: night I'm looking at these things like that.
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 2: What yeah, I was kind of thinking even like uh,
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 2: you know, hearing people retiring from the military or like
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 2: returning from duty. Now it's just like, yeah, my job
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 2: when I was in Iraq was to do X, Y
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 2: and Z and people's lives depending on that. And then
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 2: you come home and it's like all right.
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 4: Well similar though it is, like my job in Iraq
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 4: was to get up at six hundred.
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 3: It was to then go eat, like like I had
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 3: my job.
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 4: The necessity of my task forget about military because military
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 4: like it it makes it. It really step steps out everything.
• 1:15:08
  Speaker 4: But I mean just four people doing any kind of
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 4: any kind of work.
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 5: Off.
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 4: I get up every day, I go to work at
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 4: eight o'clock. I come home at five o'clock. That that
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 4: is what I do. Now I'm retired, I've got this
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 4: block of time in the middle of my day. I
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 4: simply don't know what to do with It.
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 1: Is such a life shift. I mean, you think about golf.
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 1: It takes a long time, that's right. You think about
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 1: like I think we're talking about like phase of life shifts,
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 1: buying that house, changing careers, coming back home from the military,
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 1: empty nesters, you know, like things where your life looked
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 1: one kind of way for so long, and there was
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 1: this regimented mentality of like wake up, do thing, do thing,
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 1: do thing, and then you get to the end and
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 1: it's like, oh my god, you must be so relieved,
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 1: it must be so good. And it's like, sure, yes, yes,
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 1: eventually I will be. I was doing all that to
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 1: get here, right, and so like that here and I
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 1: don't know what to do. But now, yeah, I'm staring
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 1: at a blank space where I've just had to be
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 1: so single minded for so the car right now, what
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 1: you know, I think that. I guess we all empathize
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 1: with you know, Mama Carroll in this like yeah no,
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 1: And you know when you think about that to support Andrea,
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 1: like how are you supposed to I guess help a
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 1: person through that?
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 2: Like what do you when you when you've won the
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 2: Super Bowl? Right, won the lottery? You know, like yeah,
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 2: like this thing that I was set to do that
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 2: I was just so focused on.
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 3: I saw a documentary this I forgot who he was.
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 1: He was a defensive tackle, but he was like one
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 1: of the best in the the era, and he won
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 1: a Super Bowl and his son was telling the story
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 1: in the documentary. That's the saddest I've ever seen. My
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 1: father was like a week after the Super Bowl. Yeah,
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 1: because like all the interviews are done, it's in the books. Great,
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 1: we're talking about next season now, and this guy is
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 1: like thinking, like my whole life's purpose.
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 3: I was waking up at four am, you know, the.
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 2: Dude do that?
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 3: And I did it.
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 4: I hoisted the trophy. Okay, you know like I did.
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 4: Aren't you happy?
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 5: Like sure?
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 4: I mean I really do kind of kind of like golf,
• 1:17:03
  Speaker 4: finding a good kind of low impact hobby that is
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 4: slow going and kind of takes a while. I'm thinking
• 1:17:14
  Speaker 4: things like golf. I'm thinking things like kayaking, you.
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 1: Know, finding a new activity to introduce to Mama Carroll
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 1: that like, hey, yeah, I was thinking we should do
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 1: crochet together, or I mean they live far away from
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 1: each other, but having a new kind of adventure. Recommending
• 1:17:28
  Speaker 1: a book like something to start kind of getting invested in.
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 4: I think, is what Yeah, yeah, something something to like,
• 1:17:33
  Speaker 4: something that's nice and something that is enjoyable and peaceful,
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 4: but also something that just takes up some time, something
• 1:17:41
  Speaker 4: that takes some takes a couple of hours off the clock.
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 2: I beat cancer, Now I'm gonna beat golf.
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and it'll never happen.
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 4: Golfs cancer is higher than in beating golf, for sure.
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 3: Exactly he prevented it, nailed it.
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 2: Scored an eighteen. Yep.
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 5: I feel like.
• 1:18:06
  Speaker 4: I always I'm always bothered by Kim Jong un lying
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 4: about golf too.
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 4: You know why I'm bothered about it because he never
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 4: just says that I scored an eighteen. He doesn't just
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 4: say I scored like a perfect hole in one on
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 4: every hole. He'll say like he scored something like a
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 4: twenty three. Yeah, yeah, so you got a couple of
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 4: hold ones.
• 1:18:23
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, which well not all.
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 2: Of them because that would be silly. He missed a
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 2: couple three.
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 4: Foot realistic to make this lie believable like this, They
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 4: settled on a number too.
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 1: They were like, twenty two is silly, twenty three plausible, right.
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 5: I think eventually getting to what Jacob said is great
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 5: advice and something to maybe talk through with your mom.
