Latest / Miss Understood with Rachel Uchitel / “Mob Wives” Star Renee Graziano Takes Us From Relapse to Redemption

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“Mob Wives” Star Renee Graziano Takes Us From Relapse to Redemption · Miss Understood with Rachel Uchitel

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  Speaker 1: real conversations in a new language today. Welcome back guys
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: to Misunderstood. I'm Rachel, you could tell. So my guest today,
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: I feel like you guys all know her, Renee Graziano.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: I got to sit down with her and it was
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: long overdue. We had planned, we talk about it in
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: the episode, but we had planned to sit down a
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: couple months ago and then she kind of disappeared and
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: it ended up, If you've seen the news recently that
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: she admits that she had a near fatal drug overdose
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: in a restaurant, she was hospitalized for about a week.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: And that really, you know, gave her the eye opening
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: experience and the rock bottom of that we all have
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: heard about to sort of clean up her act. She's
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: moved from Florida to LA. So we didn't get to
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: do it in person this time, but we did finally
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: get together and have this amazing conversation where she's so
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: raw and honest about everything. She's such a huge personality.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: She's in the news a lot. Obviously we got connected
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: by this mutual friend and I've always thought she has
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: an amazing story to tell. So for those of you
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: not familiar with Renee, She was, you know, on the
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: show Mob Wives, which was a huge hit. She grew
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: up in New York City, or excuse me, in New York.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: She's the daughter to Anthony Graziano, a former consigliere to
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: the Bonanno crime family. Her ex-husband, Hector Pagan Jr., actually
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: became a DEA informant and gave evidence against Renee's father.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: I mean, talk about like a real life soap opera.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: Renee has struggled with addiction over the years and been
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: very open and honest about it. And as I said,
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: this past year, she did overdose. And now she is
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: on a new path to addiction. sobriety, recovery, and helping others.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: So I really loved our conversation. So many people these
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: days walk on eggshells worrying about offending someone or talking
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: about their problems with addiction. So she really opens up.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: She talks honestly. And since getting sober, she has such
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: a positive outlook on life. She's a real mom of theirs.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: You can tell how her relationships with her family are
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: her number one priority. She's really led an extraordinary life.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: And I know you guys are going to go nuts
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: over this one. So please enjoy my conversation with my friend,
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Renee Graziano. Renee, it's such a pleasure to have you here.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: I've been trying to get you on the show for
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: a couple months now.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: Thank you. Thank you for having me. Pleasure to finally meet.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: Yes, I know. So I want to start by saying
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: we did have a time set to meet up maybe
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: three months ago here when you were still living in
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: Palm Beach, in the Palm Beach area. And I was
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: so excited we were going to go to dinner and
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: have a great time. But you ended up having a
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: little mishap, which I think is what ended up happening,
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: which I will say is almost great that it happened
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: because you are that much better for what you went through.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: Do you want to talk to people about what I'm
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: talking about?
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: Sure, absolutely. So I had a relapse back in September
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: that was unexpected and extremely harsh, but I firmly believe
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: I needed it to happen in order for me to
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: be where I am right now in my life. I've
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: struggled with addiction. I will tell you, probably since I'm
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: a little child, and it was with attention. Men, as
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: I grew older, it wasn't drugs until all of those
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: things didn't add up in my life. There was always
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: that empty space inside of me that I couldn't fill
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: no matter what. And I think after my very abusive
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: marriage is really where I went off the deep end,
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: because it was domestic violence. He's also my abuser. And
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: I say that trying to be as politically correct, but
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: if you could think of every word that comes before abuse,
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: he's my abuser. And I say that because my son
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: is 29 now. And I really don't like to, I
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: feel embarrassed for my son, you know, for him to
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: know that his mother's a sexual assault survivor. So it's,
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: it's rough. Yeah.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So, you know, you bring up your childhood and
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: the fact that it doesn't necessarily start with the drinking
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: and the alcohol. It starts with the toxic relationships or
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: a feeling of not being worthy of missing something, of
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: aching for some connection almost. I mean, I never, you know,
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: I was on celebrity rehab. I was on it for
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: love addiction. I definitely had some, you know, benzos addictions, like,
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: you know, with trying to get to sleep. But I
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: was always feeling, you know, I really had a love
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: addiction that stemmed from my childhood, from not... you know,
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: getting that kind of warmth and acceptance and comfort from anyone. And,
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: you know, I'm not blaming anyone because it's something probably
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: innate that you need to figure out how to fill.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: And when you don't fill that, then eventually it can
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: move to substances. Do you remember the first time that
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: you started with a substance that you were like, oh, okay,
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: this is going to be my thing. This kind of
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: makes me feel better. And I'm filling this hole and
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: I can go this direction.
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  Speaker 2: So my addiction, I was never a drinker. Mine just
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: went to cocaine. And I think it's and I shouldn't
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: say I didn't drink. You know, it was champagne and cocaine.
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: It was that rich white girl mob lifestyle. But cocaine
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  Speaker 2: didn't fill the void. It was just something to stop
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: my brain from drinking. thinking about the void. And I
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: think after I was sexually assaulted in 2007, I was
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: a a patient in a hospital and I was attacked,
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: it was then that the Xanax became, and I was
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: 37 the first time I started comfort of, okay, it
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: doesn't feel bad anymore because I can sleep through it.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: And if there's seven days in a week, I can
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: sleep for maybe three and only have to deal with four,
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: I'm good. And that's like a really scary thought, right?
