Latest / Unfiltered: Dare to Level Up / Lynn Zielasko Unfiltered — Episode 4: Jeremy Garcia’s 20-Year Fight and Redemption

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Lynn Zielasko Unfiltered — Episode 4: Jeremy Garcia’s 20-Year Fight and Redemption · Unfiltered: Dare to Level Up

• 0:03
  Speaker0: Welcome to Unfiltered: Dare to Level Up with Lindsay Lasko.
• 0:07
  Speaker0: We have real conversations about addiction recovery,
• 0:10
  Speaker0: trauma, mindset, relationships, business, and leadership,
• 0:13
  Speaker0: and what it truly takes to become your strongest self. It's more than a
• 0:17
  Speaker0: podcast. It's a movement for healing, growth, and purpose.
• 0:21
  Speaker0: We're bridging the gap, bringing together people in recovery,
• 0:24
  Speaker0: entrepreneurs, business leaders, advocates, And changemakers
• 0:28
  Speaker0: who believe awareness creates impact, challenging you to rise
• 0:32
  Speaker0: above limitations, think bigger, lead stronger, and level
• 0:36
  Speaker0: up one decision at a time. No filters, no fluff,
• 0:39
  Speaker0: just real conversations that create real change.
• 0:47
  Speaker0: Welcome to Unfiltered.
• 0:50
  Speaker0: Dare to level up. Today I
• 0:54
  Speaker0: have Jeremy Garcia, who is my
• 0:57
  Speaker0: right-hand man at Kennedy's Place. He is the glue.
• 1:01
  Speaker0: He is the manager, the peer support.
• 1:05
  Speaker0: He is the guy who leads by example.
• 1:09
  Speaker0: And I would not be— Kennedy's Place would not
• 1:13
  Speaker0: be where it's at without Jeremy Garcia. He has—
• 1:18
  Speaker1: Is.
• 1:19
  Speaker0: a huge part of my life and of
• 1:23
  Speaker0: many other people's lives. And so I wanted him to come and talk
• 1:28
  Speaker0: about what Jeremy's life used to look like, what Jeremy's
• 1:32
  Speaker0: life looks like now, because I know it looks very different.
• 1:37
  Speaker0: So you can, you can go back as far as you want.
• 1:41
  Speaker0: I know it started in Wapato.
• 1:45
  Speaker0: Yeah.
• 1:48
  Speaker1: My name is Jeremy. I'm an addict. I was
• 1:52
  Speaker1: born and raised in Wapato,
• 1:56
  Speaker1: Washington. I've been in kind
• 2:01
  Speaker1: of a domestic violence family. My mom and dad always were arguing
• 2:04
  Speaker1: and fighting all the time. And so I was like back and forth from
• 2:09
  Speaker1: the streets to my parents' house. Long story short,
• 2:13
  Speaker1: I was just Just always just sticking
• 2:17
  Speaker1: around, you know, just trying to go to school and do all the good things,
• 2:20
  Speaker1: right? But then after a while, like when I got to a teenage
• 2:24
  Speaker1: spot in my life, my mother was always
• 2:28
  Speaker1: drinking and always hanging out with people in
• 2:32
  Speaker1: our kitchen. And so my job was— My job
• 2:37
  Speaker1: was to go to school and, stay out of the way, basically.
• 2:40
  Speaker1: So when I got home, my room was basically my, my fortress.
• 2:44
  Speaker1: I, I was always in my room. Um,
• 2:48
  Speaker1: so after a while, um, a few years passed,
• 2:51
  Speaker1: um, I started getting into trouble. I started hanging out with bad
• 2:55
  Speaker1: crowds. I did all the things, uh, I was outside a lot.
• 2:58
  Speaker1: I felt like the streets and the street life was my family.
• 3:02
  Speaker1: Um, yeah. And, uh, I After a while, like one
• 3:07
  Speaker1: day I came home, I remember this very, very moment.
• 3:11
  Speaker1: I came home looking for something to eat and I found this plate with,
• 3:15
  Speaker1: uh, some powder on it. Okay. And I thought, I thought it was— I
• 3:19
  Speaker1: was so young, I thought it was, um, like mashed potatoes. Okay.
• 3:23
  Speaker1: And, uh, it was, uh, not mashed potatoes. Okay. It was—
• 3:26
  Speaker0: Mashed potatoes,
• 3:26
  Speaker0: like, like—
• 3:27
  Speaker1: Like mashed potatoes, you know, like the instant mashed potatoes.
• 3:30
  Speaker0: Okay. I'm like, Mashed potatoes don't look like that.
• 3:32
  Speaker1: I know, but then I look
• 3:33
  Speaker1: at it for a while, I go close to it, and I'm like, okay.
• 3:36
  Speaker1: And I've seen movies, right? I see movies like, you know, like making lines,
• 3:40
  Speaker1: and, you know, I see Scarface, I've seen all that stuff. And I'm like,
• 3:43
  Speaker1: oh, okay, well, it's— this is not mashed potatoes. Okay,
• 3:47
  Speaker1: so my mind, uh, I was like, all right, you know what, I'm gonna try
• 3:51
  Speaker1: this. Dude, my life changed when I tried that.
• 3:55
  Speaker1: It was, uh, crystal meth. And it was one,
• 3:59
  Speaker1: one line. I swear my life just changed. My room
• 4:03
  Speaker1: went from hoarded, nasty to clean as fucking
• 4:07
  Speaker1: spotless. Okay. Right. And, um, yeah,
• 4:11
  Speaker1: my whole life started changing. Um, I started using it
• 4:14
  Speaker1: every day. Um, I needed to go to school. Um, if I
• 4:18
  Speaker1: didn't have it, I wasn't going to school. Um, I needed it to
• 4:22
  Speaker1: function. Um, I wasn't a recreational
• 4:26
  Speaker1: user. I started and I couldn't stop.
• 4:29
  Speaker1: Um, I started getting into relationships that were really not
• 4:34
  Speaker1: stable relationships, okay? Because I didn't know how to,
• 4:38
  Speaker1: um, be in a healthy relationship,
• 4:41
  Speaker1: okay? I was always around domestic violence
• 4:45
  Speaker1: and like always around aggressive, um, people like my
• 4:49
  Speaker1: parents. And so I got, um,
• 4:55
  Speaker1: uh, my girlfriend pregnant, 16. Uh,
• 4:58
  Speaker1: so I had to drop out of school. I had to get a job.
• 5:02
  Speaker1: Um, I tried, I got a job and all this and that, and I was
• 5:06
  Speaker1: just trying to like go to work and come home. And then I remember one
• 5:09
  Speaker1: day my mom's like really angry with, I don't
• 5:12
  Speaker1: know, she was coming down or something. She was just really angry and she was
• 5:15
  Speaker1: like, what are you doing with your life? And I'm like,
• 5:16
  Speaker1: I'm I'm going to school. What do you mean? What am I doing? I'm going
• 5:19
  Speaker1: to school. I'm going to work. I'm trying to be for
• 5:24
  Speaker1: my kid. I don't know how to be a dad. I'm 16. But come to
• 5:28
  Speaker1: find out, my mom was under the influence a lot. And so it was rough.
• 5:32
  Speaker1: It was really rough. So after a while,
• 5:37
  Speaker1: I started using. I went on a 20-year binge.
• 5:40
  Speaker1: And those—
• 5:41
  Speaker0: 20-year binge. Not a day or two, a 20-year
• 5:44
  Speaker0: binge.
• 5:45
  Speaker1: 20-year binge.
• 5:45
  Speaker0: So you never stopped one time in 20 years?
• 5:48
  Speaker1: I've stopped, but I only stopped
• 5:52
  Speaker1: for a little bit. So a binge is like I would stop
• 5:56
  Speaker1: court-ordered and then I'll stop to like,
• 5:59
  Speaker1: I don't know, be a better parent or stop because the relationship,
• 6:03
  Speaker1: they were catching on basically. And so after a while I
• 6:07
  Speaker1: went back. So it was on and off. Say that.
• 6:12
  Speaker0: When did you leave Wapato?
