Latest / SoWhoCaresAnyway / SoWhoCaresAnyway E47 Learning To Live

Transcript

SoWhoCaresAnyway E47 Learning To Live · SoWhoCaresAnyway

0:04
Welcome to So Who Cares Anyway?, a fortnightly podcast exploring stories that shape care, community, and the systems we live in.
0:12
I'm Ruth Germaine, and in each episode I'm joined by my guests, people from behind clinical doors to the North York Moors, whose experiences open a window into how we care for one another.
0:24
Together, we explore care through creativity, connection, and the strengths we already hold.
Because care isn't small, care isn't soft, care shapes the world.
0:36
So who cares anyway? It's time to talk about it.
0:41
Hi, it's Ruth here, and I just want to say before we go into our conversation today with Beryl Palmer, who was a social worker, senior leader, about how she says in this episode that she was living on a diet of stress and actually there was something that restriped her, helped her find her identity and the way we live and she talks about that today.
And if you're really interested, I do hope you stay to the end because there's a little practical for you to do.
I landed myself in it, but I think it's a really worthwhile one.
So stay to the end, hear that, and hopefully you'll have something to actually take away with you that you can use day to day Hi, and, um, I just want to say hello this week to Beryl Palmer, who's joining me today, um, to talk about sophrology.
1:27
So it's actually a follow-on from Dr Jane Stevens, who was on episode 23, who also spoke about sophrology.
1:35
But Jane really spoke about what it was and why it was important.
1:38
But Beryl, you're here today to talk about it, and its application that you've used with people with, um, with social workers.
1:46
So if I can come over to you, Beryl, and just ask you to introduce yourself a little bit, please.
1:50
Hi.
Thank you very much, Ruth.
I'm absolutely delighted to be here talking about, um, sophrology.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, so yes, my name's Beryl Palmer, and I'm a social worker by background.
Um, so I've had a long career in social care, finishing really as a, as a senior manager.
But at that point, um, I actually experienced burnout.
Um, I think people around me would say that I was, um, well, I was highly stressed at that, at that point.
I ended up, um, actually, um, having surgery and, and having a cancer scare, and actually leaving my job earlier than I kind of expected to.
But actually, I'd had a, I'd always had a fascination with, um, mindfulness and meditation and spirituality.
Uh, my son experienced something called the lightning process, which helped him recover from ME.
Um, and my, uh, husband was, um, one of the first sports psychologists in this country.
So all of those things together, uh, led me to sophrology.
I literally read an article when I was in the dentist sorting my teeth out, um, which took me to the Sophrology Academy and to retrain as a sophrologist.
So now I have a new passion and a new mission in my life, which is to share these mind body practices, uh, with others- Um, that I experienced them myself as being just completely transformational.
3:13
And, um, I feel like I'm a very different person, uh, to, to the person that I was.
Thank you, Beryl.
3:20
That's, um, r- really interesting, and I like the fact that you...
Well, what's interesting that you've talked about your career, and you, you've shared with us already that you've, um, you know, that stress and how stressed you were in your career.
3:32
But actually, not only have you found sophrology, but you really, you've got passion and a mission to share it with everybody else, which I think really came through.
I actually saw an article that you'd written and got in touch with you, or that you'd been, um, I can't remember if you're the main author or co-author.
And I thought, "Oh, that's, that sounds amazing," and you've actually applied this into practice and trying to share this as well.
I know Jane does that as well, but she talked more about it on a level of what it is.
But just to remind people that didn't listen to Jane's, um, episode, I wonder if you might just start with a little bit about what, um, sophrology is, if that's okay, just to give people an idea.
So sophrology was actually developed by, uh, Dr.
Alfonso Caycedo, uh, in the 1960s.
And he wanted to find a, um, a better way of helping people with, uh, mental health issues and, and with wellbeing.
And he, uh, went to, uh, the East, and he looked at, uh, yoga nidra, particularly Japanese Zen, Tibetan Buddhism, and he looked at the current thinking around psychology in, in the West.
And he developed this, this structured, um, method, um, to help people, which essentially includes, um, some gentle physical movements, some breathing techniques- Um, visualizations, mental imagery, and relaxation and meditation.
4:56
And he combined these into a, a specific method, but basically they create, um, some very simple and accessible tools that really help with things like sleep and stress, anxiety.
5:10
So to begin with, sophology was very much in, uh, the cl- done, uh, done in the, in a clinical setting.
Uh, but it's spread now to sport, uh, to corporate settings, to helping people with performance.
