Latest / Vanity Farah with Chris Farah / Love After Lockup S7 E p 14 “No Crash Dummy”

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Love After Lockup S7 E p 14 “No Crash Dummy” · Vanity Farah with Chris Farah

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Hi, everyone. Welcome back to Vanity Fair. My name is
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Chris Farah, and I am excited to bring you another
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: episode of me recapping Love After Lockup, the trashiest show
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: possible made by our friends that also make 90 Day Fiance.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: I talk about TV shows and recapping like docuseries, talk
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: about pop culture, things, stuff like that. That's me and
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: welcome to my podcast and or you could be watching
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: on my YouTube and that's under Chris Farah. Hi, you guys.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: I'm so excited to be continuing on. I really like
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: this season of Love After Lockup and now we're going
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: to get you guys started. a new spinoff where we
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: have some sort of doctor that comes in, gives couple
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: relationship advice, which feels like these people could really use it.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: Soon we're going to have, I think, a 90-day Love
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: After Lockup spinoff. I'm sorry, crossover. That's what I feel
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: like is going to happen. However, I'm going to say
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: this on the 90-day episode I'm going to record for
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: the tell-all coming up, but I recently read on Reddit
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: that This idea that I think is so genius that
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: I'm going to put out there twice because it's not
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: my idea and I want good things for good people,
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: but also us, which is this. Wouldn't it be so
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: great if, and it works for both Love After Lockup
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: and 90 Day, but let's just say 90 Day. If
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: we could get couples to do a version, and again,
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: not my idea, this was someone on Reddit, wife swap.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: So you would have, but it's just couple, like whoever
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: it is, you just swap couples. members of couples of
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: 90 day fiance and watch them interact with someone else
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: that we also know who lived differently. You know what
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: I'm saying? Like if Paula, you know, lives in a van,
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: you know, would she, and this person would never come back,
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: but like, um, tiger Lily, could you imagine that switch? Anyway,
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: let's get to what we're talking about. I'm so thankful
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: that you guys are hanging out with me. Hi, and
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: I hope all is good. How are you? I am
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: going to jump back in my babes. So let's remember
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: our cast of characters. This is awesome. Love after lockup.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: And we are going to start with the thropple, honey.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: It's goddess Gigi. It's Demond, Mumu. It's Bonita showing who
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: has the ring. So obviously, as we know, Mumu is
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: now back with Gigi after having spent time with Bonita.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: And Gigi doesn't know that he spent time with Bonita,
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: but she probably assumes that he did and or sniffs it.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: And he is like, whatever. She's trying to like have
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: him learn a lesson. She's wearing a very black furry coat.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: It's that kind of like thick faux fur that I
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: can't wear, but other girls can. She's like, where were
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: you and who were you hanging out with? And he's like,
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: let's see, there was Dior, my baby. And there was
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: my mom, Nikita. And there was my other babies. And
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: she doesn't mention Bonita at the time. But when he
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: says Dior, any rational person would think probably Dior's other
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: parents there. That's your baby mama, the person that you
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: were with. And her name is Bonita, you know, but Gigi,
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: so she knows. Gigi's mad because he didn't answer that
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: FaceTime and he made like a whole to do like, oh,
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: I didn't answer the FaceTime because my phone was geeking.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: And then I put it down and then Dior spilled
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: tea on it. And we're like, you know, what's annoying
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: is that most iPhones are waterproof now. It's like, so
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: that would have done nothing. We cut to Benita. She
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: goes to a place called Dudas Tavern. Honey, she's wearing
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: a purple, very tight athletic two-piece and her nipples are hard.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: I mean, they're just, I mean, they're cutting through. I mean,
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: you know, whatever kind of like polyester, polythene, plastic, you know,
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: athletic wear that is, I mean, they are no match.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: She cold. She's mad. She's cold and mad. But one
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: thing that really helps, honey, ordering alcohol. She sits down.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: It's just her. She's like, I'm going to get two
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: lemon drops. Thanks. And two shots of tequila. Then her
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: friend C comes. Okay. We like C a lot. She
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: updates her friend on the fact that like, you know,
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: Moo Moo fucking left. He was with her. She made
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: a whole to do. She had everyone over. She had champagne.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: She made a cake. Okay. Then they F then, you know,
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: his parents had loaned her a car. So when he
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: wakes up, he's like, my teeth hurt or my tooth
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: hurts or whatever. And then, so she has to take
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: her car. She gets him, uh, or something like that.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: She didn't take the car. She gets him to urgent care,
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: but when he comes back, he takes the car and
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: he is just gone. He won't really respond to her.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: And she's like, so super pissed. And, you know, obviously
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: see like, is like, well, is there another bitch? And
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: here's the thing. We know that there is another bitch,
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: but Gigi's not a bitch. You know, who's an asshole.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: It's just unfortunate that it's always like, is there another bitch?
