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SMNTY Classics: Coming Out to Strangers · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Anny and Smantha and alcome stuff and
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: I ever told you a Protection of iHeart Radio.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: And for today we are bringing.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Back a classic that we did after we did our
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: audio book, which is still an experience I'm processing in
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: some ways, but in this specific episode, I was talking
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: about the experience of coming out as gay to people
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: you've never met and what that's like.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: Am I continuing series on queerbating.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: And what it's like, So please enjoy this classic episode.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to stuff.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: Wman never told you Protection of iHeart Radio, and welcome
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: to another edition of Half Hour. As always, drink responsibly, listen, responsibly,
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: do everything responsibly if you choose to do any of
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: those things. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, what are you
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: sitting on, Samantha.
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: I am drinking bubbly water once again this time we
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: so my partner works events and sometimes from those events
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: he gets like extras that are left behind by talent,
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: and they left behind watermelon flavor bubbly pretty good?
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: Oh nice? Yes, yeah, that.
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: Might be a new flavor I'll have to venture out.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: To, especially if you're pineapple going away still very sad?
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, I'm sad for you, what about you?
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: I am sitting on a light beer that shall remain nameless.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: But it is interesting because in this happy hour, I
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: kind of wanted to talk about our recent experience recording
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: the audiobook, but also kind of some like queer updates
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: with me because it's a Pride Month happy hour, but like, I.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: Don't normally have beer on hand.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: Mostly because I walked to the store and it's heavy
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: to carry, so I don't normally have it. But we
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: had such a busy, stressful week recording this audio book
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: that a good friend of mine, Katie, who's been on
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: the show, dropped off my favorite light beer outside of
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: my door because I was like, I'm too tired to
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: do I've done. It was very kind, so I'm enjoying that.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: But it's also funny that you mentioned kind of the
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: bubbly water because a past sponsor, not current sponsor, I
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: don't believe hints, sent us a ridiculous amount of product
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: to be frank.
• 3:19
  Speaker 4: Very generous.
• 3:20
  Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, sorry, yes, But Samantha and I, as we've
• 3:30
  Speaker 5: talked about, we were so nervous about recording this audiobook
• 3:35
  Speaker 5: and we were so lucky and I'm going to talk
• 3:38
  Speaker 5: about it more in a second.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: I'm sure Samantha you have thoughts about it too.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: But we were so lucky with the team we had,
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: who were both women, were very kind and held our hands.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: We were clearly panicking, yes, but Alicia. So the team
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: was Alicia and Mala. Alicia who was sort of like
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: the voice in our ear making sure we everything her
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: acts that we were hitting, like the emotional notes are
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: just being clear. She sent out this advice beforehand, and
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: it was like, where's stuff that doesn't rustle?
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: And eat a green apple?
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: Green apple is a good snack and hydrate, including the
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: day before. So Samantha and I took it very seriously.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: So the weekend before, I was like, I'm staying in
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: and I'm drinking water, and that's right. But then I
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: showed up each day and you made fun of me,
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: and everyone made fun of me because I came in
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: with this bag of hit water.
• 4:38
  Speaker 4: Okay, it wasn't because you came in with a bag.
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: And we're talking. There were four to five bottles. There
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: was more than water, Okay, five, and then there was
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: like four maybe it was like three to four head
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: waters which you had, and then three personal bottles of
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: water which you had. And we were only there for
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: literally five hours or five and a half hours, with
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: an hour break between for lunch. And also they have
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: a fully equipped kitchen.
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: I went through them all though.
• 5:10
  Speaker 4: I know you did. It was quite funny. I'm like,
• 5:13
  Speaker 4: you know they have water and items here, right.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: It was.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: It was pretty hilarious because I came in and they're
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: just this huge bag and can hear all this like
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: water sloshing about it, and you're struggling at the door
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: to keep it open, like it even open.
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: To be fair, the door was complicated because I had
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: it locked and you had to be like completely in
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: the perfect position for unlocked, but still you was like,
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: what is wrong with her? As you're leaning sideways.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: I took the instructions very seriously and never said.
• 5:49
  Speaker 4: To bring your own water or you might die, like.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: It said hydrate and who knows, I was just being fired.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: But I went through a lot of water and it
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: was kind of comical because you could there was like
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: a trail of.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: If you looked in the trash.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: Candy'd be like, oh, Annie's been here, because there's a
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: tree of these bottles.
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: Again, currently not a sponsor I don't think they said
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: us a lot of stuff.
