Latest / Just Heal with Dr Jay / Healing and Evolving Into Your Best Self with Danyel Surrency Jones

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Healing and Evolving Into Your Best Self with Danyel Surrency Jones · Just Heal with Dr Jay

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Just Hell with Doctor J, a production of
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: the Black Effect Podcast Network and iHeartRadio. What's up, good people,
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: I am Doctor J and this is just Here with
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Doctor J. And we are back for another great episode
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: to talk heal and talk transformation, all things to get
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: your mind right and to get you well. I'm excited
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: today because I have a really great friend of mine
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: that's whether we sit it down, joining the healing community.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: You may know her as a global strategist. She is
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: an inventor and she's also an executive operator. I want
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  Speaker 1: to welcome to the healing community my good friend, Danielle
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: Sarensei Jones.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: Man saying that when you get amongst your friends, they're like,
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: you need to choose right. You ei the need to
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: be doctor J, who is a therapist and the stereotypical
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: personality of a therapist. But you can't be funny. You
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: can be in search for your wife. That's what women
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: have gone through and are going through. We're all hot
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: into this lane where it's like you need to choose.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: You can't have multi dimensional talents and personalities. You a mom,
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: you need to be a mom. You're a businesswoman. You
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: sacrifice and be a mom, Oh, you can't have multiple businesses.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: You can't be a mobile. That's so I'm very happy
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: to hear thank you for being transparent in someone.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: And I think also too right for me. It is
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: navigating the space because I talk a lot about you
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: know in previous episodes where I saw my mom get
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: placed into this box as a pastor's wife and can
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: I be on this Daniel, she never came out.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: I just heard you say that she shrink.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: Yes. And what I love about you and I love
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: about what you represent, not only just for black women,
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: because because again, to limit who you are and who
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: you become and what you build to just being a
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  Speaker 1: black woman, I think that minimize who you are just
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: women in general. Think what you representent you represent, not
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: just resilience because we were quick to talk about a
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: woman they are resilient, right. You You represent and embody
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: what a woman should aim to become. And that's everything.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: I will accept that, that's everything, whatever it is, because
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: because you were and this is this is the thing
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: that I'm often to learning. The therapy. The therapiside me
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: is I have to provide therapy for a lot of
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: women that are navigating divorce navigating change, navigating transition, and
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: navigating grief. I never I never forget working with this
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: lady who had lost her husband and we're going through
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: brief cancling, and her loss was far beyond the husband leaving.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: The loss was also her identity because when he died,
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: she felt a part of her died, and not just
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: a part of her because they were in covenant and
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: they were connected through Mars. But much of who she
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  Speaker 1: had become.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: Is that I was a wife, absolutely.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: And so what I'm wanting from you, not wanting from me,
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: but wanting to hear from you, is how do women
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: navigate life to discover that they're more than just that
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: because you were a woman, a woman before you became
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  Speaker 1: any of these tires that you.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: Hope, Well, so one Jay, thank you. I have to
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  Speaker 2: acknowledge that because it is difficult as women sometimes to
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  Speaker 2: pause and to thank the person who was giving you
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  Speaker 2: credit for being inspiration. I appreciate that. Yes, I think
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: that it's very simple. You just said, how are you
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: able to navigate them? More? Why do I have to choose?
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  Speaker 2: I mean, if our life? Yes, we were created to
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: be helpmates. Of course, we were created to be helpmates.
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  Speaker 2: But if we look at the pattern of God went
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  Speaker 2: through and he created so many different blessings and healed
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  Speaker 2: so many different people from disease, states that of course
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: he didn't know it, he didn't study. If we're helpmates
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  Speaker 2: to break forth his light, why do we think that
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  Speaker 2: has to be one dimensional?
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  Speaker 1: Now?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean and and light period has so many
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  Speaker 2: different spectrums. I mean, you know how my brain thays
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: if light has so many different spectrums. For me as
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  Speaker 2: a woman, I know that I'm going to go through
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  Speaker 2: each of those different parts as I'm going to be
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  Speaker 2: a mom, I'm gonna be a wife, I'm gonna be
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  Speaker 2: an incredible businesswoman. But I'm also gonna be a businesswoman
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: that's gonna say, why do I have to choose one lane?
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  Speaker 2: Why do I have to be a businesswoman that's just
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: in corporate America. I can also build businesses outside of
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  Speaker 2: corporate America. Why do I have to be a businesswoman
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: that says I'm just in real estate? If Jeff Bezos
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  Speaker 2: was sitting right here, Jeff wouldn't say, oh, I just
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: build Amazon. Jeff has built like ten companies. Plus wow,
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  Speaker 2: we just know of Amazon. So why Bill Gates, Rockefeller.
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  Speaker 2: You can study all of these different families in men
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  Speaker 2: in our history, white males in our history. And for me,
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  Speaker 2: it shouldn't be about being a black woman. It should
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  Speaker 2: be about being a woman who is going to maximize
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  Speaker 2: all the gifts that I have been given. You create
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  Speaker 2: a system that I'm going to pass down legacy for
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  Speaker 2: my kids. And that's what I'm talking to do. And
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  Speaker 2: that's how I've been able to navigate through every challenge
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  Speaker 2: in life to go way past the resilience standpoint. Yes,
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  Speaker 2: resilience is just one ingredient. Resilience is an ingredient that
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: connects with drive, that connects with inspiration, that connects with knowledge.