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: Instead of being like, is he a dirty dog dick
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: that's always going to do what dirty dog dicks do?
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: That's the better question because yes, he's a dirty dog
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: dick that's always going to do what dirty dog dicks do. This,
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: first of all, as someone who has unfortunately went to
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: so much acting school, I would love if there was
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: an acting exercise that I could do before vocal class
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: where I just have to say, dirty dog dick. That's
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: what dirty dog dicks do. What do dirty dog dicks do?
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: Dirty dog dicks do, you know, whatever. I'll make it up.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: I'll do better about it. But you know what? There's
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: a lot of Ds and D is a plosive. D, D, D. Okay.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: Double Ds. Okay. Here we are. So then she's like this. Also,
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: I think Nikita, his mom is like low key in
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: on it because like she's real vague with me and she,
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: you know, obviously it's his mom. So she's going to
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: like have his back or whatever. So she calls Nikita
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: and she's like, where's Mumu? And Nikita is like, he's resting.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: He called me. He was so much, so much pain.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: And then she's like, okay, where's the car? And Nikita's like,
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: oh yeah, no, we got it. We had to get
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: the oil change. Yeah. We didn't know how long you
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: guys were going to keep it. You guys didn't say that.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: So that's what's happening. Oil change. And then she's like, okay,
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: but when you talk to your son, he said that
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: he was so tired. Was he still at urgent care?
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: And she's like, I don't know. And that's when Bonita's like,
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: this is, this person's just pleading the fifth. I mean,
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: what can I do? This person's not going to do it.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: So then she hangs up and everyone understands what's happening.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: And we cut to where Mumu is, honey, with Gigi.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: And Gigi is a hairstylist. Now here's one thing about Gigi.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: Gigi must've taken the whole week off because Gigi expects
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: Mumu to be by her side 24 seven. For some reason,
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: she doesn't have hair clients that is busy and visiting
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: her day. Like she either took her whole week off
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: or what's happening. So we do get to see her
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: in her salon office and she braids his hair. Now
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: she braids to me, a non-black lady, tight and well,
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: those braids to me, a non-professional look good, really good.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: And I forget how into like, it is very intimate
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: to do someone's hair. And there's just not a lot
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: of times in which I have done a man's hair.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: And by any, like never, I've never washed a man's hair.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: I certainly haven't like styled it or like cut it or,
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: you know, done anything to it. But the act of
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: like the care involved in the washing and like how
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: delicate and precise, braiding is. I forget how, yeah, just
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: like deeply intimate to, to share that and be doing
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: that with someone. And then he's like an asshole, right?
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: Like he is like, yeah, you know, lying to her.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, after this, now that I'm back, I'm
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: going to go for a little bit. She's like, what?
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: You literally just got here. We've spent no time together.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: He's like, yeah, I got, I listen, I'm now not
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: in prison. So my version of that is to do
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: with a I want. And that means I'm gonna go
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: to the strip club. Now, when he said strip club,
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: at first he was kind of like, oh, I shouldn't
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: have said that. But then it became this thing where
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: it was kind of like, yeah, yeah, I should. Because
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: that's what I should be doing. Gigi's pissed. She's like,
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: all right, well then fuck you. And I'm sorry I
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: got here to do your hair for free. And then
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: just you see yourself out and also shut my door.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: And she just peaces out. She leaves. She says that
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: he manipulates her. And that's true. But, you know, interestingly enough,
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: the way you said that word and the act itself
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: is missing one key component. The role of you. Manipulate.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: There's a you in there. There's a component that you allow,
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: we allow to be manipulated because, you know, I think
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: with Gigi and I think with other people and us
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: and We sometimes get sniffs, red flags. Surely Gigi knows
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: that he's a dirty dog dick. I'll keep saying it.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: But she still did his hair afterward. For free. So
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: he can go to the strip club looking good. And
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: back to bittiness. You know what I'm saying? So anyway,
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: God bless. So... He's like, I need, listen, I give
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: you time, but there's also like the time in which
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: I need to build outside of you. And I'm like,
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: at the strip club? She says that she's a bomb
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: and that if you drop me, I'll blow up. He
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: says later on that he's on his way to his
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: other half, which is Benita, which I realize is kind
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: of like a big deal. Like for you to say that,
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: you know, someone's your other half and you're trying to
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: be in a polyamorous relationship. How many halves do you have?
