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SYSK’s 2018 Super Spooktacular · Stuff You Should Know

0:03
Speaker 1: Hey, and welcome to the Spooky Halloween Podcast. I'm yeah
0:09
Speaker 1: very nice. I'm Joshua Lander and Clark. There's Bride of
0:13
Speaker 1: Chucky Bryant, and there's Jarifying Roland. Jerry said she has
0:18
Speaker 1: no time for us this year, so we have to
0:20
Speaker 1: make all our own sound effects with our own mouths.
0:22
Speaker 1: That sounds good, that's cool, we can do that. Watch this.
0:28
Speaker 1: That was terrifying. Yeah. All the spit, I think is
0:33
Speaker 1: what made it so terrifying. Um so, chuck, this is
0:38
Speaker 1: our annual Halloween episode. I don't know if anyone told
0:40
Speaker 1: you this yet. Are spook tacular? Yes, it's right. And
0:44
Speaker 1: uh for those of you who have just found the
0:46
Speaker 1: podcast recently and this is your first time, every Christmas
0:50
Speaker 1: and Halloween we present an ad free episode for your enjoyment.
0:54
Speaker 1: This has nothing to do with explaining anything. It's just
0:57
Speaker 1: some spooky stories that we like to read and then
1:00
Speaker 1: Jerry adds a little sound design. But apparently this year
1:03
Speaker 1: it's up to us. That's right, So do you want
1:05
Speaker 1: to do it? Let's do it? Okay, So I say
1:09
Speaker 1: that we start with my pick, the Algerin in Blackwood
1:13
Speaker 1: um story ancient lights, great dim the lights? Everybody get
1:20
Speaker 1: whatever you do to get into the spooky mood. Um.
1:24
Speaker 1: I don't know how you play it in your houses,
1:26
Speaker 1: but dim the lights you do. Maybe get a cat
1:31
Speaker 1: let it stare at you for a little while. It's
1:32
Speaker 1: pretty creepy. That's the sweetest thing ever, a cat staring
1:37
Speaker 1: at you. Sure. Maybe take the your witch's broom out
1:46
Speaker 1: of the closet. Oh yeah, then that'll set a mood. Um.
1:50
Speaker 1: Put up your cobwebs. Don't clean those out and put
1:53
Speaker 1: them up. Yeah, what are you doing cleaning them out?
1:56
Speaker 1: You need spiders to keep pesky bugs away, that's right,
2:00
Speaker 1: and then you keep lizards to eat the spiders. That's right. See,
2:03
Speaker 1: you did learn something today. I did. Okay, you're ready,
2:08
Speaker 1: allow me to start, please, Jerry, if you please, thank you, Jerry.
2:16
Speaker 1: Jerry's already asleep. This is ancient lights by Elgin and Blackwood.
2:25
Speaker 1: From South Water where he left the train. The road
2:28
Speaker 1: led due west that he knew for the rest he
2:32
Speaker 1: trusted to luck, being one of those born walkers who
2:36
Speaker 1: dislikes asking the way. He had that instinct, and as
2:40
Speaker 1: a rule it served him well. A mile or so
2:43
Speaker 1: due west along the Sandy Road till you come to
2:46
Speaker 1: a style on the right, then across the fields, you'll
2:49
Speaker 1: see the red house straight before you. He glanced at
2:53
Speaker 1: the postcard's instructions once again, and once again he tried
2:56
Speaker 1: to decipher the scratched out sentence, without success. It had
3:01
Speaker 1: been so elaborately inked over that no word was legible.
3:06
Speaker 1: Inked Out sentences in a letter were always enticing. He
3:10
Speaker 1: wondered what it was that had to be so very
3:12
Speaker 1: carefully obliterated. The afternoon was boisterous, with a tearing, shouting
3:19
Speaker 1: wind that blew from the sea across the Sussex wheeld
3:23
Speaker 1: have no idea what a wield This massive clouds with
3:27
Speaker 1: round had piled up edges cannoned across gaping spaces of
3:31
Speaker 1: blue sky far away. The line of downs swept the
3:35
Speaker 1: horizon like an arriving wave. Chuck, dumberry ring which I
3:40
Speaker 1: looked up. It's an old hill fort from years ago
3:43
Speaker 1: and a Celtic temple. Okay, bear that in mind. So
3:47
Speaker 1: this old hill fort, he's saying, rode the crest of
3:52
Speaker 1: the horizon like a wave. Okay, a scudding ship holed
3:57
Speaker 1: down before the wind. He took his hat off and
4:01
Speaker 1: walked rapidly, breathing great drafts of air with delight and exhilaration.
4:06
Speaker 1: This guy really liked walking. Man, he's the opposite of me.
4:10
Speaker 1: You would this would be chucking a segway this whole
4:13
Speaker 1: time right the road was deserted, no horseman, bicycles or motors,
4:18
Speaker 1: not even a tradesman's cart, no single walker. But anyhow,
4:23
Speaker 1: he would never have asked the way, keeping a sharp
4:26
Speaker 1: eye for the style. And by the way, chuck, his
4:28
Speaker 1: style is like a little thing that humans can use
4:31
Speaker 1: to get over, like a cattle fence, but like cattle
4:35
Speaker 1: can't get through, so like maybe steps on either side
4:38
Speaker 1: of a fence style. Okay, m hmm, stupid cows. I
4:42
Speaker 1: know I can't walk up steps. Keeping a sharp eye
4:46
Speaker 1: for the style, he pounded along while the wind tossed
4:49
Speaker 1: the cloak against his face and made waves across the
4:52
Speaker 1: blue puddles and the yellow road. The trees showed their
4:55
Speaker 1: under leaves of white, the bracken and the high new
4:58
Speaker 1: grass bent all one way. Great life was in the day,
5:03
Speaker 1: high spirits and dancing everywhere, And for a Croydon surveyor's
5:07
Speaker 1: clerk just out of an office, this was like a
5:09
Speaker 1: holiday at the sea. It was a day for high adventure,
5:13
Speaker 1: and his heart rose up to meet the mood of nature.
5:16
Speaker 1: His umbrella with the silver ring ought to have been
5:18
Speaker 1: a sword, and his brown shoes should have been top
5:21
Speaker 1: boots with spurs on the heels. Where hid the enchanted
5:24
Speaker 1: castle in the princess with the hair of sunny gold.
5:27
Speaker 1: His horse, the Style, suddenly came into view and nipped
5:31
Speaker 1: adventure in the bud. Everyday clothes took him prisoner again.
5:35
Speaker 1: He was a surveyor's clerk, middle aged, earning three pounds
5:39
Speaker 1: a week, coming from Croydon to see about a client's
5:42
Speaker 1: proposed alterations in a wood, something to ensure a better
5:46
Speaker 1: view from the dining room window. Across the fields, perhaps
5:49
Speaker 1: a mile away. He saw the red house gleaming in
5:52
Speaker 1: the sunshine, and resting on the Style a moment to
5:55
Speaker 1: get his breath, he noticed the copes of oak and
5:57
Speaker 1: horn beam on the right. Aha, he told himself, so
6:01
Speaker 1: that must be the wood he wants to cut down
6:03
Speaker 1: to improve the view. I'll have a look at it.
6:06
Speaker 1: There were boards up, of course, but there was an
6:09
Speaker 1: inviting little path as well. I'm not a trespasser, he said,
6:13
Speaker 1: It's part of my business. This is he scrambled awkwardly
6:16
Speaker 1: over the gate and entered the copes. A little round
6:19
Speaker 1: would bring him to the field again. My turn, take
6:23
Speaker 1: it away, chuckers. All right, here we go. Should we
6:26
Speaker 1: catch people up? What's this guy doing? He's walking a lot,
6:28
Speaker 1: he's walking. He's walking, and he's going to be a
6:31
Speaker 1: client who wants to cut down some woods. And he
6:33
Speaker 1: thinks he's just now found the woods. All but the
6:36
Speaker 1: moment he passed among the trees, the wind ceased shouting,
6:39
Speaker 1: and a stillness dropped upon the world. So dense was
6:42
Speaker 1: the growth that the sunshine only came through and isolated patches.
