Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / Know Your Purpose| a conversation with Chioma Oparadike

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Know Your Purpose| a conversation with Chioma Oparadike · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Hi friends, welcome back to the Simply Wholehearted podcast.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: It means so much to have you choose to take our conversation along with you today.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Amy Wicks, your host, and here at Simply Wholehearted, we provide simple plans for life's most creative endeavors.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: The culture around us slows us to complacency, half awake to our purpose, and more often than not, it seems as if everyone around us celebrates mediocrity.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: But we believe there is more to your story.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: Awaken your heart with extraordinary tales of the ordinary.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: Find encouragement as you discover your creative purpose, and be empowered to create your unique masterpiece in life, family, and community.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: So far, this month has been full of rich revelation for hashtag NoFailFebruary.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: And this week's conversation is another perfect guest I've been really excited to introduce you all to.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's beautiful.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: So you are in Nigeria, which for some people, we're gonna give some geography lessons.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: So Nigeria is a country in Africa.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: And Africa is the continent, but Nigeria is the country.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: Give us a little taste for those of us who've never been.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: I I was gonna go um probably about 20 years ago now.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: I think it was 20 years ago.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: I was supposed to go to Nigeria and instead our visas got denied.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because we had some friends, some pastor friends we were working with, yeah, and and they lived in Colorado Springs, and they were taking us to their home church there and you know, family and to do some work.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: But um our visas got denied, so we ended up going to Kenya and I um Kenya and Tanzania.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I never did make it to Nigeria.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: I would love to know a little bit more of the landscape, just paint a picture of what daily life and kind of the maybe middle class living would look like there.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_02: Um, thank you so much, Amy.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_02: Well, one thing for me is that Nigeria is home, it's a place that I love dearly.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I've been fortunate enough to live in other places as well, but I think my heart always comes back to Nigeria.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_02: And Nigeria is also diverse in terms of um the landscape and the people as well.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_02: So one thing people forget is that even though we're Africans or even though we're from one country, there is still differences in terms of ethnicity and tribes.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_02: So you'll still find a lot of tribes in Nigeria, so it's still like a melting point.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_02: Um yeah, so right now we are what in what we call the dry season.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_02: So we only have two seasons in Nigeria, so it's literally either the rainy season or the dry season.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_02: And the funny thing though is that it's been raining today, and today's supposed to be we're still supposed to be in the dry season, but for some reason, this January, it's it's been raining, so yeah, that is pretty weird.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but beyond that, in terms of daily life, so I live in Lagos, and Lagos is like the it's the major city in Nigeria, it's the major state as well.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_02: So in terms of financially, in terms of people, it's still the most populated.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_02: I think even in the world, it's like the top 10 populated um states in the in the world.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_02: So that is crazy.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's it's usually it reminds me of a London and a New York in terms of the business, in terms of the kind of people you meet here, because you meet people from literally everywhere in the world.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, it's home, it's amazing that we have a lot of the same um activities and amenities that you find almost anywhere in the world.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_02: So um, what you're usually used to in terms of food, we have some of the international restaurants and food places.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and we also have some really nice beaches and all the fun stuff as well.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we do.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_02: We have a lot of those.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: Share with me typical Nigerian cuisine.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so there we Nigerians love what we call the jello fries.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_02: We absolutely love it.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_02: Like you could you can't have a party and call in Nigerian party without jello fries.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: So this is uh it sounds like you're saying jello fries.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Is that what you're saying?
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_02: It's okay.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_02: It's no, it's it it's it's spelled J-O-L-L-O-F.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_02: So it's a J D-O-D-L-O-F.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_02: Um so it's called Jell Off, right?
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_02: So that's you still pronounce the F.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and it's it's well loved.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's it's a meal that you eat almost anywhere in the country.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_02: Really?
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_02: And it's just rice, rice with tomatoes.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_02: So it's it's usually in a reddish color.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_02: But it's it's amazing with a lot of pepper.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, it's so good.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_02: Now you're telling me about like I'm just thinking about it, I'm dreaming about doing it.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I get it.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm ready to have an early lunch myself.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: That sounds amazing.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it sounds good.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: But you so because it's a melting pot, you have all sorts of cuisine from around the world.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure you have your typical maybe American type stuff, but do you what kind of other influences is it?
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like French cuisine or Spanish?
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: What else?
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: You know, Asian cuisine?
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, definitely.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_02: I think I think Chinese and um Thai food is probably general, uh, or is popular almost anywhere in the world, at least in most cities.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, for me, so yeah, for sure.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_02: So give me some Patsy here, and then Italian, we have a lot of pizza places.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_02: So we have the Domino's, we have Pizza Hot, we have a few of the um the normal or well-known pizza places here as well.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_02: No kidding.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_02: We have the K, yeah, we have the KFC here as well.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_02: We have uh oh dear.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so I think it's it you would definitely find a lot of so we have Cold Stone, you definitely find a lot of the the brands that you know well when you come here, so which is the great thing?
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_02: So you don't feel like you're really out of like a fish out of water, so you still find some things that you're used to.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: So there's a ton of Western influence, and you you're familiar with that because you do travel to the US um for business and pleasure.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um so you kind of know the comparison of like, oh, I can find that in New York.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: And though, come on, you've probably found way better pizza in New York than at Pizza Hut or Domino's there.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, definitely.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_02: And I think it's the same thing here because we also have like the the well-loved pizza places that might not necessarily be like a popular brand, but then because of the authentic, so one of the things you would find is that's what the pizza brand the pizza places would have a mix of like a Nigerian cuisine with maybe an international pizza.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so there's a mix, so you find something that you normally eat in a Nigerian restaurant, and they might put that as a pizza pizza topping, which is really nice.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_02: That is not every time though, yeah.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: But oh, that's so fun.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: I totally am inspired.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I want to come just for the venture, but not just for the food, but the food sounds intriguing too.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, you would love it, absolutely.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: I would love my friends too.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: Uh you and I met at Declare, and I was just struck by your bright smile.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: It was just, you just have a radiance and a brilliance that you carry.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, thank you so much.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: It it definitely, I was just like, wow, who was and you you were super friendly, was pushing around Virginia and this driller, Virginia Hagerty, and you just introduced yourself and we started chatting.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I think we sadly, you know, a session was starting, and so you had to go in, but I knew right away, I was like, Oh, I want to get to know this girl more, and and not girl, young woman more.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and because if you threw out enough details, I was like, this is super intriguing.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: So you have been a lawyer um full-time, and you yeah, you said last week you were moving towards um being able to be part-time with that, but tell us that journey of law school and education and what it looks like to be um a female and a lawyer in Nigeria.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_02: Definitely such a pleasure to meet you, and I love babies too.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_02: I think once I saw Virginia, I knew I had to come close and I had to say hi.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so yes.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so for me, it's been an interesting journey as a lawyer.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_02: Like I remember when I when I had to decide on what I was gonna study, law was not even one of the things I had to consider because I always wanted to be a doctor, but somehow I just realized, yeah, at some point in my life that you know what, being a doctor might work for you, Chama.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_02: So um, and thankfully with my dad and some other people, we had a long conversation, and it turned out that oh, okay, maybe you could try out law and see how it works out for you.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_02: Because he said, Oh, you like, yeah, it's a funny story because I remember that day he was like, Oh, I think I was sitting in his room, and he's like, you know, you don't really like being a doctor, you just like the idea of it, but you might not actually like the work and all of that, and you don't like the side of blood.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_02: So, yes, we don't like the side of blood.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_02: So I realized that might actually work, yeah, to be a doctor if you don't actually like the side of blood.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_02: So, yeah, and I remember he told me that if you look at because I I love reading, love writing, I loved arguing apparently.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_02: So he said, Okay, do you know what?