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  Speaker 2: You know better, you do better.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, And I love that because I think resilience is
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  Speaker 1: the one ingredient that allows you to keep overcoming. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: to keep overcoming, because I think what what what what
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  Speaker 1: gets most people is they think overcoming is just a
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  Speaker 1: one time thing, But overcoming is I would say, it's
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  Speaker 1: synonymous to your identity. Your identity should be an ongoing process.
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  Speaker 2: Yep.
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  Speaker 1: You should be continuously always trying to reinvent, trying to improve,
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  Speaker 1: trying to progress. And when I hear you speak you
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: talk so forwardly. Thank you. You speak and not just futuristic, right,
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: It's not that you're speaking in the future. You're speaking
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  Speaker 1: forward because all your language is like I'm going forward,
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  Speaker 1: no matter what, no matter the obstacles. So, for those
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: who don't know you, like one of the things you
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: are an inventor and one of the things that you
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: invented was I always get it wrong, but you invented
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: the grip, the hand grip.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: I've never heard anybody describe it that way, but power hands.
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  Speaker 1: So not to say so if my interpretation of it
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: is like, it's the hand grip, but it's called power hands. Yes,
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: talk about power hands.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. So I'm a co founder and inventor of an
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: athletic training and fitness product tech company and we started
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: in twenty thirteen, and it is power Hands. The patents
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: that we have several patents, but one is for our
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: design on the palm, which is an anti grip friction
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: material for the glove, and our design on the front
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: of the glove, which is weight set a strategic place
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: on your muscles, right, And so that's one patent that
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: we have. We also have a patent on a sleeve
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: that goes around a basketball that strips away your dexterity.
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  Speaker 2: We also have a patent on a co licensing product
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  Speaker 2: that's a ten pound weighted power suit. We have IP
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  Speaker 2: and trademarks in our name Powerhands Trained with Purpose. I
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: only work Monday through Sunday, right, And it's all about
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  Speaker 2: shifting your mindset and owning your power in your hands
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  Speaker 2: in order to be great.
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  Speaker 1: So I want you all to hear all of this,
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  Speaker 1: Like this is like, let me tell you something. This
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  Speaker 1: is one of the dopest woman the women I ever
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  Speaker 1: have met in their calary. Like when Dan Yell and I,
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: you know, hang out and we get together and we
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: catch up, it's it's like a moment of revitalization for me.
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  Speaker 2: Wow, I didn't do that, thank you.
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  Speaker 1: It's a moment of revitalization because I revitalized in just
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  Speaker 1: not just your dry but just in your ingenuity, you know.
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  Speaker 1: Like it's I mean, because I have always loved women
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: who uh who just went after Yeah, I mean, I
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: mean they just you know, and they're not. And I'm
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: gonna tell you why is And again, a lot of
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  Speaker 1: this always attributes back to my mother. My mother was
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: so gifted and to see her in her you know,
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  Speaker 1: later years and and these are the conversations that we have.
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  Speaker 1: And she was so gifted and so talented. And I
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  Speaker 1: think about how she you know, not only you know,
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  Speaker 1: just shrink, you know, when she was my marriage to
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  Speaker 1: my father and she was the first lady. And I
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  Speaker 1: think about, like, my mom is probably one of the
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  Speaker 1: dopest dresses I've ever seen.
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  Speaker 2: Had to meet.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, to meet mama married man and so so
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  Speaker 1: I used to watch my mom lie just. I mean,
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  Speaker 1: even though way she dressed us as kids, and we
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  Speaker 1: looked at some of the pictures of my sister like
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  Speaker 1: oh man man, but she was just. And I asked
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  Speaker 1: her one day and I said, Mama, who did you
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  Speaker 1: want to become? Mm hmm And she said, babe, she's baby.
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  Speaker 1: She said, I didn't even know you could dream.
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  Speaker 2: Oh wow o day.
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  Speaker 1: So whenever I get around women who are living look
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: at Gernual, it weighs something up in me for her,
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  Speaker 1: which is why I bring her around to the episodes
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: of the podcast, because she get to see these women
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  Speaker 1: and soul and and and in some ways she gets
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: to speak life into them and it and it fuels her.
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  Speaker 1: So that's what it is. About because you you you
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  Speaker 1: are mother and you're still doing that. You've been a
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  Speaker 1: wife and you're still doing it. You've been a business,
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  Speaker 1: I mean, and so just to allow of yourself, just
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: to say, you know what, elk the code that they've
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: attached or the box and I'm just going to shatter
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: the glass ceiling matter of fact, what is that?
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  Speaker 2: Oh there's no sailing for me. Oh I don't. I
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  Speaker 2: don't see a ceiling. I see limitless sky, get in heaven, wow,
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  Speaker 2: limitless like this always always when I when I's so, Jim,
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  Speaker 2: that's back up? Can I think, Mama Mary? Because do
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  Speaker 2: you realize the reason that I am who I am
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  Speaker 2: today is because the Mama marries who did not know
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  Speaker 2: how to drink, who were stopped dead in their tracks
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: even if they were trying to figure it out. And
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: so because of that progression, that's why I am the
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  Speaker 2: person that I am today. I anchor on you stopped
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  Speaker 2: Mama Mary, and you stop Mama Jackie, who is my mom.
