Latest / Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha / Rabbi Moshe Haber Orchot Yashar -The Power of Truth and the Decay of Falsehood 2.1.26

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Rabbi Moshe Haber Orchot Yashar -The Power of Truth and the Decay of Falsehood 2.1.26 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

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  Before we just as a star of the side points.
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  The thing I didn't mention about two wish 5 downstairs is that
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  it's hard to find exact greatest sources, but it's pretty clear
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  that there's many in the name of fruits or fruit means fruit is a
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  right reference to our children in our offsprings.
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  They often make that connection. So the old suitable Lord, my
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  father brings some suitable are praying.
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  I may have few children of mainly that of focusing on your
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  children. So huh, they they talk about
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  praying for a newerthrol. We all bring this down and show
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  in the halahuts of praying for a good ethrol next year.
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  So it's a source of produce, which can refer to either fruit,
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  your children and all things and yes, even with all regarding the
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  treaty regarding fruit as well. Now let's get to this point.
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  So last week we we quoted pulled out of that show recorder of
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  Heinekenhefsky 7 and he has like a list of things that he says
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  steps for a person to become a great person.
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  So the first chapter we did happen last week.
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  I want to close at the chap this week.
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  It's about the significance of speaking the truth of Emmett.
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  I opened up with Emmett. We know the Torahs Emmett Moshe
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  Emmett, Emmett we know that that's a major quality that we
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  give to Torahs. It's true.
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  So we were saying last week that the, you know, speaking the
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  truth is a nice thing, but it is such an powerful, important
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  aspect of a person's life. A devil lies as it makes such a
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  big difference. It doesn't say something false.
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  I can't find. And simply, if you look at a
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  person, you say the guy who says a white lie here, a white lie
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  there, he wouldn't say that ruins the person's, you know,
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  his production in life and what he is as a person taking the
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  speaking, logically speaking, you couldn't see that the fact
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  that some people lie at times it's terrible.
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  You know, if someone, let's say he's, I don't know, he's going
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  on a flight and they ask him a question and he says a white
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  lie. You say, a guy's a terrible guy.
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  He's going to make a big difference and he's in business.
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  And he says a lie here, a lie there regarding something you're
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  like a buyer to buy ass. And when you made this product
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  and he says, oh, we made it just made it turns out it's a few
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  months old, such a making a major difference.
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  So it's hard to see. But the reality is, is that if a
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  person chooses to lie at times, he will eventually slowly decay
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  and it's going to make major difference over the course of
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  his life, even though it's hard to see.
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  Let's read them together. Not physically decay regarding a
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  few areas. One regarding him and Hashem, 2
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  regarding him and other people. I bet he exaggerated.
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  Well, that's how part of the question.
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  Fair. So first of all, the ground
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  Sandin says when I say yes, you know Eddie even physically.
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  But Sandin, it says the ground Sandin Boo it says about a
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  certain person thou the reem Emmet, if you always speak the
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  truth and Mateem below Zimanam, if someone always speaks the
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  truth, he gets to live out his full years, whatever.
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  There are lot of years that were there for him.
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  He doesn't have lawland or any sort of deviation from Hashem's
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  plan. He lives out his full years.
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  He speaks to Emmet. That's sugulasmag.
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  What's ever has the name, He's more important.
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  Call out the Vera met Vera Salah Shaf Sheikh.
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  If someone speaks the truth, he doesn't think or speak falsely.
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  Afilu devarim shiashova shade the bed of a bishlet kavinda
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  him. If he's totally totally true,
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  what Hashem does is Hashem makes his words true.
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  For example, if a rabbi makes sure to always speak the truth,
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  I shall make sure that that rabbi's words are actually
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  developed to be true. So if he never lies ever in his
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  life ever. And it's hard to find the first
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  who's really that way, but he's totally and fully honest and
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  also genuine, which is another point.
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  If he's totally delivering the truth and Hashem makes and every
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  word that he says ends up being true.
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  So now if he says it, but I ha, you should make a lot of money,
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  you should get married, you should have children, these, but
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  I hold these words that come out of his mouth.
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  Hashem make sure to deliver those words, says Saifuda
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  Hasidim. Why?
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  Because he's been consistent his whole life, God will assist him
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  and allow him to continue to be consistent.
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  I mean, that's a very important point.
