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The Wettest Stories Ever Told (S17E18) · Four Finger Discount (Simpsons Podcast)

0:03
Good morning, crew, Welcome today seven eighteen of our voyage. Today's announcements.
0:08
First of all, in an effort to save water, you will no
0:11
longer be given any water. And because of a drawing of myself having romantic
0:17
congress with a mer man, I am dumping all your mail from home into
0:24
the sea. And I can assure you there were cookies in there, good
0:30
cookies, the guy and only a loving mother or at Millhouse's father could make
0:34
my father's alive. No, he died while baking. It's all in the
0:37
letter. Four Finger discount Dude, Welcome to four Finger discounted the podcast where
0:58
the second story is always the weakest. This week, were here to review
1:00
episode hb F one one. It is the whatster stories ever told. I
1:04
am Dando and I am Guy, a Protestant, not a prostitute. By
1:08
the way, I'm not gonna lie. This is one of the weakest episodes
1:11
ever told. It was a bit soggy. Yeah, it wasn't great.
1:19
They tried hard pulling out the at least you tried cake to you know,
1:23
Actually no, did they did they really try? I'm not sure. I
1:27
just don't know why. I mean, I'm sure in concept that might have
1:30
thought this is gonna be fun, but once you get sort of stuck into
1:33
it, you would have gone, there's really nothing here. It's just they
1:36
have now gone, every season, we've got to have a trilogy episode that's
1:38
not triut of horror, and it's like, if it makes sense, it's
1:42
worth it. But this was not worth it. In my opinion. This
1:45
was just bland as bland can be, not bad in the sense of like
1:49
eye rolling him or making me annoyed. It was just a nothing episode,
1:53
so nothing. It was kind of like you know that old saying sometimes an
1:57
episode is like a fat if you're four, that you're going to end up
2:00
with shit, and that's kind of what you got with the with the Wetter
2:06
Stories ever told I was trying, I was trying to cut it a bit
2:08
of slack, but because I don't mind a little seafaring tale every once in
2:14
a while, I'm down for some seamen every on some occasions, hyeah,
2:19
don't know what you want, we know what you're into, And I guess
2:23
I'm kind of a sucker for particularly old seafaring tales where it's like I mean,
2:29
because basically these guys were like, you know, space explorers. They're
2:31
hitting off into the ground and you don't know if you're gonna fall off the
2:35
edge of the world. There might be monsters out there. They actually used
2:37
to have maps as there here there be monsters. So yeah, it's it's
2:43
not that you can't make something good out of this, but just they didn't
2:47
make something good out of this. And what was what was it? Was
2:51
it laziness? Was it? I mean, okay, I actually can't tell
2:54
you. I just who wrote this one. That's how I look. It
2:58
wasn't it like a combination of a few people and I was by Jeff Westbrook
3:00
this one and directed by Mike b Anderson. So quality behind the riding and
3:05
the director. But yeah, I don't know, not not great. This
3:08
is just very very just swung right through, swinging miss straight through like a
3:15
hot curry. Yeah, not a good episode at all. But speaking of
3:20
things that might be more entertaining than this episode, we had a bit of
3:23
a shamuzzle at our house in the weekend, so several days ago, I
3:27
want to say, earlier last week. I'm not one with you with the
3:30
tools and things where things go wrong and around the house, I'm like,
3:32
bag, can you come fix this please, So the hot water system and
3:38
when things go wrong at my house, I'm like, Daniel, can you
3:40
call you Dad? Please? The giant tank the water system tank at the
3:46
side of a house, which came with the house, right, and it's
3:49
been there for nine years and I've walked past it thousands of times. I
3:53
was taking to bins out last week and I know, so it's water coming
3:55
at it from wa different directions, and I was like, I'm pretty sure
3:59
I would have noticed that's not yeah, that's not a feature exactly right.
4:02
And then but the thing is one of the holes almost looked like it was
4:06
and I found out it was like a pressure release. So basically, if
4:10
if the water is leaking inside, these holes are there to help the water
4:13
get out so it doesn't go gablamo. Right, But like one of those
4:15
things was pissing out water and then it was just water sort of like leaking
4:18
out of like a pipe coming out of it. I was like, that
4:21
doesn't look right, and that cords leaking going towards the house and to a
4:25
power point. I don't think this is safe, guys. So I bought
4:29
it from the house and I was like, actually scared when I was unplugging
4:31
it from the house because I thought if I gonna get it, he looked
4:34
up on Google, like how do you turn off hot water system? So
4:38
we do that anyway. So it's Saturday and we're like, we need this
4:42
fixed. A SAP and the plumber. We know, you know, everyone
4:44
knows their one plumber friend, but our one plumber friend is in Northern TERRORISTI
4:47
at the moment, so he's no vapor to fix it anyway, So we
4:50
call up just Google hot water system fixes in Gelong. We'd call a couple
4:54
of ones at a local and Geelong, I've gone through to message paper,
4:57
I'll leaving basics. I was like, no, we need it done now.
4:59
So we finally get through to one and I look back now and like
5:01
the clues were all there that I shouldn't have taken these people, but you
5:04
know, we needed it fixed. And I was like, hello, how
5:08
can we help you? And I was like okay, And I realized halfway
5:10
through the call it was clearly just like a not a call center, but
5:15
just basically just like an operator for many sort of different divisions around Australia.
5:18
I'm like, okay, this is clearly a big business, right, So
5:21
they're going to charge more. You would you know, important reflection. But
5:25
anyway, he puts us through and then the guy comes and it's one hundred
5:29
and forty dollars just for him to appear. And he opens up our gate
5:31
where the tank is and the first words are for him, No, it's
5:34
fucked it. It's fun. I'm gonna need a new system. I'm like,
5:39
what is this guy just saying this because it's fun. I'm like,
5:41
it looks it looks pretty stuff. But it's just like, oh yeah,
5:43
no, no, she's had it. You're gonna need a whole new system
5:46
like this, that, and you have to replace this, you have to
5:46
put this. He goes, what we do is we install this, we
5:48
install that, and me, I'm like this but I'm just saying all this
5:51
stuff and I'm like, well, just slow down for a second. Just
5:54
tell me what's wrong. First he's like, oh, it's cracked inside.
5:56
It shouted itself. I'm like, don't worry, you're getting the job.
5:59
I just need to know what you're going to be doing. Blah blah blah.
6:00
So he goes, if you want to, I mean, you can
6:01
replace this if you want. They're from China, but you can replace them.
6:04
You won't. It's gonna cost you fifteen grand. And I'm like fifteen
6:08
grand and he's just like, no, no, what yours? Man't you
6:12
when we cost you that much? When you won't? Be like, won't
6:13
cost you that much? He's look this, let me just go away.
6:15
I'll talk to the manage baba. But I'll come back with the price and
6:16
we'll work it out. And you know, you can do um interest free
6:19
repayments over the next five years. It's all good. You'll be able to
6:21
he goes, You'll be able to pay for it. Don't worry. Five
6:24
years you're five years to pay for an interest free don't You'll be able to
6:26
pay for it. And I'm like And at the time, I'm just sort
6:28
of like, oh, okay, okay, look back now. I'm like,
6:30
this guy is a complete salesman. So he comes back and he's like,
6:33
it's gonna be five thousand, two hundred, and then I'm like,
6:38
oh, that's why it's better than fifteen. But I'm like, still seem
6:41
like a lot of money, Nikola. Nicolas like five thousand dollars. So
6:45
Nikola starts looking up. I'm like, what system are you going to install.
6:46
So Nichola starts googling and she's like this, She's like this system here.
6:50
He's like yeah yeah. So once she goes well, only says it
6:53
cost nine hundred dollar from the ring website. Yeah, but you know,
6:55
I've got to change your system. You're going from your solar now you're gonna
6:57
be using this and infinity this and fucking this that the other on all these
7:00
pressure terms. And I'm just like, I think he knows he's talking about
7:02
it. It seemed like a nice guy, like I love to go beating.
7:04
Of course, he's a salesman. That's what they're supposed to do.
