Latest / Voices for Voices® / Diagnosed With Autism in My 30s | Why People Doubted Me | Episode 477

Transcript

Diagnosed With Autism in My 30s | Why People Doubted Me | Episode 477 · Voices for Voices®

• 0:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Hey everyone, it's Justin here, Voices for Voices.
• 0:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Thank you so much for joining us on this episode.
• 0:08
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• 0:18
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• 0:35
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• 0:41
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• 1:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're built and founded on uh mental health, mental challenges, uh trauma recovery.
• 1:15
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• 1:22
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• 1:27
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• 1:29
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• 1:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We want to reach and help three billion people over the course of my lifetime and beyond.
• 1:36
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• 1:42
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• 2:01
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• 2:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh, we have a wide range of topics, we talk about easy topics, we talk about hard topics, we talk about controversial topics at times, we're less about politics, more about culture and humanity, and that's what you will find each and every time you tune in to the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast.
• 3:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I'm your host, Justin Allen Hayes, founder of Voices for Voices.
• 3:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I am currently going through mental challenges myself, which is how Voices for Voices was founded.
• 3:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh this month, uh the month of April here in 2026, uh is Autism Awareness Month.
• 3:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so we're just gonna highlight uh some areas of autism, and just like with everything with humans, we all have challenges.
• 4:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh, none of us are perfect, and that's what makes us so unique.
• 4:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And autism happens to be one of the areas that I've been diagnosed on the so there's a there's this there's a there's a spectrum, right?
• 4:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So there's one side and then there's the other, and so you can kind of fall at one end or the other or somewhere in between.
• 4:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so the the end of the spectrum that I uh that I fall into um is related to it's related to lights and sounds.
• 5:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh you know, people say, oh, well, you know, if I had a you know a TV light or a spotlight or any type of light that was shined at me, like yeah, that'd be uncomfortable.
• 5:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And same with sounds, that well, you know, if the TV or the radio or a band, uh, you know, just naming a few.
• 5:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If it's too loud, we'll just turn it down.
• 5:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If there are strobe lights, different types of lights, you know, that can be found at a concert, and so you have on one hand you have the sound being loud, and then on the other hand, you have the lights at the same time, and what that does to me with the autism is what I I I believe, like I'm not a non-medical professional, uh, but what I understand it is called when that happens, like sensory overload, where all of our senses or a few of our senses are just on overloads.
• 6:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: There's so much going on, right?
• 6:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If you go to a festival, you know, there's uh there's just sensory overload with sounds and uh with uh again different lights, just people in mass moving at the same time.
• 7:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh just giving examples here for me uh that may relate to you or somebody you know.
• 7:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And again, these are things that how do I say this best for me?
• 7:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: These aren't things that another person can see in me or in a person with autism.
• 7:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: These aren't again, you these aren't things you can be like, oh, that person has this area of autism, or is here on the spectrum like the mental challenges, they're silent in nature, they're silent, and especially there's nonverbal autism, and then there you know, there's verbal.
• 8:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And sometimes with the verbal doesn't make sense what an individual is saying or trying to say, and a nonverbal is just that you're not you're not able to even hear what what the individual is thinking and saying, or answering a question, or asking a question.
• 9:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so I I I just think it's important that we we talk about it and make people aware.
• 9:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This isn't to say that other things are important.
• 9:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It is to say that people with autism and other diagnoses like and like any other thing that may show a person is a is a little bit you know, a little bit more unique than others they get made fun of.
• 10:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And that's not right.
• 10:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's wrong.
• 10:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You know, it's not the it's not the persons the person that wake up and say, Oh, I wanna I wanna have autism and I w I these are this is something I wanted And so just like with anything we don't want to make fun of people it's just it it's not it's not good, it's not healthy, makes people feel left out.
• 10:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's if the person is able to understand what's going on.
• 10:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so with it with this month being the Autism Awareness Month, it being autism has been more and more as the years have progressed something that counselors, doctors, you name it are are keen to whether it's the test for it or something different.
• 11:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Now individuals are again being being maybe tested for it or diagnosed with autism versus when I was growing up in the 1980s.
• 12:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I'll share this like I've shared previously that there's been times off camera, and I think maybe at least one show where one of our shows where a guest is kind of challenged.
• 12:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Well, are you sure that are you sure that you're you're die getting diagnosed earlier than in your thirties?
• 12:51
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I said, well, well no, I to my knowledge that autism wasn't really something the doctors looked at as much ras in depth with with patients in the eighties and guess the nineties too.
• 13:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: At least part of the nineties.
• 13:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so that hurt that hurt kinda bad because number one, I didn't I didn't ask to have all autism.
• 13:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Okay.
• 13:54
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And then number two, when it's kind of like a form of bullying in a way, without saying I'm bullying you or I'm calling you names.
• 14:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's still a form of bullying.
• 14:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Somebody says, Are you sure?
• 14:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Are your doctors sure?
• 14:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Because that it's very rare.
• 14:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Almost very rare.
• 14:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Even more rare and rare and rare as if nobody gets diagnosed with autism later in life.
• 14:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so that hurt.
• 14:51
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It hurt bad, didn't it?
• 14:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It was just the guests that we have on our shows.
• 14:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We have we have tons of guests.
• 15:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: All kinds of backgrounds.
• 15:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so whether the guests knew it or not, it it it hurt because I was being questioned on, well, are you sure?
• 15:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I didn't ask to have this happen, and yes, this did occur in my thirties.
• 15:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so I'm able to try to manage it the best that I can.
• 15:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so, in a way, I I kinda know what it's like to be bullied, whether again, whether whether the person is outright saying I'm bullying you or making fun of you or me, or it's just her.
