Latest / overslept w/ chris laker / sleep in - sep 09 2026
Transcript
- Chris Laker: I gotta start getting up earlier. I just love sleeping in. It's like my favorite thing to do. Ever since I was a kid, I dreamed of sleeping in first grade. That was my dream. Getting up so early. I don't know what time it was, but it's dark out. It feels like the earliest anybody's ever had to wake up. Why can't we do this later? I'm so tired. I went to bed at like eight o'clock. This is too early. But one day, one day I will sleep in. but I've been sleeping in for a long time. I'll I'm gonna get up earlier tomorrow. I'm not gonna get into what time, I'm not gonna tell you. But and it probably won't happen. That's the other thing. yeah, I'll get up tomorrow. I'll get up early tomorrow. That sounds great. But then when it's tomorrow, I'm like the future always sounds like the greatest time to make improvements. I'll meditate, I will apply myself But really just get through the day, I'm not a very successful person and that does not come from me working really hard and then failing. A lot of it is me not working that hard and getting what I deserve, which is much better. Some people work really hard and fail, I think. I don't know. A lot of times at work, I would act like I was working really hard when I wasn't. And I would recognize that in other people. I would see other people doing my gimmick of act like I'm working really hard, but not really doing anything. And it is actually harder than doing the work, but it is more rewarding. Not working is more work than work. But It's not work. So that is that is better I want to work as little as possible. This right now, me talking into the camera is not work. yeah, obviously. You're seeing it. You're like, yeah, that's not work. We know. We know what work is. This isn't that. If this was work, then everybody would be working. There would be zero unemployment if this was work because you could just do this, talk to your phone. I don't know what I'm saying. I am babbling. I didn't sleep great. I think I'm just gonna get into the news. I had to change where my kids sleep. Man share's terrifying experience says Amarillo officer tracked him 78 times. The flock cameras have barely existed. they just got installed and There is countless stories of cops using them to harass people, spy on exes, all this shit. England, they got cameras everywhere. Is it is abused as much there? wouldn't that show up in the news if that was happening? they must be. all the stories I'm seeing about this, I I wanna see some more stories about the British people. The the the Brit cops spying on people. They're up to something too. US Marshals find seventy nine missing children in Ohio during Operation Meridian. So there wasn't eighty kidnapped kids in Ohio. most of the kids they find in these things are with a parent. It's a custody thing. And then they like the headline. It makes it sound like, we found it sounds worse, actually. It's like eighty kids were kidnapped in Ohio, that would be terrifying. Malibu residents evacuate after expanding sinkhole opens at Nicolas Cage's house. Man, you think you'd live in the dream in Malibu. A lot of it burned down. Now you're living next to Nicholas Cage, you're like, I'm top of the world. Sinkhole. And Nicholas Cage got well, he had money problems. I don't know if he still does. He he makes like thirty movies a year. I worked on a Nicolas Cage movie years ago. I was a production assistant. He gave everybody on the crew leather jackets. And I thought this is why the dude's got money problems. But he does know how to be a rich guy. I kind of want to go see this sinkhole. There's probably tours. I there's bus tours going out to Nicolas Cage's sinkhole. People are gonna want to see that. Trump gave Natalie Harp and two other aides forty-five thousand dollars each in cash gifts for holidays, according to financial disclosure statements. And he's cheap. He doesn't pay people that he owes money to, but that Natalie Harp. She makes him feel young. That's why he dyes his hair and shit. Forty five grand, that's kind of an odd number. Why wouldn't you do fifty? I'll put the fifty at that. Fifty, that sounds forty-five, it just it's a weird number. Sounds like a calculation. And you're trying to make this young woman feel special. I don't think he's having some sort of like sexual thing with her because I doubt his dick works. In my opinion, allegedly, I guess if I got sued over that, we could go to court. if I was trying to assert that as an allegation, which I am not, We go to court and then there would be discovery I don't want to be involved in any of that. Allegedly, I think his