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: If someone is your other half, I'm assuming if there's
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: someone else involved like a gg like she's not getting
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: anything she's just getting what broken fingernails you know i'm
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: saying like things you don't need discarded so Benita though, sees, um,
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: his Instagram pic because he's like still out, you know,
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: he's like definitely like out till three or four and
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: she's upset. I'm sorry. If I said this awkwardly, he
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: goes back to, I think Gigi's in the morning, like
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: three or four. So Benita is still upset. And in
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: her bed, she looks and on Instagram and she, you know,
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: he's been posting, he has a story with his hair
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: freshly braided. She's like, what the fuck? What the fuck?
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: There's a great meme of just someone, I think it's
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: like a lady looking at a computer screen and in
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: her glasses, you see that she's reading a screen and
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: the screen says, what the fuck? And that's exactly what
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: she did. She smashes that welcome home cake. Honey, she's
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: so upset. There is just so many empty bottles of
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: champagne just littered around her house. You know what I'm saying?
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: And she puts her ring in the cake, which I
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: was like, I don't know about that girl, palm the ring.
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: And then he pulls up and knocks and we're like,
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: oh my God. Okay. Cyrus and Dia, let's move on.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: So he's giving himself a close shave morning after their
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: bone fest with an electric razor. And he's like, oh,
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: my God, it's been so long since I've had this
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: close shave. And we're like, with a vagina? Because, you know,
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: they just had sex. But he met the shaver. He's like, yeah,
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: I'm in prison. They have really dull razors. And we're like,
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: is this also a sexual euphemism? Are you still continuing on? Yeah.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: We know this trick because, again, same producers as 90 Day.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: We just saw it with Mito and Debbie and whatnot,
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: is that there's this, we need to isolate each person
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: even though they're in a small space so the producers
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: can always ask them, how was it? How was the sex?
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: How was it? Now, here's the thing. I thank them
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: for that. That probably is the most basic human nature.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: The most human part of these shows to me is
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: the need to know how the sex was. How was it?
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: Because love after lockup is this, like there's, you know,
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: not to just continually talk about both shows, but love
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: after lockup, right, has this added bonus of that the
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: sex that we're about to talk about surely, assumingly, hasn't
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: happened for one of the people at least for a
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: temporary too long period of time. Now, sexual behavior being
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: as it is, we can all get our rocks off
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: in different ways and we understand that. And we don't,
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: assume that people don't, but you know what I'm saying?
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: Like it's always an interesting topic. So they ask him
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: and we realized, you know, he was quick. That's also
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: the moral of the story. You know, it's a quick situation.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: He's been in prison for a long time. He just
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: said that it was nice to have a warm body
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: to be next to. And they have to drive him
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: back to the halfway house. She's upset, though, because she
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: has to tell her kids that Cyrus is no longer
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: going to be living with them. And we're all like,
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: that's a great idea, fucking bitch. And she's like, man,
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: they're going to be so mad. They're daddies. They're like
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: this person they never met before. Nothing is crazier to me.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: And it happens almost every season. And this is also gendered,
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: but here we are. because it doesn't unfortunately happen that
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: much in the opposite, but I would surely be upset
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: where a parent with really young kids is going to
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: just move their felon lover right in. And either they
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: haven't really met them. They certainly haven't like, you know,
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: lived together and their kids haven't met them. It's just,
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: it's always, it's always not the greatest, you know, but.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: he has to go see his mom. He hasn't seen
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: his mom yet, but they're still at the halfway house. Um,
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: and he kind of talks about the fact that he
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: forgives his mom. Uh, he doesn't really say that he's just,
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: he hasn't seen his mom in a minute because she
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: only saw him twice when he was in prison. He
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: doesn't really need to forgive her. That was a weird choice.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: He sort of just accepts and understands that people have
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: lives and they're not going to come, you know, come
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: visit you, I guess, and have it be a hard
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: situation because you made bad choices. So, um, When he
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: gets out of the halfway house, he's like, we need
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: to talk. I have some bad news. And we're like,
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: oh my God, what's it going to be? And he says,
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: they are taking me back to jail today that a
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: warrant popped up. And we're like, oh, we believe it.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: A warrant popping up is also such a funny way
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: of saying that. Like popped? Is it like a, we
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: mean pop up, but like a, like, is it a zit?