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  In fact, one of the main ways the rabbis parrahot are held and
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  carry weight is this. The rabbi speaks a lot of Torah,
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  is very emit in his Torah, very emit in the words that he says.
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  Hashem allows everything he says to become true.
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  All right. And to me, the last point, the
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  most important point in a sense, is a reputation.
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  We all think if you think simply and you have a conversation with
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  someone, you say a white lie or you exaggerate a lot, or you
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  deviate from what's really honest.
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  So you think, big deal. They asked me a question.
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  I told them a question that makes me look better.
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  What's the big deal, right? What ends up happening over
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  time, and you've all seen this, is the reputation of that person
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  slowly starts to erode, even though when he says that lie, no
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  one catches him, right? So why would his reputation go
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  down? Why would he impact and hurt
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  himself to his faulty reputation?
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  I understand why Hashem doesn't. Like I understand that concept
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  that Hashem allows an honest person to remain true in his
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  words. I can understand that, and I can
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  even understand that Hashem gives him a great reward of
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  living his full life that I can accept as well.
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  But why would it destroy your reputation if you say something
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  that's not honest? If you get used to saying things
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  out of dishonest, if no one catches it but no one catches
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  it, why people always catch you? You are people catch you.
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  That's the answer. You like yourself.
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  The answer is very good. The answer is, is that when
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  people get used to lie, this starts to be a separation
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  between your reality and your words.
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  And you know you, me, when I say these lies from my vantage
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  point, I'm projecting these words.
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  No one can. No one knows my full history, so
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  no one really knows that my words are dishonest.
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  Let's just say I think in my mind I'm creating a world that
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  I'm painting a picture that's represents me.
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  These are my words, right? But, and no one's catching on.
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  So why would it be that it ruins my reputation?
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  The reason it ruins your reputation is because you really
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  are who you are. And you start saying these words
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  and you start living your life. Eventually people can tell
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  there's a difference between who you're saying, who you are.
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  And it's hard to explain how this happens.
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  But slowly but surely you start to deviate.
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  You're living in your life starts to deviate from the words
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  that you're saying. And he is saying is you're
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  talking about yourself in this manner.
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  And people can look at you and say, you know, it doesn't really
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  make sense. So and so is talking about how
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  much business he does, right? He took him how much business he
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  does. For some reason, he wants to
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  talk about it in a very wealthy way.
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  But you look at the guy, you look at the house and he lives
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  in, you look at the way he's living in life now.
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  It could be he has money stashed on those mattress, maybe.
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  But chances are this guy who talks about how much business
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  he's doing is not really doing that much business.
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  Or he's talking about his kids all the time.
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  You know, they accomplished this and they accomplished that and
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  they accomplished the other thing.
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  And you're looking at them and you're looking at his family.
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  You're not noticing them really come out to be such a big deal
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  and you're finally out and realizing that he's literally
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  blowing smoke as they call it. He's building a world that
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  doesn't exist and he never caught him on a light.
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  You never actually called him to be saying anything that's
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  dishonest, but you can tell that he's living one light and he's
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  staying another light and Hashem has no time for such people.
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  In fact, it says these are the words.
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  I bet you're not brims. First of all, they come out and
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  says, and this is extreme Kwama Khalid, the DBR, anyone that
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  switches his words kilo, it is if ovaira vadazra.
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  Can you accept that? I mean, I don't think you might
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  give many kilos ovaira Vadazra, but can you accept the idea of
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  someone who's a sketch, someone's a liar as a vadazra,
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  What would be the shot even in that?
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  How can you go down that road? Even in your mind?
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  It's like he served idols. And what do you think the shot
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  is? If someone lies, what I'd say is
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  a habitual liar. It's like he served idols.
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  The only logic I have, and I think this is correct, you think
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  social doesn't see what he's saying is because the same way
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  serving idols is a completely dishonest existence.
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  You're serving the wrong thing. Someone who serves idols is
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  living a fake life. He's serving the wrong thing.
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  I'd say that if he speaks of false existence, you know what
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  it is a false he lives a false existence.
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  And that's the same idea. And the reason this is more
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  relevant today than he used to be is because we have a little
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  bit of a unhealthy cycle that we live in.
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  One, is that popularity and what people say about us is a big
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  part of our life today. Two, we have the capability of
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  projecting a world. Marketing.
