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Love and Healing Addiction with Richard Taite · The Trauma Therapist

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Trauma Therapists podcast. My name is Gamiferson.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: I interview incredible people who've dedicated their lives to helping
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: those who've been impacted by trauma. A big thank you
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: to our sponsors and our guests who are supporting this show.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: Five four, three, two and one. Our folks, welcome back
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: to the podcast. Very excited to have back. Richard Tate, Richard.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: Welcome, Thank you, thanks for having me again.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: Richard is a founder and executive chairman of Carrera Treatment
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: Wellness and spa executive chairman of One Method Treatment Centers,
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: and the former founder of Cliffside Malibu, which is sold
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: in twenty eighteen. A leading figure in the addiction treatment
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: industry for over a decade, Richard is both the career
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: dedicated to helping people reclaim their lives from substance use
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: and mental health challenges. He's also the host of We're
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: Out of Time podcasts, currently ranked number three in Apple's
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: mental health category.
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: Check it Again, Check It Again?
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: What is it?
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: Number one? This morning?
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Number one shot where he explores congratulations.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: Because I was pissed off, okay that it wasn't number
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: one for like two weeks and I just didn't understand it.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: So we did a little work and it's back to
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: number one, sorry.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: Isolation No Worries, where he explores urgent issues around treatment, recovery,
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: and wellness. All right, so you've been on the podcast before,
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: excuse mean where we dive dove into your background, your story,
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: which is really inspiring for obvious reasons. But you know,
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: as I was listening back on that, I'm wondering what
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: the hell keeps you going? And I don't mean I
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: mean specifically, Well.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: Look, you know it's twofold, right, I mean, I can
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: you know if I think I've said this, you know,
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: And I don't mean you know, it sounds uncool when
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: I say it, But you know, if you're one of
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: the best in the world at giving people back your
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: loved ones, you know, or their loved ones, and you
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: don't do it, you're a dick, you know. So even
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: though I didn't have to come back to work, you know,
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: I'm a dad.
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: I mean, is there anything more.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: Esteemable than giving a father and a mother back their child?
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: Right? That's rhetorical.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: So look, I'm fifty nine years old. I ain't eighty nine, right,
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: So I gotta do something. And this is what I do.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: And you know, it doesn't matter if I like it
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: or not. Right, it doesn't matter if I want to
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: do it or not. What matters is is if deeds
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: doing right, and so you do it right.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: But there's what I'm looking interested in, really is the
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: thread with a bridge between the what needs to be
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: done from your definition and how you get up someone
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: with your past, with your history, with your trauma, with
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: the addiction behind you. Is that something you have to
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: dredge through every day? Are you still struggling? I mean
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: to the degree that we're all struggling right now.
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: Now I know what you're saying. Listen, I just wrote
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: a book about transcendence. Okay, addiction doesn't have any hold
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: on me whatsoever. Okay, this is something you can transcend. Okay,
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: you can.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: This doesn't.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: And all I'm saying is when I say transcendence from
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: drug addiction and alcoholism is excuse me, It's just not
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: who I am anymore. Right. So, when, for example, when
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: I have a glass of wine, right, if I start
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: to feel it, what I do is I push the
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: wine across the table and I go, that feels nice.
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: Well, what does the alcoholic do the alcoholic.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: Rich says, Oh if that feels good, more feels better, Right,
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: I don't have that note anymore. So yeah, that's that's it.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: What tell us about transcendence? How did that come about?
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: Well, transcendence comes about if you do the work. Right. So,
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: I'm in therapy three times a week. I've been in
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: therapy a minimum of three times a week for twenty years. Okay,
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: I sold the finest clinical team in human history.
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: Okay. I mean you.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: Can't walk out of that past with no talent and
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: no skill.
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: That's impossible. I mean I'd have to.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: Be brain dead, right, So right, So if you do
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: the work, and you not just I tried, you know,
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: I'm working on it, none of that bullshit I'm talking about.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: If you do the work, okay, then and I'm not
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: saying you got to paint my house or dig a ditch.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: I'm talking about being cracked, open and honest and with it,
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: with a desire to make change, to change your bad
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: behaviors and replace them with good ones.
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: Right, that's what I'm talking about. Got it?
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah, I got it? And what what did you
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: need to change? What have you changed? Well?
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: I mean, look, first thing, that happened to me was,
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: you know, in early sobriety, I had a child, and
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: I was always in therapy, but while we were pregnant,
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: I really worked on what it's like for that new
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: chapter in my life.
