Latest / TWRS-Leadership Straight, No Chaser / Why Most People Never Reach Their Potential (Even When Successful)

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Why Most People Never Reach Their Potential (Even When Successful) · TWRS-Leadership Straight, No Chaser

• Scott Brandt: something potentially happened, maybe you potentially had a near-death experience What would you do? After that place welcome back to together. We are stronger leadership straight no chasers and today we have Alan Lazaros on today and we were looking at your one-pager and You had highlighted you a near fatal car accident at the age of 26 which caused you to question everything. And so when you look at that situation, what was the biggest thing that came up through the questioning process that really kind of pushed you in the direction that you're at now and kind of changing that shift for you as an individual? Alan Lazaros: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm the thing and again in hindsight, it's very clear I Did very well and I was grateful and I did the traditional path. So born and raised in Massachusetts brought a little context here I did the preschool kindergarten Elementary school middle school high school college corporate thing. I'm 37 now. This is 11 years ago I got in a car accident and the thing that made that unique for me is My dad died in a car when he was 28 when I was 2 in 1991. I was 2 years old And my birth father, McCorkle, died suddenly in a car. So at this point when I was 26, this was sort of the second chance my dad never got. ⁓ hindsight, what is very clear to me now is I wasn't reaching my full potential and I had a lot of regret around that. Now, what I want to make very clear is I did very well. I wasn't a bad kid. wasn't ⁓ anything that. I actually was very successful. The truth is, my truth is, I was not doing all I could with all I had. I had high school friends and college friends and corporate friends and I brought my high school friends to college, my college friends to corporate. I had a thriving social life. And in hindsight, it's very obvious that I was... running around trying to do too many things well. I had a lot of relationships that I don't think were very good for me. I definitely wasn't reaching my full potential and I wasn't working hard enough on me. at 26, I kind of found self-improvement, personal development and personal growth. I went and I, in the last 11 years, I've really designed my whole world kind of around. Scott Brandt: And so I know you said your dad had passed away. And I did mispronounce your last name, Lazaros. was, of that, ⁓ I know within the Bible you have Lazaros and whatnot, was that a name change that took place for you or was that birth father? Alan Lazaros: That's okay. Yeah. So, so I had a stepfather from age three to 14. So from 1992, basically to the early 2000s, I had a stepfather named Steve Lazaros and I took his last name, I think around age seven. And then at 14, he left my family. My mom and stepdad did not get along. That's a polite way to put it. And, uh, he also took 90 % of the income with him. So we went from sort of boats and ski trips.com bubble, Massachusetts, very successful to How am I going to go to college? I don't have cable. You know, my mom trades in her BMW for a little Honda Civic. I get free lunch at school now because our income is so low. So that was actually a really hard year for me. fortunately, trauma response to all that was aim higher, work harder, get smarter. And only in hindsight is that clear. And so I got, you know, did very well in school, got all the scholarships and financial aid I could. They had something called No Child Left Behind back then. I got a lot of financial aid and scholarships, fortunately, so I was able to go to WPI. It's Worcester Polytechnic Institute. It's like a mini-MIT in Massachusetts. But yeah, so that's why my last name is Lazaros. My birth father was John McCorkle. My stepfather was Steve Lazaros. And left family at 14. And I haven't seen or spoken to him since. We talked a little bit on Facebook Messenger in my 20s and then a little bit in my 30s. But yeah, guys, I kind of lost three families by the time I was 14. what I mean by that is that same year, and I don't know if this is relevant or not, but I'll bring it briefly. ⁓ When I was 14 years old, I was a freshman in high school. My sister was a senior. And you guys think I look young now. Imagine me in high school, right? Pre-pubescent little boy. Hardest year of my life ever. Stepdad leaves, takes his entire extended family with him, takes 90 % of the income with him. Mom gets in a fight with my aunt Sandy. We get ostracized from her side of the family. George R. Dovolis: Mm-hmm, please. Alan Lazaros: And we don't associate much with the McCorkels anymore because we're trying to be quote unquote the Lazaroses. So by the time I'm 14 years old, I kind of lost three families. We rekindled with the McCorkels a bit and look a lot