7:06
Be your friend. So eventually we're just like all right, just go ahead,
7:11
but we need to fix us. Just do it. I called my
7:12
dad first, and my Dad's like, I got mine fixed like two years
7:15
ago. It was like two thousand dollars. That seems like a lot of
7:16
money to me anyway, So we went through with it. He starts taking
7:19
the ads like that, yeah exactly. Then the guy who missed that call
7:26
originally the local guy, calls up and he goes high and just it's Bruce
7:30
here, just wondering if, by the way, Geelong hot water. That's
7:32
shout out to Long Water Bruce at Long Hot Water anyway. So he's just
7:35
like, oh, so, I said, I'm sorry, someone's already here
7:39
and they're fixing it. He's like, if you don't mind me asking,
7:41
what's what's he charging you to fix this? And I said five thousand,
7:45
two hundred and he goes, you're fucking joking me, and I went,
7:49
is that too much? He goes too much? He goes what is he
7:51
doing? And I explained it and he goes, I could have that done
7:54
for you for twenty six hundred. I'm like, that's literally half twenty six
7:58
ninety because I've got to take away the tame as well, because I'm like,
8:01
you can do it now, and he goes, yeah, tell you
8:03
go, tell him to stop, tell him to fuck off, and I'll
8:05
do it for you, my dad. It's literally what he said. He
8:09
goes, just te him to fuck off, Like I don't think I can.
8:09
I'm like, he'd already started. He goes, have you signed anything?
8:13
I said, I signed the thing to say that he'd been. He
8:13
goes, you haven't paid him any money? Have you said that? He
8:16
goes, taling a fuck off. Okay, First of all. Shout out
8:22
to Bruce. What a man, what a lord. I'm sorry Dan,
8:28
Guys like you and me who are just hapless and hopeless when it comes to
8:33
home repairs or this kind of thing. People like Bruce are guardian angel they
8:39
really, I'm sure they look at us as like, oh, ypathetic thing.
8:45
Oh no, exactly right to swoop in and say no, I'll do
8:50
it for half and tell that guy to fuck off. It's like, oh,
8:56
I feel like the re I feel like the gringe. My heart is
8:58
just swelling inside. Oh they were still good people in the world. Shout
9:01
out to Bruce and Gelong hot water. Oh, because he could have easily
9:05
gone, I'll do it for thirty five hundred, you know what I mean,
9:07
it's still cheap and yes, pe yeah, yeast like and he goes,
9:13
look as long as long as yeah, as long as you give me
9:15
a cup of coffee and a couple of biscuits, I'll do for twenty six
9:16
ninety. And I'm like, I was just about to say Nicola would make
9:20
him some cookie, or you would. I love the very twentieth century tradesman
9:31
approach. Oh oh yeah, come just make it, make us a cover,
9:35
make us a coup and a teddyber biscuit. Oh man, oh this
9:41
story. So some one outside and my heart's raised, and I'm like,
9:46
this guy's like, I don't know what do I do? What do I
9:48
do? Like I tod this time to go away. I can't just say
9:50
fuck off, and I'm just like I'm just like I look, with reascessible,
9:54
we're freaking out. I don't think we can afford it right now.
9:56
Look, we'll just have to go. And he goes, oh, you're
9:58
kidding me, and I was like, no, no, we can't go.
10:00
That's right, And he actually couldn't have been lovely about it, like
10:01
made it all safe and stuff like that. And I just felt bad because
10:05
I'm like, oh, this guy thinks he's gonna get a job, and
10:05
he's ill said, I'm sorry, mate, and he goes, look,
10:07
I'm an employee. Whether I do this job or not is not going to
10:11
impact how much you get paid today. I was like, I ain't give
10:13
a fuck. So like he's just like and apparently his manager was just like,
10:16
no, you must keep doing it, and he just ignored it,
10:18
so he to him as well. But like, but Bruce came over this
10:22
morning and fixed it, and holy shit, just what an absolutely just like
10:26
you said, Guardian angel Nicola made him his coffee, had a couple of
10:28
business. He's sitting out there two hours later we had a hot water fixed
10:31
again. Oh, because that really is one of them. I mean,
10:35
I'm sitting in my house right now. I'm thinking about various things like guttering
10:41
could really be replaced, or you know, you notice a crack in your
10:45
plastering or something like that. It's like, this house is not about to
10:48
blow away or sink into the ground or anything like that, but there's stuff
10:52
that needs to be done, but it's not urgent. But yeah, something
10:56
like hot water. It's like, and particularly today because in any downtowns Along
11:00
it's not sunny downtowns Along it's cold as fuck. It's cold as fuck and
11:05
want hold water at that time. I mean, it's it's it's a it's
11:07
a vital thing. I'm sorry. We're as soft as baby shit here in
11:11
the in the year around Lord twenty twenty three needs hard. But this guy,
11:18
Bruce, Bruce by the one then before you'd come over on the day,
11:20
he was like, look, you can either knock go out there and
11:24
have the conversation to pay five grand, or you can go out and have
11:26
a the Yorkard conversation and save yourself twenty six hundred dollars. And I was
11:30
like, I think I'll go with the twenty six hundred saving. Thank you.
11:33
Look, it is an awkward conversation that's worth two and a half grand.
11:39
Yeah, that's I literally just said to Nicola, I'm Nickela, you
11:45
stay in the house. I don't know how is it going to go down?
11:46
Because tradesmen at times can be very unpredictable. And when a guy thinks
11:50
he's just got a five thousand dollars job and he tell him to go away,
11:52
I'm like, is he going to go away? I've made him already
11:58
too far into this. I'm like, what do I do then? And
12:01
then yeah, and then I can tell You're not can you? And I'm
12:05
like, no, I can't. I wouldn't seen that, Nickel. I'm
12:09
calling Bruce. I'm getting Bruce over here right now. It's like, oh,
12:15
fuck, Bruce hits the Bault. You mean Bruce rom to Long?
12:18
What holy shit? Bruce? You know John Wick. It's like John Wick,
12:24
you shoe Bruce's page. It's like, oh, you must leave right
12:26
now Bruce is like the John Wick of plumbers. It's funny because my plumber's
12:33
name is actually David Hardwick. Okay, also a good guy. But he
12:39
replaced my hot water system a while back. And it's one of those ones
12:43
who's like, yeah, like I said, you need hot water, but
12:46
also when it goes around and saying water is going everywhere, and that's just
12:52
that's a ship thing to have happened. The guy that came first, he
12:56
was like, if you don't get this fixed to day out of Garanteed by
12:58
that Tuesday, your whole system is going to I can get leaks in the
13:00
roof. And I'm like, oh no, everything that can go my collectible
13:05
buses in the roof. They're gonna get women coming. God, but Dad
13:13
would rudmate film goop ups cook on his face. Oh man, Oh goodness
13:22
mate, Oh Dando. That was truly the wettest story of a told.
13:26
I thought it was quite fitting for this episode. By the way, speaking
13:31
of the four figure discount, our podcast, Universe, The Succubus Side and
13:35
Adventure Southfolk, I was about to say the unified theory still holds up.
13:41
We're not planning any of this. People it's just happening. No, I
13:45
mean we planned some things, but that we didn't plan. I mean,
13:48
in the grand skin of the actual timeline, people are going, what are
13:50
you talking about? You reviewed The Succubus weeks ago. We're recording a bunch
13:52
of podcasts right now, so we're can a go in on holiday and have
13:56
to record on our holiday. But as we record this, we just recorded
13:58
our of view of the Succubus where Chef's girlfriend Rode Girl plays the Morning After,
14:05
and then this one we get the Morning After the Simpsons version. We
14:07
do indeed, and dare I say not as good? Not as good at
14:11
oh? I just when I saw the beside An Adventure, I was like,
14:13
Okay, well guys at least gonna like this, and I'm watching it,
14:16
I'm like, this is the probably the funniest of the three because it's
14:20
more like pop culture references. But I'm like, I still haven't that funny.
14:24
It felt mostly pop culture remsens end. It just feels like these things
14:28
here now they just get the Simpsons episode Simpsons characters and put them into the
14:33
roles, but don't actually really make that many jokes about it. It's just
14:35
this person is coming with a guy, this person as Flannders, this person
14:39
at home, and I was like, and but what's the point of this?
14:41
Why am I watching this? That was pretty much the case. Yeah,
14:45
I mean, look, I was happy to see aside Adventure take off.
14:48
I was even more happy to see a mutiney on the Bounty take off.