6:46
Speaker 1: The air was close. He mopped his forehead, but his
6:50
Speaker 1: green felt hat on, but a low branch knocked it
6:52
Speaker 1: off again at once, and as he stooped, an elastic
6:56
Speaker 1: twig swung back and stung his face. There were flowers along, sorry,
7:04
Speaker 1: there were flowers along both edges of the little path,
7:07
Speaker 1: glades open on either side, Ferns curved about in damper corners,
7:12
Speaker 1: and the smell of earth and foliage was rich and sweet.
7:17
Speaker 1: It was cooler here. What an enchanting little wood, he thought,
7:21
Speaker 1: turning down a small green glade where the sunshine flickered
7:24
Speaker 1: like silver wings. How it danced and fluttered and moved about.
7:28
Speaker 1: He put a dark blue flower in his button hole.
7:31
Speaker 1: M whatever floats your boat foal again? His hat caught
7:37
Speaker 1: by an oak branch as he rose, was knocked from
7:40
Speaker 1: his head, falling across his eyes. This guy's a mess,
7:45
Speaker 1: and this time he did not put it on again.
7:47
Speaker 1: Swinging his umbrella, he walked on with uncovered head, whistling
7:51
Speaker 1: rather loudly as he went. But the thickness of the
7:54
Speaker 1: trees hardly encouraged whistling, and something of his gaiety and
7:58
Speaker 1: high spirit seemed to leave him. He suddenly found himself
8:01
Speaker 1: treading circumspectly and with caution. The stillness in the wood
8:06
Speaker 1: was so peculiar. There was a rustle among the ferns
8:09
Speaker 1: and leaves, and something shot across the path ten yards ahead.
8:12
Speaker 1: Stopped abruptly. An instant with head cocked sideways to stare,
8:16
Speaker 1: then dived again beneath the underbrush with the speed of
8:19
Speaker 1: a shadow. He started like a frightened child, laughing the
8:23
Speaker 1: next second that a mere pheasant could have made him jump.
8:26
Speaker 1: In the distance, he heard wheels upon the road and
8:28
Speaker 1: wondered why the sound was pleasant good Old Butcher's Cot,
8:33
Speaker 1: he said to himself, his accent changed. I guess I
8:36
Speaker 1: like it. I'm not. I'm not sure where he's from.
8:42
Speaker 1: Good Old Butcher's Cot, he said to himself. Then realized
8:45
Speaker 1: that he was going in the wrong direction and had
8:48
Speaker 1: somehow got turned round, for the road should be behind him,
8:51
Speaker 1: not in front, and he hurriedly took another narrow glade
8:54
Speaker 1: that lost itself in greenness to the right. That's my direction,
8:57
Speaker 1: of course, he said. How he's show connor. I think
9:01
Speaker 1: so all right. The trees has mixed me up a bit,
9:04
Speaker 1: it seems. Then found himself abruptly by the gate he
9:08
Speaker 1: had first climbed over. He had merely made a circle.
9:12
Speaker 1: Surprise became almost discomfiture. Then it's a new one for me.
9:18
Speaker 1: And a man dressed like a gamekeeper in brownie green
9:21
Speaker 1: leaned against the gate, hitting his legs with a switch.
9:25
Speaker 1: I'm making for Mr Lumley's farm, explained the walker. This
9:29
Speaker 1: is his wood, I believe, then stopped dead because it
9:33
Speaker 1: was no man at all, but merely an effect of
9:36
Speaker 1: light and shade and foliage. He stepped back to reconstruct
9:40
Speaker 1: the singular illusion, but the wind shook the branches roughly
9:43
Speaker 1: here on the edge of the wood. The foliage refused
9:45
Speaker 1: to reconstruct the figure, leaves all rustled strangely. Just then
9:49
Speaker 1: the sun went behind a cloud, making the whole would
9:52
Speaker 1: look otherwise. Yet how the mind could be thus doubly
9:55
Speaker 1: deceived was indeed remarkable, for it almost seemed to him
9:59
Speaker 1: the man had sward spoken, or was this the shuffling
10:03
Speaker 1: noise the branches made, and had pointed with this switch
10:07
Speaker 1: to the notice board upon the nearest tree. The words
10:11
Speaker 1: rang on in his head, but of course he had
10:13
Speaker 1: imagined them. No, it's not his wood, it's ours. That's
10:19
Speaker 1: good stuff. And some village wit moreover had changed the
10:23
Speaker 1: lettering on the weather beaten board, for it read quite plainly,
10:27
Speaker 1: trespassers will be persecuted. Teenagers no skateboarding either. And while
10:34
Speaker 1: the astonished clerk read the words and chuckled, he said
10:37
Speaker 1: to himself, thinking what a tale he'd have to tell
10:39
Speaker 1: his wife and children later. The blooming wood has tried
10:42
Speaker 1: to chuck me out. But I'll go in again. Why
10:45
Speaker 1: it's only a matter of a square acre at most.
10:48
Speaker 1: I'm bound to reach the fields on the other side
10:50
Speaker 1: if I keep straight on here This guy's really all
10:53
Speaker 1: over the place of ny. I feel like he's kind
10:55
Speaker 1: of settled into a real weird accent. But I like it.
11:00
Speaker 1: He remembered his position in the office. He had a
11:02
Speaker 1: certain dignity to maintain. So he's he's freaking out a
11:07
Speaker 1: little bit, like the woods are like playing tricks on him.
11:10
Speaker 1: It seems like the lst is kicking in for sure.
11:14
Speaker 1: He's like, I shouldn't have plucked that weird mushroom from
11:16
Speaker 1: that cow poop, okay, m The cloud passed from below
11:22
Speaker 1: the sun and light splashed suddenly in all manner of
11:25
Speaker 1: unlikely places. The man went straight on. He felt a
11:29
Speaker 1: touch of puzzling confusion somewhere this way the copes had
11:32
Speaker 1: of shifting from sunshine into shadow doubtless troubled site a little.
11:37
Speaker 1: To his relief, at last a new glade open through
11:40
Speaker 1: the trees and just closed the fields with the glimpse
11:43
Speaker 1: of the red house in the distance at the far end.
11:46
Speaker 1: But a little wicked gate that stood across the path
11:48
Speaker 1: had to first be climbed, and as he scrambled heavily
11:51
Speaker 1: over it for it would not open, he got the
11:54
Speaker 1: astonishing feeling that it slid off sideways beneath his weight
11:58
Speaker 1: toward the wood like the moving staircases at Herod's in
12:02
Speaker 1: Earl's Court, and I think he's talking about escalators. It
12:06
Speaker 1: began to glide off with him. It was quite horrible,
12:10
Speaker 1: and he made a violent effort to get down before
12:12
Speaker 1: it carried him into the trees. But his feet became
12:15
Speaker 1: entangled with the bars and umbrella, so that he fell
12:18
Speaker 1: heavily upon the farther side. Arms spread across the grass,
12:21
Speaker 1: and nettles boots clutched between the first and second bars. Suddenly,
12:25
Speaker 1: Benny Hill came around the corner. Maybe Jerry will add
12:29
Speaker 1: yakety sacks to that part. Oh, that'd be great. He
12:34
Speaker 1: lay there a moment like a man crucified upside down,
12:38
Speaker 1: and while he struggled to get disentangled, feet, bars and
12:41
Speaker 1: umbrella formed a regular net. He saw the little man
12:44
Speaker 1: in Brownie Green go past him with extreme rapidity through
12:47
Speaker 1: the wood. The man was laughing. He passed across the
12:51
Speaker 1: glades some fifty yards away, and he was not alone
12:54
Speaker 1: this time. A companion like himself went with him. The clerk,
12:58
Speaker 1: now upon his feet again, watched them disappear into the
13:01
Speaker 1: gloom of green beyond. You want to take this quote
13:05
Speaker 1: that tramps not gamekeepers. He said to himself, half mortified,
13:11
Speaker 1: half angry, apparently half deranged. But his heart was thumping dreadfully,
13:16
Speaker 1: and he dared not utter all his thought. He examined
13:19
Speaker 1: the wicket gate, convinced it was a trick gate somehow,
13:23
Speaker 1: then went hurriedly on again, disturbed beyond belief to see
13:26
Speaker 1: that the glade no longer opened into the fields, but
13:29
Speaker 1: curved away to the right. What in the world had
13:32
Speaker 1: happened to him? His sight was so utterly at fault again.