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_02: Law might be a better yes, a law might be a better um option for you, and honestly, it's been one of my best decisions um so far because it turned out that that was the right place for me.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um, law had so one of the things I love about law is that it opens your mind and your heart, it opens your mind to the possibilities because sometimes if you might just think that things are black or white, or you might think that things are only can only go a certain way.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_02: But one of the things the law has done for me is to ask questions, is giving me an opportunity not just to ask questions, but to seek to understand, and not just understand from my own view um point of view, but to understand from where other people are coming from.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_02: And it's just amazing how God works all things out because um as a young girl, I didn't know where he was taking me with this law.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_02: I just realized I just okay, this was a great opportunity to help, to do things for people and to to be there for them.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_02: But now today I can see so much more of what he's doing with that degree and what I think he's gonna do even in the future.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_02: So it's it's been an is been an incredible opportunity to ask questions because I feel like a lot of it, especially from the country I'm coming from, where people usually just take things as they are, and not everyone is always willing to go behind or look at the history or look at the reasons um behind any particular decision, any particular law, and why things were done in certain ways.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_02: I think law has really helped me with that.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_02: Seeing the woman as well, I think it's it's even added to it because beyond anything else, one thing I'll say about a lot of African countries, especially especially Nigeria, is that gender discrimination is still a reality for us.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um, sure, it's getting better, like we're we're better than we were maybe 20, 30 years ago, but there's still a lot of those realities every day.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_02: And um, being a woman, a female lawyer, even though interesting fact, right now, I I according to statistics, yeah, I think according maybe as a few years ago, there were more law students, female law students than there were male in in the Nigerian university.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_02: So that tells you something that even though there, yeah, so there are now a lot of women going into law, but then beyond that, we're still not seeing in terms of the penetration, in terms of um what they do and all of that, we're not seeing that as much, but we there's been progress, so it's been incredible.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_02: For me, I'm the first female lawyer in my family.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: Oh wow, so it's that's so cool.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_02: It's definitely it's been a blessing, and sometimes they look at you like they're expecting so much and see what God does.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think, but yeah, it's it's been it's been such a privilege and a blessing.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: So your parents have been really not only supportive of the idea, but your dad actually inspired it.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, absolutely.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_02: He really did.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: So, what do you normally um represent?
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: Are you like for nonprofits?
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: Is it criminal?
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: Is it marriage and family?
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: I know a lot.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's it's one word for a lot of different types and uh specialties, if you will.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: So, what what is your specialty and how did you go about choosing it, or did it kind of choose you?
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_02: I think mine changed over time.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_02: So when I started after my schooling, and um, because here as well, once you're done with schooling, you still have to do like a year um to get your certification.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so after that, I because at that point, what I was interested in financial law, and what that means is there I was a lot of the chats and a lot of the complex, some of those complex things, but I loved it at that point, and so I worked as a financial lawyer.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I worked in a in a firm and it was a pretty big firm, so we're able to specialize.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_02: But right now I'm focusing more on family law, so I do more in the area of um family rights and trusts and things pertaining to women and just family dynamics, so that has been a bit of a shift.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_02: But funny enough, at the point where during my undergraduate degree, I did a specialization in family law, so I I I guess I always knew that there'll be some work in family law, I mean the area of family law, but I just didn't know when and how it would work.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_02: But right now I'm getting to do more of that, and that has been a blessing, yeah.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_02: But when I started, it was more of the financial lore, so it was more mergers and acquisitions, it was more about capital markets uh lore and all of those sort of things.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_02: But now it's there's been some shifts.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: That does sound a little bit more complicated.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: You throw numbers into all of it and you have to argue the point that would be different.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you mentioned that it was drive or desire to read and write, and that love sort of led you down the path of um being a lawyer.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: How about your journey into writing and a blog?
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: And is that something that was really common in Nigeria already?
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: How did you stumble upon communicating that way, just kind of your heart and your ministry with that?
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so this is another story, and I think this is slightly different from um my journey to I'm choosing law.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's okay.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: We left stories.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I do as well.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so let me make this one a good one.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so in 2015, I I was still working as a financial lawyer and I was working in a firm that an investment bank.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember because one of the things I've always been interested in is managing your finances well.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_02: Like I try to encourage people, I talk about savings and all of those sort of things.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so at some point I thought, oh, do you know what?
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_02: You could actually start a personal finance blog, or you could just start a blog where you just write all these crazy things that you're always thinking of.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe it's time to just put it somewhere.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so I started up a blog called Lost Prose, and what I just did was basically like some things I so I I do something I call poetic prose.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_02: So, what poetic prose is that it's it's writing things in a poetic way, but in a prose form.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_02: So something of a mix of both.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_02: So it's not necessarily a poem, but at the same time, it's not necessarily just a writing.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so that was what I did for while I was working.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_02: So I did that and it was just something I did on the side.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_02: But sometime in 2016, I felt like God was calling me to do something more.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I had always told him that I had a burden to help women, but just so I just feel like he put the burden and but he didn't tell me how I was gonna use it.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I thought it meant like since I was a lawyer, then I work maybe on issues pertaining to women's rights and children's rights.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_02: I thought I'll be around that area, but it just wasn't.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_02: I wasn't getting any clarity clarity in that area.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_02: So I was like, okay, maybe that's not what he wants me to do.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_02: And sometime towards the end of 2016, I felt so strongly that he wanted me out of the legal, the legal, the full-time legal um field.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_02: So he wanted me to leave where I currently was.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_02: And it was a difficult um decision because I was I was in a great place.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_02: I had a great job, I loved my job.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_02: I worked with amazing colleagues, like people were really good.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_02: It was always about the work, we're always willing to help and support each other.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_02: And it was it was such an amazing environment.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_02: I had great bosses, so it was one of those places where I didn't have any issues with the bosses, I didn't have any issues with my colleagues.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_02: It was just a great place to learn and a great place to go.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_02: But it but then it was obvious that God wanted me out of that place at that time.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but then I still didn't know, I still didn't get a sense of what he wanted me to do.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_02: But it wasn't until a funny story how God works.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_02: It wasn't the December of that year.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_02: After I had given my so I had given a resignation letter, my boss did not even want to accept it for a while because we're like, no, don't go.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but like, no, I have to, I literally have to go.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_02: But then because I didn't know exactly what God wanted me to do, I had to go telling them that okay, I'm just gonna leave and maybe start a practice that practice him on my own.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but then it it wasn't until December of that year.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_02: So I had given my I think I told them I was leaving.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_02: So I was supposed to end, I was supposed to leave.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_02: My last day was in December 2016, but I still didn't know what exactly I was gonna be doing.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_02: So it was a really funny time, but then I couldn't really tell people that oh she's leaving, but she doesn't really know what she's doing.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_02: So I had never feels to find a way to explain away what uh yeah, exactly what people would were more likely to accept because you don't just tell people that oh yeah, this bright young girl is leaving just because you know sometimes not yeah, not everyone understands, and then I remember people would ask me questions like, Oh, is everything okay?