And the core things probably it's most well known for are for managing stress, emotional resilience, um, sleep and anxiety.
But it's used in a lot of different, uh, contexts now.
Thank you.
5:36
Um, and so it sounds like there's, there's quite a lot to it, and you've talked about that you put this structured process together.
And I've written down here east to west, 'cause they, you went out to the east and all of those countries where they perhaps think about spirituality and things like that more than we do, and their relation to movement through yoga and other things and breathing.
Um, but brought those over here and built that structure.
5:59
And I suppose there's, there's probably people listening out there thinking to themselves, "Well, I'm not really into spiritual things," or, "I'm not really...
You know, y- yoga's great, but it's another form of exercise."
Um, but you've said that it's actually gone into sports, into that clinical world, and even into the corporate world.
So I wonder if you can, um- I'll tell you what, before I ask you this next question, I'm just gonna jump back a little bit and say, because you s- you mentioned about the fact that you were stressed, and this might actually help to answer the question.
6:27
Um, and you had that stress, and then you found soph- sophrology.
6:31
So maybe you want to describe that journey, and in that we might understand a little bit more about s- sophrology and how it helped you.
So I, I've described it to people as, as living on a diet of stress at the time, that I was kind of on the ceiling with it, but absolutely not aware of that.
So, um, I think I've always been, um, very driven, very hardworking, and, um, I basically in the, in the, experienced a kind of complete loss of myself and a loss of who I was and a disconnection from myself.
7:06
Um, I can remember a friend asking me about my kind of dreams and I, I realized I'd kind of lost all sense of, of who I was at that time.
And, um, what sophrology did that two-year period of training is it helped me find me, which maybe sounds a bit strange, but it, it helped me become whole and fully connected again, kind of mind, body, soul.
It helped me learn what real relaxation was and how to, to feel very grounded and very relaxed.
And also, sophrology is, um, it has several different levels and it can be very deep and, uh, very transformational and, um, I think for me that was how I experienced it.
7:50
But it can also be a very simple toolkit, which is how we're using it with, um- Uh, in a corporate setting, with teams, with, with, um, health and social care staff, um, as a very simple toolkit that can actually help you manage in your daily life and in professional practice, but help you get back to a, a state of kind of harmony, a state of balance.
Um, and that can be taught in a very simple, uh, and easy way.
Um, so it's, so in a nutshell really for me, it's both, um, a very simple, easy, accessible toolkit of short exercises that can help people reset themselves through their day, but it can also be a, a deeply transformational journey if you do it in depth and you, you ex- you practice it repeatedly.
That kind of change then, then develops and happens.
8:45
Thank you.
And that's really interesting to hear, and I suppose that's might be a little bit like yoga.
8:49
So I do my bit of yoga in the mornings, you know, during weekdays just for something to do, and I do find it helps me, but I w- I certainly don't go to that deep level.
But I hadn't e- ever thought about it before, and what you're saying here is actually even doing that level is helpful, but if you want to, you can go into it deeper.
9:07
So there's those different levels as well.
But I found it really, you know, you, you've just said about how you were living on that diet of stress and losing that sense of who you, who you were, and it helped you to find you.
9:20
And then you said that you never really knew what relaxation was.
I think that was your words, but I'm just wondering if you can say to me, so what, what is relaxation? How would you describe it, or how would you describe what it's...
I, I mean, we could all say what it's not, I suppose, but yeah.
What, how would you describe that to somebody? So for me now, it's a feeling of calm, of being grounded, of being, um, connected up, connected up, and kind of whole.
And I have this image for myself, which is actually, um, a lighthouse, and it's a lighthouse, which is this building that's solid on the ground.
It's on the rock.
Um, I like the idea of kind of my light, my essence shining out the top, out to the kind of world.
10:09
But actually the world out there is this kind of sea, this rough, churlish sea that, that goes on around me.
So for me, um, we can't stop that, that kind of sea, that world, that stress, that, all that s- all that stuff that's going on outside of us, but we can kind of come back into this solidity, this, this, um, sort of lighthouse image that I have, um- And that, that I find really, really helpful.
10:34
And I know when I've worked with people sometimes, I remember one woman who was having panic attacks.
10:39
She had an image of herself as a, as a tree, as a big oak tree, and she would retreat back into the deep roots and the feeling of, of being herself.
10:50
Um, and I think what was happening for me was I was being buffeted about by all the different oughts, shoulds, targets, stresses, and everything else out there.
And I was outside in living rather than inside out living, um, is how I, I, I kind of would describe it.