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: And so I always say that you can't stay sober
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: unless you replace what used to be most valuable, which
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: was you're using right, with something of equal or more value. Okay,
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: And for me, equal or more value was living like
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: an elegant man, right, finding a woman that I'd want
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: to have children with.
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: And having a child.
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: So once I had a child, right, that's the first
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: step in Oh, that's.
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: No longer who I am.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: Okay, If you have the tools that you've been working
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: on that entire time, it's just an evolution. And then
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: you have little baby steps like that in your life,
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: little winds, little winds, little winds, little winds, right, and
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: they accumulate until and with time and consistency.
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: Right, you change. Let me ask you a question, what.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: Are you fifty five sixty two?
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: You're sixty two? Okay?
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: You the same guy at sixty two that you were.
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: At forty two.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: No, of course, not, of course not.
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: So at a certain point, if you're living. You're if
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: you try to live a life where you're striving to
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: be your best self and that's the goal, to live
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: your best life. Okay, this is what happens. You transcend
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: for most. For I'm sorry, for some, Okay, it's not. Look,
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: when somebody goes to an AA meeting, okay and they
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: leave in AA, they always tell you, oh, those people
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: are out dying.
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: Okay, they're not. Some of them are.
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: But some of them have graduated and are now living
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: their lives not labeled as a sick person.
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: For the rest of their lives.
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: Now that was a speed bump, and they're moving on
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: and they're thriving.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: I think, Richard, one of the things that really intrigues
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: me and inspires me about you is you. I mean,
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: maybe not unlike everyone, but you seem to be a
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: mixture of certainly degradation, this kind of life that you
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: were leading, but also this inspired person, this struggle, right,
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: this need to help, mixed with this addiction, you know,
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: living in these hotels. But I'm really curious what was
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: the switch for you?
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: You know, it's never one thing, Okay, people that tell you,
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: I mean, some people have one a specific event, but
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: For me, it was that life of using is exhausting.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: It's exhausting. Think about it. You're up for on average,
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: six to eight days at a time, eating a big
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: mac once a week to keep yourself alive. Okay, I
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: mean you've broken all your teeth because you got that
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: that cocaine clamp down. Okay. I was a buck forty seven,
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: dripping wet gray. Okay, I mean I was out of money.
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: I was homeless for a little bit. It's like enough,
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: it's exhausting. You get older, it's exhausting, and when you
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: run out of money, that's the worst. That's the worst.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: Detoxing with no where to go, with nowhere to go
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: the worst.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: I started off asking about transcendence. How did this book
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: come about?
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: Well, there's a book called Changing for Good by uh
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: doctor James Purchaska and uh uh doctor Declemente and doctor Norcross,
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: and they actually figured out how human beings change their behaviors. Okay,
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: it's called the trans Theoretical Model of Behavior change. And
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: he wrote this book and I'm reading it and I
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: don't understand it.
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: It's so heavy.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: So I take this book to my therapist John, and
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: I'm like, we're gonna read this book line by line,
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: and you're gonna tell me what the hell this means, Okay,
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: And so we'd read the first paragraph and he'd say
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: that means that.
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: The thought, I'm like, why didn't he say that?
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: And we did this for the entire book. Now I
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: was irate.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: And the reason I was irate is because you know,
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: I'm not unsophisticated when it comes to therapy, and the
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: fact that I don't understand something because it's so academic
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: and so heady just infuriated me, because it's like mental masturbation.
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: These academics get together and they go to their cocktail
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: parties and they pontificate about this bullshit and a bullshit
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: and they've never conveyed it to anybody because the people
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: on the ground, the therapists, have no chance of understanding
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: what the hell they wrote.
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: So I wrote the book for dummies. I just wrote
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: the book over for dummies, and then I sent it
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: to doctor Prechaska and I said, hey, my name's Richard Taate.
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: I got sober.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: My therapist used your stages of change to move me
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: through them into recovery. And I wrote this book, and
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: I want to know if I got any of it right,
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: any of it wrong, because because I don't want to
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: put out your work, okay if it's wrong, but nobody
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: can understand your shit, So I had to do it.
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: That's basically what I told him. And so six weeks
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: later he wrote me back and he said, this is beautiful.
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: He said, can I write a blurb for you? And
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: I said, if you do it on the cover and
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: he said yeah. So that was my first book, and
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: I called it what was an ending addiction for good right,
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: And but I didn't talk about transcendence. I talked about
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: the first five stages.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: Which are what just for our listeners, briefly talking about
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: the stages of change.