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 5: But I also think kind of just uh, don't feel
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 5: like you have to manage your feelings, Like I don't
• 1:19:02
  Speaker 5: have to get her to be happy now, or to
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 5: get her to a certain point, Like I would almost
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 5: take the pursuit of just checking in with her and asking,
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 5: you know, hey, how are we doing today? Like where
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 5: we at? Maybe come up with a little scale for
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 5: something that doesn't feel so much like you're grilling her
• 1:19:22
  Speaker 5: every time you see her, talk to her, but just yeah,
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 5: checking in sort of and if she says, oh, you
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 5: know what, I'm having a weird day, I just it
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 5: was hard to get out of bed because I'm not
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 5: really sure what the purpose is or whatever. If she's
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 5: going through something like that, I'm not sure. You didn't
• 1:19:38
  Speaker 5: like describe specifically how her feeling lost and confused, like
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 5: is manifesting, but whatever that is, just be like, oh,
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 5: you know, just validate a lot and let her feel
• 1:19:50
  Speaker 5: those things and kind of just allowing her to be
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 5: a little lost for a moment, because being lost is
• 1:19:57
  Speaker 5: what helps helps us get to the found part and
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 5: not feeling like we have to fill that or fix it.
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 1: You know, I love that advice. You know, you just
• 1:20:04
  Speaker 1: reminded me too that as a general principle, anytime humans
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 1: go through significant life change, even positive ones, we kind
• 1:20:12
  Speaker 1: of look to the stages of grief as sort of
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 1: this processing model of how humans usually go through the
• 1:20:19
  Speaker 1: digestion of that change. And you'd think, why would anybody
• 1:20:22
  Speaker 1: be sad about beating cancer or why would you know,
• 1:20:24
  Speaker 1: like in denial a boil you I think we could
• 1:20:26
  Speaker 1: all nod to feeling and denial about it, like it
• 1:20:28
  Speaker 1: doesn't feel true, or why would somebody be angry about
• 1:20:30
  Speaker 1: beating cancer? And it isn't necessarily those things. It's just
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 1: a restlessness, you know, and a sense of disease that
• 1:20:36
  Speaker 1: you know, this this doesn't quite connect. Something feels off
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 1: and I don't know, like I feel sullen, I feel
• 1:20:42
  Speaker 1: you know, strange and it's just like the gears are
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 1: not yet connecting to this new reality. And I love
• 1:20:48
  Speaker 1: your point that you can't rescue a person out of
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 1: that that and this is why we have the model
• 1:20:53
  Speaker 1: of the stages of grief is I think to reassure
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 1: the person and those around them that you are going
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 1: to just go ahead and walk through this and that's good.
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 3: This is healthy.
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 1: You will rediscover life, purpose, life direction. You're digesting and
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 1: metabolizing this strange energy and the strange placement. There's no epiphany.
• 1:21:13
  Speaker 1: There's nothing Andrea can say to Mama Carroll that's gonna
• 1:21:15
  Speaker 1: be like, oh the lights turn on and be like,
• 1:21:17
  Speaker 1: oh thanks, honey, great, Oh it all makes sense now,
• 1:21:20
  Speaker 1: you know. There's no book like it's just let her
• 1:21:23
  Speaker 1: meander and process this and find it in her own time.
• 1:21:26
  Speaker 3: And Andrew, I think you.
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 1: Have been a wonderful asset to her throughout this whole journey,
• 1:21:32
  Speaker 1: driving all the way out there, holding her hand, being
• 1:21:35
  Speaker 1: there on the day she rings the bell, like being
• 1:21:37
  Speaker 1: there throughout this process, getting there early in the morning,
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 1: like you have been just a witness and a partaker
• 1:21:42
  Speaker 1: and a supporter. And at this next stage, I think
• 1:21:45
  Speaker 1: your job is not to fix it. But your job
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 1: might be very similar to a therapist to.
• 1:21:50
  Speaker 4: Witness continuing to be around, because I think the worst
• 1:21:55
  Speaker 4: part with this, with with this scenario would be like you.
• 1:21:59
  Speaker 2: Know, mothers struggling daughters right there the whole time, mother
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 2: overcomes this amazing feat and then daughter doesn't feel like, okay, cool,
• 1:22:09
  Speaker 2: you don't need me anymore at it. There's more distance,
• 1:22:11
  Speaker 2: you know. Then I think that even feels worse for mom, sure,
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 2: as opposed to just like okay, cool, let's continue to
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 2: be involved, continue to be a support system, even if
• 1:22:21
  Speaker 2: you're not trying to. Like Jim said, you're not trying
• 1:22:23
  Speaker 2: to fix the problem, you're just being present and just
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 2: you know, maintaining communication, maintaining you know, being around.
• 1:22:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and you're doing something in that process. I mean,
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 3: there's that old saying, right, don't don't just don't just
• 1:22:36
  Speaker 3: do something stand there, you know, turning out that old
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 3: axiom on its head that actually, when somebody's in crisis
• 1:22:43
  Speaker 3: recovering from crisis, a lot of times we're just holding
• 1:22:46
  Speaker 3: space and creating a space for them to talk through it,
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 3: to process to and you're holding up a human mirror
• 1:22:52
  Speaker 3: for them to like language, what they're feeling, and if
• 1:22:54
  Speaker 3: they're like, I'm just feeling so confused, hun like I
• 1:22:56
  Speaker 3: don't know, Like I just I can't. I'm just in
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 3: this weird melancholy state of can't seem to make sense
• 1:23:00
  Speaker 3: of it all. Okay, great, just be there with them
• 1:23:04
  Speaker 3: and just say, wow, that that sounds really confusing, that
• 1:23:06
  Speaker 3: that is difficult.