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  Speaker 2: But I have a responsibility because I know better and
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  Speaker 2: I've been exposed to better because of Mama Mary and
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  Speaker 2: Mama Jackie, to make sure that I go as far
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  Speaker 2: as I can and that's not materialistic. That's as far
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: as I can love, That's as far as I can
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  Speaker 2: with forgiveness, that's as far as I can with legacy
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  Speaker 2: ownership assets like it's it's a Scott all the way
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  Speaker 2: to heaven. There is. There is not a person that's
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: gonna put a ceiling over me that I am not.
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  Speaker 2: Don't break through. And when I tell you, I mean
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  Speaker 2: that for my soul. And the only reason I know
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  Speaker 2: it's possible is because I do it every day.
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  Speaker 1: Well, I'm I'm trying not to have a moment here
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  Speaker 1: as you're talking because as you were talking about your
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  Speaker 1: mother and talking about on my life, I just because
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: I see things pictory and soul. They showed the pictures
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: and so I see as you would talk, and I
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  Speaker 1: you know, because my mother had name shoes twenty three
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: and so I remember very vividly my parents in their
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: thirties and you're the oldest. Yes I'm the oldest.
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  Speaker 2: I'm thet and.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: So I as you were talking like I do, I
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: literally saw like this picture of my mom being stopped
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  Speaker 1: in their tracks and taught me. And that's why who
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: you are is transforming to the women, the young girls
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: that come in contact with you that learn in your
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: story and learn up your resiliency. You're continuously overcoming it.
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  Speaker 1: Just even the statement you said, I do it every.
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: Day every day. I I think I told you about
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: h too captive inure, right, And so I started h
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: to Capital Ventor based on two objectives and passions. One,
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: as you know, Harper is my nine year old who
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: is amazing, and he's on an autism spectrum.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: Jay.
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: Society won't tell Harper what he can't do, and society
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: will not dictate to Harper what job he's going to get.
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: It is my responsibility to create a system model that
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: I can pass down to Harper, and Harper can choose.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: You will not limit him based on what you think
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: his limitations are. I would give him choices, right. So
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: Htre Capital Venture was started as a foundation for investments
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: in real estate for him to be able to choose
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: if he wants to work within that business. That's one.
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  Speaker 2: And number two, I've been studying families and how they
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: establish wealth and ownership and assets. And I don't care
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: what we do in life. Real estate is the always
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: on asset. Yeah, And I've been investing in real estate
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: since I was twenty four years old, and I describe
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: it as I was on the wrong side of real
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: estate my first ten plus years, and now I'm on
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: the right side of real estate, understanding how to really acquire,
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: how to do joint ventures, how to broker deals right.
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: And so I look at that as if I was
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: sitting in front of someone and they wanted to limit me,
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: they would say, Oh, Danille, I mean, okay, so you're
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: a global strategist, you're an executive operator, you're a philanthropist,
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: you're a mom. Are you getting into real estate? I
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: mean what I mean, who are you? What do you
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: want to do? Yes? I am all of that Because
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: if a man was sitting here, you'll call him a mogul.
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: So Danielle Sarcy Jones is all of that. I would
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: be everything that I need to be for my kids
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: and everything that I need to be to respect all
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: the people whose shoulders that I stand on that have
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: gotten me to this moment.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: Would you I want to go back when? Because I'm
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: sure that there are some mothers that are watching, that
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: are navigating children that are going through certain childesna artisan
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: is on the spectrum. What was that like as a
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: mother when you receive that diagnosis.
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: Very similar to the woman that you're describing. Now. I
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: knew there was a concern. Harper was one. He was
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: already counting to ten in Spanish at one. Yes, Harper
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: was saying his ABC's. He was giving me eye to
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: eye contact. And then Jay one day, that ill stopped.
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: He stopped looking at me directly, he stopped speaking, he
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: stopped anentery. When we called his name, he started flapping,
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: which is this? And so we got his speech therapy
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: for six months and I told Darnell, I said, this
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: is not working. I want to have a talk with her.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: And the speech therapist was pregnant, and I knew I
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: had to be very sensitive with addressing her. But what
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: I saw was not progression. After six months of therapy,
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: I saw a digression and so I called her and
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: I said, listen, this is off the record, but I
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: need you to tell me what is going on with
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: my son. They're something deeper. I know it is and
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: I feel it. And she said, I cannot give you
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: a diagnosis. And he is at this stage under two
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: and it's going to be a mini therapists that will
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: tell you diagnosing a child under two years old is
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: not according to protocol. But what I would do is
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: I would go and start getting him tested, because yes,
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: I've been working with Harper for six months now and
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: I do not see him getting better. And I said,
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: tell me some of the signs. I immediately went into
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: clinical Danielle, because you know I have a healthcare background,
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: and she started telling me some of the signs and
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: I said, again, oper record, what do we need to do.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: The hardest fart Jed was when I called her now
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: and I had to break this down to him as
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: a man talking about his son, and I could feel
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: Darnell wanting to resist what I was saying to him
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: and embrace at the same time and not know what
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: to do next, all of those emotions because he is
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: the head. Yeah, and now I'm coming to you with
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: something that we did not know that we were going
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: to face, and he doesn't have a solution to fix it.
