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Be Proud to Be You: Embrace Your Personality · The No Cry Zone

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_03: Get the four out pretty easy to tell a little reelin' not much.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_03: Well it's filling 35 money in the bank.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I got a fan to prove.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_03: Been a while since I slept a fist bringing my steps.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_03: You'll be mine if it's the last thing I do.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Be proud to be you.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: Embrace your personality.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the No Cry Zone for a sharper take on living.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Jim Best, and surprisingly, I'm coming to you this week from Cornwall, England of all places.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Our featured song today is a fun one called Tiger in My Cank.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's another of those great tunes by Brazen Candor.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: More to come.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: Today's topic is a fun one with several valuable takeaways.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: First, I want to start with a very basic question.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: What makes you feel proud of yourself?
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: Not what are you supposed to be proud of?
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: Not what would sound impressive if you told someone else.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Not what gets you applause.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: But what makes you quietly think, I like that about myself.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: I like what I did there.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: I like the way I handled that.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm proud of myself for that.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: We do have a strange relationship with feeling proud of ourselves, don't we?
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: We're taught to be humble.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Don't brag.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Don't be egocentric.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: Who do you think you are?
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Don't think so highly of yourself.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: And we've all heard some version of pride goes before a fall.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: And certainly nobody enjoys being around someone who constantly needs to tell us how wonderful they are.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: But I think we're making an enormous mistake if we've allowed our concern about arrogance to become a suspicion of healthy self-regard.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because there's nothing wrong with liking yourself.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing wrong with being pleased with yourself.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: And there is absolutely nothing wrong with occasionally saying, I'm proud of who I am.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: Or I'm really proud of who I am.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what I want to talk about today.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: Be proud to be you.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Think about that for a moment.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Not be proud because you're better.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Not be proud because you're special.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Not you're be proud because everyone else should admire you.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Simply be proud to be you.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: There's a tremendous difference between self-respect and superiority.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: Superiority requires somebody else.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm smarter than you.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm more successful than you.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm better looking than you.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm more talented than you.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: I'm more popular than you.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm more important than you.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Healthy self-regard doesn't require comparison at all.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Healthy self-regard says, I'm glad I'm me.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: And that's quite different, isn't it?
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: I wonder how many people can genuinely say that.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because we live in an extraordinary age of comparison.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: We're constantly seeing other people's lives, appearances, accomplishments, vacations, houses, careers, relationships, and highlight reels.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: And without realizing it, we can begin editing ourselves, comparing ourselves against everybody else.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I should be more outgoing.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I should be quieter.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I should be more serious.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I should be funnier.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I should be more sophisticated.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I shouldn't care so much.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I should care more.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: Pretty soon your personality becomes a renovation project.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that is worth questioning.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: I do think there's value in looking at ourselves as a work in progress, and I've shared that perspective with you many times.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: But, and this matters, I think we can be very proud of our progress to this point.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what I want you to embrace.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: Be unconditionally proud of your progress.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: Your personality isn't a problem to solve.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Of course we should grow and we want to grow.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Of course there are behaviors we should change.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: If you offend people with unnecessary bluntness, work on it.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: If you interrupt people too often, you can work on that.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: If you're unreliable, you can work on that.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: If some characteristic is hurting you or hurting other people, that's worth examining and addressing.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: But that's very different from treating every idiosyncrasy as a defect.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're enthusiastic.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's good.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're reserved.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's okay.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're sentimental.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: That's fine too.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're analytical.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're playful.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're serious.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you have an odd sense of humor.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you become ridiculously excited about subjects nobody else seems to care about.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: Good.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: Those things are part of the texture of your personality.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the great losses in life occurs when somebody gradually edits away the interesting parts of themselves because they don't receive enough approval.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I think a useful exercise is simply to ask, What do I like about being me?
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not egocentric.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: That is self-awareness.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: What characteristics do you genuinely enjoy having?
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: What do you bring into a room?
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: What do people count on you for?
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: What makes you laugh?
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: What fascinates you?
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: What are your peculiarities?
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: What are you unusually good at?
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: What have you accomplished that still gives you little internal feeling of satisfaction?
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: What have you endured?
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: What have you learned?
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: What have you taught others?
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: What do you do when nobody is watching that makes you respect yourself?
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: Those answers tell you something.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: Now, we're gonna take a break, and when we come back, I've got some what I will call no hype here, critical distinction to share with you before you head out from the no-cry zone with your own proud self to share with the world.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: Meanwhile, sing along with brazen candor, tiger in my tank.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_03: I came back first because my dad got sick, but I never said the reason why.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_03: If he knew we would have been so tick, saying son, did you come back to watch me die?
