Latest / The Imperfect Impulse w/Bree O'Connor / S 3 Ep 11: Triggered by Feedback

Transcript

S 3 Ep 11: Triggered by Feedback · The Imperfect Impulse w/Bree O'Connor

• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Imperfect Impulse with Bree O'Connor.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, I'm your host, Bree O'Connor.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: How are you doing?
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Today, I want to talk about something I don't want to talk about.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: I want to talk about resistance.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yay!
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: Not really.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: I've been talking a lot lately about feedback,
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: about providing feedback,
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: about getting feedback,
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: and also the things that we have to do to make our messages clear and receivable
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: by our audience.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's interesting because our art,
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: whatever your medium is,
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: most of us are really sensitive about the work,
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: especially when we are So busy trying to refine and hone and a lot
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: of it's personal even when it's not about us.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's about our skill set.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's about our mastery.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: There's so many things that our art touches on that is extraordinarily personal even
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: when we're not writing stories that are directly about ourselves
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: or listen it's It's hard not to see the artist inside the art, you know.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: We have certain inclinations,
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: things we lean toward,
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: shapes we prefer,
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: colors we prefer,
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: like there's so much about what motivates us that is visible inside
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: the art we create, that it's easy to become sensitive.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: And we should be.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: And there's a protective impulse there that is not out of line.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: However,
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: in order to make our work better,
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: it's really important to receive feedback and to create a community
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: that can Provide constructive criticism in a way that you'll be able to hear it.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: But sometimes, no matter how constructive or well-meaning, we can just feel it.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: The walls come up and there is a resistance to receiving that information.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes that resistance is warranted.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes We receive information from someone that we know,
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: oh my god,
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: you are responding from your issue and you're not really responding to the work
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: that I put up.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: You're responding to your own triggers and that is not at all relevant
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: to what I have put on the table.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the thing is how do we know the difference?
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: How do we know what kind of criticism we can accept with curiosity and run
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: through our systems and try and figure out how it applies to the work at hand
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: and stuff that's just plain crazy?
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes you really need to hear something.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: I don't care what it is,
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: whether it is a student film or a Broadway play,
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: I frequently have the thought like, why didn't somebody tell this artist no?
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: What made them think that they can or should get away with what I just saw?
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: Why did someone let that slip through the process into the end product?
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: And even then is,
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'll readily admit,
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: my perception of all work is not always spot on because I am fallible and human
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: and all of those things.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: But there are definitely things that I'm like,
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: wow, this piece would have really benefited from the artist hearing the word no.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: Nuh-uh.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: Or...
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you shouldn't put that in there.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: But this brings us all the way back to how do we accept feedback
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: and know what is worthy of our time and consideration?
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: And how do we know what is just that particular artist trying to tell us the work
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: that they would make?
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's hard to know the difference When you are in the midst of a feedback session.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: I've definitely been in feedback sessions where a group
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: of people are actually hyper invested in the artist succeeding.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: They really are interested in the work, but the work has problems.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's early stage and it really needs outside eyes.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: And the artist feels like they're in a pylon.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody's got a ton of things to say.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: The subject matter may be triggering and has personal implications for that artist.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: And ultimately, we want our work to spark conversation.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: But sometimes in a feedback session, it can stir up a lot of stuff for people.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: You know,
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: they may or may not have filters and you may feel like you are drowning in
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: the weight of that kind of feedback.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, how do you conduct yourself in that situation?
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: And number two, how do you decide what to keep and what to set to the side?
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: You're going to get so much conflicting advice,
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: especially as you're opening your work up to more and more people.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: You know, some people do view art as a competitive sport.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: They'll have all kinds of advice for, well, what I would do with that piece is X, Y, and Z.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: But that may not be where you're going.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's just where you were going tripped that person off in that direction.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: So first, let's talk about how we receive, especially when you have longtime collaborators.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: And it's more than just a feedback session.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: It is you're really sitting down to listen to what this person or small group
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: of people have to say.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: And if they start, well, pushing your buttons, it can easily become argumentative.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: I have been argumentative more than once.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: I have been known to fight for some things.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: So my advice,
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: take it with a grain of salt because I've absolutely violated every single one
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: of these things that I'm about to recommend to you.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: But one of the things that I would recommend is that learning how to sit back
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: and receive and figure out how to respond sparingly,
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: take the feedback and sit with it.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: You want to let it percolate.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: If you are busy pushing back on it and deciding that it's pressing your buttons
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: and therefore you don't need to hear it,
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: you might be missing out on some gems that while those ideas may not be expressed
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: with the gentility that you feel you deserve,
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: They may still have value for your work.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: We have to do the hardest thing possible to simply receive it,
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: be grateful for it,
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: and then hopefully move on to get other pieces of information before you jump on it
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: and take it to the most personal level possible.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: Listen, I have not been successful at this.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: Because I feel like, oh,
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: if you got this wrong, because remember back in Scene 1 when X, Y, and Z happened?
