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MIKEDJKELLY SHORTER THAN SHORT 104 “SMALL TOMATOES” · Shorter Than Short Podcast

0:01
Speaker 1: It's the Mike Kelly Short Short Podcast for your.
0:08
Speaker 2: Live but krusty universe. It's the Mike dj Kelly Shorter
0:12
Than Short Podcast.
0:14
Speaker 3: I liked the snappy start last time. Let's do it again.
0:17
No intro music, no long drawn out intro were straight
0:22
in and off with the latest fun films, Mike DJ
0:25
Kelly Shorter Than Short Podcast and the special Small Tomatoes edition.
0:34
Speaker 1: Coming up.
0:34
Speaker 3: My amazing digital friend Joyce, Fake Show, buz News recommend
0:39
the pot Charities, Rhubarb, toilet rolls, Trump XTC, count Biface,
0:45
Universal Credit, Cleft palettes, plus lots of stuff you don't
0:50
know that you don't know until you know. I'm Mike
0:57
Kelly with the latest Shorter than Short use our top story.
1:01
FIFA President Guiani Infantino and Trump's brother in law face
1:07
backlash after failed controversial plan to spin off FIFA's commercial
1:12
operations into a separate corporate entity and sell stakes. Chinese
1:18
jqu seven Range Rover lookalike has been crown Britain's most
1:23
popular new car travel lodge in Botherer game for double
1:27
booking rooms at London Accommodation. Berlin's first supermarket rooftop farm
1:34
is using waste heat and rainwater to grow almost one
1:39
million lettuce mixes each year for stores across the region.
1:44
The Jodrell Bank Observatory, which houses the UK's largest telescope,
1:49
faces closure after its loss of government funding. XTC are
1:54
re releasing their Fabulous song making plans for Nigel ni.
2:00
John Mirage was unavailable for comments, but veteran radio DJ
2:05
Tony Blackburn is quoted as saying even Arnold like that one.
2:10
Shopify CEO Toby Luke is in bother after endorsing social
2:16
media proposals that would award extra votes to high income taxpayers.
2:22
Alder remains the UK's cheapest supermarket. Its standard store staff
2:27
get the highest basic hourly wages in the UK's supermarket sector.
2:32
That's it Europe to date with all the news that
2:34
is news this hour, I'm Mike Kelly for STS News,
2:39
The Short Short Podcast with Mike Kelly Mourning Joyce. That's unusual.
2:45
Why are you wearing a hat with a veil over
2:47
your face? Are you in mourning? No?
2:50
Speaker 4: I'm hiding from who?
2:53
Speaker 3: Why?
2:53
Speaker 4: No, not from anybody. It's just I'm trying to look
2:57
beautiful and I have had a Russian lips trance for well.
3:01
Speaker 3: If you look like Boris Yeltsin or Valdimir Putin, I
3:05
can understand that you're hiding.
3:07
Speaker 4: No, no, it's not that I now have a permanent smile.
3:11
Everybody thinks I'm happy all the time, even when I'm not.
3:15
Speaker 3: Take the veil off and let's see the happy, smiling
3:19
Joyce star of the show. Any other fashion features we
3:23
should note this week?
3:25
Speaker 4: Well, I have been doing some gardening and my hands
3:28
were a bit rough, and I have started using this
3:31
new skincare cream made by Dahlia in Wakefield. It's made
3:35
with British botanicals. This one has rhubarb in it. It's
3:39
very good.
3:40
Speaker 3: And what's out there on the social media sites? Roger Cleech.
3:45
A tradition in our home at Christmas was a terrorist
3:48
chocolate orange. No more. My wife was given one this
3:53
week and the recipe has changed, segments smaller, with gaps
3:57
between them, classic shrinking the care. It's now as bad
4:02
as Cadbury's with less cocoa, less orange, and the pleasure
4:06
of it melting in your mouth has gone. Perhaps they
4:10
could be repurposed as candles. The Zachburger. Stop calling it
4:16
lobbying and start calling it bribery, capital stitchco anyone else
4:23
at the point where they are buying practically nothing because
4:27
nothing's worth the price anymore see Thompson YYC. Without water,
4:34
trees and bees, the data centers will have no data
4:38
to process because we'll all be dead. A non o pinhole.