14:52
I mean, that's a that's a movie though, well there are various
14:54
there have been various remakes of it over the years, but it's one that
14:58
I really dug as a kid. I'm like, oh, they're Captain Blair.
15:01
Seems like real Dick good on that Fletcher Christian. But maybe Blair had
15:05
a point. I don't know. Yeah, I mean, like I said,
15:07
they chose interesting stories and they just did nothing with them. Hey,
15:11
my favorite Did you have any favorite moments from this episode? Because I haven't
15:13
actually writtenkny down have I have two, one of which is, hey,
15:20
it's Weezer. I like hearing Weezer and they yeah, they once again wrote
15:26
a check for the soundtrack department and like, let's get Islands in the Sun,
15:31
one of my favorite Weezer songs. So I was happy to hear that.
15:33
That's like the Weezer Summer Side. Maybe Buddy Holly, right, I
15:37
reckon, Yeah, I think Island and the Sun is far more I think
15:39
it's even more popular Buddy Holly, though I think it could be. It's
15:43
such a cheerful song, I mean, and just just a cruisy, cruising
15:46
little number. I might prefer Buddy Holly. But still the Sun is a
15:50
pretty good song. And I did like Mo breaking the fourth wall at some
15:54
stage where he's saying, yeah, that's how we talk. Yeah weird,
15:56
huh. I mean yeah, I guess the whole point of just be making
16:02
fun of how they talk, though, as opposed to actual like, but
16:03
the thing is, when you when you just retelling stories, there's no there's
16:07
no room for sort of expanding on it. I guess there is, like
16:11
you sort of based your story on that, because but it feels like it
16:14
feels like here they're just retelling the stories as opposed to basing their own version
16:18
on the usual story. Just it just feels very nothing like that first segment
16:22
just sort of felt like you were just no jokes, jokes were really Oh,
16:26
isn't it funny how these people talk? And I'm like, maybe,
16:29
no, not really, But I didn't mind. I shouldn't mind the little
16:33
bits in between the stories at their frying dutchment. Really, I mean it
16:40
was it was it was okay to see an octopus with a bunch of knives.
16:44
That was kind of cool. Yes, But the basketball thing, I'm
16:48
like, what why? Really? Maybe, and I'm just trying to find
16:52
something. I forget the fit. We're getting a lot of man, well,
16:56
that's what this episode sort of just epitomizes, just the yeah, just
17:00
a little shrug. It is a bit of a shrug. Next question,
17:03
you there eating the paste. It is trivia time, which means it is
17:07
also now time to read out the names. Give some shout outs to our
17:10
Patreon producers. That's what you've got new names now. You are now known
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as Patreon producers. If you're on the twenty dollars here Patreon producing, you
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get your name ready on every single podcast we do here at the four Finger
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Discount Network. So we're going to start with Jordan Moulman, Richie Christopher Derby,
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Jonathan Rossi, Zach Pruett, Timothy Belson, George McManamy, Stephen Roberts,
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Shawn Dvpte Anderson, Andrew Davis, Ryan Dunlap, Jared Howard, Kevin
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Dentzel, Planned Flood, Joel your Land, Daniel Kotnick, Shannonhofer, Reese
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Roberts, Ballo winder Bank, Mark Boston Burgess, Jack McFadden, Heath Appleby,
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Thank you so much guys for being Patreon producers here at four Fingered Discount.
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Remember five dollars a week. We'll get your name included in that list.
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But also some special shoutouts now to our man Elliott J. O'Neill from
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the Simpsons Index Podcast. If you're a fan of the Simpsons, check them
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out. He's also the co host, along with myself, of gooda E
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W and a EW Wrestling podcast here on the four Finger Discount network as well,
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so check out the Simpsons Index Podcast. Also our man andrew'serve for his
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fifty dollars support Absolute legend and the lovely, the one and Only Kadig four
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at four Finger Discount. Remember five dollars more, we'll get you a shout
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18:23
get your name right out on every show we do here. Okay, let's
18:26
get into some trivia questions. Can you name three of the items on the
18:33
wallpaper at the frying dutchment? And I just remember the swordfish is the one
18:37
that gets him? Is it steering wheel? Is that one of them?
18:41
Yes? That is yeah, one of the ship's wheel. Ship's wheel,
18:44
yep, yep. I don't know. The other tattoo is one of them.
18:48
There was also the popeye tattoo, the gilligan hat, and the fish
18:55
with boobs. Okay, I'm mermaid, Okay, moment, all right.
18:57
My question is what is the name of the worker that Sea Captain hankshi on
19:03
whilst playing basketball. It's Julio. Julio. Correct in your face, Julio.
19:10
I believe. What are the numbers that are the two digit numbers that
19:15
Lisa adds together, And what is the result of those two numbers? Some
19:18
of those two numbers, So it's eighty four, eighty three one of the
19:22
two. You're a little lower, little lower, so it's eighty one.
19:29
No, no lower than that. You are half right, I thought I
19:33
thought it was forty one plus like thirty two or something. The two numbers
19:37
were thirty one plus forty three, which come to seventy four. Oh,
19:41
seventy four. I was way off, all right. My next one is
19:44
it was day what of the voyage? Oh one time I look away because
19:49
I've got a lot of dates and a lot of all that gun of bitiness.
19:52
It is twenty twenty four less than the Simpsons address. Well, now
19:57
I've got to remember this, remember rather than my head at seven four two
20:02
over Green Darris and what was in it was my understanding there would be no
20:10
maths today. But speaking of which, what year does the mayflower'll leave England?
20:15
What what year? No idea? Sixteen twenty sixteen twenty And I'll try
20:22
and find one more trivia question here for you. Which character gets split in
20:27
half and has a sight gag death in the final segment that is crusty le
20:33
clown. M See, I haven't seen these films, so I'm showing there's
20:37
a lot of references here that goes straight over my head. But you'll get
20:40
to carry the carry the load this episode, I think with the things that
20:42
are pointing out direct references to the films, loads. Okay, this episode
20:48
was a load. The four Figure Discount Network is brought to you by our
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So if you enjoy everything we do here at four Finger Discount, you
21:18
two can join the family for just as little as one dollar per month and
21:22
help this podcast drain continue to thrive by heading to patreon dot com slash four
21:26
finger Discount link is in the description of this podcast. So the original air
21:30
day of the Wetter Stories Ever Told was April twenty third, two thousand and
21:33
six, written by Jeff Westbrook and directed by Mike B. Anderson. No
21:37
Chalk Gab at the Couch Gag was where Homer solves a chicksaw puzzle of the
21:41
family. He places Maggie's head and his in the wrong positions and saying Dalt
21:45
and the immediately fixes the mistake and starts giggling to himself. So the episode
21:49
kicks off with the family at the Frien Dutchman and when I always like going
21:55
to the Frien Dutchman because it reminds me of the oil Can Eat storyline,
21:57
which is still to this date one of my favorite Homer side stories. That's
22:00
one of the FA's one of my favorite betpots of all time. There could
22:03
have been me that's just full of group. Yeah, let's just talk about
22:10
that episode. Does this look like the actions of a man who truly had
22:14
only get eat so good? Actually? Know what? My favorite line from
22:19
the episode, sorry, we'll go to the backup winter store. Just the
22:23
resignation in Marge's boys and then what happened? We went fishing? That was
22:33
written by Colnard O'Brien. Can you believe it? That's the one that's not
22:37
the one that no one ever talks about because he's got home, he goes
22:38
to college, and he's got Marge as the monorail and then new kid on
22:42
the block, which is where I can't remember her name, but the one
22:45
that plays the tomboyish daughter from Roseanne. What's her name? Sarah Gilbert.
22:51
Sarah Gilbert. Yeah, she plays the teenager that moves in next door to
22:55
um Laura Powers next sort to the Simpsons and okay, now, my pars,
23:00
that's when Jimbo's pants are chafing it. Yeah, so you got that
23:04
as the as the main story in the b plot of Home they're pretty much
23:07
sort of fifty fifteen that episode. But I always see that Home at one
23:10
as a b plot. But what an episode? What end episode? What
23:14
a run? I'm sorry, kind and O'Brien just just an absolute legend.