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_02: Like, are you okay?
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_02: So sometimes they'll call you out thinking that there's some secret thing that maybe you're you're you're not happier.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, no, literally, like there's nothing wrong.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_02: Like, um, I just know that it's time to go and I have to leave.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so that was what I had to struggle with, and I kept praying like God, what exactly do you want me to do?
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_02: And at some point in time, but he says, Oh, you're gonna start a blog about women.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_02: I go, okay, oh, thank you so much.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_02: Finally, like, oh, something yes.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so I was very happy about that.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_02: And it was obvious that I had to stop even this, the one I was already writing a personal findings blog, because that was for everyone and it wasn't really Christian targeted.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_02: But then I knew that this was gonna be for Christian women, so it was very specific about Christian women.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so yeah, that was how in 2017 I left, and even though I'd started as practicing on the side, I knew at some point, I think by March, that that was not really, he didn't want me even practicing at that point, he just wanted me to focus.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_02: But then I just thought, okay, Christian women is still pretty wide, right?
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but then I'll just write, but I'll just gonna keep writing and see how it goes.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_02: But I think there was a particular day, probably sometime in April or May, and the word I got, and it was so strong, it was like, I was like, God, but I'm just writing, I feel like I'm writing to everybody and nobody.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_02: And then what I got so strong in my spirit was write to women like you.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, women like me, women like me, women like me, okay, women like me, what black women or what?
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_02: And it was obvious that it was to single Christian women like me, and I'm like, oh God, oh wow, uh, it took me a while to get that story.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_02: And hey, that's all right.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_02: But what I when I yeah, exactly.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_02: But when I got it, you know, there was peace, and I think that's an amazing thing about God.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_02: Like, when you're in the center of his will, there's peace.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_02: It might not mean that things will always work out the way you hope, but there will be peace, there'll be um some a certain level of realization that you're where he wants you to be.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't mean even if the storms are raging, you're still where he wants you to be.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_02: So it was obvious that I was that he wanted me to focus on single Christian women.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_02: But then the truth was that at that point I wasn't seeing a lot of people doing what I was doing.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_02: And and even when I saw blogs about single women, it was usually about dating and getting married.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_02: So I was like, hmm, God, one of the things you've been teaching me in this season of my life and this period is that I I should seek you, I should find time with you, I should grow in my relationship with you.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_02: And I believe that that's what you want for your women, especially your single women, that rather than spending so much time worried about getting married, worried about what people are saying to them, worried about just the struggles and and issues regarding marriage and singleness and all of that, that you want them to focus on you.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I I knew that that was not gonna be an easy thing to think about because then at that point I was I was 30, 31.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_02: Oh no, about yeah, 31.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_02: And I and I was in a place where, because in traditional Nigerian society, at a certain age, a woman is expected to be married.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_02: I think it's the same in some parts of the US, sure, but here, like you definitely like you should be talking about marriage, like, or you're showing people your husband or your fiance, like there has to be some traction in that area, right?
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_02: So you see me, so you can imagine me a 31-year-old single woman telling women, oh, you know what?
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_02: You have to love God and grow your lady, like it wasn't it wasn't the easiest thing, but I feel like that is where God equips us.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_02: So even when we don't know where we're going, he's so I did uh it was later on I realized that all my life, God had been getting me ready for the season of my life.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_02: So that was probably why He I was born into the family I was born into.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_02: So I was born into a family where my dad always encouraged us to speak, to not be afraid to let our voice be heard, even if it's not the popular opinion.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_02: Because my dad was that person.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_02: He was a person I would say things.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_02: Even if he was the only one, he was fine.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_02: He'll be fine with it.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_02: Like he's fine to go ahead.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_02: So I grew up knowing that okay, it's okay, your voice can still be heard.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_02: Do you matter what you have to say matters, even if it's not the population?
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_02: And what you should always ask yourself at every point is does it need to be heard?
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_02: Does it need to be said?
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_02: And so I grew up with that mindset.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_02: And I thank God for that because it helped me during the season because there were times when my ad I would have aunt to say that what is this you're doing?
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what is going on?
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_02: Like, right, um, why are you not telling us about a husband?
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_02: Why you not telling us about all of that?
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_02: Why what is this?
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_02: Like, yes, it's good to pray, it's good to do all that, but get married already.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what is all of this?
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I mean, there has to be a little bit in you that are like, okay, Lord, can I write about getting married?
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_00: Can I write about you know, like, is is this always the season I'm gonna be in?
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I I think it's so brave of you to be willing to accept the assignment and and thrive in it.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: I think, and I think that's why what you have to say is so powerful and relatable.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_02: And well, people always say that God doesn't um doesn't call the equipped or he he equips the calls.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_02: So that's right.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_02: So because there were times when I felt like, okay, God, this is a bit too much for me.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_02: Because I feel like what I'm talking about is not something people really want to hear.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_02: And so, yeah, there were periods when it was difficult.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_02: Like, even on sometimes I would even when I joined Facebook groups and some groups of bloggers, and everybody's talking about something different, and then you're talking about it, and it's almost like crickets, and you're like, Okay, yeah, people honestly, I'm not just doing this on my own.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_02: But yes, that was but I thank God for that because I think I needed to also see that part of it.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_02: I needed to be okay with it, I needed to be okay with people not necessarily accepting what you're saying, and I needed to also respect people's opinions because we're not all the same.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_02: I am um, I have learned through my own experiences, and I feel like it's the same for every other person.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_02: So your reality sometimes is different from the next next person's.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_02: And so, what it what should be the guiding lights for us as Christians is to be able to accept or to understand where people are coming from, and to be able to respect where they're coming from, even if it's different from where you are or different from what you believe, and to have that level of respect where you don't denounce what they say because they said it, but you try to understand, and where possible you speak the truth in love.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_02: So I think it was those were necessary lessons, and there are things I'm still learning because obviously the world, we know what is happening today, but it's been an amazing lesson this world.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's been great.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: I know you're enjoying this conversation as much as I am, but I wanted to tell you something exciting that I'm starting here with simply wholehearted.
• 24:58
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• 25:03
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• 25:11
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• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: First, I have an Aneagram quick start guide you can download, which gives you a rundown of my favorite resources and the step-by-step discovery process that you could do completely on your own.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_00: Then, I love to answer your Anneagram questions on the podcast or the socials so you can submit your questions in under a minute on our Enneagram question form.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_00: Now, best of all, I am a certified Anneagram coach, and I have a few limited spaces this spring with me, your wholehearted living coach, combining years of life experience in addition to the understanding of the Anneagram.
• 25:50
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• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: So let's move past the messy middle, get free from the shame-based ending, and instead reboot your story by better understanding your season and uncover the fruit of your best life.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_00: Now, let's get back to the conversation.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I know you speak to women all the time and single women in particular about uncovering that purpose and what we were designed and created to be.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: So those who are listening today, whether they're single or not, that need to help redefining their purpose, what would you say to them?
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, um, what else say?