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, there's a pre contemplation, contemplation, pre action, action, maintenance,
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: and transcendence okay, and they go through various stages, like
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: the first one is complete denial.
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: I don't have a problem, okay.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: All the way to action coming into a treatment center
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: and taking.
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: Doing the work.
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: And then maintenance, which is aftercare and living the right
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: way and getting little winds, little winds, you know, making
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: certain that the discipline and the patterns stay right, that
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: you're consistent every day. So that you know, the neuroplasticity
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: will start working, and you know, everything becomes habitual, that
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: bad behaviors become habitual, good behaviors become habitual. But the
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: reason I talked about transcendence this time, well, let's go back.
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: The reason I didn't talk about transcendence last time is
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: because I didn't want to kill anybody. Okay, because everybody thinks, oh,
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: I'm the one that transcends.
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: No, you don't, okay.
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: I didn't transcend this thing until I add sixteen years sober, okay,
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: And I work in recovery all day long and help
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: whoever I can. You, newcomer, do you don't need to
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: know about transcendence right now. That's only going to hurt you.
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: But after I sold cliff Side, I had a different
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: life and I had transcended it, and I wanted to
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: write a book about thriving in the world, not just
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: getting sober. I wanted to write a book about thriving
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: because that's why the hell you get sober in the
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: first place, To live a life that well, that's why ah,
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: I got sober. I want to live a life that
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: I can be proud of.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: Is this attainable for everyone?
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: Of course it is. Of course it is. All you
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: have to do is humble. Look, people go, I want
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: to go to therapy. Shut up. Therapy isn't something you
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: have to do. It's something you get to do. It's
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: the ultimate luxury.
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: It is.
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: It's the ultimate luxury. It's how elegant men and women
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: deal with their stressors.
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: That's it, the end. Okay.
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: So you know if you're doing that, okay, with a
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: desire to be your best self. This shit happens naturally,
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: but it happens when it happens.
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: Okay. And here's how you tell.
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: If you're thinking about that glass of wine, then you
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: haven't transcended.
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: I don't think about it.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: Five glasses of wine in the last twelve months, Okay,
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: I don't think about it. Oh I'm gonna go out
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: and have a nice bottle of wine. The second I
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: start thinking about that, I'll never drink again because I
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: know better.
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: But if you're not thinking about it, and you're at
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: dinner and somebody has wants to order a bottle of wine, okay,
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: and then.
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: They hop you off, who gives a shit?
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: It's fine okay for me, right, not for most Okay,
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: But Isn't that the goal?
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: Isn't that the goal.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: To where it's not calling you all the time and
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: you're not struggling and it's effortless. That's the goal and
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: you can get there. Okay, there is no disease. The
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: disease model is horseshit. There is no disease. Where's the
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: disease agent, where's the tumor, where's the virus? Where is it?
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: It's stupid.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: Why is it stupid?
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: Because it's a bunch of jerk offs at the DSM
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: getting around in a circle talking a bunch of shit
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: that they don't know about, and then creating something just
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: for billing purposes. That's what these things are for. They're
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: for billing codes. Okay, And you know every time they
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: want to build for something, they create a new disease.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: One of this is, as I'm sure you know, one
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: of the thoughts on the disease model is, or the
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: critical criticisms, is that it takes the onus, takes the
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: ownership off of the individual. Right, so it's a disease essentially, it's.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: Not Okay, Okay, listen, you're getting into the Okay, listen,
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: this is why they changed They changed the terminology from
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: drug addiction and alcoholism to substance use disorder.
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: Okay, who did that help?
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: Tell me?
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: Who did it help?
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: It doesn't help not to tell the addict the truth. Okay,
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: Clarity is power. Dude, you're a drug addict and an alcoholic,
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: and that's okay because this is a speed bump.
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: But let me tell you the truth.
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: Because I didn't lose two and a half decades to
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: substance use disorder.
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: Okay, it was a drug addict. And if somebody would have.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: Said, I think it's substance use disorder, okay, it's like, Okay,
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: that doesn't sound so bad. Being a drug addict sucks, right, Okay,
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: So just tell people the truth. Okay, they made it soft.
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: They soft pedaled it for what because somebody doesn't want
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: to be rigorously honest with where they are in their.
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: Arc of life.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: Who were they? Who were they protecting? Whose feelings were
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: they protecting?
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: So how does your philosophy, your outlook, this outlook that
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: we're talking about that you're expressing right now, how does
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: this translate into your program?