23:18
Imagine if he just like wrote an episode every season, he should go back
23:22
and start writing again. He's not doing nothing now, he's just doing his
23:25
podcast. Go write some all Simpson's episodes. Please make it happen. Do
23:27
it for fun, Just do it for fun. We can, we can
23:30
make him, make him do it. Let's let's start a petition online.
23:33
I'm not sure if I've ever I'm sure I would have mentioned it in the
23:37
time that we've been talking about The Simpsons and mentioned Gardan O'Brien. I just
23:41
there was a line that he had. It wasn't even a comedy routine,
23:44
but he was in some interview that he I think with Rolling Stone, and
23:48
they were talking about how sort of straight laced he was and how how you
23:51
know, sort of he seemed like a fairly regular dude. And he started
23:53
going on about I don't know, man, I want to put a butter
23:57
on a croissant. You don't want to saying croissons are baked with butter.
24:00
I don't give a fuck. I could just hear his voice, though it's
24:07
not it's not necessarily the funniest thing you're ever going to hear, but sort
24:10
of you hear it coming out of Conan O'Brian's like, that's pretty good.
24:15
I said that Nicolas put butter on the croissant. I'm like, are they
24:18
like just butterlery brandche and And I'm like, all right, I'm gonna leave
24:22
it. I will leave this. Yes, that what a what a good
24:30
time that was? Yeah? You are you much of a croissanto man?
24:32
I feel like you'd be a croissanto man? I am in some ways.
24:34
I mean there are some there are some times. There are some days when
24:38
nothing will do the job better than a bacon, sorry, a ham,
24:45
cheese and tomato croissant toasted. Yeah, nothing better. You go through bean
24:48
Squareze gets some coffee one of those. Oh yeah, there was also there's
24:52
a bakery not far from real place, Lamardre, a very nice one over
24:57
towards Gray mccallaway. Yeah. Yeah. They used to make an armored Croissan
25:03
that also had pistachio in it, and of a Saturday morning and be like,
25:07
well, I'm going out to get a coffee and my favorite armond pistachio
25:11
croisson and then they discontinued it. The discontinued my favorite Croissot except for you.
25:18
That's a line that I really had lure the ladies in. That was
25:21
heavy a wonderful weekend until they discontinued my favorite Croissan. See that's um that
25:27
line was probably as gay panicky as this episode, which is just chock a
25:32
block with gay panic. Oh it really is. I feel like I could
25:34
um use that though. That that that croissant you were talking about that there
25:37
is like if Nicola really makes me angry to slip one of those into a
25:41
croissant bag game over, buddy, Oh Brendon, an armored pistachio. Why
25:52
don't you put some budget on that, Chryssie Nicola, Oh, I just
25:56
didn't do it. All my good work. Uh man. Anyway, food
26:00
return to the wetter stories ever told? Just give through this shit. So
26:04
the food, the food taken ages at the fran Dutchman Homer works at the
26:08
pattern on the on the wall. I tend to do that sometimes if I
26:12
see a wall that has a pattern on it, I'm like, where does
26:15
it begin? And where does it end? And you actually feel like you've
26:18
accomplished something when you can find it. You feel like you've cracked the code.
26:22
Sometimes I buy shirts to have like all over patterns, like patterns all
26:25
over and I'm like, okay, so this is where the pattern begins and
26:26
this is where it starts. So yeah, it's like you've you've cracked the
26:29
code, like I said, you're doing Yeah, You're like, what's his
26:32
name is? Zach Galliphan arcis in there? Or beautiful mind shit? So
26:37
just like yeah, yes, and Flanders and make it the the Octopus of
26:42
the Knives and the sea captain offers the bus boy to go to get a
26:47
better restaurant, to get some more food. He says, just in the
26:49
meantime, he will tell an old sea yam. But he doesn't know any
26:52
but Lisa. Then somehow knows the story of the may Flower. I means
26:55
she might know. She's pretty smart kid. She tells the story of the
26:56
Mayflowers journey, the one that brought the prostitutes, which she cracks as the
27:03
Protestants. Then, yeah, basically that is retail the may for our journey.
27:07
There's nothing that's all that's sort of funny. So we've got the Perth
27:11
Harbor in England. They the family there, Marge Butt and Lisa's Maggie in
27:15
this something. It's just Marge Barton Lisa, right. I can't recall any
27:18
Maggie in any of these was there maybe not anyway, But they decide to
27:23
help Homer the man he jumps in. They don't know at this point.
27:26
He's hiding in a barrel and I say, you know, let'll spare this
27:30
man. And he's actually praying for their death that you know, that they
27:32
get killed instead of stead of him, because they're after him for some reason
27:34
I can't remember anyway. Flanders he is Flandish in this one, stupid Flandish,
27:40
and he's very religious, overly religious, you know, whips himself for
27:42
saying a poem and laid on. He whips himself for thinking of a woman
27:45
as a woman. What do you say, miss constance, prudence, chastity,
27:49
good faith. My friends call me Marge. Marge, obedience, temperance,
27:55
sex, won't back offbe we're engaged. I didn't kill her husband,
28:00
just so, I mean, I didn't kill her husband engaged. It's really
28:06
more of an amiable kind cons such language from a woman. Oh no,
28:11
I just thought of you as a woman. The reverend is doing his sermon,
28:18
and they did this a lot in the latest South part that reviewed as
28:21
well. Not the Psychopus song before there's combustion one spontaneous combustion. Let us
28:25
love when I get like a reverend. The comedy just making a mockery of
28:27
religion. So here it's like, even though he's surrounded us by water,
28:30
which if we drink, will kill us, It's like, why's the logic
28:34
in that guide? What were you thinking, buddy? I will surround you
28:40
in water which you can't breathe under, and if you drink it, you
28:42
will die. But if you're smart enough to you know, build a boat.
28:48
You know it'll be nice and buoyant and deep enough that you can travel
28:52
to other parts of the other other land forms much off. We could just
28:56
breathe under water, they wouldn't have just save a lot of the hassle.
29:00
It would be I would just beat up Jason Mama and take over as aquaman.
29:03
I feel like if even if I could breathe under water, I still
29:07
wouldn't go under water. I'm just like, you know, Bruce Well,
29:11
brucey right, tell me today he's shown me photos of craze. He goes
29:12
scuba diving, he catches these giant fucking craze out here in the bay,
29:15
right, And I'm like, I just couldn't do it. I couldn't scuba
29:18
dive. I'd be just too scared, especially like if I can't if I
29:22
can't see the bottom, I ain't getting in. That's always my just freaks
29:25
me out. Oh, I get where you're coming from. I mean,
29:30
I've seen enough movies with sea monsters to be like their must have beasties done
29:34
something. So yeah, I'm not I'm not going in, And then says
29:41
even his time in like the time that they're living in sixteen hundreds would have
29:44
it was He said, even he's still a bad husband for them, but
29:47
then makes a joke at home his expense, so he starts choking him and
29:48
this is what makes Marge or horny because he reminds her of her ex husband
29:55
who used to also choke Bart in the same way. And it's like,
29:57
oh my god, they'll assume be exchang pleasantries and what nice weather Like that's
30:02
pretty good. Then Mo throws a party because only half of people have died
30:08
so far on the journey beer. Who thought you guys didn't drink on the
30:11
gay flower? Stop calling that whatever? They can't go an episode and sits
30:17
and seven team without a gay joke? Can there? There's a few in
30:21
this one. There's just a little throwaways that yeah, not really that clever.
30:26
That's like homos phobia, the episode which is all about homophobic being homophobic.
30:30
The jokes were clever in that, Yeah, everything made sense. Everything
30:34
was so tongue in cheek, but in good nature, this is just import
30:37
taste. All this, yeah, I mean homos phobia, I mean can
30:41
be enjoyed by progressives and homophobes alike. Where this is just like not at
30:47
all kind of care those homophobes. And there's massive storm and during the storm
30:53
they need the team to help them out, the crew, but unfortunately they
30:56
are all downstairs getting drunk because Mo showed home U the beer and said,
31:00
every time you wayf hits the boat, you need to have a drinks,
31:03
so you gotta have a drunk. Homer gets blamed for it all. But
31:04
then Flandish gets knocked out and they need a new captain. So Hammer says
31:08
he's going to step up, but he's been handcuffed in what are these things
31:11
called the gallows? That's the stock stock sucks, yes, yes, and
31:15
yeah. By the way, what something I did like in this episode is
31:18
sort of quick throwaway, but Marge gets all disappointed. I was gonna let
31:22
you touch my elbow through cloth. Put baby, A man has needs.