• 1:23:07
  Speaker 2: So here's something I was thinking about from mom's perspective.
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 2: What are your thoughts on this? Because I know a
• 1:23:12
  Speaker 2: lot of people like when they go through a situation
• 1:23:14
  Speaker 2: like this, they really dodge a bullet, you know, and
• 1:23:18
  Speaker 2: then they come out the other side and like, Okay,
• 1:23:21
  Speaker 2: I got to make my life mean something now. Sure,
• 1:23:23
  Speaker 2: Sometimes it's yeah, because like that in and of itself,
• 1:23:27
  Speaker 2: there's a part of that that I think is great
• 1:23:29
  Speaker 2: and it's very motivating, but then like there's this other
• 1:23:32
  Speaker 2: part of it too that like you can that could
• 1:23:34
  Speaker 2: be very dangerous. That mindset. Yeah, I always think of
• 1:23:38
  Speaker 2: like in Saving Private Ryan, the very last scene, you know,
• 1:23:43
  Speaker 2: you know, where he's like spoiler alert for saving Probably yeah.
• 1:23:46
  Speaker 3: Turn it off, mute the next minute spoiler we're.
• 1:23:49
  Speaker 2: Alert For those of you who know nothing about World
• 1:23:51
  Speaker 2: War two.
• 1:23:52
  Speaker 4: I don't want to alert for people who haven't seen
• 1:23:55
  Speaker 4: saving Private Ryan and haven't seen the outcome.
• 1:23:57
  Speaker 3: Of World War two. Yeah, both will be right.
• 1:24:02
  Speaker 2: Go ahead, you're gonna like it. It's good.
• 1:24:06
  Speaker 3: Spoiler spoiler you live. Yeah no, I think the Germans
• 1:24:11
  Speaker 3: are pretty happy to be U asshole too disagree.
• 1:24:17
  Speaker 2: So anyway, you know, he you know, as he's dying,
• 1:24:20
  Speaker 2: he's you know, he sells, says to Matt Damon, He's like,
• 1:24:23
  Speaker 2: earn this, you know, like earn it. I'm dying, now,
• 1:24:27
  Speaker 2: make your life mean something, which is like, okay, great,
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 2: what a wonderful story. But then you see like how
• 1:24:33
  Speaker 2: that emotionally hurt Matt Dame Matt Damon's character throughout that movie,
• 1:24:38
  Speaker 2: because now he's an old man and he's just sobbing,
• 1:24:40
  Speaker 2: and he's like and he's asking his wife for reassurance, like,
• 1:24:44
  Speaker 2: was was my life worth this? Was it was? Tell
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 2: me I was a good husband? Tell me it's like
• 1:24:49
  Speaker 2: and then you realize like he's been carrying this on
• 1:24:52
  Speaker 2: his shoulders for decades and how difficult that is to
• 1:24:57
  Speaker 2: carry that, you know, and so it's don't if if
• 1:25:01
  Speaker 2: I was talking to your mom too, I would kind
• 1:25:03
  Speaker 2: of like, hey, you know, this is a wonderful thing
• 1:25:06
  Speaker 2: that has happened. Enjoy it. But just live your life,
• 1:25:10
  Speaker 2: you know. Don't feel like pressure that like now that
• 1:25:13
  Speaker 2: I've done this, now I've got to solve you know,
• 1:25:15
  Speaker 2: global warming, you know, and I'm not complete unless I
• 1:25:18
  Speaker 2: do something amazing. You know. It's like, no, just live
• 1:25:21
  Speaker 2: your life and living a full life that's amazing.
• 1:25:24
  Speaker 6: Also, enjoy enjoy the victory and enjoy like you've accomplished something, right,
• 1:25:32
  Speaker 6: Enjoy that I take take a moment to be proud
• 1:25:34
  Speaker 6: of that as well, right, because that's you know it
• 1:25:36
  Speaker 6: doesn't it feels like you've done something uh heroic and
• 1:25:41
  Speaker 6: and kind of grand. But at the same time, you
• 1:25:45
  Speaker 6: can't really point anything and say like here's the thing
• 1:25:46
  Speaker 6: that I did, right, and that that's a little weird.
• 1:25:49
  Speaker 3: So I mean take that.
• 1:25:50
  Speaker 4: Time and really really look at it and go like, yeah,
• 1:25:52
  Speaker 4: I fucking I fucking did this.
• 1:25:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, find a way to celebrate. Yeah, if you, if you,
• 1:25:57
  Speaker 2: maybe I was gonna say cigarettes, but yeah, you just
• 1:26:00
  Speaker 2: beat cancer. Maybe let's start.
