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EP 335: Georgia- The Two Thieves (Wardrop) · Sandman Stories Presents

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Welcome back listeners to Sandman's Stories Presents, a
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folklore podcast where I read you to sleep or until the next
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story. I'm your host, Dustin.
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And if you want more Sandman, I'm available at Sandman After
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Dark on Patreon where I post things that are too spicy for
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the main feed, be it stories, poems, writings, anything.
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And a big thank you to FZA, Michael and Lady Lavender for
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signing up. Today.
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We are back in the book of Georgian folklore written down
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by Marjorie Wardrobe. This story has elements of the
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Bengali story told in episodes three O 9 and 320.
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I had to break the story into two pieces.
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And in the story we have a thief that is just too wise for the
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king. Hold on to your drawers.
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OK, let's begin. The two thieves.
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There once was a thief called Big Thief, and as you can guess
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he was rather large. Now one day Big Thief went into
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town to steal whatever wasn't nailed down.
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When he walked a little way, he made a stranger.
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Good day stranger, May God be with you, they said to one
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another. Who are you and what is your
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trade? Asked the big chief.
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My trade is stealing and my name is Little thief, said the
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stranger. I too am a thief, so let's join
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together and rob the people blind.
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He agreed and they became partners.
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They went on the road to steal. On the way, the big thief said
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to the little thief, show me how good of a thief you are.
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But the latter said, You are the big thief, you show me yours
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first, how can I compare with you?
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The big thief agreed. Just at that moment, they saw a
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pigeon sitting on a plane tree. The big thief said, now watch me
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pull out the tail feathers of that pigeon on the Sycamore tree
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without it knowing it. Having said this, he went up the
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tree. When he was about halfway up,
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the little thief silently snuck under the Sycamore tree, climbed
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up, and while the big thief was pulling out the tail feathers of
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the pigeon, the little thief took off his companion's drawers
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and promptly climbed down the tree.
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When the big thief came down and proudly showed him the pigeon's
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tail, little thief thrust into his hand his pocket and showed
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him the drawers. When the big thief saw this, he
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was struck in amazement and said, I am well known and
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famous, but I think you are just as skilled as me.
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They had tested each other's skill and so they continued on.
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Along the way. The little thief asked the big
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thief, what should we steal tonight?
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Let us go tonight and break into the King's treasury, said the
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big thief. Sounds like a plan, Greedy's
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comrade. And they set out in the town
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after nightfall, when the shuffling of people's feet has
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ceased, the thieves took 2 bags and went to break into the
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King's treasury. Little thief said, you climb up
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into the treasury and gather the money, and I will fill up the
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bags, then we can pick them up and make our getaway.
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The big thief did not agree. No, he said, you are smaller,
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you go inside and I will stay here.
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He insisted until the little thief gave in.
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Finally the little thief climbed in and collected the money.
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Big thief stayed outside and filled the bags.
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When the 2 bags were full, he made the sign.
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Then the little thief came out of the treasury and they took
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the bags and went home. The next morning the king went
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into his treasury. He looked in and saw what had
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happened. He called his counsel together
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and he made his complaint. They planned and planned, and at
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last they thought of the following scheme.
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They took a big barrel, filled it with pitch and placed it at
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the entrance of the treasury. The thieves knew nothing of
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this. When night came again, they were
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turned to steal again. Little thief said.
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Yesterday I went to the treasury.
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Today it's your turn. I will keep watch for you.
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The big thief agreed. He went into the treasury and
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suddenly he was stuck. The little thief pulled hard,
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but it was of no use. Only his head was visible.
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He was stuck up to his neck in pitch.
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When day dawned, the little thief tried once more to pull
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his friend out, but his head popped off.
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Then the little thief hit it in a place where no one could
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possibly find it. He went home and told his late
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friend's widow. He warned her to be very careful
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not to go out because anyone caring about the dead thief
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would immediately be seized and killed.
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When day dawned, the council told the king, A thief is caught
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in the trap, but he has no head. The king went himself and saw
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that in truth the thief had no head, and he was amazed.
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How could a headless man steal? Then he commanded them, saying,
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Take his body and put it in the marketplace with soldiers to
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guard it. Whoever passes by and cries will
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be guilty, because it is a sign of a pity for the thief.
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Bring them to me immediately. When Little Thief heard this, he
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went home and told Big Thief's wife how to act.
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Take care not to go out, lest they discover you.
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And he told her of the King's order.
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The Big Thief's wife couldn't bear it, and begged her to let
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him go, saying, I will stay away and weep quietly, no one will
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recognize me. Very well, but be careful.
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Take a jug of water with you like you were carrying water,
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and when you get near your husband's body, stub your foot
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against a stone and break the jar.
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Then sit down and cry for the broken pitcher.
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The woman did exactly as she was told.
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She took the jar on her shoulder and went to get water.
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When she came to the place where her husband's body was lying,
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she struck her foot on the stone and let the jar fall, and it
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broke. Then she sat down by the
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fragments and began to weep bitterly, apparently for the
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pitcher, but really for her husband.
