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Seven Anchors That Hold When Tragedy Hits · Pastor John Piper's answers

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  Speaker 1: How many emails we get are dark emails from people
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  Speaker 1: who are looking for any glimmer of hope that they
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  Speaker 1: can get, and in the case today, it's in the
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  Speaker 1: form of an email from an anonymous man pastor Don. Hello.
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  Speaker 1: I'm sixty five, disabled and struggling to cope with immense
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  Speaker 1: loss and family trials. Over the past eighteen months, I've
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  Speaker 1: been dured the deaths of my mother, sister in law, uncle,
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  Speaker 1: brother in law, and even my dog, all within this
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  Speaker 1: short span of time. As an only child, these losses
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  Speaker 1: have deeply affected my mental and emotional health. On top
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  Speaker 1: of this, my twenty two year old grandson, who was
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  Speaker 1: once very active in the church and knew the Bible well,
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  Speaker 1: is now identifying as a transgender woman. While I've tried
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  Speaker 1: to be as accepting as I can, I've made it
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  Speaker 1: clear I cannot affirm his identity as female because I
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  Speaker 1: believe God doesn't make mistakes. This has strained our relationship.
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  Speaker 1: He now refuses to come to family gatherings un less
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  Speaker 1: I acknowledge him as a woman. I feel overwhelmed by
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  Speaker 1: these trials, and I'm not sure how much more I
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  Speaker 1: can can bear. I remain constant in prayer, and I
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  Speaker 1: am grateful for the support of your podcast, which has
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  Speaker 1: been a lifeline. How can I navigate these challenges while
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  Speaker 1: honoring God and showing love to my grandson without compromising
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  Speaker 1: my convictions? How do I find the strength to endure
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  Speaker 1: the grief and the struggles that I'm facing?
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  Speaker 2: This sixty five year old man or friend feel like
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  Speaker 2: he's a friend? Yes, makes so clear for us the
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  Speaker 2: inevitable reality that as we grow older, we not only
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  Speaker 2: face our own death, but we increasingly face the death
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  Speaker 2: of people we love. We tend to be aware of
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  Speaker 2: the fact that age makes us more conscious of our mortality,
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  Speaker 2: but we tend to be less conscious of the fact
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  Speaker 2: that age makes us vulnerable to the mortality of others.
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  Speaker 2: And that's what our friend is largely drawing our attention to.
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  Speaker 2: It isn't his own death that has made him so discouraged.
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  Speaker 2: It's the loss of four precious people, and he's even
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  Speaker 2: his dog. So to the degree that our relationships are
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  Speaker 2: meaningful to us, those losses are like amputations. They cut
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  Speaker 2: something away from our life because our life is so
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  Speaker 2: interwoven with their life. And then he adds, and it
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  Speaker 2: seems to me this is probably the most painful part
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  Speaker 2: of his unhappiness that his grandson is claiming to be
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  Speaker 2: a woman and the relationship is broken. So these two heartaches,
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  Speaker 2: the loss of loved ones, not to mention the disability
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  Speaker 2: I don't know anything about, but that complicates everything too.