• 1:26:04
  Speaker 1: Lightning, don strike twice double Jeopardy.
• 1:26:10
  Speaker 3: Cancer follows no. I.
• 1:26:16
  Speaker 5: Uh so, my mom got remarried a couple of years ago,
• 1:26:21
  Speaker 5: and her husband and they've they've been together maybe six
• 1:26:24
  Speaker 5: years now total. But her husband when they had met,
• 1:26:28
  Speaker 5: he had been a couple of years out of recovery
• 1:26:31
  Speaker 5: from cancer. He had like part of his throat removed.
• 1:26:35
  Speaker 5: He was an alcoholic for years, and I think that
• 1:26:38
  Speaker 5: contributed to some of it, but probably no like heavy alcoholic.
• 1:26:44
  Speaker 5: So he's sober now. But he has described that there's
• 1:26:49
  Speaker 5: almost like a PTSD to surviving cancer, at least for him.
• 1:26:55
  Speaker 5: I'm not saying that everyone goes through this, but it's
• 1:26:58
  Speaker 5: something I hadn't ever thought about where it's almost like
• 1:27:00
  Speaker 5: a fear that it will come back, or like like
• 1:27:04
  Speaker 5: you're not out of the woods even though it's been years.
• 1:27:07
  Speaker 5: And I was like, man, that is an interesting concept
• 1:27:10
  Speaker 5: to one just be carrying around this kind of sense
• 1:27:14
  Speaker 5: of dread or I'm not saying it's all the time,
• 1:27:16
  Speaker 5: but you know that those are thoughts he has. And
• 1:27:19
  Speaker 5: also he doesn't totally take on the like I have
• 1:27:23
  Speaker 5: to make my like super meaningful or anything like that,
• 1:27:25
  Speaker 5: but he does I can tell live his life very
• 1:27:29
  Speaker 5: much like I want to do this, I'm gonna do it,
• 1:27:32
  Speaker 5: like sometimes to have vault At times, he has like
• 1:27:35
  Speaker 5: nine or ten dogs or something, because he reshes them all.
• 1:27:38
  Speaker 5: He's like rescue the dogs. Like, oh my gosh, he's
• 1:27:41
  Speaker 5: a sweetheart, but like he just kind of.
• 1:27:43
  Speaker 4: Does when I die, come check on SJ because she
• 1:27:47
  Speaker 4: will have so many dogs, so.
• 1:27:48
  Speaker 5: Many that will be her from that noted, that's that's
• 1:27:53
  Speaker 5: your official will.
• 1:27:54
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's the will.
• 1:27:56
  Speaker 4: The only reason she doesn't have more than two right
• 1:27:57
  Speaker 4: now is sitting next to you on the couch.
• 1:28:00
  Speaker 5: That's so cute. But that was something that I thought
• 1:28:04
  Speaker 5: was really interesting. And for him if he has like
• 1:28:06
  Speaker 5: friends or even some days my mom will just like
• 1:28:09
  Speaker 5: want to, you know, chill on the couch on a
• 1:28:11
  Speaker 5: day off or something like that. I think he has
• 1:28:13
  Speaker 5: a hard time with that. But it's like, why aren't
• 1:28:16
  Speaker 5: she getting outside and just just doing whatever. We can
• 1:28:19
  Speaker 5: go on a motorcycle ride, or it can be a
• 1:28:22
  Speaker 5: hike or you know, and all that's great too, but
• 1:28:24
  Speaker 5: I think there's a slight sense of more sense of
• 1:28:26
  Speaker 5: urgency from him. And he's younger than my mom by
• 1:28:30
  Speaker 5: a couple of years, so it's like he's out there
• 1:28:32
  Speaker 5: trying to go do stuff, and if there's a day
• 1:28:34
  Speaker 5: or two where she like doesn't really want to, it
• 1:28:36
  Speaker 5: can be a little contentious because it's like, well.
• 1:28:39
  Speaker 3: He's got a carpe dim men, Yeah, a little bit.
• 1:28:41
  Speaker 5: And I was like, that's just they've been through different
• 1:28:44
  Speaker 5: things in life, and so yeah, there's just a lot
• 1:28:46
  Speaker 5: of interesting perspectives I wouldn't have thought of from somebody
• 1:28:49
  Speaker 5: surviving changes everything.
• 1:28:51
  Speaker 1: I've had a patient tell me once, I'm cancer free,
• 1:28:53
  Speaker 1: but I'll never be free of cancer. We'll never yes
• 1:28:56
  Speaker 1: of the nightmare that this thing could come back.
• 1:28:59
  Speaker 4: It's it's so interesting hearing you guys say the nightmare
• 1:29:03
  Speaker 4: of it. I mean, I've never had cancer, but a
• 1:29:07
  Speaker 4: lot of people in my family have. Almost every one
• 1:29:10
  Speaker 4: above a certain age in my family has had cancer.