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: Well, look, I believe that everything starts with a baseline
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: or a founding of love. That's it. Okay, So let
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: me tell you what I mean by that. So we
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: don't have people here at Carrera or one method okay,
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: that is desensitized to the process of helping another human being.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: There's another way to say that, if you lost the love,
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: you're gone. Because this is a love call.
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: People get to treatment okay, broken, destroyed, shame based okay.
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: And a lot of these people do the tough love
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: thing even when they say they know. Okay, some of
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: the staff members the whole thing because the training isn't there.
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: Here, let me give you an example. Thirty people, thirty
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: one people left within a few weeks of me opening,
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: of me wanting to open Carera. I didn't even open
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: it yet, and so thirty one people came from Cliffside
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: to join me at Krrera. Ten in one hour. Must
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: have felt like the end of a Godfather movie.
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: But then you know, we grew and it was we
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: needed more than just our thirty one, right. So people
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: would come to me and they'd say, rich, I need help.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: Can you hire me somebody. I'd be like no, and
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: they're like, but rich I need the help, and I'm like, good,
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: you hire the person you know who the good souls
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: are in this industry. You know who our people are
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: with the good souls. Okay, you're responsible for them. So
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: the first one hundred people at our center were by
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: invitation only, just the lovers. Okay, yeah, great qualifications, did ten,
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: twenty and sometimes thirty thousand hours of treatment experience, but
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: they never lost the love. They'll take a call in
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: the middle of the night, They'll get in their bathrobe
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: and go straight to the center.
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: Okay, because there's that's what it takes.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: When you're in treatment and you're doing it the right way,
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: you do whatever it takes.
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: That is what our place is about.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: When potential clients come to you, is there some type
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: of a screening process? Is how do you make people
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: understand what they're walking into?
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: Well, not everybody gets to go to Carrera.
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: Okay. We only have eighteen beds.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: Okay, so we probably market to one tenth of one
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: percent of people in the country. Okay, so financially it's
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: prohibitive for a lot, but it ain't just finances.
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: You know, we've walked in I've had people who are
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: just abusive, okay, and we knew we're going to upset
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: the apple cart, and we just we couldn't admit him
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: that happened sometimes because we love our clientele, right, and
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: the whole in one apple can ruin the whole barrel
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: for everybody, right, So I know that that wasn't the saying.
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: But I did my best. Yeah, and so that's it.
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: You know, you you know, listen, you want to hear
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: the funniest story. The funniest story is one royal family
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: wanted one of the guys to come here and take
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: over one whole house, six beds, so he wasn't bothered
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: and the only condition he had was he wanted to
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: bring his cat. I don't do cats. That was that
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: was a fortune loss. Okay, but I don't do cats.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: Not everybody gets to come to Krrea, is what I'm saying. Okay,
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: you've got to we make certain that it's You've got
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: to make certain that the people mix.
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: You've got to do the best you can.
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: Okay, it doesn't always work, but most of the time
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: we can get it right.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: Right. With all that being equal, though, if someone walks in,
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: are you assessing for their their readiness? Are you assessing for.
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: Because there's only two types of people that come to treatment,
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: the people to get the heat off that want to
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: take the heat off, right, and the ones that want
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: to get well, what is the heat off? The heat
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: off is I don't want my wife to leave me,
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: I don't want.
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: To lose my.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: Job, I don't want to go to jail. I don't
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: you know that kind of stuff. So they don't really
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: want to get well, So I don't care about what
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: their readiness is. We take you know, half those people
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: will stay sober. So you know when people say no,
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: you have to want to get sober, that's that statement
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: has killed more people than anything. Okay, you don't need
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: to get sober, because you don't need to want to
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: get sober. And the reason I know that for sure
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: is because there's only two types of people that come
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: to treatment and fifty percent of them and it is
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: it's about fifty to fifty and the fifty percent that
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: have no intention of getting sober, about half of those
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: people end up getting sober. So I know for a
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: fact that's the way it works, because it's not anecdotal,
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: it's field research at this point, right.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: So help me understand that, you know, you don't need
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: to want to get sober. No, Well, you just need
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: to walk in through the door.
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: That's right.