And now, um, I still get buffeted about, um, I'm human, but I have that stronger sense of self.
I'm coming back, um, to that self, and I think I'm living more authentically in line with who I am and my values.
And sophology helps you do that.
Sophology helps you work, really work on who you are and what you're about and, and gives you that, that strength.
11:35
Um- Which is wonderful.
11:39
Yes.
11:40
Yeah.
11:40
And I, I love that analogy.
11:42
Um, I had some coaching a few years ago, and I can't remember the question or how we got there, but actually my- I had a similar picture of a tr- of sea, and all that rough sea, and that was all the stuff that was going on.
And through that, I managed to see myself.
11:57
But I was in a boat, so I, I wasn't grounded.
12:01
Yeah.
12:01
I was in a boat, but I was floating on it.
But I really like that because w- what you've got there is that you can come back and feel solid.
12:07
So when you're in that boat, and I was still feeling the turbulence, but m- but riding it, if you like, and managing it- Yeah actually what you've described there is feeling solid on that rock.
Um, and then you've talked about your light going out because actually you're in a place where you can have that light, which fits in with what you were saying on, earlier on, that you're p- really passionate about sharing this with other people.
So in my mind, that's, that's the light of, that you're wanting to share- Mm-hmm beyond that, um, and in finding yourself.
So I suppose the question now is, is why are we talking about this today? Why does it matter that we think about sophrology? And you've talked about different areas, but y- you yourself were a social worker by background.
Um, and you've mentioned clinicians as well, and of course, this program is about who cares.
S- so why does it matter that we think about sophrology or potentially even use sophrology for our clinicians and for...
And when I say clinicians, I say that very broadly, if we bring in social work and a lot of our allied health professionals, you know, care workers or any of those people, really.
So, um, Cassado, um, said that sophrology was w- was learning to live.
And you think, "Well, why on earth would, do we need to learn to live? We're, we're living."
But actually, for me, sophrology is about how we're living.
And actually, the world is getting, um, it's more fearful, it's more stressful, and we are rushing around and on our phones, et cetera, et cetera.
And actually, there's a risk that we're losing, um, connection with ourselves.
We're, we're...
And we're not necessarily taught, um, how to use that mind-body connection, how to be aware of the messages that your body is giving you about, um, about where you're at.
And, um, so for me, actually teaching, uh, health, social care, um, practitioners, um, and others, or, or everyone really, about, um, what are the different tools and techniques you can use using your breath, using just simple movement, using visualizations to actually take back control, um, and reset where you are.
We can do that, but we can, we sometimes need to teach people that, to teach people those things And I feel quite passionately that we, that really we should be teaching way back in, in, uh, to children.
14:32
Um, and I have a, a sister who lives in France.
14:35
Uh, I have a, she has a, a granddaughter who, uh, is only age five, six, and she learns sophology in school.
14:43
They come in from the playground and they do a few minutes of sophology to settle, to refocus before they go back into their, into their studies.
And how, what a marvelous thing to be able to teach these very, very simple, easy, accessible, um, skills at a very young age so that you're, you're, as you grow up, you know what you can do with your mind-body to, to actually, um, to feel better, to take control, to, to be in a different place.
So, um- Yes, so I think it's, it's extremely important and it, and very, very valuable that, um, that we teach people these things Yeah, so I think quite often we don't think about that as being something that we teach, do we? Because we all think So there's a lot of talk now, isn't there, about mental health.
15:30
There's a lot of talk about the emotional labor and the emotional toll, and of course I've talked about that a lot on this podcast, of care work, social work, clinical work, whatever that is.
15:40
There's a lot of emotional labor.
But we don't really think about the fact that we need to be taught to be able to manage our mental health or to be man- able to manage the mental stresses of our work or our day-to-day lives, whatever they are, um, uh, whatever they may be.
15:57
Because, you know, beyond the clinical world, there's lots of other people.
16:00
There's carers at home and all sorts of people and different things going on, where it would I can see that it's invaluable.
16:07
So how, how do we make that happen, Beryl? I don't know.
16:12
D- d- you're obviously talking to people.
16:12
You're talking about the school that's actually starting to do that and bringing people in from their, you know, young people or children in from the, to the classroom and saying, "Right, let's do some sophrology.
Let's teach you how to manage your wellbeing."
But is there a way we can do that on a greater scale? Is there something that needs to happen? I'm putting you on the spot here, probably.
This is, uh, this, this is the crux.
So I think everyone who's listening should give an opportunity to a sophrologist to come and do something.
But what if they don't know a sophrologist? 'Cause not everyone's gonna know one.