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_02: I think one of the major things for me in finding and understanding my purpose was in realizing that everything matters.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_02: Like so the little things that you probably thought was nothing, maybe the experiences from your past that you thought meant nothing to you.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_02: Because I remember as a young child, I just realized that I always, always I was very sensitive to things can pertaining to women.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, as a seven-year-old, like I would notice things, but I didn't really, it didn't make sense at that point.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_02: I just thought that that was just maybe every other person noticed it as well.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_02: And even at even at that point, I would not only notice the things, especially just disparities, the way um I am from a culture that doesn't that to a large extent doesn't treat women very well.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_02: So my particular culture in Nigeria, um, woman is not allowed to own property in some areas.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_02: So there are a lot of so those sort of realities.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_02: There's still biases out there and injustices.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_02: It was just finding that a lot of times God puts it in there, puts the the his desire in us, even from a young age.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, sometimes that desire is also born out of pain.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel like that is where it gets difficult for a lot of women because I've met women who told me that all this happened and they didn't want to think about it.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm thinking to myself, that's probably where God wants you working, because a lot of times it comes out of pain, it comes out of injustice, it comes out of a desire or passion to make things better.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_02: Because I feel like God's put every single one of us on earth to not just to leave, but to make things better, to leave the earth better than it was when we came in.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_02: And for every single one of us, he puts that burden.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_02: And for all for each person, the burden might be different, or but at the end of the day, it's still a burden for the human race, it's still a burden to make things better, to make the world a better place, and it's still a burden to make people to bring people closer to him, to bring his children back to him.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so um, so there were some things I struggle with even as a teen.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_02: I remember beyond all the things that I realized, all the things that I had seen and noticed, I just felt like okay, especially even in the church.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_02: So I think this is where it gets tricky because I had I saw some of those things even in the church.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_02: So in the church, I would see that women were treated a certain way, and not just women, but then if you're single, married, if you have kids or you don't have kids, especially like all those disparities and all those divisions that did not make things better but make things worse.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_02: Because I remember then I had uh aunties that were not married, and the way the kind of questions they always had to answer, and then I had aunties that didn't have kids, they were married but they didn't have kids, and I realized that the the the way people would treat them, they would usually feel like they would they didn't belong, because then every other person seems to have a child as married, so there were there was always a sort of ostracization, like they felt like they were outcasts or they were not part of the yeah, the the accepted um the accepted family or Christian family.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_02: And it's just sometimes all these things that they seem subtle sometimes, they seem like, oh, it's okay, not a big deal.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_02: But I think over time I realized that those things matter, and I think the incredible thing for me was realizing that God also saw this thing, like He hurt, like that that people created this divisions that He didn't create, right?
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_02: And and I feel like that was what really gave me the strength to do what I'm doing today.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_02: Because for a long time I remember having a conversation with a friend at some point, and I told her, and this was probably five or six years ago, maybe yeah, five or six years ago.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_02: So I was already a born-again Christian, but there were still some areas I struggle with.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember telling her that you know, I don't even think God really likes women.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like we're second class to him as well.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_02: Like look at the Bible, look at how the women were treated in the old testament and all of that.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_02: But you know what happened, and just to show that God listens and he's such a gracious God, when he called me out, one of the biggest, one of the first things he taught me.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_02: I remember in December when I started doing some research for what I was gonna be writing about.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_02: When oh I and by the way, I love research, although I don't do as much as I should.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_02: And I realized something.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_02: One of the biggest things the Holy Spirit told me was that I love my children, I love both men and women.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_02: It was never my intention that one part, it was more about the human we human beings, the way we uh interpreted God's plan and the way we interpreted a lot of things.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_02: And the fact that God allowed it happen doesn't mean that that was what he wanted.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_02: Because I feel like a lot of people, that was where we struggled with the fact that all women were treated as chattel, women were not really treated as if they mattered.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_02: It did not mean that he did not love women, it did not mean that's not how he designed it, right?
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's not how it began in the Garden of Eden.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_00: It was male and female.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_02: He created that both in his image, except absolutely, absolutely, and I remember I had to go back to that Genesis 1, 26, 28.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_02: I had to go back, I remember reading that version so many times.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_02: I remember reading it in different um different versions of it as well, just to get a sense of what God was his intention, and that was the same thing.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_02: I got what you just said now, Amy, like his it was male and female he created, it wasn't male, male, and you know, sometimes it made it seem like, oh, okay, um, so the woman was an afterthought.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, the fact that he created Eve after Adam doesn't change that in the spirit, he created the male and female, so he already knew, God already knew that there'll be a man and a woman, and both of them were required to bring about his purpose on earth.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so those truths were things I really needed to strengthen me.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel like that is what I'll see to every woman that first of all, you matter, and God has a plan for you.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_02: Because sometimes it might seem like, okay, um, maybe I'm just gonna leave life anyhow, I'm just gonna do what I can.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_02: But no, there's actually a purpose and a plan to you being here on earth.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and that is irrespective of how you came on earth because for some people, maybe there were um children of single mothers, there were people like whatever, maybe rape or one thing or the other.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_02: And one thing I've learned that one thing God has taught me is that the fact that you you might have come into those waters a certain way doesn't change the fact that he knew you were going to come into the world, and he knew that because you were gonna come into the world, he had a plan for you.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel like, and sometimes what the way you even come into the world might also be part of your purpose because it might be that you're bringing restoration to that single mother because you were uh a child of a single mother.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_02: So it is just how amazing and how great God's love for us is that he uses every single thing every to bring about his plans on earth, he uses every single part of our lives to help to connect with him and help us to connect to our purpose.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_02: So today I'm I'm I'm happy that even though yes, I'm not married, I'm not, I don't have a lot of things, or I don't have what society defines that maybe a great life, maybe husband, children, and a lot of those other things.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_00: I have I've been able to experience the peace that passes all in this time, literally, like I've been yeah, and to your point too, uh as you were talking about purpose, and it's we're going back a little way in the conversation, but I was just talking to a friend today about how we I and I I think honestly, this is a perhaps an error in the Christian culture, but we move past our pain too quickly, and we don't allow people, I don't I am not looking for I don't want to wallow in my pain, and I don't I don't want my friends to wallow in their pain, but it's really important to take time and to acknowledge and identify it and and to feel it even.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I I'm currently just walking through something that in the past I would be tempted to say, yeah, but God is good and this is fine, and we'll be fine, and just you know, and just move past instead I'm finding myself, and and again, you know, each personality has their own wrestle.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_00: Some people struggle with you know being able to be hopeful, but um, but just to say to my those who are closest, going, This is hard, and I don't like this, and this isn't fun.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_00: I know God is good, and I know that the Lord will be able to overcome, but this this is just hard.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I think when we are willing to acknowledge and open ourselves up to experiencing grief, God in turn comforts us and ministers to us, and then we are then later on able to minister to others out of that pain and out of that grief.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely, absolutely, like that.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_02: And you just preached that was that's that's Second Corinthians, I think, one, three to four.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_02: That talks about the God that comforts us, and with that comfort, then we're able to comfort.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_02: And it's so true because one thing that one of the things I learned, and it was not an easy thing to learn because it required me going back into those those hotfolds, the the the parts of my life that I wanted to forget.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_02: And one of the things I learned was that that pain, don't waste your pain.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_02: Like that pain is there for a reason, and there is something that God is not only gonna teach you, but He's gonna you're gonna help other people.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_02: So, one of the things I realized with working with God is that it's not just about you, like if you think it's about you, then you've already missed it.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's literally not about you, it's about him and then the way he's gonna use you to bring about that thing.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_02: So, what I realized with pains and like regrets and things that we go through is that when you when you're in that moment, it might feel like it might feel overwhelming, might feel like this is just too much, but at some point you probably get to realize when you stop looking at how insular that situation is, you might get to realize that you know what, there is more to the situation, there is more to the experience, and it's not just about me experiencing, it's also about how I can help the next person, yeah, who is probably gonna go through because there'll always be someone behind you that's going to that thing you just came out of.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_00: That's right, absolutely.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel like that is so.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_02: In the last few months, I've been meeting a lot of women who God has really literally called out the way he called me out.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_02: And I keep laughing.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_02: Like when you're sharing this, I'm like, I'm like, oh sister, I've been there, don't worry, you'll be fine.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_02: Like, so it's it's because I've had that experience and I know what the walk was like with him.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm able to encourage the next person that's going through that because it can be a scary time because you're leaving everything you know and everything you have, and God is literally stripping you of all of those things because I was known as all the right lawyers, the the ladies that the confident lawyer, you know, all of those things, and he literally had to strip all of those things away because I'd started using those things as almost like a prop for myself, like, okay, yeah, I'm known as this, I'm known as that.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_02: So it became my identity, and it's like no density is me, nothing else.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_02: Like everything is man-made, everything will fade away, but with me, it's forever.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_02: So I had to I had to accept that, I had to take that, and I feel like that is so anytime we go through things, it's not just about us.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_02: I think one of the things that we should ask is, what is God teaching me with this experience?