• 6:14
  Speaker1: I left Wapato, uh,
• 6:16
  Speaker1: around— I'm 37, so 20
• 6:21
  Speaker1: years ago. I ran away from my father because
• 6:25
  Speaker1: my father was very abusive and very angry person, and, um, I was just done
• 6:29
  Speaker1: with it. I was trying so hard to stay home and not get
• 6:33
  Speaker1: in trouble, but, um, in Wapato I was always
• 6:37
  Speaker1: getting in trouble. I was hanging out with gang members, I was hanging out with
• 6:40
  Speaker1: the wrong crowd. My dad would leave for work and come home and I would
• 6:43
  Speaker1: just be around people and he would just get so upset that he would just
• 6:47
  Speaker1: take his anger out on me. And so after
• 6:50
  Speaker1: a while, um, I was like, forget this.
• 6:54
  Speaker1: I hopped in the shower. I remember this very— this
• 6:59
  Speaker1: moment. I was like, I'm done. I got into the shower. I left the shower
• 7:01
  Speaker1: on for an hour. I hopped out the window and left him a note and
• 7:05
  Speaker1: says, I'm leaving. I'm coming back to Seattle.
• 7:07
  Speaker0: Right.
• 7:07
  Speaker1: So I came back to Seattle
• 7:09
  Speaker1: and then, um, Yeah. I came back to
• 7:13
  Speaker1: my mom's and my mom was like, okay, well, you come back, you need to,
• 7:15
  Speaker1: um, follow rules, you know, do what I say,
• 7:19
  Speaker1: um, stay out of trouble. Um, if you go to jail, then you're going
• 7:23
  Speaker1: back right to your dad's. Um, but yeah,
• 7:26
  Speaker1: Wapato really was hard. So my dad wasn't around,
• 7:30
  Speaker1: so I was hanging out with a bunch of gang members.
• 7:34
  Speaker1: And so I was on house arrest too for the first couple months.
• 7:37
  Speaker1: And, um, it was a lot.
• 7:41
  Speaker1: Um, I was getting into like fights in the middle of the,
• 7:44
  Speaker1: uh, in my front yard. Uh, I was getting like jumped
• 7:49
  Speaker1: into in the gangs because I was getting beat up by the Sureños a lot
• 7:52
  Speaker1: because I was coming around with my red shoelaces. And I was,
• 7:56
  Speaker1: I was done with it. So I reached out to one of my friends and
• 7:59
  Speaker1: say, hey dude, I need help, you know? And so he said,
• 8:02
  Speaker1: all right. Let's do it. Get 6 people. And mind you, I'm on
• 8:06
  Speaker1: house arrest and I'm literally in the front yard getting my ass
• 8:11
  Speaker1: handed to me, really. And then I got up,
• 8:14
  Speaker1: and then to top it off, I got my ass handed to me when I
• 8:18
  Speaker1: got— when my dad got home too, because he saw my face. My face was
• 8:22
  Speaker1: just swollen and just all disrupted and stuff. And I was
• 8:27
  Speaker1: hiding in my mom— my grandma's, uh, Mustang 5.0.
• 8:30
  Speaker1: Terrified, terrified of my father. I was, I was more scared of my father coming
• 8:34
  Speaker1: home than being terrified being beat up by 5, 6 dudes, okay?
• 8:38
  Speaker1: It was very terrifying. And, um, so my dad got home and then, um,
• 8:42
  Speaker1: I got round 2, I guess I'll call it. Round 2 went, you know,
• 8:46
  Speaker1: so bad that my grandma had to jump on him and tell him,
• 8:50
  Speaker1: um, you need to get off him, he's young, don't be doing that. And he's
• 8:54
  Speaker1: just socking me in the back of the head, boom boom, like, what are you
• 8:56
  Speaker1: thinking? You're just you're just gonna be a lowlife, all yada
• 9:00
  Speaker1: yada, you know, etc. And so that was, that was
• 9:04
  Speaker1: rough for me. And so like, I think it was a month later, I was
• 9:07
  Speaker1: like, I'm done with this, I'm running away. Um,
• 9:10
  Speaker1: I can't, I can't stay here no more. I can't, I can't wait.
• 9:14
  Speaker1: Like, I was scared of Wednesdays because Wednesdays was my dad when he
• 9:18
  Speaker1: would go bowling, and then when he come home, he would come super drunk,
• 9:21
  Speaker1: and I'd be like terrified of Wednesdays, dude. I was, I was like, dude,
• 9:25
  Speaker1: I just need to stay out of trouble, he'll be fine. I'd stay on the
• 9:27
  Speaker1: computer.
• 9:27
  Speaker0: Nope.
• 9:28
  Speaker1: He just came on me. He was just an angry person. He just,
• 9:30
  Speaker1: he didn't like how his life was, and so he just took it out on
• 9:33
  Speaker1: me. And so yeah, I came to Everett,
• 9:37
  Speaker1: and then I started, you know,
• 9:41
  Speaker1: breaking into cabanas,
• 9:46
  Speaker1: hanging out the wrong crowd. I started, you know,
• 9:50
  Speaker1: hanging out with the wrong crowd still, and, and, uh,
• 9:53
  Speaker1: do things just to get the adrenaline of, of the rush,
• 9:56
  Speaker1: you know? Like, people are like, say, tell me, hey, you're not,
• 10:00
  Speaker1: you're not, you're not down to do anything. I'm like, oh yeah, I'm down
• 10:05
  Speaker1: to do anything, dude. I don't care. So when I was 12, or when I
• 10:08
  Speaker1: was like 15, I started breaking into cabanas, got my first charges.
• 10:12
  Speaker1: Um, task force broke down the doors and I was
• 10:16
  Speaker1: hanging out with 5 people. And so my life was like It was,
• 10:20
  Speaker1: it was a lot because I broke like 7 tanning beds, and tanning
• 10:24
  Speaker1: beds are really expensive. They really are. But anyways,
• 10:28
  Speaker1: long story short, fast forward it, okay? Um,
• 10:32
  Speaker1: when I, when I was, uh, having my child, um,
• 10:36
  Speaker1: I was trying to stay clean so, so often. I was—
• 10:39
  Speaker1: it was hard to. I was always sneaking out when
• 10:44
  Speaker1: I was in a relationship and like always trying to like cover
• 10:48
  Speaker1: my tracks and like cheating and, and doing all those things.
• 10:51
  Speaker1: And, um, I remember my, um, my son's mom,
• 10:55
  Speaker1: uh, she finally got tired of it and she left me.
• 10:59
  Speaker1: And when that happened, um, my life just took a toll. I was
• 11:03
  Speaker1: like, all right, I just give up on everything, you know. I did everything I
• 11:07
  Speaker1: could to keep this relationship and it's not going anywhere. So,
• 11:10
  Speaker1: and, um, So I ran to the streets. Um, she moved
• 11:15
  Speaker1: on with her life. She got married and stuff, and I just got
• 11:20
  Speaker1: consumed by the streets. Um, after that,
• 11:23
  Speaker1: long story short, is, uh, I've been on the streets for like the
• 11:28
  Speaker1: last 12 years,
• 11:31
  Speaker1: bouncing from trap house to trap house to RVs,
• 11:36
  Speaker1: RVs, to last to being homeless.
• 11:40
  Speaker1: Um, I was really starting to get to the point where I was not
• 11:44
  Speaker1: caring about life no more. I just wanted to, um,
• 11:47
  Speaker1: destroy everything I touched because I felt like that was just already
• 11:51
  Speaker1: happening. So, you know, I was like, all right, let's take it up a notch.
• 11:55
  Speaker1: If, if I destroy everything, I'm gonna, I'm gonna destroy everything with a bang.
• 11:58
  Speaker1: I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go really rough. So long story
• 12:03
  Speaker1: short is I, uh, started getting involved with with these guys,
• 12:06
  Speaker1: and, and, and they were giving me their drugs to sell.
• 12:11
  Speaker1: Um, and so I was getting comfortable, and then I started realizing
• 12:15
  Speaker1: I get— I can, I can do a lot if I get somebody comfortable.
• 12:18
  Speaker1: I can, um, earn their trust. Possibilities are endless,
• 12:22
  Speaker1: right? Dude, I was, I was getting so much shit
• 12:25
  Speaker1: going on. I was young, and, and all I wanted to do is be a
• 12:29
  Speaker1: badass drug dealer slash robber slash whatever
• 12:33
  Speaker1: Because I thought it was cool, to the point where, um,
• 12:37
  Speaker1: selling was, uh, was just— I was just selling to the homeless
• 12:42
  Speaker1: people, you know. I was robbing plugs too when I couldn't—
• 12:46
  Speaker1: when I couldn't pay back the debts I owed, I was robbing them.