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: Now here's the good part. It doesn't work for everybody. Okay,
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: it works for us. Let me tell you why it
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: works for us. The reason it works for us is
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: when you come in during your detox process, whether it's three,
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: five days, whatever it is, you're going through that detox
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: process and you're being monitored by everybody. Notes are being
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: taken and the therapists behind the scene are fighting for you.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: What does that mean? That means they're in clinical meetings, right,
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: And one of my therapists will say, well, I think
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: I should treat Bobby because of this thing and I
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: got him on that, And then this other therapist will say, no, no, no, no, no,
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: I get him. And the reason I get him is
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: because of X Y Z, right, And so they literally
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: fight to get the client and they sit, but it's
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: got to be consensus, right, they sit In other words
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: I'm talking about there. We spend more time doing that,
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: probably between ten and twenty hours of that. We spend
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: more time just figuring out who the best therapist is
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: for this particular client than most places spend treating the
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: client itself.
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: That's never been done before. Okay.
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: So when you have that type of setup, okay, you
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: get better results.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: Intentional, right, contentional. Let's go back to love. What I mean,
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: everyone knows what love is, but what does that look
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: like in practice? So you've got to have the love?
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: Okay?
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: What does that mean?
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: Okay, well what does that mean? What that means is
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: somebody is walking into treatment and the first thing they
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: have to do is this, Yes, okay, I can hang
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: out here a little bit.
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: Okay, they feel safe, that's the first thing. Okay. Then
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: they have to feel supported. Right.
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: So a drug addict or an alcoholic, someone with substance
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: use disorder will walk in okay, completely shame based, but
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: also distrusting. Right, they've been to other treatment centers. They
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: know it's about the money, all this bullshit, right, and
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: they're not wrong. But then they come here. And alcoholics
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: and drug addicts are very very smart people. We are
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: extremely talented when we get sober. But we know we've
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: got a bullshit radar, and so if it's not true,
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: if it's not authentic, we know it immediately. So what
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: does support look like? Okay, anytime someone has a problem,
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: you have a therapist come to him immediately so that
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: he doesn't sit with this discomfort without being able to
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: process it and get to the other side of it quickly.
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: That's not done. That's not done. That's why nobody leaves, okay,
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: because they're contained in a cocoon.
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: Listen. I just went to the center.
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: The other day and I'm watching somebody ask for I'm
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: just visiting some friends, not working, not doing anything.
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: Just you know, I can't.
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: You know, I live in Puerto Rico and I came
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: in to La and I want to see my friends, right,
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: So a lot of them work work at the center,
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: so I go to see it and I witness this
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: guy at the last minute ask for something totally differ
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: for the chef okay to eat and the chef said
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: absolutely without Now I know that happens because I tell
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: people that happens, But this was as it's being served
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: and he's going to he put it all out and
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: then he went and made him a completely different thing okay,
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: And I just felt really good about it. That felt
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: loving to me. That's not something that would be done
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: at any center. But what I really loved was the
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: therapists who ate with the clients and sat there and
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: didn't go into their offices and actually processed with the
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: clients what they're doing and.
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: What's going on. But then I noticed something.
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: I noticed my therapist taking her place, but taking other
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: people's plates and stacking them and taking it and everybody said,
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: thank you. Now, this is probably the single most sought
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: after therapist in our industry. There's not anybody who wouldn't
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: hire her to be their clinical director. I can promise
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: you that. But she has the heart of a servant
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: and she does it joyfully. And when you do that,
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: and so do I. So when you do that from
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: the top down, it filters into the rest of the organization, right,
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: and they understand that you have to do this thing
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: with the heart of a servant joyfully. It's their turn.
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: We had a turn. It's their turn.
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: And now being the client, the client, the client's turn
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: for what to receive? What to be.
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: Lovey, to receive the love. We received the love when
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: we got sober. They're going to receive the love here
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: today and we're going to hold them and make certain
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: that they're okay in the world. Well, all they got
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: to do is be open and honest.
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: What did you.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: Jus, how do you how come on Richard, you speak
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: about this, I don't know if you do it. It comes
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: across as you speak about this, like this is the
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: way to do How did you get to this point
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: where you're sitting here where that is the ingredient, that's
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: the nurturing that's needed to do this.
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: Work because just because things were done a certain way
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: for a long time doesn't mean that's the best way
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: to do it. Better is better, okay, And I don't
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: care how other people do their things. I'll try anything,
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: and I've tried everything. Okay, better is better.
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: When did you experience that love?
• 32:02
  Speaker 3: When did all experience in that.
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: Setting when you was like, this is freaking what I needed.
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: I never had a treatment experience. I never went to rehab.
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: I went to sober living where I felt the love there.