4:43
Charles and William should pay back the rent they charge
4:47
the NHS and various charities and the RNLI lifeboats. The
4:53
public owned those buildings and coastlines, not these two who
4:58
think they're private land lord's feudal per penn UK. It's
5:03
a pity you can't ask for a medically induced coma
5:07
on the NHS and have a few months off, Liam
5:11
Oddel UK. The cinema chain View has confirmed eighteen of
5:16
its cinemas in the UK and Ireland have bluetooths or
5:20
a cast technology enabled, which streams high quality audio into
5:26
compatible hearing aids, headphones and earbuds. Blues Man, Why is
5:32
it every time our schools close down for holidays that
5:36
Parliament also closes down for holidays. Normal working people have
5:42
two weeks summer break, but MPs need six just like
5:46
schools do. Why they are very well paid politicians who
5:50
are only working part time short of water not if
5:56
you have the new king Canoed Water Desalination plan plant.
6:00
It fits in your bathroom and plums directly in to
6:04
the waste outlet of the bath and toilet and turns
6:07
it into clear, fresh drinking water using reliable and tested
6:13
reverse osmosis and thermal distillation methods. It's cheap to run
6:18
and easy to use, and makes water shortages a thing
6:22
of the past as you keep using the same water
6:25
over and over again. Pays for itself in months as
6:30
you will no longer need to buy water from the
6:32
water companies. Full details on how to get your king
6:36
Ganoo Water Desalination plant at the end of the show. Yes,
6:47
don't be blaming me, It's not my fault. You've ended
6:50
up listening to this. Blame the algorithm or AI. But
6:54
while you're here, why not tell a friend or two
6:57
about the Mike DJ Kelly sort of in short podcasts,
7:01
let's get everybody listening. Please text or email the link
7:05
to this podcast to your friends and family, or just
7:09
resend my tweet original message. Thank you and in our
7:18
we want him back on the telespot. This week it's
7:21
Alan Armstrong, who was born in nineteen forty six. For
7:26
more than fifty years, Alan Armstrong has been one of
7:29
Britain's most respected and versatile actors. Never want to chase celebrity,
7:35
he has built an extraordinary career by disappearing completely into
7:40
every role, whether on stage, TV or the big screen.
7:44
As he once explained, I never wanted to be a star.
7:48
Stars have to play themselves all the time. I like
7:52
to disappear into the characters. That approach has made in
7:55
one of the country's finest character actors television audiences. No
8:00
best as the brilliant Brian Lane in New Tricks, while
8:04
his many other memorable performances include Blackhouse, Oliver Twist, Little
8:09
Dorrit Sherwood and Breeders. On the big screen, he's appeared
8:14
in films including Get Carter, Braveheart, Sleepy Hollow, The Mummy, Returns,
8:20
Van Hesling and Fragun. His stage career has been equally distinguished.
8:26
After nine years with the Royal Shakespeare Company, he originated
8:30
the role of Thenada into the original London production of
8:34
Les Miiz before winning the Olivia Award for his acclaimed
8:38
performance as Sweeney Todd. Away from acting, Alan has been
8:43
married to his wife Sue since nineteen seventy seven, after
8:47
the pair famously met when he gave her a lift
8:50
when she was hitch hiking. We want Alan Armstrong back
8:54
on the Telly in some new stuff, not just his repeats.
8:59
Speaker 1: It's the Mike Kelly Short Short podcast for you all.
9:01
Speaker 3: A bargain ranger. The lookalike has been crowned Britain's most
9:06
popular new car. The Jku seven has been officially named
9:10
the most in demand new car in the UK in
9:13
the first half of twenty twenty six. According to online
9:17
car sales platform car Wow. Fresh data shows the Chinese
9:21
vehicle outstripped popular brands such as the kir Sportage and
9:26
the Tesla Model three. The Jku seven only officially went
9:30
on sale in the UK in January twenty twenty five.
9:34
The Chinese back to Suv launched, with both petrol and
9:38
plugin hybrid models, initially starting from twenty nine thousand, four
9:43
hundred and thirty five pounds.
9:45
Speaker 5: This is the short Short podcast with Mike Kelly.