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  Exactly. Marketing in business is one
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  thing, and marketing who you are is a big part of our life.
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  And we have many areas today to display a false existence.
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  What's a false existence? A guy went on vacation and he
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  takes his picture. Key Lewis The greatest things of
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  sliced bread and like everyone else, it were us and Downs.
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  On the vacation, there was something that worked out.
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  The food was good at some days it wasn't so good.
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  The other day the weather was good, it wasn't so good.
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  The hotel room wasn't exactly what he expected.
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  He had ups and downs. But he portrays a picture of
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  perfection, right? A guy makes it seem like his
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  family is rolling. He rents a crazy house in the
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  summer. He makes something like
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  everything's going 100% and we all know, or maybe we don't
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  know, a deep dump. There are issues like a wild
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  size issues. So projecting a fake existence,
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  which is what people love to do today.
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  In fact, it's more prevalent today than he used to be because
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  in the old days, you could project.
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  You could project. There was no Instagram.
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  There's no way to publicize yourself.
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  You are where you are all right. And if you can't afford
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  something, you are not that. But that's still a lie.
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  Projecting, projecting a false existence is under the same
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  family as a lie. I give you a extreme example.
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  Nothing wrong with this. A people do weddings and what do
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  they do? They piggyback on someone else's
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  wedding, right? But that's not a not a St. or a
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  lie. It's very common, not a citizen
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  rule. It's a nice thing by the first
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  person, nothing wrong, but if they if that's how they live
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  their life always, which is they're trying to make
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  themselves seem like they have more than they have.
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  They're trying to make themselves seem like they're
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  living a life that's not really fully their life.
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  It's an unhealthy road to go down to be huh posers.
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  You have to be true to exactly to be to go down that road.
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  You end up hurting yourself in the end.
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  Why? Because you end up having to
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  feed that image. One thing for the wedding thing.
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  I could see doing that for sure. I'm sure I would do the same
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  thing if the flowers has flowers in the day before, I'm sure I
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  would say why not piggyback on those flowers?
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  I think you have to pay anyway for it today.
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  Why not? It's called freshening off.
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  They charge a few thousand. But the overall theme is that if
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  you get used to projecting the sun projection, the world has to
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  see you in that light of your mind and simply you have a hard
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  time living the other existence. So you're living where you're
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  living and you're projecting where you're projecting.
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  It's not the same. So being dishonest ends up over
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  time having negative effects. So it being a person who always
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  speaks to Ms. I'll give you a classic example.
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  A rabbi who was asked how the whole questions, what's the best
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  answer The rabbi has to get used to known.
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  I don't know exactly the greatest answer the rabbi can
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  have. I get back.
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  I don't know why you seem like you don't know everything.
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  Well, that's that's news flash. Rabbis don't know everything,
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  right? They can't know everything.
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  They learn what they learn. They don't know what they don't
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  learn. They don't learn the entire
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  world. And if they make it seem like
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  they do, it's only because, I mean, I'm sure there's some of
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  the Zaleen will do. But the average person, the
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  average rabbi, even if they make it seem like they know
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  everything, it's only because they played the game very well.
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  And if you're living your life playing the game, it'll show
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  over time. It will show.
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  The people who know will be able to tell this person it's putting
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  on a show and it'll it'll be able to be noticeable over time.
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  If you make it seem like you know everything, it turns out
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  you know nothing. Even the Gemara that tells us
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  when are you allowed to lie? When are you allowed to lie?
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  Three areas. There are three areas you
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  allowed to lie. Take him out.
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  That says 1. When it comes to what Gemara you
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  let, we'll see where it is that 2 When it comes to areas of
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  privacy, right? Understandable whites and Ute
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  three. Well, see that ally.
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  If someone came and stayed by a certain house and now they want
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  to know, now another person comes to you and says, you know,
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  they came to the town, where do you stay?
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  You don't need to tell them where you stay.
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  You could even deviate from the truth where you stay.
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  Why? Because you don't want to give
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  away that host. And now that host can be
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  bombarded. And that applies also to
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  fundraising. You don't have to give away your
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  list. Someone asks you for your list.
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  You don't need to give it away. Why?
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  Because you're going to put a lot of pressure on that original
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  host, on that original donor. The three areas you'll not lie
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  are the privacy of you and your family and this areas.