31:29
Okay, I'll pay that. Homer, he gonna need help peeing. In
31:33
the next strokes, they all stand aside and it's Smithers. They're like,
31:36
oh, I get it because he wants to touch on his willy because he's
31:38
gay. Oh I guess we'll never make it to the New World. Only
31:42
landed. I was going to denounce my sister as a witch. I'll keep
31:47
telling you the ability to add two digit numbers is not witchcraft. Four whishi
31:55
whish preopolicious madness. We could burn the witch later. No, I've got
32:00
to stave this ship. Hey, I've been driving drunk since I was twelve.
32:05
But first, who's gonna help me? Pee? They're looking at me
32:10
because I have the key to the starks. Then Albatross arrives and it's going
32:15
to lead them to safety, which it does, but then Homer eats it,
32:16
and I believe Flanders names it New England. Reverend? Who names it
32:21
New England? Was it, Reverend? I think it was Flanders? Flanders?
32:24
Maybe it was Flanders? Yeah? Two, anyway, quit New England.
32:28
That's original. Yeah, And they come across Chief wig Um and they
32:34
offer him some pumpkin pie, and of course they're going to take his land
32:37
and wipe him out, and that's the end. Yeah, all funny games.
32:42
The second indeed, let's have a little break, play some basketball onto
32:46
the second story. Yeah, I believe that the second that was the last
32:50
one, and the second one was the sea captain brings the bill, which
32:52
I haven't but I haven't actually eaten the food yet. That's the second little
32:55
bit in between. But mister bly So, this is about the ount here.
33:00
Did you want to take the reins of this one? So? Was
33:01
this was this like a good takeoff of the Bounty story or was it just
33:06
all the Bounty is a true story. Yes, yes, but there's a
33:07
movie space on it though. This was this more ta take on the movie
33:10
version of all the story. I think more of the story. There are
33:13
be at least three versions that I remember, and then I sort of watched
33:15
growing up. I mean, there was one from the ninety thirties that had
33:17
you know, um old timey movie stars like Charles Lawton and Clark Gable.
33:22
There was one with Marlon Brando in the I think in the fifties or the
33:27
early sixties. But then I made one of the eighties with Anthony Hopkins as
33:30
Captain Bly and Mel Gibson as Fletcher Christian just called the Bounty had a really
33:35
good supporting house. Liam Neeson's in there, Daniel day Lewis all in sort
33:38
of like supporting what I was like, Wow, this guy had a knife
33:40
for talent. Yeah, But essentially the story of the Bounty is the Bounty
33:44
takes off for you know, an exploration mission captain by by William Bly,
33:51
who was a bit of a martinet. He you know, was very much
33:54
a my way of the Highway kind of guy, and you know, like
33:57
we're doing it this way, and you know, I'm not brooking any shenanigans
34:00
from my sailors. You'll get whipped or you'll you know, you know,
34:02
you won't get your rum ration or some shit like that. Um and his
34:07
first mate and his actual good mate, Fletcher Christian was kind of like,
34:14
this is not really a way to run a ship, dude, We're going
34:15
up my way. And then it's Christian basically oversaw the mutant, he said,
34:21
getting that little rowboat. And because they went that as in as the
34:23
story here shows, they went to Tahiti, had a good time with the
34:29
local Tahitians. Bli was kind of like, none of this. We're getting
34:32
back on the boat and doing something exploring. No, we hated on the
34:36
boat, hence the muting. So yeah, that's pretty much it. They
34:40
just let's move back through then, shall we. Yeah, And they just
34:44
reworked it here with Skinner as Captain, Blibe, Bart as Fletcher Christian and
34:47
the kids as the crew. What's the name of the episode? Is it
34:51
Camp Crusty where the kids sort of go or Lord of the Flies and take
34:53
over They take over at the camp, But also Lord the Flies was more
34:58
the Dusk Bus. They get lost on the island. Correct, Yeah,
35:01
sorry, my mistake. Um, but yeah, that's all there is to
35:05
um there, the muting on the bounding and their view version of muting on
35:07
the Bounty. It's got more m what do you call it, more gay
35:10
panic because what was it? You're gay for Kearney. It's like boons get
35:17
connected or something. I'm pretty sure that I think, I think pretty sure
35:22
in the Final Life tho, because they come back at the end. Yeah
35:24
that's right. Yeah, yeah, I did get a laugh out of the
35:28
brochure that that lure the kids onto being on the Bounty. It's like less
35:31
skirvy, more kirthy. I wrote that down as well. I was gonna
35:35
be on a trivia questions I forgot to write it down. Yeah, a
35:37
very good little tagline there, But basically what you just said, it was
35:40
essentially what this is like. There's no sort of that didn't differentiate from the
35:44
story at all. It's just replaced the characters of Simpsons people and it's like
35:46
the occasional joke but it's wasn't but it wasn't even all that funny. It's
35:51
just not really No, No, I didn't I didn't mind the we're not
35:55
on the island. We're not on Tahiti. I didn't mind the little like
35:59
the on and the sun playing in the back of it. We get like
36:00
the carving the faces Lord ugly face, and the guy joking fire please help?
36:06
Why did you help for me? And things like that, But there's
36:07
there's really isn't much to tell with this one. It's just not that funny
36:12
at all. Not really. No, I think this might be the most
36:15
forgettable episode I've reviewed for the podcast ever. It's just so there. But
36:20
he's Yeah, I mean, here's the thing. You're normally a very enthusiastic
36:22
fellow. You know, your joy of the Simpsons cannot be tamped down.
36:28
And I'm not going to say, yeah, just phone ring in to day
36:31
down because you're not. But yeah, I mean, this is the kind
36:34
of episode that does not really reward in depth analysis. No, because the
36:38
least tree Us of Horror. They it's different, like they get they get
36:42
a story, but they sort of they retail it in the Simpsons way and
36:45
make it more gory or let's gory whatever whatever it is, add more Simpsons.
36:49
They simpsonize it. Here, they didn't really really simpsonize Besides just replacing
36:52
the characters with Simptons characters, and it's just like, well, what's the
36:53
fucking points? Yeah, very true, very true. I've got to say
36:59
I'm glad that you're hot. Order system shit itself gets the first up and
37:02
out of the show, but then the you know, so basically skim will
37:09
skim through it. So as he said, mister Blair is Skinner and Bart
37:14
who is Bart playing? What's the character called Fletcher Christian? Fletcher Christian,
37:17
that's right, yes, Fletcher Christian. And they they're not gonna getting any
37:22
more water, so they they go to Tahini, Tahiti. As you're saying,
37:28
as I said when I got there. When I got there, I
37:29
didn't mind it there. But um, but then when they leave they do
37:32
the mutiny. Um. He wants to see a Sea Shandy, but they
37:36
won't, so they said, no, we're gonna fuck you off. They
37:37
say, he suggests a suggestion box, but the last person that suggested the
37:42
suggestion box they got their head cut off, which was Martin, so they
37:45
kicked him off the boat with Willie, Paulaly got tired along with him.
37:47
It makes Willy he wants really to sing a cea shanty. He can't.
37:50
He says, you know, you're two spilets for a mutiny. Cut to
37:52
Skinner, now I'm mister blind. Now on a turtle he has, He
37:55
got the turtle and turtin and takes him under the water, and that's pretty
38:00
much it. Well, he so, what's the deal with the removing all
38:02
evidence of the previous regime? He takes away the wheel? Is that a
38:06
reference to the story in any way? Do they take away the wind?
38:08
Not? To my understanding, I think that's just Bart being an idiot.
38:12
Okay, that's why they crash. And do they crash at the South Pole?
