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The memory loss you may experience in a toxic relationship · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on beautiful people?
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  Welcome to another episode of the narcissist Code.
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  I'm your favorite self aware narcissist.
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  Mr. Lee Hammock better known as mental illness across all social
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  media platforms. This your first time seeing my
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  face. I hear my lovely voice.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and I use my platform
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  on social media to raise awareness for NPD, get more
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  people into therapy like myself and also validate the victims,
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  survivors and thrivers of said disorder, said Toxic people said
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  toxic tricks. Today's episode is going to be
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  about the memory loss or possible memory loss that
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  happens during or after a toxic relationship with a narcissistic
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  person, a highly narcissistic toxic person.
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  I know a lot of people are going to resonate with this episode
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  right here because it is a doozy.
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  You know it is Doo is doozy fool.
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  You know, when you're dealing with narcissistic people, I
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  don't think, Not only can narcissistic relationships
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  damage your physical health, we are.
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  A lot of people know that they can actually make you sick from
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  being in these relationships. Yeah, stress doesn't only just
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  make you physically sick, you know, gives you headaches and
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  things like that. It can actually lead to you have
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  a memory. Like it can mess with your
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  memory. Yeah.
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  Yeah. Think about this right here.
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  I need y'all to feel me on this right here.
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  Feel me on this right here. This relationship could damn
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  near be UN alive in you. It could be taking your life.
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  It could be killing you. You see what I'm saying?
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  Absolutely could and you. It can cause memory loss.
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  You know, being in a highly stressful, highly toxic
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  relationship where you are very rarely at a, at A at a state of
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  peace where you very rarely experience peace, it can
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  absolutely destroy your memory, You know what I mean?
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  You sit here and you be like, you know what?
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  I don't remember that. I don't remember you saying
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  that. So when your memory, when you
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  start actually having a bad memory, being in these
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  relationships, or being gas lit so much when they have you
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  questioning your reality. I didn't say that.
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  I didn't do that. You misremember it.
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  You don't remember that. We both know your memory's not.
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  We both know your memory's not the best.
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  So when you're dealing with situations like that and your
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  memory, your mind is actually becoming like you actually start
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  having symptoms of memory loss. The gas lighting can get way
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  worse, way worse. The gas lighting can and will be
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  horrendous when you actually start having memory loss because
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  you really truly don't remember. The lying will get worse.
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  The manipulation will get worse. And guess what?
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  The narcissist does not care because your your loss of memory
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  typically typically can be used against you.
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  It can be beneficial to them. They use your they use your
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  impediments and the things that hurt you, the things that they
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  use, your insecurities and your impediments against you.
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  So if you have an insecurity about you, if you have an
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  impediment or an insecurity about yourself or you, you know
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  your you actually have a bad memory.
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  They'll say that you actually have a mental illness.
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  They'll say they'll use it if they're going to use, if they
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  use your borderline against you, your narcissism against you,
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  your antisocial, your dissociative identity, whatever
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  they use them again, they will use anything against you.
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  Your bipolar, ADHD, you know, they use your autism.
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  They use that against you already anyway, So if you have a
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  bad memory, they're going to just, yeah, they're going to
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  destroy your life. So even when you get out of a
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  toxic relationship, you just might not remember how bad it
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  was. So imagine that right there, you
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  stayed in a relationship with somebody that you because you
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  you thought you loved it. Maybe you did, maybe you did
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  love them at first, but then love went away.
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  You stayed in this relationship with this person who was
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  literally destroying you for love, the chance at love.
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  I know people and that's what people tend to start to kind of
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  attack me right here. Well, Lee, you are narcissist.
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  You don't understand the yo. I do understand the dynamic.
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  I do understand. I just don't understand why
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  people don't think I understand love.
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  That's like, what are you talking about?
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  You know? But that happens.
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  Y'all. A lot of narcissistic people
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  experience this dynamic. They experience this kind of
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  phenomenon and it it absolutely does occur.
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  Or they're like when you lose your memory and it's just like,
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  it's not just your memory. Y'all, like I said, emotional
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  abuse can absolutely cause memory loss.