like my dad. So that was kind of hard for people, of ghost of Christmas past coming back sort of thing. But the end of the day, normal was never going to be normal for me. And I I from that for a long time. in my 30s, I've done some work where I'm George R. Dovolis: Hmm. Alan Lazaros: I want to say fully at peace with it, but I actually realized that a lot of the things that were really hard for me growing up, like for example, going from upper middle class, we had like a yacht. He got the apartment building in the yacht. We got the house and the dog and sort of no trust fund, no generational wealth, no dad. Like if it's going to be, it's up to me in hindsight. At the time it was awful, but in hindsight that really built some serious resilience and adversity. adversity and I think that now as a 37 year old man sometimes I do have the moment of ⁓ you guys you guys are soft not guys but like you know ⁓ other it's sometimes it's hard for me with with like the four-hour workweek crap and all that George R. Dovolis: No, I understand, understand, Yeah. Scott Brandt: Well, listening to that though, like ⁓ through that ⁓ taking on the personal development, the personal growth for yourself, ⁓ ⁓ ⁓ you look at that piece, because a lot of people don't to go deep. They don't like to face ⁓ whatever to be faced to overcome and they stay stuck. ⁓ And we see a lot of people blame external circumstances. when it's an internal piece. And so with kind of that drive that you had of being perfect, getting, doing, doing really well everything that you took place there, that can ⁓ a lot of people because if it's not perfect, if it doesn't turn out well, I can't do this anymore. ⁓ is who I truly am? ⁓ And a very weird thing because we've talked about kind of the bike tire situation. People will look ⁓ at Alan Lazaros: Hmm. Scott Brandt: being a spoke off the centerpiece and then that centerpiece is, I'm a business person or I'm a father, but it should be yourself in the center and then all these other spokes coming off of you. And so kind of as you've faced everything, as you've grown through everything, really, when did it click in regards to the necessary need of personal growth, personal development? Alan Lazaros: Yep. Yep. Absolutely. Great metaphor. Scott Brandt: and what you're building out with, I would say an empire, with what you and Kevin are doing, and I know you have some other stuff with your significant other, when did it really click to say, this is ⁓ and that I see the power for myself, I need to help other people to click in, to tap in, ⁓ and ⁓ change trajectory for them, so that way they're not stuck, they're not drowning, and they're not lost. Alan Lazaros: Yeah. Well, what it came back to is 11 years ago the car accident, I started something called Alan Lazaros LLC, what you'll never learn in school, but desperately need to know. So it comes back to the frustration that I had. Guys, I was a straight A student. I got what's called the president's award behind me signed by George W. Bush. Like that's why I got all the scholarships and financial aid. And I went to one of the best engineering schools in the world. I'm not saying that to brag, I'm saying that because even though I was a straight A student and I did very well in college and I got my master's in business and I got my computer engineering degree and blah, blah, blah, I didn't learn anything about personal development, personal growth or self-improvement. So it started out with, what is the deal? Like habits, courage, humility, vulnerability, character, time management, productivity, what? Like where was this in our curriculum? I was the math and science guy. I call it science, technology, engineering, mathematics, business, and finance. All that's great. But these fundamental communication, relationships, emotional intelligence, intelligence. This mission was born out of my frustration with the fact that I was a straight-A student and I didn't learn anything about any of that in my formal education. So I became obsessed with self-education and I built a company around it, essentially. George R. Dovolis: What was the first person development concept that truly changed how you saw yourself? Alan Lazaros: Nice. First one. George R. Dovolis: Yeah. Alan Lazaros: I mean, I went down the rabbit hole, right? mean, we got the Tony Robbins, got Stephen Covey's, Mandino, Rohn, all that. The first one. George R. Dovolis: Yeah that really just you just balloon from ⁓ it. You grasp from it. Alan Lazaros: Okay, I got one that that I haven't thought about in a long time, but I loved it when I heard it Jim Rohn said you can try to change your mother or your aunt or your uncle or your dad and that might change your life a little bit but it's not going to change your life that much. And as someone who grew up in a very challenging circumstance it really clicked for me and it was if you want your life to improve you have to improve. And that just that simple ⁓ switch of logic because