Latest / New Manager Conversations with Fexingo: First 90 Days, Managing Former Peers, and Leadership Basics / How New Managers Can Handle Imposter Syndrome
Transcript
- Lucas: There is a specific moment in a new manager's first ninety days that nobody warns you about. It's not the budget meeting. It's not the first performance review. It's the moment you realise you have no idea what you're supposed to be doing, and you're terrified someone will find out. Luna: Imposter syndrome. But I feel like we hear that term so much now it almost loses its teeth. What's the actual data on it for new managers? Lucas: Catalyst published a study last year — 2024 — specifically on first-time managers. They surveyed just over two thousand people across North America and Europe. Sixty-seven percent reported feeling like a fraud at least once a week during their first three months in the role. Luna: Two-thirds. That's not a fringe problem. Lucas: And the study found something else interesting. The feeling doesn't correlate with actual competence. People with strong track records as individual contributors were just as likely to report imposter feelings as people who had struggled. It's a role transition problem, not a skill problem. Luna: So you can be the best engineer on the team, and you still feel like you're faking it when you're the one setting priorities. Lucas: Exactly. And I think the reason is that as an individual contributor, you have a clear feedback loop. You finish a task. You see the result. You get a green check mark. As a manager, your work is invisible for weeks or months. You don't get a green check mark. You just have a vague sense that you're probably doing it wrong. Luna: There's a specific trigger that comes up a lot with our listeners who are managing former peers. You used to be equals. Now you're supposed to give them feedback. How do you not feel like a fraud in that conversation? Lucas: That is probably the single most common scenario I hear about. And the Catalyst data backs it up. They found that managers who were promoted from within the team reported imposter feelings at a rate of seventy-one percent — even higher than the overall average. Partly because the relationship hasn't reset yet. Luna: So what's the move? Do you just power through and hope it fades? Lucas: You can, but there's a better approach. I want to talk about something called a 'competence log.' It's a technique I learned from a leadership coach who works with new managers in fintech. The idea is simple. Every day for the first ninety days, you write down exactly one thing you did that was a manager thing, not an individual contributor thing. Luna: Give me an example of what counts. Lucas: Sure. Not 'I fixed a bug.' That's individual contributor work. But 'I noticed a pattern in the bugs the team is reporting and I scheduled a process review.' Or 'I asked a team member about their career goals and I heard something I didn't expect.' Or 'I attended a cross-functional meeting and represented my team's priorities without over-committing.' Luna: I like that because it forces you to recognise that managing is a different skill set. You're not supposed to be good at it on day one. Lucas: That's the whole point. The imposter feeling comes from comparing yourself to an unrealistic standard — usually the standard of being a perfect manager immediately. But nobody is. The competence log gives you concrete evidence that you are doing the new job, even if it feels awkward. Luna: Did you have a specific case where you saw this work in practice? Lucas: Yeah. There's an engineering manager at a mid-size fintech — I'll call her Priya. She was promoted to lead a team of six, and three of them had been on the team longer than she had. One of them was ten years older. She told me she couldn't sleep before her first one-on-one with that person because she was convinced he would see right through her. Luna: I can imagine. What happened? Lucas: She started using the competence log after that first one-on-one, which actually went fine. But she didn't feel fine. She wrote down 'I asked a senior engineer about his biggest frustration with our current process, and he said nobody had ever asked him that before.' That was her entry for the day. Over three months, she built up about seventy entries. She told me that by the end of the ninety days, she could look back and see a pattern of her actually doing the job. Luna: So it's not about instant confidence. It's about building a case file for yourself. Lucas: Exactly. And I think that's the most honest way to deal with imposter syndrome as a new manager. You don't try to talk yourself into feeling confident. You collect evidence that you are doing the work, even when it feels fake. Over time, the evidence wins. Luna: There's another trigger I want to hit. The first budget meeting. Do new managers really feel imposter syndrome about money? Lucas: Absolutely. And it's a different flavor. Because as an individual contributor, you never had to justify spending. You just needed a new laptop or a software license, and your manager approved it. Now you're the one sitting in a room with the director of finance, and you have to argue for a hundred thousand dollars in headcount or tools, and you have no frame of reference for whether your ask is reasonable. Luna: So what does the competence log look like for that? Lucas: In that case, the entry might be 'I