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_02: What can I do with this experience?
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, it will not always work because sometimes we definitely don't remember.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_02: Because I remember last year I was at a point where my account was empty.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_02: Like I was like, literally, like, God, what is going on?
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you call me out, and you I know you're the God of provides, but this is really bad.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_02: And there were times when I had whispers, you know, that you know, the devil always tries to take advantage of those moments.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_02: So I had whispers in my spirit that yes, you made a mistake, who told you to quit your job, why'd you leave?
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_02: Or blah blah blah.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_02: So there were a lot of those things running through my mind and I was thinking, do you know what?
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_02: And I just realized that if I had let those things, if I had if I had spent time thinking that way, it would have affected even my hope and my faith, and it would have made it difficult to believe God, to trust him in even in that pain or even in that in that in that season of lack.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_02: But one of the things I realized, God, and I feel like that last year, one of the things that really resonated with me was Paul's um letter in Philippines 4 when he told them that I've learned to obey and abound, because I literally had to leave that.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_02: I had moments where my account was empty, and I had moments where I had money and I had things.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and it was just realizing that God is not about the things.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_02: So a lot of times we we look at God's relationship based on what He's given us, what we're getting from it.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_02: And one of the things I learned last year was that it's not about those things, that God He's the He's the author, like He everything belongs to Him, like money, like every everything.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_02: So you can't, if you're looking at that relationship based on what you can get, then you very limited yourself and you limited what God can do for you.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_02: And that was one of the things I had to learn because not a few months later, like God literally changed the picture for me.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_02: Like He literally took me out of having almost nothing to a point where I not only had enough, but was able to also give and give so so it and I say and I and I I thank him for that because I just imagined like if I had continued to stay in a place of oh God has forgotten me, or God is not maybe I made a mistake, maybe I should go back to work, I should look for because at that point I might I had people that were still asking me to work with them, and I had people that were offering me jobs, so you can imagine it would have been easy to go with those things.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_02: Um but I realized that that that was not where God wanted me, so I'm truly truly grateful for the journey.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel like that is some encouragement for women as well.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_02: That just to realize that sometimes it will not always make sense.
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_02: In fact, a lot of times it will not make sense because God's ways are not our ways.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_02: Isn't that the truth?
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, uh, it's it is the truth.
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_02: But the fact that it doesn't make sense doesn't mean that he's not working something out for us.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_02: And and I feel like that is always what happens with this experience.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_02: Like at the end, you're like, oh wow, God, is that why you did it that way?
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, now I understand.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_02: And you you always have that irical moment where you think, oh wow, so that was what was gonna happen.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_02: Right, right.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_02: So that was why he wanted me to do this or do that.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so yeah, I feel like it's just to strengthen them not to be afraid and not to not allow their fears to stop them from venturing forth and to stop them from obeying him.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_02: Because I feel like one of the major things God requires of us is our obedience.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_02: Like he literally wants our heart, a heart that is not um that doesn't shy away from, doesn't give him excuses.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_02: Like he, yes, he will listen to your excuses, but he still wants you to do that thing.
• 40:41
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 40:41
  SPEAKER_02: I I remember reading most of the story, like it's always so hilarious.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_02: Like when the Bunny Bush experience and when God was like the the conversation was like that.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_02: It was, I'm sure it's literally literally like what a lot of us would have with the kind of conversations we have with God, like, oh, oh, I want to go get the um to rescue the children, like me of all me, like literally God, me, like of all people, like right and I le I ran away from there.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_02: It's a shame for me.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_02: Like, it's I can't go back.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_02: It's so imagine everything.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_02: Moses, and the funny thing is that as Moses is saying one thing, God is telling something else.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_02: So he kept looking for reasons and excuses for for why he couldn't do what he could do.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_02: In fact, I remember one part that struck me was that at the end of the day he still said, God, you know what?
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I don't speak well, like there's no reason why it should be me.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you should have find somebody else.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I feel like a lot of us have probably said that to God, like, you got God, this is too much.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_02: Why not find somebody else?
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_02: I'm sure there's someone better that can do this.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_02: But then he chose you for a reason, he chose each and every one of us.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_02: He's chosen us for a reason, and he knows that we're able to do it, that we do it.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I think he's such a gracious God that even when we run away, even when we say no, because I'm sure this is probably not the first time God was calling me out, but this was just the time I decided to answer.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm sure at some point it would have just been too hard to even fathom like what he was he wanted me to do.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_02: So I would not have done it.
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_02: But I thank God that he kept chasing me, like even when I ran away, like he was still there for me, and uh I'm able to share my story, including the parts I'm not proud of.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_02: Because I yeah, I think for a lot of us, there are a lot of things that we've done in the past that we're not proud of, and sometimes we want to gloss over those things.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_02: So thank you so much for saying that about pain because not just the pain, sometimes also the shame.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_00: Truly turns our mess into a testimony, and absolutely and that idea of what was meant for evil, he can he can overcome with his goodness.
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_02: And oh, I love that scripture so much.
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I even been thinking about recently just about you know, a couple situations.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_00: What if and it doesn't feel possible at this point in my level of faith, it doesn't feel possible that this could pertain to every situation, but I've thought about a couple of them going, what if the Lord's goodness so overcame the circumstance that I can't even remember that this originally was intended for evil and that his goodness so override, that's all I can remember is his goodness and how he used it for his good and his glory.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_00: So I, yeah, again, this is my my own, just like sharing where I'm at.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have quite the faith, or you know, I can't quite see it for every circumstance, but I but I feel like he gave that whisper and it's the invitation to begin to see it in a lot of a lot of circumstances of hey, I think you're gonna look back, and it's almost like he can rewrite history.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_00: You know, not that there's not sometimes consequences or a journey that we have to go on because of whether it was our choice or someone else's sin choice, but but he can, you know, rewrite that history where we can more trace his hand and his goodness through it than just the pain.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_02: So that is powerful.