38:14
Is that what happens? I don't know the story, so I don't
38:16
think that happens in mutiney on the Bounding. I think they've just folded a
38:21
bunch of seafaring exploits into into it. I mean, there's it feels like
38:25
there's a bit of um the Russell Crowe movie Master and Commander in there for
38:29
a minute. There's certainly parts of the Caribbean stuff as well. Yeah,
38:32
but that's that's all there is to it. You're right, there's just nothing
38:37
there, and that's this is the thing. Also, what doesn't help for
38:40
me as a viewer, is that the whole sea voyage story element. It's
38:47
a movie or whatever. It's just never really interested me. That Master in
38:51
Commanding a movie just mentioned there. I ever washed it because I'm like,
38:52
I don't give a fuck like it, Like, sea voyages just don't interest
38:57
me. Pirates kinder, but just like just see voyages going out in the
39:01
seas and I'm just like, I fucking care. I think I said not
39:05
long ago, I was like, I wish I like Pirates of the Caribbean
39:07
more, but I don't. Yeah, maybe that's got something to do.
39:10
Maybe, But the vile our tears to see Captain he's out playing basketball now
39:15
with the crew instead of getting the Simpsons their food, So haven't then tells
39:17
the story of the Poseidon Adventure. It's his tale of moist adventure and basically
39:23
again it's just like retailing the Posidon Adventure. So is this pretty much sort
39:27
of beat for beat the movie or do they put a bit of a Simpsons
39:30
twist in here, because I haven't a little little bit of a Simpsons twist,
39:31
but yeah, not a whole lot. Essentially, the Posidon Adventure is
39:36
yeah, like they say, it's a lovely cruise ship. It's like,
39:38
oh this is it's it's like a modern day Titanic. Nothing I'll ever sink
39:42
this ship. Oh my god. It's a big wave and it turns it
39:44
upside down. The vivors are like, well, we've got to go up
39:47
to get down or down? Yeah, yeah, up to get to the
39:50
bottom and then we can hopefully be rescued. But not everyone makes it,
39:55
and they've got to go through various hazards along the way. U Eventure us
40:00
to play on TV all the time when I was a kid, so I
40:02
think I must have seen it like five or six times on Channel ten,
40:06
which was kind of fun. It was an incredibly successful movie. It was
40:10
yeah. I mean it was directed by, or at least produced by,
40:15
this guy named Irwin Allen, who had a real run of disaster movies in
40:19
the ninety seventies. He was kind of like the nineties seventies version of Roland
40:22
Emeric with Independence Day in the Day Tarrying Inferno, right. He did Tarrying
40:25
Inferno as well, and a few others that weren't quite as good but were
40:30
still. He did one called The Swarm. It was about a big swarm
40:34
of African killer bees that invaded America, and he always got these really big
40:39
name casts. Yeah, they were kind of fun to watch. I mean
40:43
they're they're very cheesy. You look at him now, it's like, oh
40:46
my god, hold the cheese. But yeah, so this is, yeah,
40:51
essentially the Poseidon Adventure. There's a passenger ship gets capsized and people have
40:57
got to make their way through the wreckage to say, because you know,
41:00
there's got to be a morning after if we can only hold on to the
41:02
night I am. I didn't mind mister Burns as the captain of all the
41:07
different sort of references to capsize, but just you get free caps to make
41:09
sure you give us your capsize. Enjoy the episode, down Cake. One
41:15
thing that I did notice in here was, you know, because it's a
41:19
very seventies movie episode in adventure, and Simpsons paid tribute to that by just
41:23
throwing out a lot of seventies references, most of which I got because I'm
41:28
old. But I think it's Barney here Willie Stargel, and I'm like,
41:32
I never heard that person. Let's google Willie. It turns out was the
41:38
left fielder for the Pittsburgh Pirates, the baseball team back in the day.
41:45
There we go. So that's who Willie Stargel is. People. You had
41:49
fun and you learned a little something too. Oh it sounds like guys struggling
41:52
to Breathe is just because he didn't guard almighty massive sneeze just before. He's
41:58
still trying to come trying to make for It's like the probably should ken.
42:05
We're not on live radio here, I probably could have pause. I'm just
42:08
like, is this your polite way? Him saying, guy, go back
42:13
and say everything you just said. Take a breath. I can just tell
42:17
me you're You're just you're trying to get through it. I'm just like,
42:21
backs, man, take you take a second. I want to get this
42:24
over. This episode. What a fascinating cross section of humanity. You've got
42:32
the lonely but lovable loser, Hello angels. You're mission to day involves going
42:37
undercover any with T shirt contest just get you whit? Maybe that's so lovable.
42:45
And you've got the elderly Jewish couple making their first trip to Israel.
42:50
I was sanch Schlomo is working on a kibbutz in Hifa. We're slipping him
42:54
some claplack. They're Jewish all right, elderly Jewish couple here and the Lovable
43:00
Loser, which I'm assuming at characters in the movie. Do you have an
43:02
old Jewish couple or something in the movie there is an old Jewish couple.
43:06
Yeah. Yeah, And who was a comic book guy playing? Is there
43:08
a guy that like ties of rope and drowns or something? No, because
43:13
one of the in the movie, one half of the Jewish couple is um.
43:17
She's this sort of older, kind of overweight lady who's like, apologies
43:23
to listeners here, I'm gonna put on a very stereotypical Jewish woman accent.
43:28
When I was a girl, cracked myself up doing it. When I was
43:34
a girl, I was a swimming champion. So I'm gonna, you know,
43:37
I'm pretty sure I can swim under water and go, you know,
43:39
make it way through it. And she does. She you know, she
43:43
sends a rope through so everyone can get through, but then she has a
43:45
heart attack and dies. Okay, spoiler warning for the Pardon Adventure. So
43:50
that's um. That's a very similar voice to aunt. What's the who's the
43:54
aunt? The great aunt in the Nanny? You know it was a great
43:59
Yenta. Yeah, I was gonna say, it's it's it's yetter. Is
44:02
it getter yet Ye? Anyway, that's what that's what you're sounding like.
44:07
Then thank you, Dan, though, oh dear, that's terrible. Match
44:14
about to enjoy doing those eggs. We get crust. He's been cut in
44:19
half. So I'm assuming somebody gets cut in half in the movie, he
44:21
said, maybe not. I don't remember. Not to the best of my
44:23
recollection, there has been a while since I saw The Posidon Adventure. You
44:27
know what it did remind me of, though, the one of my favorite
44:30
opening acts to any horror movie ever. I don't remember anything else about the
44:34
movie, but I remember seeing this at the movies and being scared shitless.
44:37
Ghost Ship got ship. Yeah, I'm like, whenever just sort of slides
44:43
split in half. It's just like, whoa shit, did not see that
44:46
coming? What an opening? What an opening scene. It's really good.
44:52
And then you wait for the rest of the movie to sort of catch up
44:54
to that, and it's like, I think they shot there one a little
44:58
early. Yeah, yeah, because that's right at the start. Man,
45:00
it's an awesome starts. It's so good ship. Go YouTube goot ship opening
45:06
scene. It's it's well worth it the rest of the movie. But then
45:09
Homer, he jumps off the roof to safety, says Flanders guy me and
45:14
Flanders helped me, and he goes up to flats mustache and extends it.
45:17
Is there a guy with a big mustache in the movie it's the seventies,
45:21
I'm assuming there is probably yes. I hope then counts down to New Year's
45:24
because this will happens to the New Year's Day, right, And then in
45:27
the movie it does happen on New Year's Eve day. YEA, somewhere here
45:32
she's read some brochures. I'm showing is a movie women in the movie,
45:36
he's read some brochures or whatever, and she knows the safety or how to
45:38
get out. I think it's kind of a combination of she's meant to be
45:44
that character who I was imitating him earlier, but then okay, a comic
45:46
book guy doing the swim instead. Yeah, okay, yep, and the
45:51
rumber instructor has been eaten by a shark. What shall we do? Give
45:55
me a token? I'm in the bathroom. What I have great ass suction?
46:02
How about a little privacyAt myth? I have ever dropped something in the
46:07
toilet. I nearly dropped my phone the toilet once, and like it's one
46:12
of those moments where I'm just like there is a guide because I was like
46:16
I was like taking a league. It was on my phone and I dropped
46:19
it and one of those things where it's just like you're like trying to juggle
46:22
it and you let go and he goes down. I was like waiting for
46:23
the bloop, but it hit the seat and so like spun around on the
46:27
seat and it's like teated like a car on the edge of a cliff in
46:30
a movie. And I'm just like slowly lick it up. It's gone.
46:35
If I try to grab it off the seat, they might just fall in.