• 12:49
  Speaker1: I didn't care, you know. Earn their trust, possibly endless, you know.
• 12:53
  Speaker0: That's—
• 12:53
  Speaker1: that was my model. Um, so streets
• 12:58
  Speaker1: really were like I was always trying to balance shit out.
• 13:01
  Speaker1: Like, if I rob the plug and I do so much dirt,
• 13:05
  Speaker1: I'm gonna even it out by giving a lot of shit away to the homeless
• 13:07
  Speaker1: people. I mean, I, I would give money away from
• 13:11
  Speaker1: homeless people. I would give them drugs.
• 13:12
  Speaker0: You had like the Robin Hood mentality?
• 13:14
  Speaker1: Mentality, yes. Okay.
• 13:18
  Speaker1: Yes, that was your way of balancing the life
• 13:23
  Speaker1: out. Yeah.
• 13:24
  Speaker0: How did that work for you?
• 13:26
  Speaker1: To the point where
• 13:27
  Speaker1: I was shot at many times. I was
• 13:31
  Speaker1: kidnapped twice.
• 13:34
  Speaker0: Kidnapped?
• 13:34
  Speaker1: Kidnapped.
• 13:36
  Speaker0: Like, what did
• 13:38
  Speaker0: that look like?
• 13:38
  Speaker1: That looked like somebody was trying to buy something.
• 13:42
  Speaker1: And then I got in the car and somebody I did dirty a while back
• 13:46
  Speaker1: ago caught up with me. And so long story short—
• 13:48
  Speaker0: So like, are you like,
• 13:49
  Speaker0: they shove you in the trunk and drive off or like, what does that look
• 13:52
  Speaker0: like?
• 13:52
  Speaker1: More like I hopped in the car and these guys pull out guns and
• 13:56
  Speaker1: say, give me everything you got. And I'm like, all right, cool. Like, here,
• 14:00
  Speaker1: take it. And so I tried to get out. They had the child lock on
• 14:04
  Speaker1: and they had the window locked, and so I couldn't get out. And so they
• 14:07
  Speaker1: took off. They're like, all right. And then, and, um, there was 2
• 14:11
  Speaker1: people in the front, or one person in front, one on the side. And they're
• 14:15
  Speaker1: like, you get away with this? You know, give me everything you got. I was
• 14:17
  Speaker1: like, all right, here you go. And so they drove off. And so I remember,
• 14:21
  Speaker1: like, I looked at— I was trying to get out so bad. I was like,
• 14:24
  Speaker1: what can I do? What can I do? And they finally let the window down.
• 14:26
  Speaker1: And so I rolled the window down and still child lock. I opened
• 14:30
  Speaker1: it, and mind you, they're going like 40 miles an hour.
• 14:34
  Speaker1: And I look over, I got the door open, I look over and I'm like,
• 14:37
  Speaker1: oh, I look at the lines in the street, I'm like, it's either this with
• 14:42
  Speaker1: the guns or jump out of the, you know, jump out of a car.
• 14:45
  Speaker1: I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna jump out of the car.
• 14:48
  Speaker1: I don't know what these guys are gonna do to me. They got guns.
• 14:50
  Speaker1: I'm not—
• 14:51
  Speaker0: What road are you driving down?
• 14:52
  Speaker1: Um, it's actually
• 14:53
  Speaker1: over there, um, in Marysville. It's, uh, Cedar and, uh,
• 14:58
  Speaker1: um, uh, 99, right by where Circle K used to be.
• 15:01
  Speaker1: So yeah.
• 15:02
  Speaker0: Yeah.
• 15:04
  Speaker1: And so I remember,
• 15:05
  Speaker1: um, jumping out of the car and, and it was going super— it
• 15:10
  Speaker1: was going fast. And all I did was a cartwheel, did like a front
• 15:13
  Speaker1: flip. And then all I remember is this truck. If I didn't land on my
• 15:16
  Speaker1: feet, like do a cartwheel, land on my feet and start running, I would have
• 15:19
  Speaker1: got hit by that car. I would have been a goner.
• 15:22
  Speaker1: And so I fucking— I did a front flip, booked it all the way
• 15:26
  Speaker1: to my mom's, locked the door, and, and that was that.
• 15:30
  Speaker0: How long ago was that?
• 15:32
  Speaker1: About 6
• 15:35
  Speaker1: years ago.
• 15:36
  Speaker0: 6 years ago?
• 15:37
  Speaker1: Yeah.
• 15:37
  Speaker0: That wasn't even that long ago.
• 15:38
  Speaker1: Nope.
• 15:39
  Speaker0: And that was in Marysville?
• 15:40
  Speaker1: Yep.
• 15:42
  Speaker0: Oh my goodness.
• 15:42
  Speaker0: Okay, you have— how many kids do you have?
• 15:45
  Speaker1: I have 4.
• 15:46
  Speaker0: How old are they?
• 15:48
  Speaker1: 5,
• 15:50
  Speaker1: 9, 5, 11, 16, and 20.
• 15:55
  Speaker1: And my 20-year-old is having a baby in August.
• 15:58
  Speaker0: How do you feel about that?
• 16:01
  Speaker1: I'm feeling old. I'm not going to lie.
• 16:05
  Speaker1: Every time I say grandpa, I just feel like I grow gray hair.
• 16:07
  Speaker0: But yeah.
• 16:10
  Speaker1: My kids are getting old now.
• 16:11
  Speaker0: So, so you live this crazy life
• 16:15
  Speaker0: selling drugs, doing drugs, living in trap houses,
• 16:19
  Speaker0: living in RVs, not really having a normal life.
• 16:22
  Speaker0: You've told me stories of bits and pieces of, of things that you did,
• 16:25
  Speaker0: and you got clean for a minute and then right went right back out.
• 16:31
  Speaker0: How many times you been to jail?
• 16:34
  Speaker1: I don't
• 16:36
  Speaker1: know, times I've been using? About 12,
• 16:40
  Speaker1: 15 times.
• 16:41
  Speaker0: Did you ever go to prison?
• 16:43
  Speaker1: No.
• 16:43
  Speaker0: That's good.
• 16:44
  Speaker1: No, I almost did, but drug
• 16:47
  Speaker1: court, like, they passed this law, so I kind of got off easy.
• 16:51
  Speaker1: It's kind of like God was trying to tell me something, but I wasn't listening.
• 16:55
  Speaker0: How long ago was drug court?
• 16:59
  Speaker1: 4 years ago, 5 years ago, right after all that happened.
• 17:04
  Speaker0: So you have—
• 17:08
  Speaker0: you will have 2 years clean in November.
• 17:13
  Speaker0: So what did Jeremy's life look like 2
• 17:16
  Speaker0: years ago?
• 17:18
  Speaker1: 2 years ago, I burnt
• 17:20
  Speaker1: all my bridges. I didn't have nowhere to go.
• 17:25
  Speaker1: I was getting fed up with life. I was seeing my relationship, past relationships
• 17:28
  Speaker1: moving on. You know, my kids moving
• 17:33
  Speaker1: on with their life, and I was just feeling
• 17:37
  Speaker1: so low. Like, I was got to the point where I was sleeping on the
• 17:40
  Speaker1: curb, and I think that's what it was that
• 17:44
  Speaker1: woke me up. It's like I'm to the point where, like, I don't
• 17:48
  Speaker1: have nowhere to go, and everything I'm doing in life is
• 17:52
  Speaker1: not right. I need to do something with my life because I'm
• 17:55
  Speaker1: tired of living. trap house or tired of waiting for some— like paying my dues
• 17:59
  Speaker1: to get in somebody's house, you know. So basically it was
• 18:03
  Speaker1: like it got cold outside and I was sleeping outside
• 18:07
  Speaker1: and like something just clicked in my head saying I'm better than this, I could
• 18:10
  Speaker1: do something better with my life, you know.
• 18:13
  Speaker1: So the opportunity came.
• 18:15
  Speaker0: Uh, what'd that opportunity look like?
• 18:17
  Speaker1: Opportunity, uh, looked like, um,
• 18:21
  Speaker1: it looked like me going to treatment. Me signing up for treatment.
• 18:25
  Speaker0: How'd you get— like, who helped you get into treatment? What did that process look
• 18:29
  Speaker0: like? Because we help a lot of people, so what did it look like for
• 18:31
  Speaker0: you?