• 1:29:13
  Speaker 4: And uh, there's always just the assumption that it's going
• 1:29:17
  Speaker 4: to come back.
• 1:29:18
  Speaker 3: I know, but it's never I don't know.
• 1:29:21
  Speaker 4: It's as someone who has been around it but not
• 1:29:24
  Speaker 4: had it.
• 1:29:25
  Speaker 3: It's an assumption, but not a fear. It's just the like, this.
• 1:29:29
  Speaker 4: Thing's gonna this, We're gonna have to deal with this again. Right,
• 1:29:31
  Speaker 4: We're not done dealing with this, but we're done for
• 1:29:33
  Speaker 4: right now.
• 1:29:34
  Speaker 5: To be honest, I've never heard somebody mention the fear
• 1:29:36
  Speaker 5: after until him, and I think it's something maybe maybe
• 1:29:39
  Speaker 5: not talked about, maybe because you don't want to feel
• 1:29:42
  Speaker 5: ungrateful that you've survived. Look, I got through it, so
• 1:29:45
  Speaker 5: I don't want to put like a negative.
• 1:29:47
  Speaker 3: It's a mind fuck for sure.
• 1:29:50
  Speaker 5: Imagine it.
• 1:29:51
  Speaker 3: It's all, you know, every part of it is a
• 1:29:53
  Speaker 3: mind fuck.
• 1:29:53
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, especially and.
• 1:29:55
  Speaker 1: The cause of cancer is having had cancer. So like
• 1:29:57
  Speaker 1: being treated for cancer and dealing with cancer, the odds
• 1:30:00
  Speaker 1: of other cancer suddenly goes up because is terrible.
• 1:30:04
  Speaker 3: Yea chemo always turns out is it good for any
• 1:30:06
  Speaker 3: part of your body?
• 1:30:07
  Speaker 1: So it's all such a mess. But Andrew, you know,
• 1:30:09
  Speaker 1: I think that you have been so supportive of your
• 1:30:12
  Speaker 1: mother that that you know, you've gotten her through this,
• 1:30:14
  Speaker 1: that she's now recovered, that's wonderful. What great you know
• 1:30:18
  Speaker 1: stories here were always you know, thankful for success and
• 1:30:21
  Speaker 1: also just yeah, giving her that that space that digest
• 1:30:23
  Speaker 1: that just bearing witness to it more than trying to
• 1:30:25
  Speaker 1: solve it. I think that whenever you're you're not looking
• 1:30:29
  Speaker 1: down the gun barrel of your existence, the little things
• 1:30:32
  Speaker 1: of reality make up your life. You're interested that the
• 1:30:35
  Speaker 1: McRib is coming back. You're interested that it's time to
• 1:30:37
  Speaker 1: decorate for fall. You're interested, you know, of your fantasy
• 1:30:40
  Speaker 1: football league, all these silly things that do not matter,
• 1:30:44
  Speaker 1: and then whenever you're facing death, nothing matters. And then
• 1:30:47
  Speaker 1: once you've survived, you're like, well, it's hard to get
• 1:30:50
  Speaker 1: back to the regular trappings of the human life that
• 1:30:53
  Speaker 1: make things interesting, that give me orientation to the here
• 1:30:56
  Speaker 1: and now.
• 1:30:57
  Speaker 3: But they just don't seem interesting anymore.
• 1:30:59
  Speaker 1: They don't a very forgivable oversight, you know. And I
• 1:31:02
  Speaker 1: think eventually that stuff comes back to you start to
• 1:31:05
  Speaker 1: get reoriented. But yeah, feeling a little detached from like
• 1:31:08
  Speaker 1: the meta narrative of our society, I think that is normal,
• 1:31:12
  Speaker 1: you know. And then eventually reattack. It'sertainly not shocking, not
• 1:31:15
  Speaker 1: at all par for the course. Yeah, hole in one
• 1:31:18
  Speaker 1: for the course. I believe.
• 1:31:21
  Speaker 3: Something that should be talked about more with cancer treatments.
• 1:31:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and if she's interested in going to a cancer
• 1:31:26
  Speaker 1: survivors group, most oncology programs have some kind of support group,
• 1:31:31
  Speaker 1: and you know, a lot of people, I think when
• 1:31:33
  Speaker 1: they finish with the treatment, they're like, I really just
• 1:31:35
  Speaker 1: don't want to look at this anymore for a while,
• 1:31:37
  Speaker 1: and I don't want to be a part of it.
• 1:31:38
  Speaker 1: I don't want to be part of the community, and
• 1:31:39
  Speaker 1: that makes sense, but it is a very common reality.
• 1:31:42
  Speaker 1: But glad to hear that she's on the other side
• 1:31:44
  Speaker 1: of it. Congratulations on your part. If confusion is the
• 1:31:47
  Speaker 1: worst of your woes as a cancer, you know, patient, great,
• 1:31:51
  Speaker 1: you know I think you'll take that action.
• 1:31:52
  Speaker 3: Sure, of course, I'm sure you will.
• 1:31:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I don't want to discredit anything that Jim has said.