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: But it was my thought process because of the pain
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: being it was excruciating. And no one in my family
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: but me is an addict. You know, I'm sure everybody
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: has little addictions, but nobody had a drug addiction aside
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: from me. Right. Yeah.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: And it's interesting because it goes many ways. Some families,
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: they can be plagued with addiction in all ways. And
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: some people stay away from it. My father, unfortunately, I
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: don't know if you know this about me. My father
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: died of a cocaine overdose when he was 44 and
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: I was 15. And, you know, so many people talk
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: about him and his addiction and what that looked like.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: But they rarely talk about the people that are left behind.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: You know, so you now are a grandmother, a parent.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: And and I would think that part of your recovery
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: every time I know you've had to do it every
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: time has when it can't be about you yet. I
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: would think that it becomes about them wanting to get
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: better for them until you can make it about getting
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: better for you. Is that true?
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: So for me, I was writing a speech last night
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: because I have to speak at an event on Sunday and.
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  Speaker 2: And it was the first time I actually sat there
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  Speaker 2: and I said, if my addiction could have told me
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: that I was going to rob my son of 13
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: years of his life, I would have heard it. And
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: it was like this moment of, oh, fuck, did I
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: actually do that to the person that I created, to
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: the person God gave me as a gift? And I
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: really had a moment of clarity and I didn't sleep
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: last night. So it was this terrible feeling of I'm
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: a horrible mother. But then, you know, when my alarm,
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: I fell asleep around maybe seven this morning and my
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: eyes opened, I was like, no, I'm not. I'm here.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: I'm getting well. I'm not a horrible mother because I'm
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: the mother who doesn't quit no matter what. So I
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: think that if, you know, there's a parent out there
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: listening and they're in, you know, have trouble with addiction.
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: First of all, they can always reach out to me.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: I'll help anyone, but they need to stop. Like the
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: beating yourself up part is what keeps us really sick
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: because Because it's that guilt and that shame of I'm
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: not good enough. I'm not pretty enough. I'm not strong enough.
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: And when you come from a family like mine, you're
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: built on strengths, you know, and you're built on this integrity.
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: Kind of like a little weird to have integrity when
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  Speaker 2: you're a mob boss, however. One destination, endless experiences. Feel
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  Speaker 2: You have this integrity, and I was compromising mine. Because
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  Speaker 2: my soul has a hole in it. And that's the
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  Speaker 2: hole in the soul. That's what it is. And as
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: close as I am to God, Rachel, when I tell you,
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  Speaker 2: since I'm a little child, God has been my best friend,
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  Speaker 2: I still have that hole in my soul.
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  Speaker 1: In all the work that you've done, I'm curious if
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: you've come to figure out what that hole was from. Like,
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: what do you feel like would really fill it? Because
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: I think that's a question people struggle with and they
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: don't know if they'll ever figure that answer out.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: Well, you know what? My younger sister, Jennifer, you know, 4.0, valedictorian,
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: extremely intelligent. In first grade, she had an eighth grade
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: reading level. In eighth grade, I had an eighth grade
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: reading level. So I think it actually started around maybe
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: in like I would say maybe six, no, six or seven, right?
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: So my older sister used to tell me I was
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: the ugly duckling. So here I'm hearing I'm ugly and
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: the other side I'm hearing I'm not smart enough. So
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: I think that's exactly where it began. And it wasn't
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: our parents saying you're not smart enough. You know what
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: I mean? It was just like sibling rivalry. But because
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: I'm emotionally based and they're logically based, I feel they think.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: So I think that's what it is. And I really
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: do believe that a lot of people with addiction feel
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: as opposed to think. Well, for me, I know that's
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: a fact. Right.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: Well, but it's true that there are a lot of
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: chemical imbalances that can create depression and things like that.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: But I do believe that there are things that happen
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: in your life excuse me, whether it be as in
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: your childhood or even situations that happen as you get
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: a little older that make you innately feel certain ways.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: You know, I have never been diagnosed with clinical depression,
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: but I've definitely been treated for depression. I've gone through
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: terrible things that I, it was obvious that I was
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: depressed about and I had a reason to be, but
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: I still, you know, it's interesting listening to you talk.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: I actually don't think about this that much, but in
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: hearing you speak, I've always, I do notice there's like a, uh,
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: like a base level of a little bit of sadness there,
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: you know, like a base level of something's missing. And I,
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: you know, I might try and fill it with a
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: relationship or I might try and fill it with getting
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: really busy or finding some sort of purpose. I can't
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: sit still. So everyone I think deals with an addiction
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: or filling this hole in a different way. So that's
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: what I thought of when you were talking. I want,
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: I want to ask you a couple more questions on
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: addiction because you've been in treatment a number of times.
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: Do you think everyone needs to hit a rock bottom
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: to be able to start Their climb up?
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: Not everybody. Some people can get it. Me, I couldn't
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: get it. What happened to me this last time, there
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: was no lower. The next step under was death.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: You were in the hospital for a while, right?
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: Yes. I was in the hospital for about a week.
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: And I am... It was... So from my understanding, because
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: I was actually intubated for a couple of days, I
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: died in a restaurant. And my family got a phone
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: call and they said they didn't think I was going
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: to make it. And nobody showed.
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: That's terrible. Terrible, right?
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: No, it's not for them. They couldn't.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: No, I get it. I mean, it's a terrible position
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: to be in. And I remember as the outsider, I
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: didn't even know you. We just had been talking on
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: text and hearing that. And I know that I had
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: texted with you a couple of times and I think
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: it still took you a little bit to want to
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: admit to even your friends. I know you had to
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: have that couple that you're friends with that lesbian couple
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: down there that I love. I think they're the greatest.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: And our other mutual friend, you didn't really want to
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: admit what was happening, obviously, until you got to the
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: point you needed to.