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_02: And funny enough, I was reading through um Genesis, I saw the story of Joseph recently, and and anytime like it's still astounding like what Joseph did.
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_02: You know the funny thing, though.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_02: So I got a different angle the last time I read it because that was something I never really considered.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_02: And it was the case of after he became the governor and he became the head of all of Egypt.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_02: Just imagine how Potiphar and his wife must have felt.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_02: Just imagine.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_02: And then just imagine the fact that he did not use that against them because they were now literally under him.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_02: Like they now had to serve him, they now had to answer to him.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_02: So he could have done anything he wanted to do with them.
• 44:31
  SPEAKER_02: And and Pharaoh would have been fine with it because he's like, Oh, yeah, you are in charge of everything else.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah except me.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_02: Because that was what Pharaoh told him.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_02: You're in charge of everything else except me.
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_02: So he could have done anything with them.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_02: And sometimes I feel like that is also one of the things I've had a Christian rhetoric I think that is dangerous.
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_02: This idea of oh, um, let your enemies wait and see what you become, and then you could put it in your face.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_02: And like, I don't think that is the idea though.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I don't think your mission to become better should be so that you would show them, like those people, the naysayers.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_02: I think that if we do, if we focus on that, then we're missing the point because for Joseph, it was it was a case of God put him through all of that.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I feel like the thing about Joseph's story is that he didn't even deserve any of it.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_02: Like, for some of us, we actually probably deserve some of the things that we got, but he didn't deserve any of it.
• 45:23
  SPEAKER_02: And still he had to go through all of it, and he still didn't take that again, like he didn't use it against any of the people.
• 45:31
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like that is such an incredible story, and it's very, very encouraging.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_02: So, thank you for bringing that.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, I would love to, I think we're getting a good taste of your new program called Hold Her Up because obviously this is um a place for support, accountability to be supported and loved and encouraged instead of compared or a place of come you know competition.
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um yeah, I would love to hear more about that, what that looks like, and what people or women, um, because it's for women, what women can expect when they become part of this community.
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, um, probably start with the journey that led to this, and you know, like any journey.
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know why I keep going back really far, but this journey also started a long time ago, but I didn't even know it for what it was.
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um I can't write those pain points that I don't know.
• 46:25
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 46:26
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly, exactly.
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so I was one of those little girls that would usually hang out with guys.
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_02: So I obviously had an elder brother and I had my cousins and a lot of the guys, a lot of people around me were young boys, so I would usually hang out with them.
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_02: But as I grew older, I started hanging out maybe in school and all that, and I was very friendly.
• 46:47
  SPEAKER_02: So now people don't always believe that I was very friendly, and you're totally friendly.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_00: You're so nice and kind, absolutely.
• 46:57
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, thank you.
• 46:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so I I would hang out people, play with them, but I realized that I didn't always um flow well with the girls, so I would flow well with the boys, but I didn't flow well with the girls, but I didn't understand it, so I just thought, but then at some point in my life, I had a really bad experience with girls that were my friends.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_02: So I think this was probably I was about eight or eight years old, or yeah, eight or nine.
• 47:21
  SPEAKER_02: And they said some things about me that weren't true, and they reported me to the principal.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_02: So I remember that that really spot because I'm like, okay, I do even make friends with girls, and now I make friends with girls and you guys do this to me.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_02: So I just said, okay, do you know what?
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_02: First of all, I'll never have a best friend ever again.
• 47:35
  SPEAKER_02: So a lot of those things, and it's funny how those experiences shape who we become because I realized that for a long time after that, I struggled with having close friends, and I struggled with um having female friendships.
• 47:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but those inner views can be powerful, especially when you can out of pain.
• 47:53
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely, very, very powerful, very, very powerful.
• 47:57
  SPEAKER_02: And so there was that struggle.
• 47:59
  SPEAKER_02: So growing up, even but I was still I still noticed a lot of things about amongst women.
• 48:05
  SPEAKER_02: I noticed that a lot of times it was this subtle um competition, one even within between sisters, friends, like it was always one person trying to be better or look better or smile, you know, do something better than the next woman.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_02: And and I I just realized that that was a real that was such an unhealthy environment that we had all grown in, a lot of us, like this idea that the next woman is your competition rather than your sister.
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_02: So when you're looking at the next woman, what you're thinking is, okay, you don't want her to get the man that will be yours.
• 48:38
  SPEAKER_02: You don't want to so you'd see a situation where I remember a friend when we're in university, we had just finished university, and she told me she had broken up with her uh boyfriend, and she told me that her mom had mentioned that she shouldn't tell anybody that she'd broken up with him so that no one else would take the guy.
• 48:53
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember looking at and thinking, I don't understand, like, do you think our life's mission is to take your boyfriend?
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_02: Like so it was such a uh such a dangerous mentality, and that was she literally didn't tell a lot of people.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember I probably she probably told me because we're quite close.
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_02: And but I just realized that if you go around life thinking that the next next woman is going to take what is yours, then that would affect your relationship, that would affect how you treat the next woman, that would even affect how willing you are to support her.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_02: And now we come into the social media world where it's even worse because you're seeing this amazing lives, and you're just wondering, okay, why is mine not like that?
• 49:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, mine doesn't look like that.
• 49:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's not real.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, right.
• 49:33
  SPEAKER_02: And then all you're saying, all you're seeing is just that everything is working out for the other person, not for you.
• 49:38
  SPEAKER_02: And then sometimes the devil takes um, he he monop monopolizes the sort of situation and it makes you feel like okay, because of something, maybe there's something bad that you don't have, and the only way you could get that thing is you maybe to treat them.
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know, it's just it breeds a lot of bad blood, a lot of negativity, a lot of um competition and comparison, things that are so unhealthy.
• 49:59
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and you know, in the midst of all of these things happening, something I realized about myself that anytime I'm walking in the center of God's will, there's a way I spoke that there's usually a way I speak about women, or there's a way I speak to them.
• 50:13
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm usually one of those people that will give really nice compliments.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_02: Remember the other time I gave a compliment to this lady and she was looking at me like, what is wrong with you?
• 50:20
  SPEAKER_02: Like that is a bit much.
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm thinking, oh gosh, yeah, maybe I stepped on a like a boundary.
• 50:25
  SPEAKER_02: But for me, I was like, God, God thinks you're beautiful, like lady, like you're beautiful, like you you have beautiful hair, and and I and I realize a lot of women are insecure as well.
• 50:33
  SPEAKER_02: Like a lot of women I meet, there's always something that they feel is not good about them every time.
• 50:38
  SPEAKER_02: And this is even the most beautiful woman, like they should say, Oh, my thighs are too big, or so they there's always they're quick to point out the good that things are not good, right?
• 50:47
  SPEAKER_02: The negatives, and they sometimes they don't they don't give as much attention to the positives and the things that they actually have.
• 50:53
  SPEAKER_02: And so part of what this holder up is they dare is to to help women realize that that we all matter, and then to help them realize that the next woman is your sister, she's just not the competition, she's not the enemy, to realize that it takes more and and we're about and change would happen if we actually celebrate each other rather than tear each other down.