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: Like you weren't expecting it? Popped up like an ingrown hair?
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: You just, you know, like, oops. Sometimes people say like,
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: I caught a case. Like I caught a case and,
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: you know, and that's always so interesting to me because
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: it's like COVID or the measles. It's kind of like, well,
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: I was hanging out with people with COVID and I
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: caught a case of it. I knew it could happen
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: and I caught it. There's a good possibility that I
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: wouldn't catch it because, but this time I caught it.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: Thank you. catching a lot of disease. You're just like,
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: oh my God. Okay. So, but JK, that's not what's happening.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: They're on the way to her sister Claudia's house and
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: we meet her sister Claudia and her sister Claudia's daughter.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: They have like a certain look. Um, it's like dark hair.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: It's tattooed eyebrows. It's, you know, like thick blocked tattooed eyebrows.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: It's heavy, heavy eyeliner, heavy eyeliner, like thick winged, sharp Dark.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: To me, yeah, it's a lot of harshness is the
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: overall aesthetic. It's a very harsh aesthetic. She's also wearing
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: a neon yellow tank and cameo overalls with one of
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: the overall, what's it called? Buttons? I don't know. Things, hooks? Undone.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: That part I liked. There are empty alcohol bottles all
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: over her kitchen. And then Cindy, his mom walks up.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: Cindy looks, I mean, super normal. And I see that
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: like kind of like almost too normal. And she seems
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: to be resigned to her son and what his lot
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: has been thusly she seems overall like a nice kind of,
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: I just can't quite place her. Like, I don't know
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: what she does or what kind of, she doesn't, her
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: overall demeanor just seemed unremarkable in the sense that I,
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: all I got was like a sad, nice, sad lady, sad,
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: nice lady, you know? Okay. So Allie, her niece has
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: one of those like Japanese, I think it's called hand cuts.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: Tell me where it is where, you know, it's like
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: stick straight hair. And then there's like the layer that's
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: right by your face that is a rectangle and it's short.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: And then the hair underneath it comes down. It's really cute. Obviously,
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: it's a very K-poppy. I hope it's Japanese when I
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: said that and not just Korean. I don't know. I
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: see a lot of like hot young Asian girls. You know,
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: I'm talking about sporting it. So when Cyrus and Dia
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: pull up, They're all together. Liz, the mom of... So sorry,
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: let me just get this right. Cindy is Cyrus's mom.
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: Liz is Dia's mom. All the ladies are together with Cyrus.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: The mom obviously cries. Sister says she wants to take
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: a shot with Cyrus. Her mom asks if that's a
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: good idea. Then he says he's going to go to
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: the liquor store soon. We're assuming because there's not enough
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: alcohol at this party for all these ladies when that
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: means weird. Dia says, that's fine. Let him drink because
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: she really wants a guy to drink with. Her last boyfriend,
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: she always felt like he made, I don't know, he
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: was like her son. He made her feel like she
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: was the mom, she says. Now, we have to look
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: at this bitch right in her face and be like, bitch,
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: you just because you always, it's because you stay dating
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: younger men. That's on you. You stay dating younger men.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: That's why. So then her older sister like smokes a
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: blunt and tells Cyrus outside that she doesn't want him
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: and to be like no crash test dummy for her sister.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: And then we're like, because if you are above an age,
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: you remember that that one point there was a one
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: hit wonder by a band called the crash test dummies.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: And there was also, I always get the crash test
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: dummies in that song, a little bit confused with Never
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: Run Away Train. Run away train, never going back. Okay. Listen,
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: there is a certain sect of people listening to this
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: right now that are like mad at me for calling
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: out this certain like pop culture moment because it happened
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: so long ago that if you know it like me. Honey,
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: we've been living and we're wise. Okay, Brady and Kirsten.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: So she's getting ready to drive six hours up to
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: Wichita because he has a pass. So she's in the car.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: Guess what with her kids? Her kids are Phoenix and Riot.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: She tells Brady, she tells them that we're going to
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: go visit Brady, that they all got a hotel. They're
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: all staying together in a room. And her kids should
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: be so happy because it means pool time. And the
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: kids are happy. And especially her daughter, Phoenix, is like,
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: I can't wait to see you kiss each other. She's like, what?
