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Best of Donkey of the Day · The Breakfast Club

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's time for Donkey of the Day. I'm a Democrat,
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: so being Donkey of the Day is a little bit
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: of a mixed club. So like a don Day bitches
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: a lot of my twenty years. And Donkey of the
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Bay is a new wife. Yes, Donkey of to Day
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: goes to CNN's chief legal analyst, Jeff Tubin. Jeff Tubin
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: is also a renowned reporter for The New Yorker. Jeff
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: Tuban is sixty years old, and he's been suspended by
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: the New Yorker and he's asked for some time off
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: from CNN after doing this. Let's go to Fox News
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: with Sean Hannity for the report police an unsettling answered
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: and involving CNN's chief legal analyst now off the air
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: for allegedly pleasuring himself on a zoom video call. Jeffrey Tubin,
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: who was also a staff writer for The New Yorker,
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: was suspended by the magazine for masturbating during the call
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: last week, with other New Yorker employees in w NYC
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: radio staff watching. According to Vice News, which reports the
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: incident came during a drill for election coverage. VISs says
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: when the group's returned from their breakout rooms, Tuban lowered
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: the camera. The people on the call said they could
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: see Tuben touching himself. Tuban then left the call. Moments later,
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: he called back and seemingly unaware of what his colleagues
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: had been able to see. New Yorker Magazine told Fox News,
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: Jeffrey Tubin has been suspended while we investigate the matter,
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: and in a statement to Motherboard, Tuben said quote, I
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: made an embarrassingly stupid mistake believing I was off camera.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: I apologize to my wife, family, friends, and co workers.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: I believed I was not visible on Zoom. I blame
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: zoom calls, bro Zoom calls a mentally and emotionally exhausting
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: zoom calls or scressful as hell and scratching yoda behind
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: the ears, tossing a little egg salad, lowest blood pressure
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: in scressful situations. Now, I'm not making any excuses for
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: jeff Tuban. What he did was unprofessional and totally out
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: of line. But one out of five Americans has an
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: anger management problem, and zoom calls make us all angry. Okay,
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: I have to do things to mentally emotionally prepare myself
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: for zoom calls. Now, personally, I would have seasoned my
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: meat loaf before I got on the zoom, but not
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: on the zoom, okay. Like I don't have a problem
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: giving myself a helping hand. Okay, you have to discover
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: your own potential at times, but not on a business
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: zoom call. Okay. I don't think any of us, male
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: or female, can dispute the relaxing effects of turning on
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: this sprinkless Okay. Sometimes you gotta find those clothes with
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: Fred and Daphne and make Scooby do what it do. Okay,
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: listen to me. Masturbation fights depression, all right. Back to
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: back zoom calls are depressing. Sometimes you gotta box the
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: one eyed champ to release that dopamine, to have the
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: energy and scrimp to make it through a zoom call.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: But Jeff, not like this. Okay. You can't have a
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: manage moir on the zoom all right, Jeff, I have
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: no problem what you make in pearl jam. But it's
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: a time and a place for everything, okay. And the
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: zoom a business call, it's not the place. And why
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: does your name your last name? Why does your last
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: name sound like a euphemism for masturbation tubing. Tubing sounds
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: like something you would use to describe shaking hands with
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: the milkman on the zoom. And I'm sure during this pandemic,
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: when people had the socially distance from their cut buddies,
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: all those summer flings that didn't happen you away from
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: your side chicks, I'm sure they were replaced with people
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: playing five on one for some warm custard. But what
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: do you call that? Okay, what do you call masturbation
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: on the zoom? The answer is Jeff's last name. Tubing. Okay,
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: masturbating on zoom call should absolutely be called tubing from
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: here on out, all right, Tubing your meat on zoom? Okay,
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: Tubing the purple headed yogurt slinger on zoom. Okay, Tubing
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: the Mayonnai's river on zoom, Tubing the hand pupping on zoom. Listen,
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: a lot of y'all judging Jeff for tubing on zoom,
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: But you two have met the goupman at midnight on zoom, right,
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: just not during a business call, all right? Now. Back
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: in November of twenty nineteen, Jeff Tubin was reacting to
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: a New York Times report that Trump was briefed on
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: the whistle blow a complaint before releasing military aid to Ukraine,
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: and Jeff's reaction to Trump is our reaction currently to him.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: Now he got caught, simple, Yes, he did get caught.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: Tubin for Tato sauce on zoom. Please give Jeff Tuban
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: the sweet sounds of the Hamletones. Oh now you are
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: the doge the day, do gee, oh the day. Now,
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: let the record show, um, angelie, because you're not in studio.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: Somebody in this room, all right, mind, you was five
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: minute here, somebody in this room earliest. What's wrong with that?
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: When I was discussing this story, when I was just
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: throwing it around the room, I'm not that person. Person,
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: what's wrong with that? What did he say? He says,
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: the suspension might be a little too far. Let me
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: explain it because he didn't meaning for this person. I'm
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: just saying, because how do we know it wasn't on accident.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: He took a break from his zoom call. He didn't
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: know the camera was on. It's not like he was
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: stroking his one eye monster live for people on zoom
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: and say watch this, watch this, watch this. He might
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: have paused it, or he might have thought he was
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: all for a second, because he probably closed his laptop
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: a little bit and say, hey, let me handle the
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: one eyed monster. Then I get back to the absolutely
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: no reason to be chooving for sauce on his business
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: zoom call. We also don't know if he did it
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: on purpose or by accident. How do you know that
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: purpose only he knows that. How do you people to see?
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: First of all, what do you mean when you say
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: not on purpose, you mean asturbating? No, I mean for
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: people to see he might have done that. You know,
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: some people are exhibitionists, some people get turned on by
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: people watching that. But let's say it was an accid.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: Let's say he really just thought he was, you know,
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: put you know, pushing the camera away from his junk,
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: and wanted to get a little one eyed monster going
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: before the next zoom call. Because you stopped saying one
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: eyed monster buffing the mPire player, Broka, it's a penis.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: You can say penis and it sounds way better, but
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: you can't sounds way better. You can stroke the one
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: eyed man. He was shuffling his eyepod. The moral of
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: the story is this, though I think that this has
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: been a common occurrence during the pandemic. I think it's
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: a lot more people who have been um, you know,
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: scram zoom accidents. Yeah, scrangling their sideclops on zoom. We're
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: gonna call it tuban from now on. I think it's
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: a lot of tuban going on. All right, We got
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: more coming up next with a breakfast club