• 51:15
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so another way I used to see this was I remember maybe I see a fair, um so in Nigeria, obviously they love fair and dark-skinned people.
• 51:24
  SPEAKER_02: So I remember then growing up, you see a fair skin girl, and you say, Oh, she's only pretty because she's fair.
• 51:29
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, we say those things, and and it took me a while to realize that no, it doesn't matter if she's pretty, because she's fair.
• 51:36
  SPEAKER_02: So you're not gonna take away her fairness, you're not gonna pour something on her just to make her dack.
• 51:40
  SPEAKER_02: Do you understand?
• 51:40
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm like, those sort of statements don't even make sense because she's actually fair.
• 51:43
  SPEAKER_02: Don't say because she's fair or because she's tall, that's why people like her, because she's short, that's why people like her.
• 51:48
  SPEAKER_02: So those were a lot of things that we said to ourselves and amongst ourselves, and I realized how how negative and how this sort of uh mindset affects women and how we treat each other.
• 51:57
  SPEAKER_02: So one of the things I realized, and one of the things Holder Up was about is to help women realize that we we're all a community, community, and if we're able to harness all that God has in each of us, all that God has placed in each of us, then it will be an incredible, incredible, incredible community.
• 52:14
  SPEAKER_02: And not just that, then the society will be better for it because then we realize that nobody else is the enemy, no, is not um the other lady, the woman next to you, not the one stopping you from your getting your blessings or stopping you from attaining attaining all that God has for you.
• 52:29
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like when we realize those sort of things, then we're we're happy to hold other women up, we're happy to support them on their journey, we're happy to push for them, yeah, to celebrate, celebrate the differences and celebrate their exactly their wins and celebrate.
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's actually a command in the Bible to rejoice with those who rejoice, share in each other's burdens, yeah.
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_02: Like the Bible, there's so much about sharing each other's burdens, yeah.
• 52:56
  SPEAKER_00: Including the right exactly.
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_02: There's so much about helping other people to be there for them, and that is and funny enough, it's actually from 1st Thessalonians 5.
• 53:07
  SPEAKER_02: I remember reading that like this was such a burden, like help women to be better, help women, help them realize that they all matter and that the next woman is not the problem because it was almost like okay, it was because of her that I'm suffering this.
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_02: And I think it all comes back to Eve and the weight and the place of Eve and even in our lives, because I feel like there's still that remnant of guilt that we've placed on Eve, um, the first woman.
• 53:32
  SPEAKER_02: So, and I feel like that guilt has transcended all this well.
• 53:36
  SPEAKER_02: So, even till today, we're not able to take it away from.
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_02: We still feel like she was to blame, and we still feel like we're still paying the same paying for her sins.
• 53:44
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and it's just to realize that no, God has paid for everything in full.
• 53:49
  SPEAKER_02: So it you can't you can't overdo what God has already done, like he has done it all, and and that is the end.
• 53:55
  SPEAKER_02: And to realize that he's still able to bless us.
• 53:58
  SPEAKER_02: So it's almost like the prodigal son and his brother.
• 54:00
  SPEAKER_02: The brother felt like, why, like, father, why are you doing all of those things?
• 54:03
  SPEAKER_02: Like to realize that the fact that God has blessed the next woman, even with the things that you wanted, doesn't stop him from blessing you.
• 54:10
  SPEAKER_02: It's it doesn't stop him from helping you.
• 54:13
  SPEAKER_02: And so, what we're trying to do, we're trying to build a community where women help each other, where women support each other, where women love and inspire each other, and where women are able to share their pains.
• 54:23
  SPEAKER_02: And we're not we're not trying to hide those things and trying to look perfect.
• 54:27
  SPEAKER_02: Because I feel like that is what the social media world did to us.
• 54:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it gave the sense of oh, everything is perfect, everything is great, everything is this.
• 54:34
  SPEAKER_02: And one of the things that God told me was that this wasn't going to be for just single women, this was going to be for all women because um we're all going through these things for somebody, it might be um issues with child, child um having children for someone else, it might be issues with singleness for someone else, it might be issues with the career, it might so it was just like realizing that we're all struggling and we're all suffering and we're all going through things, and just realizing that he has placed us on earth to be communities, to be there for the next person to be, to be there to help and support the next person.
• 55:04
  SPEAKER_02: So, yeah.
• 55:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's so good.
• 55:05
  SPEAKER_00: Are you finding in your local church there in Nigeria that this is um that this is a problem even within the church?
• 55:14
  SPEAKER_00: Say like we have small groups at our church, and I it's so important, but and then people say they want small groups because they're looking for community, but I think there's the lost art of community uh within the church.
• 55:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's kind of this thing that we've forgotten how to be authentic and transparent, and you know, maybe due to the social media uh of our of our current day.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um how about there?
• 55:41
  SPEAKER_00: Is that something you're bumping up against when you work on having relationships, you know, you know, real life relationships, not just the social.
• 55:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 55:50
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like yeah, you you really touched on the critical issue as well, the fact that sometimes a church doesn't provide the safe haven that it should.
• 55:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and it's something that we're seeing in Nigeria, and I feel like it's also unique in Nigeria in the sense that maybe it's also like that in the US.
• 56:06
  SPEAKER_02: There's a sense that when you're Christian and when you're matured Christian and you're working and you're doing things well, then everything should suppose to work out for you.
• 56:14
  SPEAKER_02: So, what that does to people is that when they're going through things, when they're going through stuff, when you're going through situations and experiences that are really difficult, that really, that really test their faith, it's hard for them to share because it makes them feel like okay, people might think I'm not strong enough, people might think that God doesn't love me anymore.
• 56:32
  SPEAKER_02: And one of the things I've seen it do in Nigeria and within a lot of churches is that people now go out of their way to paint a lifestyle that is not true, to leave a life that is not true to who they are and their current realities because they want to give a sense of God being there for them, they want to give a sense of God giving them everything that they need.
• 56:56
  SPEAKER_02: And so you just imagine this that there's some people that are having to steal money just to give a sense that God is blessing them.
• 57:04
  SPEAKER_02: Does that even make sense?
• 57:04
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't make sense, right?
• 57:05
  SPEAKER_02: But this is what we're seeing.
• 57:07
  SPEAKER_02: And the women that have had to just marry any man just so that it would be that they got married.
• 57:13
  SPEAKER_02: So these are the realities that we're seeing, and one of the things that we're trying to do to hold her up is to tell women that it's okay, like you can share those things, you can share the pain, you can share the mistakes, you can share the regrets.
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_02: That this doesn't mean that God loves you any less.
• 57:26
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't mean that God has forgotten you.
• 57:28
  SPEAKER_02: For instance, I'll use myself as an example.
• 57:31
  SPEAKER_02: I'm 33 this is um now and not married.
• 57:35
  SPEAKER_02: I don't have a job that makes sense to people because I don't really have friends because you know that's the thing about the legal field sometimes.
• 57:42
  SPEAKER_02: They have this, there is this level of elite elitism.
• 57:45
  SPEAKER_02: Like people believe they should have a set, you should be in a certain place at this point in your life.
• 57:50
  SPEAKER_02: So people have cars, you have quite a number a lot of money, they're able to do a lot of things.
• 57:55
  SPEAKER_02: And then you are, you say your blogger, Christian blogger.