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, it wasn't... I have no problem admitting what
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: I do. It was the circumstances surrounding it that involved
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: a very dear friend who sent somebody there. So my
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: initial thought is, he got to go. That's my initial thought.
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: So for me, I had to seriously think about what
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: I was going to say if it was going to
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: be handled a different way. However... I cannot blame anyone
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: for what I do. That person made a mistake and
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: gave me something he should have never given me. But
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: it really started with me making the phone call. So
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: I was stuck between a rock and a hard place
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: and I was being pressured to.
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: Don't miss a minute of United Soccer League action. The
• 19:36
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• 19:41
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• 19:45
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• 19:50
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• 19:54
  Speaker 3: what's next. Visit uslchampionship.com or uslleague1. com for complete listings. Find
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  Speaker 3: your local club and be part of what's next.
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: Press charges, and I'm not pressing charges. I'll pin you
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: up against a wall or have somebody do it for me,
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: but I'm not pressing charges. So that's what it was.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: I'm not embarrassed. I'm a human being that goes through
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: things differently than the next person. Is my family embarrassed? Absolutely.
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: My parents, my God, rest my father's soul. But my
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: mother is like traumatized for me. And again, like I
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: was saying, writing my speech last night, I had to
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: sit there and think. What can I say to somebody
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: else to make them realize what they're doing to their mother,
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: their sisters, their brothers, their nieces, their nephews, their child?
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: And the only thing I can come up with at
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: the end of the day is if my addiction would
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: have told me that I was robbing people of their
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: happiness and peace, I would have fought harder.
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: And that's really what it's about. If you're not going
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: to fight, then you just lay down already. Because I
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: had someone that's very close, like a brother, commit suicide
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: in October.
• 21:18
  Speaker 4: And it took me by surprise. surprised because this man
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: had always been such a great protector, like a brother,
• 21:27
  Speaker 4: literally like a brother. So the disease started to now
• 21:31
  Speaker 4: grow inside of my head and like, okay, maybe, maybe
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: it's my time, but.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: I'm not a, I'm not a quitter. You know what
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: I mean? I fight. So it was that one second
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: that I said, hey, first of all, I'm Catholic on
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: top of it. So in my brain, I'm going to
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: hell if I commit suicide. This is what I think.
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: But I forget to remember, well, if you do drugs,
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: it's a sin, too, you know. But whatever it was
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: that got me where I am today and today is
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: I am. I am one week shy of four months.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: Amazing.
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: Thank you. Thank you.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: And I know there was a there was a little
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: bit of a sidestepping and some paths, but you ended
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: up with Lamar Odom at his treatment facility.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: Correct.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: And what I found interesting from what I read is
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: that you're doing trauma therapy there.
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: Which is different than just addiction therapy and the steps
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: and all that. What's what's different about doing this trauma
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: therapy there?
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: OK, so I and I some people that are listening
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: will say I'm wrong in what I'm saying, but this
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: is how I can do it. I'm not a drug
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: addict before I'm a depressed person. You know what I mean?
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: That's my addiction first. So for me, I had to
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: go and really take a deep dive and look at
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: what it is that I self-medicate over. So when I
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: thought about it, you know, having relatives and speaking from
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: a mob perspective, who's dead, who's murdered, who's in a trunk,
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: who's being blown up. And this is not like make-believe world.
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: This is real world for me. An ex-husband who is
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: now a confessed murderer, like all of that stuff, the
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: domestic violence, the rape, the abuse, I had to look
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: at like everything. And I'm like, oh shit, okay, now
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: it makes sense why I self-medicate. Who the fuck wouldn't,
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, am I okay first?
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're okay.
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: Who the fuck wouldn't self-medicate when their uncle's been blown up,
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: who's found in a trunk? You know, and I didn't
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: realize that was trauma for me because it was normal.
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: It was normal to wear black every damn day of
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: the week for a month straight while there's a huge
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: mob war going on and my friends are being murdered.
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: So for me, I had to really look at all
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: of it. And face the fact that one another thing
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: for me that popped up was my age. Like I'm
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: 24 and I'm single. I have had no successful relationships
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: after my ex-husband because of what I hold on to.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: And I think that that's another real reason for my
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: loneliness is because I push you out. because you can't,
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to let you hurt me. No, my
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: father died five, you know, it'll be five years in May.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: And that really was the, the demise. Like that was
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: the like landslide. I, I did, I wanted to be
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: with my father and it's so selfish to say as
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: a parent, but it's, it was my truth. Like I,
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: I miss him terribly on an everyday basis, but I'm
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: a grandmother of four children, you know, four grandbabies and
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: my son needs me. Yeah. Yeah.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: That's so emotional. I just want to say, you know,
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: that really resonates with me too, because I'm 49, as
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: I said, struggle with relationships, but I lost the two
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: people that were supposed to love you unconditionally as you
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: grow up, my father. And then I was engaged to
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: somebody who was killed and, um, in the world trade center.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: And that was terrible for a young girl. And I
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: haven't been able to like get my footing to figure
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: out how to have a trusting real relationship. Cause I'm
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: convinced they'll leave or something tragic will happen. Or so
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: I tend to leave first, um, you know, or, or
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: whatever I sabotage it, whether I mean to or not,
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: I would love to be in a relationship. It just
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: hasn't worked out yet. So maybe I need some trauma
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: therapy with.