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  Speaker 2: But these two heartaches, the loss of loved ones through
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  Speaker 2: death and loss of a grandson through profound disagreement about righteousness,
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  Speaker 2: are related in a sense. In one case, the pain
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  Speaker 2: comes from the precious family members dying physically, and in
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  Speaker 2: the other case, the pain comes from a precious grandson
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  Speaker 2: on the path to die eternal. So we can feel
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  Speaker 2: the combined weight of loss in both cases. And what
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  Speaker 2: we want in this situation is wisdom and love and
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  Speaker 2: strength to press on in the presence of loss loss
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  Speaker 2: physically lost relationally. It's not easy. I don't claim to
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  Speaker 2: have an easy remedy here. You live with pain. If
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  Speaker 2: you live long enough, it is possible, though, it is possible,
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  Speaker 2: and to find that strength and to press on, to
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  Speaker 2: keep going and not lose heart. It is possible because
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  Speaker 2: the Bible exists for this very reason. So all I
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  Speaker 2: have to offer besides my prayers is the powerful truth
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  Speaker 2: of God's word for these two situations, and I believe
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  Speaker 2: the word of God. The scriptures give the wisdom, they
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  Speaker 2: give the power to love, They give the strength that
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  Speaker 2: are needed in both of these painful cases. So let's
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  Speaker 2: take them one at a time. With regard to the
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  Speaker 2: loss of loved ones in death, the Bible presents us
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  Speaker 2: with at least seven precious, powerful truths that put steel
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  Speaker 2: in our spine even while we weep. Number One, to
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  Speaker 2: live is Christ and to die is Gained Philippians one
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  Speaker 2: twenty one. To believe this is to have the burden
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  Speaker 2: lifted that our loved ones are in any way hurting
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  Speaker 2: or losing or suffering at all. They're not if they
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  Speaker 2: were Christians. Number two, those who die in Christ will
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  Speaker 2: be raised with glorious new bodies at the coming of
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  Speaker 2: Jesus Verse Thessalonians four sixteen. That's precious for those who've gone.
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  Speaker 2: It's precious for a man living with a disability in
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  Speaker 2: this life. Number Three, if any of these loved ones
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  Speaker 2: was not a believer, we rivet our attention on the
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  Speaker 2: goodness and justice of God and say, with Moses, the
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  Speaker 2: judge of all the earth, will do right. In Genesis
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  Speaker 2: eighteen twenty five, we trust him. He's going to do
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  Speaker 2: right by these people by us. Number four, we grieve,
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  Speaker 2: Paul says, not as those who have no hope Verse
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  Speaker 2: Thessalonians four thirteen. Paul believes that hope will see us
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  Speaker 2: through oh grief, no matter how deep it will, So
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  Speaker 2: don't stop hoping while you grieve. Five. The steadfast love
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  Speaker 2: of the Lord is better than life Psalm sixty three
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  Speaker 2: to three. Life here on this earth in this age
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  Speaker 2: is not meant to be the best life. God is
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  Speaker 2: the best life. Get life from God. From that life
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  Speaker 2: his life. Hold this world lightly. Six. There is a
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  Speaker 2: friend who sticks closer than a brother Proverbs eighteen twenty four.
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  Speaker 2: His name is Jesus, and he promised to be with
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  Speaker 2: us always to the end of the age. Matthew twenty
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  Speaker 2: eight twenty. Stay close to Jesus. He will not leave
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  Speaker 2: you in these troubles. Finally, Number seven, you have an
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  Speaker 2: anchor of the soul, so that your boat will not
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  Speaker 2: sink in the waves of these sorrows as they break
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  Speaker 2: over you. Hebrews six nineteen says we have this as
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  Speaker 2: a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, and then
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  Speaker 2: he defines it a hope that enters into the inner
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  Speaker 2: place behind the curtain. This hope. This anchor doesn't anchor
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  Speaker 2: you to the bottom of the sea. It anchors you
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  Speaker 2: to the holiest place in heaven. The chain goes up
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  Speaker 2: into the holy place where the blood of Jesus secures you.
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  Speaker 2: Hold these seven truths, Embrace them to yourself, believe them,
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  Speaker 2: be strong in them. And the same is true with
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  Speaker 2: regard to your grandson. The Bible gives you stability, a
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  Speaker 2: place to stand, not for the sake of winning an argument,
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  Speaker 2: but for the sake of loving with truth rather than
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  Speaker 2: loving with make believe five truths to hold on to.
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  Speaker 2: Number One, God created man, male and female Genesis one,
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  Speaker 2: twenty six. This was his design from the beginning, which
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  Speaker 2: Jesus went back to when he was dealing with sexual
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  Speaker 2: issues in his day Matthew nineteen four. Number two, God
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  Speaker 2: marked off maleness with the amazing capacity to father a child.
