Latest / The Breakfast Club / INTERVIEW: Pastor Touré Roberts Talks New Book ‘Knowing’, Learning To Be Still, Self-Love, Overcoming Trauma + More

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INTERVIEW: Pastor Touré Roberts Talks New Book ‘Knowing’, Learning To Be Still, Self-Love, Overcoming Trauma + More · The Breakfast Club

0:01
Speaker 1: Every day a waiting go click yours up the breakfast Club.
0:05
Speaker 2: You know, I'm finish for y'all. Done morning.
0:08
Speaker 3: Everybody is DJ Envy just hilarious.
0:11
Speaker 4: Charlamagne the guy. We are the breakfast Club Law on
0:13
Speaker 4: the roses here as well. We got a special guest.
0:15
Speaker 2: In the building guy.
0:16
Speaker 4: His new book Knowing is available right now, Ladies and gentlemen.
0:19
Speaker 3: To Ray Roberts, good morning, brother, good morning.
0:24
Speaker 4: How are you feeling this morning?
0:25
Speaker 3: I feel good, good to be here. I'm thankful, very grateful.
0:28
Speaker 2: I got to ask the Queen.
0:30
Speaker 3: She's doing good. She's got a chill for six weeks
0:32
Speaker 3: just to get stable and then the recovery can begin.
0:35
Speaker 3: So you know, Sarah, she likes to go, but I've
0:37
Speaker 3: got a whole team around her saying you can't go,
0:40
Speaker 3: go slow. We need you. And so she's doing good
0:42
Speaker 3: and she sends her love and greetings.
0:45
Speaker 5: I saw her post yesterday that you know she likes
0:47
Speaker 5: she would love to be with you because y'all do
0:49
Speaker 5: all the big moments together, but she can't be with you,
0:51
Speaker 5: and just congratulating you on the book as well.
0:53
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's hard because that's that's not just my
0:55
Speaker 3: my bride that's my partner, Like, we do everything together.
0:58
Speaker 3: So for her not to be here it's rough. But
1:02
Speaker 3: she's almost threatened me not to like, you better not go.
1:06
Speaker 3: You know, you got a great message, you got an assignment.
1:10
Speaker 3: I'll be okay. And so we negotiated. I said, look,
1:12
Speaker 3: as long as there are people around the clock at
1:14
Speaker 3: the house twenty four to seven, I'll go.
1:16
Speaker 1: Well, let's talk about it right knowing the journey to
1:19
Speaker 1: certainty in an uncertain world.
1:22
Speaker 2: Your book is about.
1:23
Speaker 1: To come out and something like that happens, that's like
1:27
Speaker 1: epitome of uncertainty.
1:29
Speaker 2: What do you think God was wanting you to know
1:31
Speaker 2: in that moment? Man?
1:32
Speaker 3: I love that question. The book starts off with basically
1:37
Speaker 3: me being in a challenging spot when I sat down
1:39
Speaker 3: to write it. So you can imagine that I'm writing
1:41
Speaker 3: a book that's about confidence and knowing and so many
1:44
Speaker 3: other things and then I get slammed. So I feel
1:47
Speaker 3: like it took me to a deeper level of knowing
1:50
Speaker 3: to be honest with you, because sometimes you have to
1:53
Speaker 3: frame your circumstances. So as it relates to what happened
1:55
Speaker 3: with Sarah, for those who don't know, she was in
1:57
Speaker 3: an accident, and she fractured her neck in several places.
2:02
Speaker 3: And I'll be honest with you, I was devastated, but
2:05
Speaker 3: I had to reframe it. I could look at it as, hey,
2:07
Speaker 3: this horrible thing happened to my wife, how could that happen?
2:11
Speaker 3: Or I could reframe what I know about it and say,
2:14
Speaker 3: this wasn't a doomsday. This was the day that God
2:16
Speaker 3: delivered her. So it taught me how sometimes knowing is
2:20
Speaker 3: not about what happened, but learning to reframe your circumstances
2:23
Speaker 3: so that you can move forward with gratitude instead of
2:25
Speaker 3: being depressed.
2:27
Speaker 1: You know, we hear that scripture all the time, right
2:29
Speaker 1: Psalm forty sixteen.
2:31
Speaker 2: You know, be still and know that I Am God.
2:33
Speaker 2: Like you start to book offed, be still and know.
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Speaker 1: Right when you're still, what are you trying to know?
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Speaker 1: Like you know what I mean, when you're in that
2:40
Speaker 1: moment stillness, what are you trying to know?
2:42
Speaker 3: I think you're trying to perceive truth. So we live
2:45
Speaker 3: in an attention economy, as you know, So every day
2:48
Speaker 3: that you get up in the morning, you got ten
2:49
Speaker 3: thousand companies vying for your decision, literally vying for your
2:54
Speaker 3: next step. And so so waking up is warfare, to
2:57
Speaker 3: be honest with you, because everybody's trying to try to
2:59
Speaker 3: get you to move, and so what stillness will do?
3:02
Speaker 3: And for me and I just I'm going to throw
3:04
Speaker 3: this out here, leave that phone alone for the first
3:07
Speaker 3: ten to fifteen minutes of a day, right because that
3:09
Speaker 3: warfare is coming through that phone. And you say, I
3:11
Speaker 3: need to see what time it is. Get a clock.
3:13
Speaker 3: What happened to the old school digital clock? But what
3:16
Speaker 3: you're trying to tap into is truth because I don't
3:19
Speaker 3: even know what's true. I got so much manipulation coming
3:22
Speaker 3: at me from marketers, big tag, everybody. So I need
3:26
Speaker 3: to get still, you know, tap into what I know.
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Speaker 3: Like for me, I love Psalm twenty three and one
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Speaker 3: and it says the Lord is my shepherd. I have
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Speaker 3: no lack, or I shall not want to say I
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Speaker 3: have no lack. That's stillness, right because now I'm not
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Speaker 3: in this race to get or this sense of I'm
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Speaker 3: about to miss out on something, and I can get
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Speaker 3: still and really sense what God might be trying to
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Speaker 3: bring into my spirit the clarity that I need. If
3:50
Speaker 3: you slow down, you can speed up with accuracy.
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Speaker 5: What about like when you're gotten to that place of
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Speaker 5: certainty right, and then you're doing new things or something.
4:00
Speaker 5: Then major happens, like you know what happened in pastor Sarah,
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Speaker 5: or even something positive happens, and now things are speeding
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Speaker 5: up again and you don't have the time to really
4:08
Speaker 5: sit and be still. How do you be still while
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Speaker 5: not having the time to really do it?
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Speaker 3: The truth of the matter is, there are going to
4:14
Speaker 3: be seasons that go really really, really fast, and you
4:17
Speaker 3: got to know that, especially in our world. You know,
4:19
Speaker 3: stuff moves fast, and you have to move fast. Some
4:21
Speaker 3: doors are only open for a short window of time.
4:24
Speaker 3: That means that when you have a chance to be still,
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Speaker 3: you gotta take it. Because there's nothing wrong with going fast.
4:30
Speaker 3: Fast is actually a good thing. Velocity. You need that velocity,
4:34
Speaker 3: but you just have to make certain that you have
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Speaker 3: enough equity of stillness so that you have clarity. Ain't
4:39
Speaker 3: nothing wrong with running as long as you're running accurately.
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Speaker 1: You know a lot of people think they know themselves
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Speaker 1: and still move wrong. How do you know when you
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Speaker 1: really know and when you just lie in to yourself?