13:36
Speaker 1: The sun flamed out abruptly and lit the floor of
13:39
Speaker 1: woods with pools of silver, And at the same moment
13:42
Speaker 1: a violent gust of wind passed, shouting overhead. Drops fell
13:46
Speaker 1: clattering everywhere upon, the leaves making a sharp pattering as
13:49
Speaker 1: of many footsteps. The whole coat shuddered and went moving
13:54
Speaker 1: chuck brain by. George thought the clerk, and, feeling for
13:58
Speaker 1: his umbrella, discovered he had lost it. He turned back
14:01
Speaker 1: to the gate and found it lying on the farther side.
14:04
Speaker 1: To his amazement, he saw the fields at the far
14:06
Speaker 1: end of the glade. The red house too, shine in
14:09
Speaker 1: the sunset. He laughed, then, for of course and his
14:12
Speaker 1: struggles with the gate, he had somehow got turned around,
14:16
Speaker 1: had fallen back instead of forwards. Climbing over this time
14:20
Speaker 1: quite easily, he retraced his steps. The silver band he
14:23
Speaker 1: saw had been torn off of the umbrella, no doubt,
14:26
Speaker 1: his foot, a nail or something had caught in it
14:29
Speaker 1: and ripped it off. The clerk began to run. He
14:32
Speaker 1: felt extraordinarily dismayed. But while he ran, the entire wood
14:37
Speaker 1: ran with him round him, to and fro, trees shifting
14:40
Speaker 1: like living things, leaves folding and unfolding, trunks darting backwards
14:45
Speaker 1: and forwards, and branches disclosing enormous empty spaces and then
14:49
Speaker 1: closing up again before he could look into them. There
14:51
Speaker 1: were footsteps everywhere, and laughing, crying voices, and crowds of
14:55
Speaker 1: figures gathering just behind his back, till the glade he
14:58
Speaker 1: knew was thick with moving life. The wind in his ears,
15:02
Speaker 1: of course, produced the voices in the laughter, while the
15:05
Speaker 1: sun and clouds plunging the copes alternately in shadow and
15:08
Speaker 1: bright dazzling light, created the figures. But he did not
15:12
Speaker 1: like it. And when as fast as ever his sturdy
15:14
Speaker 1: legs could take it, he was frightened. Now this was
15:18
Speaker 1: no story for his wife and children. He ran like
15:20
Speaker 1: the wind, but his feet made no sound upon the soft,
15:23
Speaker 1: mossy turf. Oh boy, it's getting real. It's getting surreal. Then,
15:32
Speaker 1: to his horror, he saw that the glade grew narrow,
15:35
Speaker 1: nettles and weeds stood thick across it. It dwindled down
15:38
Speaker 1: into a tiny path, and twenty yards ahead it stopped
15:41
Speaker 1: finally and melted off among the trees. What the trick
15:45
Speaker 1: gate had failed to achieve, this twisting glade accomplished easily
15:50
Speaker 1: carried him in bodily among the dense and crowding tree
15:56
Speaker 1: You you wanna take his home? It s get freaky, Chuck.
16:02
Speaker 1: There was only one thing to do. Turned sharply and
16:04
Speaker 1: dash back again, run headlong into the life that followed
16:07
Speaker 1: at his back, followed so closely too, that now it
16:10
Speaker 1: almost touched him, pushing him in. And with reckless courage,
16:14
Speaker 1: that was what he did. It seemed a fearful thing
16:17
Speaker 1: to do. He turned with a sort of violent spring,
16:20
Speaker 1: head down and shoulders forward, hands stretched before his face.
16:23
Speaker 1: He made the plunge like a hunted creature. He charged
16:27
Speaker 1: full tilt the other way, meeting the wind, and now
16:29
Speaker 1: in his face. Good Lord, the glade behind him and
16:32
Speaker 1: closed up as well. There was no longer any path
16:34
Speaker 1: at all, Turning round and round like an animal at bay.
16:38
Speaker 1: He searched for an opening, a way of escape, searched frantically, breathlessly,
16:42
Speaker 1: terrified now in his bones. But foll leyad surrounded him.
16:46
Speaker 1: Branches blocked the way. The tree stood close and still,
16:49
Speaker 1: unshaken by a breath of wind, and the sun dipped
16:52
Speaker 1: that moment behind a great black cloud. The entire wood
16:56
Speaker 1: turned dark and silent, had watched him. Is not good
17:01
Speaker 1: when the woods are watching you. That's bad news. It's
17:03
Speaker 1: worse than a cat. That's like that Jodie Foster movie
17:06
Speaker 1: from the seventies, The Watcher in the Woods. Was that
17:09
Speaker 1: Jodie Foster? Yeah, I was so scary. I remember that one,
17:12
Speaker 1: and Betty Davis I think too. That's right, we should
17:15
Speaker 1: have just played that instead of doing this. I feel
17:18
Speaker 1: like we just broke all the tension we'd built over
17:21
Speaker 1: the last ten minutes. Okay, here we go, Everyone al right,
17:23
Speaker 1: the woods are watching. Perhaps it was this final touch
17:27
Speaker 1: of sudden blackness that made him act so foolishly, as
17:30
Speaker 1: though he had really lost his head at any rate.
17:32
Speaker 1: Without pausing to think, he dashed headlong in among the trees. Again,
17:36
Speaker 1: there was a sensation of being stifling lye surrounded and entangled,
17:40
Speaker 1: and that he must break out at all costs, out
17:42
Speaker 1: in a way into the open of the blessed fields
17:44
Speaker 1: and air. He did this ill considered thing, and apparently
17:48
Speaker 1: charged straight into an oak that deliberately moved into his
17:51
Speaker 1: path to stop him. He saw it shift across a
17:53
Speaker 1: good full yard, and being a measuring man accustomed to
17:57
Speaker 1: theodolite and chain, he ought to know, do you know
18:01
Speaker 1: what that is? No? Do you the chain? I think
18:03
Speaker 1: I mean he's a surveyor, says gut has something to
18:05
Speaker 1: do with that. But who knows what the light is?
18:07
Speaker 1: And I think it's a measuring compound. Sure he fell,
18:11
Speaker 1: saw stars and felt a thousand tiny fingers tugging and
18:14
Speaker 1: pulling in his hands and neck and ankles. The stinging nettles,
18:18
Speaker 1: no doubt, were responsible for this, he thought of it later.