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: But it will, because you know what, what I'm finding
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: now is it's God that's leading. Like when we continue
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: to lead, we're going to get the same results. But
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: if we can, you know, I've never been one to
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: be patient. You know, I have that. My sister, Jennifer
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: says I have that sense of entitlement. However, now I'm
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: finding out I'm a lot more humble than I used
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: to be. A lot more because when your child stops
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: talking to you for a good six months, and then
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: he ultimately, when I had made that phone call and
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: I said, AJ, I don't know if you're ever going
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: to see me again, but I want you to know.
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: And he was like, mom, hold on, mom. And he
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: had made the phone call for me.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: So.
• 26:26
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: Oddly. OK, good advice.
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: So I actually you brought up your childhood a lot.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: I think people are interested to know because you kind
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: of came on the scene to a lot of people
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: that watched your show Mob Wives as this bold, brash,
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: opinionated woman that kind of came out of nowhere. And
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: it was such a hit show at the time. But
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: I'm really curious who you were as a kid growing
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: up in that lifestyle. And I'm not talking about up
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: until the show, but like a little kid, like what
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: did you like to do? What was your life like?
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: You know, we all have seen like the Bronx tale
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: or something, you know, and so like, what was it
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: like for you?
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: I had answered my pants from like the second I
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: came out. I was, you know, forever dancing on coffee tables.
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: My mother told me she knew from when I was three,
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: she said, Renee, you're going to be on TV. And
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: it was just, I always wanted to put on a show.
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: And I, like I said, My addiction started with attention.
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: So it started back then. And I was forever throwing, like,
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: shows out of the garage. I was always doing something.
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: You know, I loved to swim. I loved the beach,
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: the monkey bars. I was just a normal kid, but
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: very hyperactive. So, you know, ADD, ADHD. So, you know,
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: I had trouble in school. I was bullied terribly. Terribly.
• 27:48
  Speaker 4: For what?
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: By two girls. I swear on everything holy. Michelle Maiano
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: and Danielle Jabbour. I'll never forget them.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: Are they still alive?
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: Just kidding. Yeah. They're not in as good shape as
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: I'm in. So they would always, you know, I was...
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: I had really big boobs. Like in fourth grade, I
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: was like a B already, you know? So the boys
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: always liked to hug me and they were jealous. So
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: they would say how ugly I was and this and that.
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: And I really took that on as part of my
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: persona as an ugly child. So therefore I have to
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: do all these things. Looking back, It was a complete lie. Like,
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: they only told me that because I received the attention
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: they didn't get. And, you know, it's sad because the girl, Michelle,
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: her father was actually found in the back of a car.
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: So when I think about all these things, I realize
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: she had problems as a child as well. So the
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: hate that I had for her had disappeared over the years.
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: And I learned a little bit more about myself and
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: being a very loving and compassionate kid. But I can
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: also tell you, I remember my first girl-boy party, boy-girl party.
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: And I got there and she invited me and then
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: made me go home. What? She was such a baby.
• 29:30
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• 29:35
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• 29:39
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• 29:43
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• 29:45
  Speaker 1: Oh, Renee.
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: Bitch, I autographed the first copy of my book when
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: I had my picture on the back of it. I
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: was like, this one's for you, babe.
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: That's so funny. Isn't that great when you get to
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: get back at them later? By being successful.
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: Not by putting them in the cement. That's not what
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: I meant.
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: And beautiful. Yes. Yeah.
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: So what were your aspirations growing up? It sounds like
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: you wanted to be an actress. You wanted to be
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: in front of the camera. Was that what you wanted
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: to do?
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: I wanted to be Lucille Ball and Carol Burnett with
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: a twist of Blondie and Joan Jett. Yeah. And a
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: whole lot of Diane Carroll. But my mother told me, Renee,
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: you can't be Diane Carroll. I was like, but why?
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: I don't understand.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: So did you did you know who your dad was
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: or what your dad was when you were growing up?
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: Um, no, I didn't, I didn't figure it all out
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: until I was about maybe 16. Um, and someone had
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: said to me, um, oh, that's TG's daughter. And they said,
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: oh yeah, father's a captain. I go, my father doesn't
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: drive a boat. And my friend looked at me and
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: he was like, and I was like, what do you,
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: he doesn't sail a ship. And I was serious. And
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: I went home and I was crying. I was like, dad,
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: is that why you're always on the road? And he
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: was like, oh my God, sit down, Renee.
• 31:05
  Speaker 4: You know?
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: It wasn't like a lot of kids learn about birds
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: and bees. And I learned about captains and soldiers. You
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: know what I mean? So when, when mob wives did
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: come about for me, that was, Oh, okay. I found
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: my niche. I can talk about what, where I come
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: from and make people understand that. the little bit of
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: the crazy that's in Renee, as well as all the
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: love that's in Renee. And I think that I think
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: it's a I think I was a beautiful disaster, you know,
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: and I'm fine with it. I'm fine with it because
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: I'm a real person. I didn't have to pretend like
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: a few other girls that were on. I'm not pretend
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: for what my nose is fake. That's about it on me.
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Like. That's how I feel
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: about it. I'm always going to be as true as
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: I possibly can. And you said even with my addiction,
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: you know, so yeah.
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: It's very clear that you were very close with your father.
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: I'm curious if there's one antidote that you have that
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: you got from him, either a saying or a lesson
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: that you really feel like he taught you growing up.
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: Yes. He always said, Renee, remain humble because God give
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: it and God take it. And my father, when I
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: tell you, I don't care what anybody in that street
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: has to say. My father was a very good man.
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: He saved a girl drowning in Prospect Park. He ran
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: into a burning building and saved the family. He clothed.