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Speaker 3: Ooh, that's wonderful. Self awareness is everything. In the book
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Speaker 3: I talk about misnoing and how sometimes we do feel
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Speaker 3: like we're knowing something, but what is shaping your knowing? Like,
5:03
Speaker 3: for example, in that chapter called Misnoing, I talk about
5:07
Speaker 3: trauma's secret symptom, and the best way to illustrate this
5:10
Speaker 3: is to tell your story. So we were going out
5:13
Speaker 3: of the country and my sixteen year old daughter, she
5:15
Speaker 3: was fourteenth at the time, told me that she told
5:17
Speaker 3: her friends at school that I was that we were
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Speaker 3: going out of the country. I'm like, Kensey, don't be
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Speaker 3: telling them that they might know that we're going and
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Speaker 3: breaking to our house and Roberts. Now, now wait a minute,
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Speaker 3: it's real. But we're talking about little Becky.
5:33
Speaker 2: Little Becky so have a brother, but it comes from
5:38
Speaker 2: your how you you grew up around.
5:40
Speaker 3: But yeah, but it's ridiculous though. So and Sarah had
5:43
Speaker 3: to pull my car. She's like, so, so baby, hold on,
5:45
Speaker 3: let me let's let's do the math. Here you're saying
5:48
Speaker 3: that little Becky is going to get past the guards.
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Speaker 3: She's going to scale the fence, get past the security
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Speaker 3: cameras and robers blind and I had to laugh, but
5:58
Speaker 3: it was real to me.
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Speaker 2: I have to watch.
6:00
Speaker 3: That's to watch. But but look but but it's true.
6:04
Speaker 3: But but I don't live in no more. I'm very
6:07
Speaker 3: far away. So so I'm I'm calling it wisdom, but
6:11
Speaker 3: it's not really wisdom. It's worried. And now I'm putting
6:13
Speaker 3: that worry on my kids. They don't know about, you know,
6:16
Speaker 3: getting robbed in home evasion. So so I'm I'm imparting.
6:20
Speaker 3: I'm imparting an experience that I worked hard to make
6:24
Speaker 3: sure that they didn't have. But that's that's that miss doing.
6:27
Speaker 3: So what you have to do is, look, I believe
6:29
Speaker 3: in therapy. You know, I believe in like therapy. Know
6:32
Speaker 3: what's going on, know why you think what you think.
6:35
Speaker 3: There's a concept called made a cognition, and it basically
6:38
Speaker 3: means thinking about your thinking, not just thinking, but thinking process.
6:43
Speaker 3: And how did I get to this thought?
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Speaker 1: Is that's one of the highest forms of intelligence, of
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Speaker 1: being able to think about your own thinking?
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Speaker 3: Yes, absolutely, But is that is that really worrying?
6:52
Speaker 4: Or is that wisdom?
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Speaker 1: Right?
6:53
Speaker 2: Because we're Dad's so, but you also want to think
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Speaker 2: that kids don't, right, You want you.
6:58
Speaker 4: Want to teach because you're not going to be here,
7:00
Speaker 4: so you want your daughter to of course be free
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Speaker 4: of course feel away, but you also wanted to keep
7:05
Speaker 4: that eye open that she might not know because you
7:08
Speaker 4: were from a different place where she grew up. I
7:09
Speaker 4: you know, I grew up in Queens, But I grew
7:11
Speaker 4: up in Queens. I never had a home evasion. I
7:13
Speaker 4: grew up in Jersey. I've had two you know what
7:15
Speaker 4: I'm saying, And I've had I got security the dog
7:17
Speaker 4: because it's just that equal moment. So you have to
7:20
Speaker 4: teach them to move differently, you know what I mean.
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Speaker 4: So I don't know if worrying it's a little bit
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Speaker 4: of worried and wisdom though it is.
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Speaker 3: But but well, my daughter, who has never been the Watts,
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Speaker 3: who has never been I'm talking about Ella now, who's
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Speaker 3: never been to Wats, who's never been to anything other
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Speaker 3: than safety, wakes up saying, Dad, I'm scared something's wrong
7:39
Speaker 3: because there is a You're right, there's a fine line
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Speaker 3: between wisdom and fear. But fear is debilitating.
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Speaker 2: Baby girl.
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Speaker 3: You ten years old. You ain't got nothing to be
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Speaker 3: afraid of. You know, go live like dream does. An
7:50
Speaker 3: innocence of you want to protect. So now, don't get
7:52
Speaker 3: me wrong, I have to sit downs with with my
7:54
Speaker 3: boys about getting pulled over and all that kind of stuff.
7:57
Speaker 3: But you I have to make sure that I am
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Speaker 3: not sewing into them the pain of my experience at
8:04
Speaker 3: the at the expense of their innocence.
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Speaker 1: That's the hardest part, right, especially as a father, because
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Speaker 1: you don't want to pass that trauma into them, right,
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Speaker 1: But it's like you still want them to be aware
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Speaker 1: to but not traumatized.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's hard. So we we've learned to handle it.
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Speaker 3: So so you know, we've experienced all that, so we
8:24
Speaker 3: we know how to navigate it. But a child, they're
8:26
Speaker 3: not how to navigate that. Like I'm putting ideas in
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Speaker 3: their minds, scary ideas in their mind that they have
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Speaker 3: no context for with the exception of me telling them that.
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Speaker 3: So I would rather them be free. I don't want
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Speaker 3: them to be stupid. I don't want them to be unwise,
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Speaker 3: but but I have to really manage how I present
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Speaker 3: something to them.
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Speaker 5: What was your daughter's response when you told her that though, like, no,
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Speaker 5: you know.
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Speaker 3: She looked she looked at me like I was crazy.
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Speaker 1: She like really like that, Y is really gonna wanted
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Speaker 1: to be.
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Speaker 3: Did you explain like where you were coming from?
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Speaker 6: More like I'm tripping. You know what I mean, Like
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Speaker 6: what happened in that moment.
9:03
Speaker 3: I probably need to have a follow up conversation. I
9:04
Speaker 3: was so I was so embarrassed because Sarah pulled my
9:08
Speaker 3: car go. She's like like, come on, dog enough. Look
9:12
Speaker 3: I realized you want to you don't want to sit
9:14
Speaker 3: with your back to the door. That's great, I get that,
9:16
Speaker 3: But come on, dog, Becky, I get it. So he
9:19
Speaker 3: got a big brother.
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Speaker 4: Hang out with the home that come up and yo,
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Speaker 4: you know, the ROMs just went on vacation.
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Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Live again? Is knowing yourself
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Speaker 2: a destination or a daily practice?
9:37
Speaker 3: Oh, it's a daily practice because you know you're you're
9:40
Speaker 3: you're unfolding.
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Speaker 2: Uh.
9:42
Speaker 3: And then you know it's like and then the more
9:45
Speaker 3: you grow, now you got to relearn yourself again. You
9:47
Speaker 3: know you you know who you are at twenty thirty forty,
9:49
Speaker 3: you got to keep learning and and uh. And there's
9:52
Speaker 3: just a lot we're we're complicated, we're complex. There's stuff
9:55
Speaker 3: that we there's trauma that we know about. There's trauma
9:58
Speaker 3: that we don't. Like. When I got shot when I
10:00
Speaker 3: was sixteen years old, my body healed in months, but
10:03
Speaker 3: my trauma I'm still being delivered from the trauma. And
10:06
Speaker 3: this is decades later. You know, my son, one of
10:09
Speaker 3: my sons, Isaiah, he you know, he wants to He
10:12
Speaker 3: told me, no, God's called him to to move to LA.