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  You know what I'm saying? In sometimes it's like, and I've
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  read in an article, it's like memory loss is like a survival
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  skill. It's like your mind blacks stuff
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  out on purpose. It's like you when you are in a
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  traumatic situation. It's like your mind is
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  protecting you by not remembering it, by not storing
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  this memory where you can easily access it in.
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  So sometimes you absolutely will forget.
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  And that's why, like, triggers are so bad.
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  When you get out of a touch relationship or while you're
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  still in it, or you still in it with a narcissist, like triggers
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  are actually so bad because you don't remember a lot of stuff.
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  And then when you see something that triggers you, it just
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  brings it back. It's like it unlocks that
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  storage, Unlocks that storage case where your mind put it at
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  to forget it to protect you. It got so bad.
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  Yeah, think about that. It got so bad that your mind had
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  to protect you from it. It got so bad.
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  And if you're listening to this and you don't have memory loss
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  yet, imagine you giving them your memory for this person that
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  is giving you less than a bare minimum of love, care and
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  respect. Imagine that.
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  Y'all. Come on now.
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  Come on, man, they say Boosie, That Boosie sound.
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  Come on, man. Come on, man.
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  But you see that space right there.
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  That's why I'm just telling people.
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  I'm telling people in this unique situation, they're like,
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  you are sacrificing so much. You're sacrificing memories with
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  your kids, your memories with your family members.
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  You're sacrificing all of that for this person.
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  Why? Why?
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  I need to know why. You don't have to tell me why.
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  Because I don't need to know it. You need to know why.
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  Because I I mean, knowing it. You know?
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  Could they help me? Could they possibly help me help
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  more people? Yeah.
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  But you need to know why. Why you willing to sacrifice
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  your memory for this person? I don't know.
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  He's just love. All right, love.
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  And yeah, I think once you get to the point where you realize
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  that love is not enough, I feel like it helps.
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  It can help you out right there. You know what I mean?
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  Because it absolutely can. It just just one of those
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  things. And it's like long.
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  Somebody even did an article on Psych Central and the title of
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  it is Long term narcissistic abuse Can Cause Brain damage.
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  The effects of psychological and narcissistic abuse come with
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  many devastating consequences. But there are two that almost no
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  one about this, they're no no one knows about unless they're a
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  doctor or a neuroscientist. I think somebody, I think
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  somebody who's not. I don't know who wrote this, but
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  yeah, CPTSD in memory loss, like memory loss, Y'all.
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  And like I said, sometimes memory loss is a trauma defense.
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  Imagine that your brain is trying to guard you against this
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  person. Like, you know, sometimes it's
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  not just in a relationship as a relationship partner.
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  So let me stop right there. So it's because all of Y'all are
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  not dealing with narcissists in relationships.
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  Some of y'all have good healthy partners, but your parents are
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  not, Your boss is not, your siblings are not, your friends
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  are not. Do you see what I'm saying?
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  Some of y'all are in different circumstances.
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  So the memory loss is not just from being in a toxic
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  relationship with a narcissist like your spouse, partner you
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  know and get your fiance. Whatever memory loss can be
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  because can come from your parents as well.
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  It can become dealing with a toxic narcissistic household
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  where your memories, your mind is protecting you because you're
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  a kid. Your mind is defending you
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  because you're a kid, your child.
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  You can't control it. You can't defend yourself
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  against grown adults. So your mind is doing it for
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  you. Your mind is taking you.
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  You see what I'm saying? Your mind is taking you to a
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  different place. The magic.
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  The magic school bus. You can get on the magic school
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  bus of narcissism because it takes you away.
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  It makes you feel safe. It protects you.
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  Your mind is there to protect you.
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  That's why I said it is memory loss like your mind.
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  It can be a defense mechanism for your mind.
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  But I say again, it can also be a trauma response.
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  Like your mind is just being destroyed from emotional abuse,
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  from gaslighting, from never knowing the truth of the matter,
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  from feeling like you're crazy. And guess what?