9:47
Speaker 3: Recommend the pod and I don't think we've had this
9:51
one before, and this time it's the last King of Elmitz,
9:55
which is an independent conversational podcast hosted by Kevin Duffy
10:00
and Kevin Bondyface. In each episode, the two Kevin's chat
10:04
casually about a delightful eclectic mix of books, art, music, geography,
10:11
local history, publishing and cultural detours. So who is the
10:16
Man in the Bin? Jonathan David Harvey is an Oxford
10:22
educated writer with three decades at the heart of the
10:25
BBC comedy establishment, writing for programs such as The Thick
10:29
of It, Have I Got News For You? And Yes Minister.
10:33
His one awards been celebrated by the media and is
10:36
hardly an unknown outsider. He is Count Binface and at
10:41
the time of writing, the bookmakers have significantly shortened the
10:45
odds for Count Binface, now listing him as the second
10:49
favorite at nine to one. Today's do Goodners are Friends
10:57
of the Elderly and FOTE dot UK. We are a
11:03
not for profit charity dedicated to providing exceptional care. We
11:08
have been supporting older people for over one hundred and
11:11
twenty years, from serving up penny dinners to World War
11:14
One veterans to pioneering innovations in dementia care. Supporting older
11:20
people is at the heart of what we do today.
11:23
The charity provides care, home and daycare services for older people,
11:28
as well as grants for elderly people in financial difficulty.
11:33
Our priority is to help older people to live well
11:36
in later life, whether they are alone in one of
11:39
our care homes or we're helping them to improve their
11:42
lives at home through providing a grant. Find out more
11:47
join in help at Friends of the Elderly at FOTE
11:53
dot org dot uk. Today's music quiz is a nineteen
11:59
e sixty two movie hit. Name the song or the
12:03
artist These are the words rising up back on the street.
12:08
Did my time took my chances went the distance? Now
12:12
I'm back on my feet. Just a man and his
12:15
will to survive. So many times it happens too fast.
12:20
You trade your passion for the glory. Don't lose your
12:24
grip on the dreams of the past. You might fight
12:27
just to keep them alive. Name the song, the group
12:31
or the artiste.
12:32
Speaker 4: Not a clue, and I'm normally good at these.
12:39
Speaker 3: If you are a Tube user, this one's for you.
12:43
London Underground users should know about toxic dusk risk, whistleblower says.
12:49
Former Tube network cleaner says tribunal vindicated his health concerns,
12:54
including about asbestos that could affect public. Mickey Steed's, a
12:59
former national boxer from Averley in Essex, started working for
13:04
London Underground in twenty eighteen, cleaning up decades of dust
13:08
from thence lift shafts and inverts confined channels underneath the
13:13
station platforms for cabling. The judgment said London Underground had
13:18
failed to treat Steve's complaints as whistleblowing and had unfairly
13:23
dismissed him. The reason or principal reason for dismissal was
13:28
that he made protected disclosures. The panel said, if you
13:32
are new to the Mike DJ Kelly Shorter than Short podcast,
13:36
you can still get to hear all previous episodes just
13:39
by searching or shouting the Mike DJ Kelly Shorter than
13:44
Short podcast. You can also catch me on BCB one
13:48
of those six point six FM on a Tuesday at midday.
13:52
That's at Bcbradio dot co dot UK.
13:57
Speaker 1: It's the Mike Kelly Short and Short podcast for you all.
14:00
Speaker 3: And the Trump top News factually correct, unlike the words
14:04
from the president's mouth. How the views of Trump compare
14:08
with other global leaders across thirty six countries a median
14:13
of twenty three percent of adults of confidence in US
14:17
President Donald Trump to do the right thing. Regarding world affairs,
14:22
confidence in Trump is lower than confidence in French President
14:27
Emmanuel Macron, Ukraine President Voladimir Zelenski, Chinese President wy Jimping,
14:34
and Russian President Valdimir Putin. Of the leaders asked about,
14:38
only Israel Prime Minister Benjamin Natinyahu received lower marks. And
14:44
the strange thing is if you ask Google who is
14:48
the worst world leader, neither of them is mentioned. And
14:52
from America, Donald Trump's State Department intends to allocate twelve
14:57
million dollars to organizations in the UK founded by prominent
15:02
conservatives Jacob Reese Mogg and Toby Young. According to The Guardian,
15:08
the intended grants, revealed in US government documents, are part
15:13
of the package of support for European groups viewed favorably
15:18
by the Trump administration. Donald Trump has also paid writer E.