10:15
Speaker 3: And I'll be honest with you, man, my eyes got big,
10:17
Speaker 3: and I'm like, I got afraid, you know, because you know,
10:21
Speaker 3: I feel like and first of all, La is amazing.
10:23
Speaker 3: You know, I still have a place there and I'm there,
10:25
Speaker 3: you know, once a month or whatever.
10:27
Speaker 2: But yeah, I got the church there.
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Speaker 3: But I but I also had a lot of pain
10:32
Speaker 3: there and I feel like, in the recesses of my mind,
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Speaker 3: I escaped all of that, right I moved from watching,
10:37
Speaker 3: I kept going, kept going, kept going. All in Calabasa's
10:39
Speaker 3: now so for him, as a young man who I'm
10:42
Speaker 3: trying to protect, for him to say, Dad, I feel
10:45
Speaker 3: called to go back to La. And I love La,
10:48
Speaker 3: but it doesn't feel as abundant as it used to.
10:49
Speaker 3: I'll be honest you, when I go back there, it's
10:51
Speaker 3: a little different. But that was trauma. Man. I woke up,
10:54
Speaker 3: I'll be honest, I woke up to the middle of night.
10:56
Speaker 3: I woke stir up. I'm like, babe, man, he wants
10:58
Speaker 3: to move back to LA. You know, you you stay
11:00
Speaker 3: here with me in Dallas. I can cover you, I
11:02
Speaker 3: can protect you. You. We got a lot of relationships, and
11:04
Speaker 3: I have relationships there. But what I'm getting at is
11:06
Speaker 3: that it takes time. You don't even realize that the
11:10
Speaker 3: trauma's there until there's something that confronts that trauma, you know.
11:13
Speaker 3: And I had to apologize to him. I told him, Hey,
11:16
Speaker 3: if God's calling you to go, he's got you. I said,
11:18
Speaker 3: but I know you saw a little bit of worry
11:20
Speaker 3: in Dad's face. This is why. And you know he
11:22
Speaker 3: told me, he said, yeah, Dad, I get it. He said,
11:24
Speaker 3: but the same God that took care of you, the
11:26
Speaker 3: same God that protected you, provided for you, blessed you.
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Speaker 3: You know, it's gonna take care of me. And I
11:31
Speaker 3: had to give it up.
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Speaker 5: And when I hear you say that because I used
11:35
Speaker 5: to go to your church when I moved to LA,
11:37
Speaker 5: I think a lot of people when you go to LA,
11:38
Speaker 5: they tell you to go to one church, right, and
11:41
Speaker 5: being in your church that was like when you were
11:43
Speaker 5: new to LA, that's like the only place you kind
11:45
Speaker 5: of felt like we can get together and we feel
11:46
Speaker 5: at home. So to hear you say that your son
11:49
Speaker 5: is being called there, I feel like he might have
11:51
Speaker 5: a call on his life where he's going to usher
11:53
Speaker 5: in that new generation of that because it's a lot
11:55
Speaker 5: of us that came from the like we know each
11:57
Speaker 5: other because we went to one church and it really
11:59
Speaker 5: was like LA felt different then now to like at
12:02
Speaker 5: that point too, like he might have that for his
12:04
Speaker 5: own self. And I think hearing you say that you're
12:07
Speaker 5: scared about that, I wonder when you were kind of
12:09
Speaker 5: you know, in LA and you decided to get into
12:11
Speaker 5: the church, what fears did you have for your own
12:14
Speaker 5: self because you did so much for so many people,
12:16
Speaker 5: and he's probably about to do that too.
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Speaker 3: Wow, that's crazy. First of all, I feel like you
12:19
Speaker 3: prophesied a little bit. You're definitely encouraging me if nothing else.
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Speaker 3: I didn't. I didn't even look at it as fear
12:26
Speaker 3: because I was in it. I like grew up there,
12:28
Speaker 3: and so you know, you navigate certain things. If you're
12:31
Speaker 3: gonna go to certain places, you go a certain way.
12:34
Speaker 3: But I didn't really, I didn't really have that fear.
12:36
Speaker 3: So that's why I know it's trauma because I don't
12:39
Speaker 3: have it for me. But I have it for him,
12:41
Speaker 3: maybe trying to protect them.
12:42
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, you dedicated the book to your children. Have
12:46
Speaker 2: they read it yet? They have?
12:47
Speaker 3: They have they read it before it was published? Yeah,
12:50
Speaker 3: And that's really like when I write a book. You know,
12:53
Speaker 3: the Bible talks about a good man will leave an
12:55
Speaker 3: inheritance for his children's children. And of course that's gonna
12:58
Speaker 3: be an inheritance of resources, property and all that kind
13:01
Speaker 3: of stuff if you're able to do that, but for me,
13:03
Speaker 3: it's also wisdom. So like knowing is a book that
13:07
Speaker 3: if they didn't have any other book, if Dad was
13:09
Speaker 3: checking out tomorrow and I needed to leave them a
13:12
Speaker 3: guy that will see them through every season of their lives,
13:15
Speaker 3: that's the book. And so I have so I envision
13:19
Speaker 3: my children. Even when I preach, I envision my children
13:22
Speaker 3: because the only way it's going to be effective and
13:24
Speaker 3: transformational is if I love. If I am in love
13:28
Speaker 3: with the person on the other side of those words.
13:30
Speaker 3: So I know if I write it for my children,
13:33
Speaker 3: I'm gonna write it in love. I'm gonna give it
13:36
Speaker 3: my best, and that means that the reader on the
13:38
Speaker 3: other side is gonna experience that too.
13:39
Speaker 5: And that is why you allowed your dalla to do
13:42
Speaker 5: your foreword.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, which is crazy though because she's ten now,
13:46
Speaker 3: but she was nine at the time. And she came
13:48
Speaker 3: to me and she's kind of like an introvert, to
13:51
Speaker 3: be honest with you, and she came to me and
13:52
Speaker 3: she's like, Dad, I want to write the foreword. Now
13:55
Speaker 3: she's nine years old. Like, first of all, how do
13:58
Speaker 3: you even really understand what a foreword is? But there
14:02
Speaker 3: was something in her eye like when she said it,
14:04
Speaker 3: and you know, kids be tapped in, you know, And
14:06
Speaker 3: I looked at her and I was like, okay, okay,
14:09
Speaker 3: And so I went to my publisher, and my publisher
14:12
Speaker 3: was like, you know, and understandably because it doesn't you know,
14:16
Speaker 3: it's supposed to be a subject matter expert or somebody
14:18
Speaker 3: that can bring value. But I trusted what she felt.
14:24
Speaker 3: And now, you know, when I'm doing press, that's one
14:27
Speaker 3: of the things that everybody wants to talk about. And
14:29
Speaker 3: when you think about it, children are actually closer to
14:33
Speaker 3: that God knowing than we are. They haven't been contaminated
14:36
Speaker 3: by life and all that kind of stuff, and so
14:39
Speaker 3: so it actually was a setup. You know, she knew,
14:42
Speaker 3: I knew that she knew, and I held on to
14:46
Speaker 3: that knowing and now everybody's talking about I got content
14:49
Speaker 3: around it, and it's it's resonating with people.
14:51
Speaker 2: That's amazing.
14:52
Speaker 1: One thing I love about you know you and you
14:54
Speaker 1: know pastor Start and even Bishop, is that y'all talk
14:57
Speaker 1: about therapy or a lot, right and going to therapy
15:00
Speaker 1: Because I wonder, can you truly hear and know God
15:04
Speaker 1: if you haven't dealt with your trauma first?