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: I totally dropped nuggets of information that I'm connecting here in Act 1, Scene 4.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: So you may just not have noticed that.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: That's a defense I use all the time.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes it's valid and sometimes...
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm missing the point.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: If your audience didn't recall the information dropped in Scene 1,
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: well maybe you need a reminder somewhere in Scene 2 or 3.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: And that's valid.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: Even though you might be taking it personally as
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: if you didn't follow craft appropriately and you're feeling maybe a little accused.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: We all have feelings.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: But if you train yourself to have the discipline to take it in and consider it later
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: when you don't feel under the microscope, that that might be more useful to you.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes you'll be sitting there getting all kinds of advice about Structures
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: or methodologies that the other artist is a big believer in and they want you to see
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: the work their way.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: Boy, they would sure write that scene differently.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: To me,
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: an act structure is intuitive and I don't need to sit and think about rising action
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: and I don't need to think about it in those terms.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: Unless I'm doing something very, very technical.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: But some people need that structure in order to keep pace with themselves on what they're doing.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing wrong with that.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: But when you get into a situation where you have conflicting methodologies
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: or different ways of looking at the work,
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: that's something you're going to also have to filter out.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: But you're best filtering that out.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: Hear what they have to say.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: And if you can't hear it in the moment, write it down.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: Give it some thought.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: You know, people will recommend jokes or lines or, you know, whatever.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: And those you also have to take with a grain of salt, especially if you didn't ask for them.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes people ask for them,
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: in which case I think that's free reign for brainstorming and collaboration.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: And that's different than feedback.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: That is a bunch of minds chewing on the same problem together and trying
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: to find solutions is way different than relaying your experience as the receiver to
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: the artist.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: So you've committed to the best of your ability to sit and take in all
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: the information that is being given to you by your various listeners.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: And then you're going to have to step away and ask yourself a few questions about
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: the feedback you received.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, is this person my intended audience for the piece?
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: Are they coming to the table with the right kind of experience?
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, sometimes we have a really broad audience that's like, hey,
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: anybody can come to this whodunit and figure out how to follow this story, right?
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you're talking to a generational audience where you're like,
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: yeah, anybody can see this.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: But my main people that I'm talking to are boomers.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's got all the stuff that boomers relate to, that boomers like.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: Or it could be,
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: hey, I would like this piece to talk specifically to survivors of sexual assault.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are not assaulted, you can watch it, you can consume it, but it may not...
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: Have the same meaning for you.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: You can still get something out of it, but you may walk away with more questions.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas another survivor could come to it and feel seen and validated
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: and consider their own healing.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: So we have to be conscious of the person giving the feedback.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: How are they coming to the table?
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: And how does that Color what they said to you.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: If someone's coming to the table without,
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: the basic background information and that's the person that you want to talk to
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: and they're not quite understanding where you're going,
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: let's use a simple, simple example.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: Let's say you are writing a story that is about The Impact of Systemic Racism.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: And you want to reach out to people who don't know much about this topic.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: Then if someone comes in and they have a lot of knowledge about systemic racism,
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: they might feel that any exposition or base information you give,
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: they might consider that to be dull because they're already ahead of that curve,
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: right?
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: And you don't necessarily want to turn those people off from consuming your product,
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: but they're not your main audience.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: So you may need to bake into the pie a lot of expository information so
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: that your intended audience can get what they need.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: There's also a question of delivery there.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're talking to a group of people who don't really know Anything
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: about systemic racism and they're coming to your piece and they tell you,
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: boy, I was really bored by that first piece.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, that's the audience you do not want to lose.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: What was it about that delivery system that didn't work for them?
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: Because if they felt talked at or down to by the material, they're going to turn off.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: So guess what?
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: That information is super vital.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's coming direct from your audience that you're trying to reach and trying to educate.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you can't educate them if you can't get them to pay attention.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas the people who already have significant knowledge
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: on this topic may not be your main audience.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, you don't want to bore them or talk down to them either.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: Now sometimes people come to your work with very specific triggers
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: and they may respond very emotionally to the things that you did.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: And the next thing you have to consider is,
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: are they responding this way because I'm representing a world
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: that makes them feel uncomfortable?
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's different.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: Making your audience uncomfortable is different than being inauthentic or lying to them, right?