before that I was an achiever. It was like OK I want to be successful. George R. Dovolis: Yeah. Alan Lazaros: So I have to do these things, I have to get this degree, I have to... And I was good at climbing the ladder of success, but I wasn't super focused on like, what do I need to improve on the personal development? So there's professional development and there's personal development. Professional development is the resume, the cover letter, the LinkedIn, ba ba ba, email, all that. Yeah, but the personal development piece, that's when it really clicked for me. Probably those early Jim Rohn speeches that are still on YouTube that are still really good. Yeah, Jim Rohn, he's the goat. George R. Dovolis: Exactly. ⁓ Scott Brandt: Hahaha George R. Dovolis: Jim Rome, yep. Alan Lazaros: He's the goat. George R. Dovolis: The man. You know, ⁓ at everything you've done. You spent over 12,000 hours in coaching and mentoring people. What pattern do you see that holds most people back from having success? Alan Lazaros: Yeah, the one that jumps off the page for me. Now keep in mind I'm an engineer, so a lot of people don't like this. always say this. George R. Dovolis: Mm-hmm. Alan Lazaros: And again, 12,000 hours of coaching, training, podcasting people all over the world. 6,932 one-on-one coaching sessions. So that's like hours with one person from all over the world, different clients, hundreds over the years. Okay, so ⁓ not just saying this. What I've got it boiled down to is people are not successful because they think inaccurately about one of these three things. Okay, it's either they are inaccurate about self George R. Dovolis: Mm-hmm. Alan Lazaros: which is self-awareness, they are inaccurate about others. or they are inaccurate about the world, how the world works. So the way I describe it is imagine we all have four, three 4K TVs, all of us in our head, because that's what the mind is, it's a mental map. It's like a self-driving car. it thinks it's a road and it's actually a cliff, it's gonna keep driving off a cliff and then blaming the world or blaming the government or blaming yourself, when in reality, the real culprit is inaccurate thinking. When we're two, we don't know the difference between a road and dirt road, and we don't know the difference between yellow snow and regular snow. We have to find that out the hard way, right? The truth is most people are not more successful because they think inaccurately about self others of the world. George R. Dovolis: Yeah. Alan Lazaros: all have three 4k TVs one of them is crystal clear ⁓ me the crystal clear one was the world I understood the economy I understood 195 countries 8 billion people on planet Earth 6 billion on the internet Those are all plus or minus a certain percent error, but I understood how the world worked. I didn't understand myself Because when I looked internal it was all pain Dad died lost my stuff like I looked at myself. It was pain so I didn't I went external external external right I learned the world because that was less painful so for me the clear TV 4k TV was the world the the e ish one the regular ⁓ ⁓ TV was the world the ⁓ regular definition TV semi blurry was others and then the really staticky one that I could barely see it all was self everyone one really clear one one really staticey you want and one decent one and when I coach people the gold is where you least want to dig so that's what I've found is you are not more successful because you don't believe enough in what you already believe you're not more successful because you have massive blind spots and you have tvs that you can't see clearly so how are you going to make good decisions when you don't see yourself others in the world accurately Scott Brandt: So right now if you're getting nuggets from this hit the like button if you're looking for these types of videos hit the subscribe button and Really? You've got to ask yourself you're going through if you're struggling Like highlighted there those three things which of it is hindering you as an individual and ⁓ so as an engineer, ⁓ it's that is very ⁓ unique You about And so optimization for success, when it comes, is it kind of a focus of the engineer world and optimizing different things or how does that optimization look when it comes to a drive or movement towards success? Alan Lazaros: Yeah, I think the first thing is like what is optimization? We have it above our entrance to our kitchen downstairs, our three core values, Emilie and I. We're a bit weird. Optimize, align, and aerodite. And optimize is what are you optimizing for? So right now I'm optimizing for the right amount of words put in the way to get something to land for someone else. If I talk too long, people will turn off. I talk too short, people won't get it. So you're always trying to optimize for something. And so I'll give you one more example. We have a 10 pound and 10 week challenge in our community. have 55 people. April 11th, I gotta lose some weight, fellas. The