16:42
No, no, no.
I think- You know but I think that's, uh- But yeah, brilliant idea.
Perhaps I need to go and see.
Well, I did say to last time, where after I had Jane on, I said, "I'll come down and visit you," but of course things get busy and you don't get round to doing it, but I'd love to.
But yeah- But that's the sort of- Not everybody knows somebody sophrology sells itself.
When you experience it, um, generally you understand it.
Uh, it's a very strange word.
It's not a helpful word.
Um, it, it, it's actually I think in my view is a, is a barrier really.
Um, but when people actually experience, they, they, um, they get it, they understand it, um, from, from that experience.
And I know that you're inviting, uh, one of the students to come on who, who experienced some of the, some of the training on sophrology, um, with the social universities we worked with- So I think it's very difficult.
17:29
I, I, um, I am old enough to remember when coaching was just something that happened in sport, and here we are 30, 40 years later, and coaching is everywhere.
17:41
So it changes, and I absolutely am an eternal optimist, and if you study sophrology, you always look for the positive.
So for me, it's beginning to happen.
It's beginning to happen in the UK, and it's beginning to happen in the English-speaking world.
17:56
Um, I think there is a better understanding and awareness, and, and I hope that, um, every opportunity is given to, to spread sophrology.
Um, it's happening in sport.
18:08
It's happening in lots of different, different areas, and certainly my experience of working, um, we've done a number of retreats now with health and social care staff where sophrology has been included in it.
Um, and it has a, a profound effect for people.
How do we get it that people think...
So we've moved into that bit of talking about mental health- Mm-hmm and whether we use sophrology or something else.
18:31
How do we make it the public and perhaps people, you know, influence, whether they're teachers, whether they're, um, cl- clinicians, whether they're the government, whoever they are, but how do we get it that people start saying, "Oh, what we need to do is to not just think about mental health, but almost think about actually how do we..."
And maybe some people are doing this already and not using sophrology, but, or maybe they are.
But how do we get it to its mainstream that everybody thinks, "Actually, we need to think about our mental health as a preventative"? Because I sort of feel, I don't know, I might be, be wrong here, but I sort of feel that what's happened is we've, um, we've We're in a place where people talk about mental health, but we talk about it when it's already an issue, and we talk about mental health, health first aid, which is of course thinking about somebody in a mental health crisis.
But we don't really talk about making it mainstream for people to talk about mental health and how to cope with the trials and tribulations, for want of a better word or phrase, of life, whatever that might be, before it happens.
Mm-hmm.
19:43
So that when something comes along, like, um, something that m- might upset us or might be really s- a sad or devastating event as a child, as an adult, or when we perhaps get some news of an illness or a loved one, or even all the terrible things that are going on in the world that we see and we, we might be impacted by because we either see it on social media or the news or wherever those things are, as a rule, we don't teach people how to manage that.
No.
20:12
How do we, and I suppose I'm, I'm not just saying through sophrology, but how do we move people from thinking when something happens I'll talk about my mental health to thinking actually let's talk about mental health and how we cope with those things pre-hand? I mean, for me, in the, the learning from the The learning from the social work training that we did was that it, in a, in a short period of time, which to me with a manager's hat on was bloody cost-effective, we did one hour, and the, the way, uh, Olina is transformed by one hour is, is, is huge when she talks about it in her daily life and in, and everything.
But it goes back to but we need to be doing that as for children, and we need to be doing it in schools, and we need to be doing it with parents way back.
But how- How we do that is the difficult question to answer because it's, it's, it's only by putting it out there a lot and by getting it into, into schools, into parenting programs, I don't know, into...
21:18
I, I don't know what the answer is, I suppose.
21:20
You know, I've just been in a meeting of other somatologists doing a bit of somatology before I came in here, and bless them, they're all trying on their own, they're all trying with their little businesses to try and get going.
They're all struggling, and I really, really feel for them, because they've gotta survive, and they've gotta make money, and, you know, they've gotta live, and they're trying to do it as a job.
21:37
And, and it's extremely hard, which is kind of my passionate plea about, give us opportunities because actually I do think there can be a snowball, and I d- I have, you know, watched coaching go, like my, through my husband, I've watched it become something else.
So that's why I think it can happen.
21:53
But I think you're asking me a really difficult question, like, how do we do it? Yeah, I- We need, um, an education, I guess.
22:00
It's ed- it's, it's education.
22:02
And I think one of the things about carers and about the p- people that you're, you know, the people that go into the, the caring world are people that put other people first That's why they go into the caring world.