• 18:32
  Speaker1: I, I did it myself,
• 18:35
  Speaker1: but I was, I was in a trap house, and like
• 18:38
  Speaker1: trap house, literally just saying, hey, I need to get clean, I need to get
• 18:41
  Speaker1: my kid, I need to do all this, I need to stop this, and I
• 18:45
  Speaker1: just couldn't stop. And so, uh,
• 18:49
  Speaker1: Yeah. My kid was about to get taken, and me being on the streets
• 18:54
  Speaker1: was my reality check. It's like, man, I can't let my
• 18:57
  Speaker1: son go to foster care. I can't, I can't let that happen. When it comes
• 19:01
  Speaker1: to my kids, I'll go to war for them, you know. I'll do anything I
• 19:04
  Speaker1: can to keep them safe, even, even at some point in my life where
• 19:07
  Speaker1: it's like keeping them safe from me was, was my reality at
• 19:11
  Speaker1: some point, you know. So My
• 19:14
  Speaker1: little one was about to get taken, and so I
• 19:18
  Speaker1: was just, I just, I was ready. I gave it a shot. I went
• 19:22
  Speaker1: to Spokane, Spark, and that was a life—
• 19:26
  Speaker1: that was a real change. I've been in treatment many a times, but Spark
• 19:30
  Speaker1: really stood out to me because the counselor was really cool. You know, he wasn't
• 19:35
  Speaker1: gonna take— like, I couldn't hide from him. I couldn't
• 19:38
  Speaker1: just say, I'm just here just trying to get clean. He, he He'd
• 19:42
  Speaker1: tell me to open up. He's like, hey dude, it's all right, man. You can
• 19:46
  Speaker1: talk to me. And if you don't want to talk to me, you can write
• 19:48
  Speaker1: in a book. I would like for you to do that. And so I tried
• 19:52
  Speaker1: it out. I was like, all right, let's try it out. What else can I
• 19:55
  Speaker1: lose? So I started writing a lot.
• 19:57
  Speaker0: You write a
• 19:59
  Speaker0: lot.
• 19:59
  Speaker1: Yeah, I do write a lot. I still write a lot,
• 20:02
  Speaker1: but I write different.
• 20:05
  Speaker0: There's a lot of thoughts that go into those composition
• 20:09
  Speaker0: books.
• 20:10
  Speaker1: Yeah. And reading, reading them over, it's like the
• 20:13
  Speaker1: mindset was so crazy when it first— when I first read it to
• 20:19
  Speaker1: like when I got treatment to now.
• 20:22
  Speaker1: It went from conspiracy, I know aliens exist,
• 20:26
  Speaker1: well, I'm going to treatment, I know they're out there,
• 20:30
  Speaker1: this is a stimulation, um,
• 20:33
  Speaker1: yada yada, you know, what am I gonna do now? And it's,
• 20:36
  Speaker1: it's like It went from, uh, from believing in aliens to like,
• 20:40
  Speaker1: all right, I'm here at Spark, my counselor's cool, he told
• 20:44
  Speaker1: me to write something out, and here I am writing this shit out.
• 20:47
  Speaker1: And so you can tell my, my handwriting went from chicken scratch to like a
• 20:51
  Speaker1: little petite, you know, and real little
• 20:55
  Speaker1: better handwriting. And so yeah,
• 20:59
  Speaker1: after a while I just kept writing. And one
• 21:02
  Speaker1: thing that still stood out to me is he's like, he brought these motivational
• 21:06
  Speaker1: speeches out their YouTube, and one really struck me really hard.
• 21:10
  Speaker1: And, and it was like questioning what's your value.
• 21:14
  Speaker1: And I was like, man, I sat there and I mean, I was like,
• 21:16
  Speaker1: man, I don't— I never really thought about my value in my life, you know?
• 21:21
  Speaker1: And that shit had me crying, like literally.
• 21:25
  Speaker1: I'd put my hood up and I, I was bawling my eyes out.
• 21:28
  Speaker1: I was sitting there and then saw— you could see, look down and, and there
• 21:31
  Speaker1: was just a puddle of water.
• 21:34
  Speaker1: And so I was like trying to hide. And so one of my peers
• 21:38
  Speaker1: and my counselor came up to me and took my hood off. He's like,
• 21:41
  Speaker1: dude, what's up? I'm like, I don't know, man.
• 21:45
  Speaker1: I never thought about my value in my life. Like, I never ever thought about
• 21:48
  Speaker1: it. And so like I started to value more my life more,
• 21:52
  Speaker1: you know, like, and I need to value
• 21:55
  Speaker1: more things in life, you know. So That was a
• 21:59
  Speaker1: real awakening for me. I still listen to motivational speeches to this
• 22:02
  Speaker1: day, till this day. Um, and so long story
• 22:06
  Speaker1: short, I went there, Sparks, 28 days.
• 22:09
  Speaker1: Um, 28 days went by pretty fast, and I got to the point where I
• 22:12
  Speaker1: was so comfortable at treatment I didn't even want to leave. I was like,
• 22:15
  Speaker1: man, I don't want to go back to Everett. I'm cool here, man. Even,
• 22:19
  Speaker1: uh, uh, counselors like, you know, you should try to become
• 22:23
  Speaker1: a one of the assistants.
• 22:26
  Speaker1: I'm like, uh, maybe, you know, I don't want to go back home, I'm scared.
• 22:31
  Speaker1: But when I told him that, I started getting this little nerve, a little scared
• 22:35
  Speaker1: in me. Like, I don't know Spokane, I can, I can
• 22:39
  Speaker1: get drugs anywhere around here. What's the difference between here and Everett? You know,
• 22:42
  Speaker1: I don't have family over here, I have family in Everett. You know, I was
• 22:46
  Speaker1: like, all right, no. So I told him, I was like, dude, I love you,
• 22:48
  Speaker1: Ryan, but I'm gonna go back home. He's like, man, that's,
• 22:52
  Speaker1: that's great, dude. He, he was a really awesome counselor.
• 22:56
  Speaker1: He's like, you know, I see a lot in you, man. The guys listen to
• 22:59
  Speaker1: you, you know what I'm saying? You, you, uh, team lead, you know,
• 23:03
  Speaker1: when everyone needs to follow directions, they come— we come to you
• 23:07
  Speaker1: and you set them all straight, you know? And I was like, well, yeah,
• 23:09
  Speaker1: I've been here for 2 weeks, you know, wash your ass.
• 23:14
  Speaker1: That was a big deal.
• 23:20
  Speaker1: Fuck.
• 23:20
  Speaker0: Wash your ass.
• 23:21
  Speaker1: Wash your ass, make your bed,
• 23:23
  Speaker1: do your chore. Simple.
• 23:25
  Speaker0: I mean, I feel like we say that a
• 23:27
  Speaker0: lot.
• 23:27
  Speaker1: We, we do.
• 23:28
  Speaker0: Yeah. Well, you say that a lot.
• 23:29
  Speaker1: I do.
• 23:30
  Speaker0: So you
• 23:31
  Speaker0: get out of treatment.
• 23:35
  Speaker1: Then I come home, Greyhound. I started reading my
• 23:38
  Speaker1: AA book. I was like, all right, I'm scared, terrified.
• 23:42
  Speaker1: It's like it was a 3-hour drive and come
• 23:45
  Speaker1: back. And I remember when I started seeing, uh, Everett soon population,
• 23:49
  Speaker1: I started getting these chills in my, my stomach, like, oh my God. I don't
• 23:54
  Speaker1: know if you guys ever got high before, but like when you— before you get
• 23:56
  Speaker1: high, it's like you get this feeling in your stomach where you just— that's what
• 23:59
  Speaker1: it felt like. And it was gnarly.
• 24:03
  Speaker1: So when I got off the bus, I called my sister. I said, hey,
• 24:07
  Speaker1: I'm here. She came and got me and I
• 24:11
  Speaker1: went straight to her house. I didn't
• 24:14
  Speaker1: talk to anybody. I didn't associate
• 24:19
  Speaker1: with anybody I used to. I was like, just, all right. I went to my
• 24:21
  Speaker1: sister's and that's when my journey started.
• 24:25
  Speaker1: My reality started when I
• 24:29
  Speaker1: got back from treatment. It was hard at first. You know,
• 24:33
  Speaker1: but in treatment where they have you waking up early and making your bed and
• 24:36
  Speaker1: all that, that stuck with me for the longest time. It's like, all right,
• 24:39
  Speaker1: I'm up 5 o'clock in the morning, I'm not getting high, I'm in
• 24:42
  Speaker1: here, you know, drinking coffee and like writing in my journal,
• 24:45
  Speaker1: listen to motivational speeches, you know, I can do this.