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: So I immediately said, well, you are home, let's talk
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: about this. But I really believe that we need to
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: go into hearing testing, behavioral psychiatrists, really getting a full
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: diagnosis to understand what is going on with Harper. And
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: that's what we did. Harper went through several testing until
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: we discovered that yes, he is on the autism spreadul
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: I had never heard or knew what was autism at
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: that time. Jay I didn't askpers yes, right, but I
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: had never heard of autism. And going back to the
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: statement that I made, what was that like? I then
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: went into all right, he's got a diagnosis, but that's
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: not the definition of who he is. So what do
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: we do to ensure that we get him the help
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: that he needs, that we understand what is the gift
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: this inside of him in order for him to be great?
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: And Darnell and I have taken the bull by the
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: horn and we have embraced Harper in so many ways
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: and allow Harper to help us grow as individuals. I
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: know love at such a higher level because of Harper.
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, when when I started out practice and I as
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: a clinician, I work with kids that was on the
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: spectrum my professor of the time because we had to
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: do what they will call these supervision roots. And so
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: they were and course we got the diagnosis with my
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: niece and they said, well why why why that population
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: at nice said I want to be stretched in my
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: skill set. I said, I want to know what it's
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: like to understand how they see the world.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: And when I tell you, it made me an affected
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: therapist because what you just said, it taught you guys
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: how to throw and how to love. And I will
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: often tell families, Danielle when they said, well, this is
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: what's going on without kids, this is what has happened.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: And I will say to them, is that he came
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: to you like this. Yes, So it's not him that
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: has to change, absolute, that has to change. Absolutely. She
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: came to you like this. You're going to have to
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: change your system for her to fit into this. Yeh.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: And I love that you you you uh, you know
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: provided that contextually because I think it colors a backdrop
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: that there are uncertain pease of life that happens to us. All. Yeah,
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: you are changing the world with your inventions and your
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: global strategists and you are an executive operator. But now
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: you have this diagnosis. Yeah, And I think.
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: Well, it's all by design, all by design. It's all
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: by design. When you think of the greats right athletes,
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: Michael Jordans, we'll just stop there, Kolbe, there was never
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: a point in their life they were publicly winning, but
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: they were in pain for a purpose. Privately, I know
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: that come on, God gives us exactly what we need
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: to ground us and keep us connected. Yes, my strength
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: comes from him, my answers. I don't move until he
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: says yes. And with Harper and this diagnosis, Darnell and
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: I or living life doing breat we had had I
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: hardly was our miracle baby. Because I had dealt with
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: Fiwards since the age of twenty one. I didn't think
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: that I could have children. So Harper hardly was the
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: miracle baby, my twelve year old. And then to think
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: that Harper. As a matter of fact, I had told Darnell,
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: I'll never forget. It was all star in Toronto right
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: before you were gone, and I said, Harley is a mess.
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: She is enough. You good because what child for me?
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: I'm good? And he was like, you know, I did
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: want to board, but I understand that it was so
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: difficult for me to give birth to Harley. We had
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: said we were good. I didn't think that I could
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: get pregnant again. Fast forward, I wasn't feel oh well.
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: Two weeks later from that time, for we were making
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: up the bed and I was like, there is something
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: going on. I said to myself I'm gonna take a
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: pregnancy test before we go to Asar. And what happened.
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: I was pregnant with Harper.
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: Hartley was a miracle baby from Flyboys. Harper was my
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: miracle baby to teach me about life, to ground me
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: at every turn, to help me understand that this is
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: so I don't care what accomplishment you have. This is
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: so not about you. This is so much bigger than you.
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: So we're gonna give you someone. You and Darmel and
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: I thank God that he thought that we were so
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: special to allow someone like Harper to come into our life.
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: But I'm gonna give you someone to be extra motivation
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: and to be grounded in everything that you impact that
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: is greater than you. I would take that all day long.
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: If that's the purpose for us discovering this. And I
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: don't say disability, I say his unique abilities so that
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: we can be blessed as a result.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: And it.
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he's amazing, you know.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: And and what I love about this is that God
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: but that this would be your perspective. Wow, wow, He
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: knew that you would have this perspective. He knew that
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: you wouldn't look at this as a why.
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: Me ainto was so also that validates the favor that
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: I believe is over my life.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: It's because the way you stow it then, yeah, they
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: had the way. Should he trust you with?
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: I am thankful?
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: I uh uh hey, M.