• 1:31:58
  Speaker 2: There's no news yet. As of last year, the McK
• 1:32:02
  Speaker 2: rib didn't come back until December third.
• 1:32:04
  Speaker 3: Of twenty four.
• 1:32:05
  Speaker 4: Okay, okay, so it's probably I mean, history would say
• 1:32:09
  Speaker 4: it's probably going to come back in December. So those
• 1:32:11
  Speaker 4: of you who heard this and are getting excited, yeah,
• 1:32:14
  Speaker 4: you got two months. We'll keep a second correction as well.
• 1:32:17
  Speaker 4: In fairness, were we were discussing Kim Jong un earlier,
• 1:32:21
  Speaker 4: it's Kim Jong yi.
• 1:32:22
  Speaker 2: It's Kim Jong ill.
• 1:32:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:32:23
  Speaker 4: Kim Jong yil famously on when he was fifty two
• 1:32:27
  Speaker 4: years old. It was his first time playing golf and
• 1:32:30
  Speaker 4: he shot a thirty eight under par, including eleven.
• 1:32:34
  Speaker 3: Polls in one. Yeah, he was first playing golf in
• 1:32:37
  Speaker 3: fifty two. Yeah.
• 1:32:39
  Speaker 2: Well that's the thing.
• 1:32:40
  Speaker 4: There is a great I found a great ESPN article
• 1:32:44
  Speaker 4: that was written apparently the day that Kim Jong yil died,
• 1:32:47
  Speaker 4: and it's just from the point of view of him
• 1:32:49
  Speaker 4: being the greatest golfer in the history. Yeah, can you
• 1:32:54
  Speaker 4: put that in the group? I'll sit to you, ye please.
• 1:32:57
  Speaker 4: The article starts with the greatest golfer in history gone, oh,
• 1:33:04
  Speaker 4: espn and well done. It's like a two or three
• 1:33:06
  Speaker 4: paragraph they it's so perfect, it's so perfect, just dead
• 1:33:10
  Speaker 4: fanning it.
• 1:33:12
  Speaker 5: The writers if they felt if they were part of
• 1:33:14
  Speaker 5: discord to if they feel comfortable adding a picture of
• 1:33:17
  Speaker 5: their mom ringing that bell.
• 1:33:19
  Speaker 3: Oh, yes, we want to.
• 1:33:20
  Speaker 2: That'd be cool.
• 1:33:22
  Speaker 1: Well, we're going to take a quick break and when
• 1:33:23
  Speaker 1: we come back, we're wrapping up the show. You're listening
• 1:33:26
  Speaker 1: to pod Therapy.
• 1:33:28
  Speaker 2: Today's episode is brought to you by Jack Schneider and
• 1:33:30
  Speaker 2: Leah Richard Macy, Sunny Boy, Thunder Kruger, Scoop, Slurping the Fucker,
• 1:33:35
  Speaker 2: Sander Mcwafflebriel Adam Warren and Big Crimes. Would you watch
• 1:33:41
  Speaker 2: the sponsor the show become a therapy ser Patreon dot
• 1:33:43
  Speaker 2: com slash therapy.
• 1:33:44
  Speaker 1: Because we wrap one, want to remind you that you
• 1:33:47
  Speaker 1: could sign up a Patreon dot com slash there.
• 1:33:49
  Speaker 2: Jim does Oh, sorry, what.
• 1:33:50
  Speaker 3: Was I'm getting tight on time? I gotta sorry.
• 1:33:54
  Speaker 2: I just thought we were going to get to rule
• 1:33:56
  Speaker 2: of thumb at some point.
• 1:33:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, which is the beating the women one?
• 1:33:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's you can't. You can't use a
• 1:34:01
  Speaker 4: rod larger than the width of your thumb to beat
• 1:34:03
  Speaker 4: your wife.
• 1:34:04
  Speaker 1: A reasonable standard, A reasonable Yeah. Come on patron dot
• 1:34:08
  Speaker 1: COM's Last Therapy. You can get our extended show ad
• 1:34:11
  Speaker 1: free a day earlier, as well as enjoy a live
• 1:34:13
  Speaker 1: chat discord. Community are weekly deep dives in it well,
• 1:34:15
  Speaker 1: sporadic deep dives, interview, skill shares, research, transmisent rants. The
• 1:34:19
  Speaker 1: one that we published this week is called forty two.
• 1:34:22
  Speaker 1: It's another installment of this discussion about conscious AI, and
• 1:34:26
  Speaker 1: this one's about how AI might derive a meaning to life?
• 1:34:30
  Speaker 1: Is that something it should do?
• 1:34:32
  Speaker 3: So it's a little bit.
• 1:34:33
  Speaker 1: It's gonna be about Jackie Robi Also about Jackie Robinson.
• 1:34:37
  Speaker 1: We've got some new friends that have joined us at
• 1:34:39
  Speaker 1: patreon dot com slash therapy.
• 1:34:41
  Speaker 3: Who is new to the therap party.