15:06
Speaker 2: Or does trauma distort the message of knowing?
15:09
Speaker 3: Ooh, that's powerful. Trauma definitely distorts the message of knowing
15:15
Speaker 3: because trauma is so it's so embedded that it feels inherent.
15:22
Speaker 3: It feels real, and that's kind of like God's voice
15:25
Speaker 3: is inherent in us as well. There's this Greek word
15:30
Speaker 3: that's it's only in the Bible one time, and it
15:33
Speaker 3: literally means an organ of perception. It was translated senses,
15:36
Speaker 3: and so the Bible literally tells us that we have
15:38
Speaker 3: an organ of perception something in us, which makes sense
15:41
Speaker 3: because if God give you is to hear and eyes
15:43
Speaker 3: to see it and knows the spell, why would God
15:45
Speaker 3: not give you the ability to perceive him spiritually? Right?
15:48
Speaker 3: So the reason why trauma feels like that is because
15:52
Speaker 3: it's deep within us. And so if you don't hear
15:54
Speaker 3: from your trauma, You're right, you're gonna be like b me.
15:56
Speaker 3: You're gonna be calling worry, wisdom, you know, You're gonna
15:59
Speaker 3: be calling being in despair or discernment. So I have
16:03
Speaker 3: to clear the channel, you know, I have to clear
16:06
Speaker 3: trauma's channel, go to therapy, work it out so that
16:10
Speaker 3: I can have a level base to perceive whether or
16:13
Speaker 3: not something is the voice of God.
16:14
Speaker 4: But is trauma bad?
16:16
Speaker 3: Is all trauma bad?
16:18
Speaker 4: When we talk about trauma, we talk about it in
16:20
Speaker 4: a negative way, right, But I don't necessarily think all
16:23
Speaker 4: trauma can be bad.
16:25
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that trauma is going to happen to
16:28
Speaker 3: us all of course, so good or bad, I agree
16:31
Speaker 3: with you. I think trauma itself might be neutral. It
16:34
Speaker 3: is the effects of trauma that can have a negative
16:37
Speaker 3: impact on your life. You know, I learned a lot
16:39
Speaker 3: about some of the things that through the trauma that
16:41
Speaker 3: I experience. I learned a lot of things. But it's
16:44
Speaker 3: when those things have me and they begin to distort
16:47
Speaker 3: how I move through life. I can't trust anybody, you know.
16:50
Speaker 3: I call it discernment. You know, I am not my
16:52
Speaker 3: discernment is going off, but your discernment is going off
16:55
Speaker 3: with everybody. Everybody yours is going off. Come on, you know,
17:02
Speaker 3: at some point you're the common denominated all these these scenarios.
17:05
Speaker 3: So I don't think that trauma is inherently bad. But
17:10
Speaker 3: if it grips you and it distorts you, and it
17:12
Speaker 3: and it alters the way you move through life, then
17:14
Speaker 3: that's something you gotta address.
17:15
Speaker 2: I like what you said earlier about reframing it.
17:18
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you say, what do you sayra reframed it?
17:20
Speaker 3: So I got shot in on December twenty eighth, and
17:25
Speaker 3: every December twenty eighth. I used to like, if I
17:27
Speaker 3: would see that on the calendar, I'm like, oh man,
17:29
Speaker 3: and I will kind of get a little worried sometimes
17:31
Speaker 3: I would actually if I was planning on going out,
17:33
Speaker 3: may not want to do that or whatever. I was
17:35
Speaker 3: shifted and uh, and God dealt with me about that.
17:38
Speaker 3: He was like, you're looking at December twenty eighth as
17:41
Speaker 3: the day that you almost died. He said, I see
17:45
Speaker 3: December twenty eighth as the day that I saved you.
17:48
Speaker 3: So we're really so you have to reframe that. Either
17:50
Speaker 3: you can look at it as this day that something
17:53
Speaker 3: really terrible happened to you or something really great happened
17:56
Speaker 3: to you, and that was that was liberating. So in
17:59
Speaker 3: life we do it to reframe our circumstances. There there
18:02
Speaker 3: is a good word for everything. There's a good word
18:05
Speaker 3: for bad days. There's never a day or an experience
18:09
Speaker 3: in your life, no matter how devastating it is, that
18:12
Speaker 3: there isn't some good in it. Somewhere. There's always a
18:16
Speaker 3: silver lining, you know, for God causes all things to
18:19
Speaker 3: work together for good. Now, I'm not trying to say
18:21
Speaker 3: like like I mean, I'll be honest with that. I
18:23
Speaker 3: didn't feel that way when I was driving Sarah to
18:24
Speaker 3: the hospital, you know, in the middle of the night
18:26
Speaker 3: and not knowing what's going on and seeing my dog,
18:29
Speaker 3: I mean, my right hand, this this this this woman
18:32
Speaker 3: is my heart, you know, and we didn't know what
18:36
Speaker 3: it was going to be. Are you going to live?
18:38
Speaker 1: You know?
18:39
Speaker 3: Are you going to be paralyzed? Like you know? I
18:41
Speaker 3: mean she was sweating and and I've never seen her
18:44
Speaker 3: like that before. So in that moment, yeah, you're right, man,
18:47
Speaker 3: it didn't. It didn't feel good. But that's where knowing
18:50
Speaker 3: comes in. Knowing is not about what you think it's
18:54
Speaker 3: coming to a place where you know you know, and
18:58
Speaker 3: and it's stronger than believing. You know, it's stronger than hoping,
19:02
Speaker 3: it's stronger than wishing. It is a grounded confidence and belief.
19:08
Speaker 3: And sometimes that reframing will give you the creativity that
19:14
Speaker 3: you need to create the outcome you're looking for what
19:16
Speaker 3: you don't do it.
19:16
Speaker 4: I do have one question, you know, first of all,
19:18
Speaker 4: December twenty if is my son's birthday, which is crazy
19:20
Speaker 4: to see twenty two years he's twenty two years old.
19:22
Speaker 4: But I was going to ask, when do you decide
19:25
Speaker 4: what to explain to your kids and what not to
19:27
Speaker 4: when it comes to trauma, right, Because there's certain things
19:30
Speaker 4: as a father, you know, Charlomagne has four girls. I
19:32
Speaker 4: have four girls and two boys. Certain things hopefully my
19:35
Speaker 4: kids will never have to deal with, like that conversation
19:38
Speaker 4: of getting pulled over and what to say, the right
19:40
Speaker 4: thing to say.
19:40
Speaker 2: Right.
19:40
Speaker 4: My dad's retired police officer, so he told me early
19:43
Speaker 4: what to say because he's seen it from a different angle,
19:45
Speaker 4: from a different lens. I've had that conversation with my son,
19:49
Speaker 4: but he's never.
19:50
Speaker 6: Had that that that feeling.
19:52
Speaker 3: He's never had that so.
19:54
Speaker 4: But because I've told him that and I told her
19:56
Speaker 4: the things that happened to me, I told him the
19:58
Speaker 4: things that happened to his grandfather, he is concerned.
20:00
Speaker 2: He is scared that.
20:01
Speaker 4: That trauma definitely affected him. But now that I have
20:03
Speaker 4: an eleven year old in the next four years, he's
20:05
Speaker 4: going to start to drive. Do I explain him the
20:07
Speaker 4: same thing because I've seen that kind of trauma affected
20:09
Speaker 4: my twenty two year old. Or do I say, let
20:11
Speaker 4: him kind of understand on his own. So what do
20:14
Speaker 4: you decide?