22:14
So that's why when, when you work with carers, professional carers, which I've done through the retreats and through social work, et cetera, what you find is they, they, they always are thinking about other people and they're not thinking about themselves, which is why they're at such risk of burnout and stress and, and stuff.
Because they're not thinking their self first.
22:32
That's kind of selfish.
22:33
But actually, if they don't think about themselves first, then, um, then they're no good at what they do.
22:40
Because actually what happens when they're stressed and when they're, when they're stressed, they're not doing their job well.
I mean, my husband's now got dementia, and I, I've been recently to lots and lots of health appointments with him, and I'm really seeing a lot of burnt out people.
22:52
They're d- they're cynical, they're disillusioned, they're, they're not really connected to the job they're doing anymore, and I'm sure they were wonderful, passionate, caring people at once, at first.
23:00
But I'm just seeing people that just aren't.
System has done so much damage to people.
Yes.
Yeah.
And there is a, a thing, isn't it, that's quite talked about.
23:10
I don't, I don't know if I can put a name to it.
There probably is, but people do talk about the fact that, um, we lose our com...
23:16
You know, when we're in roles for a long time.
Yeah.
There is compassion fatigue.
That is the word.
I've come up with it.
And of course that gets lost.
Mm.
And it is because we just see it again and again and some- so often there isn't anything you can do.
In fact, I spoke to somebody the other day and they'd been to an appointment with a relative and they said, actually, these people couldn't do anything else.
So that she needed something for her relative and, but the people she was seeing couldn't do anything.
Well, how hard is that? Because they'd done what was their job.
They'd done everything.
They'd gone above and beyond their job, but actually they still couldn't do for this person what they needed to, and they couldn't connect them to the right person in the system at the right time for when they needed it.
Yeah.
So how hard is that? That, that's just so hard, isn't it? It's hard.
So, and of course, if you become burnt out, not only can't you do that, but you can't even start to think about how you might do it next time because the compassion fatigue comes along and I think we're seeing so much of that now.
But I did ask you an incredibly hard question and I suppose on, on hindsight, it was more of a reflection, actually, how do we get this to happen and make this mainstream? This podcast is all about collective voices.
So if you're enjoying it, please subscribe and share it across your networks, your friends, your family, your colleagues.
This way we can amplify the voice, share the stories further, and it will help to keep the podcast going.
Now back to the conversation.
24:50
And I was wondering as well, so a lot of people say, "Oh, young people talk about their mental health all the time.
24:55
They're, they're always saying they've got a mental health issue, a mental health issue."
24:58
But I do wonder, and I've thought about this before a little bit, but speaking to you it sort of really brought it to my mind is maybe that is because they're really conscious of their mental health.
Whereas I never thought about mental health when I was- No in my teens back in the sort of '70s and '80s.
You know, if you started to talk about mental health, people sort of looked at you.
Um, that meant that you were really ill.
That wasn't something that you had.
25:21
So maybe there is an awareness, and people are just going, "Ah, I've noticed there's a difference.
25:25
There's a shift."
25:26
So a lot of people say, "Oh, they're always saying they've got problems with their mental health."
Yeah.
25:31
But I wonder if what's happening by raising awareness of mental health is what we're doing is they're noticing smaller shifts.
'Cause I wouldn't have noticed a smaller shift when I was younger.
25:41
If I did, I certainly wouldn't have been able to name it or articulate it or even think that I should or could.
Um, whereas young people now are beginning to say, "Oh, I think I've got a mental health issue," and everyone's going, "Oh, they're, they're mo- moaning about the slightest little thing.
You just gotta get on with it."
You know, I've heard people saying that, but actually Maybe that is a shift that needs to happen And then, and then actually having more awareness is where it starts.
26:09
So when we start our sessions, we start with, um, helping people to stop and think about, um, how do they know they're beginning to feel stressed, or what messages are they, are they getting from their body.
And then it's about once you're beginning to have this increased self-awareness, what, what do you do with that? So that's where sophrology kicks in really, because that's where, uh, we're looking at the very simple tools.
26:32
It might just be a little bit of breathing.
It might be pausing and, and actually having a visualization that's a lovely positive visualization of somewhere special to you.
Um, just little simple tools that can actually shift and reset where you are in that moment.
Um, and repeatedly doing these kinds of practices, actually what happens is, is we know a lot more about neuroplasticity and, and the changes that can happen in the brain.
26:58
So we get, um, changes that, that, that, that can happen.