• 24:50
  Speaker1: And that's when I met you,
• 24:54
  Speaker1: and that was a very, very Honestly,
• 25:01
  Speaker1: awakening for me, you know. I remember meeting
• 25:04
  Speaker1: you at the cafe and then, and you were busy, or you were
• 25:08
  Speaker1: running late for your circle. And I'm like, oh, okay. She's like, I'll talk to
• 25:11
  Speaker1: you in a minute. And I'm like, okay, all right. And then you come out,
• 25:14
  Speaker1: you start talking to me, and then we get in your truck, and then we
• 25:18
  Speaker1: go to Advocates. And then, um,
• 25:22
  Speaker1: you said I can move in.
• 25:23
  Speaker0: Yeah.
• 25:24
  Speaker1: You know, and I was like,
• 25:26
  Speaker1: oh, really? Like, dude, I was like, I started like getting joyful
• 25:31
  Speaker1: tears. I was like, oh my God, this is it. Like, I got somewhere to
• 25:34
  Speaker1: live now. I can move out of my sister's house. Like, you know,
• 25:37
  Speaker1: um, and that's when I moved into Muckle Teal. And I remember
• 25:41
  Speaker1: asking you too, I was like, are you always this nice? You know, you did—
• 25:45
  Speaker0: What was my answer? Yeah, you know, I am till I'm
• 25:49
  Speaker0: not.
• 25:49
  Speaker1: Yeah, you are.
• 25:54
  Speaker0: And you've also experienced that.
• 25:56
  Speaker1: Yeah, I have.
• 25:58
  Speaker1: Not so much.
• 25:59
  Speaker0: Not me and you, but you know what I mean
• 26:02
  Speaker0: when I say that, right? Because I will give and I will advocate
• 26:07
  Speaker0: and I am there for the people who want it and
• 26:11
  Speaker0: who need it and who want to do it the right way. But when you
• 26:15
  Speaker0: decide that you're going back out, then I got
• 26:19
  Speaker0: to wash my hands and I don't like doing that. And that's hard.
• 26:23
  Speaker1: Yeah.
• 26:24
  Speaker0: That's hard for both of us.
• 26:27
  Speaker0: And I remember putting you, I think you were the 2nd
• 26:30
  Speaker0: or 3rd guy to move into Mukilteo. It was all within days. It was the
• 26:35
  Speaker0: very first house that I opened up over here. And we went to Holmen
• 26:39
  Speaker0: and we had push-up and I
• 26:43
  Speaker0: mean, there's still half that house is still there,
• 26:47
  Speaker0: but the growth. I mean,
• 26:51
  Speaker0: I made you the manager immediately because I could see it just like they
• 26:55
  Speaker0: could in treatment. I could see it. And I thought, this guy,
• 26:59
  Speaker0: and you were squirrely and fresh out and
• 27:03
  Speaker0: you were like, ah. And I remember Mason
• 27:08
  Speaker0: showing up.
• 27:09
  Speaker1: Yeah.
• 27:10
  Speaker0: and your sister
• 27:12
  Speaker0: and checking out the house. And they were like, whoa.
• 27:17
  Speaker0: And it was a good thing. I remember you had your scooter.
• 27:23
  Speaker1: Yeah.
• 27:25
  Speaker0: You had your scooter and
• 27:28
  Speaker0: Mokelteo Speedway was closed at the very end. And I
• 27:31
  Speaker0: remember you calling me and I swear it was like 9 o'clock
• 27:36
  Speaker0: at night. Might've been even later than that. And you were like, I'm going to
• 27:40
  Speaker0: be late for curfew because my scooter died, but the road is closed
• 27:44
  Speaker0: and I don't know what to do. And I think
• 27:47
  Speaker0: Kennedy was with her dad, and so I was able to come pick you up
• 27:51
  Speaker0: and bring you to the house because it would've taken hours.
• 27:55
  Speaker0: But you were the first one that
• 28:01
  Speaker0: I trusted. And you, I know, were like,
• 28:05
  Speaker0: why is this This chick, trust me. Why is she putting
• 28:08
  Speaker0: into me what— I don't get it.
• 28:12
  Speaker0: And I just kept pushing you and pushing you and I still push
• 28:16
  Speaker0: you. And I know it drives you nuts sometimes and you get pissed at
• 28:20
  Speaker0: me at softball.
• 28:21
  Speaker1: Yeah.
• 28:21
  Speaker0: And there's a lot of times where you question me,
• 28:25
  Speaker0: but at the same time, I want
• 28:28
  Speaker0: to push you because I know there's so much more. of Jeremy Garcia.
• 28:32
  Speaker0: There's so much more, you know. And so
• 28:35
  Speaker0: you, so you moved into Mocotillo, and then, and then what
• 28:39
  Speaker0: happens?
• 28:39
  Speaker1: That's when the fun started, you know.
• 28:43
  Speaker1: Guys thinking they can manipulate me. I'm the— I was the master manipulator,
• 28:47
  Speaker1: you know. When I, I remember this one time I gave this guy UA,
• 28:50
  Speaker1: and he's like— I hear a snap. It sounded like a condom.
• 28:53
  Speaker1: And I call him out. I was like, dude, tell me the truth, bro.
• 28:57
  Speaker1: No, no, I didn't do this, I didn't do that. You're a fucking— you don't
• 29:01
  Speaker1: know shit. You're a piece of shit. Fucking— it just went wild. And then I
• 29:04
  Speaker1: was looking at him like thinking, old me, sock this dude in
• 29:09
  Speaker1: the face and just fuck it, just, just get it over with, you know.
• 29:12
  Speaker1: New me, be patient, you know. It's all right, man.
• 29:16
  Speaker1: You know what, I'm gonna— I was like, you know what, I ain't gonna do
• 29:20
  Speaker1: this right now. I'm not gonna sock this guy, I'm not gonna fight this guy.
• 29:22
  Speaker1: You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna take a walk down this hill,
• 29:24
  Speaker1: go all the way to my counselor and talk. Just pull him aside, be like,
• 29:27
  Speaker1: hey dude, I need you right now, bro. I need to talk to you.
• 29:31
  Speaker1: And, and the moment when I left the house, this fucking guy, he's like,
• 29:34
  Speaker1: have a good day, after he just got in my face and tried to fight
• 29:37
  Speaker1: me for something I knew was right. And it was fun. That was the first
• 29:41
  Speaker1: moment I was like borderline like, I want to punch him. The old me was
• 29:44
  Speaker1: like, dude, just sock him in his face, you know. I don't care if he's
• 29:47
  Speaker1: been to prison. I don't care. Sock them really
• 29:50
  Speaker1: hard. And so long story short, I walked down the
• 29:54
  Speaker1: hill, and that was a long hill. I walked down, got on the bus,
• 29:57
  Speaker1: got on a Swift bus. Mind you, I'm fresh out of treatment, so I'm like
• 30:00
  Speaker1: on the Swift, and the Swift's like having people in there getting high and shit.
• 30:03
  Speaker1: I'm like just pacing like, oh my God, this is it. I don't know what
• 30:07
  Speaker1: to do. It was like the longest 3 hours I had to sit in my
• 30:09
  Speaker1: head and reflect on. So,
• 30:13
  Speaker1: and yeah, I got to my counselors. I was like, Come on, I need to
• 30:17
  Speaker1: talk to you right now, dude. And so that's when I started realizing
• 30:20
  Speaker1: I need to open up more because, uh, my way wasn't working.
• 30:24
  Speaker1: You know, my way would have been like, I would sock this dude away,
• 30:27
  Speaker1: I'll sock this dude in his face, and, and, and I don't care if I
• 30:30
  Speaker1: get kicked out. I just— I'm not gonna let nobody disrespect me like that.
• 30:34
  Speaker1: And come to find out, he— in the next, next, uh,
• 30:38
  Speaker1: house meeting, he says, I'm gonna be honest with you guys. I did fake
• 30:43
  Speaker1: my urine. And I look at him, I was like, you fucking piece of shit.
• 30:45
  Speaker1: Like, you motherfucker. Like, I fucking called it, and then you're going to
• 30:49
  Speaker1: test me and then all this. I'm like—
• 30:52
  Speaker0: But you learned from
• 30:53
  Speaker0: that. I learned from that experience is to
• 30:57
  Speaker0: respond, not react. You have patience.