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_03: I thought some lady's gonna have some fun that it hurt my songs on the radio, but I never failed for a single one.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_02: Nice, but not special, you know.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_03: I got a girlfriend at the bank.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I got a thing to do to prove.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_03: There's a promise to be kept.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_03: So there's a spring in my steps, you'll be mine.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: It'll be the best thing I do.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: I do want to acknowledge several of you who are following us at upwardsbest.com, the daily dose for personal growth.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: We've received some great feedback on our new feature there, Sunday Song Day.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: That is where we share a new unreleased cover by Brazen Kandor and invite your feedback.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: We've done it two Sundays in a row.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: Going forward, our pace is likely to be every other week.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: But we'll see how the band feels about it.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: And just a little reminder it's August in the no-cry zone.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: And last week I remended everyone in Upwards Best.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: Make sure you are tracking and on pace towards your goals and aspirations, and especially with your intentional evolution.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: 2026 has four and a half more months to give us.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: Finish up for this year, and then lay the groundwork to make 2027 our best year ever.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: I know you know that, but I feel better reminding everybody.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: Now back to work.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: Big question: What makes you proud?
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: Here's another distinction I think matters.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: Some pride comes from accomplishment.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: You worked hard, you finished something, you won, you improved, you persevered, and you should enjoy that and be proud of that.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: But accomplishment shouldn't be the only permission you have to like yourself.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to wake up every morning and re-qualify for self-respect.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: You can be proud of characteristics as well as accomplishments.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're loyal, maybe you're curious, maybe you keep your word, maybe you're the person who checks on somebody when you know they're struggling.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're courageous.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're unusually willing to admit when you're wrong.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're the one who keeps everybody loose when things get difficult.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're able to get people to laugh and enjoy life a little bit more.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: Those things matter.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: And perhaps we don't spend enough time noticing them.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: Here's another important principle.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: Don't outsource your opinion of yourself.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: Here's where this gets particularly important.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: If your opinion of yourself depends entirely upon other people's reactions to you, you've outsourced something enormously valuable.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: And that is not a wise thing to do.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: Other people can help us see ourselves.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: Feedback matters, correction matters.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: We all have blind spots, don't we?
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: But other people shouldn't possess veto power over your personality.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: Let's face it, not everybody is gonna like you.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not necessarily evidence that something is wrong with you.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: Some people won't understand your humor, some won't share your interests, some will find you too quiet, others will find you too loud, too ambitious, too relaxed, too intellectual, too emotional, too something.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: People are judgmental.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: Good luck changing that about other people.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: You could spend the rest of your life trying to adjust yourself to satisfy all of them.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: And eventually, you'd become almost impossible to describe.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: So, here's my suggestion.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: Get reacquainted with yourself.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: Not the idealized version, not the criticized version, not the resume version.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: You, the genuine you.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: Identify the characteristics you're glad you have.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: Identify the things you've done that make you feel proud.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: Identify the qualities you want to preserve, even while you continue growing.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: And give yourself permission to go ahead the green light to enjoy them.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because this isn't the end of the conversation.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: In our next session, we're going to add what might initially sound like a contradiction.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: Today I'm telling you, embrace who you are.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: Next time I'm going to tell you, don't become satisfied with all you could be.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: Those ideas don't contradict each other.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, I think they belong together.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's why they're topics in the no-cry zone.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: You can appreciate who you are today while remaining fascinated by who you could become tomorrow.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: That's where potential enters the picture.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: So between now and then, here's the no cry zone question.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: What makes you proud to be you?
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: Give yourself an honest answer.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: A thoughtful answer.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to announce it.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to post it.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to ask anybody else what they think about it.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need anybody's permission.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: Just notice it.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: Identify those things.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: Because there ought to be some things about being you that you thoroughly enjoy and are proud to claim.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: And you ought to know and be proud of what they are.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, aspire, be inquisitive, come upwards with us.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for joining me in an old cry zone.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: Get out there and grab yourself a great week.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: Do keep in mind, great weeks are completely complimentary, and you are free to have all that you want.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: Enjoy them responsibly, and do join me next time.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_03: There's a tiger in my tank.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like money in the bank.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I got a thing to the proof.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_03: That's the last thing I do.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, Brandon be mad.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_03: First time around, didn't go so well.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_03: We don't win the shopping for free.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_03: Get the full out of pretty easy to tell a little spot, but really not much to see.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_03: Well it's filling, 35 ans, just like it's all the boats, get pretty far.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_03: Cause my dad got the stick, but I never said the reason why.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_03: If we knew we would have been so fixed and done, then you come back to watch me die.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_03: But I never spelled for a single one.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_02: Nice, but not special, you know.