18:22
Speaker 1: At the moment it felt diabolically calculated. But another remarkable
18:26
Speaker 1: illusion was not so easily explained. For all, in a moment,
18:30
Speaker 1: it seemed the entire wood went sliding past him with
18:32
Speaker 1: a thick, deep rustling of leaves and laughter, myriad footsteps
18:36
Speaker 1: and tiny little active energetic shapes. Two men in brownie
18:41
Speaker 1: green gave him a mighty hoist, and he opened his
18:43
Speaker 1: eyes to find himself lying in the meadow beside the
18:46
Speaker 1: style where first his incredible adventure had begun. The wood
18:50
Speaker 1: stood in its usual place and stared down upon him
18:53
Speaker 1: in the sunlight. There was the red house in the
18:56
Speaker 1: distance as before above him grinned the weather beaten noticeable
19:00
Speaker 1: word trespassers will be prosecuted, disheveled in mind and body,
19:04
Speaker 1: and a good deal shaken in his official soul. The
19:07
Speaker 1: clerk walked slowly across the fields, but on the way
19:10
Speaker 1: he glanced once more at the postcard of instructions and
19:14
Speaker 1: saw with dull amazement that the inked out sentence was
19:18
Speaker 1: quite legible after all. Beneath the scratches made across it,
19:22
Speaker 1: there is a shortcut through the wood. The would I
19:24
Speaker 1: want to cut down if you care to take it?
19:27
Speaker 1: Only care was so badly written it looked more like
19:30
Speaker 1: another word. The sea was uncommonly like d. That's the
19:35
Speaker 1: copes that spoils my view of the downs. You see,
19:38
Speaker 1: His client explained, to him, later, pointing across the fields
19:42
Speaker 1: and referring to the ordinance map beside him. I want
19:44
Speaker 1: to cut down in a path made so and so
19:49
Speaker 1: it's precise. His finger indicated direction on the map. The
19:53
Speaker 1: fairy Wood, it's still called, and it's far older than
19:56
Speaker 1: this house. Come now, if you're ready, Mr Thomas, we
19:59
Speaker 1: might go out and have a look at it. Oh boy.
20:03
Speaker 1: So basically the shot, Oh yeah, there you got the end.
20:08
Speaker 1: So basically the upshot of this one, Chuck, is that
20:10
Speaker 1: this guy is very lucky that the possessed would spit
20:15
Speaker 1: him out and didn't keep him in there forever like
20:19
Speaker 1: that island did it too, Amelia Earhart, that's right? And
20:23
Speaker 1: Rowse Beers man bringing the civil engineering horror that was
20:27
Speaker 1: Algernon Blackwood. Would I say, Ambrose Beers, that's a common mistake,
20:31
Speaker 1: it really. I like I like the I like Algernon Blackwood. Yeah,
20:38
Speaker 1: he's great. He did the Empty House, which we read
20:40
Speaker 1: once a few years back. So there you go. How
20:45
Speaker 1: scared is everybody? Raise your hand if you're scared me.
20:49
Speaker 1: That's not bad, not bad. Two out of three people
20:52
Speaker 1: isn't bad. All right, So we're gonna move on to
20:55
Speaker 1: Ed Garland Poe and uh, because it's in the public
20:59
Speaker 1: don't main, dude, there's there. It's true, it is true,
21:06
Speaker 1: it's in the public domain. I'm gonna get started in
21:10
Speaker 1: my searching earlier next year. Yeah, or we could just
21:13
Speaker 1: start saving up um and just like buy the rights
21:17
Speaker 1: to read one. Yeah, I mean there are there are stories.
21:20
Speaker 1: It's about getting in touch with the authors that are
21:22
Speaker 1: still living. Sure, it's like I found a good Joyce
21:25
Speaker 1: Carol oateswin and all she all she writes is the
21:29
Speaker 1: best horror ever. For my money, I would say that
21:32
Speaker 1: she's probably my favorite author in general, but I would
21:34
Speaker 1: say she's probably the greatest horror writer of all time. Too. Well,
21:39
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get in touch with her. We're gonna buddy
21:41
Speaker 1: up over the next year. Oh good, we'll loot me
21:43
Speaker 1: into that. Yeah, for sure, we're gonna bring the oats
21:45
Speaker 1: next year. Okay, Yeah. I tweeted to her wants to
21:49
Speaker 1: ask her, and she just ignored it. Really Yeah that
21:52
Speaker 1: was before your big shot. No, this is like last year,
21:57
Speaker 1: which I guess that that's the hole's true. So yes,
22:00
Speaker 1: you're right. All right. Here we go with a story
22:03
Speaker 1: by Edgar Allen Poe. Uh, noted drunk and drug addict
22:08
Speaker 1: died in the street. Really, Oh yeah, Baltimore, right in
22:13
Speaker 1: front of Powers Station Live. Yeah, is there a marker? Yes,
22:20
Speaker 1: it's actually not right in front of it. It's like
22:22
Speaker 1: a street or so over. And I don't remember if
22:24
Speaker 1: it's this house or if it is the place where
22:26
Speaker 1: he died. I think it is the spot where he died.
22:28
Speaker 1: It's like a street or two over in Baltimore. Yeah,
22:31
Speaker 1: it's worth visiting for sure. All right. So this is
22:33
Speaker 1: a post short story called hop Frog silly name, ghoulish content.
22:41
Speaker 1: Yes you ready? Do you want to start? You go ahead? No?
22:46
Speaker 1: I finished that one. Don't you start this one? Okay? Uh, okay,
22:50
Speaker 1: I don't have my imparstell either. We'll just wing it. Okay,
22:53
Speaker 1: just uh just go coco cocoa or wink or something.
22:57
Speaker 1: I don't know. All right, you're ready. H I never
23:08
Speaker 1: knew anyone so keenly alive to a joke as the
23:11
Speaker 1: King was. He seemed to live only for joking. To
23:16
Speaker 1: tell a good story of the joke kind, and to
23:19
Speaker 1: tell it well, was the surest road to his favor.
23:22
Speaker 1: Thus it happened that his seven ministers were all noted
23:25
Speaker 1: for their accomplishments as jokers. They all took after the
23:29
Speaker 1: King too, in being large, corpulent, oily men, as well
23:34
Speaker 1: as inimitable jokers. Whether people grow fat by joking, or
23:38
Speaker 1: whether there is something in fat itself which p disposes
23:41
Speaker 1: to joke, I've never been quite able to determine, But
23:44
Speaker 1: certainly it is that a lean joker is a rara
23:47
Speaker 1: avis in terrorists, said the heroin addict about the refinements, or,
23:53
Speaker 1: as he called them, the ghost of wit. The King
23:56
Speaker 1: troubled himself very little. He had an especial admiration for
24:00
Speaker 1: breadth in a jest, and would often put up with
24:03
Speaker 1: length for the sake of it. Over niceties wearied him.
24:08
Speaker 1: He would have preferred, Man, this is gonna make zero
24:11
Speaker 1: sense to anybody, but here we go. He would have
24:14
Speaker 1: preferred Rabelais Gargantua to the Zadig of Voltaire, and upon
24:19
Speaker 1: the whole, practical jokes suited his taste far better than
24:22
Speaker 1: verbal ones. Getting a bit of a picture of this king,
24:27
Speaker 1: he's a pull finger guy. Yeah, oh man, that's a
24:31
Speaker 1: good one. At the date of my narrative, professing jesters
24:35
Speaker 1: had not altogether gone out of fashion at court several
24:38
Speaker 1: of the great continental powers still retain their fools, who
24:41
Speaker 1: were motley with caps and bells, and who were expected
24:45
Speaker 1: to be always ready with sharp witticisms at a moment's notice.
24:48
Speaker 1: In consideration of the crumbs that fell from the royal table.
24:52
Speaker 1: Our king, as a matter of course, retained his fool.