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: He buried my girlfriend's mom. He paid for everything. My
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: father was an incredible human. Okay, granted his job was
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: what it was, but I didn't know my father in
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: the street. I knew my father in the house. As
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: a man, yeah. to be this man that was never
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: going to let anything happen to his children. And, you know,
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: I also found out when my father passed away that
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: his sisters were sexually assaulted by the mother's, his mother's boyfriend.
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: So it started to make more sense to me why
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: my father was so Cover your arms. Like, I would
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: be like, Dad, it's like bathing suit weather. He's like,
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: get in the house. You know, and my father's one
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: of 11 and had seven sisters, seven, eight sisters. So,
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: you know, a lot more starts to make sense as
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: you grow, you know. And I loved him. Like, to me,
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: he was my superhero on earth, you know. I understand.
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: I hid a lot of things from him with my
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: domestic violence because, again, I was afraid of the repercussions
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: and I thought it would be my sin if this
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: man disappeared. However, I will say this. I wish I
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: would have told my father. And I stand on that.
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: I don't care who listens to me. I stand on
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: it because a man that does that to a woman
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: should not be able to breathe. Right. Right.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: Well, I understand that the only exception is, is that,
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: you know, there are men that abuse women, you in
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: your circumstance with your ex husband, let's say at least
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: he has a relationship with his children, which I mean,
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: if that's a good thing for children to have a father.
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: My ex-husband, he's not allowed around my family.
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: Really? Okay.
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: He should burn in hell. Like, I kid you not
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: when I say that. Like, I wish he would already. Like,
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: he has blood cancer. I'm like, you can't die, you
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: son of a bitch. Like, I'm sorry. I don't... But...
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: I can say that. This man abused me in every way, shape,
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: or form. This man cooperated with the government and put
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: my father in prison. This man had my son had
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: his head cracked open. So guess what? I wish you
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: would go already. You don't belong above ground. I get
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: that question a lot. Like, how do I feel about
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: it now that he's home? He came home like two
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: years ago and started threatening to murder me again. Like, dude,
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: could you give it up already? Leave me alone. Yeah.
• 35:12
  Speaker 4: All right.
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: Well, that's terrible. I didn't realize that part of it.
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah. He, that, he just, he just did an interview, Rachel, um,
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: talking about how he left me all this money. You
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: left me crumbs. You didn't leave me money. You took
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: my money. You took my dignity, the respect I had.
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: There's a lot that follows up with that. And again,
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: it goes back to my addiction. It's like this man
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: who I know for a fact is a confessed murderer, Right.
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: So when you think about it, you have to weigh
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: it out. Could he do it? Obviously he did it before.
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: So it could come back to want me. So those
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: things stay in my head. And when you're, when you're
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: a feeler, you know, like I can sense danger. I
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: don't know, you know, uh, I think more women can
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: than men, but we could sense it. So when I'm
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: walking by myself, like I'm always, you know, left and right.
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: So it's not a very comfortable feeling. However, I, I
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: believe that my father watches every step I take every day. So,
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: you know, right.
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: All right, so let's move on to talking about how
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: Mob Wives came to play. I know that your sister
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: was one of the executive producers and basically got it
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: off the ground. Can you talk about how you first
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: found out about it and what it was like to
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: be on a show like that?
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: Okay, so Jennifer is the creator and the EP on it. So...
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: She was writing a scripted series. And then she realized,
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: why would I do a scripted series when I have
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: this cast right in front of me? So she's like, hey, Renee,
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: I need some friends of yours. And I'm like, OK,
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: can I be on the show? And she's like, no.
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: I'm like, can I please.
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: Be on the show?
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: And she's like, no. I'm like, well, can I do wardrobe?
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: She's like, I don't think so. And she did that
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: to me up until like three days before the meeting.
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: And she said that was payback for me driving her
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: crazy all of her life. However, I remember when we
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: filmed the sizzle reel and it was just, it was
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: pure gold. It was just like, here, you know? It
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: was like, take this and run with it. Because there
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: was never anything done from a female's perspective on that level,
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: aside from when Susan Lucci did that mob daughter movie
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: it's like so many years ago. So I was I
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: was stoked for it. And I knew, I knew this
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: was like a, a female godfather type of like, I
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: knew it. And look at it today. It's still happening. Yeah.
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: It's streaming now.
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: Correct.
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: Like people can get it.
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: And, and what's interesting, I think about it is it's,
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: you guys really didn't have to be told what to do.
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: It was your life just on camera.
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: Correct, correct. I mean, there were things that we had
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: to be careful with, with certain wording. I always stuck
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: my foot in my mouth for ever being in trouble.
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: But like you had said earlier, I think for me,
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: I was the realist. Me and Karen, I think, had
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: the most to really deal with in the public eye.
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: You know, her father had done what he did, and
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: then my ex-husband did what he did. So there was no...
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: We were like a perfect marriage, Karen and I. Absolutely. Yeah.
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: And did you know everyone that was on the show
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: or was anyone cast?
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: So Carla and I knew each other from when we
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: were 16. Ramona, Karen.
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: Don't miss the USL championship final on CBS, November 21st
• 38:57
  Speaker 3: at noon Eastern. Will the Pittsburgh Riverhounds retain their crown?
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: Or will new title winners emerge? Don't miss the conclusion
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: to the 2026 season, Saturday, November 21st, noon Eastern, on CBS.
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: Jennifer and Drita were friends all of their lives. Big
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: Ang is family to me. Alicia that came on the
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: show was married to Eddie Garofalo, who was a childhood friend. Natalie, Natalie, Brittany,
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: and Marissa, those two. four I had met later on. Oh,
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: and then there was love for that season. The Staten
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: Island group all knew each other. We grew up together.