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: Ended up buying that sober living and then I ended
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: up giving it back to them after I made it perfect.
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: But I had sober living therapy and AA and that's
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: the as well as other things, And that's the program
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: primarily that I made for myself by accident. I just
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: knew that that's what I needed to do.
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: That said was their love sprinkled throughout that I felt
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: the love and all of it.
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: Okay, I felt the love and all of it.
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: I got listen. I got really lucky.
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: I ended up at Sober Living where I'm still friends
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: with a bunch of guys that I went to Sober
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: Living with very close still with one of them. I
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: felt the love with my therapist Margie. She was wonderful.
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: And I've been with John now for eighteen years writing
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: Best in the World. Feel the love there. I felt
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: the love in AA when I went to AA. You
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: know you go to AA, you know they're taught to
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: love the newcomer right away. And so I felt the
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: love so and that was important for me, and that
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: was the reason that I created what I call love
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: call right. I needed look, I needed to be loved.
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: Look.
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: The reason why alcoholics and drug addicts don't feel love
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: is because they're not known. In order to be loved,
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: you have to be known, right. If they don't know.
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: If you're not willing to show someone authentically who you are,
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: then you can never receive love because you haven't showed
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: anybody who you are, and because if you did, they
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: wouldn't love you.
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: So you can't take that in ever.
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: Right, There's simple things that you can do over twenty
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: years that you've been in this industry, that you learn
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: and you know, and like I said, you know, I
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: was on a talk show and some doctor says, yeah,
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: but you're not a doctor, right, And I'm like yeah,
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: he goes and he says and this is antidotal, And
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: I'm like, no, dude, it ain't anecdotal. When you give
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: ten thousand people back their loved ones and you've been
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: doing this twenty years, that's called field research. I'm the
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: guy the data is based on. Okay, no, no smart
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: ass remark for that.
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: All right, Richard. You know what, one of the reasons
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: why I love talking to you is obviously you're no bs,
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: but to hear you speaking about the power the necessity
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: of love is vital today, not just in addiction treatment
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: or recovery treatment, but in our world.
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: We starve for human touch, to be known for community.
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: We're starving for it. Yep, we're starving for it today.
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And I appreciate you. I appreciate your heart and
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: your compassion in this field. It's an inspiration.
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: Thanks man.
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: Listen.
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: The only thing I care about this time around, Okay,
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: And it's the only reason I do this type of stuff, okay,
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: is to beg parents to have the fatanyl conversation with
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: their children so that they don't have to deal with
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: the unconscionable pain of losing a child. That's why I
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: do these things, okay. And if you've got a kid
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: or a wife or a husband who's doing drugs right now,
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: even if they're doing it pills with the pharmacy, the
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: second they get cut off, man, they're going to be looking.
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: They're going to go to the street. They're going to
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: find a friend who can figure that out for them.
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: And you know the stats are between forty and seventy percent.
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: You get different figures all the time that these pills
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: and powders are laced with fentanyl on the street.
• 37:10
  Speaker 3: You know that's.
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: If this is if this is the world you're living in,
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: you've got to send your kid to treatment or your
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: loved one to treatment. Now now I'm not talking about
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: for pot or a little drinking. Okay, then you go
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: to the therapist and you work from there.
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: Okay. But a powder or a pill.
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, there is no discussion, There is no debate.
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: We're not going to talk about it. Get in the
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: damn car We're going to treatment. Okay, and that's it
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: the end. Okay. It's got to be that way, folks,
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: It's got to be that way. Otherwise the pain is
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: so great that if I think about it, I'll fall apart.
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: Okay, all right, Richard, how do people learn more about
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: you and what you're doing?
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: You can always call Carrera Treatment Wellness and SPA.
• 38:08
  Speaker 3: That c A R R A r A.
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: If you have a problem, if we can't help you
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: or send you to one of our affordable treatment centers,
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: we will find a place for you.
• 38:22
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 38:22
  Speaker 2: We don't ever want anybody to think because they can't
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: afford it, uh, we don't care about them, or we
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: don't want to help them. Your options aren't going to
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: be great, okay, but we got options okay.
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: And the podcast number one and Apple.
• 38:40
  Speaker 3: It's called We're Out of Time. We look at your tape.
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: It's the type of thing you want to watch and
• 38:44
  Speaker 3: I'll listen.
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: To really Okay. We'll have that link up here at
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: the show notes page at the Trauma Therapists podcast dot com.
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: Always great having you want here, Appreciate you. Thanks, all right,
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: take care. Two