prepared a one-page justification for our team's software renewal, including usage data from the last six months.' Or 'I asked the finance director what information would make my request easier to approve, and I took notes.' Those are manager actions. They don't require you to be a finance expert. They require you to show up and ask the right questions. Luna: I wonder if there's a gender dimension here too. I've seen data suggesting women are more likely to self-report imposter syndrome even when their performance ratings are identical to men's. Lucas: The Catalyst study did look at that. They found that women reported imposter feelings at a rate of seventy-three percent versus sixty-two percent for men. But here's the twist: when they controlled for things like whether the manager had received formal leadership training, the gap narrowed significantly. Training helped women more than it helped men in reducing those feelings. Luna: So part of the solution is structural. Companies can invest in training and it actually moves the needle. Lucas: Which is good news, because it means imposter syndrome isn't just a personal failing you have to fix on your own. The organization can create conditions where it's less likely to take hold. But until that happens for every new manager, the competence log is something you can do tonight, on your own, for free. Luna: Before we go deeper into the budget meeting scenario, I want to touch on something you said about the show itself. We deliberately don't run ads on these episodes. And that's a choice — it keeps the conversation focused on what's useful, not on what sells. Lucas: Yeah, and it's not a small trade-off. Most business podcasts run ad breaks every eight to ten minutes. We skip all of that. The trade-off is that if you find this kind of specific, ad-free advice valuable, there's a way to support it. It's buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. Luna: And that support is what keeps us from ever having to put a 'brought to you by' sticker on an episode about something like imposter syndrome. So if the competence log idea helps you, or if any of our past episodes have helped you navigate a career decision, that link is there. Lucas: Alright. Back to the budget meeting. Let's say you're that new manager sitting across from the finance director. You have your one-pager. You've done your homework. What's the specific question that triggers the imposter feeling more than any other? Luna: I'm guessing it's something like 'Why do you need this?' or 'Can you justify the ROI?' Lucas: Close. The question that trips up most new managers is 'What's your contingency if this doesn't work?' Because it forces you to admit uncertainty. And admitting uncertainty feels like admitting incompetence when you're new. But actually, the best answer is 'I'm not sure yet. I'd like to talk to the team and come back with a plan B by next week.' That's a manager answer. An individual contributor would try to have the answer on the spot and probably get it wrong. Luna: So the competence log entry would be 'I told the finance director I didn't know and I set a follow-up meeting.' That's a win. Lucas: Exactly. And the more you do that, the more you internalise that not knowing is part of the job. The imposter feeling feeds on the idea that you should know everything. The competence log starves it by showing you that you're doing the right thing even when you don't have the answer. Luna: There's one more trigger I want to cover. Hiring. When you're a new manager and you have to hire someone, especially if they're more experienced than you, the imposter voice gets loud. Lucas: Loud is an understatement. I've had new managers tell me they almost didn't hire a candidate because the candidate was too good and they were afraid the person would figure out their manager didn't know what they were doing. That is the imposter syndrome talking directly into your decision-making. Luna: How do you counteract that? Lucas: First, you recognise that hiring someone smarter or more experienced than you is a sign of good management, not weakness. Second, you use the competence log to track the hiring process itself. 'I wrote a job description that accurately reflects the role.' 'I asked behavioral questions that tested for culture add, not just culture fit.' 'I recommended a candidate who will make the team stronger.' Those are all manager actions. Luna: And over time, you build a track record of good hires. That's concrete evidence that you're doing the job. Lucas: Right. And the interesting thing is, imposter syndrome tends to peak around day sixty and then gradually decline. By day ninety, most people report it's still there but much quieter. The competence log accelerates that decline because you're not relying on memory. You have a written record of fifty or sixty manager moments. Luna: What about the scenario where the imposter feeling never fully goes away? Is that okay? Lucas: I think it's more than okay. I think a small amount of imposter syndrome can keep you humble and curious. The problem is when it paralyzes you. The competence log is not about erasing the feeling. It's about giving you enough evidence to act anyway. Luna: So if you're a new manager listening right now, the action item is simple. Start a log tonight. Write down one manager thing you did today. If you can't think of one, write down 'I started a competence log.' That counts.