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  Why? Because in these areas, the
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  Torah is sensitive for a certain point.
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  When it comes to the Quran, the Torah is sensitive.
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  You remain a humble person, so you're not portray like you know
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  everything. That's the one area.
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  Secondly, privacy. It's a new, it's understandable.
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  And thirdly, we want to harm other people.
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  So you can lie in those areas. That's it.
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  And even in those cases where you're allowed to be dishonest,
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  even those scenarios, you don't outright lie.
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  You deviate from saying something that's fully honest.
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  I'll give you another example, Musharra banner and I'll, I'll
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  press you. It asked to go out of Messiah
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  for three days, right? He didn't, he didn't say the
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  truth, that's for sure. But he didn't, you know, say
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  we're going to come back. He just said we're going to go
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  out for three days. And that's part of the point.
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  When you deviate from the truth, even in scenarios that you're
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  allowed to, you never say a flat out lie.
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  But the overall theme is to recognize that even though it
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  doesn't feel like it's a negative aspect of life, it
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  doesn't feel like he can hurt anybody when you say that.
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  Why lie? Who cares if the airline feels?
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  Who cares, right? Even sadly, people do this in
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  business. Who cares?
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  I'm trying to make some money. But all over the time,
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  eventually your reputation goes down to other people, to Hashem,
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  and you destroy your own way of life because you start to buy
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  into your own life. First, this is somebody else.
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  Eventually it's to yourself. You have to buy into that now.
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  You need to live that life. How many people do you know who
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  wear designer clothes who don't have money?
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  Lots of people I like, lots of people with.
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  That boy or they. Wear a nice watch.
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  I understand that's how I like, but it's in the family of trying
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  to be right. But he's projecting a world that
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  isn't honest and it plays into the same pictures, not a light.
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  Then he came in to sit. That's true, but they project a
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  world that is not really theirs and eventually they have to live
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  up to that and that gets them crazy.
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  That's what it is. Not actually a light, but it's
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  in the same family and those who make it seem like they're living
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  a certain life and they're not living that life.
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  Same idea terribly, a light per SE, but it is deviating from the
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  reality, correct? And it ends up playing into a
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  very unhealthy world. Today, in the world of social
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  media, it's a big part of people's problems is the fact
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  that they need to project every day and every moment needs to be
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  awesome. To the outside world, that's
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  full. News flash, not every day is
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  awesome, right? Things don't work out.
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  I know certain people that I talk to, I get nervous talking
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  to them because they always make it like everything is a success.
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  And I know from my own situations, not everything is
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  success. Not every child behaves
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  perfectly and every moment of life is happily every every day.
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  We all know that not every speech is 100% destroy.
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  In the younger generation, they want to work as they see
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  everybody else as what they have.
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  I mean, think that they it came easy and now they don't want to
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  work or they give up on it, does it?
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  They took a survey, they said that.
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  I see. Percent of the people they asked
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  the question, is the American dream still alive?
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  Will you be able to buy a house? 60% of the generation of 30 and
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  under said it's dead. I'll never be able to because
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  they're always looking at. The top people.
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  Traveling. Do we?
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  I don't know because I'm not sure it's because it's could be
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  that does it? What does it have to do a line?
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  Now he's saying about social media element.
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  I hear you, man. The social media aspect.
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  Oh, oh, the Apple, he's right. Apple is right.
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  I don't know if it's 2% right. I'm just, I'll close At this
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  point is everybody is a person who educated his children to
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  speak the truth. Isla Kardos writes Claude Gadot.
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  It's a very important rule for her father.
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  It's a very important rule for her father.
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  Love. She has been no father raising
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  his children to make sure the children speak the honest truth.
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  That's a way to applaud this very much.
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  He children say something. He answered the question and he
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  said no, no, no. What is happening is close.
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  This crap request had happened. Did you have a test?
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  No, I didn't have a test. He said, oh, the teacher turns
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  out he gave us a pop up quiz. They give you their answers and
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  really it's a big deal of kids saying story.
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  The truth is when they get used to lying, they get used to lying
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  and it becomes second nature to them and it leads down the road
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  that we're talking about. It's not a road you want to go
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  down. I bet lying to make people feel
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  good. OK, so that is an area.
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  I think it says he lied to a brave.