• 57:59
  SPEAKER_02: What is what is that?
• 58:00
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 58:01
  SPEAKER_02: So, so so I I've seen people that maybe started out with me that are in the world's terms far ahead.
• 58:09
  SPEAKER_02: So they are getting appointments into big places, they have great jobs and all of that.
• 58:14
  SPEAKER_02: So if I wasn't strong in who I believe that God what or what he had called me to, then I would be in a place where I would not only feel insecure and inferior, I might try to do some things I shouldn't do.
• 58:27
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, just be in that place to change my my presence.
• 58:31
  SPEAKER_02: But because I understand and realize that where I am is where exactly where I need to be.
• 58:36
  SPEAKER_02: The reality for a lot of people, even in Nigerian churches, is that oh, you should be there should be progress.
• 58:41
  SPEAKER_02: And the way we mark progress is by materializing the way you mark progress.
• 58:45
  SPEAKER_02: So, for instance, even in even in the world of blogging, because sometimes we see the same thing.
• 58:50
  SPEAKER_02: So there's always there's almost this idea.
• 58:52
  SPEAKER_02: I remember when I started blogging and I wasn't seeing the traction I expected.
• 58:56
  SPEAKER_02: I remember talking to God and saying, like, God, what is happening?
• 58:59
  SPEAKER_02: I know you called me to this, so that I thought by now I would see like more followers, more of this, more of that.
• 59:03
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 59:03
  SPEAKER_02: And honestly, one of the things he told me, and he told me two things from that experience.
• 59:08
  SPEAKER_02: One of the things he told me is that it's not about how many, it's about how well.
• 59:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 59:14
  SPEAKER_02: So a lot of times the world is looking at the quantity, but God is looking at the quantity.
• 59:19
  SPEAKER_02: God is looking at how well have you impacted even the literature you have.
• 59:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's changing the matric, right?
• 59:24
  SPEAKER_00: I absolutely eight-year-old in in second grade is you know in math right now.
• 59:29
  SPEAKER_00: They're doing measurement and learning all the different types of measurements and how they translate and connect and you know, smaller to bigger and and all that different things.
• 59:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I was just oh wow, yeah, I was just thinking that how well there's just been so many things that have emphasized again and again.
• 59:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's about the matric of heaven, and it's hard to measure, it's hard to measure what that looks like because we want we're so measure-driven.
• 59:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, our society, my personality.
• 59:55
  SPEAKER_00: I want to be able to measure the level of success or impact or quantify what I've gotten done or achieved, whether it's with my family or with the podcast or with my church, you know, we want to be able to measure it.
• 1:00:10
  SPEAKER_00: And it's it's changing our our mindset.
• 1:00:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's giving a mindset shift to let's see what the metric of heaven is and let's measure it up against that.
• 1:00:21
  SPEAKER_00: And if if it is lining up with what the Lord is saying is important, then that's all that matters.
• 1:00:26
  SPEAKER_00: And and everything, then from there, when we're measuring our success by his standards, we're in a better place to encourage and bless and champion one another and remind each other what is the most important thing, whether it's through you know, social media or within our local communities, hopefully authentic communities.
• 1:00:47
  SPEAKER_00: And but it takes us saying it absolutely again and again and living it out, right?
• 1:00:53
  SPEAKER_00: Living it out in our communities in order for it to be able to do that.
• 1:00:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so it's not just to say, yeah, yes, exactly.
• 1:00:58
  SPEAKER_00: But actually walking it out and and really living what we believe, which that's a phrase from my good friend, and it's I feel like that's been going around in my mind again and again.
• 1:01:08
  SPEAKER_00: Live what I believe, live what I believe.
• 1:01:10
  SPEAKER_00: And that's part of it is I'm gonna measure myself by the matrix of heaven instead of what society says.
• 1:01:16
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, that is that is powerful.
• 1:01:18
  SPEAKER_00: I was gonna just say, I want to hear more about you had mentioned a uh devotional that you've now is this a devotional that you've written and put together and that you might be offering a few free copies to those who are listening today.
• 1:01:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, I'll be so so happy to offer physical um copies because it's actually free.
• 1:01:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um the ebook versions are free.
• 1:01:41
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I would be happy to offer the physical copies as well for the people that would want that.
• 1:01:47
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so it's a devotional through the book of Galatians, and it was such an incredible um Bible, like to write it.
• 1:01:56
  SPEAKER_02: So it was such such an incredible journey.
• 1:01:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and it one of the things I learned um all through Galatians is just how God really loves us and how he's trying to free us from the mindset that we have, the mindset from maybe our past lives, the mindset from the world, and how it's trying to take us out as women.
• 1:02:14
  SPEAKER_02: So now this devotion is written for Christian women, and how he's trying to take us out from the standards the world has placed on us, take us out from the expectations of the world, and to bring us into the freedom that he has created for us.
• 1:02:29
  SPEAKER_02: And one of the things I learned about that was that it's not just freedom, it's not just for us to misuse it, because I think that is the other part of it.
• 1:02:36
  SPEAKER_02: Because sometimes as a Christian, especially when things are working, working out for you, just feel like, oh yeah, it's about me.
• 1:02:42
  SPEAKER_02: But it's just for us to realize that He He freed us so that we could free other people.
• 1:02:48
  SPEAKER_02: So the freedom we have in Christ is not just for us, but for the next person who is in bondage, for the next person that who is still enslaved to their past lives or to their to the seeing and the desires of their flesh.
• 1:02:59
  SPEAKER_02: So it was such such an incredible um book to write.
• 1:03:02
  SPEAKER_02: And I and I'm I'll be so happy to get into the hands of your um your listener.
• 1:03:09
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't she fantastic?
• 1:03:11
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you'll join us on the socials to win one of her copies of the Devotional, or you can hop on our website right now to download your copy immediately.
• 1:03:19
  SPEAKER_00: As always, we have those links for you in the show notes.
• 1:03:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'd also love to hear what you think about our theme of No Fill February, and follow along as we continue the conversations.
• 1:03:30
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, whether your plans for the first seven weeks of the year are right on target, or all your plans have fallen to the wayside, we can take comfort in the truth that the Lord has not given up on you.
• 1:03:41
  SPEAKER_00: He has a great plan and is not thwarted by our screw-ups or mess-ups.
• 1:03:46
  SPEAKER_00: We always have an opportunity to reframe our messy middle or shame-based ending and rewrite the story we are in.
• 1:03:53
  SPEAKER_00: It might just be time to begin yet again.
• 1:03:56
  SPEAKER_00: Next week, we're continuing the theme of No Fail February with another amazing guest, Sean Telbre.
• 1:04:02
  SPEAKER_00: We dive right in with spot-on parroting wisdom and in the truth with why she wrote a book and has only recently faced her biggest fears to pursue her God-given gift of music.
• 1:04:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm also really excited to mention that we are gonna be sharing seven conversations during the lent season starting in March.
• 1:04:22
  SPEAKER_00: These all are gonna be conversations to encourage us as we reflect, remember, and celebrate rebirth.
• 1:04:28
  SPEAKER_00: Be sure and invite your friends and family to join along.
• 1:04:32
  SPEAKER_00: And invite them to tune in with you as we continue to pursue perspective, purpose, and plans for a simply wholehearted life.