24:56
Speaker 1: The fact is he required something in the way of folly,
24:59
Speaker 1: if only to counterbalance the heavy wisdom of the seven
25:02
Speaker 1: wise men, who were as ministers. Not to mention himself
25:06
Speaker 1: his fool or professional jester. Was not only a fool, however,
25:10
Speaker 1: his value was trebled in the eyes of the king
25:14
Speaker 1: by the fact of his also being a dwarf and
25:16
Speaker 1: a cripple. And it's about here they wanted to just
25:19
Speaker 1: apologize on behalf of Beggar Allan Poe for some of
25:22
Speaker 1: the descriptive terms that he uses throughout the short story.
25:25
Speaker 1: But please bear with him and us. Yes, what he
25:28
Speaker 1: meant to say was he was also a little person
25:30
Speaker 1: who was handy, capable. That's right, nice nicely put again. Sorry,
25:37
Speaker 1: Dwarfs were as common at court in those days as fools,
25:40
Speaker 1: and many monarchs would have found it difficult to get
25:42
Speaker 1: through their days. Days are rather long at court than elsewhere,
25:46
Speaker 1: without both the jester to laugh with and a dwarf
25:49
Speaker 1: to laugh at. But as I have already observed, your jesters,
25:53
Speaker 1: in cases out of a hundred, are fat, round and unwieldy,
25:57
Speaker 1: so that it was no small source of self congratulation
26:01
Speaker 1: with our King that in hop Frog this was the
26:04
Speaker 1: fool's name. He possessed a triplicate treasure in one person.
26:08
Speaker 1: All right, me, let's do it, all right. I believe
26:11
Speaker 1: the name hop Frog was not that given to the
26:14
Speaker 1: doroth by his sponsors of baptism. That's probably a good guess.
26:17
Speaker 1: I think that's a weird way to put parents. But
26:20
Speaker 1: it was conferred upon him by general consent of the
26:24
Speaker 1: several ministers on account of his inability to walk as
26:27
Speaker 1: other men do. In fact, hop Frog could only get
26:31
Speaker 1: along by a sort of interjectional gait, something between a
26:35
Speaker 1: leap and a wriggle, a movement that afforded man that
26:39
Speaker 1: word illimitable. I think he nailed it illimitable. Amusement, and
26:46
Speaker 1: of course consolation to the king, for notwithstanding the protuberance
26:51
Speaker 1: of his stomach and a constitutional swelling of the head,
26:54
Speaker 1: the King, by his whole court was accounted a capital figure,
26:58
Speaker 1: and galant Poe is super judge. Oh yeah, he had
27:03
Speaker 1: so great looking he didn't Oh no, that's true. No
27:06
Speaker 1: he wasn't, but he wasn't oily, I don't think. Okay,
27:11
Speaker 1: But although hop Frog, through the distortion of his legs,
27:14
Speaker 1: could move only with great pain and difficulty along a
27:16
Speaker 1: road or floor, the prodigious muscular power which nature seemed
27:21
Speaker 1: to have bestowed upon his arms by way of compensation
27:25
Speaker 1: for deficiency in the lower limbs, enabled him to perform
27:28
Speaker 1: many feats of wonderful dexterity where trees or ropes were
27:32
Speaker 1: in question, or anything else to climb. At such exercises,
27:35
Speaker 1: he certainly much more resembled a squirrel or a small
27:38
Speaker 1: monkey than a frog. Alright, so this this guy uh
27:45
Speaker 1: is h His legs don't work as well, but he's
27:49
Speaker 1: got super strong upper body. Is that right? That's what
27:51
Speaker 1: I'm getting, And he's a great climber as a result.
27:54
Speaker 1: That's right. Here we go. I am not able to
27:57
Speaker 1: say with precision from what country hop Frog originally came.
28:01
Speaker 1: It was from some barbarous region. However, that no person
28:04
Speaker 1: ever heard of a vast distance from the court of
28:07
Speaker 1: our king, hop Frog and a young girl very little
28:11
Speaker 1: less dwarfish than himself, although of exquisite proportions and a
28:15
Speaker 1: marvelous dancer, had been forcibly carried off from their respective
28:20
Speaker 1: homes in adjoining provinces and sent as presents to the
28:24
Speaker 1: King by one of his ever victorious generals. Boy, this
28:29
Speaker 1: is terrible. It's pretty dark. But I mean again, we're
28:32
Speaker 1: talking Poe here. Yeah, that's right, and just wait, just
28:35
Speaker 1: wait for it, everyone, just just wait. Under these circumstances,
28:39
Speaker 1: it is not to be wondered at that a close
28:41
Speaker 1: intimacy arose between the two little captives. Indeed, they soon
28:45
Speaker 1: became sworn friends. Hop Frog, who, although he made a
28:49
Speaker 1: great deal of sport, was by no means popular, had
28:53
Speaker 1: it not in his power to render Trippetta many services.
28:57
Speaker 1: Is that is that the lady Trippetta? Yeah, that's that's
29:00
Speaker 1: the lady Okay. But she, on account of her grace
29:03
Speaker 1: and exquisite beauty, although a dwarf, don't forget, just completely unnecessary. Oh,
29:13
Speaker 1: her grace and exquisite was universally admired and petted. So
29:17
Speaker 1: she possessed much influence and never failed to use it
29:21
Speaker 1: whenever she could for the benefit of hop Frog. So
29:23
Speaker 1: she's still a good friend. I like that. Oh yeah,
29:26
Speaker 1: And and he to her even though he didn't really
29:29
Speaker 1: have any power, that's right, which is surprising because a
29:31
Speaker 1: lot of jesters were very powerful in the court. Yeah,
29:34
Speaker 1: that's true. Didn't we do one on jesters? I think? So? Okay,
29:38
Speaker 1: all right, on some grand state occasion, I forget what
29:42
Speaker 1: the king determined to have a masquerade, And whenever a
29:44
Speaker 1: masquerade or anything of that kind occurred at our court,
29:47
Speaker 1: then the talents both of hop Frog and Trippetta were
29:51
Speaker 1: sure to be called into play. Hot Frog, in a
29:53
Speaker 1: special was so inventive in the way of getting up pageants,
29:57
Speaker 1: suggesting novel characters and ray costumes for masked balls that
30:02
Speaker 1: nothing could be done, it seems, without his assistance. So
30:05
Speaker 1: hot Bro can throw a great party, he can't, and
30:08
Speaker 1: apparently so cantrapet it too. All right, let me, I'll
30:10
Speaker 1: do this one more. Ohh, I see. The night appointed
30:15
Speaker 1: for the fete had arrived, A gorgeous hall had been
30:18
Speaker 1: fitted up, under Trepetta's eye with every kind of device
30:22
Speaker 1: which could possibly give eclat to a masquerade. The whole
30:26
Speaker 1: court was in a fever of expectation, for costumes and characters.
30:30
Speaker 1: Might well be supposed that everybody had come to a
30:33
Speaker 1: decision on such points. Many had made up their minds
30:36
Speaker 1: as to what roles they should assume a week or
30:38
Speaker 1: even a month in advance. And in fact there was
30:41
Speaker 1: not a particle of indecision anywhere except in the case
30:44
Speaker 1: of the King and his seven ministers. Why they hesitated
30:48
Speaker 1: I could never tell, unless they did it by way
30:51
Speaker 1: of a joke. More probably, they found it difficult, on
30:54
Speaker 1: account of being so fat to make up their minds
30:57
Speaker 1: at all events. Time flew and as a last resort
31:01
Speaker 1: they sent for Trippetta and hop Frog. Oh boy, all right,
31:05
Speaker 1: so the deal is they're throwing this big ball. Everyone's
31:08
Speaker 1: dressed up, everyone put a lot into it, except for
31:11
Speaker 1: the King's seven ministers and his seven ministers, right right.
31:15
Speaker 1: So they sent for Trippetta and hop Frog to say,
31:19
Speaker 1: what should we do? Guys? We need some help here,
31:22
Speaker 1: So can I start again? Okay? Mm hmmm mm hmm.