46:37
So I stuck my hand like into the bowl and went and flicked it
46:38
out. So it's like it's like the opposite of space jam, you know,
46:43
where it's like the balls just on the rims. There's it gonna go
46:45
in there, gonna go and is it gonna be here. It's like you
46:47
don't want it to go in always go. Yeah. I was just it's
46:50
just like be very very careful hand in the toilet and flip. I've never
46:55
dropped anything, only my glasses. I do live and do that. That's
47:00
where you found your glasses. Whatever you do, don't look down, I
47:07
meet up. I can't do this anymore. It's still confusing, not that
47:15
confusing. So Lenny falling off there, I've read that a woman falls off
47:17
to her death and it's almost like they're making fun of the character who dies
47:22
this way in the movie. So I'm assuming the fact that she falls seems
47:25
a bit over the top and silly does it in the movie? Probably?
47:29
Yeah, I think so. Yeah, there's a lot of There is a
47:31
fair bit of falling in the psychanger. Then Sicho mail of course, because
47:36
he can't go itn episode without Sicho mel uses his Swiss army bone and then
47:39
we get the underwater guideline and so the inspirational music. So is the is
47:45
that so hey, You're back? I can see? So is that music
47:46
that he plays learned again naturally? Is that in the movie as well?
47:52
No? No, but that's just a very seventy song. It is a
47:54
very seventy song. Yeah, But kicks him in and he goes and he
48:00
gets as he said, saves the day. But it has some fried chicken
48:01
on the way through, and then has the heart attack because he's fat home
48:05
and then he says, tell the world that I saved you all. Don't
48:07
tell you what to do. Then s melgets his hair caught on fire when
48:12
they're trying to weld open the side of the ship, and it was well
48:15
painful the flame or the iony, he says, the iony. They all
48:19
hop out home. I can't believe. Oh my god, the boat's upside
48:21
down. And then these skeletons from the Bounty episode drive by who were out
48:25
all dead because they were stranded. And that's the end of this shitty episode.
48:32
We made a dand who made it? Yeah? We made it indeed.
48:36
Man, this just felt like I mean, I hate criticizing the Simpsons,
48:42
but sometimes they send this stuff out and you just think, like I
48:45
always say, how and why, there's got to be but there's a level
48:50
level of filter in the Simpsons, sort of like structure. Surely they get
48:54
to got to somebody on an upper level and ever they've gone, this isn't
48:58
all that funny. But I guess at this point they're working on the Simpsons
49:00
movie, and it felt like the show suffered as a result. Felt like
49:04
this the movie became their focus and the show just a quality. The quality
49:07
controller was not there, was it? Especially this one? No, not
49:12
really. I mean I think I prefer an episode that is at least taking
49:15
a big swing and you know, whiffing, as opposed to one that's just
49:20
like, Okay, these are stories that already exist. You know, people,
49:23
people know the Beats, you all know that hits everyone, and let's
49:25
just replace characters with the simpon as people that you know and love. It's
49:30
like, it's not enough, guys, it really isn't. Yeah, this
49:35
was just a shame. This is, yeah, something I can't recall having
49:38
seen the first time around, and we'll probably no, we'll never revisit.
49:45
It's just my point. The thing is like, the first two acts just
49:47
felt so similar in a sense. It's just like just the Simpsons characters on
49:52
a boat. It's like on a ship. And I'm like, at least
49:54
the poside An Adventure one felt different. It's them trying to get out of
49:58
the wreckage, but the first two was just there's really just it's just a
50:01
bunch of Simp's characters on on a fucking boat boat. I just don't care
50:04
at all. Anyway, what are you gonna do? What do we learn
50:07
Balmer? What did you learn from this episode? Mister Davis? What did
50:09
I learn from this episode? That if you regularly eat dolphin, there's going
50:16
to be a booger or two in the mix. That's the way it goes.
50:19
He's going to be Indeed, I learned that I'm never gonna watch this
50:22
episode again. That's what I learned. Do not rewatch the wetter stories ever
50:27
told so, but by all means, keep listening to this episode. Of
50:31
course, if you think of discount of some pretty exciting new names coming up
50:35
right now from this forward, your name droll be okay, mister Davis,
50:39
the new name. Championship leader board stands at this in first position Luke McKay
50:45
on fifteen points, in second position Kyle Muldoon on twelve, and in third
50:50
position we have both Adam Woolhouse and Heath Appleby both on ten points. Take
50:54
it away, let's go. One point goes to Trillo Ce Trillo s not
51:04
bad. That is what's the leader. Luke McKay, he's got at an
51:07
extra point to his tally, taking himself to sixteen point. Ruse. Let's
51:13
see who's going to get two points for the heart of the dopetion. Oh,
51:19
I'd love the dose. Oh, Heath applebe again. Oh, now
51:23
he's in second position two points, twelve points, now, Heath, that
51:25
will be well done. So, by the way, before we get to
51:30
three points, it's something I wanted to point out. There's a few alternative
51:34
titles in here that would generally make the cuts. A lot of them have
51:38
are dough related, particularly the Doe Side and Adventure or the Beside Dope Adventure.
51:44
Props to whoever gave us those ones. But I felt that the name
51:49
the new Lands and I had to pick had to encumbass all three, so
51:52
I couldn't go with just one, if you know what I mean. I
51:54
had to be fair. Yeah. So having said that, three points goes
52:00
to Nautical by Nature. That's so awesome. That's a good name. Oh,
52:09
it's their first ever points, I know, first ever points on the
52:13
leaderboard. Wow, I guess who it is. It's our man who always
52:17
asked the first question. It's one Andrew JP. JP. We're gonna I'm
52:28
betting as well that when it comes to opening them back, Andrew JP is
52:30
gonna be I'm gonna question. But congratulations Andrew JP. Welcome to the leader
52:43
board. You're a wildcard entry and you might just get a nice little something
52:47
something at the end of the New Name Challenge first Prime. Our first position
52:52
is still Luke McKay sixteen points. We have a second position Kyle muldoon and
52:54
Heat Appleby and now outright third on ten points is Adam will House so very
53:00
close to the top, and is any I think four episodes left this season,
53:04
so keep sending them through them or see who wins this episode. Debail
53:09
is here all right. First question, mister Davis, that's see who it
53:14
comes from? Who do you reckon it comes from? It's a guess,
53:16
Dave Abbot Smith. It's not Dave Abbot Smith. It is Andrew JP.
53:22
What is your favorite pirate themed movie or TV show? His his hook and
53:28
his TV show is only flag means death? Oh, our flag means death.
53:32
Our flag means death. Sorry obviously half asleep only. Um that's a
53:39
that's a good really because, as I said just a few minutes ago,
53:43
in this very episode, it's like parts of the Grin. I wish I
53:45
liked that a lot more than I do. There are bits that I like,
53:49
but yeah, um, Dan I mentioned Master and Commander starring Russell Crowe
53:52
and Paul Bettany. That's a movie that I I really like it, but
53:57
I think I respect it more than I like it. It's awfully well made,
54:00
very very well acted, and it's got some good stuff in it.
54:01
But it's one of those ones when you it's not really a rollicking adventure so
54:07
much as like a just a just a really good movie. But sometimes you
54:10
don't want a really good movie. Sometimes you want to be a nice if
54:15
you're out on the open water. Sometimes you want to a nice fill at
54:19
a fish as opposed to a nice fish dinner. There's a TV show actually
54:22
it's really good called Black Sales that's got you know, pirates like black Beard
54:28
and long John Silver in it waiting for like maybe three or four seasons.
54:31
It's really good, actually worth checking out. I believe it. It might
54:36
be on Netflix at the moment, or certainly a streaming service, but yeah,
54:39
Black Sales. I remember back in I want to say twenty five,
54:45
there was this big budget porno called Pirates. It was too I think I
54:52
ever saw it, but it was talk of the town in high school.