27:02
And certainly for me, I, I have ex- I just, um, I just find that I'm I don't, um, not experience the negative and the awful and the crap things that happen in life, but I try now much more a way of letting them go and actually finding the positive in a situation.
Um, so I think that these kind of techniques, they, they are absolutely teachable, and what works for one individual doesn't work for another, but you find out what, what works for you.
Thank you.
And what you've spoken about there is, um, about, um, feelings and how people feel.
So how does it feel in that moment? And I think quite often when something happens, we think about the actual event that happened, but we lose sight of our feeling at the time, the emotion that was behind that.
And I think that's a really important thing to be able to do, to say, "Actually, when that happened, it made me feel..."
27:58
Which is absolutely fine, 'cause we all have our feelings, but when we recognize our feelings, then we can start to think about them and then use sophrology or whatever means to start to think about actually where did that feeling come from and what's that actually really mean.
I think it's, it's, it's another set of tools really.
And I mean, I'm a social worker by background, and I worked for a while in a wellbeing center in a hospice, and I worked with a lot of men.
And interestingly, the men were open to doing sophrology when they were more reluctant to do the counseling, was my experience in, in that hospice.
And actually, um, just having, um, one sophrology session, it's, it's a number of different exercises for 20, 25 minutes, sometimes, uh, it would go completely to the root of what was going on with someone, and then they would open up and talk about it Um, and that for me was, uh, was a very powerful learning experience.
28:53
Um, I think that for some people talking, for some of those men actually, talk- talking may never have got to some of the things that, that just seemed to, seemed to come from them.
29:04
Um, uh, from doing, from doing those mind-body practices.
29:08
So, uh, yeah.
And similarly, working with long-term unemployed people, it, it was interesting to see people...
Uh, sophrology can work with events in the past and work with how your, your body, mind felt when you were feeling good and, and you were feeling confident, and people could tap in to that feeling of, of strength and confidence from their past and, and, and reconnect with that.
29:34
Um, so in that way they can use it to prepare for their future, for jobs they might be going for, for interviews.
29:40
Um, it's, it's, it's another method that can be used, that can be, uh, very successful with people in my experience.
Thank you, Beryl.
29:50
And I think, um, that's really interesting what you've just said there, that the, that you had, in particular it was men that you were talking about, that they came forwards for sophrology, but not counseling.
And I suppose counseling sounds like, "Oh, I'm gonna have to tell somebody something.
I'm gonna have to open up."
And it can feel a little bit, um, threatening if that's not, uh, something that you're feeling that you want to do, need to do, or your normal comfort zone.
Whereas I suppose sophrology was, "We're gonna do a bit of movement and some breathing and some exercises."
And people think, "Oh yeah, that's okay, because that's something I do."
Might not be sure whether it was a good thing or not, but actually through that it allowed the talking To happen and the recognition of emotions.
30:31
So that's really quite an interesting, um, way to think about it as well.
Yeah.
30:37
And the tools are, are so varied and, and, and so individual.
30:41
Um, and you don't need to wear special gear like you might, you know, we do with yoga, you don't need to have a special place.
30:47
These are things that you can use in the moment, um, and use that are totally personal to you, um, are adapted to you, which I think is one of the brilliant and most powerful things.
30:59
You know, some of the men in the ho- hospice, more than one of them actually, their special place, their safe landscape was their, was imagining themselves in their shed.
Um, you know, a lot of people will go to nature and to the sea and to the mountains, but it's, it's a totally personal thing.
Uh, what, what, what works for you? Yeah, which is lovely really, because it takes you to your special place and your thing.
31:21
So that's that core, isn't it? That's that, the rocks below the he- the lighthouse, if you like, that keeps you in that place, um, from where you can be.
So I wonder if there's anything else, um, Beryl, that you want to, to tell me about today, or if there's any particular story that you have where you can say, "This is what happened."
I know that we're gonna have somebody on another episode to, because we weren't able to record for them today.
Mm-hmm.
So, uh, we're going to do that, um, at another time.
But, um, I wonder if there's a story of someone that you've seen and, and the impact and the difference it made at all.
Um, so if I'm talking about, uh, an individual, I would probably talk about my hairdresser.
Um, he knows that I, I talk about this story.
He's now a great big fan of Sophology and tells his other clients.
Um, he actually, uh, went to cut my hair and his hands were shaking And he left the room and said, "I'm really sorry," and came back and, and said, "I think I've got problems with my sugar levels."
32:22
And, um, and I said, "I, I, I don't know, but, um, is it possible that was, uh, that you were having a panic attack?" And, uh, he said, "I don't know."