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: Got that Gottle Toilet show.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: And what made me thought of that is I was
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: sitting in therapy once and uh and I said to
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: my therapist I said, man, I feel like, all right,
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: I hold you. Yeah, and he says, wife, because he
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: satan and you survived. I said, yeah, I might. You
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: know every days something I got pay him back? He
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: said no, he said he knew that you would do
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: exactly what you're doing and how you would respire ab
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: as a body. So I recognize that in you because
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: we could have seen life so differently after having these
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: what some would say very transforming sort of storiedline.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, tragedies.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: Tragedies some would say catastrophic and some people would would
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: be extreme. Right, And and that's why God hands is
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: on everything that you do, because you're not only stewarding
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: your son, you're also stewarding his child. Yeah, it's your son,
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: his child. Yeah, And I truly believe that sometimes and
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: I think if we look at it the way that
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: you look at it, Danielle to say, you know what,
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: if this is the deal, absolutely, because I think it's
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: the way that God balanced the books. So Paul talks
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: about happens thorn in his side that you why don't
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: you remove that thing? Now? I gotta keep that thing
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: and that to remind you where it all comes from.
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, you know.
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: You're Trudy. Mmm, what do they mean to you? And man,
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: my question is a two part for you. What do
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: they mean to you? And how have they healed you? Mm?
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, So Hartley Rose and Harper Jazz Jones. My children
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: need everything to me.
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: Jay.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: I love being the mall. I take that responsibility so seriously.
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: I literally have these children in my hands and my
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: choices and how I train them up will decide if
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: they are productive citizens in this society, what I expose
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: them to, what I don't expose them to. They are
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: my source of everything, and they pushed me closer to
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: God every single day, every day. And what was the
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: second part of your question, Oh do you come with
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: this healing? Man? Children don't give you a chance to
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: stay in a unhealed state. They don't. First of all,
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: it's your children that will make fun of you the most.
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: It's your children that will call you out. Oh, Hartley
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: does it all the time. It's your children that will
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: rat on you, right, And it's your children. When you
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: look at them, you realize that if you don't heal,
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: oh my gosh, that trauma is something that you're going
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: to pass down instead of legacy. Are you kidding me? Jay?
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: Every day the healing process for me is underway because
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: I refuse from my children to be in fondage based
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: on a lesson that I didn't understand how to get through.
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: Are you kidding me?
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: Come on?
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: No? So, and I've never been asked that question. How
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: have my children helped me heal? Oh my gosh, it
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: is that desire to ensure I love Tiai's on trauma,
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: bon and I get the twist on trauma Bon. It
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: will be a good trauma bond that they will remember.
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: It will not be you are unable, Hartley, to get
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: in an incredible relationship and get married for fifty years.
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: Because your mom and dad were married for eleven. It
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: will not be a situation where Hartley, you have to
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: go through a traditional school, go to undergraduate and get
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: a BS and then go get your master's degree because
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: that's what your mom did. No, I want to look
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: at you and understand what your gifts are, and we
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: are going to hone in on how we make you successful.
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: Whether you go to graduate school or whether you get
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: a high school diploma, it does not matter. You will
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: not go through just any kind that I've been hurt
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: with friendships and me not reflecting on what could I
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: have done better, or to put that friendship in a
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: box that it was a season and learn from it.
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: You will not stay bitter as a result of relationships ended.
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: There's so many things that as I think about things
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: that I've had to heal from and still healing from,
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: I refuse to allow my children to go through that. Yeah,
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: So that's how they really I've never thought through that, Jay,
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: So thank you for that. Yeah.
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: No, I love how you really explod it or passing
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: down legacy versus passing out generation is stronger. And I
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: think that's the majority of what us, particularly in the
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: black community, are trying to navigate too, because what do
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: you do when you have a legacy of poverty? Yeah,
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: and I'm not just speaking from the financial aspect, but
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: just a Polish mindset, and you have an impoverished thought process.
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: There is a thought processing lack for you to think
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: about abundance. It makes you uncomfortable because I think often
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: times with us, but the trauma that we've experienced, particularly
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: black folks again, is that it's difficult for you to
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: think about abundance when much of your history has been
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: tied to lack.
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: That's huge.
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: It's it's hard, you know because on one end, I'm
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: telling you that they hired, but at your core, the
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: social engineering, the internal engineering, the blueprint of your thinking
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: is tied to what you couldn't be, what you couldn't do.
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: It's the systemic oppression, right, it's all that is the microaggression,
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: even for those who tend to to ASSSD right, you
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: know I've gone through that. Well you speak well for
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: black men, Yeah, wow, you can articulate. Then, well it
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: was an athlete. I kind of like, what did you expect?
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: And so when you think about those days, and you know,
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: you was like, man, some of us are trying to
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: undo things that our parents don't even have the understanding
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: that they were even entable with. So what you're giving
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: to your children, ultimately, it is freedom.
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: Mm hmm, thank you.
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: It's freedom. How does that feel to know that you've
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: already boken the cuts, Jade?
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: To hear you break down the systemic oppression the way
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: that you did it puts triple exclamation marks on how
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: it feels, because we're talking about arguably two hundred and
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: sixty five years plus right of oppression. And to know
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: that the progress that women black people have made, well,
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: we started way back in the line and we've been
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: able to push through and gain assets, keep our minds stable,
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: just to keep about my stable, do all of the
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: gymnastics of light bulb and a system that is not
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: designed for us that we're navigating through triple exhalation parks.