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: Still, you know, I still have some too, because that's
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: following two days. I did bring one bottle per day
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: because the part of that advice was no, I don't
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: think it was her advice. I was looking up advice
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: about vocal stuff and it said don't drink cold water,
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: don't drink ice water. And all of my water happened
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: to being the refrigerator and very cold, and then I
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: had remnants of the heat water and I wouldn't that
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: was at room temperature, so I wouldn't grab them. So
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: I had it there too, and I did drink them
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: while I was there. We also provided tea, which you
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: had an incident with the tea, because yes, you have
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: found that you are actually allergic to all tea's.
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: Uh, something that is going on.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: I don't know if it's an allergy, but something definitely
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: happens to me after I drink tea.
• 6:59
  Speaker 4: It's not time at the most inopportunity moment.
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, but.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: I did want to talk about our experience with that
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: briefly just because and I think we'll come back and
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: do a more in depth thing. But we were so
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: nervous about it, and I'm still feeling the both exhaustion,
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: but also it was a very different experience from podcasting.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: It really was.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: It doesn't seem like it would be maybe at first glance,
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: but like having someone in your ear kind of correcting
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: you and directing you, having kind of this like really
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: piece by piece, like where's this going to fit? How
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: is this going to sound? All of that happening. So
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: I'm kind of discombobulated, to be honest, to just have
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: this conversation with you.
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: Right, you had to actually do a recording by yourself
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: last week, which many listeners may have already heard. Because
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: I was like, oh, yeah, I'll be fine, let's we'll
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: do it after this and.
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: I came in.
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: I was like I can't do it. I can't do it.
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry, and You're like, oh god, I've got it.
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: And I felt bad because you'd already had your two
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: days of really stress and this was the first day
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: that you'd had to rest and I was like the
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: first my first day, and I was like, m nope, nope,
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: can't do it.
• 8:25
  Speaker 6: Bye.
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: But yeah, it was such an odd experience, and so
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: we hadn't recorded together since we did the audio recording
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: so doing our first episode, it felt off. I was like, oh,
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: oh no, it just felt so disconnected and it felt
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: like I had we had recorded an episode like years ago,
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: when in actuality it was last what Monday or something.
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: I was just like, wow, Wow, this is I am
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: really turned around right now?
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and it so we did one day together and
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: then two days each separately, but it was it was
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: it's hard to adjust to that, and I feel like
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: the first day I did it by myself was pretty rough,
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: and the second day I kind of got my groove
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: and then now I'm having to like readjust me.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: To this, which is odd.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: But it was yeah, like you said, like five hour days,
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: And I did think it was cute because they were
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: both at The people we worked with were like, oh
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: you're friends, been friends.
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Yes, I went and grabbed her for lunch. I mean,
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: and you were recording because I live very close to
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: the studio. Also have a car that I drive and
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: don't mind driving, but yes, I live very close to there,
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: and so I would grab you for lunch. Also because
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: you were your chapters peak behind a little preview of
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: the books. I feel like we're definitely a lot more
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: personal than mine. There was a few that I did
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: put personal bits, but it wasn't like I wasn't relaying
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: really vulnerable experiences.
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: But yeah, so I was like, yeah, I'll definitely come
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: in and hang with you and I just watch you
• 9:58
  Speaker 4: not eat.
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: I would eat just like just a portions are so huge.
• 10:05
  Speaker 4: Well, also you don't eat a lot of lunch.
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: You're also stressed out and you're trying to like kind
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: of gain your composure back for the next read.
• 10:13
  Speaker 4: So that was completely understandable. But yeah, it was.
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: It was funny because they were like, any gonna come
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: get you, and I was like, actually, I'm just going home.
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna go see my dog.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: I love that, you said. Though, yeah, yeah, I know
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: it was. It was nice.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: But one of the reasons, I just really want to
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: hammer that home. I've never had this experience before personally,
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: or if I I have, but on a really light scale.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: But I know previous host Bridgett and Emily would rent
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: a studio to record together, and they'd rent it like
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: once a month and do these really arm recordings, and
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: I heard some horror stories about it about it being
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: a man and after they were done with their topics,
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: him having some opinions. Oh no about like, you know,
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: I don't think we need feminism. I think it's like
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: drawing too much attention to things and all of this stuff.
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 11:13
  Speaker 6: So it could have gone that way, it could have
• 11:16
  Speaker 6: easily and it didn't, And I'm glad. I mean one
• 11:20
  Speaker 6: would hope and think that if people behind who knew
• 11:26
  Speaker 6: that this what this book was about, they would try
• 11:28
  Speaker 6: to not right, but.
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: You never know, you never know, uh, I mean we
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: definitely when we started this process they didn't think that way.