Um, but decided that he would, we would do some sophology together.
And actually, um, it, it was totally transformational for him.
He started by saying, "There's absolutely no way I've got time to do exercises."
32:46
And so I said, "Well, do you go to the toilet?" And he said, "Of course I go to the toilet."
So I went, "Okay, every time you go in the toilet, let's decide what exercises you want to do for a couple of minutes before you come out the toilet."
And that's what cracked it for him.
So he would go in, and he would do a little bit of physical movement that he liked, a little bit of breathing.
And over time, he got to be aware when he felt a panic attack was coming on, and he was aware of how to manage it.
33:12
Um, and for him, his livelihood was, was a threat because he...
33:16
You can't cut hand- hair if your hands are shaking.
So, um, actually, he benefited, um, hugely from that.
And I think for the...
We, we've been doing retreats called Out in the Field, um, which are retreats for health and social care staff where they get to experience nature, good nutrition, forest bathing, and some sophology.
And I think that for a lot of the staff, the doctors, nurses, social workers that come, they've chosen a caring profession.
They've chosen to think about, to look after the needs of other people, and quite often their own looking after themselves and their own self-care is at the bottom of that list.
And actually, um, reminding people that, um, they need to look after themselves first and move towards creating a culture where we recognize how important it is that, um, that, uh, people's wellbeing and staff's wellbeing is, is looked after is, is, um, critically important It's not only important for people's wellbeing, but actually if, if you c- if you're in a balanced, calm, um, grounded space, you can perform so much better.
34:25
You will do your job better.
34:26
And a lot of people's, uh, services in like, um, social work, it's about the relationship you form with people and, and how you are.
34:34
You are the tool, kind of, on the job.
34:36
So, um, you get, um, an, an improved performance, I think, for pe- for people, uh, at work as well.
Really interesting.
34:46
Is that bit, isn't it culturally, about looking after ourselves first is almost, um, a negative.
And I think because of the pictures, I'd drawn the picture of the lighthouse and remembered the picture that you said somebody else imagined themselves an oak tree.
But actually, if we think about an oak tree, an oak tree sustains so much other life.
Um, I think I've read once it's 54 species that it sustains, but I'm sure it's hundreds more because if you think of all the beetles, all the things that live under it, the birds, and the various things around it, it s- it sustains so much life beyond itself.
But the oak tree actually looks after itself first.
I mean, I suppose that's questionable 'cause people talk about the, what's the, um, bit underneath the ground that it connects to the other trees and things like that through the...
But even so, it's still looking after itself in order to sustain all of that other life.
35:41
But as a culture, certainly here in England, we tend to think that if we look after ourselves before others, then we're being selfish and self-centered.
Mm.
35:51
Um, and perhaps that's something that's taught to us as well, to be fair.
Yeah, and when we look at things like, um, the professional training courses for social workers, you know, we, we have all these amazing, um, skills we're teaching people in, but we're not including, um, we're not including simple, cost-effective training that's around looking after yourself, you know, which actually Sopology can be.
So much can be learnt in such a short period of time, which actually gives people tools to actually, um, look after themselves better.
Um, we've got very high levels of stress and burnout in the profession and, and that's not taking away that we have a system that is short of resources, that puts huge demands on people, and, uh, we have targets and waiting lists and all the other things.
Um- Uh, but a part of the system that causes pressure and strain for people.
36:41
But there, there are some things we can do to help people Yeah, it certainly sounds like it.
36:47
I think we've gone round quite a lot of subjects today, Beryl.
And we've gone around in a f- a, a few circles, but they're, they've been evolving.
36:54
Ever-evolving circles.
36:56
But we've spoken about sophrology, we've spoken about that through from children to young people, clinicians particularly, that emotional labor, through to how men might actually choose that, or you were speaking about men that chose that rather than thinking about going for counseling because that felt perhaps a little bit more threatening, whereas this felt perhaps more comfortable.
Um, and we've spoken about actually how do we get talking about mental health from being something that we don't wait until it happens, but actually we teach every person h- preferably from when they're young- Yeah but all the way through.
So we've covered a huge amount of ground there.
Um, and I think it's, it's a really important subject.
And to me, h- the reason why I invite you back, because I found sophrology so fascinating the first time I spoke about it with, um, with Jane, um, and went off and read Man's Search for Meaning, which was one of the books that she spoke about at the time, which was, you know, I found an absolutely incredible book.