20:14
Speaker 2: What you explain it?
20:15
Speaker 1: Now?
20:15
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think. I don't think it's there's one answer,
20:18
Speaker 3: because every every child is different, and every season of
20:21
Speaker 3: their lives that they're getting ready to walk into is different.
20:24
Speaker 3: I think that we need to be so engaged with
20:27
Speaker 3: our children, so uh so connected, so tapped in. You know,
20:31
Speaker 3: I get you know, I get in the car and
20:33
Speaker 3: what and and sometimes you want to tell the child,
20:36
Speaker 3: you know, about your day and you would ask him,
20:38
Speaker 3: but I'm starting to listen, like and so if I
20:42
Speaker 3: listen or really like, what what moves you? And go
20:45
Speaker 3: down there? And you know Ella might want it. Well,
20:47
Speaker 3: we ain't doing that trampoline, No, more. But but she
20:49
Speaker 3: used to want to play the train. I'm gonna uproot
20:54
Speaker 3: that whole thing in the backyard.
20:55
Speaker 2: But that's perfect.
20:56
Speaker 4: That's a perfect example, that situation because your daughter loves
21:01
Speaker 4: the trampoline, but your wife got injured. So do you say,
21:03
Speaker 4: now I'm taking that bat of it because that's trauma.
21:07
Speaker 2: Trauma from what she saw.
21:08
Speaker 3: You know she is so So I think that the
21:10
Speaker 3: point I'm making is building a relationship with the individual
21:16
Speaker 3: child to where you can sense where they are. Because
21:19
Speaker 3: of your sense where they are, you can tell what
21:21
Speaker 3: they can handle. So like, even with that scenario, I
21:23
Speaker 3: don't think I mean, it's sitting there already called somebody
21:25
Speaker 3: I want to dug up, you know. I think we're
21:28
Speaker 3: gonna make a jans that I want to make a
21:30
Speaker 3: guard now. I think I'm gonna make a garden out
21:31
Speaker 3: of something. This is gonna it's gone one way or another.
21:34
Speaker 3: But I think every child is different, and I think
21:37
Speaker 3: that knowing them will help you to know what to
21:40
Speaker 3: say and when. Man, it's hard, but.
21:42
Speaker 4: See that that's the perfect example. Right, So let's say
21:45
Speaker 4: something would have happened in the pool to give it
21:46
Speaker 4: to the pool.
21:47
Speaker 3: Maybe, you know, let's say, but maybe you know.
21:52
Speaker 4: But that's my point because it's a different trauma. Yeah
21:55
Speaker 4: it did happen, but that might be one in a zillion.
21:58
Speaker 4: There's a million one kids that enjoy. So what do
22:00
Speaker 4: you decide they say I'm gonna be overprotected, to say,
22:02
Speaker 4: f that I'm taking it all out, or you know,
22:04
Speaker 4: what things happen, let's see how we can prevent it
22:07
Speaker 4: from happening like that. Again, I think it depends on
22:09
Speaker 4: what it is.
22:09
Speaker 3: Now, the trampoline, if you do research on trampoline, and
22:13
Speaker 3: I know I would have never installed that thing if
22:15
Speaker 3: I'd have known that. So so I think the pool
22:18
Speaker 3: is different. You know, pool you can protect it, you know,
22:19
Speaker 3: but the trampoline is different. But again I think it's
22:22
Speaker 3: I think it's case by case. I think it's case
22:24
Speaker 3: by case. I think it's knowing your child. And then
22:26
Speaker 3: it's also about making sure that your trauma isn't informing
22:30
Speaker 3: or putting too much weight on the conversation.
22:33
Speaker 2: See, this is also how trauma works.
22:35
Speaker 1: Now, I'm like, damn, I used to go in the
22:37
Speaker 1: backyard and let the kids go on to the trampoline.
22:39
Speaker 2: I'll be reading the book and not paying no attention
22:41
Speaker 2: because I know that they're in closed. They just jumping.
22:42
Speaker 1: Now I'm gonna be paying extra attention. They didn't want
22:45
Speaker 1: to trampoline. But I don't even know what to look
22:46
Speaker 1: for when they jump too high.
22:48
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it could be anything.
22:50
Speaker 4: It could be the way that they fall, like I
22:51
Speaker 4: do one at a time, right, because my kids like
22:53
Speaker 4: to jump and make another kid jump high on.
22:55
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I'm like that, how do we.
22:57
Speaker 3: Find a new hobby? Hard to take it? You know,
23:05
Speaker 3: I know it's it's hard that that thing. I mean again,
23:08
Speaker 3: the research says the lead of traveling is alone, like
23:11
Speaker 3: it just is what it is. The pool, all right, Well,
23:14
Speaker 3: you know we can keep the pool, but traveling gotta go.
23:16
Speaker 1: When you got shot with that the first time, you
23:18
Speaker 1: can remember having to be still in knowing God.
23:25
Speaker 3: Wow, I can't say that was the first time. But
23:28
Speaker 3: I thought I was I thought I was gonna die
23:30
Speaker 3: and I literally, uh yeah, I think you're Actually I
23:33
Speaker 3: think you raised a good question because I had confidence
23:37
Speaker 3: when when when I when I got shot, you know,
23:39
Speaker 3: I prayed, you know, because you know that was in
23:42
Speaker 3: the eighties, and and all of the ingredients for me
23:45
Speaker 3: not being here was there. Young black boy in South
23:48
Speaker 3: Central l a guns and shot. You're supposed to be gone.
23:52
Speaker 3: But I remember like getting to the hospital, Martin Luther
23:56
Speaker 3: King Junior Hospital. I used to call it Killer King
23:58
Speaker 3: back in the day. That's when I knew I was
23:59
Speaker 3: going to you know, it was you know, Killer King.
24:02
Speaker 3: But anyway, but in the hospital, in the emergency room,
24:06
Speaker 3: my mom was there and I remember looking up to
24:08
Speaker 3: looking at her and saying, Hey, Mom, don't worry if
24:11
Speaker 3: I die, I'm going to heaven. So I had a knowing.
24:14
Speaker 3: I had a I had a knowing that even if
24:17
Speaker 3: I didn't make it, I was settled, and that gave
24:21
Speaker 3: me peace in a moment that could have been filled
24:23
Speaker 3: with ANXI. I could have died of anxiety, but knowing
24:26
Speaker 3: grounded me instead.
24:28
Speaker 1: I just want to get to a place where I
24:29
Speaker 1: can know stillness and know God without trauma, like trauma
24:35
Speaker 1: to be still.
24:36
Speaker 3: I don't think so, I think, but but we need
24:39
Speaker 3: to know that we need God. You know, there there's
24:41
Speaker 3: a there's a humility that that we must have. I
24:48
Speaker 3: need to need God, right, That's why I kind of
24:51
Speaker 3: like it's the best position for me to be in
24:55
Speaker 3: is either in a place of need or in a
24:59
Speaker 3: very high place. And what I mean by that high
25:02
Speaker 3: place is like the higher life takes me the Lord
25:08
Speaker 3: I have to take myself because what I'm afraid of
25:11
Speaker 3: is pride. Like pride doesn't like say I'm pride. Hey,
25:15
Speaker 3: Pride feels good, it's affirming, it's validating, you know, and
25:19
Speaker 3: most of the time most of the people don't realize
25:21
Speaker 3: that they were proud until they fall off a cliff.