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: And then the other girls that were added from Philly,
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: with the exception of Alicia, were all straight.
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: And what was that like, all that fame out of nowhere?
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: It wasn't very different than my childhood.
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: Like, the feds were always on the block taking pictures,
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: so that's not different. However, you know, to be accepted
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: was different, you know. I mean, I thought I dealt
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: with it pretty well. I wish I would have saved
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: a lot of the money. I could tell you that much. Yeah,
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: I was more of one of, oh, let me buy
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: everything for everybody except me. Yeah, that was me. Fame
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: is overrated. Fame comes at a price. We know this.
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: And it travels you. Your negative fame is forever the
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: first thing that comes up.
• 40:40
  Speaker 4: So.
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: Um, I, you know, it teeter now for me on
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: the other side.
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: Also, I want to ask you because I had Dr.
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: Michael Fiorello on my show and I know he played
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: a really important role in your life. How did you,
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: how did he come into your life?
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: So I had plastic surgery gone terribly wrong. My ex-husband
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: would always say, you're fat, you're ugly, you have no ass,
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: you're this, you're that. So we own strip clubs. So
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: that's where that thought started in my head.
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: And then.
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: I had gotten Mercer through my whole body from the surgery,
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: from what the doctor did wrong. And Dr. Fiorello came
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: in and he actually, he literally saved my life. Like
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: I had a nurse three times a day to come
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: change my bandages. I was also vancomycin resistant. So I
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: was spread my last rights twice. I was dying. Like I,
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: The priest had come in and had said to my mom, like,
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: you know, I'm going to read her last rites. You know,
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: the doctor had said, I'm sorry, that I wasn't going
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: to make it. And to this day, they said I
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: defied medical... They can't even understand it. I had, like,
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: three emergency surgeries, keep scooping it out and scooping it
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: out and scooping it out, all the way back to
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: my spine. So, yeah, I think... I think Dr. Fiorello
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: is a phenomenal, phenomenal doctor. And I am so grateful
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: for him. So very grateful. Yeah.
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: And an even better man. He's a really good guy.
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he is.
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Okay. I want to talk about some other experiences.
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: What was it like being on Celebrity Big Brother? Because
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: people try to stay under the radar on that show.
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: I'm sure that was really hard for you.
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah. First of all, you put me in a house
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: with a bunch of strangers and nobody, they, we were
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: like me more than Aubrey and Frankie. Um, it, it's
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: this whole person, this mob persona that they just kept attacking, attacking, attacking,
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: and you couldn't threaten anybody and you couldn't hit nobody.
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: So what happens is the kids, the kids, Stephen bear has, um,
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: he had tackled, uh, Aubrey, and Aubrey was dating Pauly D,
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: and I remember Pauly had called me and said, could
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: you do me a favor and look out for Aubrey?
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: I said, I got you, no worries. So as they're
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: rolling on the floor, I take a chunk out of
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: his leg. I'm like, fuck him. Excuse me. Like, he's
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: got her in a headlock with his legs. I'm like,
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: what are you doing? That was one. Then they were like, Renee,
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: you can't do anything. I'm like, I want a psychiatrist
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: every day. If I have to go through this Cycle
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: babble bullshit. You're bringing a doctor in here because what
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: this kid would do, they would ration your food. So
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: he would break all the eggs, spill out my olive oil,
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: and get rid of my garlic. So now you're talking
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: about three things I need to cook with to survive
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: for the week. You only have a certain amount of money.
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: What are you going to do with this money? I'm like,
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: I'm Italian. Pasta everything. Pasta with peas. Pasta with chichi.
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: Pasta this. Pasta that. So every time he would do that,
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: I would lose my shit. And finally he said something like,
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: so the word, the C word is like how we
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: say jerk off over here. So he called me that.
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: And I was like, they'll find you and your mother
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: in the fucking trunk. Do you understand me? Do you
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: understand me? They were like, Renee to the green room.
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: You are always getting in trouble.
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And I don't care. I don't care because you
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: spoke to me any type of way. I don't care
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: about your rules. Your rules are not going to stop
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: me from respecting myself. And I think that that has
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: a lot to do with everything in life. Like people
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: make up these rules and we're supposed to abide by them.
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: So it's okay. You smack me. No, I don't think so.
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: It's okay. You curse at me. No, hold on a minute.
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: Cause you will be in a trunk. It's that simple.
• 44:54
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: You've talked openly about, you know, coming back from near-death
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: experiences a couple times. I know from hearing you talk,
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: you feel like you're here now with a mission to
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: help other people because people have helped you. I want
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: to talk a little bit more about that because I
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: know you have a lot of projects coming up and
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: you're also really on this path to wanting to be
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: available for people. Can you talk more about that?
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: Sure. So I actually just took a job two days
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: ago working for Vanity Wellness here in California, doing business
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: development and trying to connect with more people to help
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: them heal. And for me, this is probably like the
• 45:36
  Speaker 2: first not the first real job, but like my second
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: real job, like that's something I want to do, you know?
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: And I, I just want to help people because I
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: know what it feels like, you know, and you're like
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: the conversation you and I just had, like, it's relatable.
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: It doesn't matter if you're there, here, where it's relatable
• 45:59
  Speaker 2: emptiness inside of a soul. You know, if there's ways
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: that I can help somebody fill it, with self-love, then
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: I most definitely would love to do that. Oh, I'm sorry.
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: I don't know what just happened. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: just want to.