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: That's how it feels, and that's what I'm saying for
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: you to have this mindset. What's silly? You know what
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: I mean? I mean, what's sial? I mean, like, listen
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: for those of the watch, and I just won't take
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: this moment and just give us a holy pause, a
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: whole lot a holy pause, which means that this pause
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: is sacred. And to say that it's sacred because for
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: the women that are watching, the women that are gleaning
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: from this amazing, powerful woman and what I love at
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: you guys to get to hear and see is that
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: there are some battles that she's had to overcome ivan Lea,
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: you know, because her here's a date. And I said
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: this on the Breakfast Club, and I say this often,
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: is that I don't want to just be a public
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: success and a private feeling. And what happens oftentimes is
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: that we're so caught up in how people show up
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: and publicly that we don't consider or we don't even
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: process what they have to overcome privately. And so for
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: you to for her to share a private about her child,
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: because for something that are watching, it may not be
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: the child. Maybe it's the marriage for some of you,
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: maybe it's the report that the doctor. Yet for some
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: of you, maybe it's the family member that you keep
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: trying to do away with what was do and what
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: was said, and you find it difficult to move forward.
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: And what I want you to take from just this
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: holy pause is to give yourself a moment to sit
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: with whatever that is and to allow yourself to feel it,
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: to allow yourself to embrace it, because you're not embracing
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: it because you want to hold on to it. You're
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: embracing it because you need to connect with it. And
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: then I want you to begin to allow on it
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: to leave in whatever way. Maybe it's you got to
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: go for a walk, and maybe you say, man, I
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: need to pause this because you're watching a woman who's
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: living it in real time and fact she's healing in
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: real time, healing while still achieving. Because we have gotten
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: so caught up to where people think that they can't heal,
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: and they I gotta heal, then I gotta pause or
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: I gotta stop this. No, you can go can do ball.
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: Well, first of all, it's a continual there's no stop.
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: It's a stop and continue. And I look at I mean,
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: whether this is leadership, whether this is being a mom.
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: That healing process has to be a progression in every
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: season of your life because there'll be so many things
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: that trigger the setback come on, and so you have
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: to make sure that you acknowledge God it don't me yet.
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: Mm hmm, yeah, A hear that looking at Cameron, tell
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: them there.
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: Lit'st say God desires us to either be going through
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: the valley, are coming out of the valley. There's gonna
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: always be trials that we're going through. So that healing
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: process has to be progressive at every season that we're in.
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: It's by design, and so that's why I believe mindset,
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, mindset is so impulsive. It's how you
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: your perspective and how you shift the lens of the
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: camera based on every trial or drayma that you have.
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: Are you gonna shift it where it's fuzzy and you
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: just gonna sit there and let life happen to you,
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: or you're gonna shift it to where it's not pixelated
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: and it's very clear because you're operating in the spirit
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: of God, and you're gonna move because He's told you,
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: let's move.
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: Come on, you teach her, come on.
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: And that I thank God, I thank god. I have
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: been this way my entire life. Jay no Lie. I
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: had always looked at everything from the time when my
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: parents got a divorce when I was five years old
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: to growing up with my mom as a single mom,
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: and she gave me everything at times when she had nothing.
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: I even give somebody everything when you have nothing as
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: a teacher on a teacher's salary, and you are giving me.
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: I didn't skip a beat from my clothes dressed to
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: the Naye to the schools, to the activities, to everything.
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: And she's got a child in college, one in the navy,
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: and she did the best that she could in everything.
• 44:04
  Speaker 2: I've had this mindset just watching her and her village
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: as to how you navigate through life and how you
• 44:13
  Speaker 2: change your perspective to where it is positive. It's so simplistic.
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: Instead of feeling like I'm going to be a Debbie
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: Downer in every situation that happens to me, No, I'm
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: gonna I'm gonna turn this situation around to how it's
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: the lesson and I've added this and that lesson becomes
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: an asset. I'm gonna move the lesson to an asset.
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: Cartail moment.
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: Oh we got one, walwor turn the lesson into the asset.
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: Turn the lesson into an asset j C. J. We
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: we about to have as an assets because all the
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: lessons we got.
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: Jay seriously.
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: That this is a that was not flesh and blood
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: that revealed that to you.
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: Oh, I get listen. I ask God my prayers. Don't
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: give me Danny downloads. Give me God downloads. Make sure
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: they're not Danny downloads. And when I tell you, when
• 45:25
  Speaker 2: God gives me things that I know. I didn't study,
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: I didn't go to school for I haven't lived through it.
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: How should I know how to define what assets are right?
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: And when he gave me the turning lessons into an asset.
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: I can either go through life and I can learn
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: a lesson, or I can apply that lesson to actually
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: be something that is tangible, that is valuable and worth,
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: something that I can literally pass down for instances, say
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: you purchase the house. In the first purchase of your house,
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: you actually lost money. That is a complete lesson. How
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: am I going to acquire real estate? Live in this house,
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: invest in this house, and I sell it and I
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: lose money? You can even to take that lesson and
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: you can go and acquire more real estate and I'm
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: gonna make twenty percent profit. Or you're gonna say, how
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: am I gonna study this to put a system in
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: place to understand knowledge as to how people are acquiring
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: this asset in order for it to be a part
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: of the portfolio to pass down to generations. That's the
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: mindset that we have to have going through lessons. You
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: can apply that to anything, Jay, anything, all.