25:23
Speaker 3: The ground informs you that you were proud. And so
25:28
Speaker 3: those two things I need to need God. I need
25:30
Speaker 3: to have something in my path in my life. I
25:33
Speaker 3: need God right now. God heal my wife.
25:35
Speaker 2: You know.
25:36
Speaker 3: I need that because it brings out like the best,
25:39
Speaker 3: the best version of me.
25:40
Speaker 4: And I was gonna say, now, of course you're a pastor,
25:43
Speaker 4: so you're heavily into faith. Right, do you ever get
25:47
Speaker 4: a moment of being human and say question faith?
25:52
Speaker 3: Right?
25:52
Speaker 4: And the reason I say that is is we see
25:54
Speaker 4: all amazing stuff that yes, your wife does, and the
25:57
Speaker 4: mentor that she is and the amount.
25:58
Speaker 3: Of people that Eddy helps.
25:59
Speaker 4: But is there a slight second where you're driving to
26:02
Speaker 4: the hospital and you're having thoughts like is this real?
26:06
Speaker 2: Like why God did this happen?
26:08
Speaker 3: Yeah? So I don't need faith anymore to believe in God.
26:12
Speaker 3: I've seen too much. Faith is the substance of things,
26:14
Speaker 3: hope for the evidence of things not seen. So I've
26:17
Speaker 3: seen God's hand for too many years of my life.
26:19
Speaker 3: So it's never about whether or not there is a God.
26:22
Speaker 3: Where things can get tricky. Is can God deliver me
26:27
Speaker 3: out of this situation? Or can God deliver here if
26:30
Speaker 3: it's a new area in which I'm needing a deliverance.
26:34
Speaker 3: So I know you can save my life I get shot.
26:37
Speaker 3: I know you can bless and prosper I know you
26:40
Speaker 3: can protect my children all that kind of stuff, But
26:42
Speaker 3: can you heal my wife who just had this accident?
26:46
Speaker 3: So in that split second, yeah, because it's a battle,
26:49
Speaker 3: you know, because you're dealing with circumstances and your fear
26:53
Speaker 3: is there and your nervous systems are disrupted and you're
26:56
Speaker 3: not even seeing clearly, and so there's that moment. But
26:59
Speaker 3: then what I do is I got to check the record,
27:02
Speaker 3: you know, and I'm like God, I've just seen so
27:04
Speaker 3: much consistency, Like it would take faith for me not
27:08
Speaker 3: to believe that God's going to cause her to pull
27:10
Speaker 3: through or any other thing that I'm facing and so
27:12
Speaker 3: so I don't really need faith for that anymore. What
27:15
Speaker 3: I need faith for is to believe in the manifestation
27:20
Speaker 3: of everything that God has placed in my heart, like
27:22
Speaker 3: stuff that is completely different in what it's communicating than
27:28
Speaker 3: what I'm experiencing. That's what my faith comes in. Like
27:30
Speaker 3: it's when when He's saying that this is your life,
27:33
Speaker 3: this is your portion, and I haven't seen that yet.
27:36
Speaker 5: You know, it's so crazy. So I was, as, he's
27:38
Speaker 5: a greatness. Friday, I go to that I'm from Delaware.
27:40
Speaker 2: I didn't know that.
27:41
Speaker 5: Yeah, so I go to that church and PASTI Sarah
27:43
Speaker 5: spoke that she did the Girlfriend's event, right, and I
27:45
Speaker 5: was we talked about it here, like how powerful it was,
27:47
Speaker 5: and not even because she's a pastor, just like as
27:50
Speaker 5: a woman. I was like, this is what I want
27:52
Speaker 5: like platform to look like like for people that can
27:54
Speaker 5: do this. It was thousands of people there, and when
27:57
Speaker 5: she did her Q and A, she was talking about
27:59
Speaker 5: just a lot of the things she said into and
28:00
Speaker 5: things she stepped away from because of how big things
28:03
Speaker 5: have gotten, like she doesn't want to be as vulnerable
28:05
Speaker 5: because people are mean and like just all this stuff, right,
28:07
Speaker 5: And then when Pastor Rome called and told us about
28:11
Speaker 5: what happened, I was like, I was having a battle
28:14
Speaker 5: with So I guess it's knowing, But I'm like, she's
28:18
Speaker 5: talking about all these great things she's doing, everything she's
28:20
Speaker 5: stepping into and everything she's battling. Is this something that's
28:22
Speaker 5: supposed to like just like shake her faith or like?
28:25
Speaker 6: Like that was my why in questioning it?
28:27
Speaker 5: Like she has all this stuff happening and she is
28:30
Speaker 5: like we need her, and then this happens. Why did
28:34
Speaker 5: this happen?
28:34
Speaker 3: So here's I was talking to somebody about this the
28:37
Speaker 3: other night. Where I am right now in humility and
28:45
Speaker 3: focus and faith and love I wasn't at before the accident.
28:52
Speaker 3: So so let's just so there's this Passes that says
28:57
Speaker 3: counted all joys and James counted all joy When you
29:00
Speaker 3: fall into various trials, that sounds crazy. Joy and trials,
29:04
Speaker 3: how does that even mix? But the next word is knowing.
29:08
Speaker 3: It says knowing that the testing of your faith is
29:11
Speaker 3: producing endurance, producing perseverance. And then it says, and let
29:15
Speaker 3: that patience or that endurance have its perfect work, that
29:19
Speaker 3: you might be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. So the
29:23
Speaker 3: first part of that says, count it all.
29:25
Speaker 2: Joy.
29:25
Speaker 3: When you fall into various trials that will communicate you
29:28
Speaker 3: lose and you losing your health, you're losing your money,
29:31
Speaker 3: you're losing something a relationship. Right, it looks like loss,
29:34
Speaker 3: but then knowing it says count it all concerning all
29:37
Speaker 3: those things trials, knowing that the testing of your faith
29:41
Speaker 3: is producing something, and when it gets finished, you're going
29:45
Speaker 3: to be more right, that you might be perfect and complete,
29:47
Speaker 3: lacking nothing. There is no way that I would have
29:53
Speaker 3: the connection to God on this level in this moment
29:59
Speaker 3: had we not wond walk through that. And the same
30:01
Speaker 3: is true with her. Like we saw God's hand to deliver,
30:04
Speaker 3: we saw God's hand like to bring her through. So
30:08
Speaker 3: we don't know why, but we know that we're becoming
30:11
Speaker 3: more as a result of it. And when she emerges,
30:14
Speaker 3: you know, we got the conference coming up in August
30:16
Speaker 3: and Atlanta Women Evolved. I guarantee you there's going to
30:19
Speaker 3: be so much glory and power and fight of you
30:22
Speaker 3: thought that she was crazy and bananas before. When she
30:25
Speaker 3: comes out of this, she faced this giant and overcame
30:29
Speaker 3: this giant. So yeah, we questioned God, but it's that knowing,
30:34
Speaker 3: like James said, knowing that this is going to make
30:37
Speaker 3: me perfect and complete like and nothing, which means that,
30:40
Speaker 3: believe it or not, both of us must have been
30:43
Speaker 3: lacking something.
30:44
Speaker 2: Right.
30:45
Speaker 3: You look at what we've been able to do, and
30:46
Speaker 3: that's all wonderful. But God is like, yeah, that's great.