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: Let's true. We had to like, we can't do that,
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: this is a feminist book doing you know, like literally
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: having to put in why a feminist book has to
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: remain feminist even behind the scene, and you know, so,
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: I mean yeah, we definitely encountered it from jump and
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: then had to do a lot of fixing it like no,
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: this is not going to work, and people be like,
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: oh okay, but at the same time also trying not
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: to give it to us.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: It was right, like it wasn't a big deal, and
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: we're like, right, kind of is it is just us?
• 12:10
  Speaker 4: It is.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: All involved. It will be better you just justice on
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: this one.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, But a part of that was so as you
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: were saying, there are some pretty vulnerable moments in the book,
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: and I ended up crying pretty hard twice.
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: Twice.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: I got some hugs, yes, I got some warm water
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: and tea. I got a lot of tea, kind words.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: And I don't know how it would have gone if
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: I hadn't had women when I was being that open
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: about these things. But one of the things that surprised
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: me was I cried during my coming out chapter, or
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: I sort of just it was.
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: It's it's not like I think I didn't think I.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: Was gonna cry, because there's nothing in there that's very
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: you know, just on paper, sounds very heartbreaking or anything.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: It's sad at some points, but it's not like, oh God,
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: what a horrible experience you've lived. But I never I
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: even though I've come out on this show to a
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: bunch of people I don't know, I'd never come out
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: to people I don't know in person or like while
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: they were there and could react, I guess, and I
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: started crying, and I especially like on the parts about
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: like feeling so lonely and feeling like something is wrong
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: with you, and I just I don't think I've ever
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: said it because it's those sections are written to be very.
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: Like journal kind of diary entry.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: And I know I've talked about it on here before,
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: but as we've said, we foolishly, at least I foolishly,
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: never thought we would be doing an audiobook.
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: It didn't come into my head either, didn't until we
• 14:03
  Speaker 3: got that email saying, Hi, we're so excited to work
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: with you, and we're like, what, wait, what is this?
• 14:08
  Speaker 4: What is this? This end?
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: I am very happy, like I want it to be accessible,
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: as accessible as it can be, but yeah, it never
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: ever occurred to me and you and I joked like
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: there are things I would have done differently had I
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: noted I would have to read it.
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: It also is like the very because we went through
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: several editing processes. Obviously, when I would write something, our
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: amazing writer editor Jane, who we hoped to have on
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: the show, would come in and make it sound intelligible
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: because I would rant, as you know, and I'd just
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: keep going. Which was one of the critiques, not critiques,
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: but one of the comments and observations I got was
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: you write long sentences.
• 14:46
  Speaker 4: I was like, yes, I do.
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry, but the fact is, oh, I was like, oh,
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: I definitely didn't write that word. I don't even know
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: what that means. Someone pronounced this for me. That is
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: definitely not my phrase. I did not say it that way.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: Yes, so those.
• 15:03
  Speaker 7: Moments are like oh oh right, yeah, and again like
• 15:08
  Speaker 7: I know you and I have read it several times,
• 15:12
  Speaker 7: but it's just saying something about and reading it.
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: Is it is also Yeah, just like I'm like, I'm
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: not an actor, right, Oh, I'm not a trained professional
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: in this, which, by the way, we do have an actor.
• 15:25
  Speaker 4: I'm very excited for her to be a part of it.
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: I am too, but yeah, but like, like, how do
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: I make this sound interesting, right, instead of like me
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: just bumbling through?
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah? And I think too, like we never thought we
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: have a book, and so it was strange to be
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: in a space where you could see like past people
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: they had, yes, and feel a little intimidated by very
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: Oh so you work with them?
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: Ye?
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: Yes, And I'm proud of what we did and I
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: don't want to make it sound like i'm not, but
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: I think we can all relate to that feeling of
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: I've never done this before and I'm sharing the same
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: space as this person who was really good and I
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: know is really good. So there was that going on
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: for sure. There was an element of very much for
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: me getting in my head where I would take their
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: advice so seriously and then I would get so caught
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: up about how I sounded. But it was like it
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: was a very intimate, for lack of a better word, environment,
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: and I'm just sharing this story that it's like me
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: coming out, and I just started crying, to my surprise,
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: and I thought, I feel since over the years, I
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: feel much more settled in my identity. I feel very
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: happy with it, which I do talk about in the
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: book as well. So it surprised me. But I think
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: I just hadn't realized how much I've internalized, like people
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: might reject you. Maybe it's not safe to do this
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: because at that point I didn't know. I knew they
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: were women, but I didn't know for sure. But they
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: were amazing and awesome, and one of them talked about
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: her coming out story and how important it is to
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: hear things like this, and we related about you know,
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: I didn't even know this was a thing, and I
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: wish I had known that it was a thing when
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: I was so much younger. So it was a really
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: great experience, Like I don't think I could have asked
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: for anything better than that, but it was kind of
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: eye opening for me about Okay, it still makes me nervous.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: I'm still not totally comfortable, which makes sense. I didn't
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: know who they were, even as nice as they were. Yes,
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: I didn't know them. But it's also this is a
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: book in an audiobook, and now, for some reason, as
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: we've discussed, that feels much more permanent than when we
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: talk on the podcasts.