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: Right, God today that that that that is going to
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: stay with me turning your lesson into an asset. And
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: what is asset needs to you?
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah? I believe that they are two people in life
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: this category. You'd be a consumer or you'd be an
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: asset owner. I'm so tired of being a consumer. Hm,
• 47:38
  Speaker 2: I'm so tired of consuming things. I ain't going to
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: take an old assets moving forward. So asset truly is
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: an opportunity for us to create value in our life
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: that is sustainable. M.
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: Peter, you would call it an appreciation, appreciative value.
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: Appreciative body princess for those that drink wine all the time.
• 48:14
  Speaker 2: Let's let's look at let's look at some data. So
• 48:17
  Speaker 2: let's look at let's look at our generation and our race.
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: Mm hmmm.
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: We are the beers, biggest consumers of things, biggest consumers.
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: Right when we look at the amount of money that
• 48:40
  Speaker 2: we from our shoes, whether they're Jordan Pulmas, What have
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: you or Designer Gucci? Do we own stock in those
• 48:51
  Speaker 2: companies if we believe in it so much? We are consuming?
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: Why and we have collected line? Do we know how
• 49:03
  Speaker 2: to turn wine and have a collection where it's truly
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: passed down?
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: Art?
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: Same thing? Right? We're buying these cars. Are we working
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: with our CPA depreciative belve as soon as you drive
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: it out the lot, So we're working with our CPA
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: to understand tax rules on how to take a car
• 49:27
  Speaker 2: and instead of it being a depreciating asset where it
• 49:31
  Speaker 2: is actually going to leverage your debt and it becomes
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: an asset or you have one, are we collecting cars
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: that are actually assets instead of buying and spending our
• 49:48
  Speaker 2: money on all these cars that are getting us into debt.
• 49:53
  Speaker 2: My mindset through the lessons, it is truly about archet systems.
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: I told someone recently on the panel. They talked about
• 50:06
  Speaker 2: being a hustler and how that was synonymous with entrepreneurship
• 50:11
  Speaker 2: and being a founder. I said, don't call me a hustler.
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: I don't want to hustle anymore. I am building business
• 50:19
  Speaker 2: it's exhausting. I am building businesses as a system's architect.
• 50:26
  Speaker 2: If I can't put a system in place where it's
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: working while I'm asleep at night, something is wrong. Some
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: are it's not a true business model. You're not truly
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: developing assets. And it took me a long time Jay
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: to speak like this with such confidence. That's how I
• 50:46
  Speaker 2: know it's a died dialogue. No, literally, he is allowing
• 50:52
  Speaker 2: me to develop a business model based on this problem
• 50:59
  Speaker 2: that I've had throughout the years of how do I
• 51:03
  Speaker 2: just get ahead? How do I stop making money and
• 51:11
  Speaker 2: develop a portfolio of wealth? And so I my personal journey.
• 51:21
  Speaker 2: I want to be truthful about that and unpack that
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: for individuals. Right, you've got I've you know, created these
• 51:31
  Speaker 2: three classes, those that are creating wealth, those that have
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: emerging wealth, and those that are high net worth. Well,
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: how do we take a system model from the high
• 51:43
  Speaker 2: net worth, right, and we pass it down to those
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: that are creating that's nine to nine percent of the
• 51:51
  Speaker 2: world f y. I yes, yes, yeah, I stopped because
• 51:58
  Speaker 2: I can keep up.
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: Listen, this is I want to say, this has been phenomenal.
• 52:08
  Speaker 2: I mean I avoided you. I'm glad. I'll let you
• 52:10
  Speaker 2: tell you.
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: Because listen there, y'all don't want to give me this
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: interview like Opra you next listen, listen, she don't want
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: to give me this interview. This this, this, this this
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: is like you know when they do those top fifty
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: and women and this and that that you all needs
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: to be on all of these categories, Top twenty, top thirty,
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: top ten, top fifty, top forty, Like, did you guys
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: really listen to the wealth of wisdom that she just shared?
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: Turn your lesson into an asset? Oh? God, that that
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: that is like that's oh man. You can chew on
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: that man for all man, like just for a while,
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: to just really let it die, jests. So Yo, when
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: it's all set and done, yeah, and you're sitting in
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: your rocking chair and you're looking back over your life.
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: M And this is the question that my mentors ask me.
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: You're ninety years old, we sitting on your rock and
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: charity you like, and you're looking back over your life.
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: You know, he said, always said, Jay, what's going to
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: stand out to you? M hm? And I know this
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: is difficult pushing you because you gotta go, you know,
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: forty years ahead, fifty years ahead, right, you got to
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: be like all right, let me, let me, let me
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: try to get way up there at the see. But
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: when you think about that question and kind of like
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: and you don't have to yo vibe much.
• 53:44
  Speaker 2: But cdzy, it's really easy Jerry. Yeah, it's how I
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: aspire people to keep going.
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: Mhmm.
• 53:54
  Speaker 2: That's it. I want to be a light for Sola's legacy.