• 16:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I can only imagine others with autism if and when they have that same type of thing happen to them.
• 16:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Maybe on a much deeper deeper level where the bullying is very more straightforward.
• 17:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like, well, you can't do this, or you're using you're using autism as a crutch.
• 17:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Well, you know, if if I'm in a meeting and I need to share my you know mental challenges and that, I'll share those.
• 17:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But for somebody to say, well, you're using it as a crutch to make people feel bad for you.
• 17:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I don't want anybody to feel bad for me.
• 17:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Absolutely not.
• 17:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's the last thing I want.
• 17:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I want to be treated just as a human being.
• 18:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So what if I have mental challenges?
• 18:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'm just sh I'm just sharing that.
• 18:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'm not using it as a crutch.
• 18:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'm just sharing that information.
• 18:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And if somebody wants to say, oh, you're using it as a crutch, you know, to get what you want or to get through a situation or what whatever that may be, that hurts people whether they know it or not.
• 18:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so for me, when I found out in my thirties, it kind of made sense.
• 19:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I was able to process it fairly well, I suppose.
• 19:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's when I when I say I'm trying to manage it the best way I can, that that's really what I'm getting at, is I'm able to process my diagnoses maybe a little bit better than somebody else.
• 19:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But if when people are making fun telling you or me or anybody with anything, forget forget that it's autism that we're talking about.
• 19:58
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Just anything, they say, oh, you're just using this as a crutch.
• 20:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I don't know.
• 20:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Maybe some people do use it as a crutch.
• 20:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The people that I know that have autism, all they're trying to do is just let people know.
• 20:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like there's part of part of autism is taking things literally.
• 20:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like if there's a comment or a topic comes up, some may take it literally when it may just be part of a conversation, and not that it's a joke, it just might not be meant to be taken literally.
• 21:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like, oh my gosh, they're talking about this particular topic, so it has to be exactly what this is what this person is saying.
• 21:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Not a part of it, not some of it, it could just be I don't know, maybe something.
• 21:36
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: How's the weather?
• 21:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so you start talking about the weather, and and there may be like, oh yeah, this is the time time of the year for I don't know.
• 21:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's not, this is hypothetical.
• 21:51
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You say, Oh, this is you know, hurricane season, and well, the person, the other person might go, oh my gosh, they say.
• 22:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's hurricane season.
• 22:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Is there gonna be a hurricane today?
• 22:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Tonight?
• 22:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Tomorrow?
• 22:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Do I do I live some in a climate where hurricanes occur?
• 22:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so that's what I mean where people take things literally.
• 22:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: There's nothing wrong with that.
• 22:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's why sharing.
• 22:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You know, here and they've heard sharing is caring.
• 22:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's hard to share these types of topics in these areas with people.
• 22:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It is very hard.
• 22:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: As a person over over 470 episodes, um, there's so many topics, so many things I've been so transparent on that it's not easy to talk about them.
• 23:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And they seem like it is.
• 24:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And let people be people.
• 24:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Let's not bully people.
• 24:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Somebody, as we say, this is autism awareness month.
• 24:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Somebody says they have autism.
• 24:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You hear somebody has autism, a friend's parent, loved one, significant other shares it have a little bit of grace.
• 25:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Because you're not perfect either.
• 25:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: None of us are perfect.
• 25:19
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So how dare anybody?
• 25:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: How dare anybody, how dare anybody judge a person and or say, well, that person's using autism as a crutch.
• 25:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I would love for me to not have the diagnoses that I have.
• 25:51
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I would love for that, and I'm sure you would too, and others, and maybe you don't, and that's great.
• 26:03
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: There's some of us to do, and so we're doing the best we can, we're doing the best we can, we're doing the best we can, just like you are, and so in closing, for everybody out there, whether you have autism or not, whether you've been diagnosed with anything that affects your day-to-day life, certain situations, maybe you have panic attacks in certain situations.
• 26:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I know I do get close to having panic attacks, and sometimes still do much, much, much, much, much less than I have had in the past.
• 27:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But there are still times where I have and or feel as though I'm having a panic attack.
• 27:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so let the takeaway from this show be let's just show kindness, courtesy, show a little bit of grace.
• 27:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Let's not judge others.
• 27:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Karma's a real thing.
• 27:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I think I'm still I'm getting karma from things that I've done and earlier in my life.
• 27:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So karma's a real thing.
• 28:03
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so now I with the knowledge I have about me and my body and others, I try to do the best I can.
• 28:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's just we'll leave it right there.
• 28:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Thank you for joining us on this episode of the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast.
• 28:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If you'd be bit if you would be so kind as to give us a big thumbs up, follow, subscribe, share our show.
• 28:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You reach out to maybe 25, 50, 75 contacts in your phone, let them know about our show.
• 29:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We don't know how long we're gonna be left, how long we're gonna be here on earth.
• 29:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so we want to maximize our time and effort and reaching and helping and sharing, just as I shared about my autism diagnosis in this show.
• 29:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Follow us, keep up with us on social media, and let's celebrate everybody's voice, even if they're unable to share their voice.
• 29:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And until next time, let's please be a voice for ourselves and somebody else in need.
• 29:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Thank you.
• 29:54
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We'll see you next time.
• 29:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Bye for now.