31:29
Speaker 1: When the two little friends obeyed the summons of the King,
31:32
Speaker 1: they found him sitting at his wine with the seven
31:35
Speaker 1: members of his cabinet council. But the monarch appeared to
31:38
Speaker 1: be in very ill humor. He knew that hop Frog
31:41
Speaker 1: was not fond of wine, for it excited the poor
31:44
Speaker 1: cripple almost to madness, and madness is no comfortable feeling.
31:48
Speaker 1: But the King loved his practical jokes and took pleasure
31:52
Speaker 1: in forcing hop Frog to drink. And as the King
31:55
Speaker 1: called it to be merry and I just made air quotes. Everybody,
32:00
Speaker 1: come here, hop Frog, said he as the jester and
32:03
Speaker 1: his friend entered the room. Swallow this bumper to the
32:06
Speaker 1: health of your abs and friends here hop Frog's side,
32:10
Speaker 1: and then let us have the benefit of your invention.
32:12
Speaker 1: We want characters, characters, man something novel out of the way.
32:17
Speaker 1: We are wearied with this everlasting sameness. Come drink the
32:21
Speaker 1: wine will brighten your wits. How's that for a king?
32:25
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm no Chuck Bryant. That's okay. Hop Frog endeavored,
32:29
Speaker 1: as usual to get up a jest in reply to
32:32
Speaker 1: these advances from the king, but the effort was too much.
32:36
Speaker 1: It happened to be the poor dwarf's birthday, and the
32:39
Speaker 1: command to drink to his absent friends forced tears to
32:42
Speaker 1: his eyes. Many large bitter drops fell into the goblet
32:46
Speaker 1: as he took it humbly from the hand of the tyrant.
32:50
Speaker 1: Ha ha ha, roared the ladder, as the dwarf reluctantly
32:54
Speaker 1: drained the beaker. See what a glass of good wine
32:56
Speaker 1: can do while your eyes are shining already, poor fellow,
33:01
Speaker 1: his large eyes gleamed rather than shown, for the effective
33:05
Speaker 1: wine on his excitable brain was not more powerful than instantaneous.
33:11
Speaker 1: He placed the goblet nervously on the table and looked
33:13
Speaker 1: around upon the company with a half insane stare. They
33:17
Speaker 1: all seemed highly amused at the success of the King's joke.
33:22
Speaker 1: You want me keep going, keep going? And now to business,
33:26
Speaker 1: said the prime Minister of very fat man. Yes, said
33:29
Speaker 1: the King, Come lend us your assistants characters, My fine fellow,
33:34
Speaker 1: we stand in need of characters, all of us. Ha
33:36
Speaker 1: ha ha. And as this was seriously meant for a joke,
33:40
Speaker 1: his laugh was coursed by the seven nice hot frog
33:45
Speaker 1: also laughed, although feebly and somewhat vacantly. I think he
33:51
Speaker 1: did that, calm calm, said the king impatiently. Are you
33:55
Speaker 1: nothing to suggest? I am endeavoring to think of something novel,
34:01
Speaker 1: replied the dwarf abstractedly, for he was quite bewildered by
34:05
Speaker 1: the wine. I know how I know what that's about. Yeah, alright,
34:09
Speaker 1: go King Endeavoring, cried the tyrant fiercely, What do you
34:15
Speaker 1: mean by that? I perceive your sulky and one more wine? Here,
34:20
Speaker 1: drink this, And he poured out another gobletful and offered
34:24
Speaker 1: it to the cripple, who merely gazed at it, gasping
34:26
Speaker 1: for breath. Drink, I say, shouted the monster. Or by
34:30
Speaker 1: the fiends, The dwarf hesitated. The king grew purple with rage.
34:36
Speaker 1: The courtier smirked. Trippetta, pale as a corpse, advanced to
34:39
Speaker 1: the monarch seat, and, falling on her knees before him,
34:42
Speaker 1: implored and to spare her friend. The tyrant regarded her
34:45
Speaker 1: for some moments, and evident wonder at her audacity. He
34:49
Speaker 1: seemed quite at a loss what to do or say,
34:51
Speaker 1: how most becomingly to express his indignation. At last, without
34:55
Speaker 1: uttering a syllable, he pushed her violently from him, and
34:58
Speaker 1: through the contents of the rimming goblet in her face.
35:01
Speaker 1: The poor girl got up best she could, and, not
35:04
Speaker 1: even daring to sigh, resumed her position at the foot
35:06
Speaker 1: of the table. Man, I know it's hard out there
35:10
Speaker 1: for a court minster. There was a dead silence for
35:14
Speaker 1: about a half minute, during which the falling of a
35:16
Speaker 1: leaf or of a feather might have been heard. It
35:20
Speaker 1: was interrupted by a low, but harsh and protracted, grating sound,
35:23
Speaker 1: which seemed to come out at once from every corner
35:26
Speaker 1: of the room. What what what are you making that noise?
35:30
Speaker 1: For the king? Michael Scott doing his weird voice. I
35:37
Speaker 1: just realized that's great, demanded the King, turning furiously to
35:41
Speaker 1: the dwarf. The latter seemed to have recovered in great
35:44
Speaker 1: measure from his intoxication. That was quick and looking fixedly
35:49
Speaker 1: but quietly into the tyrant's face, merely ejaculated. I I
35:55
Speaker 1: how could it have been me? The sound appeared to
35:58
Speaker 1: come from without, observed one of the courtiers. I fancy
36:02
Speaker 1: it was the parrot at the window, whetting his bill
36:05
Speaker 1: upon his cage wires. True, replied the monarch, as if
36:10
Speaker 1: much relieved by the suggestion. But on the honor of
36:13
Speaker 1: a night, I could have sworn that it was the
36:16
Speaker 1: gritting of this vagabond's cheek. Here upon the dwarf laughed
36:23
Speaker 1: the king. The king was too confirmed a joker to
36:27
Speaker 1: object to anyone's laughing, and displayed a set of large, powerful,
36:30
Speaker 1: and very repulsive teeth. Moreover, he avowed his perfect willingness
36:34
Speaker 1: to swallow as much wine as desired. The monarch was pacified,
36:38
Speaker 1: and having drained another bumper with no very perceptible ill effect,
36:43
Speaker 1: hop Frog entered at once, and with spirit, and too
36:46
Speaker 1: the plans for the masquerade. Take it away. Okay, well
36:51
Speaker 1: this is a Hopfrog quote. Okay, you've been nailing it.
36:55
Speaker 1: I cannot tell what the association of idea. More observed,
36:58
Speaker 1: he very tranquil, and as if he had never tasted
37:02
Speaker 1: wine in his life. But just after your majesty had
37:05
Speaker 1: struck the girl and thrown the wine in her face,
37:07
Speaker 1: just after your majesty had done this, and while the
37:09
Speaker 1: parrot was making that odd noise out the window, there
37:12
Speaker 1: came into my mind a capital diversion, one of my
37:15
Speaker 1: own country frolics, often enacted among us at our masquerades.
37:20
Speaker 1: But here it will be new altogether. Unfortunately, however, it
37:24
Speaker 1: requires a company of eight persons and war or here
37:27
Speaker 1: we are, cried the king, laughing at his acute discovery
37:32
Speaker 1: of the coincidence. Eight to a fraction, I and my
37:36
Speaker 1: seven ministers, come, what is the diversion? We call it
37:40
Speaker 1: the eight chained orangutangs, and it really is excellent sport
37:44
Speaker 1: of well inactive work. We will enact it, remarked the King,
37:49
Speaker 1: drawing himself up and lowering his eyelids. The beauty of
37:53
Speaker 1: the game lies in the fright it occasions among the women,
37:58
Speaker 1: capital roared in chorus. The monarch in his ministry, I
38:05
Speaker 1: will equip you as a rangutangs, proceeded the dwarf. Leave
38:09
Speaker 1: all that to me. The resemblance shall be so striking
38:12
Speaker 1: that the company of masquerados will take you for real beasts,
38:16
Speaker 1: and of course they will be as much terrified as astonished.