• 54:05
  Speaker 2: I want you never to give up. I want you
• 54:08
  Speaker 2: to when times are most difficult and the math is
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: not mathing and your heart is at the heaviest. If
• 54:23
  Speaker 2: there is something that I've done to show you that
• 54:27
  Speaker 2: this too shall past and that this feeling will not last,
• 54:35
  Speaker 2: that is a life well lived. I don't want to
• 54:38
  Speaker 2: make it that difficult. I just life is hard. Life
• 54:43
  Speaker 2: is hard, and if I can encourage people to keep
• 54:47
  Speaker 2: going based on my life being an inspiration, I be
• 54:53
  Speaker 2: like God giving me that take to get right over that.
• 54:57
  Speaker 2: That's all I could do, all in one of you.
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, oh man, that's abusive. We always end with this
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: question to every guess. This podcast is just heal and
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: conversation to our healing transforming cathartic u hirirate someone shoots
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: to receive that for you. When you think about that
• 55:29
  Speaker 1: word healing, what does that mean to you?
• 55:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's the art of understanding that life is a
• 55:53
  Speaker 2: progression a pain of happiness and of overcoming.
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: Progression of pain.
• 56:08
  Speaker 2: Happiness and overcoming happeness.
• 56:10
  Speaker 3: So it's the art of knowing that the art it's
• 56:15
  Speaker 3: healing is really the mindset of being able to navigate
• 56:23
  Speaker 3: through those stages of life it is.
• 56:30
  Speaker 2: I don't believe that it's a constant. I believe that
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: it is fluid.
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: M it moves, it moves.
• 56:38
  Speaker 2: Jay, I do not believe that there's anything that I
• 56:43
  Speaker 2: have healed from that I can't be triggered to go
• 56:50
  Speaker 2: back into a state of pain and being unhealed. I
• 56:57
  Speaker 2: don't believe that. So is the constant you and I
• 57:01
  Speaker 2: talk about this is the constant work that you have
• 57:04
  Speaker 2: to go through and the art of understanding that it's
• 57:08
  Speaker 2: going to be that constant flow of work across all
• 57:12
  Speaker 2: of those different emotions that you experienced throughout life.
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, wow.
• 57:22
  Speaker 2: Fluidity, that's really fluidity, moving, moving and grooving. Why is
• 57:32
  Speaker 2: happening to you?
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: You know what I say? One, it creates momentum, Yes
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: it does. If you move, man, you pick up the moment.
• 57:43
  Speaker 2: That's all you have to do and get moving. That's right.
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: It's as you taller. I'm thinking about Jesus when he
• 57:51
  Speaker 1: told the man with the withered hand, he said, stretch
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: forth to your hand. He had to move. I think
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: sometimes you're trying to heal and not more because it's
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: like nine it's to day, like we got it.
• 58:08
  Speaker 2: But the example that you just gave. All he asks
• 58:12
  Speaker 2: is to stretch forth your hands. All he wants us
• 58:21
  Speaker 2: to do is have faith the size of a mustard seed.
• 58:25
  Speaker 2: A lot of us asking, but we ain't doing the work.
• 58:28
  Speaker 2: We ain't moving.
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: We're going on stretching. No move. Yeah, Danielle, thank you.
• 58:38
  Speaker 2: This is a good morning spent.
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: For the bottom, from the bottom of my heart, for
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: this powerful moment session. I'm not calling this his energy.
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: This was a massive class. You just did a massive
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: class on what it's like to heal and achieve owns
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: the same time. That's what we want to call this episode.
• 59:05
  Speaker 2: Heal and achieve all at the same.
• 59:07
  Speaker 1: Time, healing while achievement.
• 59:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And for look and if my past is well watching,
• 59:13
  Speaker 2: it will be healing and achieve and all of the
• 59:15
  Speaker 2: same with this.
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, something I gotta put that in the pastor listen. Guys,
• 59:23
  Speaker 1: I want to say, I hope you have enjoyed this conversation,
• 59:28
  Speaker 1: of this discussion, this masterclass wood my good friend Danielle Serenci.
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: You may know her as a global strategist, an executive operator,
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: and an inventor, but she's a woman that's on a
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: mission to leave a legacy of wealth, not just to
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: her children, but to you, because you know, the real
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: wealth is not in money, it sending information. It's right,
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: that's where the real wealth is. And I hope you
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: take this discussion and you use the wealth that she's
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 1: given you and given us today and you allow it
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 1: to propel you to your next because I truly feel
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: that some of you you can't stress for off your
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: hand because you don't have the information that you need. Yeah,
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: and so it keeps you in the syble of making
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: poor decisions. And there's levels because there's poor decision, bad decisions.
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 1: Then you have a good decision, best decision, but that
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 1: final one is where you want to get to. You
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: begin making legacy decisions. That's what you want to do. Listen, guys,
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: I want to say thank you for joining me. As always,
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: I am the host, Doctor J. And you have been watched.
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 1: You just here with Doctor J. And until next time,
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 1: remember heally is a journey and wholeness is the destination.
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: Keep doing the work. Just here over, Doctor J. A
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: production of the Black Effect podcast Network. For more podcasts
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
• 1:01:07
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• 1:01:10
  Speaker 1: me at King J Barnett on Instagram and x and
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: follow us on YouTube Just here, Doctor J.