point is, I'm trying, some people are trying to gain weight, some people are trying to lose. If you're trying to gain weight and that's what you're optimizing for, eating more is good. That's a good habit. If you're trying to lose weight, eating more is a bad habit. George R. Dovolis: Mm-hmm. Alan Lazaros: So everything is good or bad, constructive or destructive, depending on the goal. So optimization is what is the point? What is the goal? What are you optimizing for? So in a business, are you optimizing for revenue or are you optimizing for impact? Now we all need to do both, but what's your syntax? So for us, it's turn your passion into purpose and to profit. Passion is what do you love? Purpose is helping others with it. Profit is third. So yes, we're optimizing for profit, after passion and purpose. And some people are profit first, that's why their business is very different than ours. the end of the day, a lot of us are running around, unconsciously and subconsciously optimizing for things that aren't ideal, drifting with the tide, person's places, things and ideas, and then wondering why we're unfulfilled. George R. Dovolis: This will be great for the listeners daily habits that truly the biggest impact of your success. What really what was the daily habit that really impacted your success? you're doing? Alan Lazaros: ⁓ Habit tracking. So 10 years ago, 11 years ago now, I had these little black notebooks that I carried around with me and I was the nerdy engineer with ⁓ ⁓ pencil in my ear ⁓ I was in the gym and I was checking off ⁓ all these habits. I called it my system of success. Now we call it peak performance tracking. All my team members, all my 29 clients, we all track metrics and habits. I always say this joke, imagine Michael Phelps as coach. George R. Dovolis: Mm-hmm. Alan Lazaros: He's like, yeah, just jump in the pool, swim around. dumbest thing ever. I don't understand. Now I know I'm a math guy, I know I'm an engineer, I know everything's numbers, I know people don't like me, I'm not the fun one at a barbecue. Here's the deal. If you want to be successful, imagine going into Apple headquarters and being like, hey, what are you guys up to? We have no idea. You have to measure. So habit tracking is the best habit I've ever created. I've been doing it for 11 years and it's unbelievable. How do you stay on track? You track. George R. Dovolis: Yeah. Yeah. Alan Lazaros: I don't even know, I'm not kidding guys. Sometimes I wonder how people are successful without tracking. It makes no sense. Like they are just unconsciously tracking something that I'm not aware of. Like if you want to lose weight, track your weight. If you want to eat less, track your calories. If you want to, you know, journal daily, track it, get a streak going. At the end of the day, we all have to do things daily and improve upon them if we want to be successful. And I think that tracking is the best habit. It just happens to be a meta- Scott Brandt: Yeah. George R. Dovolis: Yeah. Scott Brandt: It's a very interesting thing because I used to hate systems I used to love just going by the seat of my pants and then it kind of bit me in the butt So when I talked to individuals I talked about batching content But I would never do that ⁓ so for me like you were highlighting you're like, I don't understand how some people can't do this I don't understand like I look at myself, it was the fact of I felt like it was like constricting me Alan Lazaros: Mm-hmm. Scott Brandt: But now I've started doing batch recording. We'll record more videos at one time. I'm like, this is a breath of fresh air because now I'm not stressing, I'm not worrying. But it's really that first initial mindset piece. And so it is funny because you're like, I don't understand how people can't do this. But then if you're not doing it, you're like, well, that's why. ⁓ So it is a very interesting thing when you start looking, you're like, I don't understand, but then you have to go back and look at your shelf and be like, are you doing that before you start looking and saying, okay, how can I help others? Because if you're not doing it, there's no reason to be trying to help others you're kind of being counterintuitive. Alan Lazaros: Yeah, leading by example is everything. Yeah, it's everything. Yeah, I don't, I tell my team this, like, if anyone outworks me at NLU, I'll fire myself as CEO. I mean it. Like, I'll be the most committed, I'll be the most disciplined, I'll be the most on point forever. Otherwise, I don't deserve CEO. That's my truth. Scott Brandt: That's huge because you have a lot of business owners that like try to get more out of their employees and it's not it's like this isn't their dream You're there you gotta you gotta push And people it's just a weird thing. Just really the the misconception misnomer that people have Alan Lazaros: Well, you guys do a leadership podcast. I respect that. It's I mean, if you're trying to tell people to do things you're