54:54
It's like a movie now, but it's a pawn, yeah, like a
54:59
million dollar budget or something. Yeah. I mean that was that very very
55:02
brief window where it was like, we're all going to make a heap of
55:07
money by selling these new things called DVD's, and no one knew how to
55:10
pirate them. Jesse. Yes, So, yeah, the bottom hadn't fallen
55:15
out of the market, although the bottom had probably fallen out of some some
55:19
bottoms had fallen out in this video. Imagine. I've never seen pirates,
55:23
I believe. I remember Jesse Jane was in it because everyone was like the
55:25
love of Jesse Jane at the time. Yeah, was it Jesse Jane or
55:29
Jenna Jamison. Definitely Jesse Jane. I know that kid had a copy at
55:35
school. It's like, oh my god, he's got the boots. There
55:39
was there a lot of lines about booty and there. I bet there was
55:42
a lot of lines. I never saw it, but I remember, like,
55:43
well, like when the kid brought it, Michael was his names in
55:45
my radio show with him. He brought the DVD to school and like,
55:47
how can we get this to play at the school assembly while as the principal
55:52
is giving her Yeah. But also a film which may surprise you, that
55:58
I've never seen in complete. I've only seen like the first twenty minutes or
56:02
so Muppet Treasure Island. I've never seen the full movie. Oh and givenly
56:07
that you're a bit of a Muppets aficionado, yeah, it's Tim Curry and
56:12
that isn't Tim Curry. It's the one that always escaped me. I remember,
56:15
like I was obsessed with the Muppets, but for some reason, I
56:17
never got to see it at the movies and I just never got round to
56:22
watching it. It is so strange. Like Muppets from Space I saw,
56:24
which came out a couple of years after, but Muppet Treasure Island I never
56:28
saw, and I still want to sit down and watch it. And I
56:30
watched like the first half an hour with Alliott. Oh. I want to
56:31
say maybe a month ago. It was on Disney. Plus It's actually quite
56:36
scary, to the point where I turned it off and I was like,
56:37
yeah, maybe this is why, Like I just I don't think it was
56:40
as well received as other Muppet movies. But Mupper Treasure Island one movie that
56:44
I surprisingly I have never seen. Is it that I imagine that's after Muppet
56:49
Christmas Carol? Up? Christmas Carol was ninety two. I believe Treasure Island
56:52
was ninety six and Muppets Some Space was like ninety nine. Yeah, okay,
56:57
Muppa Christmas Carrol watched that religiously. I love that movie. Everyone everyone
57:00
loves that. Everybody loves that. Michael Kane is so awesome in that movie.
57:05
Well, he's playing a real I mean he's I mean no disrespect to
57:08
wh anyone else involved him up in movies because a lot of people give really
57:12
good performances in him. But yeah, he's I've heard people say like he's
57:15
one of the best scrooges ever to be on screen ever. Yeah, so
57:20
great. But your man, your man is in The Great Mupper Caper.
57:24
Oh fuck Charles Groden, the Great Charles Groden. Yeah. Yeah, he's
57:29
awesome in that as well. That's the other thing I've heard is like he's
57:31
got more chemistry with Miss Piggy than most pleasant blood actors have. Another movie.
57:38
Yeah, it's fantastic. All right, what next question here, says
57:44
Kirsty Hodginson. If you could be any movie or TV pirate, which one
57:47
would you want to be? Oh, so you're not gonna You're not the
57:52
actor who's playing it. You are the pirates in which they're playing m I
57:57
don't think i'd want to be Um originally play again, what's he called Captain
58:01
Jack Sparrow? Yeah, Jack Sparrow. I think it wold be Jack Sparry
58:04
because the world's always everyone wants him dead. So it's like, oh no,
58:07
I would not would not want that life. And he's kind of a
58:09
lovable fuck up. He's not like a cool pirate really. I mean he's
58:13
sort of cool ish, but he's also you know, drunk half the time.
58:16
And yeah, I felt cool at the time, but you look back
58:20
up on reflection You're like, I don't think i'd want to be around this
58:22
guy just just brings trouble wherever he is and he's no help. I would
58:27
want to be a pirate that is feared, so she's just gonna go a
58:30
long John right, yeah? Or black Beard? Black Beard apparel was the
58:34
most fearsome of all true, Um, if I was to be a pirate.
58:40
H This is one I didn't mention earlier, but it's a movie that
58:44
I do like. It's a very it's an old one, but it's Australia's
58:47
own. Errol Flynn as Captain Blood. Um. Yeah, the movie is
58:52
fantastic. It's got some great sword vits in It's some great seafaring action rits.
58:54
It a really good involving story as well. Flynn still super cool in
58:59
it. You know, he's just you know, he can sword fight and
59:02
woo the ladies and you know he can be sort of roguish but also honorable.
59:08
Yeah, he's a pirate that I really did. And he's got a
59:10
good moral code as well, because you know, you um, he was
59:14
sent to a slave colony, prison colony because he because he's a doctor.
59:19
He's like a medical doctor and he looks after this uh sort of rebel leader
59:23
or something. It's like, well, you're a collaborator and we're going to
59:25
send you off, but no, no, I'm just a doctor. I
59:28
was doing my duty. And by a circumstances he ends up leading his paratshire
59:30
because he's like the best guy among the crew, and everyone's like, oh,
59:34
we respect this guy. He's going to be the leader. So it
59:36
becomes like a really cool pirate as well. It's like Captain Blood, Yeah,
59:39
that's the one that I like. Captain Blood. That is the name
59:43
of I believe, is it Diaho? That's Jack Die Jack Diet Captain Blood,
59:49
right, that was his nickname. Don't get his started on Jack Jack
59:52
was. I love that man very very much. He was by my late
1:00:00
father, Bob Davis, was a TV personality after he finished his football career
1:00:05
and he just show called League Teams on on Channel seven at eleven thirty on
1:00:09
Thursday nights when they show the original footy show essentially because that's when the teams
1:00:15
would release He's who's playing this week eleven thirty five thirty five. They did
1:00:21
it live every every Thursday, you know, during the footy season. And
1:00:25
it was my dad, Bob Davis. Lou Richards who used to play for
1:00:30
Collingwood and he was a Rover. He's a little guy. Louis was fantastic.
1:00:36
He was a fantastic fellow as well. And Jack who was the kindest,
1:00:40
sweetest, most soft spoken man you'd ever meet, and an absolute knuckleman
1:00:45
on the field. I mean, you didn't fuck with Jack. His nickname
1:00:50
was Captain Blood. You get messed with him, he'd end up bloody as
1:00:53
out. Um. Yeah, but he was. And I was always up
1:00:58
there, you know, sort of hang around and he was always just super
1:01:04
nice to me, always looking out for me. Yeah. I love Jack
1:01:07
dire alt. He was fantastic and on that note, Shower, that was
1:01:10
a lovely story. So, yeah, your fear Captain Blood the Pirate,
1:01:16
but you love Captain Blood the Player very much. So if you google his
1:01:22
image you'll find I think the most iconic image of him is just him standing
1:01:28
over some guy just basically giving him my back hand. We look, it
1:01:34
looks like he's doing the pimp slap or something. It's like, yeah,
1:01:37
that's scared alrighty, well, do you know the next episode we're gonna be
1:01:39
reviewing, Yeah, a four figure discount, mister Davis is girls just want
1:01:43
to have sums. But guess what, Mitch and I did that as an
1:01:46
exclusive skip ahead episode several years ago, so you get a week off.
1:01:52
I never thought I'd be saying these words out loud, but thank you,
1:02:00
Mitch Grinter. Yes, your listeners out there are gonna get to hear Mitch
1:02:04
and Dando from like twenty twenty, back before the before the pandemic, before
1:02:07
Mitch had a kid, everything back in the glory days, nothing could possibly
1:02:12
go wrong, and we enter the twenty twenties. I think life's own things
1:02:16
can only get better. It was one of the last things that Mitch and
1:02:20
I ever recorded together. So Girls Just want to Have Sums will be next
1:02:22
week's episode, and maybe Guy and I will do it as a Patreon exclusive
1:02:25
at some point, but for now you're gonna hear Mitch and Dando reviewing Girls
1:02:29
Just want to Have Sums. But after that, mister Davis, we shall
1:02:31
be reviewing the episode called Regarding Margie. So next time we're gonna hear Guy
1:02:37
on this show is regarding Margie. But tune in next week to hear Mitch
1:02:39
review Girls just want to have sums with yours truly anyway, mister Davis,
1:02:43
for those amazing listeners out there for the next two weeks, we hope you
1:02:45
have tolerated this tale of moist adventure.