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: You're so dumb. She's like, you know, there's a certain
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: time in which you like. It's funny because, yeah, to me,
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: little to me, girls usually find their sexuality or start
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: to pick up on romance and sexuality a little faster
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: than boys. And if you were me or we were
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: way too young, honey. Because I watched that Prince video, Cream,
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: and I was like, what's happening? What's happening? He turned
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: me on. That's what happened. A young Chrissy was turned
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: on by Prince. Again, with the video, Cream, which already
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: tells you that I'm a certain age. That can also
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: reference soul asylums, runaway train, and cross-test dummies. Mm-hmm. What
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: the hell? I think it's called Mm-hmm. Dear God. So...
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: They pick up Brady and he's so excited. The little
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: boy riots like, was prison hard? Which is the greatest.
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: Phoenix wants to hug him. He's like, okay, I'll hug you.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: He's very good with her kids. He has two daughters.
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: He has two. twin girls with, of course, who we've met,
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: his ex-baby mama, Corey, who's friends with Kirsten. They're all
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: obviously friends from the same hometown. Now I've said this before,
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: I'll say it again, probably one of the hotter friend circles.
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: Corey's gorgeous. His daughters are beautiful. Kirsten's really pretty and
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: Brady's not bad looking if he wasn't so, you know,
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: heroin looking, just the gauntness, right? So he can't get
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: in the pool and Because of that ankle monitor, it's
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: 1K if he ruins it. And he talks about the
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: fact that his daughters were six when he went to prison.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: Now they're 11. Kirsten has paid for the daughters to
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: come stay at this hotel so they can all spend
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: time together. Again, she's getting the hotel, but Corey has
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: to get the girls up there six hours. So that's
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: what's happening. At one point... he goes downstairs to get
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: something from his car and the producers follow him. And
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: it feels like a moment where we're like, is he
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: like just getting a little overstimulated? Is he going to
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: the car to get something? What the fuck is he
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: getting from a car? Is it a, what is it?
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: And they don't really like give us any answers, if
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: that makes sense. But then Corey calls and says that
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: unfortunately his daughter, he has two, again, twin daughters, Hunter
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: and Remington, Rem, Remy, has swollen lymph nodes. So she can't, come.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: And they're, you know, obviously really upset, but not mean upset,
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: more like sad. And he's like, I just want to
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: come to her now, but you know, here we are.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: Rich and Felicia, my loves. Okay. They're shopping for clothes.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: They don't fit her anymore because honey, she got chunky.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: She's used to Sicilian men treating women like a queen.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: Now what she doesn't say is sometimes they cheat and
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: stuff like that, but you know, we're coming from a
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: situation where she really just wants, listen, She wants Rich
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: to pay for her clothes, but Rich isn't rich. Rich
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: is only like moderately okay. And she wants him to
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: be rich and pay for her clothes. Now, what we
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: also get to see is her trying on clothes and
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: them being incredibly cheap. And for some reason, this place
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: being really expensive. And then her being like, yeah, I
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: have a manager who, like a talent manager, takes... money
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: from me because i make so much money sugar babying
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: off websites she keeps me in track and i have
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: an assistant but then she's also asking for money for
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: these clothes and she's saying all this in front of
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: rich and it feels like it's she's doing herself a
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: disservice he's like i thought you were going to give
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: up all that she's like well i thought you weren't
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: married where's the proof and he's like So then we
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: go to her family's for a crawfish boil, hunting them,
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: a Sicilian crawfish boil. And then her bro Frankie comes up,
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: which is nice, but she's back with her cousin, back
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: with her aunt Stephanie. And halfway, by the way, she
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: has like three different confessional looks. We see Stephanie, I'm sorry,
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: we see Felicia with regular, regular eyelashes and her eyes
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: are open. And then at some point later, she gets
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: super stoned and puts on the thickest eyelashes I've ever seen.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: She can barely open her eyes at her confessionals, but
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: that's how you know what's happening. She's like, aunt Stephanie,
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: fun cousin that like came to Bourbon street with me
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: and like, you know, tagged along. I just don't feel
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: like there's enough drama at this party. Um, there's definitely
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: a lot more crawfish than drama. So can we like
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: amp it up? The cameras are here. Go make a scene.
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: He didn't buy me enough clothes. Ask him if he's married.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: So Stephanie does. And he gets really upset and like
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: storms off. Where's my girl? Then like, then like, but
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: instead of like wanting to talk to Felicia about whatever,
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: just takes off all of his equipment. Like he's done
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: filming and And then the producer's like, well, buddy, are
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: you fucking married? And he's like, I'm just a private person.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: And he's worried about it. We're like, oh, I guess
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: you are. Okay. Kaylee, Kayla, Kaylee, sorry, Kaylee and Michael.