15:24
Gene Carroll more than five million dollars in damages, three
15:29
years after he was found liable for sexually abusing and
15:32
defaming her in a civil case.
15:35
Speaker 4: What can we do about that? Terrible Donald J. Trump?
15:39
Are the Americans stupid or something? Why do they put
15:42
up with him? We got rid of Boris Starmer and
15:45
Rushie and Cameron because we couldn't stand them any longer.
15:49
Speaker 3: What can we do? We can't do anything.
15:52
Speaker 4: Yes, you can do something useful and ask that nice
15:55
Barack Obama and his lovely wife Michelle to help and
15:58
do something. You can write to them at PO box
16:02
ninety one thousand, Washington, DC, twenty thousand and sixty six,
16:07
or you can contact them online.
16:09
Speaker 3: What do you want me to say to them as
16:12
if they will reply or listen to me? Say?
16:15
Speaker 4: If Trump is changing the rules so he can try
16:18
for a third term as president in the twenty twenty
16:20
eight presidential election, there is no reason why Barack Obama
16:24
cannot go for it.
16:29
Speaker 3: And on a medical note, every doctor UK it's a
16:33
good job. Andy Burnham wants to end rough sleeping in
16:38
our country because right now NHS England and the DHSC
16:43
are stripping homeless and vulnerable people of access to GPS.
16:48
A new cost slashing scheme has kicked hundreds of thousands
16:53
of vulnerable patients off GP lists simply because they didn't
16:58
reply to a letter or email. How is someone sleeping
17:01
rough supposed to reply?
17:04
Speaker 5: This is the short Short podcast with Mike Kelly.
17:06
Speaker 3: And on those much of the news fancy anchor bracelets.
17:10
The rapid expansion of electronic tagging to reduce pressure on
17:15
prisons will put public safety at risk without robust improvements
17:20
to assist them. Already under significant strain, the UK's Public
17:25
Spending watchdog has warned the number of people in England
17:29
and Wales being electronically monitored has doubled to twenty eight thousand,
17:34
seven hundred over five years, and it's estimated to rise
17:38
to twenty two thousand tagged each year from twenty twenty
17:42
seven on. The government plans to combat the prison capacity
17:47
crisis by managing more offenders in the community and what's
17:56
out there on the social media sites. Mister gs page.
18:01
Coca Cola pays six thousand and seventy pounds per annum
18:06
to the Environment Agency for a license to extract six
18:10
hundred and seventy four million liters. In other words, they
18:14
pay zero point zero zero five pence per liter they
18:20
extract and sell at one pounds sixty for six hundred
18:24
milli liters more perth Northumberland street art Globe. Would you
18:29
pay four hundred and fifty dollars for a piece of grass?
18:33
After Sunday's World Cup final between Spain and Argentina at
18:38
MetLife Stadium, FIFA will cut up the match pitch and
18:42
preserve pieces of it inside resin cubes engraved with the
18:46
stadium name, the date and the final score. Prices start
18:51
add four hundred and fifty dollars and go up to
18:54
three thousand dollars for higher tier editions. Each edition is
18:59
limited to two one thousand and twenty six pieces. If
19:03
every edition sells out, fever could generate more than eleven
19:07
million dollars from the pitch alone. Would you buy one?
19:11
Callum Lion. Being single isn't What makes life difficult is
19:16
having nobody to split the cost of surviving with one
19:19
salary has to cover the rent, the bills, the food,
19:23
the problems, and everything that goes wrong. Then you're told
19:27
to stop buying coffee and budget better by people who
19:30
have always had someone sharing their load. The system was
19:34
built for two incomes, and forget what happens when you're
19:38
on your own keV. Thirteen seventy. In nineteen seventy one,
19:44
the government guidelines for alcohol consumption was no more than
19:49
fifty six units a week. I'm sticking strictly with that
19:53
advice and on a pin hole. It was much more
19:57
fun before we had immediate access to all knowledge on
20:01
the Internet. You had to work hard to find out
20:04
stuff about authors or bands you'd just discovered. You had
20:08
to rack your brains to remember who scored that goal
20:12
or who the drummer in the band was Joseph Sharp
20:16
five oh two. While billionaires and millionaires exist, disabled people
20:22
living on universal Credit are penalized for having more than
20:26
six thousand pounds in savings. Why aren't people talking about
20:30
this inequality? Tess Kennedy thirty five, superb News XTC are
20:37
releasing their fabulous song making plans for Nigel Let's get
20:41
it to number one? Please me already bought it when
20:45
it was originally released in nineteen seventy nine. Sarah Hester Ross.