not doing, forget it. Yeah, forget it. That ain't it. I do everything that my team does. We do different things, but we all track habits, right? We all work hard. Same principles, different different customization, different directly responsible individuals. Like we're not all the same title of the same role, but the principles of our company, we all apply. And George R. Dovolis: Mm-hmm, exactly. Hmm. Alan Lazaros: If you don't like that, you're not going to fit and that's okay. That's okay. I mean, the early days I was trying to convince people, you know, I felt like, so I know I'm kind of comparing myself to Michael Jordan here, but take it easy with that. I was like, ⁓ was genuinely like Michael Jordan going back to high school. Like, please be on my team. I, I, it was so dumb. ⁓ was so dumb. I don't do that anymore. Now it's like, I'm going to lead from the, call it the point of the arrow. I'm going to lead from the front. No ivory tower. No, you guys go into battle while I watch like I'm going first even if I'm alone. I just hope I'm George R. Dovolis: Yeah. Now, know, what is what do you see the biggest productivity mistake that entrepreneurs make these days? You know, when you mentor and you coach, and you sit down with people that have these brilliant ideas, but they just miss out on productivity? What do you see? Alan Lazaros: One thing I think that jumps off the page is I don't know if people understand. I always think of like, what's the unsung hero beneath the iceberg that people can't see? Productivity is one of them. Like, no one comes to me and says, Alan, you're so productive. But that's the real reason for my success. is a byproduct of all these other things. Like, let me explain this. Health, wealth, and love, they're byproducts. ⁓ like laughter. If I want you guys to laugh, I can't just say, please laugh. I have to make a joke. Cause and effect. Laughter is an effect. The cause is a great joke. George R. Dovolis: Yeah. Alan Lazaros: All the things we want in life are effects. We need to study the causes. The cause of my success is productivity. So the mistake that I see people making is they're not focused on the right cause. If you're a company and you're not productive, if you're a chief officer and you're not productive, if you're a leader and you're not productive, your team won't be productive. My company has a very high focus on productivity. I teach it, I speak about it, I live it, I breathe it, I study it, I practice it. I'm talking all the time. The Art of Impossible, Peak Performance by Brad Stilberg, Peak, I can name a bunch more books. I have all the Jim Collins books right here. We were just teaching it in group coaching. I have six other books right here. My point is we live and breathe productivity. The issue I see is people don't realize that productivity is, imagine if you went to like an Amazon fulfillment center and everyone was just chilling. There's no way I got something in three hours the other day, right? Amazon got to where it is because it's so productive. Whether you like love or hate Amazon or Bezos, I don't care. That's not what I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is productivity is the root cause of all success. You just can't tell because you've to dig really deep to find that root. But the big tree that you see on the surface that you want of health, wealth or love is actually a byproduct of a ton of productivity, time management and productivity skills. Scott Brandt: You George R. Dovolis: You know, when you build a team, what does leaders ⁓ look beyond talent, you know, so when you look at someone, and you look at their talent, what should they look beyond that? Alan Lazaros: character. People say, so I have a 24 person team and I started out with just two of us, Kevin and I, business partners. And I know Scott, you've met Kev and nine years ago we teamed up. So 11 years ago I started Alan Lizer's LLC. We teamed up nine years ago, created what was called the Hyperconscious Podcast. Now it's Next Level University. But What I look for, what we look for is the character traits and the core values and then the skills. So the character traits and core values that we focus on is high humility, high work ethic and a high improvement orientation. Okay, so have our absolute people and our absolutely not people. I'll tell you our absolutely not people, spoiled brats and bullies. Okay, people who want huge rewards for minimal effort, we don't go near you ever. If you have a birthday week, we're not interested. ⁓ because you believe on a subconscious level the world revolves around you. Number two is bullies people who tear others down to feel bigger and better about themselves. So we don't go near those two people. Our absolute people have high humility, inward humility. work ethic, like nothing works unless you work ⁓ orientation, meaning you can look in the mirror and you actually want to look in the mirror and you want to see in the mirror, wow, okay, I