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  At the end of the day, the day, the day, the end of the day,
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  that narcissistic person doesn't care.
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  I know that hurts a lot of people's feelings, but what do
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  you mean they don't care? Lee.
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  Yeah, they still you can tell them that you have a headache
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  from arguing so much that your memory is shot because of them
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  in gas. You can tell them this and
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  they'll blame you. They'll put it on you.
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  They just will. That's one of the things that
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  they will absolutely put it on to you.
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  Because you're with me. You don't have to be with me.
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  You don't have to be here, right?
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  You know nobody's holding you hostage here, right?
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  But some of them, some of them, some of them are.
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  But they'll tell you that they're not holding you hostage,
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  you know. Do you remember do you Remember
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  Me telling you that? That you were hostage here now?
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  You said. I thought playing drugs would
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  you remember right there, like you don't you don't have you
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  have a bad memory. Let's just let's just trust my
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  memory. You mean you we you forget
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  you're so forgetful. Let's just trust my neighbor.
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  Let make sure you write it down. You know make sure you write
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  this type of stuff down. You have to be careful.
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  Y'all you just have to it's in this space right here where you
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  have to be careful. You have to protect your piece.
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  You have to protect yourself. You know because that brain
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  damage. I don't know if I don't know if
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  you can fix it. I I can look look at some of
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  these articles. I don't know if you can fix it.
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  I think once you, I mean, I think your memory can come back,
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  you know what I'm saying? I think your memory can come
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  back later on. Maybe just do some research on
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  that right there. I'm I'm not a scientist and I
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  saw the term abuse amnesia popped up.
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  Y'all it's like the abuse amnesia was like your mind
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  protects you sometimes, you know that can that can be that as
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  well. So your mind is already out
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  there trying to defend you. Y'all because your mind
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  understands that you're in a toxic relationship with a toxic,
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  narcissistic, abusive person. Your mind is understanding that
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  it's up, down, up to the rest of you got to catch up.
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  You know, the rest of you has to catch up.
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  Your mind gets it. The rest of you is lacking.
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  You know what I mean? Like I say, you, you have to
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  protect yourself. Yeah.
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  Yeah. And when you get out of it.
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  That's why I talked to plenty of people who, when they got out of
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  it, their their memories started to come back.
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  Like because you feel safe when you're in a safe place.
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  When you're in a safe spot. Do you know what I mean?
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  You don't. If you feel better, you're
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  healthy. Your body has a chance to heal.
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  You can't heal in the same environment it makes you sick.
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  Y'all. That's why writing things down
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  and recording situations can help guard you against this
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  memory loss sometimes. Because like they can't gaslight
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  you if you have a you know they can't gaslight you if you have,
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  they cannot gaslight you. If you have proof, the proof is
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  not for them, the proof is for you.
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  They can't like your your diary, your journal or yo-yo whatever
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  you recording this on like that's for you.
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  That's not for them because you can show it to them and they'll
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  just get angry at you and just say dude, your memory is so bad
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  you got to record me. They're not in it to help.
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  They're not in it to have a healthy relationship.
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  Now they want to harm you, you know you something like they
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  want to harm you there. This is not your partner.
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  This is your enemy. Your enemy does not care about
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  your memory. They want you to forget.
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  They want you to forgive and forget.
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  They want you to not remember. They want you to misremember.
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  They want to call you crazy. They want to make you feel
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  crazy. They want to gaslight you
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  because it's fun. You see what I'm saying?
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  They want to get you to believe a big huge lie because it's fun
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  for them sometimes to get away with the type of stuff.
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  It just is one of those things. Y'all being with y'all Thank
• 11:12
  y'all tuned into another episode.
• 11:15
  Look what's coming out soon. My kids book.
• 11:18
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• 11:21
  next couple days. Make sure you join my newsletter
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• 11:26
  it's crispy. Look at the little boy who's
• 11:28
  watching his parents argue. There you go, y'all it was y'all
• 11:31
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• 11:34
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• 11:36
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• 11:47
  Thank you so much.