dick doesn't work, but he's giving out money if you make him feel pretty. Oil prices rise above a hundred dollars a barrel for the first time since July as Iran war escalates. I better go buy a barrel of oil before the price goes up anymore. A hundred dollars doesn't sound like that much for a whole barrel. How long's that last year? You know, I I mean just for heating. Ballots discounted for late postmarked surged in Washington and Oregon after postal service changes. Yeah, don't mail your ballot. If there's not a drop box for your ballot somewhere like where you live, then don't mail it 'cause they're fucking with the ballots. Something's been up with the postal service for a long time. the mail people here, when they're delivering the mail, they're wearing regular clothes. They don't have uniforms anymore. they're just going up to people's houses in street clothes with mailbags. if I was a a mailman, I'd want to wear my street clothes. At least put on the hat, so I know. I I need some official wear a badge or something. Man pleads guilty to orchestrating a two hundred and forty million dollar Bitcoin theft from DC resident. So he was able to steal the two hundred and forty million dollars in Bitcoin and then he got caught. But isn't that the whole point of Bitcoin? You can't trace it and if you steal it, it's yours. He should appeal that decision. It's not money. I think he didn't even do anything illegal. TSA brings back gate access for some people without plane tickets twenty five years after nine eleven. Okay. I don't I don't need anybody going to the gate with me. You know what would be nice? I could bring a bottle of water through security. Maybe bring that back after that started about twenty five years ago. Not long after nine eleven, when they were like, we heard some chatter that there might be water bombs coming through. Nothing ever happened and still no liquid. I know they make a lot of money that way. Throw out your water. You gotta go to the Hudson News, buy a twenty dollar smart water. Colombia's new president loosens gun control rules. Welcome Colombia to a free society where you can have a gun. More people will be shot. Absolutely. Kids will find the guns and thing accidents will happen. Freedom comes at a cost. That's why they call it freedom. It should be free. When is that freedom's not free? It is kind of free. It's supposed to be. It's not supposed to cost. That's why it's called freedom. But gun freedom, it comes at a cost to somebody. Probably not you. It's like what happens to other people, the the gunshots. I you're not gonna get shot. You're gonna be great. Go get a gun. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy your new freedom. US strikes Iranian oil tankers as Tehran tarkids American base in Jordan. So this is still a war. I thought they didn't have a military. They were supposed to have a decimated I kept hearing the word decimated out of the the guy's mouth. They kept saying how they're there we don't need to negotiate, things are going so well. We destroyed, decimated the military. There's everything is great. But yeah. No, it's still going on. That's still a war. yeah, the oil the oil prices are up too. FDA announces recall on extra virgin olive oil. You don't need any olive oil anyway, because you can't really cook any the meat's all rec recalled. The the lettuce is fucked up. And what are you gonna put olive oil on? You're not gonna use it to cook, you're not gonna put it on your salad. So you don't even need that olive oil. Leave it alone. It extra virgin too. That's that's the expensive stuff. get yourself into some nice Wesson oil. UN nuclear watchdog board reports I ran to the UN Security Council for the first time in twenty years. Ugh I can't keep up. I won't keep up. I could keep up, but then there's still a war and bullshit and then still somebody in the YouTube comments being like, actually this is w whatever shut up. You probably a bot. That's why I don't respond. Probably a bot. and great. It's engagement. You're speaking your mind. If you're a person, that's great. If you're you're a person who's misinformed and you're going around to random YouTube shorts and voicing your opinion, that is fantastic. Good for you. And I don't know, I can't ma I I can make assumptions about your life. I'm probably wrong. And I won't. You are welcome in the comments section of the YouTube shorts. You can find those at my YouTube Chris Laker Comedy YouTube. And you are you mad? Go there. There's there's barely any comments. I'm acting like it's a big deal. There's like no comments. A couple. there are people at bots makes no difference to me. All are welcome, people and bots.