But, um- I wonder as, as we start to draw to a close, if we If there's anything in particular that you want to, um, that you want to send out, either as a call to action or a message to share or something that you want to say, um, really for people f- that are listening as we start to draw to a close.
Yeah.
38:23
I think what I would say is let's teach, let's recognize the value of these tools.
38:28
Let's teach these mind-body tools as young as possible so they become the norm, that we learn them, and that we can look after our, our mental health, our wellbeing, that we're taught from a young age, um, to do so.
I think the earlier the better.
But I think if, if, um, if there are opportunities to offer, um, training on this, then, then please, my, my plea, my plea to action would be please offer opportunities for Sophology and the like to be, to be offered, um, to people so that they can learn these skills which are, um, so hugely beneficial and for some people transformational.
Thank you, Bera.
I'm gonna ask you one last thing, and I don't know if this is possible.
But is it possible to do just one small tool and talk myself and those people listening through it before we finish? Ooh, I think so.
Gosh, you put me on the spot.
39:27
Yeah.
39:27
It's only just come into my head, so it wasn't there before.
So I, um, I will teach you one tool which is, um, used by a lot of staff in Derwen Valley Hospital where we've done, um, uh, monthly workshops for staff there.
And I know that this is, uh, a, a physical movement that's used by a lot of staff, um, when they're under stress across the hospital, and it's called shoulder pumping.
So, um, so I will, um, I will ask you to stand up, and I will guide you through this.
40:00
Um- Okay right? We're not doing video, so I'm really pleased now.
'Cause, um, let me move my table.
You can hear it being moved probably.
Okay.
Are you standing up too? And if people at home want to stand up, well, I know for one that my dad won't be standing up straight away because he listens to it when he's in bed.
But, uh, maybe he can stand up and do it the following morning- So- when he does his exercises so you can do it flexibly.
So you can do it lie down, imagine it if you want to.
You can do it sitting.
You can do it Sophology lets you do it how you want in the way that you want.
Uh, but what we're going to do is we're going to have our arms down by our sides, and we're going to form fists with our hands.
And then we're going to take a big deep breath in and hold the breath, move the shoulders up and down by as quickly or as gently as you like, holding the breath.
And then when you want to release, you do a big deep breath out and go whoosh.
40:59
And we're gonna do it a second time Okay So we're gonna bring that, the arms back down.
41:04
We're gonna form the fists.
41:06
We're gonna take a big deep breath in, holding the breath.
41:10
Move those shoulders up and down, keeping hold of the breath, and when you're ready, you're releasing everything physically and mentally with a big whoosh out.
41:23
That is, um, a way to release tensions and stress from the body.
But you can also mentally imagine you're gathering up any stresses or pressures of the day and throwing them out, so you can have this wonderful intention at the same time as you're getting ready of w- getting rid of that stuff.
So doing that three times, doing that three times, when you're feeling kind of stressed, annoyed, angry, or whatever, whatever it is, get rid of all of that stuff.
A little breath, little pause.
41:56
See how you feel.
Thank you, Beryl.
And you said I put you on the spot, but I ended up putting myself on the spot, didn't I? To, to stand up and breathe out loud and, and do it all, but yeah.
No, it's, I, I will give it a go again later when perhaps I'm a little bit less self-conscious.
Thank you so much.
And, um, thank you so much for joining me today.
I've enjoyed it very much.
No idea where we've gone, what we've said, but I've enjoyed it.
It's absolutely fine.
Absolutely fine.
I've enjoyed the conversation.
Hopefully other people will have done, too.
So thank you so much.
Thank you.
Bye.
42:32
I hope today's conversation gave you something to think about.
42:35
If it did, please share it with someone.
42:37
Ripples matter.
42:38
You can also follow the show so you don't miss future episodes, and if you have reflections or ideas, then please leave a rating, or to support my work, head over to my Linktree, which you can find in the show notes.
42:51
But for now, stay caring, stay connected, stay curious.
Thanks for listening Well, I certainly landed myself there, didn't I? Beryl said I put her on the spot, and the next minute I'm standing up in my little box room where I use really only for my recordings, with my fists clenched and, um, doing that pumping breathing and breathing out.
43:14
So I wasn't expecting to have to do that.
43:16
So hopefully it didn't sound too bad to you all at the other end, and hopefully you do have something that you think to yourself, "Yeah, I've got something to take away now."
So yeah, I hope this episode gives you permission to breathe.
43:27
Go back out, find your lighthouse, your oak tree, a shed, whatever it is, that special place.
43:33
Be yourself.
Look after yourself, and then you're better placed, then we're all better placed to look after and care for others.
So take care