20:51
Women are being advised to play Disney songs when they
20:55
notice a man recording them with metaglasses on without consent,
21:00
because Disney music is more protected than women.
21:04
Speaker 1: It's the Mike Kelly Short Short podcast for you and.
21:07
Speaker 3: In the Fake Show buz News. At Fake showbuz News.
21:11
The Lake District to be renamed the Flake District for
21:15
the next month after National Park Boses signed two point
21:19
three billion sponsorship deal with Cadbury. Andy Burnham announced his
21:25
plans to change the national anthem to step on by
21:28
the Happy Mondays. Just need to get Charlie King Charles
21:32
Third on board, he told reporters. Julipa says she doesn't
21:37
care how well the glass has been cleaned. If it
21:40
was once used to trap a spider, she will not
21:43
be drinking from it. Elon must no longer a trillionaire
21:47
after spending a week at Center Parks. Don't forget my
21:54
pod picking friends. If you want to get in touch
21:57
about anything to do with the Shorter Than Show podcast,
22:01
please use the following to contact and if you have
22:03
any stories, gossip, or jokes or anything for the next episode,
22:08
do connect and follow Mike dj Kelly on any social
22:12
media sites. Don't forget you can always buy us a
22:15
coffee if you go to gocoffee dot com, forward slash
22:20
Mike Djkelly. Any money's raised do go to charity group
22:25
Murdock here. Probably shouldn't be poking my nose in here,
22:29
but I see we're running quite a lot of these
22:32
funeral plan adverts on the ITV channels. I find them
22:36
quite disturbing at my age. I think a dating app
22:40
for as older folks would have been much nicer. Now
22:44
our family owns ITV, there needs to be some changes,
22:49
things like leaving copies of the Sun and Times on
22:53
the tables in the rovers return and on Good Morning
22:57
Britain the only papers they review ours. Maybe some of
23:02
the travel programs could promote the Sun's collect vouchers to
23:08
get three holidays scheme. I think I'll make a note
23:11
of that one, and getting rid of those funeral adverts.
23:16
And in the showbiz corner, how many corners have we
23:20
had this week? Trisha Penrose, who played the barmaid Gina
23:24
Ward in Heartbeat's Aidensfield Arms for eighteen years, has now
23:29
bought the Gofland Hotel, the real life setting used in
23:33
ITV's long running show, the TV series, which ran from
23:38
nineteen ninety two to twenty ten. As a result of
23:41
its fame, the Gofland Hotel welcomes thousands of visitors throughout
23:45
the year from fans of Heartbeat from across the globe. Heartbeat,
23:50
said in the fictional village of Aidensfield and filmed across
23:54
North Yorkshire, became one of ITV's most popular dramas. The
23:59
Aidensfield Arms, as depicted in the show, was a central
24:03
hub for village life with Penrose's character Gina Ward, a
24:07
firm fan favorite. Sounds like a good pension plan to me.
24:13
Speaker 4: We will have to have a jolly to Whitby and
24:15
have a drink in there with Gina. That would be nice.
24:18
Speaker 3: Boom Radio presenter Peter Quinn put a picture on Facebook
24:23
of him walking his dog at eight thirty pm, along
24:27
with the comments unusually quiet tonight. Under the picture was
24:31
the meter AI option. Why was it quiet on Peter's walk?
24:36
First answer, it was a workday and most people might
24:40
have been busy with work or other commitments. Next, the
24:44
weather might not have been suitable and last the location
24:48
might not be suitable through an evening dog walk. At
24:52
no point does it mention that England are playing Argentina
24:57
and that's why nobody is out walking their dog and
25:01
they say AI is clever. Rip Heinz Stock. He left
25:06
home at twenty two in nineteen sixty two with a
25:11
three speed bicycle and three hundred dollars and traveled the
25:15
world for fifty one years, visiting every country. He took
25:19
over one hundred thousand photographs, which helped pay for the travels.
25:24
One of his biggest motivators was escaping work at a
25:28
factory job and in the stuff you don't know corner.