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When she had wailed enough, she rose and walked away.
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The soldiers were amazed. What a miserable woman.
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She cried like that for a broken pitcher.
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Night came. The soldiers returned to the
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palace with the body of the thief and they said to the king.
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We saw no one crying except for one woman who hit her foot on a
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stone and broke her water jar and then she cried bitterly.
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The king was very angry because he saw the trick that the woman
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had played. He was enraged because they
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hadn't seized her and brought her to him, but instead let her
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escape. Then the king ordered that the
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soldiers heads be shaved bald. After this ruse failed, the king
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thought of another. He sent the thief's corpse out
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of town and laid it next to the city wall.
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Perhaps the right person would see it and come up and steal it.
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Soldiers were posted and told that if anyone came to steal the
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corpse that they should seize them and bring them to the king.
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On hearing this news, little Thief drove an ass before him
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into a neighboring village. There he had some cakes baked
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and turkeys roasted, and put them in a saddlebag and hung it
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on the ass. Then he bought some of the best
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wine and went on his way. He went to where the soldiers
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were posted and cried out. Anyone want a guest?
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I've come from afar and must stay here tonight because I feel
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that someone may steal my ass. Let's have a good supper.
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The mention of a supper delighted the soldiers.
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They sat down and began to eat. Little thief poured out wine for
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them. The soldiers drank, but the
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thief did not drink a drop. Then they'd eaten.
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Well, he said to them, I'm going to sleep since I am sleepy.
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You watch my ass and see that no one steals him.
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If you lose him, I'll tell the king.
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Settle down and get some rest. Your ass is not so attractive
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that you need to worry about him, said the soldiers.
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Little thief laid down and pretended to go to sleep, but he
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kept a sharp lookout. A short time afterward the
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soldiers lay in a deep sleep, and they slept as if they were
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dead. Then the little thief got up and
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lifted the body of his late companion onto his back.
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He brought his ass around and put the corpse on it and turned
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its head towards home. Then he laid back down for a
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deep sleep. The ass knew its way home.
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He lowered its head as if he was meditating and went straight
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home and knocked at the door. Big Thief's wife came out and
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took the body, and she put it on the couch and wept.
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Then when her heart was solaced by tears, she buried him under
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the earth under the couch. When morning came, the soldiers
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awoke and roused their fake friend.
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Little Thief looked around and called for his ass.
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When he saw it was gone, he made a fearful howl.
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I will go to the king and blame you.
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The soldiers were terrified. They had completely lost their
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heads. When they saw that the corpse
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was gone, they drew money from their pockets and offered it to
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silence their noisy friend. This was just what he wanted.
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Not only had he stolen the body, but he got some money too.
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The soldiers went to the king. When he heard their tale, he was
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extremely irritated and ordered their beards to be cut off.
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This new plan failed, so I thought of another one.
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A street was strewn with money, and soldiers were placed here
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and there and ordered to arrest any passerby who gathered up the
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money, for he would be the thief's companion.
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Little thief heard this news with great joy.
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He got a pair of boots, tarred and studded, and went out with
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them under his arm. When he came to the street that
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was covered with money, he sat down, took off his boots, and
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put on the tarred boots. Then he walked along the street
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singing a song. When he got to the end of the
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street, he took the money that had stuck to his boots, dug a
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hole in the ground and buried it.
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Then he walked back to the other end of the street, cleaned his
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boots again and buried the money.
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He did this the whole day long, and by evening he had picked up
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almost half of the money. The soldiers gathered up what
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was left, went to the king and said no one has been taking the
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money, but a man was walking in the street from morning until
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night. The king was enraged that they
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had not taken the man and ordered that the soldiers stand
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on their heads. Then he assembled his
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counsellors and asked their advice.
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Now the king had a deer. If they let it loose, it would
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kneel before the House of he who wronged the king.
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And so the vizier said, Let the deer go, and it will kneel in
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front of the House of the thief. The king took this advice, and
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they let the deer loose. It raced along the streets and
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fell to its knees just in front of the little thief's house.
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In the morning when little thief awoke, he looked out of his
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window and he saw the King's deer kneeling in front of his
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house. He had heard of this deer
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before, so when he saw it he knew what it meant.
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He went outside, seized hold of the deer, killed it and skinned
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it, and then he hid the skin and he kept the meat in the house.
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The king was mad with rage. When he could not find his deer,
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he assembled his viziers and told them the story of his lost
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deer. The viziers wits were at an end
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now. They could think of no other
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trap for the thief. But just then an old woman
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appeared from out of nowhere. She approached the king and
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said, What will you give me if I find the lost deer?
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Whatever you ask of me, said the king.
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Then give me my freedom. I shall not only give you your
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freedom, but I'll raise you to the rank of Princess, replied
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the King. The old woman arose and went
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forth to find the deer. She wandered until at last she
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came to the Little Thief's house.
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Little Thief was not at home and he saw Big Thief's wife.