38:19
Speaker 1: Boor Oh, this is exquisite, exclaimed the King hop Frog.
38:25
Speaker 1: I will make a man of you. I don't know
38:31
Speaker 1: what's going on with the king. This is just how
38:32
Speaker 1: excited he is. He's speaking through me right now. It's
38:37
Speaker 1: very interesting to see everyone. Josh's eyes roll back in
38:39
Speaker 1: his head every time he does it. The change for
38:43
Speaker 1: the purpose of increasing the confusion by their jangling. You
38:46
Speaker 1: are supposed to have escaped on mass from your keepers, boys,
38:49
Speaker 1: really setting us up. Your majesty cannot conceive the effect
38:53
Speaker 1: produced at a masquerade by eight chang to rangutangs imagine
38:57
Speaker 1: to be real ones by most of the company, and
38:59
Speaker 1: rushing in with savage cries among the crowd of delicately
39:02
Speaker 1: and gorgeously habited men and women. The contrast is inimitable,
39:09
Speaker 1: it must be said. The King and the council arose hurriedly,
39:12
Speaker 1: as it was growing late, to put in execution the
39:15
Speaker 1: scheme of hop frog alright, my turn, your turn. His
39:21
Speaker 1: mode of equipping the party as orangutanks was very simple,
39:24
Speaker 1: but effective enough for his purposes. The animals in question had,
39:28
Speaker 1: at the epoch of my story very rarely been seen
39:31
Speaker 1: in any part of the civilized world, and as the
39:34
Speaker 1: imitations made by the drawer force sufficiently beast like and
39:37
Speaker 1: more than sufficiently hideous, their truthfulness to nature was thus
39:41
Speaker 1: thought to be secured. The King and his ministers were
39:45
Speaker 1: first encased in tight fitting stocking net, shirts and drawers
39:48
Speaker 1: like um uh, what are those called onesies? They were
39:54
Speaker 1: then saturated with tar. This is where it gets kind
39:57
Speaker 1: of painful. Really. At this age of the process, someone
40:01
Speaker 1: of the party suggested feathers, but the suggestion was at
40:04
Speaker 1: once overruled by the dwarf, who soon convinced the eight
40:08
Speaker 1: by ocular demonstration that the hair of such a brood
40:11
Speaker 1: as the orangutank was much more efficiently represented by flax.
40:16
Speaker 1: A thick coating of the ladder was accordingly plastered upon
40:19
Speaker 1: the coating of tar. A long chain was now procured.
40:22
Speaker 1: First it was passed about the waist of the king,
40:25
Speaker 1: and tied then about another of the party, and also
40:28
Speaker 1: tied then about all successively in the same manner. When
40:32
Speaker 1: this chaining arrangement was complete, and the parties stood as
40:35
Speaker 1: far apart from each other as possible, they formed a circle.
40:38
Speaker 1: And to make all things appear natural, hot Frog passed
40:42
Speaker 1: the residue of the chains in two diameters at right
40:45
Speaker 1: angles across the circle, after the fashion adopted at the
40:49
Speaker 1: present day by those who captured chimpanzees or other large
40:53
Speaker 1: apes in borneo. The story just keeps on given, doesn't it.
40:57
Speaker 1: He got weirdly specific there, like Captain that one time
41:03
Speaker 1: should I keep going. The grand saloon in which the
41:06
Speaker 1: masquerade was to take place was a circular room, very
41:10
Speaker 1: lofty and receiving the light of the sun only through
41:13
Speaker 1: a single window at top at night, the season for
41:16
Speaker 1: which the apartment was especially designed. It was illuminated principally
41:20
Speaker 1: by a large chandelier, depending by a chain from the
41:24
Speaker 1: center of the skylight, and lowered or elevated by means
41:28
Speaker 1: of a counterbalance as usual, but in order not to
41:32
Speaker 1: look unsightly, this ladder passed outside the cupola and over
41:36
Speaker 1: the roof. So he got that okay. The arrangement of
41:40
Speaker 1: the room had been left to Treppeta's superintendence, but in
41:43
Speaker 1: some particulars it seems she had been guided by the
41:46
Speaker 1: calmer judgment of her friend the dwarf, at his suggestion.
41:50
Speaker 1: It was that on this occasion the chandelier was removed
41:54
Speaker 1: it's wax and drippings, which, in weather so warm it
41:57
Speaker 1: was quite impossible to prevent, would have been seriously detrimental
42:00
Speaker 1: to the rich dresses of the guests, who, on account
42:03
Speaker 1: of the crowded state of the saloon, could not all
42:06
Speaker 1: be expected to keep from out at center, that is
42:09
Speaker 1: to say, from under the chandelier. Additional scouces were set
42:13
Speaker 1: in various parts of the hall out of the war,
42:15
Speaker 1: and a flambeaux emitting a sweet odor was placed in
42:18
Speaker 1: the right hand of each of the caryatids carryat caryatids
42:25
Speaker 1: Carrie car Caryatids. What do you think it is? Uh, Carriot, Caryatides, Caryatids. Okay,
42:35
Speaker 1: there you go. That stood against the wall, some fifty
42:38
Speaker 1: or sixty altogether. So they got rid of this giant
42:41
Speaker 1: chandelier that hung from a chain in the center of
42:44
Speaker 1: the place where the masquerade ball was going to be held.
42:47
Speaker 1: And now there's basically just a hole in the center
42:50
Speaker 1: of the roof where the chain that held up the
42:53
Speaker 1: this chandelier would have been. Writing tells me the King
42:56
Speaker 1: and his guys are in for a surprise. Yeah, think
43:00
Speaker 1: you might be right? All right, I can take it
43:02
Speaker 1: away here, please do. The eight orangutangs, taking hop Frog's advice,
43:07
Speaker 1: waited patiently until midnight, when the room was thoroughly filled
43:11
Speaker 1: with masqueraders, before making their appearance. No sooner had the
43:14
Speaker 1: clock sea striking, however, than they rushed, or rather rolled
43:18
Speaker 1: in all together, for the impediments of their chains caused
43:22
Speaker 1: most of the party to fall and all to stumble
43:24
Speaker 1: as they entered. The excitement among the masqueraders was prodigious
43:29
Speaker 1: and filled the heart of the king with glee. As
43:32
Speaker 1: had been anticipated, there were not a few of the
43:35
Speaker 1: guests who supposed the ferocious looking creatures to be beast
43:37
Speaker 1: of some kind in reality, if not precisely orangutangs. Many
43:42
Speaker 1: of the women swooned with a fright, and had not
43:45
Speaker 1: the king taken the precaution to exclude all weapons from
43:47
Speaker 1: the saloon, his party might soon have expiated their frolic
43:51
Speaker 1: in their blood. Wow, so they looked so much like
43:54
Speaker 1: orangutang's he feared he would have been killed. People are
43:58
Speaker 1: expiating their blood as it was. A general rush was
44:03
Speaker 1: made for the doors, but the king had ordered them
44:05
Speaker 1: to be locked immediately upon his entrance, and at the
44:08
Speaker 1: dwarf suggestion, the keys had been deposited with him while
44:13
Speaker 1: the tumult was at its height, and each masquerader attentive
44:16
Speaker 1: only to his own safety, for in fact it was
44:19
Speaker 1: much real danger from the pressure of the excited crowd.