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's okay to make your audience uncomfortable.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes that's the entire point.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: So if someone comes up to you and says,
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: wow, that narrative made me feel very, very uncomfortable.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: And you're speaking uncomfortable truths.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: Then that's actually a positive piece of information.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: But if they come to you and you're writing a TV pilot for
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: five
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: to seven year old kids and parents come to you and say,
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: well, that made me really uncomfortable.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you really, really need to rethink your project.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: Everything is context.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: So I think it's really,
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: really important for you to give yourself the luxury of time and space
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: to digest everything that was given to you.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I once went to a reading where a writer got a pylon
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: for missing some fairly major dramatic concepts.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: And this playwright was in the midst of a big group of other playwrights,
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: some of which were more experienced.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: And they gave her an earful that felt overwhelming.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: And so the playwright went out for drinks afterwards and brought some
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: of their closest friends and And the closest friends went in and dispelled all of
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: the quote-unquote hurtful feedback.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: They came back and said,
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: well, that's not what you were trying to do and you shouldn't listen to that person.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: And they didn't really have any great reasons to dispel the The feedback
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: that this playwright got,
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: what they were trying to do was to stop the playwright from feeling sad
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: or uncomfortable.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's something you have to watch out for.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: The work is going to make us feel sad and uncomfortable,
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: and I think that we just need to sit with that.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's part of the process.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: No,
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: it doesn't feel good for a bunch of writers to tell you you went down the wrong path
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: and that you need to rewrite everything.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: Ouch.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's embarrassing and that hurts.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: But we've all been through it at one point or another.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's just your turn.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_00: I know that's really dark, but you can't expand yourself as an artist.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: Unless you expose yourself as an artist.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: Growth is uncomfortable.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: I would watch out for anyone who is interested in taking your discomfort away.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: Reframing discomfort?
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: That's helpful.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: If you're taking something super personally and you're like, oh,
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: this person thinks I'm a terrible writer and now I'm embarrassed and And,
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: there's often that feeling of like,
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if I can show my face in that room again.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: It was a nightmare.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: I've just been obliterated in this room.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, yes,
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: I do think that artists can learn to be better at giving feedback in ways where
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: the listener can hear it.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_00: But that doesn't negate the message of their feedback.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: If you've fundamentally ignored a circumstance that you've established
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: for your character and they have behaved in a completely different way and ignored
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: that circumstance that you set up earlier,
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: you're going to have to hear that feedback.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_00: If you actually want to produce a piece that makes sense,
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: it's not helpful for someone to take that Feedback away or to negate it just
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: to make you feel like a better playwright than you are.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: That feels terrible for me to say.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: But we all have a trajectory.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: We can all improve.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: And a little piece of harsh advice.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: You'll live.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_00: You'll be fine.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_00: You can't let that stop you.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: Instead,
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: you're going to have to reframe that for yourself or seek some help to reframe that
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_00: as instructive.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: I mean,
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_00: in that particular instance where you've missed a circumstance and set it up earlier
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: and then ignored it later because it was inconvenient.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that tells me if that were me receiving that kind of feedback.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: Then I'd be like, okay, what do I need that circumstance first of all?
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: Is that something that I need to do away with because it's superfluous?
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we do add like, oh,
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: these cool things at the beginning of the writing process and
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: then we end up going down a different pathway than we expected
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: and certain narratives can fall off and we have to figure out if they need
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: to be pruned or not.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: If this is a consistent problem with your work,
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_00: then you need to go, okay,
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: what is it about my work that I keep dropping circumstances halfway through
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: the narrative?
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: What do I do to solve that for myself?
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: How do I address that?
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: What makes sense to me moving forward so that I don't keep repeating that problem
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: over and over and over again?
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_00: So even something that is a bit of an ouchie can be so useful and a space where you can expand.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_00: Now you're going to have to find the tools to solve that for yourself.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: And there are loads of different ways to find it.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: There are as many tools as there are artists.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody's got a different way of approaching it.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I highly recommend studying.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_00: Find out about the artists you respect and the work that they do.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: Start kind of pulling them apart.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_00: Give them challenging questions in your mind as you are consuming their work so
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: that you can start to see where they've succeeded in something
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_00: where you have fallen short.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_00: Super useful.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: Another thing that you also need to consider as you're sitting with this feedback
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: that you've gotten is Do I understand how this piece of feedback is operating in
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: the work and at what points it is operating?
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_00: For example,
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: if you have the feedback from someone where they say like,
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: during all of these speeches, I zoned out.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_00: I went somewhere else in my head and I missed vital information.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I was lost, right?
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: That is super valuable.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_00: You can go back to the piece and go, where are all my big speeches?
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: Hmm.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: Am I front loading the information I need the audience to understand?
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: Or am I burying it in a bunch of filler?
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_00: Does every line need to be said?
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_00: Where am I repeating too much?
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: Where am I hitting the audience over the head with something
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: and dropping information that they can't catch because they're too busy with this?