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  I think I'm going to say she looks beautiful, right?
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  To be ugly. I should give the ugly to talk
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  to him, not the husband only lies even though the woman that
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  come by and say, oh, the bride, did you see her?
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  All right, so that's an area. Again, it's a very dangerous
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  area to go down. But the glass says you should do
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  it for a bride lying for Shalom. Again, an area that can be done.
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  But I've seen many people who started off lying for Shalom and
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  now they just lie because they just want him.
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  He became part of the second age.
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  These are areas going to be someone buy it all these areas.
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  Be careful about those areas when it comes to educating the
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  children. Make them speak the truth
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  because they'll get used to living the truth and I'll make
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  them for a different life. That's overall idea.
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  Get them and convince them to speak the truth.
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  For example, reward them when they speak the truth and don't
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  punish them. Classic example.
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  The parent asked like what happened right?
• 19:01
  They got into a fight to have a bloody nose.
• 19:03
  What happened? Now the kid says you're on the
• 19:05
  truth. He might be at fault if he lies,
• 19:09
  he won't be on faults. Sometimes they ask the kid the
• 19:11
  fact the kid says the truth and then they yell at him, right?
• 19:15
  We know what that tells him. Next time cut her off line,
• 19:18
  right? So that's why it's smarter if
• 19:21
  you're going to get the truth out of them, it's smarter they
• 19:24
  recommend and say beforehand, listen, you tell me what
• 19:27
  happened, I'm not going to do anything to you.
• 19:29
  Nothing's going to happen. And even if that means that
• 19:31
  they're at fault, at least they got used to saying the truth and
• 19:35
  that leads down the road that we're talking about over here.
• 19:37
  So overall, when someone gets used to being an habitual liar,
• 19:41
  they ruin themselves. When it comes to Hashem, they
• 19:44
  ruin out their overall, the Hashem does not want to be
• 19:47
  around them. The Shaheena does not rest with
• 19:49
  them. Part 1.
• 19:51
  Secondly, if they lie, they ruin their reputation toward other
• 19:54
  people, right? And I think thirdly, they ruin
• 19:57
  themselves in their own way of life because if you get used to
• 20:01
  speaking falsely, you eventually.
• 20:03
  Get used to that mindset and you start to live a light.
• 20:06
  And that led to what we were talking about earlier with the
• 20:08
  social media idea. And you start to portray
• 20:10
  something that isn't true. And now you need that world to
• 20:13
  be your world again. Hashem, other people and
• 20:17
  yourself. All those areas get harmed when
• 20:21
  a person speaks falsely. And how about speaking the
• 20:23
  truth? People like when they know
• 20:26
  someone is honest, right? News reporter, I know I'll give
• 20:30
  you a classic example. We'll close to this basketball
• 20:34
  guys, right? They always have the hot news.
• 20:36
  So there are certain guys out there that jump to say the story
• 20:39
  before the story is publicized. And originally they were a big
• 20:42
  deal. Over time the reputation got
• 20:45
  weaker. There was a guy he's still
• 20:47
  around today who jumps at every baseball piece of news, right?
• 20:53
  And originally he was pretty much a big deal.
• 20:55
  Today he's still around. He's not as big a deal.
• 20:58
  And my opinion, the reason why he's not a big deal is because
• 21:02
  he jumped too fast too many times and he misreported
• 21:05
  stories. And because of that, his
• 21:08
  reputation went down, right? There was a basketball, the
• 21:10
  famous basketball guy who was very big when, you know, when
• 21:14
  certain players are making their decisions and they're not going
• 21:17
  to go beyond that point, he's a very big deal.
• 21:19
  He's not as big a deal. We're we're in click bait
• 21:21
  already, right? And the more these news
• 21:24
  reporters try to push these things, they think that they're
• 21:26
  getting to the head of the line because everyone's going to
• 21:28
  quote them and quote them and quote them, and eventually their
• 21:31
  reputation goes down. That's the same idea.
• 21:33
  It feels good, immediately helps you, but over time, it ruins
• 21:39
  Khash and Hashem reputation and your own way of life.
• 21:42
  When you don't, you're not willing to speak the truth.
• 21:44
  Instead, sacrifice a little bit, speak the truth, and over time,
• 21:49
  your reputation in these two areas will build.
• 21:51
  We'll start with this.