25:36
An American company has just got approved to sell sunlight
25:41
at night. The FCC approved reflect Orbital's first satellite, ian
25:48
dill one, designed to reflect sunlight onto Earth. The startup
25:53
says it can glow as bright as the full moon.
25:56
It will unfold a sixty foot mirror four hundred miles
26:00
above Earth and direct sunlight onto a three mile wide area.
26:05
So useful for all sorts of things, rampning bananas, fueling
26:09
solar farms, creating the world's first twenty four houred beach resorts.
26:14
Reflect Orbital's roadmap calls for two satellites in twenty twenty six,
26:20
thirty six satellites in twenty twenty seven, one thousand in
26:24
twenty twenty eight, five thousand by twenty thirty and fifty
26:29
thousand by twenty thirty five.
26:31
Speaker 4: How much will it cost? Won't it? Topset nature? Animals
26:36
and birds thinking they should be up when they should
26:38
be sleeping. Could I get a beam of it onto
26:41
a sunbed in my yard so I could sleep out
26:43
in the sun and get a tan I here.
26:46
Speaker 3: Scarborough is planning to be an all year round resort,
26:50
but will be charging you to go on the beach.
26:53
Never knew this. In January nineteen sixty, Terry Thomas's carefully
26:59
nurtured fame was at its height. He was appearing in
27:02
a midnight charity event at the Odium Theater in Liverpool.
27:07
After coming off stage and getting back to his dressing room,
27:10
he quickly realized that his expensive, custom made cigarette holder
27:15
was missing. It wasn't just any old cigarette holder. This
27:19
one was particularly ostentatious and decorated with forty two diamonds
27:24
and a gold spiral band. It was in short for
27:28
two thousand pounds. The Liverpool Police didn't take long to
27:32
track down two of the diamonds, finding them at the
27:36
home of the local unemployed salesman, small time variety artist
27:41
and well known fence called Alan David Williams. The other
27:45
forty diamonds were found inside a roll of carpet at
27:49
the Queen's Drive home of an equally small time variety artist,
27:54
the twenty year old unemployed comedian called James Joseph Tarbor. Book.
28:00
Alan Williams was charged with being an accessory after the
28:04
fact Tarbuck with theft and they were both committed for
28:08
trial at Liverpool Magistrate's Court in April nineteen sixty Was
28:14
it a publicity stunt? What about this? Then? A drinking
28:18
straw that could make nights out save for five? Students
28:22
from Belgium created check It, a drinking straw that helps
28:27
detect common drink spiking drugs like GHB and ketamine. A
28:33
built in test strip changes color within seconds if the
28:37
substances are detected, warning users before they take another sip.
28:42
The idea started as a university project and has gained
28:46
international attention as a simple extra layer of protection. Yes
28:55
since that time? Guess these? Celebrity nine one born first
29:00
of September nineteen sixty seven in Blackburn. He is an actor,
29:05
comedian and writer, best known as a member of the
29:09
League of Gentlemen with Reece Shearsmith, Mark Gattis and Jeremy Dyson.
29:15
He and Shearsmith also co wrote and appeared in the
29:18
sitcom Psychoville and the comedy drama Inside Number Nine. His
29:24
other TV credits include Doctor Who, Benderdorm, Blackpool, Shameless, Whitechapel,
29:30
and Happy Valley. Who Is He.
29:34
Speaker 1: With's The Mike Kelly Shorten short podcast for you all.
29:36
Speaker 4: Why is this show called the small Tomatoes Edition.
29:40
Speaker 3: Because for a lot of my life we only ever
29:42
had big round tomatoes and never really liked big tomatoes.
29:47
They were like big chunks on salad, unlike the nice
29:51
little ones you get. Now.
29:53
Speaker 4: You have never mentioned this before. I have known you
29:56
for a long time. Why now?
29:58
Speaker 3: It was Jan and Sarah on Facebook who got me thinking.
30:02
Jan said she misscolored toilet rolls, and Sarah said she
30:07
pokes a hole in the wrappers in the supermarket to
30:10
sniff them to make sure they smell nice before she
30:13
buys them.
30:14
Speaker 4: What she smells the toilet rolls. The world is going mad.
30:18
Speaker 3: Anyway, it says here for Grady uniformity. Commercial tomato grows
30:24
in places like Lee Valley, Worthing and Guernsey supply British
30:28
markets with round glasshouse tomatoes, graded by count per pound,
30:34
often eight to the pound as the standard rule.