• 31:02
  Speaker0: I don't have patience, but you have patience, and you deal
• 31:07
  Speaker0: with These houses.
• 31:10
  Speaker0: I'm trying to think because you always say— you said, let's go big. And I
• 31:13
  Speaker0: don't know at what point did I say that,
• 31:18
  Speaker0: but when I said that, I meant it. And you're like, let's go.
• 31:22
  Speaker0: And you always say that. And I know in the back of your mind you're
• 31:26
  Speaker0: like, she's fucking crazy. She's crazy. But look at what all the
• 31:30
  Speaker0: things that we've done and accomplished in a year and a half.
• 31:34
  Speaker0: How many more houses have we opened?
• 31:37
  Speaker0: I can't even count.
• 31:40
  Speaker1: It's already the ones you opened.
• 31:42
  Speaker0: I mean, I feel like I
• 31:44
  Speaker0: just had the 5 in Yakima and Mankato was number
• 31:48
  Speaker0: 6. Now we have 22, and we've
• 31:51
  Speaker0: just been going and going and going and going. And you are always like,
• 31:55
  Speaker0: yep, okay. I know there's times where you're like,
• 31:59
  Speaker0: she's crazy. I don't know what's happening.
• 32:02
  Speaker0: But at the same time, You lead
• 32:05
  Speaker0: and you show up and you do the things,
• 32:08
  Speaker0: and the guys have respect for you because, like you
• 32:12
  Speaker0: say, I go and I sit and I'm just going to chill with them
• 32:17
  Speaker0: and talk to them and get down on their level. And that's
• 32:21
  Speaker0: what we have to do is gain trust, because I think that's one of the
• 32:25
  Speaker0: hardest things when we get into recovery is learning not
• 32:28
  Speaker0: only to trust ourselves, But, but to be able to trust another
• 32:31
  Speaker0: human being.
• 32:33
  Speaker1: Yeah.
• 32:35
  Speaker0: And I
• 32:35
  Speaker0: think that it's probably baffling to you sometimes how
• 32:39
  Speaker0: much trust I have in you with everything, because you have the keys
• 32:42
  Speaker0: to the kingdom most days.
• 32:46
  Speaker1: Yeah. I remember, and this
• 32:50
  Speaker1: was, this was a serious moment when I think it was then when we were
• 32:52
  Speaker1: talking about this Go Big. I was like, I'll do whatever, Lynn. Whatever you want
• 32:56
  Speaker1: to do, we'll go big. I only have one,
• 32:59
  Speaker1: one thing I want is in return is if my kid come with
• 33:03
  Speaker1: me. And then that day, it was like, you were
• 33:06
  Speaker1: like, let's go. And that's when my,
• 33:10
  Speaker1: my eyes, like, I have showed you I have so
• 33:13
  Speaker1: much respect for you. Like, and I have, like, I grew this
• 33:17
  Speaker1: bond and this love for you. Like, I have never, like,
• 33:20
  Speaker1: felt any I've never been like this ever in my life. Like, you know,
• 33:24
  Speaker1: the bond that's just started with us. You know, you're like, go big. And I'm
• 33:28
  Speaker1: like, oh, go big. It's like, you know,
• 33:31
  Speaker1: and then my son being there with me and reminding me every day
• 33:35
  Speaker1: that I could do this. It reminded me that, hey,
• 33:40
  Speaker1: being patient, it's, you have to, being patient
• 33:44
  Speaker1: is hard, you know? Especially with being a new parent. I remember
• 33:48
  Speaker1: I was telling you the first year, I was like, kept saying, be patient,
• 33:50
  Speaker1: Jeremy, be patient. And I was saying that a lot, like, but patience,
• 33:55
  Speaker1: I'm starting to like— it was a big deal to me, you know?
• 33:59
  Speaker1: And I took that seriously. Like, from then on, like, I was there
• 34:03
  Speaker1: for you. Like, I was— I was— if anybody talked about you, I was there
• 34:06
  Speaker1: to say, hey, you know, this person doesn't know what they're talking about,
• 34:09
  Speaker1: you know? You mean people talk about me?
• 34:12
  Speaker0: I can't even imagine.
• 34:14
  Speaker1: Yeah, see, that's the thing is
• 34:18
  Speaker1: like, it's like I got respect for you to the point like
• 34:22
  Speaker1: if anybody bad talk you, I would defend you.
• 34:24
  Speaker0: I hope so.
• 34:25
  Speaker1: You know, I would say, hey, you know, you don't know what you're talking about.
• 34:29
  Speaker1: You know, just, it's, I don't know,
• 34:33
  Speaker1: I just, I have respect for you. Like, hey, this person is saying this and
• 34:35
  Speaker1: that, you know. So that was, that's a big deal to me
• 34:39
  Speaker1: because I had no respect for nobody,
• 34:42
  Speaker1: not even for myself. And so when I came
• 34:46
  Speaker1: to Kenny's place, my whole respect level, it's like it started growing
• 34:51
  Speaker1: with the guys, with you, you know,
• 34:54
  Speaker1: with, with the, the meetings, with life,
• 34:58
  Speaker1: you know. Mokotil had a beautiful viewing.
• 35:01
  Speaker1: Every morning I get to wake up with a million-dollar sight, dude. I was like,
• 35:04
  Speaker1: wow, this cannot be be true, you know?
• 35:08
  Speaker1: Like, I mean, if I, if I would have knew I can do this a
• 35:11
  Speaker1: long time ago, I would have did it a long time ago, you know?
• 35:15
  Speaker1: I, when I was using, I was like, there's no hope. Like, if I go
• 35:17
  Speaker1: to treatment, I'm still got to come out to the streets. I didn't know anything
• 35:20
  Speaker1: about clean sober houses. I didn't know nothing about Oxford. I know about getting clean
• 35:24
  Speaker1: and trying to stay clean, you know? And to the point where,
• 35:28
  Speaker1: like, I was like, all right, got in the middle of the boat, let's,
• 35:31
  Speaker1: let's go to meetings. I went to meetings every day. Um, got a sponsor,
• 35:35
  Speaker1: you know, being serious, all that. Everyone just kept suggesting it, and I'm like,
• 35:39
  Speaker1: all right, let's do it. Because like I said, my way wasn't working, so that
• 35:43
  Speaker1: way I tried something new, you know.
• 35:49
  Speaker1: So long story short, Kenny's Place really changed my life.
• 35:52
  Speaker0: Well, I'm glad, because that's what we're supposed
• 35:56
  Speaker0: to do. That was, that was, that was the mission. That was the vision.
• 36:00
  Speaker0: Was to change people's lives.
• 36:04
  Speaker0: However, I had no clue what that actually meant
• 36:08
  Speaker0: and what that actually looked like and what it looks like now and
• 36:11
  Speaker0: how much impact we have on so many people and
• 36:17
  Speaker0: 22 houses and 175 beds. And I know it's crazy and
• 36:20
  Speaker0: we get stressed out and we're like, oh my God, and dishes and this and
• 36:24
  Speaker0: that and somebody needs toilet paper and this sink's broken.
• 36:27
  Speaker0: And I mean, 2 days ago, your freaking toilet overflows
• 36:31
  Speaker0: on the floor. And, you know, and so there's a lot of shit,
• 36:34
  Speaker0: literally, that we have to deal with. But I
• 36:38
  Speaker0: would so much rather deal with and have these stories
• 36:42
  Speaker0: because we can sit here and we can laugh about it than the
• 36:46
  Speaker0: stories of sitting in a trap house or the stories of me being
• 36:50
  Speaker0: drunk and not remembering where
• 36:55
  Speaker0: I was or who I was with or, or whatever.
• 36:58
  Speaker0: And, you know, and who did I piss off? And, you know, now it's like,
• 37:02
  Speaker0: how much of an impact can we, can we make? And how many
• 37:05
  Speaker0: lives can we help? And, you know, like,
• 37:09
  Speaker0: I mean, it is an addiction in a way,
• 37:13
  Speaker0: but it's a good addiction and there's a purpose, you know.
• 37:16
  Speaker0: And I, I love watching you You know, come in
• 37:20
  Speaker0: here and, you know, you do your Fletcher because we got coaching. And so you,
• 37:23
  Speaker0: you coach with Fletcher and you got Mason and, you know,
• 37:27
  Speaker0: you're showing up. This is the coolest thing, is like you going
• 37:30
  Speaker0: to IEP meetings.