30:49
Speaker 3: Before where I'm taking you, you gotta be more so
30:52
Speaker 3: a lot of times, and I talk about that in
30:53
Speaker 3: the first chapter. You know a lot of times you
30:55
Speaker 3: got to go through that cocoon. You know, the cocoon
30:58
Speaker 3: is dark, it's difficult to challenging, it's compressed, you're deformed,
31:02
Speaker 3: You're not what you used to be. And and if
31:04
Speaker 3: the cocoon could talk, it would say, hang in there.
31:06
Speaker 3: I know you don't like it. It's temporary. But when
31:09
Speaker 3: you come out, you're gonna have wings. You used to crawl,
31:11
Speaker 3: Now you're gonna fly. Sarah will fly.
31:14
Speaker 2: Let's stay there for a minute. Right. How does knowing
31:17
Speaker 2: change the way you love people?
31:19
Speaker 3: Ooh? I think that that knowing is rooted in the
31:23
Speaker 3: fact that you are loved. The only reason why people
31:26
Speaker 3: don't love people is because they don't They don't have
31:28
Speaker 3: a consciousness of how God feels about you. When you
31:31
Speaker 3: know that God loves you. It is absolutely impossible for
31:35
Speaker 3: you to not love somebody else, like because the reason
31:38
Speaker 3: why you don't love anybody else is because maybe they've
31:39
Speaker 3: done something to you, or you have some opinion about
31:42
Speaker 3: them or what have you. But love is liberating love,
31:46
Speaker 3: you know, like when you really feel baptized in God's love,
31:49
Speaker 3: you got love to burn people you know talk crazy
31:51
Speaker 3: to you. You don't care. Look, take some of this love.
31:53
Speaker 3: You don't like me, that's all right, you can love.
31:55
Speaker 3: You'll get some love you. So, so it is the
31:58
Speaker 3: love of God that that is also a part of
32:02
Speaker 3: knowing right to God is love. God doesn't just have love,
32:07
Speaker 3: He's beyond that. God is love. So if I have
32:09
Speaker 3: a relationship, but if I truly know God, I know love,
32:13
Speaker 3: and that love flows to me and threw me to others.
32:18
Speaker 5: I saw a sit down at you when Pasta Sarah
32:20
Speaker 5: did and she asked you who was the most important
32:22
Speaker 5: person in your life?
32:23
Speaker 3: And you said yourself, you dang right, you dang right, yeah,
32:28
Speaker 3: because you know, even Jesus modeled this. You know, what's
32:31
Speaker 3: the greatest commandment? And they say, when you love the Lord,
32:33
Speaker 3: your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength,
32:35
Speaker 3: and then it says, and love your neighbor as yourself.
32:36
Speaker 3: Most people miss the sequence. They think the sequence is
32:38
Speaker 3: love God, love your neighbor, love yourself. No, that's not
32:41
Speaker 3: the sequence. He said, love your neighbor as you love yourself.
32:44
Speaker 3: So she asked who was the most important person. If
32:47
Speaker 3: she would have said who is the most important, I
32:49
Speaker 3: would have said God. But then it has to be me.
32:52
Speaker 3: I have to love me.
32:53
Speaker 2: You know.
32:54
Speaker 3: I ride motorcycles and people will be like, you know, hey,
32:56
Speaker 3: be careful on that motorcycle, you know. I said, oh,
32:57
Speaker 3: you've gotta worry about No, I love me. I'm gonna
33:00
Speaker 3: have all my get I'm gonna be careful because I
33:02
Speaker 3: do love it. And it's not selfish. Is what I
33:05
Speaker 3: talked about one of the other books I wrote. It's
33:07
Speaker 3: about being self full. So if I love me well,
33:10
Speaker 3: I love her well. And so she checked me on it.
33:12
Speaker 6: She's like you, that's the second person, second person.
33:16
Speaker 3: The second person hand down is you. But I got
33:17
Speaker 3: to love If I love me well, I'll be able
33:19
Speaker 3: to love you well.
33:20
Speaker 2: Your first, last, and best love has to be self loved.
33:22
Speaker 4: Yes, she said, you ride motorcycles, you check off for
33:26
Speaker 4: all the things because you say you give me the trampoline.
33:30
Speaker 4: Have you looked at the amount of accidents on motorcycles.
33:33
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be honest with you, Okay, So you you
33:35
Speaker 3: raise a very good point.
33:36
Speaker 4: And the reason I say that is I crashed on
33:37
Speaker 4: the motorcycle. Lady hit me on the motorcycle.
33:39
Speaker 2: I gave.
33:39
Speaker 4: I gave it up. I'll ride every once in a while,
33:41
Speaker 4: but now I got kids. Now I ain't ride no motorcycle.
33:44
Speaker 3: So you're flowing into prophetic now too. I am thinking
33:47
Speaker 3: mysell of my motorcycle collection said collection. I was into it.
33:53
Speaker 3: I was into it, and so I just kept you.
33:55
Speaker 3: You know, they do different things. But but here's why
33:58
Speaker 3: I may not. Here's why I may not. I determined
34:02
Speaker 3: when this accident first happened. I'm gonna sell the motorcycles.
34:05
Speaker 3: I may not because I don't want trauma to make
34:07
Speaker 3: the decision.
34:08
Speaker 2: Gotch.
34:08
Speaker 3: I want to be clear, and then if I'm clear
34:10
Speaker 3: and I still feel like this is the right thing
34:12
Speaker 3: to do, then I'll sell them.
34:13
Speaker 4: I wasn't mature enough when when I had my motorcycle,
34:15
Speaker 4: I was nineteen twenty twenty. I just wasn't mature enough.
34:19
Speaker 4: I was the dumb one that's riding in between lanes.
34:21
Speaker 4: I was that guy, but now I could because I'm
34:24
Speaker 4: a lot mature, ain't doing it.
34:25
Speaker 3: But I just wasn't mature. And then you get like
34:27
Speaker 3: a cruise or something like that, get a holly and
34:28
Speaker 3: you know, just relax.
34:29
Speaker 2: Yeah, just said to protect yourself. So I'm sure you
34:31
Speaker 2: got your whole arm of God. You got.
34:36
Speaker 3: Right it all I do and I love riding, but
34:42
Speaker 3: but no, that thing, that thing shook me. That thing.
34:44
Speaker 3: I didn't want to do anything that could break anything.
34:47
Speaker 3: Which but we'll see once once, once my trauma subsides,
34:50
Speaker 3: I'll see if I still want to sell it.
34:52
Speaker 1: Okay, I only got a couple of questions from because
34:54
Speaker 1: I know I can talk to Pattory all day, but
34:56
Speaker 1: I just want to you talk about the love of self?
34:59
Speaker 2: Right?
35:00
Speaker 1: Can you ever fully know yourself in isolation? Or do
35:02
Speaker 1: you have to have relationships to reveal who you really are?
35:05
Speaker 3: Oh? Both both. You have to be still to really tap.
35:11
Speaker 3: It's almost like meditating where you get still when you
35:12
Speaker 3: start feeling what's going on in your body. You have
35:15
Speaker 3: to do that same thing with your soul. But but
35:18
Speaker 3: relationships are perfect mirrors like my wife and my children,
35:24
Speaker 3: because of their proximity to me, have taught me more
35:27
Speaker 3: about me than anybody else. You do need someone. There's
35:31
Speaker 3: his pass as that says every man's ways is clean
35:35
Speaker 3: in his own eyes. So we have an unlimited capacity
35:41
Speaker 3: for self justification.
35:43
Speaker 2: Right.