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: Right by the way, it's already being advertised on audible.
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: Oh really, yeah, I found it today, don't give me.
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: I was looking at something else and it was already
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: up and I was like, oh, reorder so you can
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: pre order the audio.
• 18:42
  Speaker 4: And we haven't even finished it.
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: We have it, and we have to go back and
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: do pickups.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: And I'm worried because I'm worried I'm gonna have to
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: do pickups for like the times I was crying.
• 18:53
  Speaker 4: I didn't even think about that.
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: Yes, oh I did.
• 18:57
  Speaker 4: I definitely have to go back for like rename it.
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: Things like the hard to pronounce we do talk about
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: First Nations and indigenous people, and I was like, oh no,
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: I'm in trouble.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: I wish we had their technology. They had a whole
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: technology that scans a document and tells you, oh, this
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: might be a word you want to look up.
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: Oh really, Yeah, they didn't know how to say it either.
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: I found it well. It was still difficult.
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: Yes, it was.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: Cool though, because they had a whole process for figuring
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: out how to pronounce things, including calling their friends in
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: different countries. It was very deat right, Yes, But on
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: top of that, I realized I had this beautiful conversation
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: about coming out, and it was so nice and like
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: this kind of connecting, you know, all of this stuff.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: But then I also realized that I'm still really afraid,
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: and rightfully so, I think in some ways of getting
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: stuff wrong when it comes to LGBTQ plus, which is
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: something I kept tripping upon that I had to say
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: a million times, just terminology, and it's a part of
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: it is so much of it is in flux, and
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: so much of it is being discussed and is changing.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: But I had a lot of anxiety about the Monday
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: many I did by myself, which was just a strict
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: history of the terminology. So I'm still struggling with that,
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: and I still, you know, I'm a cis white, straight
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: passing person, and so I think I felt it's always
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: good to keep things in context, but I think I
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: felt like when I was having this emotion that I
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: shouldn't be having it because I really haven't suffered that much.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: And like I said, I think it's important to keep
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: things in context. But it was also like, I don't
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: think I ever grappled with just how lonely.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: I felt, So.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: It was interesting. It was interesting, but I do hope
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: that it will help people, anyone who listens. I feel
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: like me didn't know that that terminology, didn't know that
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: was a thing, even though that's like what was going on.
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: I do hope it will help I'm sure somebody.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: And then I've also been thinking about this too, And
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: this is just a quick I've only been thinking about
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: it and will wrap up. But I've been thinking about
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: a couple of you have written in asking for resources,
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: because you you'll be talking to people who don't know
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: about a lot of queer terminology. They don't know that
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: there's like a romantic spectrum on top of a sexual spectrum, and.
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: That got me thinking, like I.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: About the how we say love is love, which I'm
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: all about, but it's also like, should be able to
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: have consensual sex with whoever you want to.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: I'm all for lovers love, but also you know.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: But that being said, if anyone does have really great resources,
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: I usually go to the Trevor Project. That they don't,
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: at least as far as I saw, don't have a
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: great breakdown of the romantic versus sexual spectrum. They do
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: have a really great breakdown of a gender identity. But
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: if you have any resources, we would love to shout
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: them out, So please send those our way. Cheers, Samantha,
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: we did it.
• 22:42
  Speaker 4: We're part way through it, most of the way through it.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: Cheers. We're more than halfway there. Ers.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: Yes, If you would like to contact us, you can
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: our emails Stephanie mom Stuff at iHeartMedia dot com. You
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: can find us on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast, or
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: on Instagram and TikTok at stuff I've Never Told You.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: You can also find us on YouTube. We have a
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: tea public store. You have new stuff on there. You
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: should check it out. We do have a book that
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: you can pre order at stuff. You should read books
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: dot com. Apparently we also have an audible book you
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: can already pre orders, so check that out. It's gonna
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: be cool, it's gonna have like narration by an actor.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: It's gonna be awesome. Yes, Thanks as always to our
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: super producer Christina, our executive producer Maya, and our contributor Joey.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: Thank you and thanks to you for listening stuff I
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: never told you the protection of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: on my heart Radio, you can check out the iHeart
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or regular listen to your favorite shows.