• 37:35
  Speaker0: What's an IEP meeting? You know,
• 37:38
  Speaker0: you gotta go to school and you gotta, you know, support your kid and,
• 37:43
  Speaker0: you know, like And Mason, Mason's a stinker, you know,
• 37:47
  Speaker0: just like every 5-year-old's a stinker, but he's a stinker, right? He's a boy,
• 37:51
  Speaker0: you know, and he gets in trouble. And I mean, it's, it's okay,
• 37:55
  Speaker0: right? Because, you know, he's learning and
• 37:58
  Speaker0: you're there to support him and you're doing it in the right ways.
• 38:01
  Speaker0: And, you know, I wanna be able to support you so that you can
• 38:05
  Speaker0: support him and your other kids. And now I get to watch you grow these
• 38:08
  Speaker0: other relationships with your kids and like, that's amazing. And everybody
• 38:11
  Speaker0: else around us that is thriving is is growing,
• 38:15
  Speaker0: and and you know I just I just love what we do and
• 38:20
  Speaker0: being a part of something that I never thought that if
• 38:25
  Speaker0: you had asked me three years ago what would I be doing it would not
• 38:28
  Speaker0: be sitting here next to a pink couch with you
• 38:32
  Speaker0: and doing a podcast but this
• 38:36
  Speaker0: life is. you never know what's going to happen and
• 38:40
  Speaker0: when you find your purpose, you know, and how many lives that
• 38:44
  Speaker0: we are impacting and continue to do so. And,
• 38:48
  Speaker0: you know, like, I think about— people always ask, well, how many houses
• 38:52
  Speaker0: do you need? How many addicts are there?
• 38:56
  Speaker0: Way more than 22 houses.
• 38:58
  Speaker1: Yeah.
• 38:59
  Speaker0: You know, and we will keep growing and keep impacting and And
• 39:05
  Speaker0: you're going to keep growing. And I mean,
• 39:09
  Speaker0: the other thing that I think is cool, and I hope that you don't mind
• 39:11
  Speaker0: me mentioning it, but you are fully
• 39:15
  Speaker0: self-supporting as of
• 39:19
  Speaker0: a couple days ago. And you
• 39:23
  Speaker0: are supporting yourself. And we're
• 39:28
  Speaker0: not There are things that we get in life, get a hand up
• 39:33
  Speaker0: to help with insurance or EBT or whatever, and that's
• 39:37
  Speaker0: no longer a thing for you. And I
• 39:41
  Speaker0: know that that's scary to not
• 39:45
  Speaker0: have those things, but at the same time, that's huge growth.
• 39:49
  Speaker1: Yeah, you pushed me to that. Seriously.
• 39:53
  Speaker1: And think about the time I was talking about value. Like, I'm finding value
• 39:57
  Speaker1: in my life and you, you give me value to my life, you know?
• 40:02
  Speaker1: Because I know how it is to be an addict. I know how it is
• 40:04
  Speaker1: to manipulate people, and I know how it is to like,
• 40:06
  Speaker1: you know, fake the funk, you know? And so like,
• 40:10
  Speaker1: your Candy's Place houses are like my family, you know?
• 40:14
  Speaker1: I'll come in there, like you said, I'll come in there and chill with them.
• 40:16
  Speaker1: I'll come hang out with them and I'll talk to them. Even the new guys,
• 40:19
  Speaker1: I'll pretend I'm the new guy, you know, just to get the scoop. You know,
• 40:21
  Speaker1: but I— it always reminds me of me coming into the houses and, and being
• 40:25
  Speaker1: around people that, you know, I, I don't need to like think
• 40:29
  Speaker1: I'm high horse to them because, you know, sometimes people think
• 40:33
  Speaker1: I am, but I'm right there with them, you know. So I'll sit at the
• 40:36
  Speaker1: couch with them and put my little badge away that you gave me, you know,
• 40:39
  Speaker1: when I come in the houses and just talk to guys, you know.
• 40:42
  Speaker1: And I love that, you know. I love it. It's just,
• 40:45
  Speaker1: you know, anytime you need anything,
• 40:47
  Speaker1: I'll I'll do anything you need, you know.
• 40:51
  Speaker1: Yeah, you, you, you make me upset sometimes, but not to the point ever till
• 40:55
  Speaker1: I will ever, ever do
• 40:58
  Speaker1: anything to disrupt Candy's Place or anything.
• 41:03
  Speaker1: Because Candy's Place has saved my, my life, and it
• 41:08
  Speaker1: has gave me my kids, and it has gave me a structure in life that
• 41:11
  Speaker1: I am very grateful for today. So showing up every day to
• 41:15
  Speaker1: to the office and showing up to Yakima meetings, that means a lot to me.
• 41:19
  Speaker1: You know, you say, you say anything, I got you.
• 41:23
  Speaker1: You know, I— and then being of service to, uh,
• 41:26
  Speaker1: um, of having meetings and, and doing something different than like hurting
• 41:31
  Speaker1: people or, uh, disrupting, you know,
• 41:35
  Speaker1: people's lives and shit, it takes a toll on me. You know,
• 41:37
  Speaker1: like I've been, I've been running meetings for like almost
• 41:42
  Speaker1: a year and a half now, you know. Some of my meetings grew very
• 41:46
  Speaker1: big, you know.
• 41:48
  Speaker0: You're kind of an icon in Everett for CA.
• 41:50
  Speaker0: I mean, Hugs Not Thugs is kind of a thing.
• 41:54
  Speaker1: It is, to the point where like the home group is like, I can work
• 41:59
  Speaker1: on my other meetings because the other meetings are like new member, newcomer members.
• 42:02
  Speaker1: It's a newcomer meeting and newcomers come in and they see us and, you know,
• 42:07
  Speaker1: you know, sometimes only like a few people show up and sometimes like 30 people
• 42:10
  Speaker1: show up. But then I don't get in my ego like, oh, I want
• 42:15
  Speaker1: population. I want everyone to show up. If 1 or 2 people show up,
• 42:18
  Speaker1: I'm good with that. If 20 people show up,
• 42:21
  Speaker1: I'm cool with that too. As long as you don't hold us hostage, we're good.
• 42:25
  Speaker1: But that's the new way of life that I live now, being of
• 42:30
  Speaker1: service. And it comes a long way.
• 42:33
  Speaker0: What's the biggest challenge you have in your life right now?
• 42:38
  Speaker1: Biggest challenge in my life right now?
• 42:45
  Speaker1: Um, I honestly, uh,
• 42:49
  Speaker1: just honestly, I'm gonna be honest with you, finding that right
• 42:53
  Speaker1: person, you know, trying to not like
• 42:57
  Speaker1: become in my old ways and like, you know, just I
• 43:02
  Speaker1: don't know, you know, I want to be happy to the extent where like I
• 43:05
  Speaker1: am happy right now, but have someone next to me that can share
• 43:09
  Speaker1: the happiness with me other than my child, my kids, you know.
• 43:13
  Speaker1: And, and, and I have a lot to learn, you know.
• 43:17
  Speaker1: I, I— my motto is like, if it doesn't work
• 43:21
  Speaker1: out, I gotta let it go, you know. And it's hard, it's hard to let
• 43:24
  Speaker1: somebody you care about go, you know. At the same time Pain
• 43:29
  Speaker1: gives strength, as I see it, you know. As bad as it hurts letting people
• 43:33
  Speaker1: go, man, it'll— it's for the best.
• 43:37
  Speaker1: And if you ask me that, and using when I was addicted a long time
• 43:40
  Speaker1: ago, I'm like, nope, she's mine, I'm keeping her. Nope, no one's
• 43:44
  Speaker1: gonna have her but me. And that's my model is different now,
• 43:48
  Speaker1: you know. I, I remember this favorite motivational
• 43:53
  Speaker1: speech is And it's, it's about letting go. Like,
• 43:56
  Speaker1: it's, uh, people are like coming like a tree, okay? Like leaves,
• 44:00
  Speaker1: they come and go, you know? Branches, they wave, they, you know.
• 44:04
  Speaker1: But the roots, you find you some roots, you know,
• 44:08
  Speaker1: that's— those are some solid people. And I feel like
• 44:13
  Speaker1: you, Caleb, and Kenny's Place are my roots, you know?