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: And also, I think it's important for people to remember
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: that sometimes they don't They can't talk to their best friend,
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: their partner, their spouse, their parent, their child. They need
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: someone who is completely separate from their true lives that
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: they can be open and honest with because it's so
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: hard to talk to people that are right there on
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: top of them. You know, they need that breather to
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: be able to talk to someone like you that's been
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: through it, that knows what it's about, that has no judgment,
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: that's really there to just hear and listen. And I
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: think that's a really important, you know, position to be in.
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: It's a powerful position for you to be in too.
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: I spoke at an all men's meeting. They were young
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: guys last week. And three of the kids came up
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: to me and asked me if I could help their moms.
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: I was devastated for them. You know, I'm watching young
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: kids in addiction because of, you know, when you're around it,
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: it's pretty much going to happen. My son doesn't drink
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: or drug. God, God did such a miracle with my child. Um, however,
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: when I heard those kids, like, can you call my mom?
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: Do you think you can help my mom? My heart
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: broke for them because I was actually seeing my son
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: on the other side, you know? And, um, Yeah, it's
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: it is a powerful position. And I think that God
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: put me in the best place possible for me to
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: do what I love to do. And that's just, you know,
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: I love I love people. I don't know what that
• 47:48
  Speaker 2: is with me. Not every person, but like for the
• 47:51
  Speaker 2: most part. And all of a sudden now I really
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: like have this love for women where I never did
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: before because women were always my enemy. So now I'm
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: seeing it as like, if, if we could just like
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: stand together, I don't care what woke a life, religion, race,
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: all that nonsense. Like we are so powerful as women.
• 48:12
  Speaker 2: We like, we put men to shame. I'm sorry. We,
• 48:15
  Speaker 2: we truly do for the simple reason we, we have love.
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: And I think when you're building a family, and I
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: mean that by friendship or in, you know, your actual family,
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: women are the key to everything. So I'm very grateful
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: that God gave me the position he did. Yeah.
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: Do you think you would ever do reality TV again?
• 48:40
  Speaker 2: Absolutely. I'm already up for it. I'm up for about
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: four shows right now. Good.
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: But like shows that are about you and your life
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: or stuff like villains or traitors or, you know, I'm.
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: Up for villains, traitors, a plastic surgery show. And then
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: I'm developing something.
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, great. So I was going to ask you about
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: the state of reality TV now. What do you, what
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: are you watching? What do you love right now?
• 49:07
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 49:08
  Speaker 2: I am glued to Housewives. I binge watch everything. Erika
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: Jayne is one of my favorite people. I think she's...
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: is the epitome of a strong woman watching her go
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: through what she did with her ex-husband for me was
• 49:27
  Speaker 2: very relatable. And then watching her get attacked made me
• 49:31
  Speaker 2: very angry because how are you going to hold her
• 49:33
  Speaker 2: responsible for what he did? It doesn't work like that. Like,
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: not many men come home and tell their wife, hey,
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: guess what? I robbed all the funds today. Not at all,
• 49:42
  Speaker 2: you know? So I absolutely love her. I'm watching now.
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: Kyle Richards. And I'm so here for her and the
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: Morgan Wade thing. I'm like, please just say it already.
• 49:55
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: I still don't understand why they haven't said it. Are
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: they a thing? Is she a late in life lesbian? Like,
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: what do you think is going on there?
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I mean, I don't know. But what
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: it looks like to me is that she found some
• 50:11
  Speaker 2: sort of happiness in another person. And at the end
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: of the day, I now view it as it doesn't
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: really mess. Women, it doesn't bother me with women. You
• 50:21
  Speaker 2: know what I mean? Yeah. I'm good. I support everybody.
• 50:25
  Speaker 2: And if she's happy, she's happy. Who cares?
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: Like everybody's interesting because it doesn't even have to be,
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: everyone's just labeling it as this lesbian thing. It doesn't
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: actually have to be sexual. I think when you find
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: someone that really gets you and becomes such a close friend,
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: that is so important. And it's so hard to find that. So,
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: I mean, take the sexual piece out. I mean, whether
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: or not she just found someone that she can really
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: trust and, and that she loves being around, you know,
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: power to her you know.
• 50:53
  Speaker 2: Whatever absolutely there is that you could have a soulmate
• 50:57
  Speaker 2: as your best friend yeah like there's nothing like a
• 51:00
  Speaker 2: best friend in the world that you could call up
• 51:02
  Speaker 2: at any time my best girlfriend we're friends since we're
• 51:06
  Speaker 2: in third grade she can actually if she might not
• 51:10
  Speaker 2: speak to me for a month and she'll get a
• 51:12
  Speaker 2: feeling if something's wrong on she'll be like you good
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: I'll be like, oh, shit, you don't know what happened today.
• 51:18
  Speaker 2: And she'll know it. It's like when you're in sync
• 51:20
  Speaker 2: with another human that you just love with no sex. Like,
• 51:27
  Speaker 2: that's my best friend all my life. You know what
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: I mean?
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: Have you been watching Love is Blind?
• 51:34
  Speaker 2: No, what is that?
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God. Renee, you have to watch it. It's
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: about people that fall in love through a wall, and
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: then they get proposed to, and then they have to
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: see if they will go through with the wedding. Fucking phenomenal.
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: I'm dying to be on that show.
• 51:51
  Speaker 2: Okay, me and you got to do that.
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes. That or traitors. We would have fun on traitors.
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: Oh, okay. I'm pitching that one to Jennifer later. Okay.
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: A couple quick fire questions and then we'll wrap it up.
• 52:05
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: What do you think is the most misunderstood thing about you?
• 52:12
  Speaker 2: That I'm just a drug addict. Okay.