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  Speaker 2: He marked off femaleness with the beautiful capacity to bear
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  Speaker 2: a child and nurse a child. And whether a man
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  Speaker 2: fathers or a woman bears, all of us should honor
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  Speaker 2: these gifts by the way we treat our bodies as
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  Speaker 2: male and female. Third, God warns against cross dressing Deuteronomy
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  Speaker 2: twenty two to five, and against homosexuality. Defying God's word
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  Speaker 2: puts one on the path to eternal death verset. Corinthians
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  Speaker 2: six nine and ten four. Therefore, loving a grandson does
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  Speaker 2: not equal affirming his sin, just the opposite. Love desires
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  Speaker 2: above all that he be spared the consequences of destruction.
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  Speaker 2: So love makes clear the path of life and prays
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  Speaker 2: for it and for him, and does what it can.
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  Speaker 2: Love does what it can to help a grandson see it.
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  Speaker 2: And finally, be aware that your grandson may be treating
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  Speaker 2: you in a way that is worse than you are
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  Speaker 2: treating him. There may be a proper time to draw
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  Speaker 2: his attention to this. That's not your goal, but you might.
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  Speaker 2: I've seen it work once or twice. He resents it.
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  Speaker 2: He resents it when you do not recognize his supposed
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  Speaker 2: core identity as a woman. He says he can't have
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  Speaker 2: a relationship with you while you fail to affirm his identity.
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  Speaker 2: But does he see that he's failing to affirm your
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  Speaker 2: core identity? You are, at your core a person of
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  Speaker 2: deep allegiance to Jesus and his word. That is closer
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  Speaker 2: to your truest identity than his supposed femaleness is to
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  Speaker 2: his truest identity. But unlike him, you don't resent his disapproval.
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  Speaker 2: Take note of that Jesus taught you to expect it,
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  Speaker 2: not resent it. You don't expect him to affirm your
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  Speaker 2: true identity as precious as it is infinitely precious, and
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  Speaker 2: you're not making his affirmation or his approval of your
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  Speaker 2: convictions a condition of spending time together. You can look
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  Speaker 2: him in the eye, it sounds to me from what
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  Speaker 2: you're saying, and I think it's right. You can look
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  Speaker 2: him in the eye and say, I do not approve
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  Speaker 2: or affirm of your claim to be woman. I think
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  Speaker 2: your transgender efforts are sin and that you are on
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  Speaker 2: the path through destruction if you don't repent. But I
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  Speaker 2: love you and I am willing to spend time with
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  Speaker 2: you without continually bringing that up. Are you willing to
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  Speaker 2: look me in the eye and say I do not
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  Speaker 2: approve or affirm of the goodness of your Christian convictions
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  Speaker 2: and identity. I think you're a bigot, but I love you,
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  Speaker 2: and I'm willing to spend time with you. I pray
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  Speaker 2: that God would use his word to make you strong
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  Speaker 2: in the midst of your losses and would give you
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  Speaker 2: wisdom and courage to love your grandson in the truth.
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  Speaker 1: Amen. Yeah, the seven precious powerful truths that put steel
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  Speaker 1: in our spine even while we weep. Thank you, Pastor John,
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  Speaker 1: and thanks for joining us today. If you have a
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  Speaker 1: question to ask Pastor John, even a dark one that
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  Speaker 1: comes from the pain of life that you're facing, send
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  Speaker 1: it to us. You can find a link to email
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  Speaker 1: us at Askpastor John dot com. Well, speaking of waiting
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  Speaker 1: in the darkness, why did God wait so long after
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  Speaker 1: the fall of Adam and Eve into sin to send
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  Speaker 1: the second Adam or savior, Jesus Christ. It was thousands
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  Speaker 1: of years later, and two listeners, Bryce and Craig want
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  Speaker 1: to know why it took so long. Why didn't Christ
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  Speaker 1: appear sooner and bring salvation to more people? In particular,
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  Speaker 1: what does Paul mean when he talks about the fullness
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  Speaker 1: of time in Galatians four to four. I'm tony rank you.
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  Speaker 1: We'll see you next time. For that, keep your great
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  Speaker 1: Bible questions coming in and have a great weekend. We'll
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  Speaker 1: see you on Monday.