• 1:34:42
  Speaker 2: We got a new therapeal Scoop Lindsay Right Welcome and
• 1:34:46
  Speaker 2: another new therappal Andrew Carmidell. It is the first episode,
• 1:34:52
  Speaker 2: we got a new therap pod. Oh, those are important,
• 1:34:54
  Speaker 2: Kyle Sharton, Well, welcome.
• 1:34:58
  Speaker 1: It's the first episode of the month, and so we
• 1:34:59
  Speaker 1: always like to thank our therapods and our therap dactyls
• 1:35:02
  Speaker 1: and producers, and of course we think our producers and
• 1:35:04
  Speaker 1: partners every week. But I'm gonna read off our list
• 1:35:07
  Speaker 1: of therapods who are still with the program.
• 1:35:08
  Speaker 3: We, sir, do love you and appreciate you. Thank you.
• 1:35:11
  Speaker 1: University, Jeff Robert Paulson, Linda Brandmeyer, Scoopster Not Joseph Bengrazio,
• 1:35:16
  Speaker 1: Corey Owens, Christine Phillips, Gavin Bristow, Carrie ter Hart, Ky
• 1:35:20
  Speaker 1: we Fruit, Scoop Ticket, EV Podcast, Craig Little, James k
• 1:35:23
  Speaker 1: Don Door, Jim Hunter, scoop Atron, Todd Canfield, David Sorens
• 1:35:27
  Speaker 1: and Felicia Butler, Saila Bullock, Lauren Is Oh, Katie Chibbikowski,
• 1:35:31
  Speaker 1: Adam Patanuzzo, Matt's Lenagren, Lee Popsicle, Scoop itter Is, sending
• 1:35:35
  Speaker 1: Ian Soto, That Josh, Guy, Mom and Ninja Scoop, James Dawson,
• 1:35:39
  Speaker 1: Grumpy Lake Meat Park Ranger, Sarah Olo, Sam Buck, Karen McCulloch, Lila,
• 1:35:43
  Speaker 1: Kelly Gagner, Nippy, Brian Emra, Matthew Johnson, Alec Lancaster, Julius Kappell,
• 1:35:47
  Speaker 1: j D. Congan, A Literal Pickle, Matthias vander bramt Ken Tinsley,
• 1:35:52
  Speaker 1: Flynn Dy, Nailed It Smells Funny, Joel McMillan, Duffy the
• 1:35:56
  Speaker 1: Amft Therapist, Bear Congratulations, Duffy, Matthew Cubick, Chad Chad the Safety,
• 1:36:01
  Speaker 1: Lad Walker, Fluke Almost Doctor Nurse, Joey Kirka Grim, Philip Guiton,
• 1:36:05
  Speaker 1: Tim Mystery, Kristin Robbins, Christopher de Gersey, Melissa Lgeisler, Tricia
• 1:36:11
  Speaker 1: or Tez, Freie Lawson, d J. Sewart, Mississippi Hippie scott A,
• 1:36:15
  Speaker 1: Patty Glad, Anthony Camarada, Fife, Heather w Kyle, David Williams,
• 1:36:20
  Speaker 1: Williams Nailed It, Kate Polize, Frontastic, Buddy Dobbins, Eric Dyer, Ceronelpillar,
• 1:36:25
  Speaker 1: Glitch Scoop, Nathan Mookie, bug Nuts, Stephen Landon, Alita Balaize,
• 1:36:29
  Speaker 1: Adam Blaze, John Finlayson, Kenneth Wong, Mysterious, analyd Persephone Hazard,
• 1:36:35
  Speaker 1: Kate Phizzle, Dizzle, Robert Cole, Carmen Perry, kJ Mister pothsen Cytium,
• 1:36:40
  Speaker 1: Temporary Reality, jimmybe Jacob Hurt, Ray, j Shark, Silka Daniels
• 1:36:45
  Speaker 1: Recreated What does Scoop Mean? Jacob Billingsley, Alex Jardine, Dylan Collapee,
• 1:36:50
  Speaker 1: WOLFEO Five, Chris Courtney Dale, The Kings, Cedar Hayden, Adam
• 1:36:54
  Speaker 1: goff Linus Hakkasan, Kevin s Tribe, Livy Terrible, Tay, Grace Any,
• 1:36:59
  Speaker 1: Bitty Chicken, Farmer, sam Ka, Matthews, Chill Food, John Calvaratas,
• 1:37:04
  Speaker 1: Zachary w Fish, Bumfish, Foxy Sally, Zelda Ray, sky Walker,
• 1:37:09
  Speaker 1: Cloudy Pies, Hannah, Ammy E Maaya Nailed It, Matthew Connor,
• 1:37:14
  Speaker 1: Neck Bubes, Winter Scoop, Andre's Fun Crapper, The Wittle Shitty
• 1:37:19
  Speaker 1: Titty Kitty, Ian Johnson, Renee g and Kyle Sharton Hey
• 1:37:25
  Speaker 1: Third Actyls.