am getting a little fat. Like that's a metaphor for, because at NLU, if you aren't willing to face hard truths about yourself, you're not going to fit in because you're not going to work on something you don't accept and admit. And we aren't about that. We aren't about that. We're a personal development self-improvement company. You can't self-improve until you self-aware and self-accept. So what I would say is look at core values. Look at character. ⁓ piece of this with the leadership thing. If you have a team, people words lie, actions don't. That isn't true. It's the 21st century. Words lie and actions lie when they're around you. You need to know who someone is and what they are when no one's watching. George R. Dovolis: Yes. Alan Lazaros: Okay, what people say and what people do around you can be faked. I've seen it done. what I need to know is, and this is what I use as my mental framework, you can take it or leave it. I say, can this person sit alone in a dark gym on a StairMaster, by themselves for 30 minutes, not posted on Instagram, and actually do a workout for themselves? If the answer is yes, they can work at NLU. George R. Dovolis: Yes. Alan Lazaros: But if you know that you know that you know that you know that everything they do is for social validation, I'm not interested. Scott Brandt: So many nuggets here really so many nuggets and For individuals that are listening if they want to kind of go a little bit deeper with you Alan Where can they go? Like what's the ⁓ piece for them to really kind of tap into that go a little deeper with what you offer? Alan Lazaros: Yeah, thank you guys. I really appreciate it. Yeah, the great questions just, you know, keep spreading this stuff into the world. The world needs this. Where can you go? Nextleveluniverse.com, spelled just like it sounds. And then the podcast is Next Level University, spelled just like it sounds. We have almost 2,400 episodes. This is the tagline. Success and personal development in your pocket every single day from anywhere on the planet, completely free. And... Kevin and I didn't realize this at the time, but in hindsight, we both grew up without dads. were both raised by two women. I was raised by my mom and my older sister. He was raised by his mom as Mima. His dad left when he was young. didn't know his dad until he was 27 years old. And so sort of became the male role models we never had just unconsciously without realizing it. And that's kind of what I think NLU is kind of becoming we don't talk from a mountain We are still striving. have not arrived. I'm 37. He's 36. Like, listen, we're not going to talk as some gurus. Like you should feel like you're on the journey with us. And we're all on the train to the next level, our own unique next level. I don't care how hard your past has been, how hard your present is. There's always a bigger, better, better future on the other side of overcoming adversity. we just believe that deeply. And so we're going to be on the train with you. We're not going to be talking from some arrival point. George R. Dovolis: I know we let me just ask this last question before we get off here. I always ask about legacy. What do you what do you want to do about your legacy? What do want people to think about when that time comes? ⁓ What legacy do you want to leave? Alan Lazaros: I think internally it's, I want to be someone who can look himself in the mirror and say, did all I could with all I had because at 26, I couldn't say that. Like that car accident, that was my moment of, I didn't put it all in the court, fellas. I rested on talent. I really did. Not, not, I did more than the average bear, but wasn't maxed out. I wasn't. So the internal one. The external one would be, to bring personal development self-improvement and personal growth to as many human beings as possible because what the hell fellas like ⁓ was that in school? Like we obviously like that to me the root cause of all human suffering is ignorance and apathy You either don't know any better or you don't care and and I think that like we all sweep our own porch the whole world will be clean the great philosopher said like You got to start at home ⁓ in inside You gotta start with you. If you're not exercising, you gotta start there. gotta start there. Lead by example, I can't watch anymore clowns microphones talking. It needs be something you live before you say it. ⁓ Kevin and try really hard to do that. Scott Brandt: No, that me laugh. But we say, if you're looking for these types of videos, hit the subscribe button. And ⁓ you've to ask yourself, what's that perspective? What's holding you back? If you're looking something, our community, Alan and Kevin's community, find somebody that you really resonate with that can help you get to that next level. Other than that, we appreciate you coming on this journey with us. Allow us to be part of your journey, and we'll catch you on the next episode. George R. Dovolis: Yes. Alan Lazaros: Thank you, fellas.