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: Where am I distracting my audience?
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: Am I trying to distract them?
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_00: Where am I just padding because I know I need For pacing,
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_00: something needs to be here, but I don't know what that something is.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_00: Is that something moving the plot forward?
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_00: If you're coming at it from,
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: I know exactly where that person had that response,
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_00: and therefore I have places I can go to look at it more closely.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_00: That is ultimately what we're shooting for with feedback.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's what all artists want with feedback and it's the most helpful.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_00: You're not always going to get another artist who expresses themselves that cleanly or clearly.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: But I guess if we train ourselves and we train our cohort by example,
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: then things do become more helpful.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_00: Okay,
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_00: so what happens if you are in a feedback session and you're sort of triggered by,
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: wow,
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: they totally misread what I had to say and they missed everything
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_00: for whatever reason?
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: You can find yourself in a head-butting situation where, you know what?
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_00: We all feel it when we feel like our work is being attacked,
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_00: we feel like we are being attacked, and we go into defensive mode.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_00: Listen, we're only human,
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: so how do we manage that scenario where we feel like we have to defend ourselves
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: and defend our work?
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_00: If you can't stop yourself from responding right away,
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_00: because stopping yourself from responding right away is the best case scenario
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_00: when you feel yourself being, well for lack of a better word, attacked.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: Then the next best option is to give yourself space to receive
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_00: If you're feeling your walls go up,
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_00: it's okay to bring that to the table and say, can you give me a minute?
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm feeling defensive right now and I need a moment to process.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: Can I get up and get a drink of water?
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_00: Can I ask you a question?
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_00: Can we table this for another time?
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_00: You are well within your rights to do so.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that we Feel obligated to torturing ourselves sometimes.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_00: And it's okay to say, hey, I don't think I'm at this spot in my process right now.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_00: Can I write 20 more pages or work on this for another week and then we can revisit?
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: Would you be amenable to that?
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's better for you to recognize that That maybe your work is not in
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_00: the place where you can absorb the kind of content that someone is bringing to you.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_00: I've brought many very raw pieces into writer's group and I have not figured everything out.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_00: And it's pretty obvious that I have big holes in the narrative.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_00: I have not answered some vital questions for the characters.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just hacking down a pathway through the jungle with my narrative.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_00: The roads aren't paved yet, and I'm not anywhere close to paving the roads.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still hacking down vegetation and making sure that I'm not hurting anything along the way.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's totally okay to say, wow, I'm going to take that into consideration as I continue working.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_00: But right now, let me put that on the back burner because I have some other concerns.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_00: But I hear you and I'll take that into account.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes when someone's just full of shit, let them.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_00: Just let them.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have to hurt you.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_00: We have to be able to trust our circles here.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are finding yourself forever in a feedback cycle
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: with people you don't feel you can trust,
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_00: you need to find another group
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_00: that you feel like you can actually hear what they're bringing to you.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_00: I do think it's really,
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_00: really important for us to challenge ourselves to not release work into
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_00: the grander sphere before it's ready.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_00: And part of that is subjecting ourselves to a feedback cycle.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_00: And part of that feedback cycle is being able to filter out
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_00: for ourselves what is useful to Try and reframe the stuff that doesn't feel useful
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_00: but feels triggering.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_00: If something is triggering you, I promise you there is something there for you.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_00: It just may be wearing different clothes and you need to dress it differently so
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_00: that you can understand it.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_00: But that takes time and a lot of patience and a lot of self-care.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_00: At the end of the day,
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_00: if you are creating work that gets to the feedback stage,
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_00: you've already done something pretty big.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_00: You should give yourself credit for getting that far.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_00: It can be really disheartening to get to this stage and find out that you need
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_00: to go back and rebuild some things and Reduce structures and pull something apart
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_00: and put it back together again.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_00: That is frustrating and it can hurt the heart,
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_00: but it doesn't mean that you are not a worthy artist.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_00: The best artists that you know have been here and will be here again.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_00: Cause that's what growth looks like.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_00: If you remember those growing pains,
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_00: feeling your legs like they were on fire and needing to like kick and
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_00: And couldn't be able to get comfortable.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_00: And all of that physical pain that you felt as a child is your growing.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_00: That happens when we grow as artists too.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_00: So don't look at a feedback session as a setback.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_00: Look at it as a sign that you are growing.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_00: And congratulate yourself for that.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_00: The respect you deserve for putting your work out there and working to improve.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_00: Those are my thoughts for this week.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for sticking with me.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_00: Not sure what we're going to talk about next week yet, but we'll get there.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_00: And take it easy on yourself, but not too easy.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_00: Have a creative week.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_00: I can't wait to talk to you again on the Imperfect Impulse.
• 33:40
  [music]