35:43
Speaker 3: But when you have somebody around you, not anybody, and
35:47
Speaker 3: forget about the haters, you know, but people who love
35:50
Speaker 3: you and that really want for you, that can see you,
35:52
Speaker 3: and you've given them permission to kind of tell you
35:55
Speaker 3: what they see, you know, that's a blessing. It's nothing
35:57
Speaker 3: for me to ask sayah, hey baby, how much showing
36:00
Speaker 3: up right now? You know? Or what I used to
36:02
Speaker 3: do and I haven't done a while. I think it's
36:04
Speaker 3: time for me to do it. But I used to
36:05
Speaker 3: sit the kids down and we would sit around the
36:08
Speaker 3: table and I say, hey, what can I do better
36:10
Speaker 3: as a father? And we used to do that like
36:12
Speaker 3: every every six months or so. And I was like,
36:14
Speaker 3: and look, you ain't go get in trouble, like this
36:16
Speaker 3: is your time to tell me how I can show
36:18
Speaker 3: up differently. And they would have feedback and it would
36:21
Speaker 3: help me. But I always, hey, sir, how am I
36:23
Speaker 3: showing up? Because I think I'm focused, I'm locked in
36:25
Speaker 3: on what I'm doing. I think I'm doing. Okay, No
36:27
Speaker 3: one chooses to be an idiot, you know what I mean.
36:30
Speaker 3: So you have someone in your life that you say, like, how.
36:32
Speaker 2: Am I showing up like that? That's a great idea.
36:35
Speaker 5: Oh well, I was going to ask this about relationships too,
36:37
Speaker 5: when it comes to relationships and marriage. In a marriage,
36:40
Speaker 5: what do you think people confuse most when they have
36:43
Speaker 5: this equally yoked conversation about knowing but also the whole,
36:47
Speaker 5: like you can lose your identity as well.
36:50
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I think it's important two haves on
36:54
Speaker 3: make a whole. You've heard that that said before. And
36:57
Speaker 3: and you know, my wife and I was very important
37:00
Speaker 3: for both of us that we remain equal you know,
37:05
Speaker 3: no one is higher than the other anything like that,
37:07
Speaker 3: but also separate. And we had to really fight for
37:10
Speaker 3: that because because people do lump us together, you know
37:13
Speaker 3: what I mean. Like and honestly, you know, Sarah is
37:16
Speaker 3: more popular than me, right, So like when she came
37:19
Speaker 3: to La fifteen twenty fourteen, thirteen years ago, whenever it
37:24
Speaker 3: was she was my wife, she wasn't. She was my
37:28
Speaker 3: wife and bishop's daughter.
37:29
Speaker 5: That's how I met her when she was there.
37:31
Speaker 3: Yeah, she was my wife.
37:32
Speaker 2: That's so.
37:32
Speaker 3: That's so people, Oh this is Pet's wife. You know,
37:34
Speaker 3: it's special Jake's daughter or whatever.
37:36
Speaker 6: Over time I became her husband, and.
37:47
Speaker 3: So I think as challenging as it was for her
37:52
Speaker 3: to break out of this identity of being my husband
37:55
Speaker 3: and even our incredible father's daughter, you know, later on
37:58
Speaker 3: I had to do the same thing because I can't like, like,
38:01
Speaker 3: I enjoy being her husband, but I'm I'm also a
38:04
Speaker 3: whole lot more than that. I was more before I
38:07
Speaker 3: became her husband. So I think it's important for us to,
38:10
Speaker 3: to your point, be true to who we are.
38:13
Speaker 2: Don't.
38:13
Speaker 3: Let's not mix it all together. Yeah we are a
38:15
Speaker 3: power couple. Yeah I am her husband. Yes she is
38:17
Speaker 3: my wife. But she's also Sarah, and I'm also tore
38:20
Speaker 3: and and we both have unique offerings. And the beautiful
38:24
Speaker 3: thing is when we merge those two together, it's bananas.
38:27
Speaker 2: I agree. What's the danger of thinking you've already arrived at.
38:32
Speaker 3: Because that's that's the most ridiculous thing that you can
38:35
Speaker 3: if you're still breathing. First of all, let me tell
38:37
Speaker 3: you something. It's not even about pride. It's it's it's deformity.
38:42
Speaker 3: To to wake up in a moment in your life
38:44
Speaker 3: and and believe that you will arrived. Means that you
38:46
Speaker 3: no longer have any space for what God might want
38:49
Speaker 3: to do next. Like we're still evolving, we're still unfolding.
38:53
Speaker 3: Like if you're if you're breathing air right now, you
38:56
Speaker 3: haven't even hit your highest plateau. You know, Bishop Bishop
38:59
Speaker 3: retired from the church, but he is more amazing now
39:02
Speaker 3: than he was back then. You know, he's moving in podcasts,
39:05
Speaker 3: he's moving in new circles and all these different things.
39:07
Speaker 3: And so I think that beyond the the arrogance of it,
39:11
Speaker 3: it's limiting you. You haven't a RB and you ought
39:13
Speaker 3: to be happy. You haven't arrived. That means you got
39:15
Speaker 3: space to grow new things, to experience new new ways
39:18
Speaker 3: of being and becoming.
39:21
Speaker 2: Listen, I could talk to Pathtory all day.
39:25
Speaker 4: Right now, knowing we appreciate you for joining us.
39:28
Speaker 2: Brother.
39:31
Speaker 1: I say, this is a very powerful book, though, but
39:32
Speaker 1: I will tell people, you know, a lot of people
39:35
Speaker 1: are afraid of knowing themselves because it comes with responsibility
39:39
Speaker 1: to change.
39:40
Speaker 2: And I think that's what this book is going to
39:42
Speaker 2: force people to have to do.
39:43
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, And I think you know, we are in
39:46
Speaker 3: uncertain times, like and we weren't designed for all this unpredictability.
39:51
Speaker 3: We have to get grounded and I think this book
39:52
Speaker 3: is going to do that. But I would love to
39:54
Speaker 3: pray and then, and first of all, congratulations on everything
39:57
Speaker 3: that's happening in all of your lives. Just this new book,
40:01
Speaker 3: you know, new deals, new flow, new everything. I just
40:04
Speaker 3: I'm really excited about the hand of God. And like
40:07
Speaker 3: we talked about before, I think that you guys are
40:09
Speaker 3: part of this new wave that God is gonna really
40:12
Speaker 3: in the backdrop of all this chaos, He's just going
40:15
Speaker 3: to continue to elevate you guys because of who you
40:17
Speaker 3: are and what you do. So God, I thank you
40:19
Speaker 3: Lord for this opportunity to be on the Breakfast Club.
40:21
Speaker 3: And I thank you God for these your servants. Bless them. God,
40:25
Speaker 3: bless them collectively, but then also bless them individually, their families,
40:29
Speaker 3: their lives, their businesses. Give them wisdom and strategy, give
40:32
Speaker 3: them a deep knowing where they might be wondering and
40:37
Speaker 3: ultimately wandering. Give them clarity so that they can start
40:40
Speaker 3: flowing in their knowing. We thank you, We love you.
40:42
Speaker 3: Blessed Sarah. We pray for her right now, that you
40:44
Speaker 3: would comfort her, strengthen her, build her up. God, and
40:47
Speaker 3: I thank you that she's coming back stronger than ever before.
40:49
Speaker 3: In Jesus' name. Amen.
40:54
Speaker 4: It's the Breakfast Club, Good morning, every.
40:58
Speaker 5: Day a week.
41:00
Speaker 2: The Breakfast Club You're finish for y'all, dumb
41:04
Speaker 3: H