30:37
Speaker 5: This is the Short Short Podcast with Mike Kelly.
30:39
Speaker 3: If you want to get in touch with this top
30:41
rated and sometimes much listen to podcasts, please connect and
30:46
get in touch about anything to do with the Shorter
30:49
than Short podcasts. We're on most social media sites at
30:53
Mike dj Kelly. Indeed, if you want a podcast making
30:57
for your business, or need any help with REDI producer
31:01
or presentation, work, travel news, voiceover work, podcast editing, please
31:06
do get in touch. Do please tell your friends about
31:09
the podcast. All they need to do to find it
31:12
is search on Google for the Mike DJ Kelly Shorter
31:16
than Short podcast The Big Rant. So let's have a
31:24
look at poor pay and Universal Credit, or to put
31:28
it another way, tight poor paying companies against the benefits
31:33
of staying at home. A single person on a living
31:36
wage job might manage, but a family of three or
31:40
four on the same wage might not. Critics and campaigners
31:44
argue that low paying, highly profitable corporations shift their labor
31:49
costs onto the state, effectively receiving a taxpayer funded subsidy
31:55
to keep labor expenses down and profits high. When companies
31:59
know the state will prevent their workers from starving or
32:02
becoming homeless, they face less market pressure to raise voluntary
32:07
wages closer to real living costs. If you are on
32:11
a low wage to qualify for Universal Credit, you must
32:15
live in the UK, be aged over eighteen or over,
32:19
with some exceptions sixteen or seventeen and to be under
32:24
state pension age. You must also have sixteen thousand pounds
32:28
or less in total money, savings and investments, and have
32:33
a low income or no job if you are on
32:36
Universal Credit. One of the few benefits is that many
32:39
major UK attractions offer heavily discounted or one pound to
32:44
three pound tickets. Participating venues include historic palaces, zoos and gardens,
32:50
though you must usually book online in advance and bring
32:54
proof of your benefit entitlement such as a DWP, a
32:59
ward letter or your online journal along with photo ID.
33:05
Popular UK attractions with Universal Credit discounts historic Royal Palaces,
33:11
Tower of London, Hampton Court, Kensington Palace tickets drop from
33:15
a pound for up to six people per household, Zoos,
33:19
London Zoo and Whipsnade Zoo Reduced adult entry drops significantly,
33:25
example to three pounds to ten pounds depending on the tier,
33:29
for up to six household members. Royal Botanic Gardens, Q
33:34
Gardens and Wakehurst admission is reduced to a pound. RHS
33:39
Gardens including Harlow Car in North Yorkshire, offer heavily reduced
33:45
entry rates for households on means tested benefits. Eden Project
33:50
offers discounted day tickets for recipients during special seasonal events,
33:59
and they've burds from the social media sites Sunderland lollipops.
34:05
Not one person deciding the pension age will ever have
34:08
to live on the state pension of twelve point five k,
34:13
only half the minimum wage, and none of them will
34:16
be working to sixty eight law eighty eight mph. What
34:22
the absolute is going on with the new lotto prizes?
34:27
Only ten pounds now for three numbers instead of the
34:31
thirty and four numbers matched? Is only fifty pounds total insult?
34:36
It's six numbers matched or now essentially Now, I've been
34:40
playing it for thirty years. I reckon, but I think
34:43
I might be going to stop now. Total joke. Greenpeace, Amazon, Microsoft,
34:49
and Google now pump out one hundred and nineteen million
34:54
tons of CO two a year from their AI and
34:58
cloud build out, about a third of France's annual emissions.
35:03
Do not believe big tech companies when they tell you
35:07
AI will solve the climate crisis while their data centers
35:11
guzzle fossil fuels and spew pollution on a countrywide scale.
35:17
Patriotic millionaires, We're going to hold your hand when we
35:21
say this. Taxing rich people like us more does not
35:25
make us poor or unable us to keep investing in
35:29
our businesses or create jobs. That's a scare tactic used
35:34
to keep taxes on the super rich low and pass
35:38
along the costs to the working people. Hi, it's SG.
35:42
I love books because there aren't any adverts in them.