• 1:37:26
  Speaker 5: We Have Ice Blue Scoop Brian Lehman, Andrea Anderson, lori Elsroth, Say, Shaunagan, Scoopy, Scoopy,
• 1:37:32
  Speaker 5: Jess Jess Okie Scoop, Dank Butta brooks Lyle Adam Ribchick,
• 1:37:37
  Speaker 5: Lovely spark Ooh it is just Fine Jim and Manu.
• 1:37:41
  Speaker 5: The Offices of Counselor and Counselor Manuel Cavassos, A krusty Quathan,
• 1:37:47
  Speaker 5: A smug Mochi ice Cream Noramana Code, Mommy Damate, Mike J. Nilsen,
• 1:37:54
  Speaker 5: b B hermit A Donna Savage I.
• 1:38:00
  Speaker 1: And we'd like to think the benevolent, revered, generous, and
• 1:38:02
  Speaker 1: flagrantly pro therapy diehards who love you all so much
• 1:38:05
  Speaker 1: they give till it hurts that their partners dirty b
• 1:38:08
  Speaker 1: and picket. And we want to thank our bosses, the
• 1:38:11
  Speaker 1: mysterious and shrouded Illuminati members of our fan club, that
• 1:38:13
  Speaker 1: their producers thank you. Jake Schneider, Myra, Robert Brownie, Junior Mint,
• 1:38:17
  Speaker 1: Smitty Scoop, Richard Fucking Macy, Judy Schneider, Malia, Leon Cassab,
• 1:38:21
  Speaker 1: Carolyn Albert, Kevin Chamberlain, Tess Miller, Dan Martin, Sammy Scoop,
• 1:38:25
  Speaker 1: Slipe Kaye, Motherfucker, Ben Stanley, slapping your face, Sarah Smith,
• 1:38:29
  Speaker 1: Adam Hathaway, Builer t Mike hal Moskar Swan Rose, Paris
• 1:38:32
  Speaker 1: A sunny Boy, Darren Cunningham, Lib Sandra mcwoffle Team Monaco,
• 1:38:36
  Speaker 1: Thunder Cougar, Falcon Scoop, Heyo, Hanna, Marie Andrew Lang Mead,
• 1:38:40
  Speaker 1: Emma Tonka and Pony Soprano, Alina Cody, Delorian, Guy Brady Malay,
• 1:38:45
  Speaker 1: Chick Chick, Filatio Gabriela, Dame, Shawn Sutherland, Max the Ginger Scoop,
• 1:38:49
  Speaker 1: Chad mag Adam Wren, Inca Le Prince, nailed It, Sam Cone,
• 1:38:54
  Speaker 1: and of course be Gay do crimes.
• 1:38:57
  Speaker 2: If you would like to hear this episode, I'm cut
• 1:38:59
  Speaker 2: and unedited. Wouldn't you enjoy our spontaneous side projects. Go
• 1:39:02
  Speaker 2: to patreon dot com slash therapy and thank you for
• 1:39:04
  Speaker 2: supporting mental health.
• 1:39:05
  Speaker 3: That's all the time we got for this week session.
• 1:39:07
  Speaker 4: Want to think our landlords, s J and the Ruckus
• 1:39:10
  Speaker 4: and thanks to those of you contributed to our show today.
• 1:39:13
  Speaker 3: We really appreciate you.
• 1:39:15
  Speaker 1: Remember, pot therapy isn't something you should keep all of yourself.
• 1:39:18
  Speaker 1: Shared this episode with the world, tag us on the socials.
• 1:39:21
  Speaker 1: When you do it's at pot therapy, guys on Instagram,
• 1:39:24
  Speaker 1: threads and Twitter, at slash pot therapy on Facebook, and
• 1:39:27
  Speaker 1: don't forget about all the extra goodies at patreon dot
• 1:39:29
  Speaker 1: com slash therapy.
• 1:39:31
  Speaker 2: Do you want to submit a question to the show,
• 1:39:32
  Speaker 2: You can ask anonymously. If pod Therapy talk nuts emails
• 1:39:36
  Speaker 2: pod Therapy guys at gmail dot com, or click the
• 1:39:38
  Speaker 2: link in the episode subscription.
• 1:39:40
  Speaker 3: I'm Nick Tangeman, I'm Jim. Thanks.
• 1:39:42
  Speaker 2: We'll see you for the appointments next week.
• 1:39:43
  Speaker 3: I'm so excited to read this ESPN article. Oh my god,
• 1:39:47
  Speaker 3: this looks glorious.
• 1:39:48
  Speaker 4: It's a fifteen second read. Put it up to the
• 1:39:50
  Speaker 4: discord because it's it's great fun. I'm so happy that
• 1:39:55
  Speaker 4: they did this. Kim Jong is a dictator to great links. Yeah,
• 1:40:02
  Speaker 4: oh yeah, yeah, somebody, somebody did a really good job
• 1:40:05
  Speaker 4: with that.
• 1:40:05
  Speaker 3: Oh my god.
• 1:40:06
  Speaker 4: Goodbye everybody.