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She said, Daughter, if you have a piece of deer's flesh, do not
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hide it from me, it will cure a sick one of his illnesses.
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The thief's wife did not know the cunning of the old woman and
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went into her house and brought out a piece of the deer's flesh.
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The old woman was overjoyed and did not stick around.
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She got up and went away. When she had gone a little way,
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she met the little thief, who said, What is that, old lady?
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A piece of deer flesh has a remedy for my trouble.
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The woman in that house gave it to me, said the Beldem.
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Little thief understood her, and he saw through her cunning, and
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said, What is the use of this morsel of meat?
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Come with me, and I can give you a whole dish full you can't eat,
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and give it to your friends. It will be of service to you.
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The old woman's head swam with pleasure.
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She turned back and went with little thief.
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When the deceitful old woman was tricked into the house, he drew
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out his sack and buried her under the couch.
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The king waited for news, but the old woman never came back.
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Some time passed, but the old woman still did not come, and
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the king was enraged. He assembled his counsellors and
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said, What is the use of all this?
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Is there no way of trapping this thief?
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The vizier said, This fellow is so brave, such a clever thief,
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that we cannot entrap him. Then the king rose up and said,
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Let the thief come to me, I shall not harm him, but shall
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give him my daughter to wife. He is so clever that I cannot
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take him by trickery. When the little thief heard
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this, he came to the king and said, I am that thief, and I've
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come to do your Majesty's will. The king could not break his
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word, so he gave him his daughter in marriage.
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A neighboring monarch heard the story every day.
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He wrote irritating letters to the thief's father-in-law.
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The king saying aren't you ashamed to have anything to do
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with a low thief to him marrying your daughter and calling him
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son-in-law. The king was very much annoyed
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at this hate mail and at last he fell I'll no longer being able
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to bear it. Then the King's son-in-law came
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to him and said, what's the matter?
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Why are you sick? His father-in-law told him
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everything and he replied, why worry yourself?
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Give me a few days and I'll show you a sight.
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On the 7th prepare a grand festival and I will be here.
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He fixed the date and then went away.
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He travelled until he came to the Kingdom of the mocking
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monarch, and he went into a house and rested.
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The next day he saw Taylor and said, I want a robe cut of
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pieces of skin. It must be of all different
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colors, and I want little bells put on it.
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When the tailor had finished the garment, the thief gave him
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money and sent him away. Then he downed the robe, took a
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glittering sword in his hand, and went to the palace.
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The porters did not want to let him in, but the thief said.
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I am Michael Gabriel, sent from God.
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I have been commanded to take the souls of your King and Queen
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to paradise. If you trouble me, I shall take
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your souls too, and I shall send them to hell.
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He moved towards them and the bells began to ring.
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The porters hearts were fearful and they hid themselves.
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The thief went into the king. When he saw the man, he became
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pale, Michael Gabriel said. I give you a term of three days.
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In these three days put all your affairs in order, appoint your
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successor, strip off everything, put yourselves in coffins and
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set the keys on the top. In three days I shall come
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again, lock the coffins and take them away with me.
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When he had said this, he went away.
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Returning to the house, he took off the robe of skins and waited
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for three days. On the third day, he clothed
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himself as before and went back to the palace.
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The King and Queen had stripped off everything and we're in the
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coffins waiting, he called out. When you get to paradise, you
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will hear a noise, then the coffins will open and your eyes
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will view a glorious scene. He took the keys, locked both
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the coffins and took them on his back and carried them out.
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He put them on his ass and went behind it and gently called.
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Yup. On the appointed day he came to
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the court of his father-in-law, who invited the whole Kingdom
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and many neighboring Princess to a great feast.
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The thief came and as he lifted the coffins off the ass,
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beautiful music was heard. The thief opened the coffins and
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the king and queen jumped out naked and began to dance.
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The people saw their stupidity and were ready to die laughing.
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Then the king came and clothed them in royal robes and said,
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now you can go back to your own country and rule your Kingdom,
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but do not mock me anymore. After this, the king very much
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loved his son-in-law, and when he died, he left him his
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Kingdom. The end.
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Well, I love the way that ended. It reminded me of the Two
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Thieves story from Bengal, but without as much rivalry.
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Still, it was so much fun I had to keep myself from giggling
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every other time the donkey is mentioned.
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I look forward to more fun like this from this book.
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And there's just two more stories and then it'll be the
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Mingrelian Tales. And the podcast shout out is to
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Plants Apology. Doctor Beliga is back talking to
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folks who love plant science, and he also tells you why
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slicing banana in half and sticking it in the ground will
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not grow you a banana. Go listen to him.
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And the listener shout out is to the borough of Chagwanas in
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Trinidad, a large growing municipality just outside of the
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capital Port of Spain. Chagwanas has a bustling market
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area, and if I'm lucky enough to go there, I'd like to try the
18:29
kachori. And so I say to my listener in
18:32
Chagwanas, I say thank you and goodnight.