35:47
Big Tiny forty two. Why don't we spend eighty billion
35:51
on social welfare programs and the NHS and the defense
35:55
nerds can have a big fundraising show like children in
35:59
need and those who want to help they can dig
36:02
deep out of their own pockets. Electra seventy five. Did
36:07
you know that every single England football player since two
36:10
thousand and seven has given all their national team match
36:14
fees to charity. They have donated over fifteen million pounds
36:19
to date, benefiting organizations such as Uniceth, Help for Heroes
36:24
and many more. I love this so much. Alan Omlas
36:28
a drought. We are an island surrounded by water, so
36:33
why haven't we got desalination plants around the country. Middle
36:38
Eastern countries use them. And if climate change hoaxters think
36:42
sea levels are rising, then pumping seawater through desalination plants
36:47
to stock our reservoirs is an idea someone needs to
36:50
think about the real ale Vince. There's nothing radical or
36:55
wrong with that. We have that on edigibills and not
37:00
on flying, fuel duty on cars to go to work in,
37:03
but not planes for flying, and duty three for flying
37:07
but not at bus stops.
37:10
Speaker 5: This is the short short podcast Kelly.
37:12
Speaker 3: Seeing the charity adverts with young kids with cleft lips
37:16
and cleft palate got me wondering does it happen everywhere
37:20
or just in certain countries? Apparently it there is noticeably
37:24
across different geographic regions and ethnic populations Worldwide. Prevalence rates
37:31
are generally highest in populations of Asian and Native American
37:36
descent roughly one in five hundred to seven hundred and
37:40
fifty berths, intermediate in Caucasian populations about one in seven
37:46
hundred to one in one thousand berths, and lowest in
37:50
populations of African descent around one in one thousand, two
37:56
hundred berths. In the UK, it is the most common
38:00
facial birth defects in the country, affecting one in seven
38:04
hundred babies born each year, roughly one two hundred babies
38:10
every year and in the late news. BP profits more
38:15
than double as the Iran war sends oil prices soaring,
38:20
About one thousand fewer prisoners to get early release, as
38:25
Burnham Titan's Rules calls for UK bank tax to fund
38:29
cost of living help as HSBC profits hit seven point
38:34
five billion.
38:36
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, mister Kelly, you are out of time. You
38:39
must stop now, Okay.
38:41
Speaker 3: It's time to go. Guess the name of the artist
38:44
or the song that these lines came from? Rising up
38:48
back on the street. Did my time took? My chances
38:52
went the distance? Now I'm back on my feet. Just
38:56
a man and his will to survive. So many times, James,
39:00
it happens too fast. Your trade your passion for glory.
39:05
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past.
39:08
You must fight to keep them alive. Name the song
39:12
the group of the artiste. It was Ia the Tiger
39:16
by the American rock band Survivor, who was released in
39:19
May nineteen eighty two as the theme song for Rocky three.
39:24
Guess the Celebrity. Born the first of September nineteen sixty
39:29
seven in Blackburn, he is an actor, comedian and writer,
39:34
best known as a member of the League of Gentlemen
39:37
with Rees Shearsmith, Mark Gattis and Jeremy Dyson. He and
39:42
Shearsmith also co wrote and appeared in the sitcom Sykerville
39:47
and the comedy drama Inside Number Nine. His other TV
39:50
credits include Doctor Who, Bendorm, Blackpool, Shameless, Whitechapel, and Happy Valley.
39:57
Speaker 1: Who Is He?
39:58
Speaker 3: Stephen James Pemberton. Today's do Gooders are Friends of the
40:03
Elderly at f O t E dot org dot UK
40:08
and guess what. It's been a blast. But that's enough
40:12
for this special small tomatoes edition of the Crazy Shorter
40:17
than Short podcast show from me, Mike Kelly.
40:20
Speaker 4: And Me Joyce, the one with the big smile and
40:22
Russian lips.
40:24
Speaker 3: Don't forget to tell your friends to listen to the
40:26
Mike DJ Kelly Shorter than Short Podcast. Thanks for listening,
40:30
and remember you can always find the podcast by searching
40:34
or shouting the Mike DJ Kelly Shorter than Short Podcast.
40:40
Speaker 1: It's the Mike Kelly Short and Short podcast for.
40:41
Speaker 2: Your live but krusty universe. It's the Mike DJ Kelly
40:50
Shorter than Short Podcast.