• 44:17
  Speaker1: I feel like, you know, My sister's a root, my son's a root, you know,
• 44:21
  Speaker1: and everybody that comes in my life is sometimes, if they don't wanna be a
• 44:25
  Speaker1: root, they're just a leaf. They come and go, you know. There's nothing I can
• 44:29
  Speaker1: do about it, but that's how I see it now, you know.
• 44:32
  Speaker1: But other than that, you know, that's the hardest part.
• 44:37
  Speaker1: And another thing too, living life on life's terms. That's a
• 44:41
  Speaker1: big one too. That's another shebang.
• 44:45
  Speaker0: But you do, and you figure it out,
• 44:48
  Speaker0: and you don't have to run off and use
• 44:52
  Speaker0: because you can't figure something out or something gets hard or, or whatever.
• 44:56
  Speaker0: It's just figuring out a
• 45:00
  Speaker0: solution, because there is a solution to every problem.
• 45:04
  Speaker0: And if we focus on the solution, life seems to get so
• 45:08
  Speaker0: much easier.
• 45:09
  Speaker1: Yeah. So like,
• 45:11
  Speaker1: um, see, this is how I see life now.
• 45:15
  Speaker1: Challenges. And it's a big deal to me because sometimes life
• 45:19
  Speaker1: can be challenging, but it's a challenge.
• 45:23
  Speaker1: In addiction, I see it as excuses. So like,
• 45:27
  Speaker1: for example, like, oh, everything's not going my way,
• 45:31
  Speaker1: man. I just don't know what I'm gonna do. Like, spilled coffee, this and that.
• 45:34
  Speaker1: We can get through it. This is a challenge. I Challenge yourself. Challenge— I challenge
• 45:38
  Speaker1: myself to make it through another 24. Okay, in active
• 45:43
  Speaker1: addiction, I would say everything— spilt
• 45:47
  Speaker1: coffee, that's the excuse to go run and go get high, you know.
• 45:51
  Speaker1: Oh, this relationship didn't work? Oh, that's an excuse to run and go get high.
• 45:54
  Speaker1: Oh, it's raining outside? That's, you know, every— anything, you know,
• 45:57
  Speaker1: I'll run and go get high. And now
• 46:01
  Speaker1: that I have structure in and and purpose in life and like all
• 46:05
  Speaker1: the above. Like, I'm to the point in my life where
• 46:09
  Speaker1: I'm accepting the challenges, you know?
• 46:13
  Speaker1: I'm accepting challenges of my kid driving me nuts, you know? And it's— that's—
• 46:17
  Speaker0: You accept all the challenges that I give you.
• 46:20
  Speaker1: Yeah.
• 46:20
  Speaker0: That's for sure. You know, because we are figuring it
• 46:24
  Speaker0: out together. I have watched you get your son back.
• 46:29
  Speaker0: I have watched you get your driver's license and insurance.
• 46:33
  Speaker0: I remember you said, why do I need insurance? Because that's how we drive legally.
• 46:37
  Speaker0: Those are important things. I've watched
• 46:41
  Speaker0: you grow these houses and gain the respect
• 46:45
  Speaker0: of so many people. I've watched you start
• 46:50
  Speaker0: so many meetings to where I almost thought you were addicted to starting meetings because
• 46:54
  Speaker0: I was like, listen, You can only have so many meetings.
• 46:58
  Speaker0: You are always writing, you're always trying to
• 47:02
  Speaker0: grow, you're always showing up. Now you've
• 47:06
  Speaker0: got relationships that are blossoming with your other kids.
• 47:11
  Speaker0: You're the dad that shows up at the parent conference
• 47:15
  Speaker0: now, right? Where before you didn't even know what a parent
• 47:19
  Speaker0: conference was. You know, you're buying a car,
• 47:23
  Speaker0: you're gainfully employed, you've got
• 47:26
  Speaker0: so much going for you now.
• 47:30
  Speaker0: And I'm so proud to be able to watch that journey and to
• 47:35
  Speaker0: walk alongside you because without you,
• 47:38
  Speaker0: we wouldn't be sitting here. And that is 100%
• 47:42
  Speaker0: the truth.
• 47:44
  Speaker1: Thank you.
• 47:46
  Speaker0: Yeah.
• 47:46
  Speaker1: Without Kennedy's Place, I wouldn't be sitting here either.
• 47:50
  Speaker1: See? Vice versa.
• 47:56
  Speaker0: Life is good. Life can get hard.
• 48:00
  Speaker0: Life can get lifey. But life is good. And if we learn
• 48:03
  Speaker0: how to work through the hard and
• 48:07
  Speaker0: do it sober,
• 48:11
  Speaker0: so many good things happen.
• 48:15
  Speaker1: Yep. Go big.
• 48:16
  Speaker0: We are going big. We are going big.
• 48:19
  Speaker0: We are going so big. And yeah, I look forward
• 48:24
  Speaker0: to, you know, what's Kennedy's Place going to look like in
• 48:27
  Speaker0: 5 years?
• 48:29
  Speaker1: Taking over Everett,
• 48:31
  Speaker1: Snohomish, and Yakima.
• 48:34
  Speaker0: How about the state?
• 48:36
  Speaker1: Okay. You got to start hiring more people then.
• 48:40
  Speaker1: It's a lot of driving.
• 48:45
  Speaker0: Well,
• 48:49
  Speaker0: one last question. What's the thing you're most proud of that
• 48:54
  Speaker0: you've accomplished in the last 19,
• 48:58
  Speaker0: 20 months?
• 49:01
  Speaker1: A lot.
• 49:03
  Speaker0: Pick one thing.
• 49:06
  Speaker1: Fighting for my son. Reaching out.
• 49:10
  Speaker1: And, um, going through all the loops to get them and
• 49:14
  Speaker1: just reaching out, you know. Like, I was always scared of,
• 49:18
  Speaker1: uh, CPS or DCYF. I always think, oh, they're just the
• 49:21
  Speaker1: devil. They're just— they just— they get paid to take kids.
• 49:25
  Speaker1: They're so evil, you know. They take people— they take kids from people that don't
• 49:29
  Speaker1: even deserve to get their kids taken, you know. I always thought the worst of
• 49:32
  Speaker1: them. And, and me reaching out and then
• 49:35
  Speaker1: to the point where I like was about to graduate and I'm like, you don't
• 49:39
  Speaker1: want to meet with me no more? And that was a lot because I,
• 49:43
  Speaker1: I, I basically just like
• 49:47
  Speaker1: accomplished everything, you know? And that's,
• 49:51
  Speaker1: that's how I live life now. Like, if you stay clean and,
• 49:55
  Speaker1: you know, you can accomplish a lot of things, you know? No more dead-end roads
• 49:58
  Speaker1: for me, you know? Just reach out. Getting comfortable being
• 50:02
  Speaker1: uncomfortable. Hmm.
• 50:04
  Speaker0: Oh, I love that.
• 50:05
  Speaker1: Yeah.
• 50:06
  Speaker1: So, so the many lists is I am— I'm very
• 50:10
  Speaker1: grateful for everything in my life now. I got
• 50:14
  Speaker1: through probation, IOP, you know,
• 50:16
  Speaker1: DCYF. I even got my parenting plan.
• 50:20
  Speaker1: I got, you know, I did all this, you know,
• 50:25
  Speaker1: and I couldn't do it, have done it without Kennedy's Place or staying clean.
• 50:29
  Speaker0: So you made a choice. It all started with
• 50:34
  Speaker0: you.
• 50:36
  Speaker1: Yes.
• 50:36
  Speaker0: I just provided an opportunity
• 50:38
  Speaker0: and you took it.
• 50:39
  Speaker1: I did.
• 50:40
  Speaker0: Not everybody takes that opportunity.
• 50:42
  Speaker1: No, they don't.
• 50:45
  Speaker0: Yep.
• 50:46
  Speaker0: Good job.
• 50:47
  Speaker1: Thank you.
• 50:47
  Speaker0: Thank you for being here.
• 50:50
  Speaker1: You're very welcome.
• 50:54
  Speaker0: There we
• 50:54
  Speaker0: go.
• 50:55
  Speaker1: Jeremy Garcia.
• 50:58
  Speaker0: If this podcast resonated with you and you want to become
• 51:02
  Speaker0: part of this movement, click subscribe and write a brief review
• 51:06
  Speaker0: and give us a 5-star rating. Welcome to Unfiltered.