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: So by the way, she said works gross when we
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: see her. And I'm like, oh, I didn't know that
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: you were a nurse. She's also wearing Quay glasses, which
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: we know that. Is that how you say that? Q-U-A-Y? Quay? Quay? Q-I? Quay? Anyway.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: She's driving in her messy ass Jeep, brand new Jeep.
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: And she talks about having a date now. Now she
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: knows she's fucked up because he has the bank statements
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: of everything. And she have obviously opened up all these
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: credit card things. And she didn't pay like his bills.
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: She didn't do a bunch of stuff. And for some reason,
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: she still wants to be with him. And she's like
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: wondering how he's going to take it. And we're supposed
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: to believe this is real. But this feels like a
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: sitcom from like the 70s. That's how outlandish the tone
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: is of their segments. Okay. So he's in the halfway house, honey.
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: And he hurt his knee because he jumped out of
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: that fucking Jeep, honey. And he landed on it wrong.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: So she's going to bring him a knee brace. And then,
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: so he comes out of the halfway house and then
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: he's like curtain short and she's like passive aggressive. And
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: at one point he's like, you spend $ 1, 200 a month
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: on coffee. And we're like at Starbucks. Also, is it
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: the egg bites? Like it's not just coffee, right? I'm
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: assuming it's egg bites and other yummy things. And also,
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: can you tell us your favorite order? Again, the scene
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: is such bad acting that I can't really talk about it,
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: but he's basically like, I'm going to go on a
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: job interview and I'm going to do a really good job.
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: So I'm not going to get mad at you. And
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: because I do things right when I tell you I'm
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: going to do it, you don't do it. You say
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: you're going to do things and you don't do it.
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: You're a fucking liar. And she like feels bad about it.
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: So then he goes on his, God bless. It is
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: a job interview set up by his mom. So his
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: mom picks him up and it's her boyfriend's company. Now her,
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: the mom is wearing, again, fucking pigtails and a red
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: handkerchief bandeau top. And she's like, To him, don't embarrass me.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: That's what she says to him at this job interview. Now,
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: for some reason, this woman has a, this woman has
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: a boyfriend that owns an HVAC business in the state
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: of Arizona. So God bless her. Okay. I don't. Guess what?
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: Pat is her boyfriend and Pat's like, nice to meet you.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: He's like, I know that you've been a hustler. I'm
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: a hustler, baby. Okay. He's like, I don't know if
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: I can trust you. He's like, you know, I know
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: I just want to like, you know, revamp my life. Also,
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: there's this low key thing like you haven't met me.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: You've been dating my mom. So you might think you're
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: doing me a favor, but you also need me on
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: your side. Also, what are you going to do? Not
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: give me a job and try to continue to fuck
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: my mom? I mean, try. So then, of course, he's like,
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: good check. I got the job. He gets the job.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: Not a big surprise. He has to get his license
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: to drive a certain thing, but he has to go
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: to DMV. His mom drives him there. And guess what?
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: She was supposed to pay Kaylee $ 6, 000 in fees and
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: she didn't. So he had to pay the fees, but
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: he's been keeping money on the side because he got
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: his mom to invest in some like day trading situation.
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: So that's what's happening. He pays his fees and he's upset. And,
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: you know, we don't know if date night's going to
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: happen because when he left after getting the knee brace,
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: he was like, maybe probably. Probably. Probably. Oh, my loves.
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: There it is. Another episode done. Thank you so much
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: for spending time with me. If you want, please give
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: me five stars wherever you listen to podcasts. It can
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: be Apple, it can be Spotify. You can also follow me.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: I'm on YouTube. Hi, I'm Chris Farah. I'm also on Facebook,
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: Chris Farah. I have a private Facebook group, Vanity Farah.
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: I am on TikTok and I'm on Instagram. It's at
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: Chris L Farah, all of those, or you can join
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: my sub stack. It's $ 5 a month and it helps me,
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: you know, substack.com slash Chris Farah. Thank you for that.
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: Let's breathe and I'll let you go on your merry
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: ways and I appreciate you. Hand to heart, a moment
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: of presence amongst the chaos. Plant yourself, be with me,
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: shall we? Don't think of anything but just that you
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: are safe, that you are with a certain amount of
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: love and warmth and that you're chill. One of those, okay?
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: Let's do it. All right, my babes, take care of
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: yourselves and one another. Stand up for what you believe
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: and make art.