44:22
Speaker 1: The chain by which the chandelier ordinarily hung, and which
44:25
Speaker 1: had been drawn up on its removal, might have been
44:28
Speaker 1: seen very gradually to descend until his hooked extremity came
44:33
Speaker 1: within three feet of the floor. So there's a hubbub
44:36
Speaker 1: going on, and no one notices this chain's being lowered
44:39
Speaker 1: from the ceiling, right, Yeah, and it sounds like not
44:41
Speaker 1: a lot of chivalry either, just a lot of pushing
44:44
Speaker 1: and shoving, and every person for themselves. Okay, here we go.
44:47
Speaker 1: Soon after this, the king and his seven friends, having
44:49
Speaker 1: reeled about the hall in all directions, found themselves at
44:53
Speaker 1: length in its center, and of course, in immediate contact
44:57
Speaker 1: with the chain. While they were thus situated, the door,
45:00
Speaker 1: who had followed noiselessly at their heels, inciting them to
45:04
Speaker 1: keep up the commotion, took hold of their own chain
45:07
Speaker 1: at the intersection of the two portions which crossed the
45:11
Speaker 1: circle diametrically and at right angles. Here, with a rapidity
45:15
Speaker 1: of thought, he inserted the hook from which the chandelier
45:18
Speaker 1: had been wont to depend, and in an instant, by
45:22
Speaker 1: some unseen agency, the chandelier chain was drawn so far
45:26
Speaker 1: upward as to take the hook out of reach, and
45:29
Speaker 1: as an inevitable consequence, to drag the orangutangs together in
45:33
Speaker 1: close connection and face to face. The masqueraders, by this
45:39
Speaker 1: time had recovered in some measure from their alarm, and
45:42
Speaker 1: beginning to regard the whole matter as a well contrived pleasantry,
45:46
Speaker 1: set up a loud shout of laughter. Predicament of the
45:49
Speaker 1: apes lead them to me. Now, screamed hop Frog, his
45:55
Speaker 1: shrill voice making itself easily heard through all the din
45:58
Speaker 1: lead them to me. I fancy I know them. If
46:01
Speaker 1: I can only get a good look at them, I
46:04
Speaker 1: can soon tell who they are. Broad take us home.
46:08
Speaker 1: Oh jeez, I was not expecting us here. Scrambling over
46:13
Speaker 1: the heads of the crowd, he managed to get to
46:15
Speaker 1: the wall when seizing a flambeaux. I think a torch
46:19
Speaker 1: from from one of the let's just say torchy sconce
46:24
Speaker 1: on the wall. Okay, he returned, and as he went
46:27
Speaker 1: to the center of the room, leaping with the agility
46:30
Speaker 1: of a monkey, upon the king's head, and thence clambered
46:34
Speaker 1: a few feet up the chain, because remember he's got
46:36
Speaker 1: that upper body strength, holding down the torch to examine
46:39
Speaker 1: the group of orangutangs and still screaming, I shall soon
46:43
Speaker 1: find out who they are, brock And now, while the
46:46
Speaker 1: whole assembly, the apes included, were convulsed with laughter, the
46:50
Speaker 1: jester suddenly uttered a shrill whistle when the chain flew
46:58
Speaker 1: violently up for about thirty heat, dragging with it the
47:01
Speaker 1: dismayed and struggling orangutanks and leaving them suspended in mid
47:05
Speaker 1: air between the skylight and the floor. Hop Frog, clinging
47:09
Speaker 1: to the chain as it rose, still maintained his relative
47:12
Speaker 1: position in respect to the eight maskers, and, still, as
47:15
Speaker 1: if nothing were the matter, continued to thrust his torch
47:18
Speaker 1: down toward them, as though endeavoring to discover who they were.
47:23
Speaker 1: So thoroughly astonished was the whole company at this ascent
47:27
Speaker 1: that a dead silence of about a minute's duration ensued.
47:31
Speaker 1: It was broken by just such a low, harsh, grating
47:34
Speaker 1: sound as had before attracted the attention of the King
47:37
Speaker 1: and his counselors when the former threw the wine in
47:40
Speaker 1: the face of Trippetta. But on the present occasion there
47:44
Speaker 1: could be no question as to whence the sound issued.
47:47
Speaker 1: It came from the fanglike teeth of the dwarf, who
47:50
Speaker 1: ground them and gnashed them as he foamed at the
47:54
Speaker 1: mouth and glared with an expression of maniacal rage into
47:57
Speaker 1: the upturned countenances of the King and his seven companions,
48:03
Speaker 1: said at length, the infuriated jester, ah, I begin to
48:07
Speaker 1: see who these people are now Here, pretending to scrutinize
48:11
Speaker 1: the king more closely, he held the flambeau to the
48:14
Speaker 1: flaxen coat, which enveloped him, and which instantly burst into
48:18
Speaker 1: a sheet of vivid flat. In less than half a minute,
48:21
Speaker 1: the whole eight orangutans were blazing fiercely amid the shrieks
48:26
Speaker 1: of the multitude, who gazed at them from below, horror stricken,
48:29
Speaker 1: and without the power to render them the slightest assistance
48:33
Speaker 1: At length. The flames, suddenly increasing in virulence, forced the
48:37
Speaker 1: jester to climb higher up the chain to be out
48:40
Speaker 1: of their reach. And as he made this movement, the
48:43
Speaker 1: crowd sank again for a brief instant into silence. The
48:47
Speaker 1: dwarf seized this opportunity, and once more he spoke, And
48:51
Speaker 1: now she distinctly, He said, what manner of people these
48:55
Speaker 1: maskers are? They are a great king and his seven
48:58
Speaker 1: privy councilors, the king who not scruple to strike a
49:01
Speaker 1: defenseless girl, and his seven councilors who will bet him
49:05
Speaker 1: in the outrage. As for myself, I am simply hot
49:08
Speaker 1: frog the jesta, and this is my last guest fur Mike, Yeah,
49:21
Speaker 1: he did. He dropped the mic while the king was
49:23
Speaker 1: on fire. Owing to the high combustibility of both the
49:27
Speaker 1: flax and the tar, to which it adhered. The dwarf
49:30
Speaker 1: had scarcely made an end of his brief speech. Before
49:33
Speaker 1: the work of vengeance was complete, the eight corpses swung
49:37
Speaker 1: in their chains of fetid, black and hideous and indistinguishable
49:41
Speaker 1: mass and leave it to Poe. He hurled his torch
49:45
Speaker 1: at them, clambered leisurely to the ceiling, and disappeared through
49:49
Speaker 1: the skylight. It is supposed that Trippetta, stationed on the
49:53
Speaker 1: roof of the saloon, had been the accomplice of her
49:56
Speaker 1: friend and his fiery revenge, and that together they affected
49:59
Speaker 1: their a gape to their own country, for neither was
50:03
Speaker 1: seen again. What get them? Hop Frog? Somebody needs to
50:09
Speaker 1: name something hop Frog in honor of hop Frog and Tripetta.
50:13
Speaker 1: I agree, because, uh boy, the king was a jerk.
50:18
Speaker 1: He uh it was cruel. Don't forget oily oily, and
50:23
Speaker 1: he got his come up and yeah, I would say
50:26
Speaker 1: being burned alive is come up. And for sure in
50:30
Speaker 1: a as an orangutang to say yeah, to say the
50:33
Speaker 1: least insults injury. I want to say you got anything else,
50:38
Speaker 1: but that would imply that you have like another short
50:40
Speaker 1: story up your sleeve, do not? Well, that's it, everybody,
50:44
Speaker 1: We want to wish you all a safe and happy Halloween. UM,
50:48
Speaker 1: get scared, but not too scared, you know what I mean,
50:51
Speaker 1: Like Algrian and Blackwood scared. How about that? Agreed? Uh
50:55
Speaker 1: and we will see you next time with our regular
50:58
Speaker 1: type of episode. But until the um so long Halloween,
51:02
Speaker 1: everybody m