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: What's your favorite movie about the mob?
• 52:18
  Speaker 2: Good fellas. Okay.
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: What is a perfect day for you?
• 52:25
  Speaker 2: Disney with my grandkids. Oh, cute.
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: Okay. What do you never leave home without?
• 52:31
  Speaker 2: My phone.
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: Okay. For me, it would be lip gloss. What is
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: your bucket list place to visit?
• 52:38
  Speaker 2: Sicily.
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: First celebrity crush when you were a kid?
• 52:48
  Speaker 2: Michael Irving.
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God. That's a good one.
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: Has a celebrity... Say that again?
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: My phone hit me on the top of the head
• 52:59
  Speaker 2: with the phone over that one.
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: Has a celebrity ever recognized you or slid into your
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: DMs to say they were a fan?
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: Are you going to tell us who?
• 53:11
  Speaker 2: Oh, no. I don't tell. Okay.
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: Like the tattoo says.
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 53:17
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: What are you looking for in a man?
• 53:21
  Speaker 2: Stability.
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: Good answer. Who should play you in the movie of
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: your life?
• 53:31
  Speaker 2: Oh, young version, old version.
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: Either one. Somebody you're dying to be you.
• 53:38
  Speaker 2: Somebody. Jesus. Uh, Oh, wait, I got to think, actually,
• 53:45
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: We can come back to that one. Are there one
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: or two moments that you think really shaped your life?
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure there's a bunch of them, but
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: something that really stands out to you that made you
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: who you are.
• 53:58
  Speaker 2: My appearance on The View. And, yeah, Tina Fey. I
• 54:04
  Speaker 2: worked for Tina Fey. And we happened to be on
• 54:07
  Speaker 2: The View the same day. And when I worked for it,
• 54:09
  Speaker 2: she would say, you're going to be famous one day, Renee.
• 54:12
  Speaker 2: I'd be like, oh, cut it out, Tina. Like, what
• 54:13
  Speaker 2: do you need to lose weight? Diet pill, water pill,
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: let's go. And the day I showed up on The View,
• 54:18
  Speaker 2: she was opposite dressing room. And she walked out on
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: that stage and did, like, a thing about Renee. And
• 54:25
  Speaker 2: that was my moment of, I'm fucking here to stay.
• 54:29
  Speaker 2: That was it. Yes, yes.
• 54:32
  Speaker 1: God, I love that answer.
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: Raina Sofa. I love Raina Sofa. Do you remember from
• 54:37
  Speaker 2: General Hospital? Oh, yeah. She could be a Renee.
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: Okay, I agree. That's a good one.
• 54:43
  Speaker 2: Yes. Okay.
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: Anything else that you want to promote? Everyone should go
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: and do that app.
• 54:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So it's the Drop Me In AI app, and
• 54:56
  Speaker 2: it makes you look like a mob wife by Renee Graziano.
• 55:00
  Speaker 2: So it's fun. It's just fun to see. Like, I
• 55:03
  Speaker 2: would never not have a shirt on under my fur.
• 55:06
  Speaker 2: I got sexy pictures. I enjoyed working with the team,
• 55:10
  Speaker 2: and both my sister Jennifer and I are on that project.
• 55:13
  Speaker 2: So it's, I love that.
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 55:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: And anything else, if people want to know what to
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: expect out of you in the next upcoming year, what
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: what's going on with you?
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: Um, what to expect. I would like to, uh, throw
• 55:26
  Speaker 2: my son a really big wedding because he didn't have one.
• 55:29
  Speaker 2: So I know that right now it's just really, it's
• 55:32
  Speaker 2: about family for me. And it's about building bridges. Um,
• 55:37
  Speaker 2: the ones that I burnt, I have new bridges to build.
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: I love that answer. And what about the fairy mob mother?
• 55:45
  Speaker 2: Is that? Oh, so I filmed it. And after I
• 55:50
  Speaker 2: filmed it, that's how I relapsed.
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: Got it. Okay.
• 55:53
  Speaker 2: It was a little too deep for me to talk
• 55:57
  Speaker 2: about those type of things. I wasn't healed. I thought
• 55:59
  Speaker 2: we thought I was in a better space, but it
• 56:03
  Speaker 2: dredged up a lot of the abuse again. So it wasn't.
• 56:07
  Speaker 2: It's not the right project for me.
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: Got it. I love the concept of it. So maybe
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: one day it'll be a version of it. We'll be
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: back there.
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: Where can people find you if they want to reach
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: out to you for more help or follow the rest
• 56:20
  Speaker 1: of your story?
• 56:21
  Speaker 2: Well, they can follow me right on Instagram and it's
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: at Renee Graziano and everything else is listed there. My
• 56:27
  Speaker 2: TikTok is the real Renee Graziano and anybody at all
• 56:31
  Speaker 2: that needs help is definitely welcome to reach out to me. Perfect.
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: Renee, thank you so much. I wish you the best.
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: I'm so happy that we are in touch now and
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: we're going to have that dinner soon that we are
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: long overdue for.
• 56:42
  Speaker 2: Yes, we are. Okay. I appreciate you.
• 56:46
  Speaker 4: You too.
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to Misunderstood. I'm your host,
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: Rachel Yucatel. Please be sure to subscribe to the show
• 57:02
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• 57:04
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• 57:09
  Speaker 1: misunderstood with Rachel Yucatel. Do you have ideas for the
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: show or want to reach out? Email us at infomisunderstoodpodcast
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: at gmail.com. That's spelled M-I-S-S understood. Thank you so much,
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: and I'll see you next time.
• 57:27
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• 57:32
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